bring a “plus one” is prohibitive for most couples, but there are some circumstances that call for allowing a guest to bring a date. According to Hyde, there are two factors to consider: (1) How close you are to the guest, and (2) how long the guest has been in a relationship. “It’s common courtesy and common sense that you’re going to allow your sister, who’s a member of your bridal party, to bring her boyfriend who she’s been seeing for a year,” she explains. But if a co-worker asks to bring someone that she just met two
weeks ago? That’s a different story. Simply explain, diplomatically, that budget constraints (or your desire for an intimate wedding) mean that you’re only able to invite those closest to you and your fiancé.
Kiddie Conscious A final guest-list quandary is whether or not to include kids—a decision that can significantly affect both the cost and the tone of your wedding. Hyde estimates that about 50% of the weddings she coordinates these
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days are adults-only events, which are not only cheaper, but can be more enjoyable for all involved. “Children can be disruptive,” says Hyde, “and that makes it uncomfortable for not only the reception guests, it also makes it uncomfortable for the parents and the child.” On the other hand, some guests will likely resist leaving their kids at home, and including the whole family is important to some couples. If you do choose to include kids, be prepared to modify the event to make it kid-friendly. For example, avoid serving something like lobster at the reception, says Hyde, since most young kids haven’t developed that kind of a refined taste. Also, remember to budget for a babysitter and for coloring books, crayons, games, and other methods for keeping kids entertained during the festivities. Above all, whether there are kids or no kids, whether the guest list is small or large, stand by the ultimate principle of invitations: surround yourself with those who love you and support your union—those who will cheer you on as you say “I do” and throughout the happily ever after to follow. Jamie Santa Cruz is a freelance writer based in New York City.
Sources
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44 Winter 2014
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