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DAN’S PAPERS
March 14, 2014 Page 27
Cleansing Your Spirit for Springtime By kelly laffey
A friend asked last week, “Is this coming daylight saving that good one or the bad one?” “The good one!” I responded, as someone else replied with the opposite assertion. On Sunday, we lost an hour. We overslept and then fell asleep before we got everything we needed to get done, done. But the sun set an hour later than it did on Saturday. And because of that, I maintain that spring daylight savings is the most underrated day of the year. Another sign of spring—Ash Wednesday was last week, signifying the start of Lent. In observing the Lenten season, it’s Christian tradition to either give something up or to add something meaningful to your life. But, I know quite a few secular people who observe the tradition of Lent as well. Lent provides a finite period of time to attempt to better yourself, and anyone can get on board with that. This year, I’m going with the “add”—to add organization to my life. And, as a side cleanse that will drastically improve office relations, I’m also going to give up making fun of New Jersey. Though I tell jokes in jest, I think that Dan’s Papers art director Tina Guiomar will appreciate the effort. It’s a New York thing; and if we want people to stop telling us that Long Island wine belongs in a waste treatment plant (we didn’t forget, Netflix), we have to first pay it forward. As a community, there are quite a few things that East Enders should give up over the 40 days: 1. Complaining about the weather 2. Complaining about traffic 3. Making excuses for not going to the gym 4. Thinking about going to yoga class 5. Talking about going to a spin class 6. Talking instead of doing 7. Pretending you go to Montauk much more than you do 8. Forgetting that there are hiking trails in Montauk 9. Facebook stalking 10. Posting photos solely to count how many people “like” them 11. Refreshing a website more times than you take a refreshing walk outside 12. Thinking that all carbs are the enemy 13. Not setting goals 14. Re-reading an email too many times before you hit Send 15. Not re-reading an email enough times before you hit Send 16. Telling people that the East End is Red Sox territory 17. Not going to a local winery on the weekend 18. Engaging in misguided arguments in the comment section of internet articles 19. Bad grammar 20. Spelling Hamptons “Hampton’s”
21. Cutting people off while driving 22. Not driving 35 mph on CR-39 23. Pretending that Hampton Road is two lanes in each direction 25. Spelling Southampton “South Hampton” 26. Calling Bridgehampton “Bridge” 27. Grocery shopping the Friday before a holiday weekend 28. Not using blinkers 29. Referring to the summer as “The 100 Day War” 30. Refusing to go into the city during the summer months 31. Pretending that you don’t ever need a break. 32. Not going to the beach in the winter
33. Using electronics on the beach 34. Putting the air conditioner up so high that if it was actually that cold outside, you’d put on the heat 35. Not cooking at home 36. Thinking that going out is always better than staying in 37. Spending a sunny day at the movies 38. Pretending you’ve heard about that band/ artist/author that you haven’t 39. Not being spontaneous 40. Being embarrassed What time is it? I’ve put in a full workday, and it’s still light enough to go for a run? Don’t mind if I do…
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