Seven Days, December 8, 1999 by Seven Days

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CO-PUBUSHERS/EDITORS Pamela Polston, Paula Routly CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Peter Freyne STAFF WRITER Erik Esckilsen ART DIRECTION Donald Eggert, Tara Vaughan-Hughes PRODUCTION MANAGER Lucy Howe CIRCULATION/CLASSIFIEDS/ PERSONALS Glenn Severance SALES MANAGER Rick Woods ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES David Booth, Michelle Brown, Eve Jarosinski, Colby Roberts, Diane Sullivan CALENDAR WRITER Gwenn Garland CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Marc Awodey, Nancy Stearns Bercaw, Flip Brown, Marialisa Calta, John Dillon, Peter Freyne, Jeff Fuccillo, Anne Galloway, Paul Gibson, David Healy, Ruth Horowitz, Jeanne Keller, Kevin J. Kelley, Rick Kisonak, Peter Kurth, Lola, Melanie Menagh, Andrew Nemethy, Ron Powers, Glenn Severance, Headier Stephenson, Molly Stevens, Matthew Taylor, Pip Vaughan-Hughes, David Weinstock, Margy Levine Young, Jordan Young PHOTOGRAPHER Matthew Thorsen ILLUSTRATORS Paul Antonson, Gary Causer, Paula Myrick, Sarah Ryan, Sean Sims

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If the Pope can abolish Hell, what theological concept would you do away with? Papal infallibility, since his decision about Hell calls that whole concept into question. — Matt Whyte Owner, Vermont Homebrew Supply Winooski Angels. People should think of themselves as free agents, and the idea that there are beings hovering over us, regulating our activities, is poisonous. — Paul Searls Deejay, WRUV Burlington

BRIT LECTURE OFFENSIVE What the heck is the logic of having a self-proclaimed, newly arrrived Brit to the States giving us a lecture in Seven Days about the frightful state of firearms in the US of A in your "Crank Call" column [November 10]? The English just happen to be the most low-life, egregious cultural phenomenon of the past 300 years, and what do you expect from a society in denial? An oh-so-pleasant accent, which is convenient to huckster Vermont products? Well, I did not hear it reading this column. "You'll have to forgive me if I exclude Northern Ireland here, for obvious reasons." Well, God bless them. The Irish are armed for a good reason, and it has nothing to do with the English sheep; it has everything to do with the inbred overlords of an island empire who've been responsible for covert capitalism in every corner of the globe and who exert a great influence on the capital of the USA, armed to the teeth or not. Their influence of atrocities on a pleasant people, of whom I am proud to claim my ancestry in the north of Ireland, does not preclude that they should be in a position to proclaim a pious attitude toward any violence in a country where they have a most pervasive influence. I'm not a gun-toting capitalist, and in actuality I'm quite the opposite, although hunting is as necessary as winter gear in our northern tier. I am

totally offended that you should include the perspective of an expatriate Brit, in self-denial, as a logical perspective which emanates from Vermont and the North country. Jeez, what are we, low-life compost worms without a clue? — Damian O. Gormley Saranac, New York METHADONE DOESN'T WORK Upon reading the Seven Days article, "Heroin Worship" [November 10], I was surprised at your publication's obvious support of methadone maintenance in Vermont. I should note that as a former IV heroin/cocaine addict, I was incarcerated, lived on the streets of New York, was in countless rehabs and detoxes, and, in pertaining to this letter, was on and off numerous methadone maintenance programs in Baltimore, Washington and New York. So, I feel that I can say with some expertise, methadone maintenance does not work. It did not work for me, and it did not work for every other heroin addict that I have known. Yes, it is replacing one addiction with another but, moreover, statistics, as well as my own personal experience, show us that some 90 percent of methadone users continue to use other drugs, i.e., IV cocaine, Amitriptylin and even heroin. Oh, but I forgot, "Nina" is not addicted to cocaine. Everybody bangs a few dimes of coke in their arm every now and again, right?

Granted, what works for one does not always work for another. I got help in residential rehab and got in touch with why I wanted to destroy myself. Some use AA, NA, while others seek out a higher power. But too often I have witnessed the so-called "methadone solution" destroying lives instead of helping them. Why seek treatment, why be drug-free if you can get a Dixie cup full of smack every morning for the rest of your life? "Nina," I wish you well. — William Fleming Montpelier DEAN'S METHADONE OPPOSITION INSENSITIVE Dean's opposition to the legalization of methadone in Vermont is insensitive and impractical ["User Friendly," November 10]. Particularly shameful is the fact that he leverages his medical credentials to substantiate his unenlightened position. Coming from a progressive politician who boasts of health-care successes, this stubborn refusal to allow addicts safe and pragmatic treatment is sanctimonious and cruel. Few would disagree with the Governor's assertion that methadone simply trades one addictive drug for another. From a merely clinical standpoint, yes, this is a less than perfect trade. However, methadone programs have also helped millions of disenfranchised addicts swap chasing the dragon for tracking down a job; exchange

SUPPORT CO-OP Bona fide bonanzas! Burlingtonians, face your point-of-no-return chance to stand up and be counted! Get behind getting the Onion River Food Co-op onto Winooski Avenue —

Continued on page 26

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Original sin. — Kate Ackermann Salesperson, Zutano Montpelier Down with guilt, up with fun and fantasy! — Penelope Fenyvest Co-owner, 4 Dogs & A Wish Middlebury

petty crime and prostitution for community srevice and education. Where would you prefer HIV- or hepatitisinfected addicts, Governor? In a somewhat controlled rehabilitation program with a reasonable chance of success, or turning tricks and running scams? Perhaps the answer to this question is that Dean doesn't care what junkies do as long as they don't do it in Vermont. He admits this when expressing his concern that addicts would flock to Vermont if methadone were available. Aside from being absurd and xenophobic, this fear could be addressed with waiting-period policies. Shouldn't we reach addicts before they suffer irreparable damage from disease and depravity? Isn't it cheaper to treat the addict rather than the AIDS patient? Shouldn't we view drugs as a public health concern rather than a criminal issue? Isn't it your job to represent all of the people, and aren't you concerned about those who might need our help the most? Governor, please don't just say no. — Elisa Fitzgerald Lincoln

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Kafka on Ice

coming" he said. "I haven't had one person come up to me and say UVM was right. Not one perSo here's where we stand on the UVM son's come up to me in defense of UVM." Hockey Pucks Hazing Scandal. Better sit down Hockey Coach Mike Gilligan told the press for this one, because it's positively a Kafkaesque that what the players did wasn't that "serious." example of a university's tortuous bureaucratic According to whose standards?" asks J.J., and and totalitarian response to a potentially embar"How do we know?" rassing situation. And the veteran sports broadcaster doesn't The head honchos at the University of expect the story to go away soon. That's because Vermont have concluded the investigation — the local press will have to "take attendance" at they won't say by whom — of allegations of misthe remaining hockey games to see who is not conduct by members of the men's hockey team — dressed and therefore possibly being punished for they won't say what kind of misconduct and they off-ice misconduct. "We're not going to beat a won't name players — which dead horse," said Cioffi, "but concluded "team and departit lingers." mental rules were violated" — N; / - wmm In fact, inquiring minds but they won't say which rules. from here to the Statehouse As a result, they say "sanctions" will want to know more about will be imposed — but they the Hockey Pucks Hazing won't say what sort of sanctions Scandal of 1999. And they'll P9m ,:JIK sSBMttyf^V - J and they also won't say against want to know why UVM's whom the sanctions have been athletic elite gets treated like a levied. special class of people — There. That takes care of above reproach. Oh, this one that. This hazing scandal case is will linger, kind of like a bad now officially closed — closed N ' i l ^ ^ S fart that just won't leave the 1 llrfSfc . tighter than a Budweiser frog's room. butt. But is it really over? s. s P l ^ H y ^ B l v v M w w Also on Campus — Plenty of State representative and uniconcern and speculation these versity trustee Doran Metzger Wm S B W I i l days among UVM staff over told Seven Days he thinks the the pending university downway UVM has handled the sizing. According to the minHockey Pucks Hazing Scandal is utes of the recent staff council "a disgrace." "I'd hoped they'd be meeting, UVM is planning on as forthcoming as possible," he a five-year, $25 million downsaid. Perception is often reality, sizing to increase pay and bennoted the 1997 graduate of efits for the remaining univerGroovy UV, and in this case the DV DCTITO repYWIF sity employees. Look for the $ I iUws 1 fww I % 1 I \ Sswwt $ i ^ perception of a cover-up is, administration to push for unfortunately, widespread. "early retirement" and "incentive buy-out planMetzger will likely learn more about the unining." versity's little problem with the hockey pucks this Also security concerns have prompted a call weekend when the university's board of trustees for university staff and faculty to wear ID badges. meets. Tom Gustafson, vice-president for univerAs it is, campus buildings are wide open to all sity operations, told Seven Days, "We will give comers, and purses and wallets have a way of distrustees information on a need-to-know basis." appearing. Don't plan on attending that potentially colorful Say It Ain't So? — Last week's news that multinapart of the trustee pow-wow, because Gustafson tional corporations have their sights set on gobassured us it will be handled behind closed doors bling up Ben & Jerry's has caused a few people to in executive session. dig in their heels. Next Monday at noon, VPIRG Part of Metzger s need-to-know stems from is sponsoring a rally outside Ben & Jerry's shop in the fact he anticipates getting quite a few quesdowntown Burlington. The rallying cry will be tions from colleagues when the legislature reconalong the lines of "Let's Keep Ben & Jerry's out of venes on January 4. Metzger, the Republican Boy the hands of the multinationals!" No word on free Wonder of Milton, has been a big supporter of ice cream cones. increased state funding for Groovy UV. The uniAlso, in cyberspace, someone's launched a versity currently receives about $30 million annuWeb site at savebenjerry.com, to rally opposition ally out of the state's general fund. to a sale. The statement on the home page by an You can buy a whole lot of ice skates for $30 anonymous "Chubby Hubby" reads in part: million. In fact, Gov. Howard Brush Dean III "Unfortunately, today, gigantic multinational wants to boost UVM s state funding once again in companies are trying to take advantage of Ben & the upcoming budget he'll submit to the gang Jerry's humble stock price. They want to skin the under the golden dome. As for the Hockey Sticks company alive and use its gentle lambskin brand Misbehaving Scandal, Ho-Ho's press secretary, identity to fool unsuspecting consumers into purSweet Sue Allen, said, "The governor has not chasing their soulless, profit-driven products. been briefed and doesn't really have a comment These multinational capitalists think the Ben on it at this point." & Jerry's following is ignorant enough to What Ho-Ho don't know can't hurt him, thoughtlessly continue supporting this brand after right? it has been stripped of its meaning. Say it ain't Republican State Senator and Essex County so!" prosecutor Vince Illuzzi told Seven Days U V M Vermont's Top Cop — If you blinked you might should not "unilaterally" handle an investigation have missed it — the appointment of a new top that may involve criminal acts. "It is incumbent cop to head up the Vermont State Police. Without upon U V M to notify the Burlington Police much fanfare, Public Safety Commissioner Jim Department and the state's attorney's office to Walton released a three-paragraph press release allow an independent review of the factual allegaannouncing the selection of Capt. Tom tions." It's the right thing for UVM to do, he Powlovich as the new director. Powlovich (Pa-loiosaid, "not only as the state university, but also as a vitch) received a promotion to lieutenant colonel good neighbor." Such an investigation by outside and has quietly taken over the reins. The strapagencies, said Illuzzi, may well conclude there was ping 6'4" redhead replaces Col. John Sinclair, no misconduct "beyond the pale." Fine. who retired with a golden parachute courtesy of Then again, it may not. But at this point we U.S. Sen. Patrick J. Leahy — an appointment as may never know, and that's what irks many folks Vermont's new U.S. Marshal. — the big, Kafkaesque cover-up. In choosing Sinclair's successor, the Commish Last week, you'll recall WCAX Sports Director adopted an employee-friendly approach. He conJ.J. Cioffi was willing to give Groovy UV the tacted the president of the state police union and benefit of the doubt. Let's not jump to any conrequested names of up to three candidates the clusions, he cautioned. "You've got to have a little troops in the field would like to work under. faith in UVM," said J.J. According to the union president, Sgt. Bill This week CiofFi's faith is a bit shaken. "I was disappointed they weren't more forth-

Inside Track

continued on page 52

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I Very Willing Accomplice Virginia authorities charged David E. Whitfield, 29, with robbing a Chesterfield C o u n t y credit union, explaining the suspect hitched a ride to the crime | scene after talking the driver into first taking him to two other banks before arriving at the credit union, where he asked the driver to wait for him outside. T h e driver then drove him to a fast-food restaurant for a meal and finally dropped him off at a motel. T h e Richmond Times-Dispatch reported that after learning of the crime and the suspects description, the driver encountered Whitfield hitchhiking a week later. W h e n he confronted him, Whitfield offered him some of the stolen money. T h e driver refused and notified authorities.

Keep the Home Fries Burning T h e British government launched an ad campaign warning people not to drink and fry, explaining that hungry drinkers just h o m e from the p u b w h o fry late-night meals are to blame for many of the house fires that kill some 40 people a year.

Mommy Dearest Bristol Township, Pennsylvania, councilor Mary

Sommerer, 44, resigned after she reportedly attacked her 18year-old daughter for accusing her of using crack cocaine. T h e daughter and her brother told Bristol police that they found drug paraphernalia in the home and confronted their mother, whereupon she attacked the daughter, pulling out a clump of her hair and biting her.

said the crime was revealed when Bourk missed two $25 payments on the storage unit, and the owner auctioned off the contents sight unseen. Maria Blackburn paid $20 and discovered the missing mans body

Richard Bauman explained that when the woman died at age 75, her son was too upset to arrange for her funeral and left the body where it was. • Public-safety officials in Norfolk, Virginia, acting on a

nEWs QuiRkS

BY ROLAND SWEET

Call of the Cross W h e n the Florida Supreme Court granted convicted killer T h o m a s Provenzano, 50, a stay of execution because of his delusions that he is Jesus Christ, state Rep. Howard Futch suggested during a House Criminal Justice and Corrections Council meeting that instead of electrocuting Provenzano, " W h y don't we just crucify him?" W h e n asked about the comment, Futch told the St. Petersburg Times, "I'd make him a cross, and we could take it out to Starke — where death row is located — and nail him up."

while inspecting her purchase. Meanwhile Bourk called the storage facility after being notified of the auction and told manager Susie Gonzalez she would "give anything, anyth : ng to get the storage back." Instead, Gonzales called police. • Workers knocking down a chimney in a long-closed theft prevention business in Philadelphia discovered the remains of a man who had died inside the chimney, apparently while trying to burglarize the business. Police said the skeleton had been crouched in the chimney for five years.

Missing Persons

• After out-of-state relatives notified authorities in Harrison County, Indiana, that they hadn't heard from Myrtle Petrie in years, investigators found her remains sitting in the chair where she died more than five years before. Sheriff's Capt.

Darlene Bourk, 31, was charged with murdering her husband Robert in late 1996 after his body was found this September in an abandoned self-storage unit in Upland, California. Police Lt. Ed Gray

The

complaint about an overgrown lawn, entered the h o m e and found the body of Doris W. Silvers, who had died a year before at age 78. A medical examiner ruled that the woman died of natural causes, but she left a handwritten note explaining that funeral arrangements had been taken care of. She also cleaned out her refrigerator, arranged to have her utilities disconnected and paid the bills in advance, and canceled the services of a home-care provider. Police Office R. L. Burnette said the h o m e was immaculate, with clothes folded and stacked by season and pans neatly arranged by size on the counter.

Strange Deaths

Not-So-Great Escape

Rachel Haigh, 17, died from eating her own hair, according to an inquest in Hastings, England. After complaining of

Convicted killer Kenneth D. Williams, 20, escaped from an Arkansas prison by hiding in a 500-gallon barrel of hog slop.

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stomach pains, the girl was rushed to Conquest Hospital, where doctors removed a hairball that was one foot long, 10 inches wide and four inches thick and filled her entire stomach. T h e girl died while recovering from the operation. Noting her daughter had chewed her hair since she was young, N o r m a Haigh was shocked when surgeons showed her a photo of the hairball. "I could not believe it," she said. "It looked like a dead rat." • Thousands of fish were killed in France after heavy rains washed the residue of the pressing of champagne grapes into the Marne River. T h e organic pollution consumed most of the oxygen in the river and caused a bacteria that killed the fish. W h e n the dead fish were scooped out of the river, they were stacked six feet high along a 20-mile stretch. Authorities said the residue was particularly heavy because the champagne industry has been aiming to meet the increased demand for its product for worldwide celebrations of the millennium.

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eah, I'm cranky. Blame it on Pikachu. Not long ago, I had lunch with my first-grade daughter. Walking onto the playground of Union Elementary School in Montpelier, I noticed that many of the kids weren't swinging or climbing or sending giggles spiraling into the autumn air. Instead, Amelia's classmates huddled in tight clutches, spreading cards on book bags and bluejeaned thighs, looking more like three-card monte players than grade-schoolers. Their breath gathered in hot clouds. Deals were cut and cards were traded. Alliances made, and betrayed. "Trade you Pikachu for..." "Wow! You've got a Venusaur!" "Hey, give me back my Charmander!" Pokemon is a merchandising machine disguised as children's game that began in Japan and has now spread throughout the world. It . .... sends children on a hunt for 151 little creatures — Pokemon, short for "pocket monsters" — with the exhortation, "Gotta catch 'em all!" Make that "Gotta buy 'em all." Unless something really special comes along, Pokemon will go down as the last cross-merchandising craze of the millennium — the most vivid evidence yet of the marketplace's success at turning imaginative children into slavering consumers. When kids wake up in the morning, they fight over the cereal box with Pokemon on back. They clamor for more trading cards, beg permission to watch the television show, endure long lines to see the movie, gobble up the fruit chews, covet the dolls at the toy store, and shut out the world to stare at the Nintendo screen. At every turn, there's some new buying opportunity, some new treasure. Always with a price tag attached.

If that's all there were to Sj Pokemon, I wouldn't sweat ' O it. I'd buy my kids some <0 things, say no to others, and wait for the next fad. But ..here's what worries me: While some of the other kidculture juggernauts had at least some redeeming features (Disney's Lion King has some swell music, for instance), Pokemon is, at its core, empty. Boring. A black hole of banality.

I remember, as a child, the sound of my mother's voice reading me Robert Louis Stevenson's poem, "My Shadow." The funniest thing about him is the way he likes to grow — Not at all like proper children, which is always very slow; For he sometimes shoots up taller like an India-rubber ball, And he sometimes gets so little that there's none of him at all. How those words fired my imagination! I rolled them in my mouth like chocolates, studied my shadow from all possible angles, and asked my mom to read the poem again and again. Stevenson's creativity took me to the brink of my own — and then left me to explore. Pokemon leaves children precious little room for exploration. Instead, it takes them by the ears, tells them Charmander can do this, Pikachu can do that — and, oh, by the way, Hasbro is retiring two of the characters, so you'd better get Mom to take you to the mall. Pronto. In our house, Alexander, age four, is the resident Pokemon fanatic. At bedtime recently, he asked me to read him a new book: Island of the Giant Pokemon. Since it was based on a T V series (which is based on a marketing plan), this "book" didn't have an author, simply an "adaptor." It didn't have any poetry, only a paean to accumulation. In one passage, a character, James, celebrates his latest acquisition. "Look what I bought from a Pokemon vendor, "fames was saying. He held up a gold Poke Ball. "It's a very valuable Pokemon." The message is clear. The pleasure of Pokemon comes not from playing, but from purchasing. A character is valuable not because it inflames the imagination, but because it's got a high price tag. The playing cards are not invitations to a fantasy world, but passports to a world of supply and demand. Alexander and I experienced this first-hand on a recent trip to the local library. We had been talking about the granite quarries in nearby Barre, how the workers carve the rock out of the ground and use it to make monuments and buildings. I it it would be fun to find a book on the subject and learn more. * ^ "J Montpelier's KelloggHubbard Library is a won-

Whaf? about a Gift Certificate insi£a<i? Pikachu derfully old-fashioned place. It has big chairs, librarians who care, even an old-fashioned card catalog. We walked down into the basement where the children's books line the shelves, their pages stained with peanut butter, their "due back" cards deliciously full. Before we could open one volume, though, Alexander spied a group of kids trading Pokemon cards around a table near the circulation desk. After Union Elementary administrators decided to ban the cards — bless their hearts! — the kids had brought their game here. But these children weren't playing; they were consuming. Alexander walked over to the table, his Pokemon cards tucked inside a white spiral notebook. The kids grabbed it, scouring the pages for hard-to-find cards. To our surprise, Alexander had one: a holographic Venusaur. The feeding frenzy began, as the kids tried to charm, cajole and con the four-year-old into surrendering Venusaur. "Trade you this card." "Hey, don't cheat him. Here, I'll give you these two." "That Venusaur is worth 35 dollars!" Alexander's eyes bounced among the children, filled with delight. Just moments ago, he had been standing outside the group, shyly debating whether to try and break in. Now he was the center of attention, an instant insider, the object of ferocious desire. But like the Pokemon "game" itself, I knew, my son's popularity was an illusion. These kids weren't welcoming him as a playmate; they were eyeing him as prey. Qnce they succeeded in talking him out of his card, they would probably discard him like a cellophane wrapper.

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S t r e e t w i s e Rita end

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H o r o w i t z

uring this season of decking the halls, our hearts are likely to be where our homes are — if we're lucky enough to have homes. But December can feel like the cruelest m o n t h if you're one of the estimated 4400 Vermonters currently without a permanent address. T h o u g h the recent spike in homelessness has been several years in the making, the public hadn't really understood the changing nature of the beast — until the eloquent, indefatigable Rita Markley took over as executive director of Burlington's Committee O n Temporary Shelter. "Rita is extraordinary," attests Sen. Patrick Leahy. "In everything she says and does, she espouses the fact that all people have innate dignity and ought to be treated that way." O n e of the sharpest tools in Markley's advocacy kit is her ability to give the grim statistics of poverty a h u m a n face, and to give the lie to c o m m o n misperceptions. She argues that although about 1500 homeless Vermonters are

page 8

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s tays

savvy, the

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Vermont

single men — including many who suffer from substance abuse, mental disabilities or other impairments — the old stereotype of the ne'er-do-well bum on the dole does not apply. Increasingly, those who fill the state's overflowing shelters are families, Markley points out. Just four years ago, C O T S served 73 families. At the end of this year, the number was 296. One-third of the homeless are children, and 85 percent of clients in Vermont shelters are either attending school or seeking — and finding — jobs. Markley explains that homelessness isn't primarily caused by the characters of those who are homeless — it's the economy, stupid. In the Burlington area, two wellknown factors — an extraordinarily tight housing market and a proliferation of minimum-wage jobs — are major contributors to the current crisis. "In this community, we value diversity, and I appreciate that about Vermont and about Burlington," Markley says. "But some of the most hateful, ignorant remarks I've heard in my time here have been about the poor. Things that you would never say about a gay or a lesbian person, or someone who was African-American, are routinely said

about the poorest Vermonters. And I think it's harder to make those remarks when you know the h u m a n story behind the statistics." It's also harder to ignore the plight of homelessness when you're able to imagine life without a place to call your own. Markley is at her most eloquent when she talks about the inner toll homelessness can take. Speaking in her office, a modest space one flight below street level in the McClure C o m m u n i t y Resource Building on South Winooski Avenue, she submits, " H o m e is a place where y6u can create a safe space in a larger, more threatening world. It's where you keep what you hold valuable: that spelling bee trophy or your great-grandmother's engagement ring." As she speaks, her hands echo her words, drawing extravagant images in the air. "All of the history that has shaped you, you have a place for in your home. But [when] you lose home," she continues, "typically you can only take with you what you can carry on your back or in your hands. So everything that connects you with your past and who you've been is pretty much gone. "Losing a home," Markley maintains, her hands

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underlining the point, "means that instead of being able to read a book quietly, or just unwind, you have no place privately to be. If you're at the Waystation, you're sharing one large room with 35 other people. Or you're a family with five other families trying to do the daily routines of life. And there isn't a place to express yourself— there's no art on the walls, there's no place to keep your favorite toys. Everything that reflects who you are now, even, there is no place for it."

W ^ I \ arkley's passion makes her an extremely effecV • \ tive champion, observes Bill Faith, director of W ™ ^ t h e Coalition on Homelessness and Housing in Ohio. He has lobbied Capitol Hill with Markley on numerous occasions. "Rita's extremely committed and dedicated, and it comes out in the way she speaks to people," he reports. "She's very persuasive and persistent." Closer to home, Rabbi Joshua Chasan of Burlington's Ohavi Zedek Synagogue affirms, "Rita is real. Her passion is matched by her competence." Markley's passion is also matched by her keen sense of humor, notes C O T S board chair Joyce Hagan. "She's a lot of fun to work with. She brings a lot of lightness to work that can be heavy. Board members will say, 'We're so lucky to have her, we're so fortunate, we're blessed.'" Markley, 41, moved to Burlington from the nation's capital in 1991. She started working at C O T S as a volunteer in 1992, and rose to the rank of executive director three years ago, following the retirement of Sister Lucille Bonvouloir. Though the agency has been successfully providing emergency shelter and support services since 1982, and Bonvouloir left the organization in good working order, Markley's outspoken style has helped to bring both C O T S and the broader issue of homelessness into the limelight. "Sister Lucille had a quiet, gentle way about her and quietly got things done. She was very popular when she retired," observes Barbara Rachelson, executive director of the Lund Family Center. "Rita is not a quiet, behind-thescenes person." Markley's outspokenness served Vermont's homeless population well this fall, when she spearheaded a successful effort to earmark $6 million of the states budget surplus for housing that would be affordable for the state's poorest residents. Essex Rep. Sally Fox, who chairs the House Appropriations Committee and has worked as a lobbyist herself, describes Markley's testimony as "two or three notches above the level" of others who spoke on the issue. "It was Rita who was just so completely consumed by what she was saying," Fox remembers. "She was living and breathing what she was talking about." In fact, like so many of the most effective advocates for social change, Markley has lived and breathed her cause. "I spent the first five years of my life in an orphanage in Washington, and I was adopted into a fairly privileged home," Markley relates. "There's no doubt in my mind that without the access to education and travel and

style

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literature that my parents gave me, my life could very easily be the same as the folks who need COTS." The attitude she conveys isn't one of self-pity, but of absolute understanding. The effect is utterly compelling. "I have a half-brother who was not adopted by the Markleys," she goes on, sipping her coffee and ignoring the phone, which has been ringing almost constantly all morning. "He went through eight different foster homes and he's been homeless on and off since he was 22." How aware could Markley have been, as a five-yearold, of the fine line between her life of privilege and its bleak alternative? "I was extremely aware," she states. "I left friends who were at the orphanage: Teresita, Janine, Michael. They did not get adopted, and as you get older in an orphanage, you realize that the group is getting smaller and smaller and smaller. Everyone knew that once you hit six you'd go to a different system and then into foster care. I didn't know what foster care meant, but I knew that I wouldn't be at St. Anne's anymore." Life at St. Anne's did more than just make Markley appreciate her advantages. The experience also taught her not to be selfish. "When you're socialized in an orphanage, the key value is to share," she explains. "Being selfish was the worst thing you could be in that orphanage. Even a crybaby or a thumb-sucker was better than someone who was stingy. So to leave that orphanage and go to my parents and their neighborhood, where everybody had their own bicycle, everybody had their own set of rollerskates, different clothes for every day of the week and so much food on your plate that you couldn't eat it — it didn't seem bad," she clarifies, pausing to catch her breath. "It just seemed so strange. Why you needed all these rollerskates or bicycles or wagons was just beyond me. Markley's commitment to sharing carries over into the work she does today. Whether she's operating here in Vermont or on a national level, her peers appreciate her generosity and lack of territoriality — qualities that often get forgotten in the red-tape-driven, dwindling-funds world of social services. "She's always brought us to the table," says Will Rowe, executive director of Spectrum Youth Services. "She has this understanding that it takes more than one agency and one focus." At the state level, Markley led the successful push by the Coalition for Homeless Vermonters to advocate for low-income housing funds — money that would help combat homelessness, but would not directly benefit the agencies represented by the Coalition. This same generosity of spirit guides Markley when she operates at the national level, confirms Faith, who serves with Markley on the executive board of the National Coalition for the Homeless. "A lot of people come in with their own agendas and don't see the big picture," he observes. "Rita wants to understand how what she does impacts other places. She's very considerate in that way." Another way in which Markley stands out from the crowd has to do with her professional background. Unlike many anti-poverty workers, Markley is not trained in

social work. After graduating from the University of Maryland with a major in Russian literature, she worked in the for-profit world of business, directing marketing at an engineering and management consulting firm, and selling real estate. But while Markley was making money selling homes to the haves, she also did volunteer work on behalf of the homeless have-nots. She cut her fundraising teeth hitting up successful real estate agents for the Creative Community for Non-Violence (CCNV) — the ground-breaking organization founded by the late Mitch Schneider, who was once the nation's pre-eminent advocate for the homeless. When Markley came to Vermont, she planned to write fiction. But her commitment to social action soon took over. "I called United Way and asked about different places to volunteer that did shelter or poverty work, and they gave me C O T S ' phone number," she recalls. Though she had worked with the homeless in D.C., the far-sighted approach taken by C O T S was an eye-opener. At CCNV, Markley explains, "they didn't have the services to move people out of shelters the way C O T S does. It was mainly emergency services and a bunk bed. So C O T S was very intriguing, because you actually saw people move out." After working as a volunteer organizing the C O T S phone-a-thon, she took a part-time paid position as special events coordinator, then became the agency's full-time development director.

,ven in those early years, Markley made her mark. Former City Councilor Brian Pine remembers the first time he became aware of her. It was the spring of 1993, and Peter Brownell, the recently elected Republican mayor, was proposing to eliminate affordable-housing allocations from the city's Community Development Block Grant. "Rita gave an impassioned statement about what the city's priorities should be," Pine reminisces. "She was new to me. She was very articulate and persuasive, and she didn't cower under pressure. I was very impressed and knew we would be hearing more of this person." By the time she applied for the post of executive director, Markley was already well known, and well liked, within the agency. "We were looking for someone who really held this issue of homelessness in their heart as well as having an intellectual understanding of it," says former C O T S board president Lucy Samara, who served on the search committee. "Rita has all those skills, plus she does not give up on people. She's always looking for positive outcomes." Under Markley's leadership, C O T S has adapted a more aggressive stance. "It's not just Rita by any means," Samara is careful to clarify. "But she has really been the spark of energy and ideas. People are drawn to her and they respond to her."

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Happily for C O T S , people also respond to Markley with their wallets, Samara adds. "The response from the community has been strong since early 1990s, but financial support has grown under Rita's leadership. She's taken what was strong about C O T S and made it stronger." By using her marketing skills, Markley has also helped the agency sell its strengths to potential contributors. " C O T S was the best-kept secret in 1992, when I came," she explains. "They had the same outcomes, but nobody really focused on that. People would hear ' C O T S ' and think 'Waystation,' but not know about our job program. Because there are different levels of the

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program," the director is fond of pointing out, "there are many ways to give." Markley tries to match potential givers with those areas within the agency that answer their specific interests. Donors interested in long-term solutions might be steered towards the housing program, while those who care about social services might give to the Streetwork program. C O T S is also more than happy to accept contributions for vocational counseling, after-school tutoring, health care or even a newspaper recently launched by its clients. T h e agency also benefits from the pro bono work of lawyers, house painters, graphic designers, computer technicians, receptionists and others.

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siderable local publicity and garnered national recognition for some of its more innovative efforts. In July, the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development ( H U D ) recognized C O T S ' "Homeward Bound Partnership" with a Best Practices Award. "I want you to know this is solid crystal from H U D , " Markley laughs, hefting the trophy. "We wish they had written a check instead." Jokes aside, she's clearly proud of the agency's efforts to help clients cope with Burlington's cut-throat rental scene. "We analyzed why the families and individuals we serve were not successful getting into housing," explains Markley. In some cases, clients had simply failed to return landlords' phone calls. In other instances, poor c o m m u n i -

Continued on page 12

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cation was the problem. "Let's say you're a veteran with your leg blown off, and it says groundfloor apartment," Markley suggests. "But when you get there, you find out that it's really down a flight of slippery stone steps, in a basement." To increase their clients' chances of success, COTS recruits landlords from religious congregations and service organizations, such as Moose and Lions and Kiwanas. The agency also trains clients to look for housing. "We tell them, you have to approach this like a job search," Markley explains. "Make a good impression. Speak clearly. Be discerning about what you share with your landlord during your first interview." Private donations enable C O T S to provide some clients with security deposits. And the organization assures potential landlords that they will follow up with their clients for up to two years in order to help them avoid eviction. Six months out, Markley boasts, "Homeward Bound" had helped 50 families and 73 individuals with disabilities find apartments — no small feat in a housing market with a vacancy rate of less than 1 percent. But for all the agency's successes, there's only so much C O T S can do. For the last seven or eight years, Markley says, she's seen the Clinton administration retreat from providing affordable housing, with devastating human consequences. "I'm frustrated now with the new demographic of the working poor," she says. "The number of people who earn between $6 and $8 an hour who we have to put up in motels because they simply can't make it when they spend 70 to 80 percent of their finances just on housing. And how heartbreaking it is that some mom with two kids earning $7.75 as an assistant manager at a retail store is blaming herself that she didn't get a third job to help pay for medications or the car repair, or whatever came up that she didn't anticipate?" Outweighing these frustrations, however, are the rewards that come from seeing a client's desperation turn to hope. "When people come to us, most of them don't know how to dream anymore," Markley remarks. "They're Vietnam veterans who shipped off when they were 17 years old, and they've come back and sort of wandered the country aimlessly ever since. Or some of the folks who come down from the Northeast Kingdom have just tragic backgrounds of not just poverty, but physical and sexual abuse. And they've been told all their lives, 'You're stupid, you're dirty, you're stupid, you're dirty.' When they are able to move from just the day-to-day survival and conceive for themselves a future, that's the most powerful motivator," she

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says. "It's not just the financial security. It's not just a dry place to sleep. It's that you're pursuing something more. And you help cultivate that human potential in them — that's amazing." Markley's hope is not confined to her individual clients. She is also optimistic about the prospects for ending — or at least substantially alleviating — the problem of homelessness altogether. "At least now people are talking about the housing issue," she points out. "It's not like it was three years ago, when we started to see our numbers climb. Nobody was talking about families. Now the business community, the nonprofit community, the faith community and our legislators are all keenly aware of the housing crisis and willing to work on ways to resolve it. I feel hopeful that if it can be done anywhere in this country, Vermont is the place. In the end, our job at COTS is to work towards a community that no longer needs a COTS." ®

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december 8 , 1 9 9 9

SEVEN DAYS

page 1 3

J r w u Ry

Book

a n d G-ii'To

Ends

Two millennium-inspired histories offer contrasting views of Vermont

HOWARD FRANK OSHER

ne simple test of a good book is whether it has something different, something we've never read or seen before, on every page. According to this standard, both Vermont Voices and A Vermont Century are first-rate histories of the Green Mountain State. Hailing from local publishers, they're also as independent-minded as most of the Vermonters they feature. Together, they evoke much of what is interesting or unique about Vermont, from its discovery by European explorers to the eve of the millennium.

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nonsense, no-narrator approach to the greatest hits of state history. It uses original sources — letters, newspaper accounts, songs, town histories, journal entries — to chronicle major social, political and cultural events, beginning in the early 17th century with Samuel de Champlain's dramatic narrative of his trip up the Richelieu River to the big lake that bears his name.

and game animals, such as stags, fallow deer, fawns, roebucks, bears and other species, come from the mainland," he describes the incredible tortures to which his Algonquin allies subjected their Iroquois captives; neither tribe had built permanent settlements in the vicinity of the lake, for fear of the other. From the start, Vermont seems to have been what many Vermonters, especially in rural areas, find it to be today: a good place to love and a hard place to make a living. Seth Hubbell's 1789 account of homesteading in the Northeast Kingdom town of Wolcott is an unbroken saga of deprivation and bad luck. He came into the wilderness with just

Lake many entries in his book, Champlain's 1609 "Voyages" tells a story of an exceedingly beautiful place that is nonetheless full of conflict and hardship. After rhapsodizing about two lovely islands in Lake Champlain "covered with fine woods and meadows where fowl

Vermont Voices, 1609 Through the 1990s: A Documentary History of the Green Mountain State, edited by J. Kevin Graffagnino, Samuel B. Hand and Gene Sessions. Published by the Vermont Historical Society, 409 pp. $45. A Vermont Century: Photographs and Essays from the Green Mountain State, edited by Dirk Van Susteren. Published by the Rutland Herald and Barre-Montpelier Times Argus, 207 pp. $34.95.

