DUDS
2011
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LOOKING BACK ON THE HIGHS AND LOWS OF THE YEAR THAT WAS BILL COPE
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ILLUSTRATIONS BY ADAM ROSENLUND
Late in August, young Kaytlyn Harris of Coeur d’Alene waited at the Kootenai County fairgrounds for her father to arrive with her 4-H pig. Since April, Harris had been preparing Thunder (the pig) for show, and in that interval, Thunder had blossomed from 50 pounds to 300 pounds. It is unclear how Thunder managed to free himself from the constraints meant to keep him in the back of Mr. Harris’ truck for the trip to the fairgrounds, but that is indeed what Thunder managed to do. Once free, he made the unfortunate decision to bail out—300 pounds of pig hit the pavement at a speed faster than all but the very brightest swine would comprehend. He survived the jump, but his leg was broken, making him worthless as a show pig. Poor Thunder did not survive the ensuing trip to the butcher. Kaytlyn was devastated, reported the Coeur d’Alene Press. Months of labor and love, hopes and dreams, poop-scooping and slopping the hog, all come to naught. And all because Thunder thought he could fly. You may wonder why I chose the story of Thunder and Kaytlyn for 2011’s Dud of the Year award, especially when this year has been so ripe with raw Dud material. After all, in subsequent years, few people will remember how Thunder met his tragic end, while the effects of Tom Luna’s education reforms, for instance, will linger on like scar tissue. Yet there is something about the sad tale of Thunder that seemed to me to be an apt allegory for so much of what has been going on in Idaho politics since January. So much bloated energy, so many wasted words, so great an effort to turn the trivial into something meaningful ... and then, that big splat! when the blubber hits the road. Sen. Mike Crapo and the Gang of Six solve the deficit problem? ... splat! Nullification? ... splat! The campaign to win parents over to Luna’s reforms? ... splat! Perhaps in another year, I could convince my bosses at BW to convert the Spuds and Duds into the “Annual Thunder the Pig Memorial Issue.” Can’t you see it now? The good items could be given a “Fly on, Pig” designation—the visual representation being a cute little porker with angelic wings—while the bad things get a vomity mess denoting … you guessed it ... splat! Until then, here are the rest of 2011’s Spuds and Duds.
8 | DECEMBER 28, 2011 – JANUARY 3, 2012 | BOISEweekly
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