Charleston’s OUT Crowd
Wedding Edition
ALL PEOPLE ARE EQUAL. ALL VODKAS ARE NOT.
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Contents
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BEAUTIFUL LIFE
OUT CROWD WEDDINGS
IN EVERY ISSUE
9 INS PIRE An interactive approach to positive inspiration through art and photography
2 4 CLA SSICA LLY ROMA NTIC A beau offers the perfect proposal for a lifetime of love
16 ROO TS Featuring Charleston’s Unitarian Church, a welcoming congregation
1 8 BOU NC E A playful perspective on pre-wedding jitters
3 6 E NCHA NTE D Two brides tie the knot in whimsical, Southern fashion
6 2 BEAUDAC IOUS FOOD Inside the Green Goat’s oyster roast
48 TRAS H T H E DRE S S An anti-materialistic display of metamorphosis
4 4 INTRODUCING CHA RLE STON’S LG BT W E DDING DIR E CTORY Gay-friendly industry experts
6 4 BEAU’DIAC S A look at seasonal horoscopes guided by the larger planets
56 SAME S E X I N T H E C ITY Soup for one and single with choice
58 A LLIA NCE F OR FU LL ACCE PTA NCE Impact of gay weddings on business and social justice
6 6 AS K AVA “Dragging” out answers to community questions
ON THE COVER
RON’RICO JUDON “Dr. Maya Angelou quoted: ‘In diversity there is beauty and there is strength.’ I’m often reminded of that when I see the many faces and cultures that represent the LGBTQIA community. We are heroines of our journeys and soldiers of our yesterday. I’ve never been so proud to outwardly smile upon the rainbow for my fellow transgender brothers and sisters. ‘I am, with no apology’ -Marcus Garvey” 4
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JAISEE GREENE “The trans community is a vastly diverse and vibrant one that encompasses so many types of people. More often than not our voices are only heard with relation to devastating and tragic experiences, however, this is only due to the media’s attempt of finite narration. The real life stories of trans people have yet to be written without bias although it has begun. Charleston is home to an ever-widening trans community where visibility is becoming possible ( for some) and I am honored and blessed to be a part of it.”
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Contributors SP E CI A L THA NK S TO CO NTR IBUTING W R I TE R S PHILIP BRADLEY EMILY DZIUBAN SUSIE PRUETER JEN BENNETT MARGIE POWELL ADRIAN HAMILTON REBECCA GOSNELL ACACIA FALZONE
Abigail Marie
Mary Marnell
Art Director Lead Photographer
Creative Director
STEVEN WILLARD
graphics@beau-magazine.com
SUE HANDLEY MARIA RIVERS
art@beau-magazine.com
ADRIAN HAMILTON ANNE M. JENNINGS MELORA MORGAN CIUCCI COLLEEN CONDON AVA CLEAR CO NTR IBUTING CO PY E D I TO R S JAIME P. WIERINGA DEIDRE GARRARD CO NTR I BUTING G R A P HI C A RTI STS
Jenn Muckelvaney
Jaime P. Wieringa
Social Media Director Advertising Sales
Media Coordinator Advertising Sales
engage@beau-magazine.com
media@beau-magazine.com
DIXIE FANNING CO NTR I BUTING P HOTO G R A P HE R S BRUCE WYATT D ISTR I BUTIO N KERRY MEIER
Fo r a c o m p l e t e l i s t o f w e d d i n g ve n d o rs fe a t u re d i n t hi s i s s u e , p l e a s e vi s i t : Trevor Donovan
Jonny Sherwood
BE AU-M AGA ZI NE . CO M /
Events Photographer
Jonny Cosmetics Pictorial Shoot & Makeup Artist
W E D D I NG S
events@beau-magazine.com
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Justin Thomas Proudly serving the Community since 2003 We can find your dream house in your favorite neighborhood
Contact me today! 843.224.4422 JThomas@carriageprop.com JustinThomasRealestate.com
MT. PLEASANT
WEST ASHLEY
424 Broadway Street Mount Pleasant, SC 29464 (843) 388 7857
1331 Ashley River Road Charleston, SC 29407 (843) 573 3422
mtp@wineanddesign.com
westashley@wineanddesign.com
Kids Division of Wine & Design
SPECIALIZING IN TEAM BUILDING, B-DAY PARTIES BACHELORETTE & BRIDAL PARTIES, NIGHTLY ADULT & KID CLASSES BEAU -MAGAZINE.COM | 7
BEAU M AG | P UBL I S H ER’ S N OTE
MARIA RIVERS
WHEN WE BEGAN THIS M AGAZINE, LGBT marriage was a small speck on a far-off horizon. We never imagined that marriage would become a reality that we would see so soon after our inaugural issue of BEAU Magazine! As with any relationship, we are just getting to know each other. We have barely proposed to you, dear reader! And here we are, with all rights and privileges thereof. Charleston…Will you marry us? In all seriousness, we are thrilled that we are Charleston’s OUT Crowd’s source for wedding resources. This is the beginning of a healthy, lasting relationship. As in any relationship, we have a lot to learn from each other. Any relationship is a journey, and we look forward to documenting those joys and BEAUtiful times with you. Please submit your photos and wedding stories to editor@ BEAU-Magazine.com. Along with incorporating wedding ideas, pictures, and vendors in the upcoming editions of BEAU Magazine, we also are indirectly creating and documenting the beginning of our own future “traditions” within our LGBTA community. This is a time to be the matriarchs and patriarchs for our future generations. Traditional white and fluffy weddings will always be around, but now it’s our turn to let it shine. I’m looking forward to seeing the upcoming high fashion wedding looks that will outshine “tradition” with our “OUT Crowd” style. We had so much FUN shooting the engagement and wedding pictorials inside this issue. Both of the couples we photographed have been together with their partners for years and are recently married (legally). I can feel the love radiate from the photographs. I will never forget the beeps from the horns of avid supporters as Shane proposed to Tony in the middle of King Street outside the American Theatre for the proposal pictorial shoot. There was a lot of love floating around downtown Charleston that day. In the wedding shoot, Melodye and Katey emanated pure happiness and true love. When two people are happy and in love, everybody feels it around them. We were all high on their positive love and energy that day. I have to add, out of more than 60 magazine covers that I’ve produced in my publishing career this one is the most epic to me. The diversity is absolutely stellar. I’ve always loved our transgender community. Back in Atlanta I had many “T” friends that patiently educated me with their amazing stories. The amount of courage and determination that resonates in our “T” community always amazes me. This was my first time meeting Ron Rico and Jaisee. They are both two of the most purest lights. I enjoyed every minute and am blown away by every shot that Abigail Marie captured. I hope you all enjoy this edition as much as we all enjoyed building it! Throw me some feedback on it, Charleston! Stay BEAUtiful, MARIA RIVERS Publisher publisher@beau-magazine.com 8
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INSPIRED
The Mystics Moon Tomorrow I will talk to my Muse about a full moon vision I had in November What is the mystery that emboldens the Lowcountry heart and quests us to seek the deepness Yet cradles us from sorrow filling hope with awe and the musky scent of Live Oak and Spanish Moss
Anne M. Jennings
Are you INSPIRED? Create fearlessly and submit your artwork to art@beau-magazine.com for consideration.