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two tools — an ax and an old hoe. When one of his two oxen fell ill on the journey, he stepped into the yoke himself and helped pull the cart containing his wife and five daughters the last 14 miles through the forest. For the first several years the family lived on potatoes and whatever they could hunt or catch. Yet despite his hardships, Seth Hubbell valued his new-found independence in the northern Green Mountains so much that he claimed to be "not once...discouraged or disheartened." Intentionally or otherwise, some of the narratives in Vermont Voices are wildly funny. After quoting a lively, albeit characteristically self-aggrandizing, section from Ethan Allen's narrative of the capture of Fort Ticonderoga "in the name of the Great Jehovah and the Continental Congress," the editors also included the following account of a Connecticut evangelist's visit to Allen's burial place: "Arrived at Onion-river and

passed by Ethan Allyn's grave. An awful Infidel, one of ye wickedest men yt ever walked this guilty globe. I looked at his grave with a pious horror." I paused — not with pious

Albans Messenger account of the attack on that northwestern Vermont community by Confederate raiders. "'We have a lot of rebel riders upon us,' [Captain George Conger]

women's suffrage, Mrs. H.W. Abbott, of Landgrove, Vermont, wrote in 1910: "Madame: I think that a woman who will lower herself enough to want to vote does not deserve to be called woman.'

assessment, in 1979, of the notorious "Irasburg Affair" of 1968, in which, just up the street from my house, a black minister from California was driven out of town — and Vermont.

"Madame: I think that a woman who will lower herself enough to want to vote does not deserve to be called woman."i horror but with considerable sympathy for the Confederate Army — over a full-page replica of a Civil War recruiting poster stating: "To the Sharp Shooters of Windham County — No person will be enlisted who cannot when firing at a distance of 200 yards, at a rest, put ten consecutive shots in a target [within] five inches from the centre of the bull's eye." Equally priceless is the 1864 St.

emphatically exclaimed. 'Let us catch them.'" That the "rebel raiders" who sacked St. Albans got away scot-free will probably not diminish the appeal of Conger's statement to modern-day Vermont individualists. Of course, independent-mindedness can cut more than one way, in Vermont or anyplace else. In reply to Annette Parmalee's eloquent argument on behalf of

Worse yet was a 1926 "Review of Eugenics in Vermont" recommending marriage restrictions and a sterilization law to apply to Vermont families with "hereditable defects," "Indian and Negro" blood or "roving Gypsy tendencies" — the subject of a new book by Nancy Gallagher, titled Breeding Better Vermonters. Also included in this anthology is the Rutland Heralds scathing

Mk Vermont Century doesn't pull any punches, either. J ^ m Assembled by editor Dirk Van Susteren, photographer Jeb Wallace-Brodeur and the staffs of the Rutland Herald and the BarreMontpelier Times Argus, this coffee-table book is the finest and most powerful collection of 20thcentury Vermont photographs and essays I've ever seen. In their stark, unmelodramatic realism, some of the images in A Vermont Century are terribly troubling, from the faces of 10-yearold boys and girls laboring in Vermont's turn-of-the-century textile mills, to a Ku Klux Klan picnic in Montpelier in the '20s,

Continued on page 16

KLAN DESTINED The wide-angle lens captures a peculier picnic in A Vermont Century, circa 1920.

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It's the Tacky Xmas Decoration Contest and Grand Highly Illuminated House Tour S e n d Y O U R E N T R Y f o r the tackiest, gaudiest decorated house in Chittenden County. Mail: W I Z N , Po Box 1093, Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 2 - 1 0 9 3 email: wizn@togetKer.net f a x : 860-1818 FACTORS TO CONSIDER: • Bad Acid Flashback • The Holy S h i t Factor • Woodchuck Wonderland • Overall W a t t a g e • Sound and Fury • Loco Motion

On D e c e m b e r 14, our crew of tackiness professionals will hit t h e s t r e e t s t o j u d g e all t h e e n t r i e s . T h e n , on D e c e m b e r 21, hop on board t h e W i z a r d Bus w i t h us t o view t h e winners o f t h e 1st Annual W I Z N T a c k y Tour! Your admission is one coat, which will be donated t o t h e Burlington Emergency S h e l t e r . ( T i m e and place t o b e announced in upcoming ads.)

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Continued from page 15 to the homeless of contemporary Burlington, huddled in an abandoned boxcar. At the same time, there are uplifting images of Vermont log drives, granite carvers, farmers and woodsmen whose like won't be seen again, in the Green Mountain State or elsewhere. Among my favorites are Barre greengrocer George Maniatty, standing in front of his fruit store in 1918, and "Wild Bill" Royer, fabled Northeast Kingdom fiddler and raconteur, who inspired the character Wild Bill Bonhomme in my 1977 novel, Disappearances. And I loved the images of the lovelorn wild moose,

thrived — there in the 1970s. "Our three oldest kids," Clarke recalls, "accompanied by our loyal wolf-dog, Lobo, tramped off daily to the Norton School. Today they can boast to their kids that they walked three miles through the woods to attend a one-room schoolhouse." Pretty neat. So. How best to summarize these two millennial overviews of

A 1926 "Review of

Bullwinkle, hitting on a Shrewsbury cow named Jessica, and the study in competitive intensity depicting the UVM women's basketball team that won 57 consecutive regularseason games in the early '90s.

Eugenics i Vermont" recommended marriage restrictions and a sterilization law t apply to Vermont families with OTPjreditable/ Idefects." "Im (and Negro" b {or "roving Gypsy J tendencies.'^

The essays accompanying these photographs are equally refreshing. I particularly enjoyed Tom Slayton's demystifications of Calvin Coolidge and Robert Frost; Stephen Terry's profile of U.S. Sen. George Aiken, who, let us not forget, proposed that we declare a military victory in Vietnam and begin a gradual withdrawal of U.S. troops; and a clear-eyed appraisal of the "rich history and continued vibrancy" of the city of Burlington, which explained to me why Vermont's Queen City consistently turns up on lists of America's most livable communities. Finally, there's a truly wonderful personal reflection on an entirely different side of Vermont's most infamous commune, Earth People's Park, by Rod Clarke, who homesteaded — and

page 16

SEVEN DAYS ^ december 8, 1 9 9 9

the state — and state of mind — of Vermont? I can't do better than to quote Ron Powers in his thoughtful afterword to A Vermont Century. "Here we are," Powers writes, "in this little wrinkle of land tucked up in a far corner of the Great Fruited Plain... Vermont is one of the few remaining places in America that has claim to mythic status." With honesty and affection, that myth is explored and revealed in Vermont Voices and A Vermont Century. I can't imagine a better holiday gift, for residents and visitors to the Green Mountain State, than either — or both — of these fine books. ® Seven Days co-editor Paula Routly contributed to A Vermont Century.

TO: BURLINGTON RESIDENTS RE: SELECTION OF THE DOWNTOWN SUPERMARKET COMPARISON BETWEEN THE SHAW'S SUPERMARKET AND THE ONION RIVER CO-OP Shaw's

Co-op

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december 8, 1 9 9 9

SEVEN DAYS

page 17

Last month hundreds of families received a one-week ration from the Chittenden Emergency Food Shelf. For many it was their only source of food.

io6*7 WIZN AND 99.9 THE BUZZ PRESENT... people throughout the county to collect two tons of food for the Food Shelf during the holidays. Stop by with your donation. Protein that doesn't require refrigeration canned tuna, chili, beef stew, beans, baby food and formula is especially needed. Financial contributions can be made as well.

LOOK FOR WIZN AND THE BUZZ AT THE FOLLOWING LOCATIONS AND DATES: • Wednesday, November 24,11 a.m. - 3 p.m., at Costco, Mountain View Drive, Exit 16 off I-89, Colchester

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SEVEN

december 8,

rowing up in Duck Alley, a tough Long Island neighborhood, Jay Tasti and Albert Niklozak forge a friendship that will become the most powerful force in both their lives. As Vermont author Jim DeFilippi's second novel unfolds, the relationship brings them happiness, and eventually destroys them. Jay is a smart kid from an Italian family, Albert a tough little fighter from Hungary. From long summer days playing ball, hanging out on Jones Beach and dreaming of the future, Jay and Albert grow up and get drafted. Albert goes to Vietnam and later throws himself wholeheartedly into pimping and fencing boosted goods. Jay becomes a teacher and settles down to married life. Still, their friendship remains strong until Jay, tangled up in an embarrassing situation with an unstable female student, panics and asks Albert for a favor. W h e n the remains of the girl are found upstate, Jay thinks he knows what happened, and goes to the police. In the years that follow, he must come to terms with his role in a tragedy that has wrecked his old friend's life and, ultimately, his own. Duck Alley works best when DeFilippi, a former Burlington Free Press h u m o r columnist, is describing the halcyon days of youth. Narrated, memoir-style, by Jay, the book conveys a real sense of the scrappy, back-lot existence of these 1950s kids. T h e remembered episodes that have become holy relics to Jay have the authentic patina of cherished memory. It's a shame there aren't more of them. They provide the only refuge for Jay when his life spins out of control. Childhood has a clarity and simplicity that is denied the adults in Duck Alley. To Jay and Albert, adults live messed-up, , weighed-down lives. Jays father spends his days on the back

porch staring into space; Albert's crazy aunt N a j Bimbaghulya keeps moving her husband's body from grave to grave. Cookie the bum, who came back from the war with shrapnel in his skull, is part friend, part victim of the Duck Alley boys. In a way, it is a practical joke they play on him that lays the foundation for Jay and Albert s own ruined futures. "I figure that any story that is centered on good people getting crushed can only make sense if it's viewed with all of its pieces intact," Jay notes in the book. To that end, DeFilippi stitches together fragments of his characters' lives into a literary patchwork. And a slightly rough one it is, as Jay's narrative jumps around from past to present and back again. T h e pieces may be intact, but they have been jumbled enough to make the narrative thread a little difficult to follow. This strategy does have its merits: Jay tells his story in fits and starts. He's getting something off his chest, and it isn't easy for him. But DeFilippi also intersperses his chapters with snippets of conversation — transposed, as it were, from Jay's memory — and this doesn't always work. Unadorned dialogue is always tricky to pull off, and here it is too stylized, lacking the natural spontaneity of real talk. Jay and Albert come across as overwritten characters in a hard-boiled melodrama, whereas the meat of the story, and its strength, lies in the almost h u m d r u m , everyday web of events and circumstances that ensnare the protagonists. This lack of spontaneity finally drags down the whole novel. Part of the problem is Jay himself. Looking back on the ruins of his life, he isn't very likable, and the fact that he doesn't like himself either is no help. H e is the smart one, the one w h o chose the straight life, but Albert the pimp is actually a much more interesting character. Albert doesn't get enough attention, and

Duck Alley, by Jim DeFilippi, The Permanent Press, 240 pages, $24.

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what a terrible mess he has created. much of Jay's hand-wringing could have been replaced by a more thorough fleshing out of his friend. T h e one-sided nature of the tale blunts what should have been a sharper dramatic bite. DeFilippi succeeds in getting to the heart of Jay's distress, however, and makes it convincing. Only gradually does the reader find out what a terrible mess he has created. Both his actions and their consequences have the squalor of real-life tragedy. In the grand scheme of things, Jay, Albert and his student Arlynn are insignificant, and their stories, like the vanished graves of friends and relatives that Jay futilely spends his time searching for, will disappear unless they are set down on paper. It's a shame that Duck Alley — because it is a short book that deals with big emotions — fails in the end to wrap things up dra-

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matically. It isn't only the character of Albert that suffers from a lack of development. Although the writing gives us snapshots of people and events past and present, the overall absence of detail blurs things where they should be clear. We're left, at the end of too few pages, with the skeleton of a grand theme that still requires much more flesh to make it completely engaging. W i t h what remains, DeFilippi s creation is still strong enough to be genuinely unsettling, and to make readers grateful for the glimmer of redemption offered in its final pages. But Duck Alley is a frustratingly sketchy study of the death of friendship, betrayal and lives gone sour. It is a read that provides some uneasy entertainment, but there is a lingering sense that this is a tragedy with depths which remain unplumbed. ©

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ow ties go way back. In the 3rd century B.C., Roman soldiers wore little knotted scarves around their necks to protect the Adam's apple, which they believed was the focal point of a man's bodily strength and virility. They called this little bit of talismanic fabric "focalle." Louis XIV added a touch of lace and dubbed them "cravats." By the time the Edwardian fop Beau Brummel popularized this most discreetly flamboyant accessory for men's attire, they were known as "bow ties." Nowadays, the bow tie is about as anachronistic as the trolley, often worn by walking male stereotypes. It is an antifashion statement that has been relegated to the closets of two classes of contrarians: older gents, like Orville Redenbacher, and dweebs, like Bill Nye, a.k.a. "The Science Guy" on PBS.

Bow-tie wearers are a class apart. And according to Middlebury tie entrepreneur Bill Kenerson, they comprise about 3 percent of the tie-wearing public. Like a lot of other men, Kenerson, 68, has never come to terms with fashion trends — let alone his mile-wide stubborn streak. Kenerson has worn bow ties ever since fellow employees razzed him about them when he worked as a management trainee at General Electric four decades ago. Eventually, his preference for bow ties became an eccentricity and his source for new ones disappeared. Frustrated with having to make do with old neckwear, Kenerson started a bow-tie catalog six years ago, and gave the company the clever moniker of Beau Ties Limited of Vermont. The business was intended to be a segue into semi-retirement, a way to make a little extra cash once Kenerson left his full-time

job as the director of the Addison County Economic Development Corporation. A law firm partner at the time, his wife, Deborah Venman, agreed to work with him on the project. They sold 3500 ties in 1993 with a one-page flyer offering eight different ties of their own design. Soon Beau Ties took over their five-bedroom home in Middlebury, with computers in the dining room, boxes in the basement, shipping in one bedroom and customer service in another. Employees had to pass through the master bedroom to get to the inventory. Word spread — and that's putting it mildly. In 1997 the couple made a three-minute appearance on "The Today Show." Ecstatic customers sent them lists of other bow-tie wearers. Kenerson and Venman discovered a well-heeled niche market they never knew existed. Within six years, the catalog

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problem is, this particular. string is around the neck. expanded to 48 pages; the mailing list grew tenfold, to 40,000. And three weeks ago, the duo regained their privacy when Beau Ties finally moved out. Twenty people work at the new location in the Middlebury Industrial Park. T h e way the couple converses suggests they've been sharing close quarters for a long time. "He wanted a little retirement sideline business to keep us occupied and give us a little pocket r 13 nil EG /Sill we .uo.'E,- oc . ; money, Venman says or her husband. " O n e day he got this gleam in his eye and said, 'With a little bit of effort this could be a million-dollar business.'" "I was right, wasn't I?" Kenerson retorts. "Yes, love, you were." T h e couple says their ties find favor around the necks of gentlemen who came of age during the heyday of the bow tie as we know it — the '20s through '40s — and a certain set of young, self-styled professionals, mostly doctors, lawyers, professors and architects. In the Beau Ties catalog, each profession gets its due. T h e medical profession is celebrated in the "Doc Holiday Red" — a candy cane serves as the physician's staff, and is surrounded by ribbon and topped off with a sprig of holly. For lawyers there is the "Fairfield," a navy tie with scales of justice and gavels. Architects' tastes are served by slightly off-kilter geometric designs derived from Klee paintings. And for the simply rich, there's the golden "Midas" tie or the "Carder," a navy jacquard tie

with platinum diamonds. Newish Vermonters — flatlanders with a flair — might go for the Woody Jackson Holstein tie. Beau Ties cravats have made it into the hands of celebrities like Redenbacher, Nye, Sen. Paul Simon and Charles Osgood. Captain Kangaroo wears Beau Ties on and off duty. But it's the regular customers Kenerson and Venman tout in their catalog. Pediatricians, for instance, are especially fond of bow ties for purely pragmatic reasons. Dr. Richard Colletti of Burlington is one of many customers who have written in with manly love letters, explaining why he fancies bow ties: "I examine babies without a diaper. You lean over a baby boy and...whizzz!"

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These ties may appeal to nerds, but you don't have to be an engineer to figure out how to tie the darn things. Kenerson says it's just like tying a shoe — the problem is, this particular string is around the neck. For those w h o are too visually oriented to cope with tying something they can't see — or who get confused by their mirror image — Beau Ties offers an instructional video called "Knot Easy."

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SEVEN DAYS

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Bow Season

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cufflinks ($60-155), belts ($50 and up), ascots ($55) and custom-styled shirts ($90-110). T h e ties, most of which are 100 percent silk — some the handiwork of Vermont designers — come in every conceivable pattern, but the same three basic shapes remain constant: T h e ties are 1V2", 2'12" and 31/2*' wide — a.k.a. very slim, slim and butterfly. T h e very slim tie is a narrow, Frank Sinatra-style number; the mid-size slim is more up-to-date. But the butterfly is like a wide, long tie that's been wrenched into a bow — it resembles a cecropia moth that's been crammed into a monarch's body. Although Beau Ties clearly favors the hand-tied "free-style" variety, it is also possible to order "pre-tied" and "clip-on" cravats. W h e n it comes to patterns, tasteful is the key word here. These are bow ties that someone like George W. Bush Jr. — if he had the courage to acknowledge his East Coast affiliations — could appreciate. A flotilla of sailboats by day. For evening, an explosion of confetti designed by

wears Beau Ties on and off duty. Vermont silk worker Ellen Spring. T h e catalog encourages shoppers to take a chance with admonitions like "C'mon buddy — get yourself noticed" and "Not as conservative as you think?" For the holiday-conscious, Beau Ties offers extensive collections for Hannukah, Christmas and New Year's. These bows are covered with the symbols of the season: Torahs and Stars of David, wrapped gift boxes and Christmas trees. There are more subtle options for men who dare to wear red, but who dread any obvious connection to Rudolph the Red nosed Reindeer. "Polar Star," for instance, is a tasteful stripe-laden bow in "holly berry red" and "Scotch Pine green."

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Weekly Mail

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Continued from page 4 Think this through: Onion River will be a total supermarket, will carry a complete line of products at competitive prices answering the needs of all shoppers. But so much more: Being locally owned and operated, it willingly assumes responsibility directly to local citizenry. It can't disappear behind anonymous, alter-economied, out-of-state ownership, but stands answerable, mano-a-mano, so to speak, to its customers. And hear this: It will give genuine (not lip service), respectful help to seniors, handicapped and low-income shoppers. Sure, it'll have an 800 number, but vox humana, not vox machina, answering!

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WILSON WRONG O N WITCHES We are writing in response to Ruth Horowitz's article, "Spell Check" [October 27], concerning The Salem Witch Trials, by Lori Lee Wilson. Ruth's writing was educated and unbiased. We found Wilson's to be the opposite. On October 26, we attended Wilson's presentation in Pittsford. She told a fascinating story of the events

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surrounding the 1692 hysteria. While her presentation of these events was historically accurate, Wilson's biased viewpoints were vulgarly expressed. Several offended people left early from the discussion. Presenting herself as an educated scholar of history, Wilson gave an uneducated, false explanation of witchcraft's ancient and modern-day practices. She described witches as women who used powers of "the underworld" to see the future, create destructive storms and poison enemies. We inquired of her knowledge about the actual religion today and its roots in history. In response, she wrongly equated witchcraft with Satanism and repeated the aforementioned images. She added that witches performed human sacrifices and used magic dolls to harm others. We kindly corrected and enlightened her, pointing out the etymological roots of "witch" — the AngloSaxon "Wita," meaning "Wise One." Witches were healers who drew power from the deities of a loving pagan religion. Etymology proved facts she could not argue with. When further corrected, she dumbfoundedly announced that candy corn was available in the entranceway and walked out of the room. Wilson's presentation was offensive and supported long-held misconceptions and outright lies. It is disturbing to see her featured in the pages of Seven Days. It's one thing to spotlight a movie like The Blair Witch Project, where there is no claim of accuracy. It's outrageous to feature an "expert" who presents lies as factual information. — Andrew J. Campbell &c Cindy L. Marcelle Vermont Open Circle Awareness League Middlebury

UP YOUR BUM MARCHE Why, if women dress sexy, they're labeled a slut? With Chris' [Barry; "Bun Marche," November 10] mentality and other morons like him, less and less women will dress sexy for fear of being labeled a slut. Which, if you look around, most women dress like men, go figure. Maybe, just maybe, it's this same mentality that leads to beating sluts, raping sluts, holding sluts hostage, or even killing sluts. Women, I believe, like being treated with respect and maybe like a lady... The mentality such as this makes me ashamed to be a male. And I ask the question, what is a slut? — Tim Seniff Moretown MORE ON WITCHES The current debate in Seven Days about witches and the Wiccan religion ["Weekly Mail," November 17] is a very good illustration of the principle that "a little bit of knowledge goes a long way." As a matter of fact, most of the information we have on witchcraft in Celtic or Anglo-Saxon (pagan) times is derived from the Romantic literature of the late 18th and 19th centuries (see The Invention of Tradition, edited by Eric Hobsawn, for similiar examples). Hugh Trevor Roper also wrote an excellent essay on the European witchhunting crazes of the 15th and 16th centuries and found that although a few victims of the Inquisition did admit to practicing witchcraft: (the good kind!) in order to save their lives, no evidence of organized and sustained "witchery" has ever been discovered (until the end of the 20th century, that is). The basis of the claims of the Romantic fictionalists is a host of innocuous folk customs, such as keeping the yule log under one's bed to prevent fire, or hanging mistletoe at

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Christmas (see Frazier's Golden Bough for numerous other examples). While it is true that Cotton Mather was originally inclined to take the accusations of witchcraft in Salem very seriously, he shortly came to believe otherwise, wrote a lengthy treatise condemning the persecution, and convinced most of the clergy to drop the matter, as a consequence of which fewer witch trials and executions occurred in New England during the 17th century than in any other part of the globe inhabited by European peoples. Most professional historians agree that the controversy in Salem was grounded in disputes over land and a newly developing commercial economy. The "witches" were standing in the way of "progress," pointing fingers and prophesizing evil consequences on the villagers' new-found wealth.

ing. When I buy beer, cigarettes, gasoline, non-kosher pickles or sandwich bags, they come with labels which could easily make me anxious. Thus informed, I choose to buy them anyway, and as consumers we ought to demand that we be allowed to make an informed choice. We do not need the EPA to decide when we should be anxious. But really, it is too much to expect intelligent labeling laws to be passed by a government which has no particular motivation to do so, and seems to be in bed with the BIO, anyway. If the public wants to make informed purchases, we will have to form private consumers' unions, and set up labeling guidelines ourselves. Not only is this more realistic, it is much more effective; you can vote with your wallet much more often than you can with your ballot. — Ethan Mitchell Vergennes

Never mind, "Wise healers drawing power from a loving pagan religion" sells books and a lot of other "what-nots" as well. Such are the advantages of utter confusion. — John Shaplin Burlington

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december 8, 1999

SEVEN DAYS

page 27

sOUnd AdviCe WEDNESDAY

LUNA TICKLED How can you not like a band who manage to reference Noam Chomsky, Charles Aznavour and The 13th Floor Elevators, among others, all on one album? That's why the loyal fans of guitar-band Luna will be thrilled to discover The Days of Our Nights — and to check up on four of alternative rock's enduring geniuses, this Monday at Higher Ground. With The Magic Is Gone and Cancer Conspiracy.

IRISH FOLK, Dockside, 7 p.m. N C . THE GIRLS NEXT DOOR (jazz diva trio), Leunig's, 7:30 p.m. N C . KARAOKE KAPERS W'CHERIE TARTT (hosts Bob Bol>ard & Eric Brenner), 135 Pearl, 9:30 p.m. NC. SIRIUS (groove rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. THE DRUNK S T U N T M E N (rock), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. N C . LIQUID DEAD (groove rock), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. $3. HIP-HOP NIGHT (DJs), Rasputin's, 9:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Manhattan Pub, 9:30 p.m. N C . PRE-MILLENNIUM COLLEGE BASH (DJ Frostee; hip-hop/r&b/retro), Club Extreme, 9 p.m. $2/4. KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. N C . KARAOKE W / M A T T & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. N C . ART EDELSTEIN (jazz), Tavern, Inn at Essex, 6 p.m. N C . RIK PALIERI (folk), Good Times Cafe, 7:30 p.m. $2. TNT KARAOKE, Thirsty Turtle, 9:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Charlie O's, 9 p.m. NC.

CROSSING PATHS Bands don't get much rootsier than this. The four

TREE-TRIMMING PARTY, 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. NC, followed by ZEN & THE ART OF DANCING (trance DJ), 10 p.m. $5/4. DICK EASTER & MIDNIGHT LIGHTNING (blues-rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. N C . CHROME COWBOYS (vintage country), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. DEF JAM PARTY (DJs Joey K & Bobby Sparks; hip-hop/r&b), Club Extreme, 9 p.m. NC/$2. JOHN BROWN'S BODY (reggae), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $3. REGGAE DJ, J.P.'s Pub, 10 p.m. NC. DJ JOEY K (hip-hop), Last Chance, 10:30 p.m. N C . JOE GALLANT'S ILLUMINATI, UNCLE S A M M Y (jazz-groove), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $8. DAVE ABAIR BAND (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. N C . KARAOKE W / M A T T & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. LINE DANCING (instruction w/Dancin' Dean), Cobbweb, 7 p.m. newcomers; 8 p.m. open dance. $5/6. VINCE GILBERT (singer-songwriter), Live Art, T.W. Wood Gallery, 7:30 p.m. $12. PERCY HILL & GUESTS (g roove rock), Pickle Barrel, 8 p.m. $6/8. DAVE KELLER BLUES BAND, ERIC JERARDI, Wobbly Barn, 8 p.m. $6-8.

members of Salamander Crossing, based in Northampton, Mass, met at a banjo workshop in 1991 and have been

THURSDAY

making lively, earthy, countrified music ever since. You

GUY C0LASACC0 (singer-songwriter), Jakes, 6:30 p.m. N C . ELLEN POWELL & MARK VAN GULDEN (jazz), Leunig's, 7:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE W/D. DAVIS, Cactus Cafe, 9 p.m. N C .

might say their Bottleneck Dreams (the name of their last CD) are coming true. Salamander Crossing provide the last Mad River Unplugged show of the season this Friday at Waitsfield's Valley Players Theater.

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SEVEN DAYS

deeember 8, 1 9 9 9

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New Rock

10 FRIDAY PICTURE THIS (jazz), Windjammer, 5:30 p.m. N C . RODNEY & FRIENDS (acoustic), Ri Ra, 6 p.m. N C . T A M M Y FLETCHER & THE DISCIPLES (soul/blues), Dockside Cafe, 7 p.m. N C . BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance Saloon, 7:30 p.m. N C . SWEET HONEY IN THE ROCK (a cappella), Flynn Theatre, 8 p.m. $26/22/17. ELISABETH VON TRAPP W/CHAS ELLER & ERICH KORY (singer-songwriter), Trinity College, Burlington, 7 p.m. $15. ZOLA TURN (acoustic alt-rock; C D signing), Borders, 5 p.m. NC, followed by US H U M A N S (folk/pop duo), 8 p.m. N C . PRIM & PROPER (swing), Rhombus Gallery, 8 p.m. $3-6. MUSIC AGAINST HUNGER W/SHEILA NICHOLLS, DOUGLAS SEPTEMBER, 1 3 HANDS, MARC BRISSON, CRAIG HURWITZ, CHRIS GIBBS (acoustic; benefit for anti-hunger org.), Sweetwaters, 8 p.m. $5 donation. THE FUNKY MIRACLE, Red Square, 9:30 p.m. N C . MISS BEAVER POND CONTEST (drag show; benefit for Pride Day 2000), 135 Pearl, 8:30 p.m. $6, followed by DJ CRAIG MITCHELL, 10 p.m. $4/5. PERRY NUNN (acoustic), Ruben James, 5 p.m. N C , followed by TOP HAT DJ, 11 p.m. NC. CURRENTLY NAMELESS & GUESTS (g roove rock), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. $5. BUCK & THE BLACK CATS . (rockabilly), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. ORGY (retro remix/r&b/hiphop; DJs Frostee & Robbie J.), Club Extreme, 9 p.m. $3/5. DR. BURHMA (soul), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. N C .

weekly

ONE WAY STREET (rock), Alley Ckts, 9:30 p.m. N C . " COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $8. FULL CIRCLE (rock), Henry's Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. ZOLA TURN, CHAINSAWS & CHILDREN, CHIN HO!, BATTERSHELL, THE MAGIC IS GONE (alt-rock; C D release party), Higher Ground, 7:30 p.m. N C , AA. TANTRUM (classic rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $2. KARAOKE W / M A T T & BONNIE DRAKE, Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. NC. STUR CRAZIE (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. N C . JOHN CASSEL (jazz piano), Tavern at the Inn at Essex, 7 p.m. N C . LIVE JAZZ, Diamond Jim's Grille, 7:30 p.m. N C . J I M M Y T & THE COBRAS (rock), Franny O's, 9 p.m. NC. JUKEBOX HEROES (rock), City Limits, 9 p.m. N C . SAND BLIZZARD (rock), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $3. NORTHERN DELIGHTS (acoustic pop), J.P. Morgan's, 7:30 p.m. NC. WILLIE EDWARDS (blues), Charlie O's, 9 p.m. NC. TRIO PRIZMA (Latin jazz), Villa Tragara, 6:30 p.m. $5 with dinner. LIQUID DEAD (groove rock), Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $3. SALAMANDER CROSSING (roots/country), Mad River Unplugged, Valley Players Theater, 8 p.m. $12/15. JOEY LEONE & CHOP SHOP (blues), Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. N C . ' ^ REGGAE DJ, Matterhorn, 9 p.m. NC. SANDRA WRIGHT BAND (blues), Nightspot Outback, 9 p.m. $5-7. LUCKY T O W N (rock), Wobbly Barn, 9 p.m. $6-8.

listings

FIGHTING GRAVITY (modern rock), Pickle Barrel, 9:45 p.m. $6/7.

SATURDAY RANDOM ASSOCIATION (a cappella'; C D release party), Borders, 2 p.m. N C . DAWN DECKER (jazz), Dockside, 7 p.m. N C . TORSION, OVERTHROW, ALABAMA THUNDERPUSSY, SOLARIZED, COLEPITZ, HELL TO PAY (hardcore), 242 Main, 6 p.m. $6. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance Saloon, 7:30 p.m. N C . RACHEL BISSEX & FRIENDS, KATHERINE QUINN (singersongwriters), Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. $6. MISS BEAVER POND CONTEST (drag show; benefit for Pride Day 2000), 135 Pearl, 8:30 p.m. $6, followed by HOLIDAY PARTY W/DJ LITTLE MARTIN, 10 p.m. $6. BUCK & THE BLACK CATS (rockabilly), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. RODNEY & FRIENDS (acoustic), Sweetwaters, 9 p.m. N C . RETRONOME (DJ), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $2. RED BEANS (blues), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

THE CLIQUE (dance band), Rusty Nail, 8:30 p.m. $5. DICK EASTER & MIDNIGHT LIGHTNING (blues-rock), Charlie O's, 9 p.m. N C . SANDRA WRIGHT BAND (blues), Nightspot Outback, 9 p.m. $5-7. LUCKY TOWN (rock), Wobbly Barn, 9 p.m. $6-8. FIGHTING GRAVITY (modern rock), Pickle Barrel, 9:45 p.m. $6/7.

DJS T I M DIAZ & RUGGER (hiphop/r&b), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. FLASHBACK ('80s DJ), Rasputin's, 10 p.m. N C . HIP-HOP PARTY (DJs Spin & Irie), Club Extreme, 9 p.m. $3/5. KIP MEAKER (blues), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m.

SUNDAY JENNi JOHNSON (jazz-blues), Sweetwaters, 11:30 a.m. N C . BOB GAGN0N TRIO (jazz), Borders, 4 p.m. N C . SUNDAY SESSIONS (trad.

HOME S P E A K E R S

where to go After Dark Music Series, Knights of Columbus Hall, Middlebury, 388-0216. Alley-Cats, 4 1 King St., Burl., 6 6 0 - 4 3 0 4 . o Adams Apple Cafe, Portland & Main streets, Morrisville, 8 8 8 - 4 7 3 7 . Backstage Pub, 6 0 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 8 7 8 - 5 4 9 4 . Barnes & Noble Booksellers, 1 0 0 Dorset St., S. Burlington, 8 6 4 - 8 0 0 1 . Boony's, Rt. 2 3 6 , Franklin, 9 3 3 - 4 5 6 9 . Borders Books & Music, 2 9 Church St., Burlington, 8 6 5 - 2 7 1 1 . Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 1 8 6 College St., Burlington, 864-5888. Cactus Cafe, 1 Lawson Ln., Burl., 8 6 2 - 6 9 0 0 . Cambridge Coffee House, Smuggler's Notch Inn, Jeffersonville, 6 4 4 - 2 2 3 3 . Capitol Grounds, 4 5 State St., Montpelier, 2 2 3 - 7 8 0 0 . Champion's, 3 2 M a i n St., Winooski, 6 5 5 - 4 7 0 5 . Charlie O's, 7 0 Main St., Montpelier, 2 2 3 - 6 8 2 0 . Chow! Bella, 2 8 N. Main St., St. Albans; 5 2 4 - 1 4 0 5 . City Limits, 14 Greene St. Vergennes, 8 7 7 - 6 9 1 9 . Club Extreme, 1 6 5 Church St., Burlington, 6 6 0 - 2 0 8 8 . Club Metronome, 1 8 8 Main St., Burlington, 8 6 5 - 4 5 6 3 . Club 1 5 6 , 1 5 6 St. Paul St., Burlington, 6 5 8 - 3 9 9 4 . Cobbweb, Sandybirch Rd., Georgia, 5 2 7 - 7 0 0 0 . Diamond Jim's Grille, Highgate Comm. Shpg. Ctr., St. Albans, 5 2 4 - 9 2 8 0 . Dockside Cafe, 2 0 9 Battery, Burlington, 8 6 4 - 5 2 6 6 . Edgewater Pub, 3 4 0 Malletts Bay Ave., Colchester, 8 6 5 - 4 2 1 4 . Finnigan's Pub, 2 0 5 College St., Burlington, 8 6 4 - 8 2 0 9 . Flynn Theatre, 1 5 3 Main St., Burlington, 8 6 3 - 5 9 6 6 . Franny O's 7 3 3 Queen City Pk. Rd., Burlington, 8 6 3 - 2 9 0 9 . Good Times Cafe, Hinesburg Village, Rt. 1 1 6 , 4 8 2 - 4 4 4 4 . Halvorson's, 16 Church St., Burlington, 6 5 8 - 0 2 7 8 . Henry's, Holiday Inn, 1 0 6 8 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 8 6 3 - 6 3 6 1 . Higher Ground, 1 M a i n St., Winooski, 6 5 4 - 8 8 8 8 . Horn of the Moon Cafe, 8 Langdon St., Montpelier, 2 2 3 - 2 8 9 5 . Jake's, 1 2 3 3 Shelburne Rd., S. Burlington, 6 5 8 - 2 2 5 1 . J.P. Morgan's at Capitol Plaza, 1 0 0 M a i n St., Montpelier, 2 2 3 - 5 2 5 2 . J.P.'s Pub, 1 3 9 M a i n St., Burlington, 6 5 8 - 6 3 8 9 . LaBrioche, 8 9 M a i n St., Montpelier, 2 2 9 - 0 4 4 3 . Last Chance Saloon, 1 4 7 M a i n , Burlington, 8 6 2 - 5 1 5 9 . Leunig's, 1 1 5 Church St., Burlington, 8 6 3 - 3 7 5 9 . Live Art at the Barre Opera House, 4 7 6 - 8 1 8 8 , or Wood Art Gallery, Montpelier, 8 8 3 - 9 3 0 7 . M a d Mountain Tavern, Rt. 1 0 0 , Waitsfield, 4 9 6 - 2 5 6 2 . M a d River Unplugged at Valley Players Theater, Rt. 1 0 0 , Waitsfield, 496-8910. M a i n St. Bar & Grill, 1 1 8 M a i n St., Montpelier, 2 2 3 - 3 1 8 8 . Manhattan Pub, 1 6 7 Main St., Burlington, 6 5 8 - 6 7 7 6 . Matterhorn, 4 9 6 9 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 2 5 3 - 8 1 9 8 . The Mountain Roadhouse, 1 6 7 7 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 2 5 3 - 2 8 0 0 . Nectar's, 1 8 8 M a i n St., Burlington, 6 5 8 - 4 7 7 1 . The Nightspot Outback, Killington Rd., Killington, 4 2 2 - 9 8 8 5 1 3 5 Pearl St., Burlington, 8 6 3 - 2 3 4 3 . Pickle Barrel, Killington Rd., Killington, 4 2 2 - 3 0 3 5 . Radisson Hotel, 6 0 Battery St., Burlington, 6 5 8 - 6 5 0 0 . Rasputin's, 1 6 3 Church St., Burlington, 8 6 4 - 9 3 2 4 . Red Square, 1 3 6 Church St., Burlington, 8 5 9 - 8 9 0 9 . Rhombus, 1 8 6 College St., Burlington, 8 6 5 - 3 1 4 4 . Ripton Community Coffee House, Rt. 1 2 5 , 3 8 8 - 9 7 8 2 . Ri Ra, 1 2 3 Church St., Burlington, 8 6 0 - 9 4 0 1 . Ruben James, 1 5 9 Main St., Burlington, 8 6 4 - 0 7 4 4 . Rusty Nail, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 2 5 3 - 6 2 4 5 . Sha-Booms, 4 5 Lake St., St. Albans, 5 2 4 - 9 0 1 4 . Signal to Noise HQ, 4 1 6 Pine St. (behind Speeder & Earl's), Burlington, 951-1140. Starksboro Community Coffee House, Village Meeting House, Rt. 1 1 6 , Starksboro, 4 3 4 - 4 2 5 4 . Strand Theater, 2 5 Brinkerhoff St., Plattsburgh, 5 1 8 - 5 6 6 - 7 2 6 5 . Swany's, 2 1 5 M a i n St., Vergennes, 8 7 7 - 3 6 6 7 . Sweetwaters, 1 1 8 Church St., Burlington, 8 6 4 - 9 8 0 0 . The Tavern at the Inn at Essex, Essex Jet., 8 7 8 - 1 1 0 0 . Thirsty Turtle, 1 S. Main St., Waterbury, 2 4 4 - 5 2 2 3 . Toadstool Harry's, Rt. 4 , Killington, 4 2 2 - 5 0 1 9 . Trackside Tavern, 18 Malletts Bay Ave., Winooski, 6 5 5 - 9 5 4 2 . Tuckaway's, Sheraton, 8 7 0 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 8 6 5 - 6 6 0 0 . Vermont Pub & Brewery, 1 4 4 College, Burlington, 8 6 5 - 0 5 0 0 . Villa Tragara, Rt. 1 0 0 , Waterbury Ctr., 2 4 4 - 5 2 8 8 . Windjammer, 1 0 7 6 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 8 6 2 - 6 5 8 5 . Wobbly Barn, Killington Rd., Killington, 4 2 2 - 3 3 9 2 .

continued on page 3 1

www.sevendaysvt.com

Make your Christmas rock

TELEVISIONS & V C R S

GUY COLASACCO (singer-songwriter), Jakes, 6:30 p.m. N C . FULL CIRCLE (rock), Henry's Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. N C . BOB GESSER (jazz guitar), Tuckaway's, Sheraton Hotel, 9 p.m. N C . TANTRUM (classic rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $2. SETH YACOVONE BLUES BAND, Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. NC. STUR CRAZIE (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. N C . BACK ROADS (country; line dancing), Cobbweb, 8:30 p.m. $7/12. KARAOKE W/FRANK, Franny O's, 9 p.m. N C . JUKEBOX HEROES (rock), City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. SMOKIN' GRASS (bluegrass), Pierson Lounge, Middlebury, 9 p.m. NC. SAND BUZZARD (rock), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $3. THE DETONATORS (r&b/blues), Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $5. B L 0 0 Z 0 T 0 M Y (jump blues), Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. NC.

