Dan’s Papers April 8, 2011 danshamptons.com Page 29
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Week of April 8 - 14, 2011 Riders this week: 9,544 Rider miles this week: 80,423 NO NEWSLETTER LAST WEEK Last week’s newsletter, written and ready for printing, was eaten in its entirety, along with its backups, by our Big Burp Server, which malfunctioned after catching a virus. Rather than reconstruct it, we skipped a week. DOWN IN THE TUBE Christie Brinkley, all dolled up to look like Roxie Hart in the Broadway show Chicago was seen heading for rehearsal westbound on the subway train out of Bridgehampton last Friday humming a tune. She opens on Broadway in that part on April 8. SOUTHAMPTON SUBWAY TOKEN BOOTH CLOSED NEXT WEEK The U. S. Department of Transportation has sent engineers to all the platforms on the Subway system and has determined that with the obesity problem rampant in America today, the old token booths, built in the 1930s, do not allow the token booth operators enough personal space and so they have to be replaced with a larger one. The first one to be torn down and replaced with a larger one will be at Southampton, and so from April 12-15, be sure to
have all the tokens you need for your trip that day as the booth will not be there. Dates for future token booth expansions will be announced shortly, and set up on a staggered basis in order to cause the least disruption. MOTORMAN FRED JOHNSON NOMINATED TO BE OFFICIAL U. S. POET LAUREATE. As many of you know, Motorman Fred Johnson keeps a diary of his day driving his subway car up and around the system on his shift. He has been doing this for years, putting down his thoughts and hopes and dreams. Last week, Agnes Hallopeen, who works in the maintenance department, decided after reading Mr. Johnson’s latest entries that she should nominate him as an entrant in this year’s official United States Poet Laureate competition. “I have never before been moved by poetry, but this is different,” she said. “There is such power, rhythm, finality and emotion in these works. The world should see them.” Here is a sample of Motorman Johnson’s diary. October 14, 2007 Left yard at Montauk at 7:14. Sunrise. Diving down into the earth, 7:22. Amagansett, 7:34. Nobody there. Arrived East Hampton 7:41.
Man with a big dog. Told him No. Left East Hampton 7:43. Picking up speed. Long straight pull toward Sag Harbor 7:45. Arrived Sag Harbor 8:01. Sipping my hot black coffee. Left Sag Harbor 8:04. Full house. 8:05, rounding turn at Trout Pond. Bats flying along accompanying me. Flapping their wings, flap, flap, flap. Messengers of the sky, or the ceiling anyway. 8:08. Hello, bats. Hello. Hello. Bats. 8:22 arrive Noyac. THAT INCIDENT IN OUR CAFETERIA On Monday morning, the dieticians in the company cafeteria in Hampton Subway Headquarters in Hampton Bays opened with their new menu. Gone were the waffles and popovers, the greasy fried breakfast buns, the sausages and grits, the morning malted and shakes. In were the fruit cups, the yogurt, the sliced fruit, the hot green tea and the Special K cereals. It did not go well. Unfortunately, the melee and the food fight spilled out onto the street so that all of Hampton Bays was soon able to see our employees fighting this change. Four people were arrested, the bagel place next door had its plate glass window broken and several cars slid on the food on Ponquogue Avenue and hit trees. Three were taken to the hospital. Three police officers were pelted with Twinkies and taken to the hospital. Two employees who apparently instigated this incident were fired. We will name them next week after their families are notified. (continued on page 31)
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