Dan's Papers Aug. 22, 2008

Page 116

DAN'S PAPERS, August 22, 2008 Page 115 www.danshamptons.com

Sports/Outdoors

A Rant on the SUV, Lotus, and Wagon Master America really needs is a Chrysler Minivan Lite. All of the big stuff blocking America’s arteries should be given a large dose of industrial Lipitor. If we lighten up all vehicles, not only minivans and SUVs, we can then power them with smaller engines that will get better fuel mileage. Speaking of Lotus, the current Lotus offering here in America is the Elise sports car. This vehicle has a highly creative and radical bonded aluminum frame that makes this featherweight car tip the scales at only 2,000 pounds. Powered by a very small four-cylinder Toyota engine of 190 horsepower, this diminutive lightweight is as fast as a heavier 400 horsepower Corvette. One of the minivans I was stuck behind in traffic was a Honda Odyssey, which as vans go, is one of the best. Desperately wanting to see over the thing, I thought to myself how cool it would be to chop and channel that tall wall of China, er, Japan, with a tailgate. To those of you out there who are not familiar with the expression, “to chop and channel a car”, which means to take a lengthwise section out of the entire bottom and top of the vehicle and make it look lower. This radical surgery was quite commonly done with hot rods of the 50s. They were also nosed and decked with frenched head and taillights, but that’s a whole other story. However, imagine chopping and channeling all of the overly large SUVs and minivans in the world. Holy cow, do you know what would happen? They would turn into station wagons! Until the advent of the minivan, station wagons were always the vehicles of choice for the family truckEvie Salomon

Recently I was stuck in traffic in my Mini, surrounded by a wall of minivans and SUVs and I thought to myself, “what a wall of waste.” I was doing a slow burn because since the advent of these types of vehicles, my driving enjoyment has been slightly diminished. These vehicles literally block the view of any driver who is in a normal sized car, let alone a Mini. Also, these overweight, oversized pieces of sheet metal are one of the main reasons America is dependent on importing so much fuel oil. It may sound radical, but I would bet that if all minivans and SUVs were banished from the highways of America, there would probably be no more fuel crisis and prices would go down. Now, before all you van and SUV drivers out there start sending me hate e-mails, let me explain that I really like the idea of the SUV and minivan craze, I just don’t like the design concepts behind them. I understand that a lot of families need a large familysized vehicle and the SUV has gobs of macho appeal as a go-anywhere truckette. The problem is that over the last decade, all these vehicles have gotten heavier, wider, taller and yes, considerably more expensive and luxurious. As you owners know, at today’s gas prices, vehicles are quite expensive to run; the average full size SUV or van gets about 12 mpg in the city and, if you’re lucky, maybe 20 mpg on the highway. The late Collin Chapman was the creator of the Lotus Automobile Company and one of the most prolific racecar designers of the 20th century. His most famous quote about his car designs was, “add lightness.” Designing lightweight racecars made his faster than other racecars of the era. As an added bonus, it also gave them better fuel consumption. What

ster. I personally have a warm spot in my heart for the old wooden station wagons of the ‘50s. In fact, I used to collect them and owned several. They reminded me both inside and out, of beautiful yachts. Ford called itself the “Wagon Master” and built and sold most of the popular “Woodies” of the era. Every American manufacturer built them, and when they went from real wood to plastic faux wood, it was a sad day. However, even the phony wood wagons had the right “look” and they are becoming quite collectible. I definitely believe that there will be a resurgence of station wagon popularity. Now, if only somebody would build one with real wood sides. Actually, removing a lot of extraneous metal from these fatty minivans and SUVs could make them lighter. Like the Lotus sports car design, there are also many alternate ways to design lighter major automotive components out of aluminum and plastic. The primary way to make a car more fuel-efficient is to make it lighter and smaller. There are quite a few minivans, like the French Renault Espace, which is produced everywhere in the world but here. They get excellent fuel mileage. Of course they are lighter and just a little smaller than those sold here. Also, virtually every large SUV that is marketed here and sold overseas has an option of a diesel engine. In England, where fuel is almost $10.00 per gallon, very few buyers opt for a Range Rovers with a big V-8 gas engine. Obviously, the only place gasoline-powered Range Rovers and Mercedes Glendewagons are huge sellers is in Dubai. Good advice for everybody, lighten up.

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