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SEVEN DAYS

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THURS, DEC 16

WHAT'S THE SCORE? It seems a long way f r o m "Sweet" to "Disconnect," b u t maybe that's w h a t u r b a n living will do to you. Chris

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three-fourths of Burlington's indie-popsters M y O w n S w e e t before they departed for Boston last year. Meeting d r u m m e r Chris Ott made four, a n d led to the formation of T h e D i s c o n n e c t . Lo a n d behold, the quartet is o p e n i n g a few gigs for N e w York's P i l o t tO G u n n e r , which comprises two other Sweet d r u m m e r Kurt H e r r m a n n and two other former M a d e l i n e s . A n d if you followed that you'll w a n t to follow all these lads — plus

Burlington's The Magic Is Gone — out to Ethan Allen Lanes this Sunday for another balls-out episode of "Rock and Bowl." W h e r e striking out is not a bad thing. DO GOOD DEPT. It's a good week to do good, musically a n d charitably speaking. For starters, the Music Against H u n g e r folks are back in town. Last year the hosts, 1 3 H a n d s , brought their anti-hunger message a n d melodies to Red Square, a n d this Friday they're back, at Sweetwaters, with friends S h e i l a N i c h o l l S and D o u g l a s S e p t e m b e r . Also on h a n d will be local acoustic scenesters M a r c Brisson, C r a i g

efit Pride Day. I'm told it's been 25 years since A m b e r and M a r g a u r i t e LeMay were crowned the co-queens of Beaver Pond. I'm also told this year's pageant has been moved to 135 Pearl from its previous site at the H o t D a m Trailer Park Social R o o m and L a u n d r o m a t , but I think someone's pulling m y leg. O n e thing I'm sure of, though: T h e Pearl Street establishment will be flush with queens this weekend — and they'll be vying for honors in evening gown, sports/leisure wear, talent and poise categories. You w a n n a k n o w the contenders? Check it out for yourself — and check your expectations at the door. We're not done yet, no sirree. Also this Friday, watch o u t for a merry band of some 3 0 Santas and elves, w h o will be terrorizing 25 d o w n t o w n establishments with song. T h a t is, carols. Sponsored by those fine folks at the

Hurwitz and Chris Gibbs. Give it up for the

Magic Hat Brewing Company, "Santa Night"

C h i t t e n d e n Emergency Food Shelf and take a few servings of tuneage.

will benefit local nonprofits that will make

T h i n g s are just getting curiouser a n d curiouser over at 135 Pearl. First of all, Lady Z e n o has been doing m o r e than calling n u m b e r s at those Tuesday night D r a g Bingo games. She's been raising bucks for Vermont's G B L T Pride D a y 2 0 0 0 — those dollar cards and quarter "fines" could a m o u n t to five grand by next spring, speculates bartender Bob B o l y a r d . T h i s weekend, the ante is raised. O r should I say Auntie? Both Friday a n d Saturday nights, the S i s t e r s L e M a y will be hosting the Miss Beaver Pond contest, proceeds of which will also ben-

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 16 S16 ADVANCE S18 DAY OF SHOW EARLY SHOW: DOORS 7 PM SHOW 8PM 104.7 THE POINT WELCOMES

Christmas a joyous m o r n i n g for families that might otherwise go w i t h o u t . T h o u g h the wassailers modestly deem themselves "not very good singers," chances are they are very, very good. After all, St. Nick is watching. W a n n a join the crew, or find out h o w you can make a donation? Call 6 5 8 - 2 7 3 9 . SINGLE TRACKS This Sunday at M e t r o n o m e , catch the brand-new line-up of Be T h a t W a y , which hasn't played out for a year and now calls its music "advanced folk-rock," whatever that means. H o n c h o C h a r l i e M e s s i n g (gui-

tar/vocals) is joined by P a m D i c k e y (marimba,

percussion/vocals), Kate Hirka (guitar/violin/percussion/vocals) a n d John M a r k e t (stand-up bass). Expect early-evening shows only . . . After nearly three m o n t h s of h o n i n g their skills on the road, S m o k i n ' Grass have decided to go back to college. Just kidding — b u t they are playing M i d d l e b u r y College for their last gig of the friggin' millennium, this Saturday at Pierson Lounge . . . Vermont's y o u n g blues p h e n o m S e t h Y a c o v o n e does the honors this m o n t h for B.B King, opening the legendary bluesman's northern shows D e c e m b e r 16, in Lowell, Massachutsetts, a n d D e c e m b e r 18, here in Burlington's Memorial A u d i t o r i u m . . . Snow ho's, look for a free track of Chin Ho! in this month's issue of Snowboarder magazine — and for advance tracks to their new C D on

www.takeoutmusic.com . . . Buck & the Black Cats celebrate six years of catting a r o u n d this Friday and Saturday at Nectar's. T h e boys plan to head into the studio with C h a r l e s Eller next m o n t h to begin work on a n e w disc full of honky-tonkin' rockabilly. Stay t u n e d . . . (Z)

Got a musical tip for Rhythm & News? Send it to Pamela Polston at Seven Days, POB

Band name of the week:

S O N I A DADA

1164,

Burlington, VT 05402, e-mail to sevenday@ together.net, fax 865-1015 or call 864-5684.

tinkerbellbottom

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 17 S3 21+ $518* LATE SHOW 10 P M DJs SPIN HIP HOP/R&B/RARE GROOVE SOUL

1992

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RING IN THE NEW YEAR WITH

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BLUES FOR BREAKFAST LIQUID DEAD SATURDAY. JANUARY 22 $8 AT DOOR

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MAX CREEK SEEKING HOMER

ADVANCE TICKETS AVAILABLE AT HIGHER GROUND, FLYNN THEATRE BOX OFFICE. ALL FLYNN OUTLETS. PURE POP, PEACOCK MUSIC, TONES OR CHARGE BY PHONE at B6-FLYNN

ZOLA TURN, NINJA JANE (self-released, CD) — The tight crunch of dissonant rock 'n' roll guitar always takes me back to 1992. Even though Zola Turn's songwriting stance is progressively fine-tuned and certainly not out of date, the canon from which they extract their sound is resolutely early '90s. It was a time when the pop markets were absorbing once-indie bands like Nirvana quicker than they could produce Nirvana sound-alikes. While those on the frontier created a cutting-edge brand of guitar rock that rang loud and clear with the determined convictions of its artists, lame knock-offs named after one-word household objects diluted the commercially viable scene. It's surprising, then, to see a band like Zola Turn, Burlington's all-female power trio, playing guitar rock with the sort of sincerity this jaded critic figured had vanished a long time ago. Indeed, Zola remember how to rock, and some of their singles have been Buzzsanctioned, such as the aggressive "Tastes Like Nothing," "BulletproofVest" and the title track. This latest C D , Ninja Jane, is perfect proof, and Montreal producer Glen Robinson has helped Zola find perfect pitch. Lead guitarist and vocalist Alice Austin and bassist Julia Austin are sisters with voices like butter and instruments like hot knives. Their interlocking vocal harmonies and swirling guitar combine with Rachel Bischoff's steady, backbone-like drum work to create an outpouring of serious riffs and genuine lyrics. Throughout, the interactive playing of the trio emits a steadfast flow of sentiments alternately sweet and abrasive. While the album is emotionally charged throughout its 12 tracks, to my ears it excels when the grrrls bring it down a notch. "Never Enough?" and "The Same Stars," as well as the densely textured closer, "Real Again" all emit swoony lullaby sways and express the band's sensitive side, though they tend to build in intensity toward the end. Folksy oohs and aahs put the icing on the cake and force a comparison with alterna-country songspinners Freakwater. These less caustic cuts serve as a better context for the Austin sisters' excellent vocal harmonies, more than the other more distorted and boisterous fare. But whether you

iQli t u E U

/HE HIGHER GROUND BOX OFFICE IS OPEN M - F FROM 11 AM SELLING TICKETS TO OUR UPCOMING EVENTS WWW.HIGHERGROUNDIVIUSIC.COM

page 3 0

SEVEN DAYS

deeember 8 , 1 0 9 9

like it rough and edgy or sedate and smooth, Zola Turn play impassioned rock that's easy to listen to. In an era of samplers and quick-spinning deejays, it's kind of refreshing. Zola headline this Friday's "Gargutuan C D Release Party and Fan Appreciation Gig," a free all-ages show presented by Big Heavy World, at Higher Ground. Also playing: Chainsaws and Children (see review below), Chin Ho!, Battershell and The Magic Is Gone. Zola Turn also plays an acoustic set at Borders, Friday at 5.

—JeffFuccillo CHAINSAWS AND CHILDREN, DACA (Big Heavy World, CD) — Remember the amazingly triumphant synth-sound Bob and Doug McKenzie played in the Canadian classic, Strange BreuP. By playing particular melodies on a control board set of piano keys, they issued a strange form of mind control over hockey players dressed in Spacetrooper suits. What? You don't remember? Anyway, Burlington's industrial-coremeisters Chainsaws and Children employ the same synth sound to similar effect. Goofy electronic burps and bleeps introduce many of the tracks off this new collection, .daca. — the first single-artist release from Burlington's Big Heavy World — in an attempt to psychically connect all those who listen. Once they've got you sucked in — which is pretty much right from the first burst of the charging opener, "Newthead," they drop the cheesy synth action for a washed-out, effects-laden blast of heavy, staggering guitars, rapidfire beats, samples and distorted mayhem. Programmed to impel all in its path, intense scorches of sound swell behind the pained vocal deliveries of two guys (unnamed) who seem a bit more serious than anyone I've come across since moving to Burlington last summer. In very much the same way that the electronic introduction to each track stands disconnected from the rest of the song, C & C strike a sharp contrast with their placid, lakeside home town. However spastic, the album is certainly interesting: Funny electronics strike strong juxtapositions with not-so-funny musical and lyrical rants. Like an edgy comedy (the Japanese-made Tetsuo: Iron Man comes to mind), .daca. leaves this listener not quite sure what just happened. Should I cry? Laugh? Be afraid? This is not a ride for just anyone, but those who get off on

this sort of stuff — and you know who you are — will certainly be pleased. Producer Glen Robinson leaves his mark on this one, too, with other credits going to Johnny Ultrahigh and Kron Quasitone. "Newthead" has already dived into the top 10 on the mp3.com industrial charts and reportedly will be available for digital download in Liquid Audio format, including at www.bigheavyworld.com. Chainsaws and Children present this high-voltage material live at the B H W Gargantuan C D Release Party this Friday at Higher Ground (see above).

—JeffFuccillo PHIL ABAIR, THE CENTURY TURNS (Bumbelina Records, CD) — Phil Abair has been a well-known player in the local rock scene for a good many years now. With the release of his all-original debut solo recording, The

Century Turns, Abair steps out from his main gig as keyboardist/ vocalist for the hard-workin' bar band The Abair Bros, and takes a crack at songwriting. Recorded at Archer Studios with

RUSTY

sOUnd AdviCe continued from page 2 9 Irish), Ri Ra, 5 p.m. N C . CHAD (pop-rock), Nectar's, 8 p.m. N C . ROCK 'N' BOWL W/PILOT TO GUNNER, THE MAGIC IS GONE, M I S S Y BLY, THE DISCONNECT (indie rock), Ethan Allen Lanes, Burlington, 8 p.m. $5/8, AA. BE THAT WAY (advanced folk-rock; Charlie Messing C D release party), Club Metronome, 7 p.m. $5, followed by SUNDAY NIGHT MASS (DJ), 9:30 p.m. $2. TOP HAT DJ (hip-hop), Rasputin's, 9:30 p.m. N C . KARAOKE W / M A T T & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. N C . COLIN MCCAFFREY (acoustic guitar), Capitol Grounds, 11 a.m. N C . JAIRO SEQUEIRA (world folk), La Brioche, 11 a.m. N C . HEAVILY BROS, (acoustic rock), Nightspot Outback, 9 p.m. N C . LUCKY TOWN (rock), Wobbly Barn, 9 p.m. $6-8.

3 MONDAY ALLEY CATS JAM W/NERBAK BROS, (rock), Alley Cats, 9:30 p.m. NC. CHAD (pop-rock), Nectar's, 8 p.m. NC. DAVE GRIPPO (funky jazz), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. N C . HELICOPTER CONSORTIUM, I'M BIG & I CAN DIG (freak rock; jazz/groove), Club Metronome,

9 p.m. $2. OPEN MIKE, Rasputin's, 9 p.m. N C . LUNA, THE MAGIC IS GONE, THE CANCER CONSPIRACY (altrock/indie), Higher Ground, 7 p.m. $7/9. AA. BRIAN CLARK, OPEN MIKE (acoustic), Horn of the Moon, 8:30 p.m. N C . JERRY LAVENE (jazz guitar), Chow! Bella, 6 p.m. N C .

KA-BANG

— top 40 rock band out of N Y C no cover charge on Friday (Bobby's holiday gift to you!) C L O S E D for Burton's Christmas Party

December 3 & 4

THE CLIQUE R U S T Y NAIL C H R I S T M A S P A R T Y Molson presents ROOMFUL OF BLUES $10 at the door, Giveaways — Prizes!

THURSDAY DAYVE HUCKETT (jazz guitar), Leunig's, 7:30 p.m. N C . OPEN MIKE (acoustic), Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. Donations. DRAG BINGO W/LADY ZEN0, 135 Pearl, 8 p.m. N C . MARTIN & MITCHELL (DJs), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $3. LIVE MUSIC, Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. THE MIGHTY LOONS (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. N C . ' 8 0 S NIGHT (DJ Frostee), Club Extreme, 9 p.m. $2/NC. BASHMENT (reggae/dancehall DJs), Ruben James, 10 p.m. N C . RUSS & CO. (rock), J.P.'s Pub, 9:30 p.m. N C .

RUSTY NAIL'S NEW YEAR'S EVE E X T R A V A G A N Z A Voted Best

POP • ROCK • DISCO • FUNK $35 in advance includes noise-makers & festoonery, champagne toasts, big screen t.v., non-stop music with band and d.j. 8pm-3am. 2 5 3 •N A I L

PHIL ABAIR, THE ABAIR BROS. (rock; C D release party), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $5. NORTH COUNTRY FAIR (folk), Tavern, Inn at Essex, 6 p.m. N C . ®

LATE NIGHT BREAKFAST TONS OF SURPRISESI

a T J J"? a

New Year's hotline

wrEviEwrEviEwrEviEwrEvi Dan Archer — who also contributes most of the guitar work here — the collection has a big, reverby sound, occasionally glossy like '80s pop, but with a bit of an edge. His keyboard playing is solid and tasteful. I particularly liked the piano on the mellowish opener, "Right Time." "Say It Twice" is on the quiet side, too; its pretty melody and ringing tone is reminiscent of Steely Dan. The mood switches abruptly to hotter, but standard bar-band, action with "How Much Blues," which features some ripping guitar from Kip Meaker. Abair has an expressive voice and belts it out on this track and on the vaguely Stones-like "The Reaper." It's back to a more sweeping rock sound on the title track, which closes this seven-song disc. In addition to backing tracks from other bandmates, Abair is joined on Century by Pork Tornado/Phish drummer Jon Fishman, who gets busy — occasionally too busy — on three tracks. Other contributions come from Dave Abair and bandmate Brother Kenny Gulfield, as well as guitarist Aaron Hersey. Abair's lyrics seem a little obvious, and I could go for a few more hooks, but most of the pieces are solidly in place — certainly enough to make you hope he keeps writing into the next century. Abair and pals celebrate this one with a release party at Higher Ground this Tuesday. — Paul Gibson

MAYBEITSMUCHTOOEARLYINTHEGAMEBUTfTHOU

3a o

135 Pearl Street Burlington 863-2343

7:30pm-2am Mon.-Thurs. 5:00pm-2am Fri.-Sun. AVAILABLE FOR YOUR PRIVATE PARTIES

December si, i m

SoULNt j

Extraordinary Banquef

Including Drinks RED BEANS, ON YOUR WAY UP (Self-Adhesive Records, CD) — As their name implies (formerly with "And Rice"), Red Beans serves up a savory stew of New Orleans-flavored roots music. They play blues in a broad sense, from the slow and low-down to electric jump to nearhippie rock. Once based in Burlington, the quartet now lives in Boston and recorded a new disc, On Your Way Up, in a mere 16 hours at Fort Apache in Cambridge with Dan Peraino producing. With little time for agonizing or overdubs, the recording sounds live and pleasantly loose — it's got that swing. Songwriter/vocalist and guitarist/keyboardist Dwight Ritscher seems to be the main man, but guitarist Greg Paraskos, bassist Gretchen Anderson and drummer Tauras Biskis all lock right in and more than pull their weight. Ritscher's got a soulful, raspy voice, just right for this kind of music, and he's no slouch on guitar, either. I especially liked "Let's Stay Tight," with its Steve Cropperstyle guitar riff and Memphis soul feel, but unfortunately the words sound like they came out of someone's high school yearbook. There's not much pressure to innovate when it comes to blues lyrics, and Ritscher doesn't seem to be trying too hard to change that. But I like how he transplants the break from James Brown's "I Feel Good" into ""Hit Me," and the band's jumpin' take on Memphis Slims "Everyday I Have the Blues." These guys may not have the rice anymore, but they still got plenty of flavah. Red Beans turn Red Square into a roadhouse — if that's possible — at their CD release party Saturday. — Paul Gibson

• M

champagne agical Mysfery Ride H«**p| in Burlingfon

'-'Wt

Tickets $100

0 Red Square and Pore Pop §

THIS THURSDAY ZEN & T H E A R T OF DANCING Friday and Saturday, December 10 & 11 8:30pm $6 A benefit for Pride Vermont

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Hosted by Amber & Margaurite, The Sisters LeMay, Co-Miss Beaver Pond '74 SATURDAY, D E C E M B E R 11

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SEVEN DAYS

page 3 1 ml

the skinny on fat: ^ E o

^ ^ ^

YOR

N o fat? N o carbohydrates? All grapefruit? There are almost as many diets out there as people obsessing about their weight. If some sound too easy, they probably are. O p r a h Winfrey's battle of the bulge has led her to many diets and resulted in well-publicized fat fluctuations. That's why U V M professor Jean Harvey-Berino credits her in an upcoming speech, "Oprah's Obstacles: T h e Quest for Permanent Weight Management." Harvey-Berino, a member of the nutrition and food science faculty, serves up strategies for staying healthy and trim. Free. Info, 656-2980. Thursday, December 9. 101 Stafford Hall, UVM, Burlington, 3:30-4:30p.m.

t <

< solstice survival:

"Old Christmas Return'd or The Waits Wassail"

'There is no music like that music, no drama like the drama of the saints rejoicing, the sinners moaning, the tambourines racing, and all those voices coming together and crying holy unto the Lord," James Baldwin wrote in The Fire Next Time. Theater Group Ltd. puts on a comparable, albeit earthly, performance in Night Fires — a tapestry of poetry, song and stories that celebrates the winter solstice in all its variations. Light your fire — or at least the darkest days of winter — with Celtic rounds, Schubert's Ave Maria and the words of all kinds of authors, including Baldwin. Thursday, December 9. Unitarian Universalist Church, Rutland, 8 p.m. Saturday, December 11. Unitarian Universalist Church, Burlington, 5 & 8p.m. Sunday, December 12. North Congregational Church, St. Johnsbury, 4p.m. Tuesday, December 14. City Hall, Montpelier, 8p.m. $8. Info, 863-1024.

"A magical concert." "Worth the Waits." (Yorkshire Evening Press) Traditional and unusual caro fromfolkand classical repertories from 1400-1800 will be performed by the six scarletclad town musicians from the City of York, England on their dozens of medieval and renaissance instruments. A fun and informal holiday concert by one of England's best-known music ensembles.

Artists' Mediums

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she's the one

• The members of Sweet Honey in the Rock refer to their ensemble as "she." Founder Bernice Johnson Reagon describes the all-female a cappella chorus as "a woman born of a struggling union of black women singers." Although the vibrant vocal group is a sextet, only five sing — one is a sign-language interpreter who helps convey the message of AfricanAmerican heritage, political activism and social consciousness. Diversity shows in the dynamic, intelligent and harmonic music that ranges from protest anthems to jazz. Grrrrrl power indeed. Friday December 10. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 8p.m. $17-26. Info, 863-5966.

SUNDAY D E C E M B E R 12 A T 7 : 3 0 PM, $ 1 5 . 0 0 IRA A L L E N CHAPEL

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snow business:

What did our forefathers do without weather forecasts? O n e of the few benefits of winter in New England — besides character building, and of course, skiing — is waiting on and worrying about rain, snow, sleet and hail. Meteorologist Steve Maleski of the Fairbanks Museum is the real deal — he can make an approaching cold front sound as dramatic as the T V movie of the week. T h e weatherman hosts a slide show and talk on Vermont's snow season, and provides information on how snowfall is measured. Wishful thinking? Friday, December 10. North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 7-8p.m. $4. Info, 229-6206.

how swede it is

South Burlington C o m m u n i t y C h o m s

• Lucia was a Sicilian girl who martyred herself rather than marry a pagan Roman soldier. She earned sainthood and an important role in Swedish culture. According to legend, she appeared above a Swedish lake during a famine on the longest night of the year. A Yuletide tradition was born: T h e Swedes chose the warm-weather saint to symbolize hope for the end of winter. T h e Sancta Lucia festival features a white-robed girl crowned with lit candles, a candlelight procession and, of course, Swedish meatballs. A local church makes the Norse custom part of Northern Vermont culture with pageantry, music and a traditional supper. Saturday, December 11. Covenant Community Church, Essex, 4:30 & 7:30p.m. $6.50. Register, 899-1253.

presents John Rutter's

worth the waits:

nd ojh er holidawseleCTions December 10, 1999 South Burlington High School 8 pm

Saggbut is not a direct result of holiday overeating. It's an nowobscure instrument revived by the York Waits, a group that proves Christmas music goes back farther than Bing Crosby and Mel Torme. T h e ensemble wears costumes based on Tudor designs and I plays music from a wide range of 1500s European sources. T h e original waits were night watchmen who used music to keep themselves, and sometimes the town, awake. Todays York Waits have revived the band as it was in its 16th-century heyday. Check out the crumhorns, shawms and hurdy-gurdies at their seasonal show of wassailing. Sunday, December 12. Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 1 p. m. Free. Info, 656-4455. Ira Allen \ Chapel, UVM, Burlington, 7:30p.m. $15. Info, 656-3085. Tuesday, December 14. Trinity Church, \ Rutland, 7:30p.m. $15. Info, 775-5413.

Tickets: $6 -adults $4 - students/seniors Available at door

kids

THE ROLE OF THE ARTS IN WALDORF EDI CATION

A n art s h o w by W a l d o r f s t u d e n t s K - 1 2 at L a k e C h a m p l a i n W a l d o r f S c h o o l , 3 5 9 T u r t l e L a n e

through December 15 at J a g e r DiPaola K e m p Design Gallery 47 Maple Street, Burlington

through January 15 O P E N I N G S A T U R D A Y , D E C E M B E R 18, 5 - 7 P M Call 985-2827 for more details

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6:30 -11 pm. 6:30 - 7pm Beginner Tango Lesson 7 - 7:30pm Beginner Swing Lesson 7:30 - 11pm Open Dancing For more information contact: The Greater Burlington YMCA 266 College St., Burlington 862-9622

page 3 2

SEVEN DAYS

8 Wednesday music

lake Champlain Waldorf School

With

Seven Days recommends you confirm all c a l e n d a r events, as times and dates may c h a n g e after the paper is printed.

Contents dfleptes&ments Puzea Widfung, We££

YMCA We build strong kids, strong families, strong communities 1

december 8, 1 9 9 9

• Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." ORIANA SINGERS: William Metcalfe directs the choral ensemble in a performance of carols, motets and seasonal readings. St. Paul's Cathedral, Burlington, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 864-0741. JAZZ CONCERT: The student ensemble offers standards fare at the UVM Recital Hall, Burlington, 7:30-9 p.m. Free. Info, 656-3040. DARTMOUTH COLLEGE DECIBELLES: The female a cappella group sings pop and traditional favorites. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. STUDENT SHOWCASE: Choral coeds and other music students perform for the public in Dibden Center for the Arts,

Johnson State College, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 635-1386.

dance

'NEW STUFF': An informal showing features dances and "experiments" by student choreographers. Dance Theater, Center for the Arts, Middlebury College, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433. 'THE NUTCRACKER': The Albany Berkshire Ballet kicks off the Christmas season with the timeless tale of dancing confections. Lebanon Opera House, N.H., 7 p.m. $18-22. Info, 603-448-0444.

film

'VOICES HEARD, SISTERS UNSEEN': Grace Poore's documentary chronicles obstacles faced by women trying to recover from abuse. Martin Luther King Lounge, Billings Student Center, UVM, Burlington, 3-5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 658-3131.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: The human fig-

ure motivates aspiring and accomplish®! artists in a weekly drawing session at tkt Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-7165. OPEN PAINTING: Bring your pain: \ brush and palette to this creative exprcg sion session. Art Gallery of Barre, 1-4 p.m. Free. Info, 476-1030.

SONG AND STORYTIME: Threes are company at this singing read-along. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 1010:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. STORYTIME: Young readers ages three to five learn from lighthearted literature, songs and activities at the S. Burlington Community Library, 11 a.m. Free. Register, 652-7080. 'TINY TOT' STORYTIME: The three and under crowd hears stories read aloud. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 864-8001.

etc

COMMUNITY SERVICE SILENT AUCTION: Bid on items donated by local merchants, restaurants and artisans SHORT FICTION READING: Loci — and help send students to impoverliterati Susan Thomas and Francesca <> ished areas for spring break. Delahanty Cannan share their works at Rhombus Hall, Trinity College, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 8 Free. Info, 846-7194. p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-3144. LUNCHTIME LECTURE: A theater 'LITERATURE OF THE FAR NORTH': A discussion ofVelma Wall s'j prof revisits turn-of-the-century fashion Two Old Women sheds light on a relati' ie- trends. Fleming Museum, UVM, Burlington, 12:15-1:15 p.m. Free. Info, ly unknown part of the world. S. 656-0750. Burlington Community Library, 7 p m UNDERSTANDING CHINESE Free. Info, 652-7080. MEDICINE': Reps from the New DAVID BAIN: Middlebury College ct 0 England Center of Acupuncture and brates two centuries of higher educatio I Herbology get to the point at the with a signing by the author of a new coffee-table history, The College on the Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 985-0718. Hill. McCullough Student Center, LAW WORKSHOP: Local attorney Middlebury College, 11:30 a.m. - 1:3° Sandra Baird conducts a clinic on legal p.m. Free. Info, 443-5198.

words

leftovers

and late arrivals

December 7-21 Mon-Fri 10-4

11th Street Stu 21 King /

658-1799

i special 1 pricing I

post-factory

sale

iff! rights and family court. Community Justice Center, Burlington, 2-4 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7155. BURLINGTON HISTORY: Annie Dispirito talks about the Queen City's storied past. Champlain Senior Center, Burlington, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 658-3585. FOREST RESOURCE SEMINAR: The Web-wise chief executive of Forestworld.com discusses "green wood" and other forestry issues on his Internet site. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 656-5440. GIFT WRAPPING BENEFIT: Tapewielding volunteers wrap your package up pretty to benefit the Community Health Center's literacy program. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 4-9 p.m. Donations. Info, 860-4319. KINDERGARTEN READINESS: Community members compare notes on skill development and school readiness. 314 John Dewey Hall, UVM, Burlington, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 656-0500. GRADUATED LICENSE FORUM: State senators let students and community members drive discussion of a bill that would make it harder to get a license. Mount Mansfield Union High School, Jericho, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 899-5463. GRADUATE SCHOOL OPEN HOUSE: Check out the administration and management, clinical psychology, education, theology and English-as-a-second-language programs at Klein Hall, St.

Michael's College, Colchester, 4:30-6 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2100. WASTE WOOD RECOVERY WORKSHOP: Wood workers learn how to turn scrap lumber into full-length board. Williston Drop-Off Center, 1-4 p.m. Free. Info, 241-3477 URBAN FORESTRY VOLUNTEERS: Branch Out Burlington holds its monthly meeting to spruce up the city. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-8245. ATTENTION DEFICIT MEETING: Children and adults with this neurobiological disorder find support and information at the Austin Auditorium, Fletcher Allen Health Care Center, Burlington, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 651-7615.

thursday music

• Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." CHOIR AND JAZZ CONCERT: The student concert choir and jazz ensemble perform at the S. Burlington High School Auditorium, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 652-7060. MUSICAL THEATER SCENES: Students stage an evening of vignettes from popular musicals. Concert Hall, Center for the Arts, Middlebury, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433.

Howard Frank Mosher signs

The Fall of the Year Written in Howard Frank Mosher's distinctively wry and ironical voice, with the straight-ahead narrative action that characterizes all his fiction. The Fall of the Yearxs a celebration of love in all it's forms, from friendship to the most passionate romance, in a place where family, community, vocation, and the natural world still matter profoundly.

Wednesday December 15th • 7pm

BORDERS' BOOKS,

MUSIC,

VIDEO,

AND A

CAFE.

2 9 C h u r c h Street • B u r l i n g t o n « 8 6 5 - 2 7 1 1

december 8, 1 9 9 9

SEVEN DAYS

page 3 3 ^

am.

dance ' T H E N U T C R A C K E R ' : See December 8, 4 & 7 p.m.

drama

etc

' T H E B E T R O T H E D ' : Students stage a version of the commedia dell'arte style creation by Flaminio Scala. McCarthy Arts Center, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535. ' T H E ROVER': The bawdy play penned by Aphra Behn features flirtations and deceptions during a 17thcentury Neapolitan Carnavale. Wright Theatre, Center for the Arts, Middlebury College, 8 p.m. $4. Info, 443-6433.

G I F T W R A P P I N G BENEFIT: See December 8. KINDERGARTEN READINESS: See December 8. WASTE W O O D RECOVERY W O R K S H O P : See December 8, Residuum, Barre, 1-4 p.m. ' O P R A H ' S OBSTACLES': A professor from the nutrition and food science department weighs in on the quest for permanent pound management. See "to do" list, this issue. 101 Stafford Hall, UVM, Burlington, 3:30-4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 656-2980. H U M A N R I G H T S TALK: Activist and educator Joseph Wronka discusses U.S. social policy on human rights issues. Memorial Lounge, Waterman Building, UVM, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 862-4929. OLD NORTH END COMMUNITY D I N N E R : Neighbors sit down to a warm winter meal to celebrate a monthful of holidays. McClure Multigenerational Center, Burlington, 5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0984. SEXUAL D E V E L O P M E N T TALK: Parents learn how to cover the "birds and bees" at a session exploring healthy sexual development in kids and adolescents. Family Connection Center of Chittenden County, Burlington, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Register, 864-7467. 'CALL O F T H E DOVE': Share music and "poetry for peace" with fellow mellow types at the Waterfront Holistic Healing Center, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 865-2756.

words M I N I M A L PRESS COLLECTIVE: The local literary group holds a reading and meeting to encourage other guerrilla publishers. Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 8 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-3144. B O O K S I G N I N G : Artist Douglas Lazarus and author Alan McKibben sign their co-creation, Hudson River Journey: An Artist's Perspective. Book Rack, Champlain Mill, Winooski, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 655-0231. MEL GUSSOW: The New York Times drama critic discusses and signs his work about playwright Edward Albee, subtitled, "A singular journey." Studio Theatre, Center for the Arts, Middlebury College, 12:30 p.m. Free. Register, 443-3168.

kids STORY & C R A F T T I M E : Kids three and up engage in artful educational activities. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10-10:45 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. N E W B O O K STORY T I M E : The four-and-up crowd celebrates the Festival of Lights with a reading of

Community Land Trust, 6 p.m. Free. Register, 660-0642. ' N I G H T FIRES': Songs, poetry and dances take the form of a ceremonial solstice prayer to celebrate the shortest day of the year. See "to do" list, this issue. Unitarian Universalist Church, Rutland, 8 p.m. $8. Info, 863-1024.

Hanukkah! by Roni Schotter. Barnes &C Noble, S. Burlington, 3:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. 'PRESENTS FOR T H E BIRDS': Preschoolers spread holiday cheer to the winged this winter at a birdfriendly tree trimming at Green Mountain Audubon Society Nature Center, Huntington, 1-2 p.m. $3. Register, 434-3068.

VANCE GILBERT: The Bostonbased singer-songwriter plays an acoustic set for folks at the T.W. Wood Art Gallery, Vermont College, Montpelier, 7:30 p.m. $12. Info, 229-4668.

H O M E O W N E R S H I P ORIENTAT I O N : Potential buyers learn how to shop — and pay — for a home with the help of services at the Burlington

SEXUAL ASSAULT SURVIVORS G R O U P : Victims of violence support and educate their peers. Puffer United Methodist Church, Morrisville, 6:308 p.m. Free. Info, 888-5256.

• Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." SWEET H O N E Y IN T H E ROCK: The a cappella ensemble fuses gospel, soul, funk, folk, blues and African music in a harmonic convergence of sister sounds. See "to do" list, this issue. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 8 p.m. $17-26. Info, 863-5966. ELISABETH V O N TRAPP: The halls are alive with the sound of Maria von Trapp's granddaughter performing Austrian carols, American folk ballads and other seasonal songs. Mann Hall, Trinity College, Burlington, 7 p.m. $15. Info, 846-7196. 'LESSONS A N D CAROLS': The college chorale and Madrigal Singers blend carols and biblical texts in a traditional Christmas concert. St. Michael's College Chapel, Colchester, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535. CHAMBER M U S I C ONCERT: Ensembles from the Vermont Youth Orchestra entertain shoppers with holiday favorites. Champlain Mill, Winooski, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 658-4708. M O N T E V E R D I HOLIDAY C O N CERT: Students of all ages from the local music school perform vocal and instrumental works. Bethany Church, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-9000. AULOS ENSEMBLE: "Historically informed" performers bring baroque

New Year's Eve B a s h $80 per couple: Buffet, Fireworks, Door Prize. DJ From 8 - 1 : 3 0 Now Booking Holiday Parties ^Suggested Dinner

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art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. S T U D I O SALE: Local artists Claude Lehman, Jane Kramer, Dee DeLuca, Fiona Cooper, Deb Lyons and Mark Sasahara offer pottery and more at a holiday sale. 214-216 Battery St., Burlington, 2-9 p.m. Free. Info, 660-4792.

words

f r o ; SUNDAYS

9 P.M.

LOUNGE

FUNK

136 CHURCH STREET • BURLINGTON 859-8909

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deceiver 8/1999

Friday

Dr. Burhma Great Soul Band

Saturday K»P M e a k e r Blazin' Guitar Hero

IF YOU LIKE THE METERS

26 Main St/Montpelier/229-0509

'A C H R I S T M A S STORY': Local charities benefit from a showing of the comic holiday tale about a boy who longs for a BB gun. Burlington High School Auditorium, 7:30 p.m. $2. Info, 951-8845.

