Dan’s Papers March 11, 2011 danspapers.com Page 46
LETTERS Send your letters to askdan@danspapers.com (e-mails only, please) STUFF HAPPENS IN THE HAMPTONS Dear Dan, This happened to me last year and I thought I would share with you; I manage a Wendy’s here in Fort Myers, Florida. During lunch I went out to greet some guests and I was at this one table where a couple was just finishing up their meal, I heard their accent so I had to ask where they were from. The wife replied they were from New York City. I told them that I was also and had just gotten back from there the previous day. They asked where I stayed, and I said I had spent a few days in Manhattan, then my family spent another 10 days in the Hamptons. The husband asked if I had a good vacation and I said only the best, the wife however said that I didn’t have to lie about where I went. Her response was “How can anyone that works in a Wendy’s ever go to the Hamptons?” To say the least I was shocked, I then informed the wife that I have been going to the Hamptons for the summer season, since I was 3 years old, to the age of 22, when I finished school, and my family moved elsewhere. She laughed it all off. Best luck ever was, since my wife is a teacher, we drove up there to show the kids some of the history that the eastern seaboard has to offer. I went out to my car which still had a few items in it besides sand and offered her my copy of Dan’s Papers (the most current issue) her husband looked at his wife and said “Well you stuck your foot in your mouth and now I have to pull it out of your ass...just to let you know.” Thank you for the many years of your paper, from
common print to the glossy it is now. George Austin Cape Coral, Florida
We could use a Wendy’s out here. DR THE STATE OF THE NATION Dear Dan, This thing in Wisconsin is very important to every American. All the unions should be worried about this one. If they pass it in Wisconsin then what, is New York next? The right to bargain is important to working class people. This is what America is all about. Kill this one and where is America? We have come so far but we have not moved forward one inch. The rich control everything. The price of gas, the price of food and the price of home heating oil. The next thing that will take your breath away will be the price of food. Food prices will go off the wall. Food is in short supply worldwide. Drinking water will be in short supply and the cost of clean drinking water will hit all time highs. Yep! That glass of water from your tap in Southampton will cost you big time. Maybe the cost will be as high as gas? The world has changed again and we are coming into a new era of greed. The rich not only want what we have but they want it now. They don’t think they should pay taxes and they think the unions are not being fair by asking them to pay. What we have seen in Egypt will happen here. The people will hit the streets and the politicians will
POLICE BLOTTER Shotgun An unknown person used a shotgun to shoot a mailbox in East Hampton. It was reported as criminal mischief. The Nightrider A man in East Hampton was seen driving his car in the middle of the night at high speed without his headlights on. When he was pulled over by police, shockingly, the man was intoxicated. He was promptly arrested. Shelter Island Old Man McGumbus, 94 years old and a former artillery commander during WWII, was pulled over for driving his personal M1A1 tank down Main Street. When police approached the tank, McGumbus popped out of the hatch wearing goggles and a leather hat. When the smoke cleared, McGumbus explained to police that he needed to get his tank to the south side of the island as soon as possible because there had been a hippie sighting. Angry Horseman A man in East Hampton became upset because a horse he owns was not allowed to be boarded on a private piece of land. He decided to walk around
the property and scared the daylights out of another horse owner who called police wondering what the suspicious man was up to. Picture Trouble A man reported that he had his iPhone stolen in Hampton Bays and is so concerned about losing the photographs on the phone, he is offering a $3,000 reward with no questions asked to anybody that returns the phone intact. Can’t Touch This A grown man on the North Fork was seen intoxicated and walking down the middle of the road holding a bottle of wine and singing lyrics to the song, “Can’t Touch This” by M.C. Hammer.
hide. What a bunch of lowlifes. The governor sent the police to find them. They should be fired. What dead beats. If you don’t show up for work what happens to you? Did you ever think it would come to this in America? Where is my old America that I loved so much? The America that many of us fought for and died for. What did we do wrong? PJ Doodah Palm City, Florida
Wisconsin is only one of a few states that give government employees the right to bargain. - DR HERE’S THE BEEF Dear Dan, The U.S. Dietary Guidelines released this week by the U.S. Departments of Agriculture and Health and Human Services are continuing a 30-year trend of recommending replacement of animal products and other fatty foods in our diet with vegetables, fruits, and whole grains. The recommendations reflect widespread concern with the epidemic of obesity and other precursors of killer diseases, particularly among our children. In a National Public Radio interview, distinguished Harvard University Professor of Public Health Walter Willett complained about the Guidelines’ lack of transparency in failing to call for an outright reduction in meat consumption. In 1977, drawing on two years of hearings by the Senate Select Committee on Nutrition and Human Needs chaired by Sen. George McGovern, Willett authored the original “Dietary Goals for the United States.” When the meat industry learned that the report’s key recommendation was to reduce meat consumption, it forced McGovern to destroy all copies of the report and to replace “meat” with “saturated fat.” It then abolished the Committee, voted McGovern out of office and taught government bureaucrats never to challenge meat consumption again. To this day, “saturated fats” remains a code word for meat, dairy, and eggs. Sincerely, Brian Williams Stonington, Connecticut
I’ll have a saturated fat burger and fries. - DR
Pulled Over A man in Southampton was pulled over after he was driving erratically on the road. When police approached the vehicle, they asked the man if he had been drinking and he stated that he had not been drinking. Police had a hard time believing the man when they spotted the open container of whiskey in his lap.
FROM GIN TO HONG KONG Dear Dan, Just finished your last book, In The Hamptons Too. I enjoyed it immensely. While planning our house on Gin Lane, we rented a Norman Jaffe-designed house for a year on Meadow Lane, adjacent to Cooper’s Beach. I certainly enjoyed your piece on him. The Gin Lane house is ready to build but we’ve put that off to return to Hong Kong for a bit. Thanks for a wonderful book, and we look forward to many happy years in The Hamptons. Sincerely, Robert H. Burns Hong Kong
- David Lion Rattiner
Norman Jaffe was one of a kind. – DR