# B E AUM AGAZINE
PHOTOGRAPHY BY
Ab i ga i l Ma r i e
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BEAU M AG | BEAUT I F UL P E O P L E
B Y A D R I A N H A M I LT O N
Why We Love...
Andrew Smith ANDREW SMITH and his wife Neda moved to Charleston two and a half years ago from New York. One of the first friends he made in Charleston was a gay gentleman. After witnessing and hearing some of the persecutions that his new friend had to deal with, Andrew quickly made an effort to get involved with the Alliance For Full Acceptance (AFFA) to help promote more awareness within the Charleston communities. “Coming from New York and having friends that were part of the LGBT community, I never thought of the group as a separate entity. After moving to South Carolina, I first began to see how members of the LGBT community were treated differently and I witnessed open prejudice,” says Smith.
Smith is employed by UBS Financial Services, Inc. and works with individuals and families to design and implement comprehensive financial plans. In working with his clients to achieve goals in conjunction with recent equal marriage act laws, Smith has realized the need to help define future financial agendas for the LGBT community. “I would hope that marriage equality brings peace of mind and heart to those who seek the emotional and legal commitment of marriage,” says Smith. “Often getting married is not the best financial decision, but that shouldn’t be the determining factor. For many of my clients, I focus on exercising the rights that are afforded through marriage and the security that comes with that.” Smith has worked with UBS for two and a half years. UBS is designed to provide individuals around the world with the advice, expertise, and opportunities they need to protect and grow their wealth. Based on his experience, Smith shared two different perspectives of the business that lend to his success in helping others grow their wealth. “The early portion of my career was as an institutional trader. After doing this for 13 years, I wanted to turn my focus to individuals and families who can 10 | Bfrom E AU my -M AGA Z I N E. C OM benefit experience. Having been on
both sides, I have a unique perspective that I provide to each and every one of my clients,” says Smith. In the financial planning business, the fluff of life is peeled away to reveal some realities clients are counseled to focus on. These realities aren’t necessarily negative. If strategically approached for possibility, they can become easier to deal with if the future calls for it. “The legal recognition of marriage equality was obviously a huge step for the LGBT community,” says Smith. “This starting point will hopefully lead to more acceptance for same-sex couples to adopt or have their own biological children. This turning point in history ultimately propels more complex family structures that lead to more complex planning. Most people never plan for things to turn negative, but I always work with my clients to prepare for the worst. Life events such as divorce, remarriage, longterm care, stepchildren, college, retirement planning, and gifting all fall under the need for financial planning. It’s just the way life goes and it is advantageous to hope for the best but still be prepared for some unfortunate realities. My focus is for my community to provide strategies for financial protection in present and future endeavors.”
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B Y E M I LY D Z I U B A N
Why We Love...
Sarah Stowers WITH SHORT BROWN HAIR , glasses, and tribal earrings, acupuncturist Sarah Stowers projects a combination of friendly comfort and progressive thinking. Being a CofC graduate, she and her partner Mariya moved here with their dog Kaia from Colorado to help bring awareness and access to acupuncture in this region. “I love working with Stephen Khouri at Khouri Chiropractic,” says Sarah. “It is a diverse and welcoming place.” Stowers’ innate comfortable persona is just the right mix to untangle the jangled nerves that accompany that anticipated trip down the aisle. “I have gotten frantic calls from brides asking if I was working before the ceremony,” says the acupuncturist with a smile, sitting in the coffee shop across from Khouri Chiropractic on East Bay Street in downtown Charleston. Along with healing many ailments, acupuncture eases stress which can come along with all the joys of a wedding. For those who have never tried acupuncture, Stowers says it is not completely painless. “You do feel something,” she says. A session lasts about an hour, depending on the severity of the ailment being treated, yet the health and wellness benefits are immense. Stowers says the first time she had an acupuncture treatment, she felt “super chilled out” for three days. It was a powerful experience for her and became her life’s work. Her studies took her across the globe to Harbin, China, where she did rotations at Heilongjiang University of Chinese Medicine, which uses primarily acupuncture and herbs.
After graduating from Southwest Acupuncture College, Stowers loved seeing the diversity of conditions that could be treated with acupuncture in a hospital. Her personal focus is sports injuries and orthopedics, but any pain, illness or internal imbalance can be helped with acupuncture. While acupuncture may seem like “alternative medicine” to some, Stowers stresses that it works. Acupuncture is a legitimate healing practice that billions of people around the world use that is research-based and supported by the World Health Organization. In other parts of the country, acupuncture treatment is already very common. Mention BEAU magazine and Sarah will offer a 15% family discount for new clients. Manis, pedis and acupuncture – the perfect day before the wedding treat!
KHOURI CHIROPRACTIC and Health Solutions has locations across the lowcountry in Downtown Charleston, Ladson/Summerville, Mt. Pleasant, and North Charleston. Schedule your appointment by calling (843) 853 2225 or by visiting KhouriChiropractic.com.
