Seven Days, April 28, 1999 by Seven Days

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Tax breaks are the name o f the game in economic development but is the state getting its money's worth? By Bryan Pfeiffer............................................. page 8

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A discrim ination charge a t Mount M ansfield High School raises hard questions about hom osexuality By Ruth Horowitz..................................................page12

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HYDE PARK’S TWILIGHT ZONE

ime them? Summer, Fall, Spring, nter and Mud. — Lisa Vinick Administrative Asst., Helen Day Art Center Morrisville

Cosmos, Phoebe and Lander. — Kathy Bouton Manager, Peace & Justice Store Burlington

■

Thank you for the “on the money” article about the problems we are having in the town of Hyde Park [“A Town Divided,” April 14]. Your article quoted someone as say ing that the town is like a “Peyton Place.” To me it seems more like a “Twilight Zone,” in which School Board Directors work both willfully and illegally for various specialinterest groups within the town. Where a community member, who is one of the instigators of the effort to drive the much loved and loyal teaching staff out of the school, stormed into the local market which was distributing your paper and attempted to confiscate the remaining copies. When the propri etor refused to hand them over, she tried to physically take them — from a man in a wheelchair! When still unsuccessful, she called the stores landlord to try to pressure him to pull the papers. Then she even threatened to have all her friends boycott the store. Your article about our town has put in print what many pro-educa tion Hyde Parkers have been saying for a long time. There is a conspira cy by a group of arrogant, selfappointed know-it-alls who will apparently stop at nothing to impose their will on the parents and children of our town. I would like to thank you for the courage of Mr. Lines and the conviction of your paper, and for your help in putting a microscope on the actions of this group. Perhaps now the powers that be in the state will take a longer look at Hyde Park and give us the help that the students and their teachers deserve. — Peter E. Nelle Hyde Park

been the object of this powerful groups wrath because of our defense of our children, our school and the former principal. It was such a great feeling reading your article and knowing that the things we know have been happening in Hyde Park were finally investigated and put into print. Hats off to a great a article! It’s great to know that we are not out here alone. — M artha Mullins Hyde Park

munity, with open minds, ready to listen, understand and find some common ground to settle what is an extremely disturbing situation. We need to keep this in perspective. Keep the future of this community in your mind and hearts! THAT IS OUR CHILDREN! We are sup posed to be adults — let’s act that way! — Jean Santa Maria Hyde Park

LET’S WORK TOGETHER

As a resident of Hyde Park, I sincerely thank you for the well researched article concerning our school [“A Town Divided,” April 14]. As you may or may not have heard, a faction in the town, which David Lines so accurately por trayed, tried this week to censor people’s ability to obtain your paper in a local store. They resorted to intimidation and threats of retalia tion should the market continue to have Seven Days available. I think that this type of behavior is so indicative of the chasm in the town, and would like to see more report ing from Mr. Lines regarding this issue. Again, thank you for your interest and research of this story.

I am quite overwhelmed with the article on the division in the town of Hyde Park [“A Town Divided,” April 14]. I commend you and your reporter on a job well done. Seeing the facts in black and white, it is not a pretty picture. I have always known the truth hurts. I honesdy believe the things that have happened over the past several years have been the result of what is believed is in the best interest of the school and the community and, of course, the bottom line — TAXES. The results do not show that has happened. The elementary school, which had an enrollment of 300 students three years ago, is now attended by 248 students. According to Tony Lamb, the attorney for the school board, another 6 percent have applied to withdraw next year and another 10 to 13 percent will attend the local parochial school in Morrisville. THAT IS 33 PER CENT LESS IN FOUR YEARS! This alone should speak for how the parents of the town feel about the current situation at the school. The teachers are the same as they were five years ago — dedicated, loving educators. That is what every parent should want for their chil dren! I have two daughters who graduated from what was an excel lent school. I hope everyone involved, even remotely, attended the meeting on Sunday night, and every meeting thereafter — school board meet ings, “healing meetings” — all of them! Let’s work together as a com