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• Penne Pasta a n d Asparasus

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film

etc BURLINGTON CURRENCY P O T L U C K : Feast with friends while you learn more about the buying power of "Burlington Bread." McClure Multigenerational Center, Burlington, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 434-8103. 'A CELEBRATION O F H U M A N R I G H T S ' : Mayor Peter Clavelle joins local activists to commemorate the 51st anniversary of the signing of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Burlington City Hall Auditorium, 11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 862-4929. W I N T E R W E A T H E R SLIDE S H O W : "Eye on the Sky" meteorologist Steve Maleski demonstrates how snowfall is measured. See "to do" list, this issue. North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 7-8 p.m. $4. Info, 229-6206. COMMUNITY-BASED FORESTRY: Local landowners learn about getting green-certified at the Vermont Leadership Center, E. Charleston, 6:30 p.m. $5. Info, 723-4705. G L B T Q S U P P O R T G R O U P : Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and questioning youth make new friends and get support. Outright Vermont, Burlington, 6:30-9 p.m. Free. Info, 800-452-2428.

T r a d i t i o n a l Irish m u s i c s e s s i o n s 5 - 8 p m

• Herb Crusted Rack of Lamb

• Vermont Chicken Stuped with • Greek Seafood Pasta

drama ' T H E B E T R O T H E D ' : See December 9. ' T H E ROVER': See December 9. 'MY T H R E E ANGELS': Three convicts in French Guyana save a family from disaster on Christmas Eve. City Hall Arts Center, Montpelier, 8 p.m. $8. Info, 229-0492. ' T H E BEST C H R I S T M A S PAGEANT EVER': Choose from simultaneous performances of this Christmas comedy about a couple forced to cast a brood of rascals in their holiday play. Champlain Arts Theater Company performs at Burlington City Hall Auditorium, 7 p.m. $4. Info, 863-5966. Montpelier Theatre Guild Union takes the stage at Union Elementary School, Montpelier, 7 p.m. $6. Info, 244-4161.

kids S O N G A N D STORYTIME: See December 8, 10:15-10:45 a.m. ' M U S I C W I T H ROBERT A N D GIGI': Kids sing songs with Robert Resnik and his fiddle-playing friend Gigi Weisman. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11-11:30 a.m. Free. Register, 865-7216. SANTA CLAUS VISIT: Kids team up with St. Nick before a rousing college basketball game. Tarrant Recreation Center, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 6 p.m. $5. Info, 654-2498.

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M e T R o N o M e • RINK-DRNCE

dance INFORMAL D A N C E S H O W I N G : The Dance Company of Middlebury performs choreographic works-inprogress. Dance Theater, Center for the Arts, Middlebury College, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433.

youngest daughter of Charles and Anne Morrow Lindbergh signs copies of Under a Wing, a portrait of her famous flying family. Champlain Senior Center, Burlington, 4-7 p.m. Free. Info, 658-3585.

REEVE L I N D B E R G H : The

Club

R e s t a u r a n t 30+ s c e n e

music to life via flute, recorder, oboe, violin, cello and harpsichord. Chandler Music Hall, Randolph, 8 p.m. $15. Info, 728-9133.

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"YAINK" N I G H T 15% o f f lunch S d i n n e r with valid Ri-Ra card C a t c h all o f y o u r f a v o r i t e s p o r t i n g e v e n t s o n o u r "BIG" s c r e e n . Tableside magician, Steve T a u b m a n 7-8:3opm A.Y.C.E. W i n g s 9 til m i d n i g h t o n l y $6.95 C o o r s Light S Bud Light B o t t l e s o n l y $2

RUB QUIZ TUESDAYS C o m e in and r a c k y o u r b r a i n w i t h

"One of the nation's 25 best craft breweries"

ON TAP: Bombay Grat IpA W e e Heavy %% W e e Heavy ^ comih<J very $oob Spuyteft Duvvil Oubke! Weft Vubke! W< Vofoite Bftter Currently |\lainele« Brewtnajter s Cup Burly Irfcli Ale Vertnoht SfnolW Porter 2 Cafc-CobJitioheJ Ale? G</er Jack Gufhbetf ptot? 3.75

other teams while competing for tons of prizes. T h e f u n starts w i t h "Quizmaster Ray" at 8:30pm

WEDNESDAYS " H a v e y o u h a d y o u r Slo Bob

today?"

Try Magic Hat's n e w e s t c r e a t i o n a v a i l a b l e o n l y a t Ri-Ra, $3 p i n t

FRIDAYS H a p p y H o u r w i t h "RODNEY" 5-7pm

Ri-Ra serves Traditional Irish and creaative Pub Fayre daily prom 11:30am — Midnight WE PROUDLY SERVE THE IMPERIAL 2 0 o z PINT!

8 6 0 - 9 4 0 1 123 Church St. ^ ^ Burlington

music

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•AJso, see listings in "Sound Advice." HOLIDAY POPS Timothy Hankewich conducts the Verme. :, Symphony Orchestra in a program of holiday favorites from around the globe. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 3 & 8 p.m. $9-35. Info, 863-5966. THE SAMADHI SINGERS: Members and friends of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered community sing sacred music at Ira Allen Chapel, UVM, Burlington, 8 p.m. Donations. Info, 644-1910. VERMONT YOUTH STRINGS: The beginning ensemble performs works by Mozart and Moussorgsky. McClure Multigenerational Center, Burlington, 11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 658-4708. AMBASSADORS HANDBELL CHOIR: Ring in the holidays with traditional English bell music. Barnes 6 Noble, S. Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. ESSEX ALLIANCE CHURCH CHOIR: The vocal group sings secular and non-secular songs for shoppers at Barnes ' &C Noble, S. Burlington, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info. 864-8001. YOUTH PHILHARMONIA: Young musicians play pieces by Mozart, Vaughn Williams and Haydn. Colchester High School, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 658-4708. STUDENT CONCERT: Vocal students pipe up at an end-of-the-semester performance. Concert Hall, Center for the Arts, Middlebury College, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433. WINTER CONCERT: The Lakes Region Youth Orchestra plays works of Dvorak, Handel and Hoist. Fine Arts Center, Castleton State College, 7 p.m. $6. Info, 446-3488.

dance

BALLROOM DANCING: The local chapter of the U.S. Amateur Ballroom Dancers Association steps

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out with waltz, foxtrot, swing and Latin styles. Frederick Turtle Middle School, S. Burlington, 7-11 p.m. $10. Info, 879-0501. DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE: Set peace in motion by participating in simple circle dances and group chants from around the world. Jericho Community Center, 7-8:30 p.m. $1-5. Info, 482-2836. CONTRA DANCE: Rick Mohr calls for Malcolm Sanders and Pete Johannsen at this northern-style community hoedown. Edmunds School Cafeteria, Burlington, 8 p.m. $6. Info, 865-9363. 'JEWELS AND INCENSE': Liesa and the Masouda Dance Ensemble present a night of Middle Eastern and Mediterranean moves. Technology Building, Clinton Community College, Plattsburgh, N.Y., 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 518-561-0075. SQUARE DANCE: The Central Vermont Squares take sides for a Christmas dance. Capitol City Grange, Montpelier, 7:30-10:30 p.m. $4.50-5.50. Info, 485-6739.

drama

'THE BETROTHED': See December 9. 'THE ROVER': See December 9, 2 & 8 p.m. 'MY THREE ANGELS': See December 10, 2 & 8 p.m. VERMONT STAGE COMPANY: The troupe's new Actor's Lab debuts with short plays and monologues by Jane Anderson, John Guare, David Ives and Amy Rubin. ART Studio Theatre, Hannaford Career Center, Middlebury, 8 p.m. $6. Info, 656-4351. 'THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER': See December 10, Burlington City Hall Auditorium, 3 & 7 p.m. $7. Union Elementary School, Montpelier, 2 & 7 p.m. 'A COMMUNITY CHRISTMAS CAROL': Actors read the entire Dickens classic, and join in the caroling after the show. Old Parish Church, Weston, 7:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 824-5288.

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HOTTEST A L L - N U D E C L U B IN THE NORTHEAST

CHRISTMAS EYE

Open N o o n - 7 p m ^ N o Cover ^

Birthday Parties • Strip-O-Grams Lingerie Modeling Private One-on-One Sessions Wickedest Bachelor Parties

T O U R PLACE OR OURS? 6 - 8 GIRLS DAILY! w VISIT O U R N E W Jf T^WIBSITEJ

WWW.DIANONDDOLLSCiUB.CON N E W DANCERS A L W A Y S W E L C O M E

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4628 Route 9 South, Plattsburgh Grand Isle/Plattsburgh ferry now runs 24 hours a day!

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. STUDIO SALE: See December 10, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m.

words

CIVIL WAR BOOK SIGNING: Jeffrey D. Marshall signs his collection of Civil War letters, A War of the People. Better Planet Books, St. Albans, noon - 2 p.m. Free. Info, 524-6835.

kids

CANDLEHOLDER WORKSHOP: Kids six and up bring clean jars to transform into stained glass candleholders. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. TRACEY CAMPBELL PEARSON: The local author of Where Does Joe Go? gives little listeners the scoop on creemee stand operator's winter whereabouts. Children's Pages, Champlain Mill, Winooski, 2 p.m. Free. Info, 655-0231. HOLIDAY STORY TIME: Tots hear tales celebrating various December holidays. Deerleap Books, Bristol, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 453-5684. FAMILY DAY: Children and parents make cookies, decorations and music at a reading of A Child's Christmas In Wales. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 12-4 p.m. Free. Info, 253-8358. STORYTIME: Young readers delve into classic and new tales at a laidback literary happening. Borders, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 11-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-2711.

sport

SKI AND SKATE SALE: Gear up for winter without breaking the bank. Look for second-hand sporting goods at Montpelier High School, 9 a.m. 2 p.m. Free. Info, 225-8040. DEMO DAYS: Skiers and snowboarders test out new toys for the sea-

RELEASES & GENERAL MOVIES:

$ 2 . 5 0 1 day rentals

•

Rent 2 movies, 3rd F R E E

•

J E W E L R Y • C D s • T - S H I R T S (Backstreet B o y & N ' S y n c ) * 215

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son of sliding ahead. Stowe Mountain Resort, 8 a.m. - 4 p.m. Free. Info, 253-3436. MOUNT ELLEN HIKE: Join the Burlington section of the Green Mountain Club on a 10-mile trek to Glen Ellen Lodge. Meet at 8 a.m. Free. Register, 658-0912. COTTON BROOK LOOP: Hike or cross-country ski the Stowe Trail with the Montpelier section of the Green Mountain Club. Meet at 9 a.m. Free. Info, 223-7035.

etc

'NIGHT FIRES': See December 9, Unitarian Universalist Church, Burlington, 5 & 8 p.m. WINE TASTING: Get in touch with your inner oenophile at an introduction to various vini. See story, this issue. Wine Works, 133 St. Paul St., Burlington, noon - 4 p.m. Free. Info, 951-9463. 'BOOT CAMP FOR N E W DADS': Fathers pick up post-natal pointers in an instructive session on caring for newborns. Burgess Auditorium, Fletcher Allen Health Care, Burlington, 9 a.m: - noon. $20. Register, 652-5131. CHURCH STREET HOLIDAY CELEBRATION: Get into the spirit with free horse-drawn carriage rides and a post office for letters to Santa. Venues around the Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, noon - 4 p.m. Free. Info, 863-1648. DOG CARICATURES: Artist Mark Hughes makes silly sketches of posing pooches to benefit Save the Greyhound Dogs. Pet Food Warehouse, S. Burlington, 10:30 a.m. $10. Info, 862-5514. SANCTA LUCIA FESTIVAL: Celebrate the holiday the Swedish way, with songs, music, pageantry and a meatball supper. See "to do" list, this issue. Covenant Community Church, Essex, 4:30 & 7:30 p.m. $6.50. Register, 899-1253. PTO CRAFT SHOW: Browse a wide selection of handmade goods while a "Creations Corner" occupies the kids. Hiawatha Elementary School, Essex Junction, 9 a.m. - 4

p.m. Free. Info, 879-1626. 'CHRISTMAS IN T H E PARK': Rail City gets into the holiday spirit with sleigh rides, music and hot chocolate. Taylor Park, St. Albans, 14 p.m. Free. Info, 524-2444. COOLIDGE CHRISTMAS: The presidential homestead gets decked out in traditional decor for a holiday open house. Calvin Coolidge State Historic Site, Plymouth Notch, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Free. Info, 672-3773. AGRI-TOURISM FORUM: Rep. Bernie Sanders invites Vermonters to discuss how federal agri-tourism funding can best boost the rural economy. Statehouse, Montpelier, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 225-4115. EARTH STEWARDSHIP: Songs, chants and traditional stories from around the world emphasize responsible care for the environment. Vermont Leadership Center, E. Charleston, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 723-4705. MEDICAL HISTORY TALK: Two local historians discuss the role of laywomen as medical practitioners on the western frontier. Rutland Free Library, 2 p.m. Free. Info, 773-1860. CHRISTMAS FESTIVAL: The village offers horse-drawn carriage rides, free holiday movies and a visit from Santa. Venues around Weston, noon 6 p.m. Free. Info, 824-3184. BREAD AND PUPPET THEATER: The troupe performs a new version of their Green Mass Nativity. Haybarn Theater, Goddard College, Plainfield, 7:30 p.m. $7. Info, 525-1271. TERMINAL ILLNESS SUPPORT GROUP: Caregivers of people who are terminally ill and others coping with death convene at the Vermont Respite House, 25 Prim Rd., Colchester, 9-10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 434-4159.

12 Sunday

music

• Also, see listings in "Sound Advice.

EXpress'i

TUESDAY SPECIAL:

NEW TEAR'S EYE We will beat anybody's prices!

'A CHRISTMAS STORY': See December 10, 2 p.m.

Free Membership Best Prices :

^ r o o THE * HOLIDAYS!

Free B u f f e t

film

• GAMES • POSTERS • AND MORE!

STREET, WINOOSKI 6 5 4 - 3 6 5 1

•

Weekly S p e c i a l s MiClcJ House Margaritas $3.00 Bud & Bud Lt Drafts 75C

Tuesdays

Corona Bottles and Dos Equis Pints $2.00 Bud & Bud Lt Drafts 75C Tacos or Nachos $1 (4-6pm)

Wedn.esd.avs

Taxis or 1800 Margaritas $5.00 Tacos or Nachos $1 (4-6pm) T h u r s d a y s

Sheds $2.50 Wings 20C (4-6pm) Bar Only!

Pticlays Green Bottles (Heiny, Rock, XX Sp Lager) $2.00 Apps 1/2 Price (4-6pm)

Saturdays Nada Bud & Bud L. Drafts 75C Tacos or Nachos $1 (4-10pm) 1 L a w s o n Lane, Behind C a r b u r s 862-6900

december 8, 1 9 9 9

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T H E YORK WAITS: In medieval garb, the English ensemble goes awassailing with mezzo-soprano Deborah Catterall. See "to do" list, this issue. Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 656-4455. Ira Allen Chapel, UVM, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $15. Info, 656-3085.

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DINNER M E N U

N.Y. Sirloin Topped with gorgonzola and roasted garlic

Salmon With a Citrus Herb Beurre Blanc

Shrimp Pasta Boxvtie pasta with fresh mozzarella, tomatoes and basil.

Seafood Newburg over Puff Pastry

MAIN STREET QUARTET: Get jazzed up for the holidays with seaSALOON MENU sonal favorites for shoppers at Barnes Cedar Island Flank Steak, Meatloaf Na(x>lean, Fish & Chips, &C Noble, S. Burlington, 4 p.m. Free. Hero Burger, Chicken Sandwich, Caesar Salad, Spinach Salad Info, 864-8001. VOCAL CONCERT: Angeline Open Year Round, Dinner 5 to 9, Sunday Brunch 9 to 1 Smith sings works by Mozart, Bach, nd • O N L Y 2 0 M I N U T E S F R O M B U R L I N G T O N ! • 8 0 2 - 3 7 2 - 6 9 1 1 Reservations Accepted / Catering Available / Holiday Parties Copland and Andrew Lloyd Webber. McCarthy Arts Center, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535.

South

Lobster, shrimp, and scallops

rVIPERHOUSE

RING IN THE NEW YEAR WITH

BARBERSHOP HOLIDAY CONCERT: Men and women from the Champlain Echoes, Barre-Tones and Green Mountain Chorus harmonize in a holiday spirit at S. Burlington High School, 2 p.m. Spaulding High School, Barre, 7 p.m. $7. Info, 879-3087.

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University singers join with other local vocal groups to celebrate diversity in a non-traditional Christmas concert. Free with a food donation. First Congregational Church, Burlington, 8 p.m. Info, 656-3040.

Project Home assists elders and adults with disabilites to live in dignity in their own homes by bringing them together with persons seeking affordable housing and/or caregiving opportunities.

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Currently, Project Home has a number of capable hourly caregivers available to provide service for individuals needing 20 hours a week or more.

VERMONT STAGE COMPANY: See December 11, Rochester High School Auditorium, 7 p.m. $6. Info, 656-4351. 'THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER': See December 10, Union Elementary School, Montpelier, 2 & 7 p.m.

Project Home, a program of the Cathedral Square Corporation, is a member of the United Way of Chittenden County. Project H o m e 187 St. Paul Street • Burlington, VT 05401 (802) 863-5625 • Fax: (802) 863-0274 e-mail: home@together.net

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'MY THREE ANGELS': See December 10, 6:30 p.m. 'A CHRISTMAS CAROL': 'Tis the season for Dickens' classic tale about holiday spirits and the hidden costs of not giving your staff a Christmas bonus. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 7 p.m. $18-29.50. Info, 863-5966. 'HAIKU': The Actor's Ensemble stages Kate Snodgrass' play about a mother who believes her autistic daughter is a poet. Lake Champlain Waldorf School, Shelburne, 7:30 p.m. $10. Info, 985-4023.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. STUDIO SALE: See December 10, 214 Battery St., Burlington, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m.

words

BOOK SIGNING: St. Albans resident Ann S. Levy signs her book, Acts of Living: A Cooking Journal for the Culinarily Challenged. Better Planet Books, St. Albans, noon - 2 p.m. Free. Info, 524-6835.

kids

STORYTIME: See December 1 1 , 1 p.m.

sport

DEMO DAYS: See December 11. MOUNT ABRAHAM HIKE: Dress warmly for a moderate six-mile trek up the Battell Trail with the Burlington section of the Green Mountain Club. Register, 893-1340.

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North Congregational Church, St. Johnsbury, 4 p.m. CHURCH STREET HOLIDAY CELEBRATION: See December 11. The York Waits sing in front of the Church Street Marketplace tree, 1-2 p.m. GIFT BOOK WORKSHOP: Learn to make decorative, personalized books from a variety of materials. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. SPIRITUALITY TALK: Suzanne Falter-Barns, author of How Much Joy Can You Stand?, talks about the connection between work and spirituality. Unity Church, 4070 Shelburne Rd., Shelburne, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 985-2664. DOG SLED DAY: Mushers and their mutts demonstrate the sport and display their equipment at the Montshire Museum, Norwich, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. $5.50. Info, 649-2200. HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE: The Victorian halls get decked out in holiday finery and planetarium shows highlight winter skies. Fairbanks Museum, St. Johnsbury, 1-4 p.m. Free. Info, 748-2372. 'HOLIDAY IN THE HILLS': Get into the seasonal spirit with caroling, hot cider, snacks, a tree lighting and a special appearance by Santa. Venues around Killington, 1-5 p.m. Free. Info, 773-4181. SEX AND LOVE ADDICTS ANONYMOUS: Can't get enough? This free 12-step program meets weekly at 7:30 p.m. Info, write to P.O. Box 5843, Burlington, V T 05402-5843.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 11TH 3:00PM AND 8:00PM

FLYNN THEATRE, BURLINGTON

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VOICE AND DICTION: Saturday, January 8, 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. Community College of Vermont, 119 Pearl St., Burlington. $50. Register, 8654422. Actors, speakers, teachers and performers improve their speaking skills.

aikido AIKIDO OF CHAMPLAIN VALLEY: Adults, Monday through Friday, 5:45-6:45 p.m. and 7-8:15 p.m., Saturdays, 911:45 a.m. Children, Tuesdays & Thursdays, 4-5 p.m. Aikido of Champlain Valley, 17 E. Allen St., Winooski. $55/month, $120/three months, intro specials. Info, 654-6999. Study this graceful, flowing martial art to develop flexibility, confidence and self-defense skills.

AIKIDO OF VERMONT: Ongoing classes Monday through Friday, 6-7 p.m. and 78 p.m., Saturday, 9-10:30 a.m., Sunday, 10-11:30 a.m. Above Onion River Co-op, 274 N. Winooski Ave., Burlington. Info, 862-9785. Practice the art of Aikido in a safe and supportive environment.

RICHMOND AIKIDO: Adults, Thursdays, 5:45-7:45 p.m. The Movement Workshop, 920 W. Main St., Richmond. Info, 434-5933. Study this healing art to discover peaceful alternatives for conflict resolution.

art 'HOLIDAY PRINTS': Saturday, December 11, 1-3 p.m. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, 135 Church St., Burlington. $10. Register, 8657166. Kids and parents use simple printing techniques to make a series of one-of-a-kind prints. DRAWING FROM A MODEL: Sunday, January 9, 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. Community College of Vermont, 119 Pearl St., Burlington. $60. Register, 865-4422. Artists of all abilities use pastels or charcoal to draw nudes and portraits. 'WATERCOLOR, BEYOND T E C H N I Q U E ' : Monday, January 10, 3-9 p.m. Community College of Vermont, 119 Pearl St., Burlington. $50. Register, 8654422. Learn an approach to watercolor painting that goes beyond the basics.

FIGURE DRAWING: Ongoing Mondays, 6-8:30 p.m. Fresco Studio, Union Station, 1 Main St., Burlington. $4-6. Info, 8624893. Artists of all abilities are welcome at this weekly drawing session.

beads HOLIDAY ORNAMENTS: Saturday, December 11, 3-4:30 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. $8. Info, 660-8060. Create your own beaded holiday ball ornaments.

birding W I N T E R BIRDING: Saturday, January 22, 9 a.m. - 3 p.m. Community College of Vermont, 119 Pearl St., Burlington. $50. Register, 865-4422. Discover the opportunities for birding in winter along the shores of Lake Champlain.

business 'POWERFUL POWERPOINT PRESENTATIONS': Monday, January 17 and Wednesday, January 19, 5:30-8 p.m. Community College of Vermont, 119 Pearl St., Burlington. $50. Register, 865-4422. Learn how to prepare a slide show to wow your viewers, using Windows software.

craft UKRAINIAN EGG ORNAMENTS: Saturday, December 18. Demonstrations, 1-3 p.m. Workshops, 1:15-3:15 p.m. Frog Hollow, Middlebury. $7. Info, 388-3177. Kathy Rouleau teaches this traditional dye-and-wax process for decorating eggs.

MASK-MAKING WITH CLAY: Two Thursdays, January 13 and 20, 5-8 p.m. Community College of Vermont, 119 Pearl St., Burlington. $55. Register, 8654422. Explore your creativity through mask-making with clay.

POTTERY/SCULPTURE: All

TURE: Friday, January 14, 9 a.m. - 3 p.m. Community College of Vermont, 119 Pearl St., Burlington. $50. Register, 865-4422. Create recycled art from your personal, professional and natural environment.

ages and abilities, group classes, private lessons. Day, evening and weekend offerings. Vermont Clay Studio, 2802 Rt. 100, Waterbury Center. Register, 224-1126 ext. 41. Enjoy the pleasures and challenges of working with clay, whether you've had a lot, a little or no experience. POTTERY: Ongoing classes for adults and children, beginners and intermediates. River St. Potters, 141 River St., Montpelier. Info, 224-7000. Take classes in working with a wheel or in hand building; 24hour access to the studio is available for a limited number of experienced potters.

WATER-SOLUBLE OILS:

PAINTING CERAMICS:

Saturday, January 15, 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. Community College of Vermont, 119 Pearl St., Burlington. $70. Register, 8654422. Work on compositional skills using a new medium.

Ongoing Wednesdays, 2-3:30 p.m. and 5:30-7 p.m. Blue Plate Ceramic Cafe, 119 College St., Burlington. Free. Info, 6520102. Learn the fundamentals of painting ceramics.

ENVIRONMENTAL SCULP-

dance LATIN, BALLROOM OR SWING: Ongoing classes. Locations in So. Burlington, Shelburne, Williston, Essex and Milton. Weekly dances, Fridays, 8-9:30 p.m. Jazzercise Fitness Center, 5 Countryside Ln., Williston. Info, 862-2207. Rumba, waltz or swing the night away with Samir Elabd.

internet 'THE WORLD AT YOUR FINGERTIPS': Saturday, January 8, 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. Community College of Vermont, 119 Pearl St., Burlington. $50. Register, 865-4422. Those with a basic understanding of Windows software explore the Internet.

kendo KENDO: Ongoing Wednesdays and Fridays, 6:45-8:30 p.m. Warren Town Hall. Donations. Info, 496-4669. Develop focus, control and power through this Japanese samurai sword-fencing martial art.

language SPANISH: Ongoing individual and small group lessons, all levels. S. Burlington. Info, 8646870. Join in on the fun of learning a new language. ITALIAN: Group and individual instruction, beginner through advanced, all ages. Middlebury area. Info, 5452676. Immerse yourself in Italian to get ready for a trip abroad, or to better enjoy the country's music, art and cuisine. ITALIAN: Ongoing individual and group classes, beginner to advanced, adults and children. Burlington. Info, 865-4795. Learn to speak this beautiful language from a native speaker and experienced teacher. ESL: Ongoing small group classes, beginners and intermediates. Vermont Adult Learning, Sloan Hall, Fort Ethan Allen, Colchester. Free. Info, 654-8677. Improve your listening, speaking, reading and writing skills in English as a second language.

massage MASSAGE FOR STRESS R E D U C T I O N : Friday, January, 7, 4-6 p.m. Community College of Vermont, 119 Pearl St., Burlington. $25. Register, 8654422 Learn head and neck massage techniques to promote relaxation.

SELF-MASSAGE FOR STRESS REDUCTION: Friday, January 7, 6:30-9 p.m. Com-munity College of Vermont, 119 Pearl St., Burlington. $25. Register, 8654422. This workshop teaches a simple routine for relaxation using self-massage.

meditation ZEN MEDITATION: Mondays, 4:45-5:45 p.m.,

Thursdays, 5:30-6:30 p.m. Burlington. Free. Info, 6586466. Meditate with a sitting group associated with the Zen Affiliate of Vermont.

'THE WAY OF THE SUFI': Tuesdays, 7:30-9 p.m. S. Burlington. Free. Info, 6582447. This Sufi-style meditation incorporates breath, sound and movement. MEDITATION: First & third Sundays, 10 a.m. - noon. Burlington Shambhala Center, 187 S. Winooski Ave. Free. Info, 658-6795. Instructors teach nonsectarian and Tibetan Buddhist meditations. MEDITATION: Thursdays, 78:30 p.m. Green Mountain Learning Center, 13 Dorset Lane, Suite 203, Williston. Free. Info, 872-3797. Don't just do something, sit there!

GUIDED MEDITATION: Sundays, 10:30 a.m. The Shelburne Athletic Club, Shelburne Commons. Free. Info, 985-2229. Practice guided meditation for relaxation and focus.

music READING MUSIC: Saturday, January 15, 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. Community College of Vermont, 119 Pearl St., Burlington. $53. Register, 8654422. Music makers learn about staffs, clefs, rhythm, melody and chords.

photography PHOTOGRAPHY: Private or group. Info, 372-3104. Take workshops in winter landscape photography, join a women's group or take classes in creative and technical camera and darkroom skills.

reiki REIKI JIN KEI D O : Saturday, December 11, Vt. Center for Integrative Medicine, Berlin. Info, 223-5435. This comprehensive energy healing method requires training in meditative awareness and energy transmission.

spirit 'MAGICAL SKILL BUILDING III, ENERGY WORK': Friday, December 10, 6:30-8 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. Donation. Info, 660-8060. Get a feel for "magical energy" and various ways to manipulate it.

support groups VT. RESOLVE INFERTILITY SUPPORT GROUP: Wednesday, January 5, 6-8 p.m. New England Federal Credit Union, Taft Corner, Williston. Info, 657-2542. Talk with others about infertility issues.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: Daily meetings in various locations. Free. Info, 6584221. Want to overcome a drinking problem ? Take the first step — of 12 — and join a group in your area.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: Ongoing daily groups. Various locations in Burlington, S. Burlington and Plattsburgh. Free. Info, 862-4516. If you're ready to stop using drugs, this group of recovering addicts can offer inspiration.

tai chi TAI C H I CHUAN: Ongoing Wednesdays, 7:15-9 p.m. Waterbury Tai Chi Club. Info, 434-5067. Practice Tai Chi in the Yang family tradition, for health and self-defense.

wine W I N E TASTING: Friday, December 10, 6:30-7:30 p.m. and Tuesday, December 14, 6:30-7:30 p.m. Wine Works, 133 St. Paul St., Burlington. Info, 951-WINE. Learn about Zinfandel on Friday; on Tuesday, get a taste for dessert wines.

writing 'IAMBIC PENTAMETER

religion

A N D FRIENDS':Two Wednesdays, January 5 and 12, 6-9 p.m. Community College of Vermont, 119 Pearl St., Burlington. $52. Register, 8654422. Get a brief introduction to traditional meter and rhyme found in blank verse and sonnets.

'THE BIBLE AND THE HEBREW GODDESS': Two

yoga

Tuesdays, January 11 and 18, 69 p.m. Community College of Vermont, 119 Pearl St., Burlington. $50. Register, 865-4422. Consider archaeological and textual evidence of the Canaanite Goddess.

self-defense BRAZILIAN JIU-JITSU: Ongoing classes for men, women and children, Monday through Saturday. Vermont Brazilian jiu-jitsu Academy, 4 Howard St., Burlington. Info, 660-4072 or 253-9730. Escape fear with an integrated self-defense system based on technique, not size, strength or speed.

december 8, 1 9 9 9

BEECHER HILL YOGA: Monday through Saturday, daytime & evening classes for all levels. Info, 482-3191. Get private or group instruction in integrative yoga therapy, vigorous yoga or yoga for pregnancy. YMCA YOGA: Ongoing classes. YMCA, College St., Burlington. Info, 862-9622. Take classes in various yoga styles. YOGA V E R M O N T : Daily classes, 12 p.m., 5:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. Saturday and Sunday, 9:30 a.m. Chace Mill, Burlington. Info, 660-9718. Astanga style "power"yoga classes offer sweaty fun for all leveb of experience. 0

SEVEN DAYS

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PICK-UP BASKETBALL: Men and women drop in to shoot hoops in a friendly game at Lyman C. Hunt Middle School, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. $2. Info, 864-0123.

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BURLINGTON WRITERS GROUP: Bring pencil, paper and the will to be inspired to this writerly gathering at the Daily Planet, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9647.

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12, Trinity Church, Rutland, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 775-5413. ACOUSTIC JAM: Unplug and unwind during an open mike evening of amateur entertainment. Neshobe Sportsman Club, E. Brandon, 6-10 p.m. Free. Info, 247-3275. AMATEUR MUSICIANS CONCERT: Vermont Symphony violinist David Gusakov leads the orchestra in a concert of works by classical and multicultural composers. Ira Allen Chapel, UVM, Burlington, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 985-9750.

give the gift of PHOTOGRAPHY

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he largest selection of fine artist materials at tremendous savings. Call us or stop by, it's worth the drive. 635-2203 or 800-887-2203. Located next to the Vermont Studio Center Pearl St, Johnson.

BATTERED WOMEN VOLUNTEERS: Volunteers attend an orientation session covering domestic violence education and opportunities with Women Helping Battered Women. UVM Women's Center, 34 South Williams St., Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 658-3131. AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL WRITE-IN: Save a life for the price of a stamp. Use pen power against human rights abuses at the Unitarian Church, Burlington, 5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-4838. TRAVEL LUNCHEON: The "Magic Carpet" takes diners on an informative and appetizing tour of Antarctica. Montshire Museum of Science, Norwich, 11 a.m. $12.

Info, 649-2200. LITE-N-LENS CAMERA CLUB: Select nature slides for an upcoming competition at 201 Delahanty Hall, Trinity College, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-6485. WORKER'S RIGHTS: Employees facing discrimination, unsafe working conditions, insurance problems and other labor issues get help from an advocate at the Worker's Rights Center, Burlington City Hall, 2:306:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7184. Y2K INFORMATION GROUP: Prepare for the next millennium with century-sawy types at the Horn of the Moon Cafe, Montpelier, 5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 223-5342. PUBLIC MEDITATION PERIOD: Take a step on the path to enlightenment in an environment that instructs beginners and supports practiced thinkers. Ratna Shri Tibetan Meditation Center, 12 Hillside Ave., Montpelier, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 223-5435. BATTERED WOMEN'S SUPPORT GROUPS: Women Helping Battered Women facilitates a group in Burlington, 6:30-8 p.m. Free. Info, 658-1996. Also, the Shelter Committee facilitates a meeting in Montpelier, 5:30-7 p.m. Free. Info, 223-0855.