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BY MARGIE POWELL
BEAU M AG | BE AUT I F UL P E O P L E
Letter to Saptarsi My Dear Saptarsi, It tears me up to say that our friendship of 33 years has ended. You died way too young. But somehow, I know that you’re still here. I feel a blanket of energy around me that feels like your spirit, your love. Please keep talking to me, because I still need you. We met when you were 33 and I was 28. Our children played together. Big wheels rolling down the hall, birthday parties, and homemade cake. You fell in love with Janice. You were amazed and delighted that your knight in shining armor was a girl. No two people could be more right for each other. Your relationship was a beautiful merging of two souls with complete trust, love and respect for each other. You came into my life when I needed you most. You taught me Astrology. We discussed religion, philosophy and physics for hours. You were the Mother Teresa in my life. As someone said at your funeral, “Saptarsi’s hugs were the safest place in the world.” This epitomizes who you were and the love and compassion you gave to the world. You opened my eyes to a much broader way of seeing the world. You taught me how to be myself no matter what and to see the world through the eyes of love and compassion. Your strength of self and love for the world created a powerful vortex of change around you and affected everyone you knew. What a gift you gave! You shined your light brightly and true and made sure it was always full of love. And you helped so many. You generously gave an ear to those that needed a friend, strength to those that needed it, and love and caring to those that were sick and dying. You were a friend to everyone that would accept you. You had to fight many battles in your life, and you fought them with love. You understood that each of us is in our own separate level of understanding of the world. My promise to you: I will take the love you have so generously given me and pass it on, expanding the love and goodness in the world. Love is what connects us all, for we are one. In the end, the love we give out is the only thing that lasts, the only thing that matters. And I will carry it forward for you. I love you, dear friend, MARGIE 14
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“ Your strength of self and love for the world created a powerful vortex of change around you and affected everyone you knew.”
OPEN AD
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BEAU M AG | R OOTS
BY JEN BENNETT
Charleston’s Unitarian Church
THE UNITARIAN CHURCH in Charleston is where the old world of Charleston and its history intersect with the new world of progress. The church first opened its doors in 1787, and continues to reflect the beauty of old world architecture, such as stained glass and a fan vaulted ceiling reminiscent of the heavens. The teachings of love, compassion, brother and sisterhood found in religions around the world are warmly preserved in this church, and are infused in the wedding ceremonies which take place here. In this way, the Unitarian Church in Charleston holds fast to tradition and the very ideals embraced by our “holy city.� In addition to this reverence for the past and the bringing forth of human qualities that have been passed down for centuries, this church also grows and adapts to the current human climate, as evidenced by the firm stance the church takes on gay and lesbian marriages.
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In 1984, the Unitarian Universalist Association passed a resolution officially recognizing same-sex unions at a time when it was not only unpopular to support gay and lesbian marriages, but unheard of within faith communities. The Unitarian Church in Charleston strongly followed suit. Rev. Danny Reed, the Minister of the Congregation, officiated his first same-sex union almost 19 years ago. In any wedding he officiates, he meets with the couple to ensure that the service represents who they are and the religious and spiritual beliefs they hold. The ceremonies he presides over are infused with the same eloquent wisdom present in all of his sermons, and accentuate the feelings of love, joining in union, and celebration of togetherness that every wedding should embody. The wedding coordinator for the church, Susan Findley, is a dedicated organizer who, without any question, uses the immense
PHOTOGRAPHY BY
Trevor Donovan
BEAU MAG | R OOTS
love emanating from her soul to ensure every wedding at the church runs smoothly and with a natural ease that accommodates the nerves, excitement and stress which can often accompany such a monumental day. In 2007, after many years of reflection and study by church members, the Unitarian Church in Charleston officially became a “Welcoming Congregation.” This designation takes acceptance of the LGBT community a step further than opening the doors to LGBT members. It is a commitment to continuing the education of the membership on issues pertinent to LGBT people, as well as the participation in social advocacy to support the rights of LGBT individuals. In 2014, the church was the site for Spirit Day, a day which honors LGBT youth who have lost their lives to suicide, as well as the Transgender Day of Remembrance, which honors the lives of transgender people who have died as a result of transphobic hate crimes. Every year, the Unitarian Church draws a big crowd to march in the Charleston Pride Parade, and often has the biggest group. From the nationwide support of the Unitarian Universalist Association, to the wide and adamant support from the membership of the Unitarian Church in Charleston, to the individuals who officially participate in gay and lesbian weddings at the church, the mantra of the church, “Open faith, open hearts, open minds” is fully realized. If you are seeking a sanctuary for your love to be witnessed and recognized by your friends and family, a gorgeous location to profess your love to your spouse, and/or a group of religious leaders who will welcome your union with open arms, the Unitarian Church in Charleston very well could be the place for you.
For more information, please visit CharlestonHistoricWeddings.com or Charlestonuu.org. BEAU -MAGAZINE.COM | 17
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BY MELORA MORGAN CIUCCI
Bounce “Life is not about how fast you run or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.” - Vivian Komori This is my absolute favorite quote ever. Simple and easy but hits you where you need it to hit. Just like the book I found it in (which by the way is also my favorite book), Willie Nelson’s The Tao of Willie: A Guide to Happiness in Your Heart. I think yoga can teach you how to bounce, or at least open you up to the awareness of knowing the difference between bouncing and simply reacting. Yoga can change your life if you let it. Not only does it awaken you physically, but it also brings you closer to the real you, your core essence. It moves you away from fear, worry, anger, and takes you to your root - that peaceful, beautiful, intuitive place inside all of us. Yoga opens your eyes to the big picture, the real meaning of things, and the realization that maybe we need some more bounce in our life. This is why I feel so passionately about Wedding Day Yoga. The stress of a wedding can lay heavy on your body and mind: trying to meet deadlines, perfecting every detail, striving to please everyone, the planning, the coordinating, the jumping through hoops to make everyone happy …all things that come with planning a wedding. Sometimes the meaning of the whole celebration gets lost in the hustle. Most couples hit the ground running on their wedding day and become so wrapped up in the details that all of a sudden they look up and the whole thing is over. And yes, this may bring many couples some relief just to have it over, but sadly they miss the celebration, the fun, and they may lose sight of the big picture. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. Yoga on the morning of your wedding
can bring everything back into perspective, slow it down a bit, and ground you to the moment. Bringing yoga into your wedding day creates a space of unity and relaxation. It helps connect you to the deeper meaning of your special day, enriching your celebration with the ones you love, your anticipation of your new life together with your mate, and all of the adventures to come. Its power lies in emotionally clearing the mind, relaxing and calming the nerves, and physically adding strength and flexibility while bringing balance to the body and mind. During these sessions, I can see the stress in the body release. I can feel the shift in energy from when you walk on the mat to when you walk off. This gift to yourself on this very special day is one you will cherish with your partner for the rest of your lives.
MELO R A has been teaching yoga in the Charleston area for over 11 years and started Serenity Tree Yoga in 2013. STY offers a variety of Wedding Yoga Packages as well Bachelorette/Bachelor Party Yoga, Birthday Yoga, Girls Night Out Yoga, and much more. For more information about Wedding Yoga Packages or Serenity Tree Yoga, please visit SerenityTreeYoga.com 18 | B E AU -M AGA Z I N E. C OM P H O T O G R A P H Y B Y Kai lee Di Meg li o
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LAUNCH PARTY PHOTOG RA PH Y BY Abigail Marie A N D Bruce Wyatt
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B EAU M AG | O UT C R OW D W E DDIN GS
Classically Romantic A beau offers the perfect proposal for a lifetime of love...