W E ARE N O T ALONE Thank you so much for your article on “A Town Divided” [April 14]. It was so good to see in print some of the problems that many of us in Hyde Park have been dealing with for years. O ur family went through many rough years, and has

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— Keith Martin Hyde Park KOSOVO COM M ENTS It’s absolutely amazing to me that a professor from the Russian Department at Middlebury College would complain about Peter Kurtn’s pronunciation of Kosovo [Kevin Moss, Mail, 4/21/99], “presumably for political reasons.” If that’s not tantalizing enough, Peter himself informs us that “in WWII Hitlers armies failed to defeat the Serbs.” Wow! This, my friends, is 99.99 percent of the public debate in Burlington about the war during the last four weeks! I am tempted to add something about the two or so million Serbs killed by the Croats in 1941, and even suggest that the recent school massacre in Colorado is exactly what Serbs have been putting up with from the KLA in Kosovo since 1987. What the heck,

C o m Y o u r

why spoil such a perfect Idyll? O n the other h and.. .There are very large discrepancies between what has really happened in Kosovo during the last 50 years and the Adminstration and State Department’s characterization of events there. Under Tito, Yugoslavia devoted a very large proportion of its national income to the economic development of Kosovo and treated the political rights of the Albanian majority with considerable generosi ty Up to the commencement of the present bombing campaign, there does not seem to have been any deliberate policy of “ethnic cleansing” by the Serbs against the Albanians. On the contrary, Albanian triumphalism against the Serbian minority in Kosovo seems to have been the primary cause of the rise of Milosevic and Serbian nationalism. Serb families who have lived in Kosovo for generations have been harassed, beaten, murdered and driven from their lands without compensation. Furthermore, the policies of the autonomous govern ment of Kosovo have led to degredation of both the natural and social environments of that region. The justifications of our Administration and its NATO allies for its present course of action seem to me completely external to the sit uation and events in Kosovo itself, and thus unlikely ever to bring either Milosevic or a majority of the people of Serbia to the negotiating table. Their present course of action may only serve to exacerbate con flict in the Balkans for many decades to come. — John Shaplin Burlington Letters P o licy: SEVEN DAYS wants your rants and raves, in 2 5 0 words or less. Letters are only accepted that respond to content in Seven Days. Include your full name and a daytime phone number and send to: SEVEN DAYS, P.0. Box 1 1 6 4 , Burling ton, VT 0 5 4 0 2 -1 1 6 4 . fax: 8 6 5 -1 0 1 5 e-mail: sevenday@together.net

