Page 22 February 1, 2013
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Reality (Continued from previous page) it was some kind of echo that was Was somebody in the TV standing by making what Obama said on the New York TV slightly different with a button to bleep out something than what was on mine, but then, at one point, he was making this our President might say at his own very powerful and uplifting remark, inauguration? and I whispered to my wife, “Wow, listen to that,” just as, over the hebegan the speech on my wife’s TV. He was telephone, I heard him making moving along in his speech, saying, “I have taken some saber-rattling statement to an oath, not to any particular faction or political the Republicans who oppose him. party, but to the Constitution of the United “What?” my wife said. States” on her TV when on mine, he said, “Vice Soon after that I had figured it President Biden, Mr. Chief Justice, Members out. The delay was 12 seconds. I of the United States Congress, distinguished told my wife and she didn’t believe guests, and fellow citizens….” me. I told her we should both shut Don’t navigate by these stars! The ceiling of Grand Central Terminal I did not notice this at first. At first I thought up and listen. And sure enough, there it was. He was making a joke in Manhattan, but was saying something sad about Afghanistan in East Hampton. What the hell was this? How could this be? It occurred to me that she has Time Warner Cable in New York while I have DIRECTV in East Hampton. Was that it? Maybe I was under surveillance or something, or they wanted me to know things in a delay. I wondered if I ever got a call about the end of a football game where our team won and I hadn’t known it yet. I couldn’t recall such a thing. How much was the delay from Washington to New York City? It did put me in mind of how TV censors work when there are words going to be spoken that were not meant for children’s ears and they do the delay to bleep them out. Was somebody in the TV standing by with a button to bleep out something our President might say at his own inauguration? is the must-read digital companion And then I remembered something I had seen to Dan’s Papers, the largest weekly publication on Long Island’s happen during a football game I watched last week. A pass had been ruled completed on the celebrated, affluent East End. Fun and informative, updated field, but a flag had been thrown challenging multiple times every day with coverage of can’t-miss events, the ruling. “No way that ruling is going to stand,” one Hamptons celebrities, local news and newsmakers, food--andof the commentators said. “He stepped out of bounds before he caught the ball.” wine happenings and more—it’s all Hamptons all the time! “You are right, Tim,” said the second commentator. “Not one of our referees’ best calls.” There was another slow-motion replay. “There it is, right there.” At that point, we headed off to three minutes of commercials. There was a very good one for Budweiser, as a matter of fact. And then there was another good one from Lincoln. There were quite a few commercials. And now we were back to the game. The referees still hadn’t made a decision. But now the commentators were seeing this a whole different way. “You know, if you look at it another way,” one of them said, “his hand did touch the ball. That could do it. But it’s just a possibility.” “It was hard to notice the hand touching the ball on any of the replays, Tim. And I’m not even sure if that’s in the rulebook. But maybe so.” Now the referee was ready to make the decision. He pressed the little button on his microphone battery strapped to his belt and he spread his arms. “After further review,” he said, “the ruling on the field stands.” And the crowd went wild. And I thought, is my entire life just a recorded announcement? Einstein, where are you when I need you? 23318
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