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A F F I A NCE D Tony Beard and Shane Landrum P HOTO G R A P HY Abigail Marie Nonpareilphotography.com E V E NT D E SI G N + F LOW E R S Blue Planet Green Events BluePlanetGreenEvents.com LO CATIO N The American Theater Patrick Properties R I NG D E SIG N Beth E. Coiner Surface Craft Gallery SurfaceGalleryCharleston.com CATE R I NG Fish Restaurant FishRestaurantCharleston.com CA K E S + D E SSE RTS Sugar Bakeshop SugarBake.com TA BL E TO P Polished! PolishedTabletop.com R E NTA L S Snyder Event Rentals SnyderEvents.com TR A NSP O RTATI O N Lowcountry Valet & Shuttle Co. LowcountryValet.com
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TAKEOVER AT THE PUB 61 PHOTOG RAP HY BY Trevor Donovan
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B EAU M AG | BE AU T IF U L L IF E
Enchanted
Two brides tie the knot in whimsical, Southern fashion...
BR ID E S
Katey and Melodye Bostick BR ID E SM A ID S
Rachel Bishop and Cassidy Giles W E D D I NG O F F I CI ATE
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BEAU M AG | O UT C R OW D W E DDIN GS
BY REBECCA GOSNELL
Introducing...
GayWeddingsCharleston.com
AS GAY AND GAY-FRI EN DLY IN D USTRY E X P E RTS we want your wedding planning process to be both professional and comfortable. Our goal is to ensure that you work with the top professionals in our industry who are experienced working with same-sex couples. We can help you identify and reserve venues, book rentals, catering, bar service, photographers, coordinators, accommodations, and all other services your wedding may require. And because we vet every vendor and know them well, we can guarantee the highest level of quality and service. We are standing by to help you plan the simplest affair in a stunning rustic location or an extravagant celebration to rival any celebrity wedding.
FEAT U R E D WE D D IN G O F F IC IA NT
Say I Do In Charleston
Meet Wedding Officiant Louise Turrentine who has lived in the Charleston area for more than 20 years. She and her wife, Carolyn, were married in Vermont. She is honored and overjoyed to help all LGBTQ couples marry their love. Say I Do In Charleston offers wedding officiant services to all couples who want to get married in beautiful, historic, and charming Charleston, South Carolina. “We love being part of YOUR special day and creating a service that is meaningful to you and reflects who you are as a couple.” Say I Do Charleston offers tailored or simple, and always tasteful ceremonies including nondenominational, interfaith, spiritual, civil, and vow renewals. 44
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F E ATURE D WEDDING VENU E
Middleton Stables Want the Middleton Place experience without the Middleton price tag? Consider
getting
married
next
door
on
the romantic and intimate grounds of the Middleton Stables. Originally part of Henry Middleton’s private estate, this exceptional, full-service equestrian facility is located only 14 miles from downtown Charleston, SC. Featuring 80 acres of lush pastures shaded by numerous majestic live oak trees, the property features 3 barns, a rustic lakeside reception area and access to 6,000 acres of trails. The live oaks create the perfect shaded space to exchange vows during the day and glimmer with lights at dusk for your outdoor reception. The space is ideal for 10 guests or up to 1,000. Accommodations for out-of-town guests at the Middleton Inn are a short stroll away.
F E AT URE D W E D D IN G D E C O R & RE NTALS
Ooh! Events If your taste trends toward rustic elegance may we recommend Ooh! Events as our preferred
décor
rental
choice.
Their
warehouse is loaded with vintage oneof-a-kind items and custom designed pieces. You’ll find antique leather sofas and dramatic outdoor tents. Pair those with farm tables, vintage china and elegant candlelit lanterns. Why do we love Ooh!? Because while they are the most sought after company for high-end weddings, the doit-yourself brides and grooms get the same level of attention with affordable options. They are very experienced with same-sex couples and have a diverse and talented staff to help you create your dream wedding.
For More Information visit GayWeddingsCharleston.com
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BEAU M AG | B EAUT I F UL L I F E
“
To Mikaela, there was really no other way to handle the dress. It became a heavy symbol of the past, something that should be set free.”
TRAS H T H E DRE SS SAY Y E S T O T H E M E S S BY AC AC I A FA L ZO N E P H OTO G R A P H Y BY AC AC I A FA L ZO N E
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THE
PHILOSOPHY
BEHIND “trash the
dress/say yes to the mess” photography is about taking an elegant gown and putting it in a completely contrasting environment, such as the beach, in order to ruin the dress. It is a work of art on its own. You take a white (ish) wedding dress and literally drag it through the mud/sand/sea and are able to capture photos of the bride that can be striking, beautiful, and provoke thought. There are a lot of people who disagree with this relatively new practice but I, for one, think it is amazing. Brides pay thousands of dollars for a dress they may wear for a few hours. There is something deliciously exciting about destroying the perfection of the dress and documenting the transformation. Trash the dress/rock the frock/say yes to the mess is not a negative concept, but rather an anti-materialistic display of metamorphosis. For Mikaela, my “bride” (and dear friend) shown here, this was a personal journey about literally shedding a skin and moving on. This dress wasn’t worn down the aisle; it never made it there since the wedding was called off. BEAU -MAGAZINE.COM | 49
BEAU M AG | B EAUT I F UL L I F E
The beach was windy and the water was warm. It was perfection. Ironically, she reached out to me years ago to photograph her wedding and instead I ended
For those who may be critical of this choice,
up shooting her “trash the dress.” The dress
Mikaela also made a donation to the Keeper
traveled with her from New York to Charleston,
of the Wild Fund in the amount of the value
and spent time between her closet and the
of the dress. A few months ago she lost her
trunk of her car. To her, there was really no
Newfoundland, Will E. Wonka to Wobbler
other way to handle the dress. It became this
Syndrome and Wild and Free is the foundation
heavy symbol of the past, something that
dedicated to rescuing and rehabilitating wild
should be set free. Of course, you can donate
animals.
it or have it made into something else, but it seems wrong to pass on that kind of energy. We
So, call me if you want to have fun with that
collaborated to do something that was artistic,
wedding dress just hanging in your closet.
representative of Mikaela, and transformative
For Mikaela and myself it was all glitter, paint,
all at once.
sand, and salt water.