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O n the W G O P .. .sorry.. .WCAX airwaves Monday evening, Professor Miller’s vitriolic I don’t know about you, but I’m afraid. condemnation of Bernie Sanders as “the worst Absolutely, positively frightened. You know the of political opportunists,” was a real ear-burn feeling? That dreaded tightness in the gut. The er. Most people considered Will and Bernie to one that floats up to tweak the brain’s sense of be on the same side. Once they were. Not any time just enough so that life starts passing in more. slow-motion frames. That’s life these days. One of Monday’s great ironies was Sanders’ The images of the forced Albanian exodus staffer Phil Fiermonte being taunted by a fel from Kosovo, the bridges across the Blue low co-defendant from the Winooski 44 Danube all falling down, and the Trench Coat protest of yore. Both were arrested for unlawful Mafia’s real-life video game are turning me trespass and later acquitted in the 1984 inside out. If you think you’re going mad takeover of Sen. Robert Stafford’s office. Back because you find yourself crying while watch then the issue was U.S. ing the evening news, you are imperialism in Central not alone. Actually, it’s perfectly America. “normal” behavior in these sud Vermont’s independent denly dark days of spring as a socialist, Miller charges, has story of teenage insanity bumps “turned into an imperialist.” a story of grown-up insanity The guy who used to be a from the top of the world news critic of U.S. policy in reports. Central America has sold Just when you’re finally get out, says Miller. “W hat hap ting over the fear of the whole pened is, Bernie became a world wiped out by a monster Democrat.” bug called Y2K, NATO decides Meanwhile, Sanders still it’s time for war games in hasn’t made up his mind Yugoslavia. And just when it about taking on Jim Jeffords starts to sink in that the war in the 2000 U.S. Senate games aren’t games at all, the campaign. You can bet that Columbine killers blast away at Jeffords sure wishes the pro a Colorado high school that testers had chosen his office bears the name of a prairie for their arrest instead of flower so beautiful its petals are Bernie’s. Can’t win ’em all. compared to the wings of a Speaking of Democrats — dove. The dust is slowly settling It actually brought a tiny from a recent public dust-up sense of relief to see the little between two Democrat state rag-tag band of demonstrators B Y P E T E R F R E Y N E senators. It occurred on a marching down the hill recent “Switchboard” on Vermont Public Monday from Universitas Viridis M onth, aka Radio. Bob Kinzel’s guests were Sens. Peter the University of Vermont. And sprinkled Shumlin (D-Windham), the senate president, among the younger protesters were a couple of and John Bloomer (R-Rutland), the minority older ones: Dave Dellinger and UVM philoso leader. phy professor Will Miller, who are old hands About the sixth caller was a “Jean from St. at these things, and St. Michael’s poetry profes George.” Sen. Jean Ankeney (D-Chittenden) sor Greg Delanty, who isn’t. tells Inside Track she was “disturbed” with Sen. Old timers, professors and poets. Damn Shumlin’s support for tax cuts while ignoring intellectuals. Isn’t that always how it starts? child care. “We know now,” she says, “these are Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, the most important years in which to invest The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere and get the job done.” Ankeney’s got a bill that The ceremony o f innocence is drowned; would establish a state training program for The best lack all conviction, while the worst child care workers and pay them more than Are fu ll o f passionate intensity. burger flippers. But Shumlin says they just — W.B. Yeats, “The Second Coming,” 1920 can’t find the $7 million to fund it. Shummy also doesn’t like getting “ambushed” by a fellow The passionate intensity was certainly on Democrat on live statewide radio. hand Monday. Ch. 3 will forever cherish the So Shummy Dog, the top dog in the footage of one young man attempting to torch Vermont senate, tells Majority Leader Dick the Stars and Stripes out in front the offices of McCormack (D-Windsor) that it sure would St. Patrick Leahy — and incidentally, Merrill be nice if members of the Democratic caucus Lynch, the IRS, the INS, Kinko’s and Downs refrained from “shooting at each other in pub Rachlin & Martin — a clip we’re likely to see lic.” Shumlin told McCormack to discipline broadcast again and again. The flag, by the Liberal Granny, who celebrates her 77th birth way, didn’t burn. The young man was persuad day this Thursday. ed to put the lighter away, says Delanty. McCormack obliged and sent Ankeney a Besides, it was pretty windy. disciplinary memo in which he informed her Greg Delanty, an acclaimed published poet, he’d been “asked by Shumlin to lecture you was arrested for the very first time in his life sternly about party solidarity and keeping it in Monday evening inside Congressman Bernie the family.” Unfortunately, says Mighty Mac, Sanders’ office. But he says he’s always voted Gov. Howard Dean and Sen. Peter the Great for Bernie and will continue to. He wishes regularly bash fellow Democrats in public. In there could have been civil disobedience at all fact, he says, based on what he heard on the three congressional offices, he says, but not radio, Sen. Shumlin “appears to be running for enough people turned out to fill the ranks. . something by running against Madeleine C'est la vie. Kunin.” The native of Cork City, Ireland, now a He’s right. Shumlin is running for some naturalized U.S. citizen, says he just had to do thing and the former Democrat governor is something. “I feel very strongly about this. The one of his favorite targets. Shummy knocks war is going to get worse,” he says. “This is my Queen Madeleine for her non-sustainable way of saying I don’t agree with this. There spending that lead to a whopping state deficit. have to be ways to communicate without Bad boy. killing people.” “Is it a secret that 10 years ago the governor At present, the Internet appears to be the and the legislature made mistakes?” asks Peter best way to communicate about the war in the Great. “I mean, what world have these folks been living in?” Shummy portrays Yugoslavia. Check out Professor Miller’s home page at www.uvm.edu/^wmiller. It offers infor Ankeney and McCormack as members of “a small left-wing fringe that loses its sanity mation links and a point o f view you don’t see whenever you talk about cutting the income in the U.S. press. Propaganda clogs the air tax. waves and newspapers on both sides. “That’s moderates for you,” counters Information, right now, is a commodity in McCormack. “If you don’t go along with them extremely short supply. The Internet, says they portray you as an extremist.” 0 Miller, is the way around it.

