Jan
25/16
In re - - Abe Berger Physical condition, poor Lung condition, bad Prognosis, unfavorable
Jan
25/16
In re - - Abe Berger Physical condition, poor Lung condition, bad Prognosis, unfavorable
Chapter One:
Life and Times of A. Berger
Chapter One: Life and Times of A. Berger 3
I was hoping for good news but instead I found
this note in my file. I guess that’s what I get for snooping around. My name is Abe Berger and I’m dead. Well I am now, but I wasn’t a couple of months ago. I died of Tuberculosis at JCRS (Jewish Consumptives Relief Society) on February 17 1917. I was 26 at the time of my death. Most of my life I lived in New York in the Bronx. I lived there with my sister Mary and my brother-in-law Max. I loved Mary very much, she was the oldest. Max and I got along very well, he was like a brother. The family loved him because he treated my sister like a queen. Ever since I met him, I knew Mary would marry him. I had another older sister too, but I really didn’t talk to her much. She married a man that the rest of the family didn’t care for much.
My parents died when I was only 8 when we still lived in Connecticut. I don’t remember what really happened. I guess it’s one of those memories that I repressed. There would be times as I grew up that I wanted to know what happened, but I never asked my sisters. My sisters were in their twenties when this happened so they took the role of parents. Around the time my parents died was when Mary met Max and they began dating. They dated for a couple of years and when I was ten, they decided to move to the Bronx. Both my sister gave me the choice of where I wanted to go. I wanted to live somewhere new and exciting so I moved with Mary and Max. Once we got there, Mary let me do whatever I wanted. I tried going to school, but it wasn’t my thing. I spent most of my time doing odd jobs around the city. Whatever money I made was partly used to help Mary and
Max. My parents always taught me that nothing in life was free and that I should always find a way help out the family. Max had a great job as a tailor and Mary helped take care of an old lady. Between them they both made enough money to live comfortably, but I liked paying my own way. When I was looking for some odd jobs one day, a stranger told me that he heard that they needed help in the subway. I’ve only ridden the subway once before then as it was something new. The subway just open a year ago, in 1904.
I was still a kid when I went to apply, just barely
reached my teens. I felt like I was old enough to get a job there. The subway station was less than a mile away from Mary’s place so I figured it would be a good place to work since it was close. I went to the station on a sunny Monday morning
Chapter One: Life and Times of A. Berger 5
and sure enough, they needed help. They were worried about my age so they had me doing small jobs around the station. As the days went, I started to learn more about the actual trains. Those trains were bigger than anything I’ve ever seen in my life. I wanted to learn more about them and how they worked. One day I decided to wander into the train yard. I was still amazed at how big these trains were. I found one of the trains had all the doors open and decided to check it out. Just as I was about to take a step in the train I hear “What the hell are you doing here kid!” from behind me. I turned around and recognized the face yelling at me. I didn’t know his name but I’ve seen him around the station a couple of times. He was one of the main mechanics. Just by looking at his face, he didn’t look much older than 18.
I looked at him and said “Oh, nothing, I just just looking around. I’m interested to learn how these work.” He looked at me as he was trying to remember who I was. “Hey aren’t you Abe?”, he said. “Yeah, but how did you know? I only been here a couple of days.” I said with a confused look on my face. He looked at me and said “I’ve heard a lot of good things about you. The boss man says you’re a hard worker. He thinks you have a lot of potential here.” I was glad to hear this because I always wonder what people think about me. There are times that I feel that I’m just not doing enough and that I should be doing more. “Do you really want to learn more about how these trains work?” He said. All I did was nod. “Okay,” he said “I’ll talk to the boss and see if he’ll let you follow me around for a couple of days. I can teach you how we keep these things from breaking down.
Chapter One: Life and Times of A. Berger 7
Oh, by the way, my name is Sam, Sam Hyman.” We shook hands and then he excused himself because he had to a lot of work done before his shift was over. I figured I should get back to work as well. My duties for the day were to pick up any trash I saw. It wasn’t the most exciting job, but I had a job and that’s what mattered.