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Special New Year s Eve menu. Bar menu also available. Please calif or details and reservations. | : I 5 Center Street • O f f the Marketplacejj Burlington,VT • 862-9647

FIRST NlSSf

imwm FRENCH CONVERSATION GROUP: Freshen up your French, with a Quebecois accent, in this informal social cercle at Borders, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. INTERNET WORKSHOP: Together Network volunteers give seniors a session on e-mailing photographs. Champlain Senior Center, Burlington, 10 a.m. - 1:30 p.m. Free. Info, 658-3585. TAX PRACTITIONERS ASSOCIATION: Federal and state tax officials answer end-of-the-year questions that relate to the upcoming tax season. Holiday Inn, Waterbury, 9:30 a.m. $20. Info, 434-3936. CAREGIVERS FOR T H E MENTALLY ILL: Friends, family members and anyone caring for the mentally ill get support at the Howard Center for Human Services, 300 Flynn Ave., Burlington, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 639-6480. OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS: Compulsive eaters weigh in on body image issues at the First Congregational Church, Essex Junction, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 644-8936. BATTERED WOMEN'S SUPPORT GROUP: Meet in Barre, 10:30 a.m. - noon. Free. Info, 223-0855.

described as "the ultimate blend of Henry Mancini and Andrew Lloyd Webber" performs instrumental and vocal hits. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $30-35. Info, 863-5966. OPEN MIKE NIGHT: Bring your own talent to a performance potluck at the Cambridge Coffeehouse, Smuggler's Notch Inn, Jeffersonville, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 644-2233.

drama 'OLIVER': Northern Stage Theatre presents the musical tale of streetwise urchins in Dickensian England. Briggs Opera House, White River Junction, 7 p.m. $20. Info, 296-7000.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: See December 8. OPEN PAINTING: See December 8.

words BESS AND DAVID HUDDLE: Burlington native Bess and her father, writer David Huddle, read poetry at the Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 8 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-3144.

kids

Wednesday music

• Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." JIM BRICKMAN: The songwriter

STORYTIME: See December 8. SONG AND STORYTIME: See December 8. T I N Y T O T ' STORYTIME: See December 8.

new snowshoes or borrow a pair on an informal tromp through the northern woods. Vermont Leadership Center, E. Charleston, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 723-4705.

etc RAPE CRISIS CENTER ORIENTATION: Work with survivors of sexual violence over the phone, in the advocacy program or by providing community education. This session meets in Burlington, 6-8 p.m. Info, 864-0555. DAM OWNERS ASSOCIATION: Local dam owners come together to form group to represent their interests in public policy making. Comfort Inn, Berlin, 1 p.m. Donations. Register, 229-4581. CFIDS ASSOCIATION MEETING: Sufferers of chronic fatigue syndrome and other immune dysfunctions listen to a lecture about energy healing and the body-mind connection. First Congregational Church, Essex Junction, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 800-296-1445. ® Calendar

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openings SCULPTURE EXHIBITION, works made from discarded materials manufactured in Vermont, by students and community members. Christine Price Gallery, Castleton State College, 434-5416. "Bardo," a site-specific performance, December 9, 7:30 p.m., and December 11, 6:30 p.m. TRUTH, BEAUTY & GOODNESS: ART AS A MORAL FORCE, an exhibit of two- and three-dimensional art by Waldorf School students from around the country. Lake Champlain Waldorf School, Shelburne, 985-2827. Reception and slide show with sculptor Patrick Stolfo December 10, 7 p.m. $5 donation. MIXED MEDIA: A Burlington College course show. UVM Women's Center, Burlington, 862-9616. Reception December 10, 5-6 p.m. THE PRINT PROJECT, works by nontraditional local printmakers. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington, 865-7165. Reception and sale, to benefit community printmaking studio, December 10, 5-9 p.m. (Members' preview 4-5 p.m.) A GIFT OF ART, works by Art Resource Association members in memory of James Gahagan. T.W. Wood Gallery, Montpelier, 828-8743. Reception December 10, 5-7 p.m. HOLIDAY CERAMIC SALE: Works by ceramic artists J. Kramer, E. Rossheim, S. West, J. Kleinman and G. Verplanck. 214 Battery St., Burlington, 658-1449. December 10, 2-7 p.m. December 11,10 a.m. - 4 p.m. OPEN STUDIO: Works by Alice Eckles and David Klein. Alice's Arts, E. Calais, 456-8993. December 11, 5-8 p.m. ANNUAL POTTERY SALE: Works by Claude Lehman. 214 Battery St., Burlington, 660-4792. December 10, 4-9 p.m., December 11-12, 10 a.m.4 p.m. OPEN STUDIO: Photographs, oils,

watercolors, drawings and cards by Lina Maria Testa. B8 Stonehedge Drive, S. Burlington, 865-4795. December 11,10 a.m. - 6 p.m. HOLIDAY POTTERY SALE: Functional and decorative porcelain by Jean Meinhardt. 202 Murray Drive, Richmond, 434-2409. December 11 & 12, 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. HOLIDAY MAGIC, wood carvings in dog themes, by Stephen Huneck. Dogs are welcome. Stephen Huneck Gallery, Woodstock, 457-3206. Reception December 11, 3-6 p.m.

ongoing BURLINGTON AREA SHADOWING TWILIGHT'S SHORE, photography by Katherine R. Davis. Speeder & Earl's Espresso Bar, Burlington, 425-4168. Through December 27. JEFF CLARKE, black-and-white landscape photographs. Daily Bread Bakery, Richmond, 863-4393. Through December. PLAY OF LIGHT, oils and pastel paintings by Joy Huckins-Noss. Isabel's on the Waterfront, Burlington, 229-0832. Through January January 3. VERNISSAGE 2 0 0 0 , paintings, photographs and mixed media by 42 artists. Doll-Anstadt Gallery, Burlington, 864-3661. Through December. PASSING OF THE TORCH, featuring oil paintings by Jennifer Bell and photographs by Michael Levy, the new cocurators. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 865-3144. Through December. SEARCHING THE FOREST FOR PORTRAITS, oil paintings and pastels by Sophie Quest. Daily Planet, Burlington, 658-1450. Through December. SARAH WESSON, oils and watercolors celebrating Vermont's natural beauty. Grannis Gallery, Burlington, 6602032. Through December.

AS THE CENTURY TURNS, a group end-of-year show by 15 artists. Furchgott Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 385-3848. Through January 11. MICHAEL M0NTANAR0, senior seminar exhibition in mixed media. McCarthy Arts Center, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 654-2000. Through December 10. THE PAINT TRAVELER, paintings from her book of the same name, by Carol Rosalinde Drury. Metropolitan Gallery, Burlington City Hall, 8657166. Through January 2. BLACK DRAGON ART, mixed-media canvases by Jade Bristol, and NATURAL CURVES, works in watercolor and found pigments by Kate Hartley. Also, SENIOR ART SPECTACULAR, works in a variety of media by local elders. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 8657211. Through December. EARL'S VIEW, handmade prints by Roy Newton. Red Onion Cafe, Burlington, 865-2563. Through January 25. BARNS AND BUILDINGS, photographs by Fred Stetson. Dorothy Ailing Memorial Library, Williston, 8784918. Through January 7. WELCOME TO MY HOME, featuring the art of children in Very Special Arts Vermont's "Home in Arts II" program. Red Square, Burlington, 658-6612. Through December 15. MARC AW0DEY, Poetry Machines and Other New Works, Living/Learning Gallery, UVM, Burlington, 656-4200. Through December 8. STRONG HEARTS: Native American Visions and Voices, featuring color and black-and-white photographs by 29 Native American photographers. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 6560750. Through December 19. CAROL NORTON, JOANNE DELANY & CELENE HARGRAVES, paintings. Better Bagel, Tafts Corners, Williston, 864-1557. Through January. THE MATING HABITS OF LINES: Sketchbooks and Notebooks of Ree

Morton, featuring drawings and journals detailing the artistic process, from an early pioneer in installation art who died in 1977. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. Through January 23. FOUR HONDURAN ARTISTS, featuring the work of Mario Castillo, Virgilio Guardiola, Rolando Lopez Trochez and Xenia Meji'a. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. Through February 13. DAVID GOODRICH, pen and ink drawings of Vermont views. The Book Rack, Winooski, 654-4650. Through December. RICK SUTTA, representational oil paintings. Rick Sutta Gallery, Burlington, 860-7506. Ongoing. GERRIT G0LLNER, abstract paintings and prints. Farrell Rm., St. Michael's College, Colchester, 654-2487. Through December.

and-white photos by Peter Miller. Mist Grill Gallery, Waterbury, 244-2233. Through January 3. PHOTOGRAPHS, black-and-white and color works by Sen. Patrick Leahy. Vermont Arts Council, Montpelier, 828-3778. Through January 3. LOCAL ARTISANS works by Vermont potters, sculptors and quiltmakers. Blinking Light Gallery, Plainfield, 454-1571. Ongoing. ABI SPRING, frescos. Vermont Supreme Court, Montpelier, 8283278. Through December 10. RELIGION, MYTH AND FANCY, a selection from the permanent collection. T.W. Wood Gallery, Montpelier, 8288743. Through December 24. ALICE ECKLES, a permanent changing exhibit of selected paintings and prints. The Old School House Common, Marshfield, 456-8993. Ongoing.

CHAMPLAIN VALLEY

SCRAP-BASED ARTS & CRAFTS, featuring re-constructed objects of all kinds by area artists. The Restore, Montpelier, 229-1930. Ongoing.

SUSAN SMEREKA, abstract iconographic paintings in gouache, oils and mixed media. Woody's Restaurant, Middlebury, 767-3253. Through December 29. TRADITIONAL ARTS SHOWCASE & SALE, featuring contemporary folk crafts and heritage foods. Vermont Folklife Center, Middlebury, 3884964. Through December 23. GINGERBREAD HOUSE DISPLAY, featuring culinary casas by professional and amateur bakers alike. Winners announced December 18. Vermont Folklife Center, Middlebury, 388-4964. Through December 18. VOLUME i, works on plastic and paper by Sean Sims. Also DENNIS SPARLING, sculptures. Ferrisburgh Artisans Guild, 877-3668. Through December 25. A GLIMPSE OF CHRISTMAS PAST, featuring 19th-century holiday decorations and festivities. Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 388-2117. Through December. USE IT UP, WEAR IT OUT, MAKE IT DO OR DO WITHOUT: Our Lives in the 1930s and '40s, featuring oral histories, photographs, artifacts and music exploring Addison County life in those decades. Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 388-2117. Through March 10. HORATIO GREEN0UGH: An American Sculptor's Drawings, a retrospective on the life of the early American artist (1805-1852), featuring 15 sculptures, 48 drawings and related materials, from the private collection of George R. Rinhart. Middlebury College Museum of Art, 443-5007. Through December 12.

CENTRAL VERMONT HEIDEMARIE HEISS HOLMES & ALEXANDRA B0TTINELLI, paintings. City Center, Montpelier, 223-5624. Through January 2. CRUZAND0 FRONTERAS/CLEARING CUSTOMS, text and artwork by central Vermonters from 18 countries. Sacred Space Gallery, Christ Church, Montpelier, 229-0432. Through January 1. COLOR AND LINE, prints and paintings of central Vermont by Phillip Robertson. Phoenix Rising, Montpelier, 229-0522. Through December. WINTER WHIMSY, fanciful works in clay by 20 regional artists. Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury Center, 2441126. Through January 14. VERMONT HAND CRAFTERS: Work by local artisans. Vermont By Design Gallery, Waterbury, 244-7566. Ongoing. PUBLIC FACES, PRIVATE PLACES: Photographs by Carly StevensMcLaughlin. Capitol Grounds, Montpelier, 223-7800. Through December. THE FIRST TIME I SAW PARIS, black-

BY M A R C AWODEY

ow that the Cold War is over, it seems that the City of Burlington no

longer needs a designated b o m b

shelter under Memorial Auditorium. Instead, by this time next year a p r i n t m a k i n g studio run by Burlington City Arts and a ceramic studio administered by Frog Hollow Craft Center are likely to be its new tenants. A n d for the second

TWO ARTISTS, landscapes by Karen Dawson and Jane Horner. Chow Bella, St. Albans, 524-1405. Through January 1. HOLIDAY ART SHOW AND SALE, works in all media by members of the Northern Vermont Artist Association. Old Red Mill Gallery, Jericho, 8993225. Through December 28. LANDSCAPES/TWO ARTISTS, featuring works by Karen Dawson and Jane Horner. Chow! Bella, St. Albans, 5241405. Through December. IRENE CHAN, works on paper by the visiting artist. Julian Scott Memorial Library, Johnson State College, 6351310. Through December 17. 19TH ANNUAL FESTIVAL OF THE CHRISTMAS TREES, the "Nutcracker Suite" in the main and west galleries. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 2538358. Through January 2. 19TH AND 20TH CENTURY AMERICAN ARTISTS, including landscape paintings by Vermont artists Kathleen Kolb, Thomas Curtin, Cynthia Price and more. Clarke Galleries, Stowe, 253-7116. Ongoing.

ELSEWHERE HOLIDAY SAMPLER, contemporary folk art — salvage sculptures, miniature rooms, prints, painted furniture and quilts — by a variety of artists. Also on exhibit: Amish and antique quilts. The Cupola House Gallery, Essex, N.Y., 518-963-7494. Through December 19. HITCHCOCK, a collection of stills, posters, set models and artwork that reveals the director's aesthetic influences. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, Jean-Noel Desmarais Pavilion, 514285-1600. Through March 18. MEXICAN MODERN ART, featuring works from the first half of the century. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, Jean-Noel Desmarais Pavilion, 514285-1600. Through February 6. FOR SALE, a public art installation created by the Swiss art alliance relax. Dartmouth College Green, Hanover, N.H., 603-646-2808. Through January 3. TRANSIENCE: Chinese Experimental Art at the End of the 20th Century, featuring works in mixed media by the country's younger generation of artists. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 603-6462426. Through December 19. PLEASE NOTE: Seven Days is unable to accommodate all of the displays in our readership area, thus these listings must be restricted to exhibits in truly public viewing places. Art in business offices, lobbies and private residences or studios, with occasional exceptions, will not be accepted.

year in a row, area artists are c o m i n g together to help raise funds to establish the print studio. Last year's "Print Project" generated about $ 1 0 , 0 0 0 to purchase the most i m p o r t a n t piece of e q u i p m e n t — the press. Proceeds of this years event will pay for essentials such as flat files, tables, inks and everything else needed to make the studio operational. T h e idea is simple: Gather the artists, create the works, sell the prints, raise the funds. Volunteering his services, master printmaker D o n H a n s o n brought the idea to a grateful City Arts last year, and pulled it

Printmaker Don Hanson and his helper, Lulu

off with such a p l o m b that this year he is receiving a small but

Brandt is one of those using an

well-deserved h o n o r a r i u m for his

unusual process. H e r minimalist

will offer f r a m e d pieces a n d

efforts. Hanson's unique vision is

images were begun by drawing

works by o n e of the priciest, albeit most accomplished,

c o m p o n e n t to the exhibit that

to bring together mostly n o n -

o n t o the plate a n d dispersing the

printmakers to make work.

graphite with W D - 4 0 ; folk

painters in o u r area — Val H i r d .

Some of the selected artists are

singer Katherine Q u i n n worked

A n a d d e d benefit to the "Print

not even primarily visual artists,

with a negative process by

which contributed to the air of

scratching ink f r o m her

experimentation that permeated

plate; architect J o h n

last year's show.

Anderson used materials

T h i s year's exhibit will follow suit. O p e n i n g this Friday, it will

in his contributions,

include collections by a singer-

including tar paper a n d

songwriter and a yoga practi-

blue chalk lines.

tioner as well as designers, an

f r o m the building trades

Painter Janet

architect, a photographer and

Fredericks engraved card-

some of Vermont's strongest

board to get some amazing

painters. Ten m o n o p r i n t s by

lines into her images, a n d «

each artist will be displayed, each

W a t e r b u r y artist Axel

an edition of one.

Stohlberg used lead flash-

T h o u g h there are m a n y kinds

ing in a similar way.

of printmaking, this one is direct

Photographer M a t t h e w

and fluid: Steel plates are inked,

T h o r s e n worked with

d a m p paper is applied and sim-

color Xerox transfers.

ply run through an etching press.

Catherine Hall applied

Artists can create their prints by

three-dimensional objects,

Monoprinting is as technically flexible as painting, yet as spontaneous as drawing or making art on a photocopy

transfers of other images, by lay-

including tiny eyes, to sev-

ering other papers o n t o the

eral of her works. As for the spe-

image before pulling a print, a n d

cific c o n t e n t of these images —

interesting a n d d y n a m i c snap-

reworking the final print with

just as a reviewer should n o t give

shot of the end-of-the-millenni-

drawing, collage or other assem-

away the e n d i n g of a play, suffice

u m visual arts scene in

blage elements. M o n o p r i n t i n g is

it to say that all these fascinating

Burlington.

as technically flexible as painting,

techniques have been p u t to very

yet as spontaneous as drawing or

good use.

making art on a photocopy

Project" is that it provides an

T h e "members only sale" for C i t y Arts patrons — as opposed

M o s t of the works will sell

to other Burlington taxpayers —

for $ 1 0 0 each, thus m a k i n g fair-

begins at 4 p . m . Friday, a n d the

printmaking, however, offers the

ly affordable art by some of

general public is invited at 5.

richness and intensity of ink on

Vermont's most creative individ-

Despite this m i n o r whiff of elit-

fine paper.

uals available to the public.

ism, it promises to be a good

T h e r e is also a silent auction

event for a good cause. ®

machine. N o t h i n g other than

Burlington artist Maea

"The Print Project '99," a group exhibit of prints by local artists. Firehouse Center for ; the Visual Arts, Burlington. Reception December 10, 5 p.m. Exhibit through January 9. |

december 8, 1999

SEVEN DAYS

page 41

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Here's some deep Hollywood thinking for you: Each year there's a box-office dip coinciding with the weekend which just passed. Ticket sales traditionally drop sharply from the previous Thanksgiving week. So what savvy strategy have the moguls and masterminds come up with in response? They don't release any new movies! Why, it's so crazy it just might work. I know nothing makes me feel like racing off to a theater like the certain knowledge there's nothing new to see. The sooner NASA gets these brainiacs on the trail of that missing Mars lander, the sooner all their problems will be solved. Anyway, what better time to have a look at that copy of The Logger actor Rusty Dewees sent over? The Stowe resident, a veteran of stage, screen and Corn Flakes commercials, has just wrapped up another statewide tour of his highly acclaimed one-man show and is hoping to give the gift of woodchuck wit and wisdom to a wider audience this season through the holiday miracle of videotape sales. My advice is to ask Santa for your copy fast, before the latest edition is sold out, too. I hadn't seen the live show and wasn't sure what to expect from the expanded, 90-minute taped presentation. Having seen the actor's work on television and in films, I was well aware that he was talented (his performance is one of M L B U I L

showtimes

W E D N E S D A Y .

D E C .

All shows daily unless otherwise indicated. * Indicates new film.

NICKELODEON CINEMAS

•••

4 J t t f

College Street, Burlington, 863-9515. The Green Mile* 12/10-16: 12, 3:45, 7:30. Anna and the King* 6:45 (Sat. only). Toy Story 2 11:30, 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30 (12/10-16: 9:20). Sleepy Hollow 11:50, 2:15, 4:45, 7:30, 10. 12/10-16: 11:50, 2:15, 4:45, 7:15, 9:50. The World Is Not Enough 12:15, 3:10, 6:45, 9:40. 12/10-16: 12:15, 3:10, 6:40, 9:30. Being John Malkovich 12:30, 6:30. The Insider 12/8-9: 11:40, 2:45, 6:20, 9:20. 12/10-16: 3, 9. American Beauty 12/8-9: 12, 2:30, 7:15, 9:50. 12/10-16: 11:40, 2:30, 6:50 (not Sat.), 9:40. Matinees Sat-Sun only.

CINEMA NINE

we'd cater to or we'd

2000 txeoUe! 2000people,!

THE LOGGER, Vol. 1****

"Nope." It's a performance so heartfelt and bursting with high spirits that it verges on the athletic. Dewees may well have the stage to himself, but he gives off the energy of 10 men — along with a number of women and animals. By the time he's through, the average viewer is sure to be almost as wrung-out as he is. This isn't comedy you process cerebrally and then smile . , about. This is good, old-fashioned, gut-busting fun. Footage shot on location opens and closes the tape, adding a further dimension to the stage show. At one point, Dewees portrays his own French-Canadian uncle taking a break at the lumber yard and scooping Fluff out of the jar with his fingers. In the final moments, he appears in the unexpected role of interviewer and archivist, preserver of what he calls "the essence of old-time Vermont." In a series of chats with friends and neighbors, he calls up memories of life in days gone by, then turns to the future and his concerns about snow-deprived winters and global warming. I can't remember the last time I came across this much homespun fun all rolled up in one 90-minute cassette. I've got a pretty good idea when the next time is likely to be, though: when The Logger, Vol. 2, comes to a theater, high school auditorium and VCR near you. ®

^ ^

Holiday Catering ^ from

LOGGING ON The first volume of Dewees' one-man show is now on video. Vol. 2 is on the way.

the best things in A Stranger in the Kingdom). What I didn't realize was that Dewees is a world-class writer and wit as well. The show's central character is a highly likable and devoutly rural fellow who expounds at riproaring comic length about everything from his best friend's one-legged dog to the trouble with flatlanders. In the course of the production, Dewees morphs through a succession of vividly drawn characters, his voice uncannily simulating the sputter of various motorized forms of transport and, of course, a chainsaw. Though dressed like a laborer, he has a physical presence much like that of a modern dancer, so kinetic and fluid are the movements with which he brings his self-contained cast to life. The show is hilarious from start to finish. Dewees makes use of a deceptively sophisticated mix of comic approaches. One minute he's a brawny backwoods Seinfeld letting loose with a series of flatlander bits as good as the best observational humor I've seen anywhere. I fully intend to steal from his "wind chill factor" routine at every opportunity. The next, he's a comic philosopher posing conundrums as subtly warped as any that ever emerged from the mind of Steven Wright. "If a tree falls in the Vergennes Opera House with 250 people watching, does it make a sound?" he asks, before using an imaginary ax to bring an imaginary maple crashing soundlessly to the ground.

Shelburne Road, S. Burlington, 864-5610. The Green Mile* 12/10-16: 11, 12:30, 3, 4:15, 7, 8, 10:40 (Fri.-Sat. only). Deuce Bigelow* 12/10-16: 10:10, 12:05, 2:05, 4:15, 7:15, 9:55. End of Days 12/8-9: 10:10, 12:50, 3:50, 6:50, 9:40. 12/10-16: 2, 4:30, 7, 9:40. Toy Story 2 10, 11:15, 12:30, 2, 3, 4:30, 5:30, 7, 7:45, 9:30 (Wed.-Thu. only), 10. Sleepy Hollow 12/8-9:10, 12:10, 2:30, 4:45, 7:10, 10. 12/10-16: 10, 12:10, 2:20, 4:45, 7:10, 10. The World Is Not Enough 10, 12:40, 3:40, 6:40, 9:50. Pokemon 12/8-9: 10:20, 11:25, 12:30, 1:50, 2:40, 4, 5. 12/10-16: 10, 12. Double Jeopardy 12/8-9: 10, 12:10, 2:15, 4:40, 7, 9:25. 12/10-16: 12:10, 2:15, 4:40, 7, 9:25. The Insider 12/8-9: 6:30, 9:40. 12/1016: 9:30. Matinees Sat.-Sun. only.

8 - THURSDAY. DEC -JLfi

ETHAN A L L E N C I N E M A S 4 North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040. Three to Tango 1, 3, 7:15. Blue Streak 5:15, 9:15. Stir of Echoes 9. Elmo in Grouchland 12:45, 2:30, 4:15, 7:30. Runaway Bride 12:30, 2:45, 7. Fight Club 12:15, 4, 6:45, 9:30. The Story of Us 5, 9:45. Matinees Sat-Sun only.

BIJOU CINEPLEX 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 Rt. 100, Morrisville, 888-3293. Deuce Bigelow* 12/10-16: 1:30, 3:40, 6:50, 9 (Fri.-Sat. only). End of Days 1278-9: 1:50, 4:10, 6:50, 9:10. 12/10-11: 9:20. Toy Story 2 12, 2, 4, 6:15, 8:15. Sleepy Hollow 12/8-9: 2, 4:15, 7:10, 9:30. 12/10-16: 2, 4:15, 7:10, 9:15. The World Is Not Enough 12/8-9: 1:40, 4, 7, 9:25. 12/10-16: 1:40, 4, 7. Matinees Sat-Sun only. Late shows Fri.-Sat. only.

THE SAVOY Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509. The Lovers On The Bridge 4 (Sat.-Sun. only).Happy, Texas 12/8-9: 6:30, 8:40. Guinevere 1:30 (Sat.-Sun.). 12/10-16: 6:30, 8:40. Schedules for the following theaters are not available at press time.

CAPITOL THEATRE 93 State Street, Montpelier, 229-0343.

P A R A M O U N T T H E A T R E 241 North Main Street, Barre, 479-9621. S T O W E C I N E M A Baggy Knees Shopping Center, Stowe, 253-4678.

SHOWCASE CINEMAS 5 Williston Road, S. Burlington, 863-4494. DeuQeBfefaW* 12/10-16:12:15, 2:30, 4:45, 7:15, 9:25. End of Days 12:30 (Wed.-Thu. only), 3:20, 7, 9:35. Sleepy Hollow 12:40, 3:40, 7:10, 9:40. The World Is Not Enough 12/8-9: 1, 3:50, 6:50, 9:30. 12/10-16: 1, 3:30, 6:50, 9:30.

w e e k l y l i s t i n g s on

Dogma 12/8-9: 12:50, 3:30, 6:40, 9:20. 12/10-16: 12:50, 6:40. The Bone Collector 12/8-9: 6:45, 9:25. 12/10-16: 3:25, 9:20. Pokemon 12/8-9: 12, 2:10, 4:20. 12/10-16: 12:30. Matinees SatSun only.

MAD RIVER FLICK Route 100, Waitsfield, 496-4200. M A R Q U I S T H E A T E R Main Street, Middlebury, 388-4841.

WELD EN THEATER 104 No. Main Street, St. Albans, 527-7888.

www.sevendaysvt.com

D i P t i u f H c FiLMQuIZ

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•

B Y RICK KISONAK

cosponsored by Video World Superstore

prewiews THE GREEN MILE Director Frank (The Shawshank Redemption) Darabont is back in jail again, this time for the story of a prison guard and the death row giant he believes to be innocent. Starring Tom Hanks, David Morse and Michael Clarke Duncan. (R) DEUCE BIGALOW: MALE GIGOLO SNL vet Rob Schneider stars here as a fish-tank cleaner who fills in for a vacationing hustler. Sound dumb enough to be an Adam Sandler movie? It is. Big Daddy is executive producer. (R)

shorts

rating

GUINEVERE From Audrey (The Truth About Cats and Dogs) Wells comes the comic saga of a young woman who leaves a life of privilege behind to live with a bohemian con man, who plays to her aspirations as an artist. Sarah Polley and Stephen Rea star. (R) ANNA AND THE KING I'm confused. Is there, like, infinite, insatiable demand out there for new movie versions of this story? This time around Chow Yun-Fat and Jodie Foster play the unyielding old-world monarch and the Western woman who whips him into shape. Andy Tennant directs. (PG-13)

sea le:

THE LOVERS ON THE BRIDGE*** Shot before The English Patient, this French romance stars Juliette Binoche as an artist who lives on a bridge and falls in love with a homeless fire-eater. Did I mention this is French? (PG-13) TOY STORY 2 * * * * Everybody's favorite living dolls reunite for an all-new animated adventure when Woody (Tom Hanks) is kidnapped by an unscrupulous toy collector and Buzz (Tim Allen) rallies the 'toon troops to rescue SLEEPY HOLLOW*** Tim Burton teams up with Johnny Depp again, this time for an update of Washington Irving's classic Headless Horseman saga. Christina Ricci and Christopher Walken co-star. (R) END OF DAYS** 1 ' 2 Arnold Schwarzenegger is back on the big screen for the first time since 1997. Saving one person at a time apparently is old hat at this point for the 52-year-old action star, so this time out he's saving the whole human race. From Satan, no less. Gabriel Byrne costars. Peter Hyams directs. (R) DOGMA**" 2 Clerks director Kevin Smith is stirring up the usual hysteria among the religious right with his new comedy. Ben Affleck and Matt Damon play angels who come to Earth and then try to scam their way back into heaven. Filmmaker Terrence McNally has already received his first death threat. (R) THE WORLD IS NOT E N O U G H * * * And, apparently, audiences can't get enough when it comes to these deals. Which always mystfies me. Pierce Brosnan presides over the 19th Bond film, in which the Menudo of undercover operatives faces off against an evil genius with designs on the planet's oil supply. With Robert Carlyle and Denise Richards. Michael Apted directs. (PG-13) THE BONE COLLECTOR** Australian director Phillip (Dead Calm) Noyce brings us this bleak

* —

new on video

title search

DEEP BLUE SEA** 1 2 Jaws meets Jurassic Park in the latest from director Renny Harlin, the saga of a mutant shark experiment that gets out of hand. With Samuel L. Jackson, Thomas Jane and LL Cool J. (R) INSPECTOR GADGET** 12 Matthew Broderick stars in Disney's liveaction adaptation of the popular cartoon series.

Welcome once again to the version of our game in which you get to catch up on your reading. While you're savoring the paragraphs below, keep an eye open for the titles of 17 motion pictures which we've woven into the literature...

***** NR = not reviewed

thriller about a suicidal quadriplegic ex-detective obsessed with a brutal serial killer. For everyone who thought The Sixth Sense was too upbeat. Denzel Washington and Angelina Jolie star. (R) BEING JOHN MALKOVICH**** Music video director Spike Jonze makes his big-screen debut with this odd-a-thon about a guy (John Cusack) who discovers a portal that transports him into the brain of the actor John Malkovich. With Cameron Diaz, surCatherine Keener and prise! — John Malkovich. (R) DOUBLE JEOPARDY**" 2 Ashley Judd and Tommy Lee Jones are teamed for the saga of a woman who's wrongly imprisoned for murdering her husband, and rightly miffed when she learns he's actually alive and living with another woman. When she gets out, she figures that, as long as she can't be tried for the same crime twice, she might as well commit it once. So she packs some heat and pays him a visit.

(R) POKEMON*** Kiss your kids goodbye. You're not likely to see much of them now that the most popular TV show/marketing gimmick in the universe has hit the big screen. At least not until it makes it to home video. (G) THE I N S I D E R * * * * A1 Pacino and Russell Crowe star in Michael Mann's fact-based account of compromises that took place behind the scenes at "60 Minutes" when the legendary news magazine was pressured to kill a whistle-blowing tobacco industry piece. Christopher Plummer plays Mike Wallace, who probably won't be lining up for a ticket to this any time soon. (R) AMERICAN B E A U T Y * * * * " 2 Kevin Spacey and Annette Bening play the heads of a nuclear family in the process of meltdown in the feature debut from from whitehot Broadway director Sam (The Blue Room) Mendes. (R) ELMO IN GROUCHLAND*** The fuzzy red one makes his big-

screen debut alongside the more experienced Mandy Patinkin, who co-stars as a mean junkyard owner who tosses a beloved blankie into Oscar the Grouch's trash can. (G) THE FIGHT CLUB*** Brad Pitt and Edward Norton are teamed in the dark new film from Seven director David Fincher. Based on the best-selling novel by Chuck Palahniuk, the picture concerns an underground organization in which men meet to beat the postmodern numbness out of each other. (R) THE STORY o r U S * * * Bruce Willis and Michelle PfeifFer are paired for this romantic comedy about a couple which attempts a trial separation after 15 years of marriage. Rob Reiner directs. Rita Wilson and Paul Reiser co-star,

"Go!" I shouted, "This is my father. I'll deal with him once and for all — you get the police!" I wished I was anywhere but here on the 13 th floor of an old abandoned sanatorium just outside Providence. My stepmom had had the old man committed when I was just a kid, and I guess he held a grudge about that, because she's all that I can see now — parts of her scattered across the floor, on furniture thick with dust and dangling from light fixtures. I knew it was him even though he wore the black mask he bought me the first Halloween I went trick-or-treating. My instinct was to shoot, but somehow I couldn't pull the trigger. "Hey there! Hi there! H o there! You're as welcome as can be!" he laughed, turning toward me. "M-I-C — See ya real soon! — K-E-Y...," he rasped through the plastic, and then charged. A shot rang out and he collapsed in front of me, his heavy metal weapon slamming to the wooden floor. "Why, Dad, why?" I asked, kneeling beside him. With his last breath he whispered, "Why? Because we like you. M-O-U-S-E."

For more film fun don't forget to watch "Art Patrol" every Thursday, Friday, and Sunday on News Channel 5!

LAST WEEK'S WINNERS LAST WEEK'S ANSWERS: JOHN KORDS ROBERT GREEN NANCY PAYNE SARAH HOLMAN KATHY POWERS JOHN MORTON

(R) RUNAWAY BRIDE**" 2 Hey, didn't she just settle down with Hugh Grant? I guess there's no such thing as happily ever after when you sell tickets the way Julia Roberts does. This time around she plays an altar-phobic chick whose last-minute chapel exits attract the attention of newspaper columnist Richard Gere. From the director of Pretty Woman (PG) STIR OF ECHOES***" 2 Writerdirector David Koepp brings us this adaptation of the 1958 Richard Matheson book about an ordinary guy who begins experiencing some very extraordinary things after being hypnotized. Kevin Bacon and Illeana Douglas star. (R) BLUE STREAK** Martin Lawrence has been impersonating a comedian for years, if you ask me. Now he pretends to be a cop •'•; in this buddy film about a thief who attempts to recover a priceless gem buried beneath a police station. With Luke Wilson. (PG13) THREE TO T A N 6 0 * * * Dylan McDermott and Matthew Perry vie for the affections of Neve Campbell in this comedy about mistaken sexual identies. (PG-13)

"Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me?" he bellowed as he came at Dick with the Jaws of Life out ahead of him opening and closing like some bloodcrazed cast-iron cobra while he insanely sang the theme song from "The Mickey Mouse Club."

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on a Saturday afternoon. As it happens, the white stuff comes first, and I gamely try both. I don't know why I dislike the taste of white wine, I just do, and it gives me an instant T kr< headache — a reaction most people more commonly have with reds. I figure I might meet a white I like eventually, or at least learn the difference between, say, a chablis and a chardonnay. But chances are, the one that wins me over will be a hundred dollars a bottle — all the more reason to stick to my humblepriced merlots. The second white today is an Alsace Hugel Gentil. Ick. Spit. Better luck with the first of four reds. The Echelon Merlot, from the central coast of California, has a bit of that smoky flavor I don't like, but has a pleasing smoothness that manages to be tart and soft at the same time. Returning to it later, I find it's improved after "breathing." Swallow. Buchanan, a former lawyer who clearly delights in her newfound weekend job, reveals the Echelon has been the hands-down favorite today. Shahady confirms it's a "real crowd pleaser" in general — a good wine to take to a party. Next up is Buckleys — named after a well-known Australian character considered to be "the original hippie." A blend of cabernet and merlot, this one is a little more syrupy,

The tall. cle glass cylinder call it a wine,

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tanding behind a neat row of six bottles of wine — two white, four red — Susan Buchanan smiles and waits expectantly for me to take my first sip. "What do you think?" she asks, then laughs as I grimace and spit out a small mouthful of Xenius, a Spanish sparkling . wine, into a nearby vase. "It confirms that I don't like white wine," I tell her. "Especially bubbly." The woman behind me loves the stuff, however, and immediately orders several bottles for New Year's Eve. "To each his, or her, own" could be the motto here at Wine Works, where customers are encouraged to become not wine snobs — as I facetiously set out to achieve last Saturday — but simply more knowledgeable about their own tastes. Along the way, of course, you might pick up a thing or two about the venerable fruits of the vine, which, as mountains of books, glossy magazines and devoted oenophiles will happily tell you, come in a dizzying number of varieties. But Wine Works proprietors Bill Shahady and Brent Sloan, along with "bartender" Buchanan, are eager to demystify the seemingly overwhelming arcana of wine, sip by sip. And there is no better teacher than experience. That's why Wine Works has offered twice-weekly evening classes and weekend tastings in

their downstairs classroom since the stores opening in October on St. Paul Street in Burlington. The first thing you learn is that at a wine tasting, here or anywhere, it's not impolite to spit — even if you like the stuff swirling around in your mouth. After all, even at tiny 50-cent samples — state law requires the store charge some-

of presampled, vino when I arrive for my esson on a

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purchase of any ski,snowboard, or ski boot. $50 Value! 2 0 % O F F • All Nordica Mens 8c Ladies Parkas! 10% what Sloan might compare to chocolate milk — as opposed to whole or skim, his way of talking about a wine's density. I think I could get used to the Buckley's, and I like the chatty explanation on its handsome label. Swallow. The Rosenblum Cellars Zinfandel, a vintners cuvee, or blended wine, from California, goes over the edge for me — too syrupy and sweet. Might as well drink a port. Spit. As it happens, the best — my best — comes last. Coincidental^ or not, it's also the oldest of this sextet: a '96 Chateau de Perron Madiran. I've never heard of Madiran before, and am pleased to learn something new that I actually want to remember. From the southwest of France near Bordeaux, this red is fruity and full of tannins. It's made with the tannet grape, Shahady informs. He and Buchanan think its aftertaste is like blue cheese. I don't quite get that, but this one earns a couple of swallows, and an asterisk in my notebook. The six bottles presented at Wine Works today are in the $ 10 to $13 range, not a huge step up from the $7 to $9 I typically go for. In fact, a new favorite is a $7.50 Leverano "Negroamaro" — I'm partial to Italians at the moment — I'd purchased upstairs the week before. You can, of course, go sky-high with prices on the bottles offered here, or in any wine store. But at least you know what you're getting into: At Wine Works, the wares are nestled in industrial wire racks that are well lit and labeled with price, country of origin and brief descriptions of the wine's flavor. They're democratically

arranged, with less expensive wines side-by-side with far costlier ones — reflecting the store's philosophy, perhaps, that price is a less important guide than personal taste. (Or maybe it's the only way they can get people like me to even look at something above $12 a bottle.) Reference books are available, as are piles of magazines such as Wine Spectator, The Wine Enthusiast and Decanter, these parked in front of a T V that is always tuned to the Food Network. The bright, roomy store is user-friendly, and so is the help, if you want it. Shahady and Sloan, both 28, are graduates of New England Culinary Institute — they met at the school and were two of the first class of students in the B.A. program in food and beverage management. Shahady is from Chapel Hill, North Carolina; Sloan grew up all over the world, mostly in Asia, but most of his family now calls Houston home. Both have learned the restaurant business from kitchen to cash register — and learned they don't want to run one. "It's still 100 hours a week, but it's not the same as a restaurant," says Shahady, referring to launching a new retail business. "We hate perishable things," chimes in Sloan. Some of those long hours are still in the classroom, however; both owners teach at NECI Commons on Church Street and The Inn at Essex. Shahady han- > dies financial analysis, Sloan taste and flavor — "all about food, wines, what goes with what," describes his partner. Sloan was

Continued on page 46

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also the wine director at N E C I and, though Shahady's knowledge is significant, it's Sloan who steps in-with the detailed explanations. But I suspect it wasn't N E C I that taught him to compare wines to rock 'n' roll, jazz or easy listening, nor to make statements such as "Wine is like the Force in Star Wars— it can be used for good or evil." T h e stores intern, Matt Imse, is a N E C I guy, too, getting a handson education in wine, of course, as well as retail service. An extensive background in food and wine, coupled with a laid-back, unpretentious attitude, is what sets W i n e Works apart from many a big-city wine shop — and what makes browsing there simultaneously more fun and less haphazard than, say, grabbing a bottle off the shelf at the supermarket. But the fact that you can buy wine just about anywhere — including at wellestablished venues like Burlington's Cheese Outlet-Fresh Market, Cheese Traders or the Net Result — makes you question how a store selling only wine can survive in a relatively small city like Burlington. After all, Romancing the Vine, the last place to try, died on it. Shahady and Sloan are banking on customer service, and the growing sophistication of wine drinkers. "We think people are more adventurous [about wine]," offers Shahady, "and there's no one to help you in a grocery store. We try to take people on an adventure." Indeed, he and Sloan frequently refer to wine as the taste of a region, as if imbibing alone is like c o m m u n i n g with the people, the very earth, of France, Italy, the Napa Valley. "Wine consumption [in the U.S.] is stable," Shahady continues, "but people are spending more on a bottle. They're getting into 'boutique-y' wines and away from the 'name brands.'" So is it out with Gallo and in with, say, Salice Salentino? Not necessarily; American consumers in general like consistency of flavor, points out Sloan, and large producers such as Gallo blend grapes and vintages to create the same taste year after year. W i n e from a small vineyard, on the other hand, may vary somewhat from year to year, or from one slope to another, depending on weather conditions and other factors. That's why oenophiles can wax over minutiae of "good years" and "bad years" that will leave the wine spritzer crowd scratching their heads. Using proliferation of choices as a measure of sophistication, I'd have to say wine consciousness is up in Burlington, because another outlet du vin has appeared just a block from W i n e Works on St. Paul. A darkly contemporary reincarnation of Iron Works restaurant opened three weeks ago, and already rivals the reservation-recommended status

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of its former location in Lawson Lane. The restaurant, this time, comes with a retail wine store attached. It is a very different experience from its friendly competitor down the street. Darker, for one thing, like a cross between a wine cellar and an upscale lawyers office. Murky colors and small pools of track lighting seem to cloak the mysteries of the grapes. The visual effect is appealing, unsullied by the usual signs of commerce, but it's daunting to the novice. Bottles are lined up tightly in narrow shelves, so that you must pull the entire thing out to read the label. No signage here to point the way; customers must search for the perfect bottle as if it were an obscure book in the library stacks. While I can imagine the pursuit being thoroughly enjoyable — and young salesclerk Sarafina Wiezalis says she has "a passion for helping people make the right choice" — I also imagine it helps to know what you're looking for before you get there. Or find something you like with dinner in the restaurant, then grab a bottle to take home later. Which brings me back to education, and the down-home approach Shahady and Sloan take to it. Try as I might to pick up some "snob" terms, this duo would rather tell me what fun it is to "blind-taste" wines and try to describe them. "I love a wine that smells like Fruit Loops," says Sloan. "I always recognize it." For his part, Shahady characterizes a recent olfactory encounter with a syrah like "wet pavement." "It's just so hard for me to tell people there is £ language to wine," Shahady adds. "You make you own terms." "Like, is it a GE Soft Light or a laser beam?" Sloan offers. I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it has a big nose. ®

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ontreal boasts some of the finest dining establishments in the world. True or not, few will disagree that the sheer variety of restaurants here is enough to make the average diners head spin. O f course, as in most cities, that choice becomes somewhat limited as the hour grows later and the city's most talented gourmet chefs turn in. I mean, lets get serious for a moment: at 4 a.m. you can't just trust a potato latke from anywhere! You've got to know where you're going and what kind of lowlifes you're going to run into once you get there. After all, these are the places where all the people who didn't score go to eat and bitch and try to relieve some of their frustrations by making a lot of noise, playing with their food

Grazing for grub in late-night Montreal

and being rude to the waitresses. Sure, baby, I've been there. With this in mind, I felt it might be helpful to offer a rundown of some of Montreal's more popular late-night eating spots. Some of them serve better food than others, but they all share the same "nighthawk" clientele.

