Dan’s Papers December 10, 2010 danshamptons.com Page 25
(!-04/. "!93
on. We think it was an inside job. Someone or several someones during the festivities, at great effort, hauled hundreds of thousands of subway tokens out of the basement storage room in burlap sacks. It was too much for them though— it was about 600 pounds of tokens all together— and the sacks with the tokens in them were found in the woods on Ponquogue Avenue just 100 yards away along with muddy footprints, so we think with the footprints we are going to be able to figure out which of our employees this was. Also some beer bottles. Since the tokens have been replaced with the swipe cards two years ago and are no good, we do wonder what these perps were thinking. Well, it will all come out in court. So much for greed. RATS ON THE WAINSCOTT PLATFORM The giant brown rats scurrying around on the Wainscott platform early last Wednesday morning were taken care of by noon by environmentalists using dart guns tipped with sleeping potion. They were then gently transported to the woods up along Little Noyack Path. So it’s safe to go back there, girls. COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE The fashion photo shoot held on our Southampton platform during the morning rush hour last Wednesday by that magazine Vanity Fair that women seem to read a lot took place without either permission or permits from Hampton Subway. Apparently the photographers were very insistent that, not only the models in their nightgowns stand perfectly still during the actual photo taking, but also the straphangers
By Dan Rattiner Week of December 11-17, 2010 Riders this week: 10,312 Rider miles this week: 91,410 DOWN IN THE TUBE Spotted last night on a subway going from Westhampton Beach to Quogue were seven tiny reindeer, one with a glowing red nose. We are looking into this. (NOTE: Ask Mr. Aspinall if we can put this in.) BUM INTERVIEWS A bum has been found living in an alcove of the underground subway tunnel that connects Hampton Bays to Shinnecock. He’s a happy guy who says his name is Fred and he has made a nice little living place for himself down there with sofas, a coffee table, lamps, club chairs and even a telephone. Without phone or electric lines
South O
they are all props, but he’s been down there about a year undisturbed until now, he says. Reporters from all the media want interviews with him and he says he can do that in an organized fashion, so if you want to set up an appointment with him call Hampton Subway headquarters in Hampton Bays and ask to speak to Karen, who is serving as his secretary. He is making himself available every afternoon Monday to Friday between 3 and 5. OUR CHRISTMAS PARTY That was quite an affair we had in the cafeteria at subway headquarters in Hampton Bays last night. About 100 employees attended. It’s not often you see our commissioner Bill Aspinall running around without any clothes on. But he certainly is a fine specimen of a man. A robbery apparently took place while the party was going
(continued from page 14)
Perelman collapsed. * * * The South Fork may be seeing more of East Hampton’s Jon Bon Jovi next summer. The singer announced last week that his band will be going on hiatus after its current world tour ends in July.
* * * Montauk resident and “Sex and the City� star Cynthia Nixon might also be spending more time in the Hamptons after canceling plans to move to London to star in her first West End play. As Bees in Honey Drown was shut down due to financial difficulties.
(continued on page 30)
The Holidays are for
Giving... Not Gaining Take $2000 OFF the Cybex 750DA Arc Trainer or $1000 OFF the True ES900 Treadmill or ESXT Elliptical*
Freed OF PG P iPVSDa IBTF DUFE
XJUI QUIFTF TFMF PG JUFNT*
New York City & OE 4U
212.688.4222 Southampton 8JOENJMM -O
631.287.1223
(:.4063$& $0.
(:. 4063$&
Serious Equipment. Serious Service. 0GG .431 /PU UP CF DPNCJOFE XJUI BOZ PUIFS PGGFS J1BE XJMM CF BXBSEFE BU UJNF PG EFMJWFSZ BOE BSF OPO SFUVSOBCMF "OZ SFUVSOFE JUFNT XJMM CF DSFEJUFE MFTT .431 PG UIF "QQMF J1BE 4BMF FOET *O TUPDL SFTJEFOUJBM JUFNT POMZ
"; t $5 t '- t ." t .% t /) t /+ t /: t 1" t 3* t 7" 1330030
1329674