The next day I was excited to go to work on
the chance that I might be helping out Sam. This would be my first time working on any type of machine. I left for work early that day. As I was approaching the station, I heard someone yell my name from behind me. It was Sam and he was running trying to catch up. “I talked to the boss and he said it would be good for you to follow me around. I could teach you a couple of things about the trains and you can be a mechanic.” he
said. I was excited and couldn’t wait to get started. I asked him when I started and all he said was “Follow me.” I spent the next couple of months learning from Sam. He taught me everything he knew about the trains. We slowly started to become best friends. In some ways, he became like a father figure to me, even though he was only a couple of years older. He was very mature for his age, as he lost his parents at a young age as well. They died when their house caught on fire.
It was on an August night, he remembers it being very hot. He was asleep when the fire started in the kitchen. The fire started to spread throughout the house. He somehow managed to escape with his little sister. His parents didn’t make it out
of the fire. Sam and his sister now had to find somewhere to live. The only family they had was an aunt and uncle up north. Both Sam and his sister loved their aunt, but hated their uncle. He was a drunk, an angry drunk and would always beat on his wife. One night after some heavy drinking, his uncle started beating his aunt. This was the 5th time this had happen since they moved in and Sam had enough of it and decided to do something about it. While his uncle was busy beating his aunt, Sam ran outside to find something to hit his uncle with. He ended up finding a piece of wood, a 4x4, in the backyard. He ran back inside, dashed into the living room and hit his uncle right in the back of the head as hard as he could.
Unfortunately, it didn’t do much damage but it was enough to stund his uncle. His aunt ran away and went into her bedroom. His uncle slowly turned around and faced Sam. He didn’t say anything, just stared right at Sam. Then he backhanded him as hard as he could. Sam fell back, tears swelling up in his eyes. “After everything I’ve done for you, you little shit, this is how you repay me? I took you in when you had nothing. How dare you fucking hit me. Take your retarded sister and get the fuck out of my house.” His uncle cocked his arm back ready to swing at him again when out of nowhere they heard “Don’t lay another hand on him!”. It was his aunt behind Sam holding a gun. She had it pointed at his uncle, ready to shoot. “Grab as much of your belongings as you can kids!” she screamed “And hurry!” Sam ran into his room and packed as
Chapter One: Life and Times of A. Berger 9
much as he could fit in his suitcase. When he was done he ran back into the living room where no one had moved. Sam had never seen such rage in his aunt’s eyes. It felt like in any moment that the gun was going to go off. Sam and his sister got behind his aunt. They slowly moved towards the front door, circling around his uncle. His aunt turned the knob with one hand, and with the other she still had the gun pointed at his uncle. As soon as there was enough room to get through, Sam and his sister ran right out of the house. His aunt was the last one out the door and slammed it behind her. That was the last time Sam ever saw or heard from his uncle.
I work at the station in the Bronx for the
next couple of years. Sam and I became a great mechanic team, wherever he went I went and
vice versa. One summer we were both offered a job in New York City. It made more sense if we just moved there so that way we didn’t have to commute everyday. We had couple of weeks to think about it. Sam said yes right away, he couldn’t wait to leave the Bronx. Plus the new job would pay will 13 dollars a week, which was four dollars more than what we were making here. I wanted to go as well and was excited, but I first had to convince my sister to let me go. When I got home that night I asked Mary about letting me go. She was worried about me being there by myself, but I told her that I would be living with Sam. After a week of me asking her and begging her, she finally agreed to let me go. Her only condition was that I would check in every once in a while. She just wanted to make sure that I was okay.
The next day Sam and I told the boss that we
would take the job. That night after work, I went home and started packing even though the job didn’t start for another week. Sam and I decided to go to New York City that weekend to look for a place to live. I had a bit of money saved up from working the past years and so did Sam. We both wanted a nice tenement, something close to the subway station as the job would sometimes ask for late nights. New York City was massive. Although the Bronx isn’t too far away, this place seemed like a whole new world to me. The city was so crowded, it felt like you could barely breathe. There was something strange about the place, there was something dirty about it. Even though it looked over-populated and full of
disease, we were both excited about starting a new life and a new job. Being in a new big city would bring great things... or at least we both hoped it would. We found a place, it was small, but it was something we both could afford.