The Main 3864 St-Laurent, 843-8126 (Open daily except 5:30 -10 a.m.) It's not as famous as Schwartz's deli directly across the street, but The Main serves up Montreal smoked meat that is every bit as good. Better yet, the prices are cheaper and the service every bit as surly. A Montreal original, The Main cooks up a nasty, 16-ounce garlic steak at 4:30 in the morning that is sure to impress your date. The place is also famous for its blintzes and

potato latkes. Atmosphere alone makes The Main worth at least one visit: The bleached white lights bestow an unhealthy glow on already darkring-eyed waiters and pasty-faced patrons. It feels like New York, sometime in the '40s. People look as if they've just lost a bundle gambling and are afraid to go home. I used to see Leonard Cohen here a lot, talking very loudly and seeming to make sure everyone was aware of his presence. Everybody was. To be honest, I haven't seen him around much lately. I can't be 100 percent sure, but it might have something to do with the fact that he doesn't really live here anymore — although he still keeps a house around the corner.

Ben's 990 de Maisonneuve W, 844-1000 (Open daily except 3-7:30 a.m.

Sun.-Wed. and 4-7:30 a.m. Thur.Sat.) More smoked meat and deli fare. This is where the all-night crowd of yesteryear used to wait for the racing results, as published in the morning papers. Rumor has it that back in the '60s, Liz Taylor used to have Ben's smoked meat flown all the way out to Los Angeles — it was that good. Enjoy the hundreds of autographed celebrity photos that adorn the walls. Everybody from Charlton Heston to 1980s pop superstars Doctor & the Medics are represented. Picture the Woolworth's cafeteria but, instead of tight-permed waitresses, sallow-faced, despondent waiters. Are you seeing a trend here? Warning to the facially challenged: The lighting is exceptionally unflattering here.

Euro Deli 3619 St-Laurent, 843-7853; 1206 Peel, 878-3354 (Open until 4 a.m. Thur.-Sat., 2 a.m. Sun-Wed. Until midnight seven days a week at Peel location) The Euro Deli used to be priced so cheaply that it became the restaurant of choice among the more discerning squeegee punk crowd. Celebrated for serving up good Italian-style eats to make a hipster proud, recent renovations mean new inflated prices, but it's still one of the best deals on St-Laurent. It's always served an eclectic clientele, but

these days the squeegee kids have been replaced by swarms of wellgroomed suburban babes sporting expensive haircuts and Kangol courier bags. Lucky celebrity-gazers regularly report sightings of Ivan of Men Without Hats fame, chomping down on Euro Deli meatballs at all hours of the day or night.

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523-4679

Located in the heart of the gay village, Club Sandwich seems to be packed from 8 p.m. till 8 a.m. every goddamned night of the week. Service is rotten, and I know more than a couple of people who claim to have gotten food poisoning there (I'm sure it couldn't have had anything to do with their evenings of substanceinspired debauchery). I've also been told that the cherry pie tastes an awful lot like fruit-flavored petroleum jelly. Still, I know plenty of folks who swear by the joint and claim that the poutine is without equal anywhere else in the city. Wow! The decor, on the other hand, is the standard '50s retro that is so popular in Quebec. A good place to get lucky, if you're still looking at 7 a.m.

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A west-end institution that serves up enormous portions of Denny's-style food at pretty reasonable prices, late-night Picasso's caters to a well-rounded clientele of club-goers, truck drivers, allnight factory workers, victorious bowlers and chatty prostitutes who work from some of the several nearby low-rent motels. M y m o m and dad go there as well — as do lots of moms and dads — but not usually at 4 or 5 a.m. ®

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page 4 9

>M >

Ashes

"Ashes

for a Brattleboro crematorium operator, two things in life are certain: death and dignity

Tom Robinson BY FLIP BROWN

'd never spent much time around a dead body before.

My previous experience had consisted of a few opencasket funerals — where you peer in at someone with loads of makeup on — and an accident scene where I knew the form under the blanket was a corpse. But when we walked into my mother-in-law's hospital room one morning last June, her blue eyes were staring out the window without any sign of light or life. "She just stopped breathing a few minutes ago," someone said softly. The full impact was deep and instantaneous. We were looking at the shell. Her spirit was gone. Nancy Jane Montgomery Post was 68 years old and was in her first full year of retirement from her own business. She had kept the news of her inoperable cancer from us so as not to spoil our wedding, which had taken place less than a month before in the garden that was her pride and joy. After the first half-hour of sitting there in what was for us the peaceful presence of death, we knew it was time to start taking care of some details. That's when we called Tom Robinson. He showed up about an hour later, clad not in the typical undertaker's dark suit, but a pair of clean blue jeans and a short-sleeved sport shirt. His eyes were calm, his manner reassuring. As the sole proprietor of the Eternal Flame Crematorium in Brattleboro, Robinson had attracted Nancy's attention in a newspaper article, and she had instructed us that she wanted him to "get the business." As we sat by Nancy's bed, Robinson gently discussed the details. He would obtain the necessary paperwork, take the body from the hospital, cremate her remains, and deliver the ashes four days later on the day of the memorial service. There were papers to sign and a check to write. He answered all our questions, but what was most impressive was his attitude. Robinson spoke to us about his belief that our love and caring meant the most in the process of honoring Nancy and her passage into death. It was time to say good-bye, and we touched Nancy's now-cool body for the last time. As we pulled away from the small hospital in southern Vermont, we saw Robinsons white mini-van at the service door. Somehow, the fact that her body was being transported in something so ordinary was reassuring. Nancy had hated pretentiousness. Tom Robinson had made a remarkable impression on us: His service was unique, his "customer service" skills impeccable. I couldn't stop wondering how he got into the business, and what that business — grim to most of us — is really like. Robinson was born and raised in Springfield, the old machine-tool capital of Vermont. As an employee of the town several years ago, he found that working in the municipal cemetery felt natural to him, comfortable. It's also "where I saw that people paid a lot of money for

funerals," he says. "I buried a lot of money in the ground." After a year and a half, he and his boss started a business on the side, traveling around to other cemeteries to clean and repair old gravestones. In November 1995, Robinson was looking through a funeral industry trade paper when he saw an ad for a crematorium equipment manufacturing company in Apopka, Florida. He had already planned a trip to see his parents, who were wintering in the Sunshine State that year, so he called the company to see if he could stop by. Robinson had an idea about offering families a lower-cost alternative to the standard expensive funeral. "The snowball started rolling," he recalls. Little more than a year later, in January 1997, Eternal Flame Crematorium was open. Robinson had obtained a series of permits, including one for town zoning and an air-quality permit from the Natural Resources Department. Backed by loans, and some mentors who had helped the 23-year-old with his business plan, he was ready. At first Robinson thought he would work with the funeral home industry, but he saw no reason not to also deal directly with consumers. But he soon learned that idea proved threatening to funeral home directors, and they

nir | 'Most people wH ather leave their famil ith something better than, 'Honey, we just ad to come UD with 7500 to burv Gram.'" Tom Robinson wner, Eternal Flame t rematorium

page 5 0

SEVEN DAYS t^MA-

december 8 , 1 9 9 9

began to boycott him. The ensuing "negative" publicity, • however, actually helped Robinson get the word out about Eternal Flame. Currently, close to 90 percent of his business is dealing directly with families; the remainder is with funeral homes. Robinson's timing was good. The number of cremations in Vermont grew from 1063 in 1988 to 4932 in 1998, according to the Vermont Department of Health. The state's rate of cremation was 38.9 percent of all deaths in 1998, compared to a national rate of 24 percent.

Robinson has performed 439 cremations since he opened, with the numbers increasing steadily — around 225 this year. Vermont has also been in the forefront of consumers' rights in caring for their dead, thanks primarily to Lisa Carlson. A Hinesburg resident and the executive director of the Funeral and Memorial Societies of America (FAMSA), Carlson is the author of the 640-page Caring for the Dead: Your Final Act of Love. The 1998 book is described, on the FAMSA Web site as "A comprehensive tome on funeral law for the consumer; state-by-state — discusses how well, or not, prepaid funeral money is protected, ethical standards, and serves as a manual for families who wish to handle a death without the use of an undertaker." The book also lists crematories, medical schools and the requirements for body donation. According to Carol Pritchard, owner and director of Boucher & Pritchard Funeral Home in Burlington, the average full-service funeral costs between $5000 and $6500. A simple cremation runs $1100. "Funeral directors get a lot of bad rap, but we're on call 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, and [are] ready to be there usually within a half-hour," she says. "It's a real tough job. Our only goal is to help people through a difficult time." Robinson charges $550 for the service of picking up the body, performing the cremation and returning the ashes — technically, the "cremains" — anywhere in the state of Vermont. "If it was about the money, my prices would be different," he states. The only variable is whether the family would like something other than the standard granite urn. Robinson feels strongly about the price issue. "Most people would rather leave their family with something better than, 'Honey, we just had to come up with $7500 to bury Gram,' and maybe put a second mortgage on their home. I don't think that's fair," he says. By offering only cremation services, Robinson does not have the overhead of a funeral home, which may offer a site for services, if needed, and the inventory of caskets, embalming supplies, mortician's wax, makeup, etc.

ternal Flame's cremation retort — the name for "a chamber in which substances are decomposed by heat" — in Brattleboro is a 30,000-pound machine, operating at 1600 degrees. Depending on the size of the body, it takes two to three-and-a-half hours to reduce a body to ashes, followed by a cool-down and processing time. It is important to "process" the remains, or the family may be in for a rude shock. Twenty years ago I lived in a state where it was technically illegal to spread ashes, and the family was supposed to either bury the cremains or inter them in a mausoleum. One of my best friends had died, and his wife convinced the funeral home director to give her half of the ashes. I'll never forget opening the gold-colored coffee-type can on their kitchen counter. Much to the horror of the widow, the "ashes" were primarily large pieces of bone. Currently, there are seven crematories in Vermont, and all except Eternal Flame and Mt. Pleasant Cemetery and

Crematory in St. Johnsbury deal only with funeral home business. A new crematory has been proposed by funeral director Steve Arnold for Charlotte, but so far he has indicated he will only service the funeral home industry. Not surprisingly, the project has generated some controversy among neighbors of the proposed site. In Vermont, anyone can transport a body, as long as they have a death certificate signed by a doctor. The certificate has to be taken to the town office where the death occurred, and a burial transit permit obtained, which allows the holder to remove the body. Then a state permit to cremate is issued from the state medical examiner's office. New Hampshire requires a 48-hour waiting period to cremate, but Vermont does not. Robinson describes what he does as "taking care of a cremation, removal of the body, and the civil paperwork," he says. "I'm helping people take care of their own, without having to do some of the harsh things that some people physically or mentally can't take." Robinson says he has "been given a gift. I didn't know this as a young man — I found this out working in the cemetery." Perhaps because of his "gift," Robinson provides more than just an economic or mechanical alternative to a funeral home. His approach to the topic of death alone sets him apart. "I've always known that within this life there is death — Shakespeare said it — 'We're all born to die,'" Robinson says. Being around dead bodies — abhorrent to most people — doesn't seem to faze him. "All I am here to do is help these people to take the last few steps with the utmost dignity and respect, which cannot be bought. "It's gratifying to help people through what is probably one of the most traumatic times in anybody's life — to lose a loved one, whether the person is old or expected to die, or anything," Robinson continues. "No matter how much you know what's going to happen, all your emotions just pour out. People take me in, they hug me, they show me what they feel."

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Since death does not observe a Monday-to-Friday, 9-to-5 schedule, Robinson has not had a vacation since his last trip to Florida in 1995. "I've devoted myself to this — this is the path that I've been given. To describe the energy that I feel, for me it's like the saying, 'The more love you take the more you make.'" It's a career clarity — and mortal certainty — not many 27year-olds have. True to his word, Robinson delivered Nancy's ashes to her home after the memorial service. He brought us more than just a box of remains. He also made us think deeply about this society's relationship to death, which, like many others things — food] money, sex — seems out of whack. Robinson helped me see that, even in death, we have choices. ®

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• 18 years experience • Flea & Tick removal • Nail Trimming • Hard to handle dogs welcome • All breeds Call for appointment!

1 coupon per visit e m Dec 311999

GREENFIELDS MERCANTILE

PIG EARS 6 9 < 1 2 / $ 6 . 2 5 A Q U A R I U M START-UP KIT $ 1 7 . 9 9 HAMSTER START-UP KIT $ 2 4 . 9 9

. F i n e Casual C l o t h e & Gifts FOR MEN St WOMEN

o m A m c COFFEE & t e a h o u s e

Open Eves tilt (> (8 on Fri/SaO • Main Street • Mtddiebury « 388.8221

december 8, 1 9 9 9

SEVEN DAYS

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Inside Track

MJKK

c o n t i n u e d from page 5

* S * T M U I I

MANDARIN, SZECHUAN & HUNAN CHINESE

• Private Parties up to 100 people •Gift Certificates available • We cook without MSG! We use Vegetable Oil

Vermont's Finest Chinese Restaurant

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1993-1999

Hunan Style Curry — Hot Platter ivith choice of I Pork, Chicken, Beef, Shrimp, Lamb or Tofu

79 W. Canal St., Winooski 655-7474 / 655-7475 For Delivery call 865-3663

If it's got anything to do with wrapping gifts including paper, bows, ribhons, boxes, tins and cards we've got it.

Mon.-Thurs. l l : 3 0 - 9 : 3 0 p m ; F r i . & S a t . l l : 3 0 - 1 0 : 3 0 p m ; S u n . & H o l i d a y s 1 2 - 9 : 3 0 p m

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Mon-Sat: 9 - 9 / Sun: 10-6 • 8 6 2 - 0 6 4 6 5 1 8 S h e l b u r n e R o a d N e x t To M a l l 1 8 9 E t h a n A l l e n S h o p p i o g C e n t e r on H o r t h A v e

PROGRESSIVE

Currently, Project Home has a number of capable hourly caregivers available to provide service for individuals needing 20 hours a week or more. other

Project Home, a program of the Cathedral Square Corporation, is a member of the United Way of Chittenden County. Project Home 187 St. Paul Street • Burlington, VT 05401 (802) 863-5625 • Fax: (802) 863-0274 e-mail: home@together.net

HOMEBREW IS SEXY Are you twenty-one, beer•/ We can help. selection of homebrew Clothing

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Project Home assists elders and adults with disabilites to live in dignity in their own homes by bringing them together with persons seeking affordable housing and/or caregiving opportunities.

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Come find fun holiday pieces for your home and friends. VISIT ONE OF OUR FACTORY STORE LOCATIONS The Corner of M a i n and Battery Sts. Burlington, V T (802) 6 5 2 - 0 8 0 0 Elkins, N H • Tilton, N H • Quechee, V T • Burlington, V T •

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Harkness, Capt. Powlovich and Capt. Kerry Sleeper "were overwhelmingly the top two names that our membership thought would be the best possible choices to lead our organization into the 21st century." Lt. Col. Powlovich is just 43. A Massachusetts native with Polish-Irish roots, he signed up with the Vermont State Police when he was just a wee lad of 20. "It's a new generation of leadership," said Walton. "We're losing the gray beards fast." And Powlovich, who resides in Jericho with his wife and three kids, does support the union's call for 60 new positions. The Vermont State Police are stretched pretty thin, in case you haven't noticed. That's why folks speed like hell on the Interstate, 'cause they know you have a bet-' ter chance of seeing an emu-than seeing a green patrol car. r Speaking of emus, the meaty feathered critter that tied up traffic on the Richmond flats last week was put down by a bullet from a trooper's .40-cal sidearm. Captain Sleeper declined to reveal the name of the trooper who fired the shot. Hey, who knows, maybe the animal rights protesters who recently demonstrated against the deer hunt at Shelburne Farms might develop an affection for emus. The origin of the Interstate Emu remains a mystery. Emu farmer Phyllis Higgins of Northfield told Seven Days no birds are missing from the local flocks. There are about 25 emu farmers in Vermont. The Interstate Emu could have come from New Hampshire. Can't blame him for leaving. Emu farmer Pat Goodall of Holland pointed out it'd be a good idea if police and fish and wildlife officials had some training in handling an emu. There's a certain way to catch them, said Goodall. Short of opening fire, she said, police could have phone numbers of emu farmers to call on for assistance. The prehistoric birds have been around for 80 million years. Way before interstates. And note that Friday afternoon, 3:30 to 6, Higgins will be giving a demo on pepperoni

sausage emu at the Hunger Mountain Co-op in Montpeculiar. No, not the Interstate Emu. Speaking of Cops — What a nasty, bitchy editorial in The Burlington Free Press Monday, spitting all over Burlington's Queen of Cops — Chief Alana Ennis. Jeezum crow. The Freeps tried to blame Ennis for just about everything wrong in Burlington, from heroin to student parties. Hello? The editorial even took a dig at our Cop Queen for "moonlighting." As if she had a side job as a belly dancer in Swan ton. Chief Ennis "moonlighted" by teaching a two-weekend course at UVM s graduate school of public administration on "controversial issues in policing." Shocking. The fact is, so far Alana Ennis has lived up to her billing as a top-shelf police administrator. The troops remain impressed with her leadership style and savvy. You've got to wonder if the Freeps editorial board has a problem with a woman doing a man's job, and doing it well. Election 2000 — Stop the presses! Sources say Republican National Committeeman Skip Vallee is telling folks he's planning a run for lieutenant governor. Skip told us this week, however, "no decision has been made." Gasoline Vallee, a staunch Ruth Dwyer supporter, said his candidacy is "under active consideration." Also, sources say Dean's former Commerce Secretary, Bill Shouldice IV, is looking at the lite-gov race, too. As a Republican. Very interesting. Domestic Violence Update — The local media was out in force Monday for the arraignment of Carl Sears. He's charged with murdering his estranged wife Saturday morning the K-Mart parking lot. But Sears wasn't the only domestic violence case in court Monday. Five people were arrested in Chittenden County for domestic assault over the weekend, but the Sears case is the only one that resulted in a death. Of the five, three involved men who allegedly assaulted their present or former wives. One involved a Winooski man who allegedly punched his 17-year-old son in the face and ribs. And the other case involved a Burlington woman who, after returning from a night at the bars, punched out her live-in boyfriend. He had a laceratioa under his eye and a bloody lip when police arrived. All five pleaded not guilty and were released on conditions. Last year, over 350 cases of domestic assault were prosecuted in Chittenden County. Hey, it's a jungle out there. Media Notes — W C A X reporter Mark Bosma has made the move from the station's Rutland bureau to Burlington. He'll fill the vacancy created by the departure of Dave Vance last week. Mark's a graduate of C V U ' and UVM and, like the new director of the state police, he's a redhead. ® - 1 > x * •':>•

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from $ 2 3 5 in 18kt

give

her

SPARKLERS for your

eyes. University Mall • 802-864-6653 * www.metrozoo.com

J B L U E +

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A t Pandora's Fine Wine 6 Cheese, we've got terrific "fin de siecle" deals on the era's

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OPEN 1 2 9 3

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150 Church Street, Burlington, Vermont

DEC-

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YOUR DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONS NEED NO ENDORSEMENT. Turkey Bones Hake deed Soup We bake the bird and use its bones for stock. The breast are used for sandwiches. Our bread is made from scratch every morning. Our mayonnaise is also homemade. We don't grow the plum tomatoes and green leaf lettuce.

We invest in research and technology to make our shoes better, not in endorsements.

Other styles available

LILYDALE Bakery Cafe

Men's & Women's

1350 Shelburne Road • Across from VW, next to I D X • 658-2422

ill

Three good reasons why we make athletic shoes in different widths.

achieve new balance J COME IN TODAY AND SEE OUR WIDE VARIETY OF NEW BALANCE PRODUCTS

OPEN 7 D A Y S A WEEK WILLISTON

168 battery st. burlington, vt

802.651.0880

476-7446 december 8 , 1 9 9 9

Tafts corner

879-6640

'SEVEN DAYS

page 5 3

deadline: monday, 5 pm • phone 802.864.5684 • fax 802.865.1015 LINE ADS: 25 words for $7. Over 25 words: 300 a word. Longer running ads are discounted. Ads must be prepaid. DISPLAY ADS: $14 per col. inch. Group buys for employment display ads are available with the Addison Independent, the St. Albans Messenger, the Milton Independent and the Essex Reporter. Call for more details. VISA and MASTERCARD accepted. And cash, of course.

EMPLOYMENT CHAMPLAIN

o rie sot a u rm : ant Waitstaff

C O L L E G E

Bookstore Temp Help Champlain College

Full- & Part-time Fun & Motivated

A p p l y in person at 171 Battery St., Burlington

Dishwashers Janitors

Bookstore seeks temporary help 12/13-1/14. Fast-

$9 - $10

paced, fun atmosphere in

per

hour

college environment. Cash

FT or PT Flexible Shifts

register experience helpful but not necessary. Apply to Champlain College Bookstore, Joyce Learning Center, 371 Maple Street, Burlington.

Apply in person to: KOTO JAPANESE

RESTAURANT

HIBACHI & SUSHI 792 Shelburne Road So. Burlington, VT

Sheraton Burlington m m x i'mfffFRENCF. CFJVTfB

Sales

Manager

This opportunity is for a career driven individual to solicit and service new and existing accounts for Vermont's largest hotel and conference center. We are looking for a self-motivated, assertive sales achiever with 1-3 years experience with demonstrated results. Individual must be customer and quality oriented, possess strong closing and communication skills and be able to meet established goals. Computer literacy preferred. Be part of Sheraton Burlington's award winning team. Compensation is a base salary plus a bonus plan. Our benefits include medical, dental, life and disability insurance, paid time off, 401 (k), hotel discounts, etc. Please send resume and cover letter to Shirlene Blanchet, Human Resources, 870 Williston Road. Burlington, 05403 or fax to (802) 865-6696. L Equal Opportunity Employer A

Do you LOVE food? The Onion River Coop is seeking a... GROCERY MANAGER SIGN MAKER CASHIER GROCERY STORE ASST. The Onion River Coop offers competitive wages, medical and dental insurance, IRA, paid vacations and holidays, great store discounts! Please send resume with cover letter or apply in person at: Onion River Coop, Attn: HR Department, 274 N. Winooski Avenue, Burlington, VT 05401. EOE. No phone calls, please.

YOUTH & VOLUNTEER PROGRAM COORDINATOR

CLiivib H i q h Reta'iI B u y E R / F l o o R M a n a q e r We are seeking a new apparel buyer/floor m a n a g e r a t our S h e l b u r n e s t o r e .

Seeking energetic, educator to train teens and adult volunteers in a hands-on sci- " ence center. Combine your enthusiasm for teaching, training, program design, community outreach, and youth employment. Qualifications: BA/8S and experience with teaching youth. Grant writing desired. Send resume and cover letter by 12/13 to Julie Silverman, Lake Champlain Basin Science Center, One College St., Burlington, VT 05401. i.K

R e s p o n s i b i l i t e s include: • B u y i n g all a p p a r e l , s u n g l a s s e s , a c c e s s o r i e s • Sales analysis, inventory m a n a g e m e n t • S a l e s a n d m a n a g e r i a l w o r k on t h e r e t a i l floor Qualifications: • Strong outdoor i n d u s t r y sales and c u s t o m e r service and /or retail buying experience. • The ability to handle multiple tasks smoothly in a f a s t - p a c e d t e a m e n v i r o n m e n t Salary commensurate with experience. Benefits included. Send r e s u m e and cover letter to: C l i m b H i g h , 1 3 5 N o r t h s i d e Dr., S h e l b u r n e , V T 0 5 4 8 2 A t t n : Bill S u p p l e

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E-mail: icbsc@togetber.net,

Positions Left! SfcT / n s t r o c t o r s • L \ H A t t e n d a n t s

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BOB

e v e n so, m i s t a k e s c a n o c c u r , report errors at o n c e , as seven days w i l l not be r e s p o n s i b l e for errors c o n t i n u i n g b e y o n d t h e f i r s t p r i n t i n g , a d j u s t m e n t for error is l i m i t e d t o r e p u b l i c a t i o n , i n a n y e v e n t , l i a b i l i t y for errors (or o m i s s i o n s ) s h a l l not exceed t h e cost of t h e s p a c e o c c u p i e d by s u c h an error (or o m i s s i o n ) , ail a d v e r t i s i n g is s u b j e c t t o review by seven days, seven days reserves t h e r i g h t t o e d i t , p r o p e r l y c a t e g o r i z e or d e c l i n e any ad w i t h o u t c o m m e n t or a p p e a l .

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Classifieds • 864.5684

CIVIL RIGHTS INVESTIGATORS needed for discrimination study. Compensation and training provided. Flexible hours. Please call 8 6 4 - 3 3 3 4 for more info. CLIENT SERVICES CONSULTANT: Provide advocacy & support to HIV+ population. Knowledge of substance abuse, mental health and housing issues preferred. Respond by 12/10 to: Vermont Cares, PO Box 5 2 4 8 , Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 2 or email: joannz@vtcares.org. EDITOR: Small JapaneseEnglish translation business in Charlotte seeks part-time editor. Requires good writing skills, ability to handle technical material & PC experience. Does not req. knowledge of Japanese. Must be reliable/hard-working. Flexible working hrs. Call 4 2 5 - 6 1 4 5 ASAP.

ENTERTAINERS; One of VT's finest entertainment services seeking lingerie models & dancers. No exp. necessary, will train. To apply, call Nicole, 8 6 3 - 9 5 1 0 , 7 - 1 1 p.m. OFFICE ASSISTANT NEEDED: Organizational skills vital, computer data entry experience a plus. Cal Don at Alchemy Studios, 6 5 5 - 6 2 5 1 xl02. PRODUCTION SCREENPRINTERS needed: Call Don at Alchemy Studios, 6 5 5 6251 xl02. SKILLED PRODUCTION WORKERS needed: Call Don at Alchemy Studios, 6 5 5 6251 xl02.

M E N START YOUR CAREER IN THE MUSIC BUSINESS: Signal to Noise, he journal of improvised & experimental music seeks account executive with interest in creative music to sell ads on commission. Experience, enthusiasm, confidence & determination essential. Call 9 5 1 1 1 4 0 or fax 8 6 3 - 4 6 6 5 .

WORK WITH YOUTH IN A variety of areas. Direct Care Workers for communitybased activities, Educators for the academic school year. Good starting pay. Vehicle required, BA preferred. Send resume to TSYF, 1 Mill St., Box B-12, Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 1 or call 8 6 3 - 4 1 3 0 .

SUPPORT PERSON POSITION: Active 23-year-old seeks energetic caregivers to provide transportation, companionship and presence at night. Valid driver's license, insurance and good driving record. Some light housekeeping. Contact Heather, 658-7838.

BUSINESS OPP.

Apprentice-looking for a career oriented entry level person to learn computerized machine trades. Health insurance, retirement package, paid vacation. Send resume or call: Advanced Machine & Tool Co. P.O. Box 802 Milton, VT 05488.1882) 883-8322.

Wordsmith Burlington's Legacy Project is looking for a talented w o r d s m i t h to capture in concise language the results of a city-wide

E-COMMERCE BUSINESS. Complete turnkey packages. Lifetime support/training. Small investment. Huge return. 1 - 8 8 8 - 5 4 2 - 8 3 8 8 . www.fi I l-your-wal let.net.

Machinist-Full time with 3-5 years experience. 1st shift, immediate opening. Manual mill and lathe work. Benefits include health insurance, a retirement package, and 2 weeks vacation. Send resume or call: Advanced Machine & Tool Co. P.O. BOX 802 Hilton, VT 05488. (882) 893-6322.

visioning a n d action-planning process. Individual will w o r k with a professional staff and receive i n p u t f r o m a multi-stakeholder steering committee. Support, editorial, and limited graphic design services will be provided.

^Yvere d o y o u see

If you are interested, qualified, and

If you see yourself taking o n the challenges that c o m e with w o r k i n g for one of the leading financial companies in N e w E n g l a n d , we m a y have the job for you:

available, call D i a n a C a r m i n a t i at 8657 5 1 5 for m o r e i n f o r m a t i o n a n d proposal guidelines. W o r k will begin by m i d December.

O N CALL TELLERS

T h e C i t y of Burlington is an equal o p p o r t u n i t y

Howard Bank is seeking outgoing individuals with demonstrated extraordinary customer service skills to work in our branch offices. Previous experience is not necessary, we will provide training. W e are looking to bring on board five On-Call Tellers. Three will be based in Burlington to cover our Chittenden County branches. Two will be based in Montpelier to cover our Central Vermont branches. These positions will be On-Call to cover vacations and sicknesses. W o r k P/T or F/T during school breaks! W o r k F/T or P/T over the summer!

employer a n d encourages proposals f r o m qualified w o m e n , minorities, a n d people with disabilites.

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Looking for a personal care attendant to work with a nine-year old boy who lives in Montpelier. After school hours, Monday through Friday, up to 20 hours a week. Willingness to participate in after school

activities as well as personal care duties within the home. Valid driver's license needed. EOE.

Banknorth C r o u p provides competitve salaries and a comprehensive benefits package. Applications are available at any of our locations or by calling our Job Hotline at 1 - 8 0 0 - 4 6 2 - 1 9 4 3 . Interested candidates should forward their resume to:

B a n k n o r t h G r o u p , Inc. H u m a n Resources D e p a r t m e n t P O Box 3 6 6 Burlington, V T 0 5 4 0 2 - 0 3 6 6

Interested applicants, please send letter of

interest and resume toi WCMHS, Inc. Human Resource Department, PO Box 647 Montpelier, VT 05601 -0647,

A n Equal Opportunity Employer

HI Howard Bank A Banknorth Financial Resource

young,

smart,

BUSINESS OPP. REAL ESTATE ENTREPRENEURS! Start your own business. High-tech product that everyone needs. No competition, low start-up costs. Will train, Crisp Air, 802-244-8344.

HOMES FROM $ 5 , 0 0 0 . Foreclosed and repossessed. No or low down payment. Credit trouble OK. For current listings call 1 - 8 0 0 - 3 1 1 5 0 4 8 ext. 3 4 7 8 .

AVAILABLE FOR HIRE

OFFICE/STUDIO FOR RENT

EXPERIENCED BARTENDER available for your New Year's party! Casual to black tie; 2 0 - 2 0 0 people; private party, restaurant or catered event. Affordable, social and completely professional. Minimum guarantee and top pay desired. Call James, 7 3 4 - 1 2 0 7 (cellular).

BURLINGTON: Office/studio space on College St. 2 1 5 sq. ft. total, 2 rooms ( 1 3 ' x l O ' & 7 ' x l 2 ' ) . Great light, downtown location. Own entry. Avail. 1/1. $ 1 7 5 / m o . + utils. 865-5015.

ANNOUNCEMENTS GREEN MT. INSTITUTE OF Oriental Medicine now accepting applications for Spring semester starting 1/2000. Programs include acupuncture & Oriental medicine, Oriental bodywork therapy, Chinese massage & auricular therapy. For more info, call 2 9 5 - 6 6 2 9 . YOUR CLASSIFIED AD printed in more than 1 0 0 alternative papers like this one for just $ 9 5 0 ! To run your ad in papers with a total circulation exceeding 6.5 million copies per week, call Glenn at Seven Days, 8 0 2 - 8 6 4 5 6 8 4 . Regional buys also available.

AUTOMOTIVE FORDT-BIRD, '85: 8 3 K mi., reliable and runs well. Need to sell by 12/18. Asking $1500. 864-9297. MITSUBISHI EXPO WAGON, '94: black, 4-dr., 93K mi., a/c, cassette, very clean. $ 6 , 4 0 0 o.b.o. 6 5 8 - 5 9 8 9 . OLDS. CUTLASS SIERRA, ' 8 4 : body & interior in excellent condition. Southern winters (1 VT winter). Needs engine work. $ 2 0 0 . 865-8392. TOYOTA TERCEL WAGON, '86: 99K mi.; engine, body, interior good. Needs work. $ 4 0 0 o.b.o. 8 6 2 - 9 0 1 5 .

AUTOMOTIVE VW CABRIOLET, '85: 107K mi., 5-spd., 1.8 liters, silver, well-maintained, doesn't burn oil, almost no rust. $ 3 5 0 0 o.b.o. Sean, 864-3086.

