Humor
by Angela Larson
‘Successful’ Housework, Redefined
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here is nothing that makes me want to puke – and I mean spew vomit 15 miles per hour 40 feet across the room – than “experts” telling me how “successful” people manage their housework. I succumb, again and again, and read the articles thinking maybe I’ve missed something. It’s fantastic that some people can afford to hire someone to clean, but my reality is different. I would have to work an extra three hours to pay someone for three hours of cleaning. So I’ve changed my attitude: Housework is not all bad. Here are seven family values in clean up duty: Fostering Living Skills. I’m in constant amazement at how perfectly fingers are designed for eating. However, I don’t want my utensil-starved children to enter college without understanding the basics of fork and knife engagement. I say, let them experience silverware. Move it from the table to sink, from dishwasher to drawer, and maybe they’ll get curious about why we have forks and knifes.
Cooking is Life. My children love to eat, to work with hand tools, and are willing to help tenderize anything – they are boys. At ages 7 and 9 they knew how to make a skateboard park out of a roasting pan, stage “singing in the rain” with a chicken under the faucet, and stuff veggies in it’s rump for fire power. Chefs may call this buttering the pan, cleaning and dressing the chicken, but I’ll call it whatever is required to have kitchen help.
Gathering Laundry for Covert Communications. Routinely changing someone’s sheets and emptying their pants pockets before stuffing it all in the wash offers a wealth of information. It ranges from the cookie crumbs and the pizza crust in their bed sheets that tell me when they are breaking house rules and eating in their room to the more sophisticated hints of their life beyond home. Recently a young Stephanie [name changed to protect the innocent] was so desperate to tell my son he’s cute that she wrote it down and handed it to him. He left it in his pocket.
Groceries Offer Educational Opportunities. A grocery store trip was the stuff of nightmares until we started a game called “seek, find and fill our shopping cart.” The shopping help is great, but they have learned much more including: Resource Allocation. I like to give them a list of ingredients for their favorite meal and a budget $5 too short to pay for it all. They have amazed me with their cost saving strategies, from choosing cheaper brands, altering recipes to exclude vegetables, and even conspiring trades with each other.
Doing Laundry is Fun! If kids can work a remote, video game and/or any smart screen, then they can figure out a washing machine and dryer.
Bathroom Clean Up Supports Better Hygiene. “Hey mom, what’s the sticky yellowish-brown stuff on the floor?” asks my naive youngest son, on his
82 Atlanta Parent March 2014
knees spraying cleaner around the toilet. “It’s dried pee,” I reply. “Next time, don’t sprinkle when you tinkle.” “Oh, I get what you mean… now.” Enough said. Enjoying a Sense of Completion. Completed housework means a clean home. There is satisfaction gained in the dishes being done, being able to walk across the floor barefoot without sticking, and sitting on the couch without being poked. Housework isn’t the problem, it’s how we’ve been told to view housework that needs improvement. c atlantaparent.com