Dan’s Papers February 10, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 14
Sale
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We are in a deep recession, although here it’s a higher-up recession. Properties on the market here have an extra zero added to the price for sale when compared, for example, to Bayonne, New Jersey. I think it would cheer everybody up if we had all our real estate signs smaller. I think if East Hampton eventually passes this law, it will after that be passed throughout the Hamptons, because nobody will want to have a situation where you could pass through East Hampton and everything is fine and dandy and then come to Sag Harbor or Southampton, different municipalities, and there’s just a forest full of “FOR SALE” signs everywhere. “What’s wrong with these places?” the
prospective buyer might ask the realtor as they rumble along the highway. “Something fishy going on in Sag Harbor? Turn the car around.” So yes, I am all for having smaller signs on the front lawns of homes for sale. But I do think there should be an exception to the rule. I would make an exception if the property for sale were a big oceanfront estate on many, many landscaped acres. I think having a little teensy “for sale” sign in front of such a place would, frankly, be a bad design statement. People, seeing such a teensy thing on such a large property would just laugh and say hurtful things about our community as they went by. I would define “a big oceanfront estate” in
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two ways. It would have to be listed for more than $20 million. Or, alternately, the owner of the property would have to show income tax returns for recent years to the Town fathers to indicate he or she was among the top 1%. For those that qualified, I would allow a “For Sale” sign to be as big as six feet high by 15 feet long. But I also would require that in small print, the for sale sign tell the history of the house, about how a former President lived there or how a debutante swung from a chandelier in that house during a wild party— anything to amuse passersby—although it would have to be true, and also a little bit about the seller, similar to what you might see on Page Six in The New York Post. Another idea would be to ban ALL for sale signs in the Hamptons. Not allow even one. They do this on Martha’s Vineyard I think, or maybe it’s Nantucket. One of those places. Things get bought and sold one way or another. Word of mouth. Little slips of paper passed from one person to another in a fancy restaurant. Carrier pigeons. Back room deals in smokefilled rooms. Advertising in Danshamptons. com and Dan’s Papers. And still another idea is this. Up on County Road 39, going westbound just before you get to the Lobster Inn and the Sunrise Highway, put a huge metal pot on the north side of the road. Here, people leaving the Hamptons could throw envelopes filled with the money they have left over from being in the Hamptons along with, on the envelope, their name and phone number. This money could be collected every evening by the realtors, who would then deed over one property every day to a lucky recipient right on television after they announce the winners of the New York State Lottery. (The money would be handed over, less commission, by the realtors to the seller of the property. This would be all on the up and up.) That’s how I would do it anyway.
Movies
single episode has been actually filmed in the Hamptons and many of the actors and actresses in the show have never even been here. So what gives? Why can’t we attract more filmmakers to actually FILM HERE, versus pretending that they film here. Is it the drive out to the East End? Or is it because there aren’t enough support systems in place for them to easily get filming? If you wanted to make a movie in the Hamptons, how would you go about getting a permit to do some filming? The fact of the matter is that you wouldn’t know what to do, and quite frankly, neither do Hollywood elites, and this problem has drawn the attention of the Town of East Hampton who has created a group known as the Town of East Hampton Media Advisory Committee (MAC). The group consists of people who have made their living in the movie business and are living on the East End, and just last week they have announced that they will create a website called filmhamptons.com and filmthehamptons.org to facilitate and promote film, television and other media production in
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