REAL ESTATE WANTED: PROPERTY TO purchase. Expanding service business seeks multi-unit apartment building or commercial rental spaces in Burlington or So. Burlington. Must have garage & storage space. Call 8 6 3 - 5 3 9 7 or 355-0025.

energetic.,. are the " h i r e

BURLINGTON: 3-bdrm., 2 bath townhouse (borders Oakledge Park), quiet, sunny, pool, tennis, energy-efficient. Non-smokers preferred. Lease/purchase option. Avail 12/1. $ 9 2 5 / m o . + refs. 862-3719. BURLINGTON: many windows, near downtown. Avail 1/1. No pets. $ 5 6 5 / m o . 865-4317. BURLINGTON: Ig. 2-bdrm., porch, new paint & carpet. 103 No. Winooski Ave. Avail, now. 2 8 3 - 4 2 4 5 , leave name & number. BURLINGTON: Clean, 3bdrm. apt., hdwd. firs., dishwasher, washer, enclosed porch, yard & garden space. Gas heat. Avail, immediately. $ 7 7 5 / m o . + utils. Call 482-3653. BURLINGTON: Attractive, 3story, downtown townhouse. 3 Ig. bdrms., 1.5 bath, dishwasher, W/D, storage, parking, gas hot water/heat. No pets. Avail. 12/18. $ 1 1 0 0 / m o . + utils. Call 658-2578. BURLINGTON: 2-bdrm. apt., 2nd floor, enclosed porch, gas heat/water. Avail, immediately. Refs. required. $650/mo. 453-6112. BURLINGTON: 1-bdrm. apt., corner of Grant & N. Union, 2nd floor, private entrance, porch, storage, sm. yard, parking & heat incl. No pets. $600/mo. 8 6 3 - 3 3 0 5 . BURLINGTON: Large 2bdrm., porch, new paint & carpet. 103 N. Winooski Ave. Avail, now. $ 8 5 0 / m o . 2 8 3 - 4 2 4 5 , leave name & number. BURLINGTON: Efficiency, gas heat, off-street parking, W/D, garden spot, 4 blocks to UVM. No dogs. $ 4 5 0 / m o . + utils. 6 5 7 - 2 0 1 9 . COLCHESTER: Malletts Bay, 2-bdrm., gas heat, parking, on-site laundry. Avail. 1/1, poss. sooner. $ 7 0 0 / m o . + utils. 8 6 4 - 2 6 1 8 .

LOOKING TO RENT ROMANTIC CAMP OR HOUSE anywhere in the state. From Dec. 3 1 — Jan. 2. Inquire evenings, Katherine, 4 5 3 - 4 4 8 5 .

and foo/zincf f^or u/orL,

SEVEN DAYSreaders

APT7H0USE FOR RENT

class"

• 45% of Seven Days readers are between the ages of 18 and 34 • 90% have been to college and 70% have a college degreee or higher

HOUSEMATES WANTED BURLINGTON: One roommate needed Dec.—June. Great house & roommates. Nice room, porch, parking. Downtown location. $ 3 3 5 / m o . + dep. 9 5 1 - 1 7 3 9 .

Call Michelle at 864-5684 to place an employment display ad. deeember

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711 Classifieds • 8 6 4 . 5 6 8 4 HOMEBREW

HOUSEMATES WANTED

UNIQUE LIVING SITUATIONS

PAINTING SERVICES

TUTORING SERVICES

BURLINGTON: downtown. Creative, laid-back, friendly housemate wanted for our beautiful, funky, artist's pad. Lg. room avail. 1/1. $ 3 9 5 / m o . + utils. Call Keith, 865-4834.

SWAP APARTMENTS W I T H ME! Need to move closer to Burlington. I have an unreal place in Charlotte: hdwd. firs., many acres, gardens, decks, garage, fireplace, everything! $ 5 0 0 / m o . , dogs great. I want a unique place with large windows, high ceilings in similar price range. Will consider everything. Call immediately, 425-5748.

PROFESSIONAL PAINTING: CJ Paints — Interior/exterior, insured. Free estimates. References. Call Chris Jones, 877-2279.

MATH, ENGLISH, WRITING, Science, Humanities, Proofreading — from elementary to graduate level. Test Prep for GRE, LSAT, GMAT, SAT I & SAT II, ACT, GED, TOEFL... Michael Kraemer, 8 6 2 - 4 0 4 2 .

BURLINGTON: Beautiful, sunny apt., great neighborhood, short w a l k i n g distance t o UVM, co-op. Health-conscious female. Garen, parking, laundry. $ 4 5 0 / m o . , incl. utils. & phone. 8 6 2 - 1 6 6 4 or 8 6 5 - 2 7 5 6 (box 2). BURLINGTON: Male or female for 6 - b d r m . house w/ 5 others. Jan.—May. Great location, close to downtown 6 UVM, W/D. $ 3 3 0 / m o . Sarah, 6 6 0 - 9 8 4 5 . BURLINGTON: 3 professional women seek w o m a n , 2 5 + , t o share spacious house — lg. kitchen, W/D, off-street parking, non-smoking, no pets. $ 3 2 5 / m o . + utils. 859-0250. BURLINGTON: Female nonsmoker wanted to share apt. close to downtown w/ 2 others. Really friendly people. $ 3 0 0 / m o . Cary or Nicole, 658-6372. BURLINGTON: One to share newly renovated, 2 - b d r m . w/ professional/student + dog. Walking distance to downtown + bike path. $ 3 7 5 / m o . + 1/2 utils. . Avail, i m m e d . Lisa, 9 5 1 - 9 6 0 6 . BURLINGTON: 3 motivated, healthy, fun females seek 4 t h , preferably f e m a l e nonsmoker. Convenient location, hdwd. firs., parking, W/D. Avail 1/1. $ 3 7 5 / m o . + elec. Sara, 8 6 4 - 4 1 8 5 . COLCHESTER: Prof, male, non-smoker, no pets, to share old farmhouse on Colchester Pond. $ 4 0 0 / m o . , incl. all. 8 7 9 - 1 1 6 2 ( e ) . H I N E S B U R G : Room in contemporary home in nice wooded setting. Dog friendly. Seeking mature, responsible person. $ 4 0 0 / m o . , incl. all. Avail. 1/1. 4 8 2 - 2 3 9 4 . NO. FERRISBURGH: Prof., non-smoking female wanted to share spacious 2 - b d r m . apt. w/ same + 2 dogs. $ 4 0 0 / m o . + 1/2 utils. + dep. (heat incl.) Avail, now. 425-5593.

DATING SERVICES

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ALMARTIN V O L V O

85 Executive Drive, Shelburne, VT 1 -800-639-5088 802-985-1030

Dear Tom and Ray: Is it possible to rotate the seats in my '96 Oldsmobile Aurora? I'm a fairly big guy, and I drive a lot. The car has more than 150,000 miles on it already. The passenger seat has only a few thousand miles of "seat time" on it —most of it by smaller people. Casual examination of the situation looks promising —seat controls are mounted on the doors, not the seats. The seats seem to be symmetrical. They both have the same functions: heat, lumbar, tilt, recline, etc. So can this be done? Will the bolts line up with the holes? Will it be safe? —Mark TOM: You might be able to do it, Mark, but you're going to have to

experiment. I've never done a fullfrontal seat transplant on an Aurora (there are only few hospitals in the country that do this). On most cars, seats are left- and right-specific, but some do happen to be interchangeable. RAY: And since your seats have the same electronic features, are remotely controlled from the doors and have seat belts that are attached to the pillars — not the seats themselves — there's no reason not to try it. TOM: It's a simple procedure. There are usually four or so bolts that hold each seat in place and an electrical harness that plugs in under the seat. So take 'em out some Saturday morning and try reinstalling one on the other side. If it works, finish the job. RAY: If the bolt holes don't line up correctly, put the seats back in their original positions and forget about it. It'll take you an hour or less either way.

december 8, 1999

TOM: And in terms of safety, if the holes line up and you tighten the bolts properly, it should be fine. There are no safety features in the driver's seat of ..this car that are not present in the passenger seat. RAY: If the holes don't line up and you're unable to do the transplant, there are two other options you can look into, Mark. One is to look for a newer, used Aurora driver's seat at a junkyard. The other is to go to an automotive upholstery shop and have them restuff and, if necessary, reupholster your driver's seat. That's cheaper than a new seat, and they may even be able to customize the Aurora's seat to your seat. Dear Tom and Ray: This business of batteries and concretefloorsneeds to be explained and put to rest. Years ago, everybody knew that you were never supposed to put a car battery on a concretefloorbecause it would be quickly ruined. That statement was absolutely true, but they weren't talking about the BATTERY being ruined, they were talking about the CONCRETE FLOOR! Batteries used to be "topped off" with water, which resulted in acid being spattered

GREAT C L I M B I N G START-UP gear: Lince-I shoes, Troll harness, Wild Country chalk bag, carabiners and hardware. Just $ 1 0 0 . Call Jason, 660-9955.

BUY THIS STUFF BED: Queen, black wroughtiron canopy, mattress, box & frame. Unused, still in box. Retail $ 8 9 9 . Sell $ 3 6 5 . 658-3707.

BURLINGTON to GRAND ISLE: I'm looking for a ride 2 days/wk., either M/W or T/TH. I would like to be in Grand Isle by 2 p.m. and leave Grand Isle for Burlington the following day around noon. (3227) SO. BURLINGTON to LI: We are driving to Rocky Pt., LI the weekend of 12/17. We are planning on leaving VT around noon of the 17th and returning on 12/20. If you are a non-smoker & need a ride to LI that weekend, please call 862-5223. JERICHO to BURLINGTON: I am hiking for a ride temporarily. My hours are M-TH, 8-8 and F, 8-5. (3225) SO. BURLINGTON (Spear St.) to BURLINGTON: I am looking for a ride to work in the a.m. I ned to be downtown by 7ish M-F. (3224) WINOOSKI to SO. BURLINGTON: I'm looking to share driving or be a passenger on my commute. My hrs. are M, T, W, F 9-5:30 & TH 128. (3222)

SINGER 1 5 1 0 SEWING m a c h i n e (anniv. edition): accessories, instruction manual & built-in sewing table. Both pristine condition. $ 5 0 . Call Frederick, 8 6 2 - 3 2 8 4 . SOFTUBS FOR SALE OR RENT: new and used. Portable and affordable. Indoor/outdoor. Hot Tubs For Fun, 3 7 7 Pine St., Burlington, VT. 9 5 1 - 8 8 2 7 .

BURLINGTON to MONTPELIER: I am hoping to travel to Montpelier once a week at 8 p.m., returning to Burl', the next morning at 8 a.m. (3219) WATERBURY CTR. to WINOOSKI: I am looking for a ride. My hours are M, W, TH 8-4, TU 8-5, & F 8-3. (3217) SO. BURLINGTON to WATERBURY: I would like to share driving with someone to Waterbury. My hours are M-F, 8-5. (3216) BURLINGTON to WILLISTON: I am looking for a ride for my short commute to work. My hours are M, T, TH, F, 8-5. (3220) BURLINGTON to ESSEX: I'm a UVM student looking for a ride to Essex on Sats. Work 8-Noon, & need a ride both ways. Please call even if you can take only one way. (3214) CHARLOTTE to MONTPELIER: I'm hoping to share driving with someone to help cut down on travel costs. My hours are 8-4:30, M-F. (3208)

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about. If you put one on a concrete floor without carefidly washing it, the acid ate into the concrete, quickly ruining the floor. It didn't hurt the battery one bit, but people who misunderstood the advice and wanted to appear knowledgeable came up with all sorts of foolish explanations as to why the battery should be ruined. Even an acidspattered battery will not leak its charge into the earth. There may be leakage across the terminals of a "top-post" battery, but that would be slight. So here's the story: If a battery is clean, you can safely put it on your concretefloor.If it's acid-spattered, put it on somebody else's concreteflooror stick a board under it. —Clay RAY: Clay, you sound so utterly convincing. If it were up to me, I'd buy your story lock, stock and barrel. But my brother says you're full of baloney. TOM: The GFCA (Garage Floor Cleaners of America) may indeed have had a hand in keeping batteries off concrete floors. But the real concern WAS the batteries. RAY: Thirty years ago or so, most battery casings were made of hard rubber. And because of the porosity of that material, battery acid would

BURLINGTON to RANDOLPH: I'm temporarily seeking a ride while my car is being repaired. My hours are 8:155, MWF. (3211) WILLISTON to CAMBRIDGE: Do you work 2nd shift at IBM? I'm looking to ride w/ someone who works until 11 p.m. (3213) MILTON to COLCHESTER: I would like to take a job working evenings and am hoping someone can help me out with a ride. My hours are 6 p.m. to 10:30 a.m., M-F. (3209) BRISTOL to ESSEX JCT.: My car is very unreliable, so I'm hoping to start riding with someone else who works in Essex Jet. Hrs. are M-F, 8-5. (3131) BURLINGTON to WILLISTON/ BLAIR PARK: I'm looking for a ride one way to work. I work at 10 a.m., M-F. (3205) CHAMP. COLLEGE to SHELBURNE RD.: I'm looking for a ride during winter months. Work 8-2, T/TH. Please call even if you can only take one way. (3200) Vermont J^PflPK.

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sometimes seep through the rubber and create a conductive path through the damp concrete, draining the battery. TOM: But that can't happen today with plastic-cased batteries. That's because molded polypropylene (a.k.a. plastic), is not porous at all. RAY: So today, you can put your battery on a concrete floor for as long as you want. And here's the interesting thing, Clay. The cooler the temperature, the slower a battery's rate of discharge. And because concrete is often cooler than its surroundings, leaving a modern battery on a concrete floor might actually make it last longer. Keep your car on the road and out of the repair shop by ordering Tom and Ray's pamphlet, Ten Ways You May Be Ruining Your Car Without Even Knowing It! Send $3 and a stamped (55 cents), self-addressed, No. 10 envelope to Used Car, PO Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475. Got a question about cars? Write to Click and Clack in care of this newspaper, or e-mail them by visiting the Car Talk section of cars.com on the World Wide Web.

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MUSIC VT-BASED WORKING NE circuit band looking for keyboardist. Must be solid rhythm player and comfortable with soloing. Willingness to travel a must. 2 8 8 9 1 3 6 or 7 1 8 - 6 3 7 - 6 4 3 2 . THE NOBBY REED PROJECT seeks FT bass player into the groove & playing original blues-rock tunes & willing to travel. Be dedicated. 8 6 8 2 1 8 7 , revreed@sover.net. BOTTOM END NEEDED: 2 guitarists w/ diverse material looking for bassist w/ taste & subtlety to fill out our sound. Call Eric/Greg, 4 3 4 - 6 4 9 1 . POKER HILL STUDIO: 8 9 9 4263.

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and other astronomical phenomena. On the other hand, he lived in obscurity, on the run from the law and, frankly, most of his writings sound like gobbledygook to me. Not that I'm any judge. For the world's smartest man, his name is conspicuously absent from my textbooks on science or philosophy. So, Cece baby, what's the straight dope? Was Sidis a misunderstood genius or a kook savant? — Dutch Courage, via the Internet, Youngstown, Ohio Yeah, like there's a difference. All we know is that Sidis, celebrated as a prodigy in his youth, produced virtually nothing of consequence as an adult. One of his major contributions to world literature was a book about streetcar transfers, which a biographer described as "the most boring book ever written." A few have professed to find deep meaning in this work and believe Sidis' many unpublished writings would yield great truths if only we lesser folk (well, you lesser folk) had the wit to understand them. But the more common explanation is that he was a gifted lad who was pushed too far too fast. Sidis was born April 1, 1898, to Russian Jewish immigrants to the U.S. From the evidence, Boris and Sarah Sidis were brilliant but neurotic — always a dangerous combination in parents. Determined to raise their son as a genius, the Sidises read him Greek myths, taught him to spell using alphabet blocks, etc. They claimed Billy spoke his first word at six months ai\d was reading The New York Times at a year and a half. To my mind this tells you more about the parents than the kid, and many say the Sidises viewed their son more as a living experiment than as a child.

Dear Cecil, Of course we all know you're the world's smartest human. However, I've heard about this guy, William James Sidis, who might have been the world's smartest person when he was alive. Harvard's youngest graduate, he was a lightning calculator and a linguistic genius, supposedly publishing papers anticipating the existence of black holes

Sidis was later estimated to have an I Q in the 250300 range, and while that's conjectural (hell, foolish — on what basis could the scale be run up that high?), there's little doubt that he was a very smart guy. He learned languages easily and had a knack for such stunts as mentally computing the day of the week for any date in history. At age eight he attracted national notice for

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sailing through high school and passing the M I T entrance exam. At 11 he became the second-youngest student ever to enroll at Harvard. A few months later he gave a talk at the Harvard mathematics club on "FourDimensional Bodies" that would have been impressive coming from a graduate student. Having graduated cum laudesx age 16, he entered Harvard Law School but dropped out before completing his degree. H e took a job teaching mathematics at Rice University but was harassed by the students and quit after a short time. He flirted with leftist causes and was briefly in the news in 1919 after being arrested for his involvement in a socialist rally that turned into a riot. After that, nothing. Estranged from his parents, Sidis worked for the rest of his life as a bookkeeper or at other jobs incommensurate with his talents. H e seldom socialized, for that matter seldom bathed, and he spent his off hours working on obscure manuscripts. T h e only book he published under his own name was The Animate and the Inanimate (1925), a philosophical work that his admirers claim anticipated the theory of black holes. In 1923 the newspapers reported that he was working as a $23-a-week clerk in New York City. The press paid him no further notice until 1937, when the New Yorker ran a piece entitled "April Fool" that poked fun at his lowly station. Sidis sued and eventually received a small settlement. H e died in 1944. W h y someone of Sidis' talents achieved so little has been the subject of some debate. Some say he demonstrates the folly of pushing young geniuses too soon; others blame his nutty parents. At any rate, he was rescued from anonymity by Robert M . Pirsig, author of the cult classic, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, who wrote about Sidis in his book Lila: An Inquiry Into Morals. He's now solidly ensconced in the pantheon of beings Too Smart for Their Own Good. Lord knows I've been there myself.

— CECIL ADAMS

Is there something you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams at the Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago, IL 60611, or e-mail him at cecil@chireader.com.

deeember S* 1 9 9 9

kcmbfii9 Jjj ARIES (Mar. 21-Apr. 19): For many Aries, independence is a virtue that flows in abundance — so much so that it's often on the verge of turning into a vice. That's why I'm thrilled to inform you that the mysteries of dependence could be especially intriguing to you now. They might also lead, paradoxically, to a form of interdependence that would in the long run nourish your independence. So whaddya say: Do you think you could talk your freewheeling spirit into putting yourself just a little more into the care and under the power of those who love you?

TAURUS

(Apr. 20-May 20): Your mirror may lie to you this week. A friend may neglect to share a crucial detail. Even pets and psychological crutches and normally reliable authority figures might not be all there for you. Fortunately, your secondary sources should come through in weird and interesting ways. Other peoples mirrors may reveal a clue you haven't been able to find in your own. An acquaintance could suddenly step forward and do a convincing impersonation of a good friend. And an underutilized asset just might provide a missing link. In conclusion, Taurus, always look for help out of the corner of your eye.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20): Let's talk about The Kiss, Part One. It wasn't exactly what you had in mind, was it? But that's why it had so much power to change you. That's why you were willing to dispense with formulas you'd clung to far past the time they'd served you. Now here comes The Kiss, Part Two. It'll be as different from Part One as Part One was from your original expectations. Are you brave enough to keep changing? And divest yourself of even more obsolete traditions? Or will you try to hang on to a beautiful but frozen memory?

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The science fiction writer Philip K. Dick was fond of saying that even the Virgin Mary had stretch marks. That's my pithy way of reminding you that if you're too worried about looking good, you'll never give birth to a masterpiece. So risk a few wrinkles and callouses, please, Cancerian. Sweat like a ditchdigger. Cry and laugh at the same time even if it makes your face look like a gargoyle's. Welcome all stretch marks, whether on your body or psyche, as proof of your heroic ordeal.

fantasy of revenge until you're swarming with hot bile? If so, you may be a ripe candidate for Repeaters Anonymous. At Repeaters Anonymous meetings, you'll learn that there's a big difference between neurotic compulsions and rituals that provide a supple sense of stability. An example of the latter is meditating for 15 minutes before breakfast each morning or doing an intimate check-in with a loved one every day at sunset.

on issues we'd been wishy-washy about. Gracias, as well, Scorpio, for those times you've helped us lose our excess dignity. It's hard to cling to our pretensions with you around. May I make just one suggestion, though, about how to improve upon these already stellar efforts? Regularly visualize the most beautiful qualities of the people whose lives you're transforming.

LIBRA

Dec. 21): I believe that when you chatter carelessly about a big change that's in the works, you drain it of some of its potency. So I don't want to trumpet or gossip about the fabulous gift that's on its way to you. I'll just mention that it's coming, and leave you to prepare a clean, warm, well-lit place for it to land. Here's a hint: It could, among other things, turn a murky secret or failed dream from your past into an inspiring asset.

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Maybe because I have three planets in Libra in my own chart, I'm not certain L E O (July 23-Aug. 22): According about many things in life. At this parto color therapists, green is the color of ticular moment, though, I'm damn sure fertility, creativity and lush abundance. of one fact: In the week ahead, you It promotes growth, wealth and sensual won't know what you're looking for till poise. Now if you multiply green by 10, you find it. Therefore, no self-doubt you get everglade, a succulent new incar- tortures me as I advise you to hear and nation of green for the 21st century. All obey the following five-point plan. 1) the color therapists I consulted agree Purge all your know-it-all tendencies. that everglade is your color right now. 2) Revive your childhood talent for To propitiate your relationship with it, being insanely curious about everyLeo, I urge you to close your eyes and thing. 3) Ask more questions than visualize yourself surrounded by an eggyou've ever asked before. 4) See if you shaped aura of everglade. Then maybe can figure out how to be receptive buy yourself some new everglade without being passive, and how to be clothes, create a shrine filled with everhumble without dampening your selfglade knick-knacks and holy objects, confidence. 5) Consider the possibility and maybe even kiss an everglade frog. that you have a lot to learn about Also recommended: Get an everglade what's best for you. felt-tip marker and write "I am flourishing" somewhere on your body. (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

SCORPIO

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Are you the kind of person who has to have a drink or call a friend or read a horoscope at the same time every single day? Do you ever tell an amusing story over and over until the feelings it originally carried have evaporated? Do you sometimes enjoy replaying the same acidic

On behalf of all the other signs, I'd like to express our gratitude for the emotional jumpstarts you Scorpio folk have given us in 1999. The jolt hasn't always been comfortable, true, but in retrospect we've often said, "Thanks, I needed that." We also greatly appreciate the arguments you've embroiled us in this year. They've forced us to take stands

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ACROSS 1 Trails 5 Strikebreaker 9 Burst of energy 14 "Lonesome George" 19 Gulf country 2 0 Unwind a rind 21 Actress Shire 22 Nose 23 Vittie statistics? 24 Movie mutt 25 Speaker of remark starting at 42 Across 2 7 Alarm 29 Mrs. Zeus 3 1 XXVII x II 32 Sleep stage 33 Contralto Stevens 3 5 Rampur royalty 3 9 Soho snack 41 Diocese 4 2 Start of a remark 4 9 Hair ball? 5 0 Former nation: abbr. 51 D-Day code name 5 2 GHbert of "Roseanne" 5 5 Game division 5 8 Massachusetts city Cr

-*page 6 0

114 Moment of 6 0 Paint truth pigment 115 —-do-well 6 2 Author 116 Browning's Irving bedtime? . 6 3 Fluffy 117 Pipe female cleaner? 6 4 September 119 Manipulates birthstone 122 In shock 6 7 They 126 End of may be remark saturated 7 0 Add fringe 132 Word with steak or 7 3 Remsen or soda Flatow 7 4 Cambodia's 134 Marseilles mother Lon — 135 Adhesive 7 5 Part 2 of ingredient remark 136 Viewpoint 81 Fire 137 Hunky-dory 8 2 — Dhabi 138 Key 83 Oomph 8 4 Floor model 139 Rob of "Silk Stalkings" 8 5 Flatter 140 Sorcery 8 8 A mean 141 Lacquered Amin metalware 9 0 Seller's 142 Footfall partner 9 4 Be nosy DOWN 9 5 Null and 1 Like a wet void noodle 9 9 Impasse 2 Section 1 0 0 Basilica 3 The area Journey of 101 Make some Natty—" dough ('85 film) 1 0 2 Jet-setter's 4 Apt rhyme need for worm 1 0 4 Onassis' 5 Bath, e.g. nickname 6 They're nuts 1 0 5 Part 3 of 7 Commedia remark 1 1 0 Sosa stat... :: dell'— 1 1 3 Swell - ~8 Den place? denizen

SEVEN DAYS <mnn

9 Fr. holy woman 10 Norm 11 Einstein's birthplace 12 100 dinars 13 "Bewitched" kid 14 Actress Rita 15 Planet, for one 16 Transvaal residents 17 Roast host 18 Delibes opera 26 Done 28 Org. founded in 1947 3 0 Eyebrow shape 34 Cozy 36 Sailor's shout 37 "Nautilus" c captain 38 Author Dinesen 40 Moral man? 42 Wading bird 43 "Candid Camera" creator 44 — Domini 45 '68 US Open winner. 4 6 Mason's tool 47 Proposition 48 Apiece 53 Endangered animal

december 8, 1999 umi

54 TV's 9 3 Surrounded "Broken — by 9 6 Neither 56 Facts, for short masc. nor 57 Spruce fem. 97 Crooner 59 Sill 61 Sniggler's Jerry quarry 9 8 Slaps on 65 Parched 99 Shoestring 66 Sheet of 101 Persian stamps poet 68 It'll give you 103 Fleshly a lift 1 0 6 Push a 69 "Elephant product Boy" 1 0 7 A/C actor measure 71 Guy's 1 0 8 Spearcounterpart headed 72 Monitor 1 0 9 Porthos' pal message 75 Animals 110 Appomattox signature 76 Successful 77 "High 111 Freeway Sierra" sounds actress 112 Gold brick? 78 Salad 118 Author veggie Ferber 79 Bullets, 120 "Braveheart" briefly extra 80 Director 121 Nevada Nicolas city 123 Gusto 81 "Nash Bridges" 124 — Stanley Gardner network 86 Reggae's 125 Prdfound Peter 1 2 7 Viking weapon 87 Duel-use items? 128 F l e u r - d e — 89 "What —for1 2 9 Souffle ingredient Love" ('75 song) 1 3 0 Actress MacGraw 91 Slightly open 1 3 1 Cal. page 92 Exceptional 133 "Toodle-oo!"

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Be a beast of burden this week. Work like a slave, being sure to skip meals. Starve yourself of sleep. Volunteer for overtime. If you have any spare time, do strenuous favors for friends and plan extra holiday activities. Just kidding, Capricorn! Just kidding! In fact, what I'd really like you to do is find plenty of excuses not to work too hard this week. Call in sick as often as possible, especially if you're not sick. Lounge around and spin out relaxed thoughts about your life's big picture. Right now, the best way to serve your long-term ambitions is by not worrying about them at all.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Being a famous astrologer has its

rewards. Today I was given a free pizza by a guy in a passing delivtruck. (Too bad I don't eat pizza.) People I barely know tell me their fascinating problems, which helps me dwell less on my own woes. And of course it's always fun to receive sexual offers from strangers. On the downside of having my column appear in 118 newspapers, I'm saddened when people misunderstand my oracles, or when they beg me to ease their suffering and I can't do a thing about it. And then there are the crazy fans, like the woman who periodically leaves broccoli bouquets on my car windshield. I'm telling you this, Aquarius, because I see analogies to your own life right now. Your success is about to bring both intriguing rewards and awkward challenges.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-Mar. 20): Today's high school students face the prospect of changing careers five times during their lives. If you're average, Pisces, that means you've got at least three more career changes to orchestrate. Got your eye on your next one? You should. This is an astrologically propitious time to let your imagination run away with you — gallop, in fact — as you contemplate the state of your livelihood. Don't stop sprinting until you stir up a wild crop of fantasies about what your future dream job could be. ®

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DWP, 39, POET, SEEKS PARTNER FOR sharing present moments to LTR. Spirituality, sensuality, sensitivity and evolution a must. Long walks and talks and exploration, inner and outer. Go sweetly deep. 1323

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WARM-HEARTED, LIVELY SPF, 36, SEEKS grown-up who enjoys growing things, building fires, playing outside and dancing to the beat of his own syncopated drum. You can lead...(sometimes). 1326

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I MUST BE IN THE WRONG PLACE AT THE wrong time, because I haven't met you yet. SWF, 45, NS, NS, mother of 1, seeks loving, kind, creative, intelligent adventurer in life.

J : SHY SWF, PAGAN, 26, ISO SM, 5'io"+, 28-36, * w/ sense of humor. My interests include: Tae Kwon Do, long walks & reading, plus various * and sundry others. 1328 • CAN YOU APPRECIATE? PETITE LADY, 37, W/ J good communication skills, hard-working, faithful, emotionally and financially secure, I loves music, fast cars, ocean, mountains, I sports, fishing, camping and loving a great I man. 1329 I

CREATIVE SPIRIT SEEKING M, 50+. WHO HAS substance, style, kind heart & active spiritual life. My likes: rural living, simple abundance, whole foods, fitness, world music, artsy endeavors. 1511 FUN-LOVING, INNOCENT CHILD INHABITING robust, vital, DPFW, 55 VO body. Outgoing massage therapist, musician, NYC transplant finally ready for honest companionship, shared acceptance and passion. Only available need apply. 1513

* I t J * • J • • ; *

SUPER SENIOR. WF, 73, ISO SWM, 68-7, TO enjoy the rest of our lives. I'm attractive, dress well, enjoy socializing, dining in/out, various types of music. Love to dance, travel. Would love to cook for that special someone. If that's you, then I'm here waiting breathlessly. 1514

• • * « • « •

CANDLELIGHT & ROMANCE. ATTRACTIVE, independent SWPF seeks emotionally available, secure, attractive, 30-something S/DWPM to share daytime adventures, playful encounters, wine tasting, jazz, blues, dancing and a general zest for life. 1515

C * * «

SKI WITH ME! WPF, 49, 5-9", NS, BLONDE/ blue-eyed. Blue trailer. Seeks tall PWM, NS, skier, for winter frolicking indoors and outdoors. Friends first. 1501 SPF, ATTRACTIVE, INTELLIGENT, ENJOYS outdoor activities, very fit, sense of humor. Seeking similar M, 39-48. 1504

1505

VIVACIOUS VIXEN SEEKS LONE WOLF. SWF, 30, 6', blonde, attractive fox seeks tall handsome, fit wolf, 28-36, for romantic moonlit walks, howling at the moon and tail chasing. I am wftrth the call, are you? 1477 DISPLACED DIRT FARMER DESIRES INTELLECTUAL, spiritual, emotional fellow traveller. Where will we go? Kosovo? Kant? The kitchen? Have tons of humor and books? I'm 44, moderately athletic, artistic. Mostly happy. 1461 ETERNAL OPTIMIST. SWF, 33, ENJOYS ALL aspects of healthy living. Lover of history, geography, humor, arts, reading, travel and the outdoors; spiritually and culturally openminded. Seeking companion to share all of " the above and more! 1475 MAMBO NO. 5.1. A LITTLE BIT OF JANIS, A little bit of Cleo, Zelda, Morgan, FI0J0, Amelia, Paula, Natasha, Meryl, Hero seeks a little bit of jimi, Albert, Lenny, Leander. 1476

PHON

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SWF, 36, NS, ND, PHYSICALLY FIT, CRAFTS person, musician, dancer, loves gardening, lively conversation over a healthy homecooked meal. ISO articulate, honest, 32-42, hard-working, with similar interest. 1243

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KIND, CARING, POSITIVE MAN SEEKS AMIABLE F for good conversations, perhaps more. I love jazz, hiking, running, photography, poetry, children, drawing, reading, philosophy, yard sales. NS, 5'9", 165 lbs., midaged. 1491 SWM, 26, s ' l i " , 165 LBS., GOOD-LOOKING, honest and trustworthy, seeks attractive F for friends or possible LTR. Must have sense of humor. 1500 ME: 28, NS, QUIET, SHY, PASSIONATE, NOT afraid to believe in love. Looking for a warrior princess to conquer my heart and capture my soul and devour it. Yummy. 1488

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WANTED: DANCE PARTNER, 25-45, WHO IS witty, playful, loyal, honest, ambitious, likes the outdoors, country living and life's simple pleasures. I offer the same. 1521 RIGHT-BRAINED, INTELLIGENT M, 28, ISO perfect F to see drama, film, arts, kiss when the light is perfect. Artists and smart people given first priority. 1523 DEPENDABLE, HONEST, LOYAL? Good-looking, hard-working WM, 20, NS, 5*7". I enjoy movies, music, snowboarding and eating out. ISO motivated, attractive WF, 18-24, for friendship/LTR. 1525 LOVE WINTER? ME, TOO. SWPM, 6', 39, ISO attractive, spunky, successful SWF, 25-40, for local & international adventures. Interests: skiing, travel, boats, dogs, bad weather, cooking, wine, offbeat humor. You? 1417 JOIN ME ON THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED. DWM, 34, NS, ND, 6'i", 180 lbs., caring, funny. Enjoys conversations, children, walks, bicycling, music, reading & sharing, thoughts & feelings. ISO F w/ similar interests. 1418 WARRIOR, LOVER, KING, MAGUS IN TRAINING, 44, former shadow boxer seeks young (minded) woman for shadow dancing. Intimacy, openness, risk, adventure, energy, creativity, play, sensuality, passion, respect, integrity, body, mind, soul. 1419 I COULD POUR LUCIOUS BATHS TO WARM your wanton feminine appetite. We could experience exceptionally erotic enticements of rhythmic lusts, them discreetly dive into delightfully delicious desires. 1458 INTELLIGENT & HANDSOME, 30+, BLUE EYES, blondish hair, muscles out to here even in a wheelchair, ISO honest F(s) who can deal with it and who therefore has at least 1/2 a brain, minimum. 1464 GOOD-LOOKING BM, 26, ISO EDUCATED, romantic women for long talks and long nights. Let's go out and have fun. 1466

YOUNG, POLITE 81 HANDSOME INTELLECTUAL seeks svelte English major or aspiring writer for deep conversation. Must have a love for all literature, film, art—classic to contemporary. Strictly platonic. 1470

With Instant A c c e s s y o u c a n r e s p o n d to P e r s o n <To> P e r s o n a d s 24hrs. a day, s e v e n d a y s a w e e k from a n y touch tone p h o n e including p a y p h o n e s a n d p h o n e s w/ 900 blocks.

