Dan’s Papers November 5, 2010 danshamptons.com P age 14
Angry
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rently elected because our home prices ha ve not doubled in value recently . Whoever is in MUST GO OUT , I’m mad! I’m as angry as they get. I can’t live like this anymore . Being born into one of the greatest societies on earth only made me more angry. And where do I start with the 7-Eleven that just opened up in Montauk? I’m actually afraid to write about it now as some people in Montauk have become so militantly angry about the 7-Eleven I’m surprised that no one has taken up arms yet. HOW DARE THEY put a 24 hour convenience store in a village that so obviously needs it? HOW DARE THEY! I’m so angry , I must make myself heard wherever I go. And don’t even get me started on illegal immigrants. Obviously, we cannot reac h out
Jaguars
to them in any w ay. There is no w ay that I’m going to offer up a jac ket for the cold winter weather coming, this is America, I’m angry and it makes me feel good and I’m bonding with other angry people! Isn’t this suc h fun? And we’re mad that it’ s cold outside. HOW DARE they make it this cold outside! It’ s THEIR fault. Even the Homework Club in East Hampton is under attack, and to be honest, this writer genuinely can’t believe that the East Hampton Town Board is shutting down a program that gets kids to do their homework after school, but a calm disagreement just isn’t exciting anymore . Instead, let’s get so angry about it, let’s send an 11-year old boy into the justice building to plead the case . We must also become angry in
Southampton. After all, there has been fighting among some of the kids who go to sc hool there, and in the history of the sc hool, fighting has never happened between kids. This is a first. At a meeting about the issue two weeks ago, the school principal became so stressed out that he actually collapsed and passed out, the paramedics had to be called and he had to be taken to the hospital. This was right after several of the parents in the room were yelling at him and a picture of an angry parent ran on the pages of the local newspaper. ANGER! ANGER! ANGER! Let’s keep it angry , folks. It seems to be doing us all a whole lot of good, from our little villages on the East End, to the halls of Congress in Washington.
dent of Belize w as attacked and killed by a jaguar, which is, as of this writing, still at large. I was in Belize about four years ago. The country is proud of its jaguars. There is even a national park where you go to visit them,and, of course, stay in the busses. Actually you no longer stay in the busses. Truth is that after 100 years of observing these magnificent creatures , there simply are no more. They went extinct. I visited the Belize Jaguar Reserve. We went in on foot. No jaguars. Lots of other things, but no jaguars. This jaguar? After 20 years of ha ving no more
jaguars, the government decided to buy a jaguar from somewhere else and keep him confined as an exhibit so people could see what the place must have looked like before the jaguars went extinct. Well, the jaguar, excitable after being captured, broke free from his cage during the night and disappeared into the jungle . The next day, he emerged and killed somebody , possibly feasted on him, then returned into the jungle. He remains at large. When the authorities find him, of course, they will shoot him.
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ed to see them, color and spectacle that is beyond measure, with such material imported from Japan, India, the South Pacific, Central America, Europe, Africa and everywhere else . The Hamptons is a spectacle of goodness everywhere. Who would want it any other way? Well perhaps the fish is who , the other sea life , and the creatures who live underground. So get these percentages , divide it up, and by taxation bring to bear the cost of the c leanup to those who cause it. That’s my view. In a related matter , I read toda y that a resi-