Sunday rolled around and that morning we left
back to the Bronx. When we got there, I worked on finishing up packing the rest of my things. I didn’t have too much, but it was enough to fill up three medium size boxes. While packing, I wondered how much Sam was taking with him. It was a small place and I didn’t want to hog too much space. After giving it much thought, I decided to take only a few things. I also took with me a pair of reading glasses and the only memory I had of my dad, his gold watch. My sister kept it until she thought I was old enough to treasure it
Chapter One: Life and Times of A. Berger 11
and keep it safe. I don’t know why, but I always felt at peace whenever I held the gold watch. It still worked, but I never took it with me. I kept it safe in a box. It was an old cigar box I found when I was a kid. I loved to smell it, the velvet that lined the box inside kept the scent of the cigars. I put the cigar box in the box with the other things I was taking with me. Magically, everything seemed to fit into one box. Once I was done packing, it started to sink in that I would be moving, that I would be somewhat starting a new life. I couldn’t help but to smile and get excited about what this new life would bring. Maybe money? Maybe love? Maybe happiness? Whatever it would bring, I never though anything bad would come.
Chapter Two:
Moving On Up
Chapter Two: Moving On Up 15
The following week flew by. In fact, I don’t even
remember much of it. I was too excited about moving and starting my new life and new job with my best friend. Friday was here faster than I though it would and it was our last day of work. It was time to say my farewells, I made my rounds, gave my pounds and hugs, and promised to visit as much as I could. That night I had dinner with Mary and Max. Mary was a wonderful cook, she said she learned from mom. I always asked her what mom and dad were like since I didn’t remember much. She really never told much about them. Every time I would bring it up, she said it was too painful to think about. I respected that, it was even hard for me to bring it up. Dinner that night was amazing, it would be the thing I would miss the most. When we finished dinner, we sat around and just talked for a couple of hours.
I was getting ready to retired to my room when Mary stopped me. She said Max and her had a surprise for me. I wasn’t expecting any type of gift from her. She had me close my eyes and put out my hands. “Are your eyes closed?” she asked. I nodded and then she placed something in my hands. I kept my eyes closed for a bit as I tried to figure out what it was. It felt like some type of book. I had to open my eyes now and see what it was. It was a checkbook. I was a little bit confused. “Mom once told me that if anything happened to her or dad that I had to raise you to be a responsible adult. What’s more responsible than having a bank account. Max and I opened one for you and we made sure there was one at where you were going. There’s 50 dollars in the account, think of it as a going away present.” I was so happy. I hugged her as hard as I could
and thanked her from the bottom of my heart. I thanked Max as well and told them both that I would make them proud. I told them both good night and went to my room. The checkbook went right into the cigar box with my dad’s gold watch. It was late and I tired so hard to go to bed but was too excited to sleep. Saturday morning came and I met up with Sam early as we were riding together. We arrived at our tenement and got settled in. All we did that weekend was unpack and rest. The weekend past by slowly. I must have been wanting to go to work that bad that it made time slow down. Monday came by and it was time to meet the new boss. He was a friendly man and was excited to have us there. He had heard that we worked better as a team and therefore we worked together.
Years passed by and Sam and I became the
head mechanics at this station. Thanks to us, the subway trains ran on time everyday. As soon as we heard anything about a train malfunctioning, we went and took care of it. The boss told us we were doing an amazing job and even gave us a raise. We were now making 15 dollars an hour, that was a lot for me at the time.Yeah, life was good. New York City was also treating us well. Sam and I made some really good friends. We would hang out with them during the weekends and such. It was during one of these outings that I noticed something. The people of the city were sick. Everywhere we went, people were coughing. It felt like we couldn’t get away from it. It was everywhere. They called it the white plague and it seemed to be spreading to every part of the
Chapter Two: Moving On Up 17
city. No one was safe. Not babies nor adults.It was something that was always in the back of my mind, but I didn’t worry about it too much. I felt unstoppable at work and I never felt like I was at risk. I took care of myself and rarely got sick. However, one day I did get sick and it turned out to be tuberculosis. I can almost pin-point the day I caught it.