SELECTIVE, WITH A STRONG INNER VOICE. Authentic, handsome, successful, very fit, 43. ISO smart, beautiful F who's adventuresome, fun, creative, fit, wanting mate and kid(s) someday. Serious replies only. 1471 ROMANCE, HONESTY AND DREAMS BEGIN here. DWPM, 40, 6*2", slender/athletic build, blonde, blue eyes, handsome, NS, no children, seeks attractive, fit/slender woman with morals, humor and family values. 1478 I AM A PUNJABI INDIAN DOING MY MBA IN hospitality in Rhode Island, searching for friends. I am 24, 5*10". I am basically from Delhi. If you wanna know more, if you feel right, reply back. 1481

: WHEREVER YOU ARE. DWM, 40S, 5*9", 145 * lbs., engaging, open-minded, appealing, I sexy, proportionate, youthful. Love outdoor J activities, movies, sunsets, travel, photogra* phy, bad weather, crop circles, laughing. « Seeking interesting, compassionate lover. 51503 MY BEAUTIFUL FRIEND SARA NEEDS A DATE! : SWPM, 34, ATHLETIC, ATTRACTIVE, OUTGO24 YO blonde enjoys snowboarding, music, t ING, intelligent & responsible. I like running, white Russians. ISO SPM, fit and attractive I biking, hiking, music, talking & doing other with similar interests. Haevy drinkers encour- 1 fun things w/ friends. I'm seeking a F w/ simaged to respond! 1359 I ilar qualities for a LTR. Friends first. 1506 EXTRA, EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT IT. Wanted: ; NICE GUY, 37, GOOD-LOOKING, STABLE, FUN. young man, single and free. Experienced in •j Likes music, bookshops, beach, hiking, conlove preferred, but will accept a young * versation, skiing, dancing. Take a chance. I trainee. 1268 * am. 1508 -•• DWF, 45, ATTRACTIVE, ECLECTIC, WHIMSIj DWM, 42, SEEKS A WOMAN WHO UNDERCAL, yet down-to-earth. Enjoys books, travel, * STANDS "slut" for the compliment it is, and X-country skiing. Seeks creative, affectionate « is an independent-thinking, fit, outdoorsy, M, 45+, NS, to share Sunday papers, fine I non-Republican, pet lover, as well. Retired wine, long walks and laughter. 1308 " » trophy wives especially welcome. 1509 SWPF, LATE-30S, INTELLIGENT MIND, CARING soul, attractive, humorous, genuine, emotionally/physically healthy and fun. Seeking someone to grow with and share with in a meaningful, respectful friendship/companionship/relationship. 1330

SWM, 28, BURSTING WITH YULETIDE MISCHIEF, seeks sassy, classy, woman, 40+, who melts under mistletoe, is on Santa's "naughty" list, and required her holiday package be unwrapped by skilled hands. 1522

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CAN YOU COME OUT AND PLAY? I CAN. Explore the ramifications of subtle energy control? Let's do it now, there's never a next time. The millennium approacheth. I dare ya. 1510

CHRISTMAS SPECIAL! EDUCATED, FIT SWM, 34, ornamented with contra dancing, movies, poetry, cooking and outdoor stuff is ISO independent, active, interesting woman for festive exploration of life. Rutland Co. 1468

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ATTRACTIVE, INTELLIGENT, ACTIVE DWPF, 31, mother of 2, ISO sensitive, down-to-earth, honest, gentle, attractive D/SPM, 28-40, with similar likes/lifestyle to share good conversation & candle-light dinners. 1203

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SWPF, 51, 5'8", SLIM, ATTRACTIVE, LOVES to I laugh, likes theater, music, movies, books, I travel. Seeking SM, 50s, with integrity and a 1 sense of humor, for conversation, friendship, I maybe more. 1420 * ATTRACTIVE SWF, 23, ACTIVE, LOVES OUTDOORS, cuddling, belly laughing and travel. ISO SM, NS, 22-30, with similar interests for friendship and possible LTR 1459

LONG-LAYERED LANDSCAPE INSPIRES ME TO kayak, camp, bike, drive, photograph and paint. I'd love a good-natured, perceptive, appreciative, middle-aged companion in my search for aesthetics, synchronicity & communion with nature. Active DWPNSF. 1317

: I CAN GO FROM BOARD MEETINGS TO BINGO * halls, B.B. King to Dixie Chicks, and silk to SWBiF, 20-SOMETHING, RUBENESQUE, » denim. Can you? DWF, 49, seeks SWM, NS. blond/ blue. Looking for winter advent 1MZ ture, late night talking, cuddling, more? J EVOLVING HIPSTER WITH LOTS OF INTEGRITY, You: nocturnal, smart, funny and bored as * spark and passions seeking fun, love & horI of Burlington's superficialities. Meet for « mony in the woods, at the ocean, over food coffee? 1483 » & watching films. Ages 37-53. Work. 1255 CALL THIS BEAUTIFUL SWPF, 38. ISO REAL j A PACKAGE DEAL: SWPF, 32, 5*2", W / SENSE man. Sweep me off my feet. 1395 I of humor, wishes to meet a SWM, 29-39, t 0 SNOW PRINCESS, 20-SOMETHING, SEEKS » share romance, candle-light dinners, movies, cohort for winter's outdoor and indoor activ- J travel and dance. 1191 ities. 1407 : IVORY GIRL, 34, WITH GREEN-EYED GAMINE YOUNG 40, FIT, ATTRACTIVE DWPF. Together, I charm seeks partner for life's simple joys secure; looking for same. 1396 ; and adventures. I'm the oudoorsy, bookish " sort, are you? Letters welcome. 1201 ICONOCLASTIC PARFAIT BEAUTY, SWF, 47, seeks tall, gorgeous, fun SWM for mischievous repartee, langorous lingerings, effete cultural interludes. Be brave. 1398

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NO MORE BLIND DATES, PLEASE. There has got to be a better way to find one spectacular, confident, sexy, 30-40ish, woman who loves kids and may want to have more. This soon to be divorced Dad is a young 40 and is athletic, romantic and, best of all, available. 1482 SWM LOOKING FOR COMPANIONSHIP WITH A SWF, 35-45, who is passionate and compassionate, to enjoy outdoor activities with and who also likes quiet times, candle light and romance. 1484 SWM, 37, SEEKS ATTRACTIVE, STARRY-EYED dream interpreter. I'm not a Bud drinker who likes to shoot animals, nor do I drive a pickup. Enough said? 1392 ARE WE COMPATIBLE? DWM, young 37, smoker, good looks/build, seeks a slender woman, 32-40, who enjoys the sun, camping, rock music, dancing, nights out, quiet intimate time. Much more. Call. 1394 NOTHING TO HIDE. DWM, 39, 6', 175 LBS., quiet, smoker, social drinker, decent-looking, independent. You break it, I fix it. What you se-e is what you get. ISO nice lady. 1397 WANTED: ATTRACTIVE, SUM, HAPPY, educated, open, honest, passionate mom and recreational athlete, 34-45, ISO similar dad for romance, family, adventure, fun and LTR. Reward: last piece of the puzzle. 1399

Dear Lcla, I've been one-third cfi a hot menage a trcis since the summer. I love everything about my lovers and our lifestyle. But I've recently begun to suspect that the other two-thirds ofj this triangle have been engaging in some extracurricular one-on-one. I teel jealous and excluded and cheated. Two-person side shows were not pail: ot the original agreement. I haven't said a word about this, and it's tearing me up inside. What should I do? Lett Cut in Lyndonville Dear Lett Cut, Whether you're involved in a threesome, a twosome or a meaningful relationship with your own hand, the same principles apply: honesty, trust, communication, respect and good will. Rather than hiding your hurt, you need to tell your partners how you teel, and trust them to be honest with you in return, you three may need to renegotiate the terms of your relationship, or even rethink the nature ot your commitment. It will probably hun. But you'll never heal unless you're prepared to undergo the necessary treatment. Good luck. Love, 4 / ) M

KIND SWPM, 36, TEDDYBEAR LOOKING FOR SWPF, 30-38, who is honest and sincere for friendship and quality times; also has a childish and playful side. 1401

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ABSOLUTELY AVERAGE IN APPEARANCE, physique, intelligence, humor a n d all else. Emotionally & financially comfortable SWPM, 4 3 , ISO SWF for dinner, noontime coffee rendezvous, movie, conversation. 1312

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GENUINE NICE GUY SEEKING OFFBEAT S/DWF for friend, companion, m a y b e LTR. Youthful 50s guy w h o prefers w o m e n a few years younger, not as round as tail. I'm 6', blue eyes, good kisser. 1402 IF YOU WANT ROMANTIC, SINCERE AND FUN, take a S W P M , 4 2 , ND/NA, fit active ISO feminine fun S/D/Ma(?)F. I have a place just for you in my heart. LTR. 1 4 0 6 IRISH M , 2 0 , SEEKS A PSYCHO F, 1 8 - 2 4 , FOR a psycho relationship. 1409 18, WILD BUT TAME LOOKING FOR S A M E SWF, NS, 18-24, for close, loving relationship. Must love sex. 1413 TALL, DARK A N D MAYBE H A N D S O M E D W M , 4 0 , built well, cap be dressed up, ISO confidant lover/best friend. Should be slim, 2 5 4 5 , D/SF. Possible white-picket fence. 1414 LOOKING FOR ROMANCE. S W P , DARK CURLY hair, blue eyes, 5 ' 7 " , busy and bashful, seeking attractive, positive, spontaneous w o m a n , 2 5 - 3 5 , with sense of h u m o r & beautiful smile. Let's talk. 1415 QUIET, SENSITIVE, NURTURING S P M , 3 3 , physician. Into camping & hiking. Seek younger SF with similar interests/qualities.

1212 SEEKING ADVENTUROUS PARTNER. D W M , 40s, 5 ' 9 " , 150 lbs., appealing, engaging, sexy, youthful, o p e n - m i n d e d , proportionate. Love to travel, laugh a n d create new possibilities. Into sunsets, photography, movies, love a n d whatever. 1 2 6 0 ROMANTIC S W P M , FUNNY, LOVING, FIT, enjoys dancing, biking, dining out, good conversation, walking, love letters. Seeking active, fit F, 3 5 - 4 5 to share same a n d lots more. 1320 WHEREFORE ART THOU? SM, 4 2 , fit, educated, sense of humor, seeks romance, passion, someone to confide in. Enjoy rock a n d blues, outdoors, movies, travel, time together. 1322 S M , 2 0 , OUTGOING, FRESH, WITTY, LIKES TO party, honest, sincere, ISO SWF, 18-22, for quality times, partying, sex a n d fun. 1325 M , 4 2 , LONG HAIR, BLUE, 5 ' i o " , 1 7 0 LBS., looking for w o m e n w h o enjoy outdoors, quiet bars, 4 - w h e e l drive a n d m a k i n g love while looking me in the eye. M a d River Valley. 1331 SLIGHTLY USED M ISO BEST FRIEND. WIT, humor, dining, dancing, exercise, water skiing, music, bicycle. Fixer-uppers encouraged to call. I'm 4 1 and 5*9". 1356 A M O S T KIND A N D TENDER MAN! Tall, educated, athletic, humorous S W M seeks attractive, articulate a n d unassuming SWF, 3 5 - 4 3 , NS, to share w a r m t h , whimsy a n d w i s d o m . 1361

S W M W H O IS SENSITIVE, KIND, SINCERE, romantic. Looking for SWF, 2 0 - 3 0 , w h o has similar interests, career-minded and gorgeous smile. 1313 IF Y O U CAN IMAGINE YOUR IDEAL LOVER AND soulmate, intuit that you might find him here. Kindly consider this in-shape, goodlooking S W P M w h o seeks a pretty w o m a n , 2 7 - 3 7 . for everything. 1316 TAKE A CHANCE. Genuinely kind DWM, 3 7 , of short stature, likes music, art, positive attitudes, many other interests. ISO open-minded, happy, easy-going, interestingly creative, humorous, petite lady, 2 7 - 3 7 , for companionship, fun times, possible LTR. 1240

GWF, ATTRACTIVE/HWP, ENJOYS ADVENTURE, home, horses, humor & more! You: playful, mature, femme-soft butch, stable, w / similar interests, mid-30s-40s. No bar scenes or drugs. 1507 NO CLOSER TO "DOROTHY" THAN TO "VENKMAN." Somewhere in the sand beneath their boots or entirely from another planet. Either way, outer space sucks alone a n d inhaling sand's harsh. SF, 20. 1502 GF, 2 3 , VEGETARIAN, LOVES ROADTRIPS, exploring, long walks, talks, laughs. You: GF, 20-31, no games... wants someone who's loving to hold hands with and stumble through life. 1261 CREATIVE, ADVENTUROUS WRITER LOVES friends, literary fiction, foreign films, jazz, NYC, long walks, other cultures. Hates formula fiction, muzak, suburbia, shopping. Seeks NS lesbian, 50+. No married or partnered w o m e n . 1190

I ' M 4 2 AND A NICE GUY LOOKING FOR someone special. I enjoy dancing, dining, ocean, almost everything. I do treat ladies with a touch of old-fashioned quality. 1245

NEW TO VT: GWF, 3 5 , NOT INTO BAR SCENE. Outdoors type with many interests, ISO GF friends, 3 2 - 3 7 . Help mend a broken heart. 1197

BERT THE CHIMNEY SWEEP SEEKS MARY POPPINS. Affectionate, gentle, creative, clever, witty wizard, 3 7 , ISO graceful, intellectual, magical musician. Bring your umbrella so w e can fly away together. 1246 VIRTUAL MAGICIAN LOOKING FOR LOVELY SWF assistant w h o w o u l d be willing to discuss mutual magical fantasies a n d would be kind-hearted and understanding if an illusion or two goes wrong. 1248 SUPERIOR-QUALITY HUMAN: D W M , 4 7 , humor, music, photography, original thinking, adventurous, fit father, high-spirited, intellectually challenging, quick-witted dullard imperfectly attaining excellence sometimes. Seeking pleasure only soulmate can provide.

1242

PRIOR TO M Y HECTIC LIFE N O W , I once made time for romance. Now it's time to prioritize all that (back into my life for good). 1251 SEASONED, SECURE AND DEPENDABLY energetic. Communicative, well-travelled, lean S W P M , 4 2 , is simply single. Intentionally open to kindling that special relationship with earthy, attractive, independent w o m a n of style a n d substance. 1253 JUMP ON MY HOOK. S W M , 2 4 , ISO REAL, responsible, honest, caring SF, 21-30, for life's adventures. I'm casting my line! 1151 S W M , 2 5 , ISO F RUNNING MATE, 19-32. I ' M 5 ' u " , 157 lbs., hazel eyes, ISO active F w h o likes to be fit, hikes, likes to talk, cuddle & have lots of fun w / life in general. 1152 ENGLISH, SHAGABLE STUD SEEKS W O M A N for fun, love a n d a great time, baby. 5 ' u " , 170 lbs., dark a n d handsome. 1153 S W M NUDIST LOOKING TO MEET 4 0 I S H F w h o enjoys people, the sun & outdoors, is open, honest & adventurous, to enjoy life. Minimal baggage—clothing a n d tan lines optional. 1192

W P C M , 3 7 , LOVER OF LIFE A N D ITS MANY blessings, seeks c o m p a n i o n w h o is able to see past the M . S . ISO WPCF, 3 0 - 4 0 , for friendship, possible LTR. One of the true nice guys... well-educated a n d good looking, too. You won't be disappointed. 1264

S W M , YOUNG-LOOKING 3 3 . INTERESTED IN m e e t i n g w o m a n who's secure, preferably older, for companionship, possible LTR. 1199

S W M , 3 9 , FAT, BALDING, ALCOHOLIC smoker, enjoys candle-light dinners (no electricity), long walks (no car), travel (hiding from psycho ex's), cuddling (no heat), the arts {Hustler magazine), educated (thru 5 t h grade). All replies answered. 1265

womm

RETRO COOL: interesting guy, very young 5 6 , artsy, litsy, moderately outdoorsy, sociable, broad cultural interests. ISO attractive, intelligent, kind w o m a n with open and resiliant heart, for friendship, romance, possible LTR. 124 1

DOES ANYONE K N O W WHAT LOVE IS? I'm 3 3 , tall, attractive, professional, high IQ, creative, sincere, relationship-oriented. If you're 2 5 - 3 2 , have a life, a n d do know, let's m e e t .

1363

Mckinq

W S M , 4 0 , LIKES OUTDOORS A N D NONmateriaiistic w o m e n , 3 0 - 4 5 . I'm hard-working, brown hair, green eyes, 165 lbs., med.small build a n d kind-hearted. Single mothers good. 1 2 0 0

M&kinq

Dykes ToWatch Out for

FUN-LOVING, INNOCENT CHILD INHABITING ROBUST,

Hiker's Guide to VT from

vital, DPWF, 55-YO body. Outgoing massage therapist, musician, NYC transplant finally ready for honest companionship, shared acceptance and passion. Only available need apply.

• T f e Outdoor Gear Exckarcp • used • closeout • new 191 Bank St., Burlington 860-0190

and a $25 gift certificate to THE DOG TEAM TAVERN Dog Team Rd., Middlebury 388-7651

LATE 20S, W M , ACTIVE, IN SHAPE. I'm a regular guy seeking same, under 35 YO, Would like to meet some cool, normal, masculine guys to hang with, i 4 8 6

ATTRACTIVE GUY SEEKS SAME: 23, 6', 155 lbs., brown hair, blue eyes, fit. Looking for short- or long-term. Likes outdoors, movies, music. Honesty a plus! 1259

BiWM, 2 8 , 5 ' 9 " , 155 LBS., BROWN HAIR 81 eyes, straight-acting & masculine, in great physical shape. Seeking another BiWM, 203 0 , for possible friendship and discreet, adult, fun times. 1516

G W M , 3 5 , 6 ' l " , 2 5 0 LBS., SHAVED HEAD, straight-acting, body hair, goatee. New to Burlington. ISO GWM, 18-30, up to 175 lbs., for fun and possible relationship. Call soon. 1267

CALLING KINDRED SOUL, CREATIVE, POSITIVE, roots brother. Athletic vegan, 27, earth spirit, whole, cosmic, into naughty role play. Let's trade air-cushioned shoes and walk/wrestle into the sun. Be true! 1512 LOVE W O M E N ' S CLOTHES. MAN LOOKING FOR men w h o w a n t to dess up for the holidays: heels, lingerie and long gowns. I'll cook dinner, champagne as we look good in our dresses. 1465

MaWBi-CURIOUS MALE: ATTRACTIVE, healthy, friendly and sensual. ISO someone similar to help me explore my more feminine side, through role-playing, a little cross-dressing, etc. Friendship would be nice, too. ND. 1303

GWPM, 5 ' 9 " . 155 LBS., 4 0 S , ISO MASCULINE M with romantic heart, 2 5 - 4 5 . Interests include music, movies, traveling, outdoors and more. Romance awaits. 1474 MAX ERNST SEEKS RENE MAGRITTE. I'd like to feel your brush strokes and see if we might not stick together. You bring the paint and I'll bring the glue, and let's make an assemblage. 1366 LONG WINTER COMING. Mature, masculine M seeks companionship with real men interested in travel, conversation, indoor sports, having sense of humor, feel for adventure a n d curiosity in sensual matters. 1367 BiWM, 50s, 5 ' 9 " , 2 2 0 LBS., MOSTLY TOP, ISO Bi/GMs for daytime fun and adult play. Clean & discreet. Come visit, let's see w h a t happens. Rutland area. Call me. 1400 ALPHABETIZED: BIKE RIDER, BISEXUAL, FILM fan, geek, hacker, liberal (duh), non-smoker, sci-fi nut, twenty-seven years old, will respond... guaranteed. 1404 G W P M , 3 8 , SEEKS MASCULINE G/Bi MALES in Ctrl. VT for friendship, possibly more. Sports, movies, outdoors a n d quiet nights at home. NS, casual drinkers preferred. Help me pass the winter. 1412 WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD MEN? BiWM, 4 6 , 5*io", 185 lbs., red hair, clean, discreet, D&D-free, looking for other BiWM, 18-46, D&D-free, for casual relationship. Burl. & Rutland areas. 1321

LEAVES FALL & THOUGHTS OF THIS FIFTH decader turn t o w a r d a fireplace a n d s n o w y walks in t h e w o o d s w i t h o n e w h o considers herself w a r m , attractive, sensual, o p e n , clear a n d progressive. 1 3 0 7

Personal of the Week receives a gift certificate for a FREE Day

SUBMISSIVE MALE, 3 7 , SEEKNG KINKY, stinky, ripe and raunchy, "in-charge" kind of guy. Can I please you? 1254

IN PRAISE OF OLDER MEN1 W M , attractive, slim, 50s, gentle, non-assuming, enjoys theater, arts, Sunday morns. ISO a wonderful tady or CU for adult fun & friendship. LTR possible. Slightly sub., Bi are +s for ladies.

1473

W P M , 3 0 S , LOOKING FOR Fs, CUs. I'm goodlooking, well-built, discreet, respectful. Looking for talk, coffee, erotic encounters, whatever. Call or write. Not into games. 1416 SBiF, 3 6 , INTO OPEN RELATONSHIPS, SEEKS W B i M or straight for fun a n d friendship. Available days, honest and sincere a must. 1357 WCU (F 2 6 , M 2 9 ) SEEKING ATTRACTIVE, clean BiFs, 18-29, f ° r some unforgettable nights of pleasure. Discretion assured and expected. 1360 S W M , 2 7 , GOOD-LOOKING. SEARCHING FOR F or Fs, 18-30, good-looking, for erotic encounters. Not looking for a relationship, just good sex!! 1324

S W M , 2 5 , ATHLETIC BUILD, OPEN-MINDED, ISO same F, CU, MaCU, 18-40, for a safe, sane, consensual, casual relationship. Discretion is assured. NS/NS. 1524 ARE YOU OLDER & FEELING BOLDER? Try some young and dark chocolate seeking the older experience from an artful teacher. Discretion assured a n d expected. Call me! 1518 LOOKING FOR S / D / M a W F FOR AN AMATEUR strip show. Must be clean, safe a n d discreet, 2 8 - 3 9 . 1519 ME FROM PLANET ZUZU, YOU WACKO WULU. Me w a n n a know you. You Zulu? Me lick you m u m u . 1487 S W M , Bi-CURIOUS, FIT, HEALTHY, ATTRACTIVE, 20, ISO CU or Fs that w h o w a n t to take this boy and see how much fun we can have. U never know until U try. 1460 WBiF, 2 7 , BLONDE, GREEN EYES, LIVING W / hot boyfriend (both very fit). The islands are calling, but w e survive (temporarily) in VT. ISO fun, fit, foxy BiF to share our La Vida Loca. 1480 AWESOME PLEASURE. B i W M SEEKS OTHER Bi or GMs to discover the stimulating a n d exciting, wonderful world of enemas a n d adult toys. All races welcome. 1391

ARE YOU LONELY? BETWEEN 21-60? WANT TO meet and see w h a t happens? Cut the tape a n d meet me at Gallagher's, Sunday night, and let's start something in Waitsfield. 1327 MaWCU, YOUNG, ATTRACTIVE & EAGER TO experience new things. Looking for a male w / similar qualities, plus a little something extra, to help fulfill fantasies. If you feel that you have that something extra, leave message. ND. 1304 B i W M , 5 ' 8 " , 150 LBS., 4 5 , SEEKS CU w / BiM for threesome. Must be clean, safe a n d discreet. 1310 HOUSEBOY TO C O M M A N D . YOU: HIP, D O M I NANT F. " M e n are toy things to use." Me: attractive W M , 4 0 , w e e k e n d houseboy to use —dishes, cleaning, massage. Let me massage your tired feet, m a d a m e . 1314 WHERE ART THOU, M Y TRANSGENDERED goddess? S W M , 3 8 , easy-going a n d open heart ISO special lady w h o will share her passion, aspirations a n d all the joyful gifts of life. Ctrl. VT. 1315 DO I DARE TO EAT A PEACH? SPF, 2 7 , strong, adventurous, reflective a n d out-spoken ISO edifying fire. Long for intelligent, witty, passionate conversation, perhaps more. Be 274 5 , M or F, NS. 1256

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to respond to a personal ad call I-900-370-7127 we're M e n 2 irs $1.99 a minute, must be 18 or older.

11/21, BY THE LAKE. You: green jacket, nice "goat." Me: braids, Carhartts. Was that Champ we saw? I really enjoyed our conversation. How about some snobbish coffee and Nina Simone. 1517

fyasmdA MONTPELIER AREA PM, 40S, SEEKING FIT, equipped, adventurous M or F partner for back-country skiing along sections of Catamount and Long Trail, weekends and holidays this winter. 1467

YOU BOUGHT A NEW YORKER AT THE CHEESE Outlet, 11/28. Me: little New Yorker in VT for the holidays. Our eyes met! You drove off in a red car. Free? 1520 GLENN, JP'S, 12/1: Vou sang my favorite Elton John song so beautifully. I wanted to say hello, but I was playing pool and you disappeared. Interested in talking sometime? 1485 I SEE YOU IN THE MIRROR AT NIGHT, IN THE morning, and afternoon. You entrance me w/ your dark, passionate eyes. My knees grow weak w/ lust just gazing upon your supreme countenance. 1489 TO THE INSANE GODDESS I SAW AT THE NEEDS: Will you please talk to me? I'm the one with alien in my head, can you help me? 1490

11/28, METRONOME. You: stunning, tall, darkhaired, by stage and outside. Me: dancing near window. We exchanged looks; I should have talked to you. Is it too late? 1457

ADAM, THURSDAY NIGHT, DANCING AT Nectar's, Yankees/Red Sox game, women in the office listen to country. I had fun, did you? 1405 ITS NOT JUST THE BOOTS, BABY. Beth: good hug, happy birthday, Red Square. Wanna read Gray's Anatomy together? Or maybe just go to a movie? M. 1408

NICE GRETSCH...WAS IT A '67? Lyin' Cheatin' Broken-Hearted band guitar-player man. Need a hot-rod drivin' Rockafilly pen pal?

ATTENTION TOM, TECHNICIAN AT FLETCHER Allen: I came in 11/7. You held my hand and brought me to CAT scan. Me: dark hair, needed IV. You made me laugh. Interested? 1410

11/22, MON., STATE HOUSE STEPS: You were waiting for someone. I was being photographed. We talked about Montpelier. You were beautiful. Would love to talk again.

JIM: TOO COLD FOR ANOTHER INNING OF baseball, but not too late to get together again. A year is much too long! Let's have a rematch. Fireman's friend. 1411

1469

LP, THE MOON WAS FULL, BUT THE BED WAS empty. I was lonely. Come back. I have the ice cream. Rdish. 1479 SWIMMER AT FIRST IN FITNESS, 11/10, 8:30 p.m. You: WWR cap. Me: WWR cap, next lane. Want to swim together sometime? 1364 YOU LOOK EASTERN EUROPEAN, STUNNING. dark hair pulled back, black outfit. I am slim, tall, white sweater, blue jacket. Crossing Church St., our eyes met, your features softened. 11/13. 1403 I'M LOOKING FOR CONTACT WITH "LETTERS Only" #s 622 and 627. Your ads were gone before I could respond, but I'm still very interested. Please contact me. I'm extremely curious. 1393

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To respond to Letters Only ads:

Seal your response in an envelope, write box # on the outside and place in another envelope with $5 for each response. Address to: PERSON TO PERSON c/o SEVEN DAYS. P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402

DWF, 52, LOVES SOCIABILITY, INTIMACY, solitude, art, music, dancing, movies, woods, water, gardens, books. Renoiresque figure about 30 lbs. too ample for contemporary fashion. Seeking warm-hearted M friend. Box

654

QUALITIES WORTH MORE THAN ANY AMOUNT of money from attractive, in-shape PWF, young 50s, in exchange for financial security with special, warm, loving, intellectual man. Let's share life's journey. Box 652 RED HEAD, 5 7 " , 140 LBS., SWF, 32, photographer/writer, adventuresome, ultra fit, sharp wit, diabolical sense of humor seeking friendship, fun and winter sports with other high-energy lions, 27-4oish. Box 648 SWF, 52, CANCER/SAGITTARIUS, 5'8", SIZE 18, NS, ND, offbeat, creative, utilitarian, musical, books, museums, concerts, animals, long walks, ticklish, fanciful. Enjoys Bach to rock, dancing. ISO soul mate, tall, sweet, masculine guy. Box 643

DWPF, 49, 5'3", 110 LBS, SEEKS ENERGETIC Ms to cruise the tress and moguls with. Leave past lives behind and have some fun with me. You wouldn't normally answer any ad. Go for it! Box 637 COUNTRY WOMAN, INDEPENDENT, WITH varied skills and interests, seeking urban M, 5565, with same for shared travel, adventure and romance. What are you wishing for? Box 634 SWPF, 33, 5'2", 110 LBS, LONG NATURALblond hair, blue eyes, educated, passionate, work hard/play hard, love animals. Will you hike, bike, Rollerblade, ski, camp, cook, read, talk with me? Send photo. Box 630 SWF, 49, FRISKY, EDUCATED, CONTEMPLATIVE, seeking artist/monk/mountain man. Love Merton, Picasso, dogs. Value intelligence, integrity, compassion, simplicity, zaniness, passion. Box 632 RED WINE, LADYBUGS, DAISIES, OLD MOVIES, walks and good conversation. 5'7", mid-40's SWPF NS. Artistic, wide variety of interests. Intelligent, passionate, financially secure, sense of humor. Seeking similar gentleman for LTR. Box 633 THOUGHTFUL, FIT, WELL-EDUCATED DPF, 49, seeking companion to share hikes, runs, laughter, music, books, ideas. My nest is emptying and it's time to move on. Box 629

SYMPATICO, INTELLIGENT, LEFT-LEANING F, fit for indoors & outdoors, seeks similar, unattached M companion, 40+, for food, film, conversation, serious piffle & possible LTR. No narcissists need apply. Box 639

SWPM, 29, LOW MILES, BIT SHY, SEEKS intelligent, sensitive SWF, 25-30, for nourishing conversation/adventure. My hats: cyclist, poet, simple lifer, Big Question dreamer, and a winter cap. Photo appreciated. Box 655 AQUARIUS? BEAUTIFUL (INSIDE & OUT)? I could sure use a friend w/ big hugs! Handsome WM, 51, self-suppportive, physically fit, desires woman by day, lady by night! No children, please. Box 656 SEEKING SUMBISSIVE F, 23-35, INTO B&D by dark M. Limits respected w/ tender, loving care. Casual or LTR. Also: dinners, moonlight walks, wine. Box 657 VERMONT PRISONER IN NJ, 43, SWM, UVM grad looking for friendship and romance. Home in 2001. Warm, affectionate pen pal and companion. Let's share hopes and future dreams together. Box 651 MY TRACTOR IS SEXY. SWM, 49, 5 ' n " , 170 lbs., fit, good-looking, ambitious, hard-working, NS, NS, NA, likes big equipment, animals, hiking. Seeks attractive, fit, healthy, ambitious, sexy F for LTR. 4 0 YO SPM IN DENIAL, ATHLETIC, MASTER of repression, self-centered, loner type w/ big heart ISO hardy New Englander who loves starlight, chilly nights and contemplating life's sweet beauty. Box 650 MID-LIFE CRISIS LOOMS. KIND, HEALTHY, reasonably attractive SWM, 5*6", 155 lbs., craves the rejuvenating attentions of a compassionate/passionate young F. Box 644

LOOKING FOR LOIS LANE TO ENJOY SUPERMAN adventures. You: F, 25-32, fit, NS, educated, no baggage. Me: 6', 32, 175 lbs., blue eyes. A dream come true... Box 645 SWM, 35, SEEKING FULL-FIGURED & PLUSsize women who like to do fun things. This M will make sure you feel wanted and totally pleased. I am for real! Box 646 ACTIVE, PROSPEROUS, WELL-EDUCATED, jewish, intellectual, 50s, trying to meet lighthearted, warm, intelligent, sensual women. I am open to any age or background. Intrinsic, engaging qualities are the heart of the matter. Box 647 PROFESSIONAL, 31, 5 ' 6 \ 140 LBS., GOODlooking, athletic, hard-working SWM ISO SWPF w/o children, NS, open-minded, who likes sports, movies, travels and to have fun. For LTR. Box 641 GAELIC MYSTIC: attractive, intelligent, vivacious, compassionate, green-eyed ecowoman sought. Adirondack ecoradical, SOH, handsome, passionate, steel sculptor, seeks kindred spirit, 37ish, needing wilds, dreams, home, romance, uplifting endeavors. Box 642 LETS REINVENT HAPPY TIMES! 70 YO widower, 5 ' n " , 185 lbs., sense of humor, enjoy life & all worthwhile pursuits. Looking for a lady with similar qualities for friendship. Box 636 TALL, FIT DWM, MID-40S, PRO PHOTOGRAPHER, seeks tall, fit PWF, under 40. & knows who she is, for dates, possible LTR. Prefer Ctrl, or NE VT areas. Box 631

GWF LOOKING FOR SOMEONE IN THEIR MID305 to enjoy life with, because life is too short, and it would be nice to have someone special to share it with. Box 638 Bi-CURIOUS WF, 23, LOOKING FOR SOME fun and frolic. ISo BiF, 20-30, who is intelligent, attractive and discreet. Herb friendly. Come play with me. Box 627

mmMvJunqnwi GMCU LOOKING TO MEET NEW FRIENDS FOR dinners, going out, playing cards and other fun things to do. Both of us in our 30s. Please write us. Box 615

jatfm SWM, 22, ATTRACTIVE, HORNY, KINKY ISO horny, kinky F, 18-60, who likes to wear French-maid uniforms, garter belts, sexy stockings, strap-ons for erotic adult fun. Will answer all. Box 649 DWPM, MID-50S, EXCELLENT WORKING condition (phys., emot., finan.), seeking older F, buxom & ravenesque, for occasional gentle, intimate encounters. Note & photo appreciated. Box 6 4 0 CU (F, 2 2 & M, 30) ISO EROTIC BiF TO pleasure our needs. F, 22 — first time. M/F threesome. Show us the way to happiness. Any exhibitionist out there? Box 635

4 digit box numbers can be contacted either through voice mail or by letter. 3 digit box numbers can only be contacted by letter. Send letter along w/ $5 to PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402 LOVE IN CYBERSPACE. POINT YOUR WEB BROWSER TO HTTP://WWW.SEVENDAYSVT.COM TO SUBMIT YOUR MESSAGE ON-LINE. How to place your l-Ktt personal ad with Person to Person • F I L L OUT T H I S FORM A N D MAIL IT TO: P E R S O N A L S , P . O . B o x 1 1 6 4 , B U R L I N G T O N , V T 0 5 4 0 2 OR FAX TO 8 0 2 . 8 6 5 . 1 0 1 5 . P L E A S E C I R C L E A P P R O P R I A T E C A T E G O R Y , Y O U W I L L R E C E I V E Y O U R BOX # & P A S S C O D E BY MAIL. D E A D L I N E : F R I D A Y S AT N O O N . • F I R S T 3 0 W O R D S A R E F R E E W I T H P E R S O N T O P E R S O N , A D D I T I O N A L W O R D S A R E $ 2 E A C H EXTRA W O R D . • F R E E R E T R I E V A L 2 4 H O U R S A DAY T H R O U G H T H E P R I V A T E 8 0 0 # . ( D E T A I L S W I L L B E M A I L E D T O YOU W H E N YOU P L A C E Y O U R A D . ) I T ' S S A F E , C O N F I D E N T I A L A N D F U N !

How to respond to a personal ad: C H O O S E YOUR F A V O R I T E A D S A N D N O T E T H E I R BOX N U M B E R S . • C A L L 1 - 9 0 0 - 3 7 0 - 7 1 2 7 FROM A TOUCH-TONE P H O N E . 1 - 9 0 0 # BLOCK? C A L L 1 - 8 0 0 - 7 1 0 - 8 7 2 7 .

Confidential Information ( W E N E E D T H I S TO R U N Y O U R

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P L E A S E , A V A L I D ADDRESS, A N D PLEASE WRITE CLEARLY.

* I F AD EXCEEDS 3 Q WORDS, S E N D $ 2 PER EXTRA WORD. DOES NOT INVESTIGATE OR ;ONSIBILITY FOR CLAIMS MADE IN - ADVERTISEMENT. THE SCREENING OF RESPONDENTS IS SOLELY THEPONSJB'LITV OF THDVERTIS ER_._ACCEPT S_EVE!_NRESPONSIBILITY DAYS ASSUMES RESJ>ONSjBILlTY,FpR_T^E CONTENT orj OR «ur-i_J ANY PERSON TO PERSON "•n't .-W.-..I.™, "r, COMPLETE LABILITY' FOR THE AN. ALJrvnRESULTING CLAIMS MADE AGAINST S E V E N AYS THAT REASONABLE ARISE FROM THE SAME. 'SU FURTHER, THEASSUME ADVERTISER AGREES TO INDEMNIFY RTHER, THE ADVERTISER"AGREES S E V E N D A Y S HARMLESS FROM ALL COST, EXPENSES NCLUDING ATTORNEY' FEES), LIABILITIES DAMAGES FROMDORHOLD CAUSED BYV0iCE~Mi5sAaE A PERSON TO PERSON ADVERTISEMENT AND VOICE MESSAGES PLACED BY THE ADVERTISERS, OR ANY REPLY TOANDA PERsSN T0RESULTING PERS0N ADVER7lSEMENT ASD' GUIDELINES:

FREE PERSONAL ADS ARE AVAILABLE FOR PEOPLE SEEKING RELATIONSHIPS ADS SEEKING To BUY OH set L CFytJAI RESERVE^'VH'E^RIGH''^TO ECH^ORGRE1fUSE ANY A*D?^ou MUST^BE A^LEAJ^^'^^^^^^^P^G^

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pairing

wines!

...for g i f t s and p a r t i e s ! GRAFTON CHEDDARS - 8 0 Z . WAXED BARS, SHARP - AGED 1 YEAR EXTRA SHARP - AGED 2 YEARS GRAFTON RESERVE - AGED 3 YEARS

PERFECT

FOR

GIFT-GIVING

$3.49 $ 3 . 9 9

$5.49

From V e r m o n t B u t t e r & Cheese Co. — t o r t a s are w o n d e r f u l f o r h o l i d a y p a r t i e s : torta w i t h basil & p i n e n u t s , layered with creamy goat cheese torta with smoked salmon layered with creamy goat cheese

to I

e< r

y I n b e t w e e n p a r t i e s , y o u ' v e s t i l l g o t t a eat the r e g u l a r s t u f f ! OUR

REGULAR

LOW

NATURAL OLD

SEA

WESSEX

AFTER

CHUNK IRISH

LIGHT

STYLE

TUNA

OATMEAL

0Z.

18.5

0Z.

THE FALL 3 U I C E 3 2 0 Z . 2 4 KARR0T, GEORGIA PEACH, MANGO MONTAGE, S P E C I A L H A R V E S T P E A R , OREGON BERRY

ONCE A G A I N CM

ORGANIC ALMOND

CRUZ •

SANTA

ENRICO'S

ORGANIC

SALSAS

—

BUTTER,

APPLE MILD

SPECTRUM

ORGANIC

uAuiMeAtlmtubes

EXTRA

CRUNCHY

SAUCES — A L L HOT

L I T T L E BEAR O R G A N I C T O R T I L L A YELLOW SALTED 1 6 OZ. BLUE SALTED 1 6 OZ.

N e v w

6.5

VIRGIN

OR S M O O T H

FLAVORS

OZ.

PRICE

SALE PRICE

$1.49

$1.19

$2.49

$1.79

$2.79

$1.89

$$88. .6699

$4. 49

$2.99

$ 2 . 19

$2.29 $3.49

$1. 99 $2. 39

$14.99

$8. 99

o o

CHIPS

OLIVE

OIL

t k & j w w w

25.4

o f

OZ.

H e a l t h y

L u / u t g .

NATURAL FOODS MARKET

4 Market Street South Burlington • 8 0 2 - 8 6 3 - 2 5 6 9 - Monday - Saturday 8 - 8 • Sunday 11-6 • www.healthylivingmarket.com