DAN'S PAPERS, March 13, 2009 Page 26 www.danshamptons.com
The Sheltered Islander First Lady is the highest unpaid job in this country. How unfair. These women should be remunerated for all that they do. In addition to being scrutinized for every domestic change they make in the White House and having their parenting styles micromanaged by the public, they have to give White House tours to guests and oversee State dinners; lecture on their husband’s policies (whether they agree with him or not); appear on talk shows — all while maintaining a perfect face and figure or suffer the wrath of merciless comics and political satirists. It started with Eleanor Roosevelt, who is one of
my personal heroes along with Mother Theresa and the founder of Lane Bryant. Eleanor was an old soul, full of compassion, wisdom and humility. She was also overweight with an unattractive face — weak chin, substantial overbite, crooked teeth. She’d never make it as a political wife for any ambitious man today, and certainly would be a liability to any man running for president. But what a loss this nation would have suffered without the woman who made it possible for the black Tuskegee Airmen to serve their country in battle in WWII and become the most decorated flight unit in our history. She used the throwaway job assigned to her to represent the U.S. in the new United Nations to author the
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First Ladies
By Sally Flynn
Human Rights Amendment that still stands as the moral compass, guiding the actions of many nations and compelling them to unite for a common good. What would we have lost if Eleanor stayed home like all her predecessors? On the other hand, her aunt by marriage, Mrs. Teddy Roosevelt, had no public duties at all and was, in fact, “just a housewife.” There’s a famous photo of her standing behind the White House, hanging laundry while a few kids ran through the freshly hung sheets. The Roosevelts had an unruly tomboy daughter, named Alice, who was always in trouble, dropping out of trees and throwing frogs at visiting heads of state and such. The Roosevelts were criticized in the press for not controlling this adolescent terror, prompting Teddy to respond, “I can run this country, or I can watch Alice — I cannot possibly do both.” Why did Eleanor step out of that role and ruin the private life of every First Lady to follow her? Imagine her converastion with Franklin. “And I’m just supposed to sit behind you with my mouth shut?” “And knit, Eleanor, or embroider. Wait, mend my shirts. That would send the perfect message.” “But I’m a college educated woman, I want to do something besides mending.” “Yes, but most of the women in the country haven’t gone past sixth or seventh grade. You don’t want to make them feel bad. They should see that you are just like them, it’s really the best political image we can project.” “Well perhaps I’d like to be an inspiration to women, to show them that there’s nothing wrong with being educated, that they can be educated and still be domestic and feminine.” “I didn’t marry you so you could create a platform for social change, Eleanor.” “Of course not, you married me for my rich family and the opportunities they could provide.” “Naturally. But, women in the U.S. are blissfully happy in their God given role of homemaking.” “No Franklin, women resign themselves to homemaking because all other avenues of social advancement are denied to them.” “And what should we do? Let you work in the factories today building airplanes and warships?” “Is that such a bad idea, Franklin?” “Wait a minute, we could pay the women a fraction of what we pay men, and since ‘Last Hired is First Fired’ is the rule, we can send you all home at the end of the war. Plus, putting women in the workplace will make my administration look progressive and put an end to your yammering. Eleanor, go make some sandwiches, I’m calling up three cabinet members for a late meeting.” For the record, the fastest construction time for a battleship from scratch to launch was 28 days. The construction crew was entirely female including all foremen and supervisors. Daycare was provided on the job site. Some think it was a huge incentive for the women to stay at work. I agree. Given the choice of spending all day with colicky baby or teething toddler, I take an air driven bolt driver or welding torch any day.
Looking for new Sheltered Islander columns by the irreverent Sally Flynn? Go to danshamptons.com, and find Shelter within Dan’s Papers online Print Editions.