dans’ Papers
danshamptons.com
LETTERS CRAB OF THE WEEK Dear Dan, Former President Bill Clinton and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s daughter Chelsea Clinton, like former President George Bush’s daughter Jenna Bush, did not obtain her job as an “NBC Nightly News” full-time correspondent by responding to a help wanted ad in The New York Times. “Neighbor Chelsea Clinton Journalist” (Nanci E. LaGarenne – March 23). Surely there are hundreds if not thousands of better-qualified legitimate reporters with real journalism credentials available to fill these positions. No outcry from the Wall Street protestors and other “politically correct” liberals of how the “1%” are now taking away jobs from the other “99%”! I have over two decades plus of experience as a seasoned Letters to the Editor writer for Dan’s Papers. My submissions have been found worthy enough to be published on several hundred occasions discussing numerous local, state, national and international issues. I don’t have famous parents to help me get ahead. They were just a simple teacher and housewife. How can I join Chelsea and sign up as a fellow “NBC Nightly News” correspondent? Dan, I was wondering if you could use your influence and provide me with a letter of introduction or recommendation to “NBC Nightly News” Anchor Brian Williams? Sincerely, Larry Penner Great Neck You have to have been foaled by a Presidential spouse. Sorry. –DR CALL FOR DAN’S PAPERS! Dear Dan, Here in Ronkonkoma Dan’s Papers are not as available as on the East End. However, I was given a recent copy and enjoyed reading your article about the windmills. In it you mentioned one that had been moved from Shelter Island. Our small group has biked on Shelter Island many times over the years. But on our hike on January 8, of this year, we spotted an old windmill. This was made possible because of the recent removal of an invasive vine called Asiatic Bittersweet in the Mashomack Preserve. Its location is south of the large field at the trail intersection marked “F” on the Preserve map. I cannot believe that we never saw it before as we passed there many times in the past. I just thought I would let you know in case you didn’t know already. Rich Hollmann Ronkonkoma Wait til bamboo leaps across to Shelter Island. –DR FLY AMERICAN… Dear Dan, I would like to let you know how much I enjoy Dan’s Papers. I obtain a number of copies (about 25), each week from King Kullen here in Syosett, Manhattan and Port Washington and distribute them to 10 different neighbors, five fellow flight attendants, including my supervisor, two cousins, one bank teller and two garage mechanics, keeping several for myself in my flight bag to distribute to interested business travelers. I fly for American Airlines at JFK Airport, with turn-around flights to the Dominican Republic and sometimes to Haiti. I recently left a copy of Dan’s Papers with the Concierge at the Hotel Gran Almirante in Santiago when we had a layover there. Everyone truly enjoys Dan’s Papers and I enjoy giving it to them. Thanking you so very much for the wonderful and informative publication. Keep up the good work and enjoy your new office in
April 6, 2012 Page 51
Send your letters to
Southampton. My best to you, family and staff… Audrey Lavin Syosett We’ve had people sending us photos of themselves in Antarctica –DR HELLO KITTY Dear Dan, I wanted to write you to let you know how much I enjoyed your article “My Cat The Dog” in a recent issue. I cannot agree with you more that cats are underrated! I am the Founder and President of L.I. Kitties, Inc. a 501 c3 non-profit cat and kitten rescue based in Speonk. We have rescued and placed close to 700 cats and kittens. I run an ad in your paper every week to try to find homes for all my rescued kittens and cats. In this economy, this task is becoming more and more difficult. If you are ever interested in adopting another feline friend, I currently have many that are still waiting for homes and so many more I want to help, but can’t until some of the ones I have are adopted. Visit my website for more information on my organization: www.likitties.com Again, thank you for writing such an insightful article. Sincerely, Sharon Ippolito President, LI Kitties, Inc. We can’t give up our cat Hank –DR APRIL FOOL Dear Dan, With April 1 right behind us, it appears that the meat industry is playing us as April Fools by hiding its violations of humane and sanitary laws. Under intense pressure from the meat lobby, Iowa and Utah have enacted the infamous “ag-gag” laws that criminalize taking or possessing photographs and videotapes documenting the atrocious treatment of animals in factory farms and slaughterhouses. Six
askdan@danspapers.com (e-mails only, please) other state legislatures (Illinois, Indiana, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, and New York) have been considering such legislation. As these bills were being debated, the head of the World Health Organization forecast the “end of modern medicine,” unless the meat industry stops its wholesale use of antibiotics. Industry uses these drugs to ensure that animals survive the extreme crowding of factory farms. Each of us has a choice to make on the next trip to the local supermarket. We can continue to subsidize the inhumane and unsanitary conditions hidden by the meat industry and condemned by the World Health Organization. Or, we can elect a wholesome nonviolent diet of vegetables, fruits, and grains recommended by leading health authorities. Sincerely, Brian Williams Stonington, CT I can see Burger King from our new offices. –DR COOKIES Dear Dan, I have read the article about Montauk’s Cookies in the March 23 issue, and there is something I’d like to add to your research. There is a cookie made in East Hampton under the name “COOKIE FRUIT.” I started the business as mail order but for lack of funds and a divorce I decided to stop making them. There was an article in The Star many years ago that read “is it a cookie or a fruit,” yes it is kind of confusing because who is going to use such a name for a cookie...a cookie filled with high quality fruit preserves. Juan Torres Amagansett Send over the cookies. –DR
Police Blotter Batman? Police were called in East Hampton after somebody was spotted on the roof of a pharmacy, jumping around. When officers responded to the scene, the dark figure mysteriously was gone. Peter Beard Peter Beard’s property in Montauk was the subject of a police report last week when a woman walked on the property claiming to be an old friend of his. When the property manager told her that she had to leave, she did, but police were called because Beard has made it clear to the woman that he does not want her contacting him anymore. Granted, this really isn’t that exciting of a report, I just really like hearing the name Peter Beard in my head. It’s one of those names that sounds both manly and poetic at the same time. Like Max Powers. Offensive Sign Somebody called police to report an offensive sign during the Occupy Sag Harbor protests last week. Apparently, nobody likes it when you hold up a sign that offends people. Shelter Island Old Man McGumbus, 107 years old and former
World War II knife combat specialist, was arrested last week after Susie McBisquick, former Chief Executive of Marketing and Strategy for the Shelter Island Radio Station had him arrested. McBisquick, who has called police 246 times since January, claimed that McGumbus was harassing her while she was shopping for cat food for the 14 cats that live in her house. She claims that McGumbus sexually assaulted her while he was walking by her in the grocery store while buying his weekly supply of bacon and pork rinds. McGumbus denies the charges stating, “I wouldn’t touch that woman with a 10-foot pole, she’s like a walking pile of rotten cheese.” McGumbus was released on his own recognizance. High Speeding Idiot Police in Quogue were sent on a wild ride after a Calverton man led them on a high-speed chase that ultimately ended up with a collision into a tree. The man failed to pull over after he was caught speeding and led officers on not just a car chase, but also a foot chase. The man was arrested and charged with multiple offences. Tune into the next episode of “COPS” to see this one. –David Lion Rattiner