DAN’S PAPERS
danshamptons.com
March 8, 2013 Page 19
Whalemaster Making a Case for a New Ceremonial Position in the Hamptons By Dan Rattiner
G
uests, like fish, begin to smell after three days. —Benjamin Franklin As I wrote a couple of weeks ago, there has been a recent upsurge in the number of giant whales—which I define as larger than a bus— that have washed up dead on our beaches here in the Hamptons. Historically, in the last 100 years, they have washed up approximately once a generation. In the last 10 years, we have had five of them wash up, two of which have washed ashore in the last year. It’s something we need to take notice of. And we are not. The problem is not that they wash up. That is more of a perk than a problem. Everyone wants to go down to the beach and look in wonder at these great behemoths. They are a tourist attraction—a community asset. They bring people out to the Hamptons. Yay! The problem is what to do with them. We did pretty well with the first few that washed up recently. But this last one, in Napeague, well, whatever it is you do with them, you have to do it pretty fast. Otherwise there is a problem downwind. And in this case, we didn’t do that. It wasn’t until the following day that people from Bistrian Sand and Gravel Corporation came down there wearing masks to deal with this 40- to 50-ton finback. Bistrian then sent the Town of East Hampton a bill for $7,500 for the work. Trouble is, according to the town, nobody had hired him. So when the bill came, the town comptroller’s office was upset. You don’t just
do work without authorization. What followed was a melée involving the town board and town trustees over this, during which time the town decided that payment should come out of the Trustees’ budget. The Trustees’ entire budget, a really small one, comes from the Town. Even the fines they collect for beach violations get forwarded to the Town. Town Budget Officer Len Bernard, along with Town Harbormaster Ed Michels told The East Hampton Star they made arrangements with Bistrian Gravel through the highway department. “We discussed the alternative methods to remove the whale (with Trustee Deborah Klughers.) She was concerned it might be buried or towed out to sea,” said Michels. Klughers, at a Trustee meeting, denied approving anything. No expenses are approved unless by a vote of the full board and there was none about this. “No one asked us about cost or anything about removing the whale or how to go about it,” Diane McNally, the clerk for the Trustees said at that meeting. One of the trustees said that Billy Mack of First Coastal in Westhampton Beach had offered to remove any whale for free. “I had a machine not far away,” Mack said. “I said I would be happy to do it. They (the town) said they had already made other arrangements.” Michels acknowledged that he’d spoken to Mack, but said Mack never offered (Cont’d on next page)
Dan Rattiner’s third memoir, Still in the Hamptons is now online and at all bookstores. His first two memoirs, In the Hamptons and In the Hamptons, TOO, are also available online and in bookstores.