After a few weeks of some crazy southern
In the words of one of her favorite quotes:
summer storms, the skies took a rest to reveal burning pinks, purples, and reds along with
“At the end of the day your feet should be
rolling clouds that served as our backdrop on
dirty, your hair should be messy, and your eyes
Sullivan’s Island.
sparkling” -Shanti
IN T ER EST E D IN T RAS H T HE D R E S S P H OTO G RAP H Y ? Contact Acacia & Mikaela to capture your moment: 718-986-5045. Acacia and Mikaela also own an event planning and photography company called Bright Lights Events based here in Charleston. Visit their site to see the work they have done in the area. Bright Lights Events, Be the Light. BrightLightsEvents.com. 50
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PHOTOGRAPHY BY
Ac ac i a Falzone
BEAU -MAGAZINE.COM | 51
BY COLLEEN CONDON
BEAU M AG | F O R OUR F UT UR E
Rainbows & Butterflies SO, THE LGBT COMMUNITY won the legal right to marry in South Carolina in 2014. Thrilling, right? The big question is, are you ready for marriage? Yes, we all want the rainbows and butterflies... But remember, it’s not gay marriage we won, it’s REAL marriage. So I want to share the same advice I share with all straight couples before they marry. REAL
MARRIAGE
means
compromise,
mortgages, helping with your husband’s sick father, deciding who takes out the trash, and the old Eddie Murphy joke, “HALF-she gets HALF.” I am a huge fan of marriage (not just my own upcoming nuptials), but we need to understand it is a serious commitment. Go into your marriage with eyes wide open,
split up even after a short term marriage, you
make sure you have compatible plans on
may have to pay alimony.
children, debts, retirement planning, and loading the dishwasher. As stated in many
• Even if Daddy gave you the money to buy your
wedding
house, your wife or husband may be entitled to
ceremonies,
“the
institution
of
marriage should not be entered into lightly.”
half the equity if you divorce. Even if you keep
Again, while not said in every wedding
separate checking accounts and retirement
ceremony, these phrases do apply: “in sickness
accounts, the Court treats all assets acquired
and in health,” “for richer, for poorer,” “in
during marriage as joint assets in most
sorrow and in joy.” Marriage is hard. Condon
circumstances.
Law Firm LLC represented a healthy man who was married at 30 and then diagnosed with
• For same-sex married couples in South
muscular dystrophy a year later. His wife did
Carolina, marriage equality is not the same
not anticipate caring for a man who couldn’t
as parenting equality, at least not yet.
work. Are both of you going to be comfortable
before you invest in conception assistance
with the same decisions on caring for an ill
or adoption, meet with an attorney who can
parent physically and emotionally? What if you
advise the rights of both spouses.
So
try to get pregnant and spend thousands but don’t succeed? Will your relationship be strong
• For folks who have substantially different
enough to survive these issues? Hopefully the
asset/debt situations, prenuptial agreements
answer is yes, but you should discuss these
may make sense.
types of what-if scenarios before saying “I Do.” If this article raises questions for you to help Some facts about marriage you may not know:
you make plans for your family, meet with an
• If you make significantly more money than
experienced Family Law attorney before you
your intended spouse now or later and you
get married or engaged.
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PHOTOGRAPHY BY
Abi g ai l Mari e
BRANDING, GRAPHIC DESIGN, WEB DESIGN, ART & ILLUSTRATION
E hello@marymarnell.com | marymarnell.com T (770) 686 7954
portrait by Tom Marnell
BEAU -MAGAZINE.COM | 53
BEAU M AG | F O R OUR F UT UR E
BY PHILIP BRADLEY
Life Is Good...Then You Die NO AMOUNT OF MONEY can replace a life that is dear to you. A partner/spouse is a treasured gift that cannot be assigned a value. But your partner/spouse does bring home a paycheck that is probably responsible for the collective paying of bills, especially making the mortgage payment. When you buy life insurance, you replace the income you both have come to rely on. Life insurance is designed to pay your final expenses, satisfy debts, and leave money for loved ones. Making sure there is enough money left to your spouse to be able to pay off the home mortgage and move on with life is a sign of your commitment to the relationship beyond your life. Life insurance is the least expensive if you buy it when you are young and healthy. The older you get, the more the rates go up. If you develop a health problem, you could be rated at a higher premium or, in the worst case, be uninsurable. The logic says buy life insurance when you are young and healthy and have that lower rate for the rest of your life or for the term of the policy. This is an excellent reason for single folks to consider getting life insurance. One day you will need or want to have life insurance. Go ahead and lock in that lower rate sooner rather than later! There are a few different types of policies to consider: - Whole life insurance is a set amount of coverage for your whole life as long as you make the payments. Upon your death, that amount is paid out. - Universal life insurance is a set amount of coverage that has a premium attached to it. Any amount paid over the cost of the life insurance creates interest and accumulates “cash value” in the policy. This cash value could be used by the owner of the policy as an emergency fund or a savings for a future event. - Term life. Term is a certain amount of coverage for a certain period of time. The term could be 10 years, 20 years or another time period. These premiums tend to be less expensive than the other two forms of life insurance. Finding the right coverage for you will require consultation with a licensed agent who can lay all of your options on the table and give you a qualified recommendation. Life insurance is one of the most procrastinated financial purchases people make; however, it is one of the most important. If you have questions or comments, please contact me at my agency at (843) 881-2886 or by email at PhilipBradley@allstate.com. If there is a specific subject you’d like to see addressed in this section for future articles, please let me know. P H I L I P B R A D L EY is a licensed Property and Casualty, Life and Health Insurance agent with the state of South Carolina and represents Allstate Insurance Company and other brokered companies. He is also a Personal Financial Representative with Allstate Financial. He has been an agent for 20 years in the Charleston area selling Auto, Home, Renters, Condo, Flood, Boat, Business, Health, Disability, Accident, Life Insurance and more.
