DAN'S PAPERS, March 27, 2009 Page 50 www.danshamptons.com
e-mail Dan at askdan@danspapers.com
Letters A POTATO DAWN? Dear Dan, Over the years, I’ve been amused by the content of your paper, particularly your tales. However, in the January 30, 2009 issue, the fictional anecdote titled, “Potato Dawn” has nettled me. The current state of the economy and its victims are not subjects to jeer or dramatize. Satirizing the ordeal and its adversities is unsavory. The triggering financial calamities are affecting nearly every man, woman, and child – some more severely than others. And, as your fable alludes, a multitude of individuals who were comfortable as recent as a year ago have fallen through reversals of fortunes. There are those who not only have lost their “McMansions,” but also no longer have a bed to sleep in. And that is not a laughing matter. In fact, your vignette, which, seemingly, aims to ridicule and disrespect the wealthy Hampton summer vacationers, unwittingly derides every person or business that is under the unfavorable spell of the economic crisis, including your paper. In my opinion, and I do believe the majority of your readers may endorse it, taunting anyone middleclass, wealthy, or otherwise who have encountered difficult circumstances is in poor taste, an abhorrence. Moreover, the very people who had developed the Hamptons region and built expansive, multi-million dollar homes are the same “millionaires” who, through their lavish spending in your community, have been feeding the local economy. If they retrench from the Hamptons and spend their money elsewhere, the indigenous population might have to return to hunting and fishing for their staples. The hamlets would become insolvent, for the property tax roll would diminish substantially. Can you picture yourself clad in pelts of fur, wearing a Daniel Boone instead of your signature hats, and hunting in North West Woods for your meats? And, more to the point, over the past 50 years, if the rich tourists had not infested your townships, Dan’s Papers might not have survived, and the multi-million dollar sale of your publication could not have materialized nor contemplated. Without the vacationers, who are the principal readers of your periodical, you’d be preaching in the desert; it is a fact that the locals refuse to read it, even if you were to pay them. Perhaps, 50 years ago, instead of having had the wonderful opportunity of founding the paper and gaining a measure of prosperity and fame, you might’ve had to
venture in some Bonacker-oriented activity, like clamming. And in the same fashion that the native residents have boycotted Dan’s Papers, there are numerous entities in the Hamptons that could not exist in the absence of the McMansioneers. (Now that’s a new term). As I began reading your mockery, appalled, I asked myself, how is it possible for a person, a journalist, a writer, who has consistently demonstrated sound sense and rationality, to suddenly lapse into a state of insensibility? Maybe, I figured, it must’ve been a moment of distress caused by colliding fiscal pressures – pressures that are disquieting everyone, possibly even you. There is an upshot to your villainous fantasy though: The illegals would vanish, and English would reemerge as the primary language. Then, when you’d shop in a locality and inquire about a product, instead of getting a blank, gaping stare, as if you’re the loco Americano, you would get an informative response. A refreshing change. Incidentally, lest the insensitivity and contemptuous degrading of the “Potato Dawn,” I was entertained by it, and in my judgment, your literary endeavors as a novelist appear to be quite promising. I encourage and support your efforts in that pursuit, but discretion should always be the fundamental tenet of an essayist. I hope I’m not preaching in the desert or, in this instance, on a potato farm. George B. Nichols, Via e-mail I do think we are all in a very difficult time. Maybe it was over the edge. A lapse. A peccadillo of frustration. I apologize. – DR DUNCAN DOUBTS Dear Dan, This is a very late notification of an inaccurate historical reference you made in the August 31, 2007 edition of Dan’s Papers. It is late because we, two regular readers, have just now known the true facts of the reference. The feature article in the paper that week was “Motorists Try to Drive Across the Shakiest Bridge
on the East End.” The article’s intent was to describe the dangers of driving over a particular, decrepit, old wooden bridge in Amagansett. You implied that only people with a taste for risky ventures should attempt a crossing of this still-in-use bridge. Since that description fits my friend and me, we made the attempt, and thank God, crossed the bridge in our cars and made it without mishap! We should mention that before our crossing, we examined the bridge’s structure carefully. The danger was there, and the risk was real, so in retrospect, we want to commend you for bringing the structural problems of the bridge to the public’s attention. But, inexplicably, you highlighted your story with the statements that this bridge is the place where world famous dancer, Isadora Duncan, lost her life when the long scarf she was wearing got caught in one of the wheels of her car, a Miati, snapping her neck and killing her. And you state that this terrible incident took place in 1928. As long time readers, we took your information at face value. BUT THE FACTS ARE: Isadora Duncan died in that tragic scarf accident in 1927,and the accident took place in Nice France. And the car was a Bugatti. We hate to dwell on the morbid and tragic nature of her death, but the entire readership of Dan’s Papers is ill served by such careless reporting. As said above, my friend and I made the trip to Amagansett, crossed the bridge, took pictures, and told everyone of the sad, romantic story of Isadora and her scarf, and we told of the sorrow of standing there in the very spot where she died. But recently, we came across the true facts of how, when, and where Isadora Duncan lost her life. These facts have always been available on the Internet. TWO QUESTIONS: 1. Mr. Rattiner, how did you get it so wrong? 2. Did you print a correction to what was surely a major embarrassment to Dan’s Papers? Al Burrelli Ken Farrell Via e-mail One school of thought says she died in France in 1927. Another school says she survived that but died in a similar accident in Amagansett in 1928. – DR
Police Blotter Not Such a Great Getaway A man in East Hampton reported to police that his all terrain vehicle (ATV), valued at around $2,000, was nearly stolen. The man explained that somebody took the vehicle from where it was and attempted to start it, but wasn’t having any luck, so he dragged the ATV back to its original location and went on his way. Fell Off a Bus A young teenager fell out the window of a bus traveling in Montauk. The bus was a luxury bus, and the young teenager and a group of friends were on the bus, allegedly drinking and underage. The boy fell out of the bus and was sent to the hospital via helicopter. How exactly somebody can fall out of the window a bus is under investigation, but one thing is for sure, there are a lot of people who are going to get in a lot of trouble.
Madoff Bernie Madoff, right now, at this very moment, is rotting away in a prison cell. Isn’t that just so great? He may figure out some way to get out through some legal bologna, but isn’t great?
Bridgehampton Three Bridgehampton young men were arrested for breaking into a residence around midnight and assaulting a male who lives there. All three were arrested after another resident called police.
Arm Twist A man in East Hampton was arrested by police for physical harassment after he was found to be twisting the arm of his victim, who pressed charges. In other news, a man from Wainscott was arrested after he gave what was described as a “purple nurple,” which is where the chest area of a victim is twisted.
Moving Cigarettes A man from Hampton Bays who is a former NYPD officer was charged with illegally selling cigarettes across states and cheating on $600,000 of sales tax. He is pleading not guilty.
$900 Wallet Stolen A woman in Wainscott reported to police that her wallet containing $1,000 in cash had been stolen. The wallet itself, a Goyard, is worth $900. Police are investigating the incident.
Not So Safe A man in Southampton was seen by residents doing back flips off the top of cars. When one resident asked him to stop because it was dangerous, the man gave him the finger. The resident threatened to call police, and the flipping man who flipped the bird took off. No injuries, reports or - David Lion Rattiner arrests were made