T& hethePrincess Frog
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ne fine evening, a young princess put on her brogues and went out to take a walk by herself in the woods, because the autumn weather would look sick on her Instagram. The princess sat down to rest a while, having tired herself out thinking up variations on #princesslife. Then all of a sudden, a comment complimenting her use of brown and yellow filter on a brown and yellow backdrop caused her to let out a squeal of joy and drop her phone into a pond! She wasn’t worried about the phone – as the princess was quite sure her smartphone was waterproof. But she was much more worried about getting her clothes wet. So she began to cry.
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s her tears fell, a green frog, who had been watching proceedings unfold, popped his head out of the pond and said, “Princess, why do you weep so bitterly?” “What can you do for me, nasty frog?” said she, “My phone has fallen into the pond!” The frog croaked, “If you will just give me one kiss. I’ll get your phone for you, princess.” Unbeknownst to the princess, the frog had once been a content marketer who was cursed to the life of an amphibian after implementing a series of dodgy backlinks. Only a kiss from a princess would restore him. ‘What nonsense,’ thought the princess, ‘Why would I want to kiss a silly, slimy frog? Nevertheless, he might be able to get my phone, I shall tell him he can have what he asks!’
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o she said to the frog, “Well, if you get my phone – I will do all you ask.�
Then the little frog dipped his head down under the water and came up with the phone in his froggy mouth and tossed it to the edge of the pond. The frog climbed out of the water and stretched out his froggy legs. He closed his froggy eyes and puckered his froggy lips and waited for the kiss free him from his froggy prison. But the kiss never came. He cracked open one eye and saw, to his dismay, the princess running off into the distance, live tweeting about her awful experience. Froggy legs are good for many things, but not for running after princesses. He would have to take a different approach to earn her trust.
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@frogfacts
Kissing a frog is healthy
Frog Facts @frogfacts
@frogfacts
Princesses kissing frogs live longer
Tweet
@frogfacts
10 reasons why you should kiss a frog @Cinderella
@frogfacts I'd love to kiss a frog
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nd being a content marketer he knew just what to do.
When he got back to his pond the frog content marketer got to work. He set up the twitter channel @frogfacts and regularly posted about how great frogs are. He posted to industry chats for amphibians, and shared videos from Planet Earth and re-tweeted other famous frogs-like creatures, such as Kermit, Mr Toad, and Nigel Farage (but not too many from the latter), and soon had lots of followers. 4
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e reached out to other princesses and influencers that his princess followed. Sure enough the princess began to see the frog on her wall frequently. And she started to think, ‘Maybe this nasty frog isn’t so nasty after all. But I still wouldn’t kiss him.’ But the frog content marketer wasn’t done. He had built his reputation within the princess industry and worked out some of their strongest sites by using a range of SEO tools (not Screaming Frog).
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The health benefits of kissing frogs
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o publications such as The Daily Princess and Princess Health Weekly he emailed their editors if they were interested in his big data piece on the ‘Benefits of Kissing Frogs’. As these were the princesses’ favourite publications to read every day she saw all these amphibious stories and thought to herself, “Dear me, perhaps I should have kissed that frog after all!”
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he ran all the way back to the pond in search of the frog. She found the amphibian ready and waiting, and promptly picked him up and gave him a peck, right on his froggy lips!
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a-da! Just like that, the frog was freed from his froggy form and transformed back into a content marketer. Remembering what the princess had done previously, the content marketer promptly turned on his heel and made for the hills before she could open her eyes.
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ealising what had happened, the princess went home in a huff and started up the twitter channel @itoadallyhatefrogs.
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The End