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B EAU M AG | SA M E SEX I N T H E CITY
BY STEVEN WILLARD
Soup for One SOUP FOR ONE! Campbell Soup introduced this concept in the 80’s targeted toward singles. Because why would you heat up an entire can of soup for one, you lonely person! I always think of that tall, thin can when I decide to go to a movie solo or even ... (gasp), dinner alone. With this wildfire spreading of marriage equality (I really thought South Carolina would have legalized weed BEFORE “gay marriage”), I’m witnessing not only a lot my single comrades rushing to pair up but my coupled friends suddenly have friends, cousins, co-workers, the guy that sold them jeans at The Gap, who they think I should meet. No more “Are you seeing anyone?” Now, it’s “So, are you married?” With friends getting married left and right, I had this moment of “Am I an old maid, now?” A spinster destined to live with cats and shopping on QVC? Or, am I that hip, sexy, single man about town? A Mary Richards trapped in a Rhoda Morgenstern body? Or am I actually a hip, hardworking single with a step down living room and a sporty sofa bed? Here’s the thing: I get to decide which story is “the story.” There are times when I decide to hop in the car, drive to Savannah, eat at Paula Deen, flirt with some SCAD hipster. On those days, I’m a bon vivant. I remember going to dinner with my friends needing a table for five. Now, I’m scoping Pet Helpers for Downton Tabby or Cat Stevens. But, one Saturday night, like many Saturday nights, watching reruns of “The Golden Girls,” I had an “Aha” moment. No, not that I am, in fact, a Dorothy and not a Mary (that dye was cast years ago), but that I was not some hip single, swinging bachelor. I was a battle worn, guarded man. A man heating up Soup for One. That was followed by another “Aha” - this was just the “story” I was telling myself. The truth is that I love “The Golden Girls’” and I don’t mind soup for one. 56
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My ego has been tweaking like crazy with all this marriage talk. It’s a new world order, kids! When I was coming of age, marriage wasn’t something we thought about. We were too busy trying to stay alive. Now it’s like trying to catch up! But, here’s the thing: I don’t define myself by a relationship or a boyfriend. I am enough just as I am. If I meet someone that also likes “The Golden Girls” AND soup, awesome! If I don’t, that’s awesome too. I’ve realized I’m not willing to settle when it comes to giving my heart to someone. I’ve done that and it feels like shit. My friends, however, don’t share this view. Neither does my mother btw. My single-hood, or maybe my comfort with it, causes them a bit of discomfort. Kind of like when you go to a bar with someone who doesn’t drink and it makes you uber aware of how much you drink. So, I’ll go to every wedding I am invited to and bring the obligatory gravy boat. But for now, here’s to Soup for One! PHOTOGRAPHY BY
Abi g ai l Mari e
cookies, cupcakes, tarts cakes & pies
59 1/2 Cannon Street Charleston, SC 29403 843.579.2891 w w w. s u g a r b a k e . c o m
BEAU -MAGAZINE.COM | 57
BEAU M AG | OUT C R OW D W E DDIN GS
BY SUSIE PRUETER
Big Gay Wedding Means Big Business for Charleston and Big Bucks for Social Justice WHILE IT MIGHT SEEM LOGICAL, noting Charleston’s repeated “top city” ranking in national polls and publications, many are often surprised to learn that Charleston is also among the top wedding destinations in the world. And it’s mind-blowing to understand how that translates into dollars for the Lowcountry. In 2012, an estimated 4,000 weddings were held in Charleston County alone, generating spending of $105 million. The average wedding hosted 135 people and cost $24,000. While we don’t know yet how LGBT weddings will impact the numbers in South Carolina, we do know states like Illinois (where, let’s face it, don’t have the splendor of the Lowcountry) have seen economic booms of $100+ million in weddings and tourism since adopting marriage equality laws.
generous and notable wedding vendors (many of them LGBT-owned/operated), AFFA put together an upscale Charleston wedding to auction off to a local or visiting LGBT couple. The project has been nicknamed Say A Gay “I Do” in Charleston and is a truly elegant wedding package including rehearsal dinner, ceremony, and reception valued at over $45,000.
Certainly, while dignity, justice, and coming out are the ideals in advocating for LGBT rights, no one can argue that the almighty dollar has had a positive impact on LGBT equality. Businesses have learned that it is cost-effective to have a workforce focused on their product rather than on fear of being fired. Places with gayfriendly legislation and policies are seeing greater growth. And based on the U.S. Census and survey data, the buying power of the LGBT community in 2013 was $830 billion. While love and weddings speak to many, money and jobs generally speak to all. The economy is a “common ground” talking point.
It’s important to note that the vendors signed on long before LGBT marriage was legal in South Carolina. They did so in polite irreverence to the constitutional ban to convey that Charleston is a welcoming, affirming community and is open for LGBT celebration and business. They signed on in protest of what they were missing economically, but most fervently in objection to marriage discrimination. “I just think it’s doing the right thing”, said third-generation owner Mariana Ramsay Hay of Croghan’s Jewel Box, “We saw love, and I don’t think it’s our judgment to tell people who can love each other.” Exclusion just doesn’t sit right with these good folks in the progressive, but still gracious place Charleston has become.
Many months before marriage equality unexpectedly came to South Carolina, the Alliance For Full Acceptance (AFFA) set out to use the economy talking point to advocate marriage equality in the South. Charleston being an already popular wedding destination makes it the perfect stage. With the help of 58
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Proceeds from the auction will go to AFFA’s continued work in making cultural change through education, advocacy, and media. LGBT citizens in the South still struggle with prejudice, bullying, and endangerment. Like other civil rights movements, we may soon attain “legal” equality, but “lived” equality will be long in coming. AFFA will keep its doors open as long as it takes.
Even more telling is that many of the vendors are Charleston flagships such as Patrick Properties, JMC Charleston, and Croghan’s Jewel Box, thus encouraging other vendors to
come along for the ride. All the participating vendors have proven themselves as the “go to” LGBT wedding vendors in Charleston and AFFA hopes that members of the community will refer and/or contract them when planning a wedding and say “thank you” for leading the way! The Say A Gay “I Do” in Charleston wedding package is a “one-stop shop” including wedding planner, sanctuary, reception space, catering, bartending, invitations, limousine, photography, wedding bands, and more. The winning couple will have the opportunity to make all decisions about their wedding (including date) within the donation boundaries set by the vendors. Wedding planner, Maryann Hoyt of The Event Cooperative, will coordinate the vendors and assist the couple in planning from “win to wed”. Some flexibility has been built into the package concerning guest count and other details. Considering the auction format, the $45,000 retail wedding could be a “steal” for some local or visiting couple. The newlyweds will be embraced by the most hospitable LGBTA community in the country. And they can be proud to know their union will help support LGBT equality in the South.
More specifics about the package can be found at Affa-SC.org. Bidding opens March 2, 2015.
