Dan’s Papers May 27, 2011 danshamptons.com Page 42
Accessory
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inches. The legs are female after all and the hips are wider than the 18 inches. There was a fourth violation but for the moment, in the absence of my copy of the final decision, which I seem to have misplaced, I cannot tell you what it is. The truth is, however, that none of this mattered to the powers that be in Sag Harbor. What mattered was that the neighbors did not like looking out their windows at sexy legs 16 feet high. And what mattered to the neighbors is what mattered to the Village Trustees. These were registered voters. The Trustees would find a way. The truth also is that all through Sag Harbor and elsewhere in the Hamptons, there
exist wonderful sculptural works of art on front lawns of great estates that would surely, by the same measure, be in violation of one or another of these sections of Village code, that are left alone. Works of art are wonderful. There are also other objects in Sag Harbor, archways, gatehouses, metal gates, gazing globes, tombstones and bird baths that are now in violation and should be removed but will not. For example, the sacred five-fot-tall neon SAG HARBOR sign bolted to the front wall of the Sag Harbor Theatre will have to come down. It extends out 22 inches, far more than the allowed 18. Why none of these things will come down however is that none of them are disembodied
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destruction that would follow. At five minutes to midnight, one of the reporters knocked on his front door and asked if he was coming out. There was no answer. But at exactly midnight, out he came. Flashbulbs popped and the magnesium lights of the moviemakers flared and Reidt shaded his eyes and looked up into the night sky as best as he could. Then at two minutes past midnight he went back indoors. The world did not end, but the next morning, Reidt was interviewed and he said yes he had seen the sign in the sky but it was hard to see because he had been blinded by all the magnesium movie flares people were setting off. The next day after that, he and his family moved out of this area, leaving all their possessions behind. DOOM APOSTLE LEAVES IN FORD, NOT IN CLOUD, headlined The New York Times. Well, I am writing this sitting outside by our pool in East Hampton on Saturday, May 21, at 4 p.m. It’s a sunny beautiful afternoon with the temperatures in the 70s and so far nothing has happened, but of course the day is not done. I sure hope you are reading this on Thursday. As I said, one thing I really hate is taking the time to write something that never appears in the paper and nobody gets to read. So I’m taking a chance here. There’s nothing so far from New Zealand anyway, at least according to FOX online.
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16-foot tall very outrageous, naked, sexy white legs. And that’s the problem. There is nothing in the code that differentiates a statue of legs from a statue of, say, Lieutenant Colonel Jonathan Meigs, the Revolutionary War hero who led the famous nighttime Meigs’ Raid against the British, resulting in the burning of 12 British ships, the killing of six Redcoats and the making off with 90 British prisoners. The Village historians and Trustees would prostrate themselves in ecstasy before a 16foot-tall statue of this war hero. This is Sag Harbor, after all, an old whaling village where some of the stores are still mom and pop-owned, all the history is accurate, and where there’s a metal kiddy ride horse in front of the Sag Harbor Variety Five and Ten into which you can put a quarter and enjoy watching the horse try very gently to displace your four-year-old while playing merry-go-round music. In the 40 years it’s been there, it has never succeeded. Come to think of it, that horse also will have to go. It too is an accessory structure less than 34 feet from the property line. Will Lehr and Vered challenge this decision in the courts and fight for their first amendment rights all the way up to the Supreme Court? Will Lehr and Vered now wait 60 days and if all the other things in violation do not come down, go on a wild rampage tearing the town’s offending law-breaking violations apart? Stay tuned for the next episode of Janet Lehr, Vered, Larry Rivers’ “Legs” and the Sag Harbor Village Trustees.
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