It was on a Tuesday afternoon. Sam and I were
returning to work after our lunch break. We were walking down the street and there was a crowd of people walking towards us. Sam and I parted ways as to not run into the crowd. As we passed them, an older man started coughing really bad. I stopped and asked him if he was okay. The man looked right at me, he had a look on his face as if he knew death was near. He was
about to speak when he started coughing again. His hands weren’t quick enough to cover his mouth and he managed to cough right in my face. I was disgusted but I didn’t get mad. He apologized many times and I kept on telling him it was alright. He said sorry once more and we both went our ways. I wiped my face with my handkerchief and caught up with Sam. He saw what just happened and asked me if I was alright. I told him I was fine, it was nothing. He looked worried as if he knew something that I didn’t. “That man looked really sick.” he said, “It looks like he might have the white plague.” Now I started to get a little worried. I tried to get the thought about that man coughing on me earlier out of my head the rest of the day. The day was busy with things to get done here and there so it kept my mind busy and I forgot all about it.
Chapter Two: Moving On Up 19
It wasn’t until the walk back home when I started to think about it again. We passed by the place where it happened and I got this sick feeling in my stomach. I told myself that I shouldn’t worry and everything would be alright. It’s funny how we lie to ourselves just to feel better. Sam and I made dinner and after we ate I went straight to bed. I wasn’t tired nor ready to go to bed. I just laid there thinking about what would I do if I did catch tuberculosis from that man. It kept on running in my mind, the more I tired to not think about it, the more I did. It wasn’t until after midnight that I finally drifted to sleep.
Weeks past by and I forgot all about the man. I
decided to go visit my sister during the weekend. I arrived there late Friday evening, just in time for dinner. I forgot how amazing her cooking was, it
was something I missed while being away from home. After dinner we sat around and started to catch up. She asked me about work and how that was going. I told her how much I loved it and how Sam and I made a great team. She was happy to hear that. Her fear was that I actually hated my job but didn’t feel like saying anything about it. It was getting late and we all decided to go to bed. I wanted to tell her about what happened with that old man many weeks ago, but I thought that I shouldn’t worry her. I went upstairs to my old room. My bed was just as confortable as I remembered it. Everything was left the same. It was nice to fall asleep in a familiar place.
Chapter Three:
All Falls Down
Chapter Three: All Falls Down 23
The following morning I woke up not feeling
well at all. I felt tired and had a small cough. Mary was already up making breakfast and I told her I wasn’t feeling well. She took a look at me and put her hand on my forehead to check for a temperature. She said that I didn’t feel warm and that I might just be catching a cold. I told her that she might be right and sat down to have breakfast. The rest of the day I spent helping Mary around the house with things that needed to be done since Max was out of town that week. Throughout the day I started to feel better and I knew I would be alright. We had dinner later than evening and then I went to bed. The next day I woke up and felt great. I was ready to head back home. Mary made breakfast for me again that day. Shortly after that, I said my good-byes and headed back.
A week past by and I started to feel sick again. This time it didn’t go away. It started with coughing then I started having chest pains. Over the next couple of weeks I started to have chills and night sweats. Then a fever started to emerge. Still, I thought it wasn’t anything, I thought I just picked up a bug somewhere. During this time I still went to work. I tried to work like nothing was bothering me but I always felt tired. It didn’t matter what I did, I would still be tired. I even started going to bed earlier at night to see if that helped. Nothing worked. Sam was still worried about me. He didn’t think I had a bug, he really felt like I had tuberculosis. I didn’t believe him, or maybe it was that I didn’t want to believe him. It wasn’t until the day I coughed up a little bit of blood that I knew something was wrong and I needed to see someone about it.
That weekend I decided to go see Mary and tell her what was going. She was surprised to see me so soon. I guess it was a while last time between visits. We hugged and went inside where we went into the living room and sat down. Then I told her everything, how the old man coughed on me and now how sick I was. She didn’t have to say anything, I knew what she was thinking. She wanted me to move back. I asked her that and all she did was nod. As much as I didn’t want to, I knew it was the best thing to do. I didn’t argue, she was right. It was better for me to be there with her so that way so could take care of me. I wasn’t worried about my job as much as I was worried about how I was going to tell Sam.