SAY A GAY “I DO” PARTICIPATING VENDORS The American Theater Berlins for Women Croghan’s Jewel Box Crosby’s Dock D&M Productions David’s Tuxedos Rick Dean Photography The Event Cooperative Francis Marion Hotel GoCo Events JMC Charleston Limos For Less Lotus Flower MIX Premier Bartending Palmetto Carriage Patrick Properties The RSVP Shoppe Salthouse Catering Leah Suarez & Jazz Ensemble Sugar Bakeshop Uniquely Charleston Tours Unitarian Church of Charleston Leigh Webber Photography Vo Don Custom Framing BEAU -MAGAZINE.COM | 59
BEAU M AG | F O R OUR F UT UR E
BY MARIA RIVERS
Sympathy for a Sister State ON NOVEMBER 20, 2014, both fans and foes of equal rights were flabbergasted at legalized recognition of same-sex marriage in South Carolina. Just two days prior, another court ruling ordered the state to recognize same-sex marriages from other jurisdictions. With South Carolina (specifically Mount Pleasant and Charleston) growing at such escalating rates, this can only mean big business for the local economy. So why is the state of Georgia, where one of the largest LGBT populations in the south is concentrated (specifically in Atlanta), still not on board? Is morality the issue? If so, why? As Bill Clinton famously observed, “It’s the economy, stupid.” Economic considerations cannot be ignored when making policy decisions. It is always reassuring to think that it could have been moral reasons that led this ruling to become law immediately in South Carolina. That may have something to do with it. However, no one can ignore the huge bump in the economy that this new amendment will bring to one of the state’s premier wedding destinations. Atlanta and Savannah are also popular wedding destinations, as well as Tybee Island, so why is Georgia being so stubborn? Could the state lawmakers really be THAT morally disturbed with same-sex marriage as to rob their state of the economic upswing those marriages would propel? Andria Towne, locally known as A.T., is president of the Atlanta Gay Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (AGLCC). The AGLCC is a member-based 501(c) (6) representing the LGBT/Ally businesses. The AGLCC exists to promote the economic growth and advancement of our LGBT and allied business members, our non-profit organizational members, as well as corporate partners and their employees, through advocacy, leadership, education, and support. “There is no doubt that legal recognition of samesex marriage will have a huge economic impact on our economy,” says Towne. “Atlanta is recognized as one of the ‘gayest’ cities with one of the highest LGBT populations per capita in the nation. As many of our LGBT citizens make plans to get married,
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they currently have to travel to other cities to get legally married. Meaning [that] we are spending our money in markets other than our own. This represents millions of dollars of lost revenue each year.” At 5% of the population, Savannah, Georgia’s LGBT community comprises roughly 10,000 local citizens. President of Savannah Pride, Mark Hill, is positive that Georgia is close to repealing the ban on same-sex marriage. “We’re preparing. Gaysavannah.com had a wedding expo in 2014 with around 100 vendors,” says Hill. “It was very well attended. Over 25 LGBT couples participated in commitment ceremonies. Even though the state of Georgia didn’t recognize the ceremonies as legal, many came out to commit to each other. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house. It was breathtaking.” In most states, the people have spoken and the economic upswing is evident. It is clearly counterproductive for savvy politicians to cling to severe moral commitments against same-sex marriage, particularly if that prejudice results in economic repercussions for the state of Georgia. Indeed, it may actually be some sort of moral judgment based on lack of information. “Most hate and ignorance is bred by fear and a lack of understanding and awareness,” says Towne. “As our community becomes increasingly visible and active, I believe it will absolutely dispel a lot of fear and lack of understanding, hopefully resulting in more acceptance and inclusion among all of our communities.” Hall agrees that visibility is the key to unlocking this disconnect in communities. “I believe it will expel the division and animosity within other communities,” says Hall. “It puts us in the mainstream. We’re now equivalent to other marriages, so this would validate our relationships, not only to the outside but also within ourselves. I think the people who disagree are outnumbered, and in time the acceptance of it [same-sex marriage] being real and tangible will be fact.” At this point, Georgia is actively redirecting the profitable wedding industry to its sister state of South Carolina. While we welcome the boon to our economy, our hope is that Georgia, and all other hold-out states, will recognize both the monetary and ethical value of legalizing same-sex marriage.
Everyone deserves to be in good handsSM
I believe you have the right to feel safe being who you are, wherever you are - especially in my office. Let me help protect all that’s good in your life. Call me today for a quote. Philip Bradley 843-881-2886
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BEAU -MAGAZINE.COM | 61
BEAU M AG | B EAUDAC I OUS F OO D
B Y E M I LY D Z I U B A N
Green Goat Oyster Roast
ON T H E C O L D, RA IN Y DAY of January 3rd, many of Charleston’s LGBTA folks gathered to drink craft beer and eat steaming oysters with hot hushpuppies at one of The Green Goat’s monthly oyster roasts. Live music always plays inside while the beer and libations flow. Back in November, iconic local band Edisto Lane played old favorites like Tanya Tucker’s “Delta Dawn” and new songs like Lorde’s “Royals,” which got the crowd singing along and clapping. Kids ran amongst the crowd as the adults shucked local oysters. “We love The Green Goat,” said Cynthia Kennedy, who talked politics with Kat Morgan.
Last year on Halloween, owners Kelly Ruff and Jason Lewis got married at a Green Goat Oyster Roast where patrons offered their congratulatory messages using colored markers on a white poster. The Green Goat is decorated, literally, in green and goats. Kelly and Jason’s decoration theme includes green walls and green striped curtains along with random goat art and statues on shelves, in cubbyholes, and even on top of the beer taps. 62
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A mural featuring goats frolicking in a purple river near a grassy bank with a dinner table set for two covers the largest wall. It has become a tradition among locals to sit in chairs in front of the mural and pretend to be part of the painting with the goats. Chase Glenn, a fan of the eatery’s macaroni and cheese balls, says the community comes to The Green Goat for its mixed and diverse crowd. Angie Stephens appreciates the welcoming atmosphere and support for the LGBTA community. “They open the doors and no one feels judged here.” The Green Goat caters to all tastes, and its cuisine is best described as modern southern. As Kennedy says, “They are stylish dishes.” Offering options for those with food allergies and special diets, The Green Goat welcomes any and all questions about their ingredients. Fried green tomatoes, shrimp and grits, Po’ Boys with the choice of shrimp, oysters or catfish, grilled cheese, bone-in, antibiotic-free
B E AU MAG | BEAU DACIOU S FOOD
fried chicken and ham, and cheese stuffed meatloaf are on the menu along with dozens of other choices. Located at 1300 Savannah Highway in the area of Charleston known as West Ashley, The Green Goat is open every day except Monday. The full menu is available online at GreenGoatCharleston.com. Come out the first Saturday of every month until May for the Green Goat Oyster Roast, rain or shine!
