DAN’S PAPERS
START HERE
If you don’t start here, then you’re not really
1.
WHICH IS WORSE? 5.
See Page 39 a. Mist b. Drizzle c. Pitter Patter d. Downpour e. Raining Cats and Dogs f. House Blew Away
2.
a. b. c. d.
danshamptons.com
starting where you’re supposed to start.
7.
See Page 68
Who will be at the Artists &Writers Celebrity Softball game?
Dan Rattiner Alec Baldwin Michael Feuerstein David Rattiner
@RyanLochte: Had some ups and downs this Olympics but bringing 5 Olympic medals back to #USA now time to cheer for #USA #Jeah
See Page 43
@MichaelPhelps: I can’t thank my friends and family enough for coming to London to support!!! Love u all some much!
NO HIPSTERS
a game
Stickers as shown above have begun appearing in the windows of some nightclubs in Montauk. Why they would target Dan’s Papers, or, in particular, me, I don’t know. What do they have against us? This is the most flagrant violation of civil rights ever, since the two of us represent the smallest minority imaginable in America. I think it’s against the law. On Sunday, an article about the stickers appeared in the New York Times. According to the Times, this sticker is not to keep me out, but to keep “Hipsters,” identically dressed counterculture twentysomethings who wear, among other things, a hat like mine, out. So this is not about Dan’s Papers. We’ll need a notarized letter informing us of that.
a. Badminton b. Very Badminton c. Very, very Badminton d. Very, very, very Badminton e. Pretty Good Minton
Twitter, the Olympics and rules of etiquette:
8.
a. b. c. d.
What to do when you’re bamboozled? Make bamboo fishing rods Play “Escape from Bamboo Island” Watch “Friends” Fashion a bamboo garbage picker-upper
See Page 69
Page 24 August 10, 2012
-- DR
Low fat, low cholesterol and…delicious? See Page 73
3.
4.
who’s here? A real
6
What sport will be in the 2016 Olympics?
9
holidays in AUGUST THAT you may not have heard of
See Page 70
See Page 41
a. Quidditch b. Golf c. Potato Sack Races d. Channel Surfing
Aug 11 pickup truck day Aug 12 green dress day Aug 13 sunglasses indoors day
estate rock-star! See Page 63