The next day Mary went back with me to New York City to help me pack my stuff up. Sam was still home when we got there. As soon as he saw Mary he knew what was going on. “It’s for the best.” he assured me. “Go back home, rest up, feel better so we can be the best at work once more.” I was glad that Sam was okay with me leaving. “What are you going to do about rent?” I asked. He told me not to worry about that, just to take care of myself and feel better. Mary helped me pack up my things. Once we finished up, I say my farewells to Sam. He told me he would visit as much as he could and not to worry about the job. He would let the boss know what’s going on. I thanked him for everything. We hugged and I said goodbye. Soon after that Mary and I headed back home where I would only be getting worse.
Chapter Three: All Falls Down 25
The months past by slowly. I was in bed most of
the time. The family doctor would come check up on me every couple of weeks. He would always say the same thing. It never looked good. Sam would come at least once a month. He would come and we would just around and talk about old times. We talked about things like when we first met and working in the Bronx. I was always excited when he came. It was nice talking to someone else other than the doctor, Mary, or Max. He would stay over the weekend in the spare bedroom. He told me that the city was starting to become overrun by the white plague. Everywhere he went, he heard more and more about people getting sick and dying. He had also heard about people going over to Denver Colorado to seek treatment. The next day I told Mary about what
Sam said. She asked me if it was something that I was willing to do. I said I would be willing to try anything since I wasn’t getting any better here. She said she would start asking around. A couple of days later she found out some news about the place. The places was called The Jewish Consumptives Relief Society or JCRS for short. It was in Denver and they took in anyone with tuberculosis, no matter what stage it was in. It was the perfect place because of all the sunshine. It sounded like I needed to be out there. For the first time in a year I felt a little bit of hope. I felt like I might get better and everything would be alright. I had money saved up in the bank that I could make the trip and pay for somewhere to live while I waiting to get into JCRS since there was a bit of a wait. Mary wanted to come along with me
Chapter Three: All Falls Down 27
at least until I got in. I told her there was no need and that I would be fine. It would be a long trip there on train, around 40 hours, but at least this way I would be able to see a couple of different states. It was once again time to start packing up my things, the exact same things I took with me when I moved to New York City. Mary came with me to the train station that day. Max wanted to come along as well, but he was pretty backed up at his shop. We arrived at the station and I thanked Mary for everything she had done for me. I was so happy that someone that cared so much for me. She did everything in her power while I was living to make sure I was comfortable. I loved my sister so much, I didn’t want to leave her. As we headed over to the train platform, I heard a familiar voice behind me. “Hey Abe!” It was
Sam. I was happy to see him. It was great to see my best friend again before I left. I smiled as he ran up to us to catch up. “Boy am I glad to see you. I thought I missed your train.” He was just as excited I was to see him. We talked a little bit before I had to go. It was time for me to go. I said my goodbyes to the both of them. I hoped that this wouldn’t be the last time I saw them both.
The train ride was long but I slept most of the
way. In some ways I was kind of disappointed because I wanted to see the scenery. Oh well I thought, I’ll just have to stay up on the way back whenever I head back to New York. When I arrived in Denver the first place I went was JCRS to fill out an application. There were so
many people there doing the same thing I was. People were here from many different places and in different stages of tuberculosis. I didn’t want to stay there too long so I filled out the paper work and as soon as I was done, headed back downtown. I figured I should send Mary a telegram letting her know that I had arrived and was doing okay. I should also find a place to stay until the application process was done. I went downtown and sent Mary the telegram and started looking around for a place. I asked around and people kept telling me I should stay over at the Astor Hotel on Broadway. It sounded good to me and so I went there. The price wasn’t bad so I decided that would be the place I stayed. I figured I would be there at least a week or so. It shouldn’t be that long I thought to myself. I was
wrong about that too. It took about five weeks before I heard anything back. Those five weeks were the longest weeks of my life. I felt like I was wasting away as I was losing weight everyday and I started to feel worse within those weeks. As soon as I found out I was accepted, I packed up my belongings and headed over to JCRS.
