Dan’s Papers June 24, 2011 danshamptons.com Page 30
Big Duck
(continued from page 25)
in and out and buy eggs and ducks.â€? “I think you’d get pretty hollow inside if this woman who was supposed to be a friend told you these lies over and over.â€? “But people have gone inside?â€? “Not on my watch. Nope. I’m a duck.â€? “But a big duck.â€? “Yes. There are big ducks and little ducks. Just like with you people there are giants and dwarves. How tall are you?â€? “Five ten.â€? “So you’re middle-sized. Well I’m big.â€? “You know, back in the 1930s when you were built‌â€? “Born.â€? “When you were born, there were all sorts
of giant statues of different sorts out along the highways, especially in California. They were meant to attract people to shops and restaurants as a form of advertising. Giant hot dogs. Giant strawberries. Giant coffee pots.� “That has nothing to do with me.� “What has been your favorite time during these years?� “Well, it has to be Christmas, of course. And then there was that big parade.� “Parade?� “In 1987, after Mrs. And Mrs. Maurer died, a developer bought the farm and announced he was going to drive roads through and build a housing development here. He wanted me off the property. The developer said nobody would
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buy lots if people were going to look out their windows and see me every day. I don’t know why. They thought I was some kind of freak. Like I would freak them out or something.� “You are quite something.� “So then, you know what happened? The County bought me and one day moved me three miles down the road in a big parade, baton twirlers, marching bands, Mayors and County Supervisors and everybody, to the entrance to the Sears-Bellows County Park. And they put me there.� “But you’re not still there.� “No. The State came in and told the developer to get lost. The development was on endangered wetlands. He went bust.� “So then they moved you back.� “Yup. Another big parade. That was in 2004.� “People tell me there was a time, about 20 years ago, when super model Christie Brinkley broadcast the story of the Big Duck from a lowpowered radio station in a shed just behind you. You could drive toward the duck and when you got within a mile, coming from either direction, you could hear her tell the story.� “Are you asking a question?� “Did you ever meet her?� “That was a big disappointment to me. I’d heard she was going to do this and I was really excited to get to meet her. But in the end, she never came. Some County workers brought a cassette player and a tape. So that’s what was in the little radio station here. It was just her voice. They had it broadcasting over and over until I was just so sick of it. Even though it was her. Then, finally, after a year, they took it away.� “Were there other disappointments?� “No. Just that one. That was the only disappointment.� “Do you remember much about your growing up?� “Oh yes. I have a photographic memory.� “Care to tell me about it?� “Well, there was the Great Depression. Then there was World War II, then the Cold War. I remember when Franklin Roosevelt was President. And Harry Truman.� “Do you remember when Herbert Hoover was President?� “I was too young. But I’m told he stopped in.� “Did he buy anything?� “What?� “Buy anything?� “How could he buy anything? He smiled, bent down, said I was a cute little tyke and he patted me on the head.� “That was it?� “Then I remember Korea and Vietnam and the moon landing and President Reagan. Nice man, him.� “How do you know about all of this?� “I talk with the other ducks. They fly south. They are worldly wise. They come back and tell me things. That’s another thing I found to be a great disappointment.� “What’s that?� “I can’t fly. I’ve tried. It just doesn’t work and I don’t know why. Some kind of disability I think. But you know, you learn to live with these things.� “People say you have the most beautiful eyes.� (continued on page 36)