DAN'S PAPERS, April 4, 2008 Page 38 www.danshamptons.com
Another Drink, Please By Karma Hope Displaying a love for his dog, diving and alcohol consumption, David Stoll leaves little to the imagination regarding his hatred of all else. He quite adamantly describes his dislike of children, most women (lesbians in particular), and bad drivers (again, mostly women). The good news — Stoll is indiscriminate in his distribution of criticism and well-aimed jabs, including himself. There is nothing sacred enough to avoid the sharp edge of his haughty opinions. The social, religious and cultural groups not included in his pessimistic reverie can only be accounted for by the assumption he does not personally know someone from those groups. The reader will laugh out loud, regardless of location, at the witty and irreverent observations. Stoll makes no secret of his distaste for children, describing them in terms most mothers would find offensive yet some fathers may agree with, but only in private and away from their wives. Even children he is related to don’t escape the disapproving stroke of his pen. One would wonder whether Stoll would like the human race to continue or just end with his own perfection and well-developed sense of self. The only time the reader is met with any sense of warmth from the author is when he
is describing his dog and diving. Pete is Stoll’s golden retriever. When describing the exact motions with which Pete removes the water from his fur after swimming, the reader is clearly transported to the world of tenderness and affection that manages to survive in the cold terrain of Stoll’s heart. He devotes a chapter to the activities of his dog, from urinary habits and sleeping patterns to the exact look in his eyes when he sees a ball pass before him. The other positive tone mentioned in this book is diving. Stoll speaks in almost hushed tones regarding his joy of diving, transporting the reader to his underwater world and taking them on a journey to see barracudas, sharks and the magnificence of a coral reef. Aiming most of his sarcasm at himself, Stoll explores his own floundering experiences as a
well-paid lawyer to unpaid real estate broker, and eventually on to happy writer. The reader gets an in-depth look at the difficulty he had selling his home in the Hamptons and how through poverty and near bankruptcy, he managed to keep his sense of humor firmly intact. His sense of humor, albeit often rude and impertinent, gives this book its charm and likeability. Although Stoll lashes out in all directions, the reader is quite aware that he doesn’t really have a mean bone in his body, or at least not as many as he professes to have. Stoll devotes an entire chapter to his discovery of his gayness and a detailed log of his sexual exploits. Avoiding outright crass descriptions, Stoll still manages to give the reader a little too much information regarding gay sex. Although it’s slightly interesting to know that a professed “bottom” is always a “bottom,” most readers do not really want to know this information. One has to wonder for which audience Stoll is aiming. It is apparent that Stoll has a near worshipful relationship with alcohol, vodka most notably. Adamantly claiming he is not an alcoholic, Stoll is unable to tell a single story that does not involve imbibing of some nature. He appears to be embalming himself while still alive and avoiding death appears to be his intended goal. He also strongly advocates smoking, a complete lack of physical exercise, and one night stands, as if these are the antideath apparatus that doctors have not yet discovered. On the back cover a warning is clearly issued — “Warning: this book is inappropriate for children, the author’s parents and the humorless.” This is well-positioned counsel and should be taken at full face value. The humor part being the most essential ingredient to enjoying this book. Well that and the ability not to take one’s self very seriously. Even his family may find a way to enjoy his anecdotes if they refuse to take Stoll seriously. This reviewer found it impossible to take the author seriously and was thus able to completely enjoy the profane and boorish journey Stoll creates with charm and occasional warmth. The author possesses a gifted way with words and leaves everyone scathed so as not to offend any one group individually. This is not meant to offend and I feel sure that Stoll himself will appreciate this observation — this is a perfect lavatory book. No bathroom should be without it.