It seemed like a friendly place and I noticed
everyone was in high spirits. I was a little bit depressed when I got there and didn’t talk to anyone unless I had to. The past couple of years of my life did that to me. Every since I became sick, I haven’t felt like myself. I was mad at the world for doing this to me. Before I got sick, I was happy. I had a great job, great friends, and a great life. To me, there was no point in being happy if I was going to die. It was a sick mind
Chapter Three: All Falls Down 29
set I was in. I had never been an asocial type of person, but I felt like being that type of person while I was here. I kept thinking to myself that I shouldn’t make friends here just in case they died or I died. There was no point in making friends just to cry over them if they died. What was I thinking? Looking back at it now, I can’t believe I was thinking like this. It’s amazing how someone can have such a great outlook in life can change in an instant. Maybe I was thinking like this because I wasn’t feeling good and I didn’t feel like I was going to get better anytime soon. I used to stay positive about everything and always told myself everything was going to be alright. I wasn’t sure about that anymore. I felt my body slowly giving up everyday. It made me think that maybe in my mind I should too. It wasn’t hard to when everyone around me was dying.
I was at JCRS for two years. Even now after my
death, those years are kind of a blur. I can’t even remember what I would do on a regular basis. I remember being wheeled around a lot. It was soon that I started getting worse. I remember one day asking how I was doing but they wouldn’t tell me. That’s why I decided that night to look around and see if I could find my file and see for myself how I was doing. There were many papers in my file, most of them didn’t have anything to do with my condition. I found a small piece of paper. The ink still looked fresh, it couldn’t of been but a day old. I was shocked when I read it. The paper read: Physical condition, poor Lung condition, bad Prognosis, unfavorable
I knew I wasn’t doing too well but it’s harder to read it and knowing that you’re right. I wasn’t getting any better. I was dying and there was nothing could be done. It was over. That was the point where I just gave up. I mean, what else could I do? No one could help me. What was the point of trying? I was doomed to die at this place. There was a couple of times after than I thought about just going back home. I stopped myself from going back because I didn’t want to put my death on May.
A couple of weeks went by. Some more went
by. For two weeks I was in a coma. Then, I died. It was over. I died. I am not even sure if anyone there care. I had made no friends while here, no one cared. People died there everyday, what made me so different?
The day I died, they sent Mary and Sam a
telegram telling them that I died. I wonder what when through their minds when they saw that. I’m sure they were both heart broken. I wish I was able to say goodbye. I loved them both very much. Mary became my mother and Sam was like a brother. I wish I would of taken the time to tell them how happy I was to have them in my life, how it was because of them, I was who I was. I wish I didn’t spend the last couple of months as depressed as I was. I should of enjoyed life for a little bit longer. I hope that someday we can meet up again and talk about the good old times.
Chapter Three: All Falls Down 31
If I die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take. But please don’t cry, just know that I have made this for you. And if I die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take. I’m ready for the funeral.
JCRS, Jewish Consumptives Relief Society, was
founded in 1903 by a group of Jewish immigrants. Among these men were Dr. Charles Spivak. The place was establish for the treatment of patients in any stage of tuberculosis. These patients were allowed to stay as long as they like, most of them staying until their death. The reason that made Denver the perfect place was because of its fresh air and sunshine. For the first 50 years JCRS was know by its address of Spivak, Colorado. JCRS functioned as a sanatorium until 1954 when they changed its name and focus and became the American Medical Center for Cancer Research.
Credits Patient Records Courtesy of Dr. Jeanne Abrams JCRS Collection Beck Archives Special Collections Penrose Library and Center for Judaic Studies University of Denver, 2009
Colophon Book Title Prestige Elite Std Bold 12 pt Body Copy Bembo Std Regular 9 pt Folio Bembo Semibold 12 pt Paper Strathmore Script Soft White Smooth 80 cover Stab Binding
A book by Arturo Vargas July 31, 2009