BEAU -MAGAZINE.COM | 63
BEAU M AG | B EAU’ DI AC S
Sue’s Horoscopes IN TRADITIONAL HOROSCOPES, the smaller planets are normally used for more immediate readings. However, we will be using the major planets and their influence toward the next three months. Think of the predictions like that of a meteorologist. Just because he/she says that it’s going to rain, doesn’t necessarily mean that you will get wet. It’s more of a forecast so that one may better prepare themselves. It’s always your choice or response to the atmosphere that’s important.
PISCES Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that Venus is in the position that promises opportunities for romance this month, and bad old Saturn is in good shape, promising that any lessons will be pleasant and easily mastered. However (here it comes), Uranus is directly opposite your sun and will bring unwanted changes in every area of your life. Any new loves, jobs or possessions may not be keepers. The world around you is rapidly changing. Just know that this summer will bring Venus to nest in your trees so Uranus will begin to lose strength in a few months. 64
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I L L U S T R AT I O N BY
Mar y Marnell
ARIES Venus is in Capricorn, which isn’t the best place as far as you are concerned, dear Aries. While Mars will add to your naturally fiery soul, “Venus” can break your heart if you let them. Be cautious in the next few months. Stay creative and concentrate on
Good and bad influences are all over the place and hard to tell apart. Venus is square to your sun; think of it as squaring off to fight and that’s likely how your love life will go. At least for just the beginning of this spring. Tread lightly if you have a partner; they will be edgy with you because of
your work sphere.
your magnetism.
TAURUS
SCORPIO
This is creative juices flow time for you dear Taurus. Learning may not always be easy but with the “passion fairy” hovering, it can be VERY fun. You feel good and you look good! You’ll feel spring
The Saturn transit that you have been suffering through is about to end! Good news, good fortune, and all around good times are in your future. You have a little time left in this season to be in
in the air and in your step. Have fun with it!
the clear of the transit. Be careful of overdoing
GEMINI
time. Venus is positioning as possibilities and
Intuition is in high gear and there is opportunity for educational travel. Love is on hold this quarter. It’s time to have fun and grow in your mind and spirit. Get out there and have fun!
CANCER Okay, without sugarcoating it…be cautious with romance for a few months. If the wind blows the wrong direction with one of your playmates, you could truly have a rude awakening. Spring is springing so maybe concentrating on getting your physique summer ready is the best bet right now. You will reap the benefits this summer.
LEO Depending on your rising sun, love interests could be really good for you right now. It would be advantageous to get a professional reading if you would like intimate intuition about your love destiny. Strike now while the iron is HOT!
VIRGO If you haven’t wondered what is going on with the stars, you’re either very lucky or slightly insensitive (no offense). You are in the middle of an 18-month Saturn transect. We all get it every few years. It cleans our pipes right down to the bone
and overspending in this soon-to-be glorious opportunities are being formed. Hang in there! The chaos will subside soon.
SAGITTARIUS Don’t be jealous; you had Venus last month so just bask in the reflected glories. Besides, in the upcoming months you’ll have beautiful Jupiter to ease the way in everything that you do. As for love…it’s up to you now. With Uranus making all kinds of changes in your life, this could actually be fun for you!
CAPRICORN You hit the JACKPOT last February. Venus was in your lap smoothing out all the wrinkles, even those on your face. You look and feel younger and more invigorated than ever. Enjoy it! You may have just met or are about to meet the greatest love of your life. Nurture that love well!
AQUARIUS It is okay if you are in a love lull. Jupiter’s opposition wouldn’t bode well for making commitments right now. Poor judgment can accompany the overthinking that goes with bad Jupiter aspects. Aquarians tend to spend more time daydreaming than perusing real people anyway.
and teaches us all sorts of lessons. The trick is to decide which lessons you want and set them up yourself. Clean your closets (so to speak). Potential lovers or new friends may be in the horizon so it is best to use this time to purify your soul.
LIBRA Despite your love for balance, dear Libra, be prepared for a not-so-balanced LOVERcoaster.
Sue Handley BEAU -MAGAZINE.COM | 65
BEAU M AG | ASK AVA
ASK
Ava
Dear Ava, Marriage equality is great, but how do I ask for a prenup? My partner and I have been together for five years and want to tie the knot. Not to be negative, but it would make me feel better to have something in place that protected us both if things ever ended between us. Things happen, you know? The only problem is that I’m not sure how she would take it. It could go really badly. Help?
Dear Ava, I am a “straight looking” guy. How do I let the cute boys know that I’m single, gay and looking for a guy, especially if I’m in a mixed gay/straight crowd? First off, let me say I hate the labels we place on each other (“straight looking,” “gay acting,” “femme/butch”) but I won’t hold that against you. I think this world would be a better place if we all were just “people” and “individuals.” As far as your question is concerned, we are living in 2015 and most people have pretty open minds. If you see someone you are interested in, go up and say hi. This guy might turn out to be gay, or he might be straight. What is the worst that can happen? You might find your future husband! Or, you might find your next best friend. On the other hand, you might talk. He might be straight, not interested, and y’all never talk again, but you won’t find out if you don’t make that step. Don’t let the fear of rejection stop you from finding what the future might hold for you. Bo Bennett said it best: “Rejection is nothing more than a necessary step theZ Ipursuit of success!” 66 | B E AU -Min AGA N E. C OM
You should not feel badly about wanting and asking for a prenup. This is not only a document to protect yourself, but also your partner. The divorce rate ranges from 37% to 54% based on different research I found, which means there is basically a 50/50 chance your marriage will survive. A marriage can be viewed like a business with clear ideas and guidelines of how assets will be earned, spent and, perhaps, divided. There are some rules I think you should follow. Talk to your partner about prenups in general. Have an open two-way dialogue with each other about what terms each of you would require, or would not feel comfortable with. If you can’t have this type of honest conversation, then chances are you should reconsider the marriage entirely. Unfortunately, these conversations can become heated, so I recommend that once you start to draw up papers, you have a mediator. They will be aware of common issues that you might not have thought about, and will also make sure everyone stays calm and levelheaded. I wish you the best of luck, and hope you have met your soul mate. However, if you have not, then at least you both will be protected in the future!
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