So How You Feeling?

Inside Track

I Curses, Foiled Again During his first day on the job as a state police dispatcher in Bridgeport, Connecticut, Gregory Zeoli, 23, was being trained to use a computer sys tem that contains records of outstanding arrest warrants. He typed in his own name, and the system immediately identified him as being wanted on a charge o f passing bad checks. After Zeoli was arrest ed on the spot, state police Lt. Ralph Carpenter said, “You'd think he would have known.” • W hen Kenneth Starks, 37, showed up at a Philadelphia garage to case it for a stickup, he was wearing a bright gold coat and spoke to worker Frank Castaldi before leaving. A few minutes later, Starks returned with a mask over his face but still wearing the dis tinctive coat. Castaldi recog nized him, but Starks pointed a gun at him and robbed him. He also stole a car from the garage but neglected to put a license plate on it. A few days later, police stopped the stolen car and arrested Starks, who was convicted of this and a second crime. In the other incident, Starks dropped his identification while robbing a 51-year-old man, according to Assistant District Attorney

Joanne Pescatore, who declared, “Starks is certainly not a rocket scientist.” • A masked gunman who held up a Pizza Hut in Fairfax County, Virginia, neglected to disguise his voice, and the manager recognized him as a 17-year-old employee of the store. The robber entered the store after it had closed when another employee, Christopher Gunn, 19, unlocked the door to leave. The gunman hit the manager over the head, grabbed cash and fled. After the manager had been taken to the hospital, police

inves tigators were questioning Gunn and noting discrepan cies in his story, when the 17year-old suspect arrived to pick up Gunn. Police arrested him and Gunn.

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Worst-Case Scenario Donald Podzka, 48, was driving with a suspended license after four drunken dri ving convictions when he plowed into a car driven by Barbara Harrington in Wareham, Massachusetts. Harrington, the state executive director of Mothers Against Drunk Driving, was on her way home from a MADD meeting. Podzka was immediately arrested. The Boston Herald reported that his blood-alcohol level was more than twice the legal limit. Police found four cans of beer near his car, two of them open, and a witness said he saw Podzka frantically hurling beer cans into the woods immediately after the crash.

Way to Go An unemployed 52-year-

old man from Hanover, Germany, who won $2.2 mil lion in the state lottery four years ago, drank himself to death, according to the Bild newspaper. The man, celebrat ed in the popular press as “Lotto Lothar,” died in March from cirrhosis of the liver. His marriage had broken down, but his wife was at his bedside when he died and inherits $1 million. • British school teacher Barbara Rock, 54, lost her bal ance and fell while trying to get rid of a cobweb. After being treated at the hospital for back and pelvis injuries, she returned to her London home. While doing step exer cises on a box as therapy for her injuries, she fell out of a first-floor window, suffered serious head injuries and was taken to the hospital, where she died.

Turnabout Is Fair Play David Haines quit his job as Australia’s longest-serving film censor to make erotic films, beginning with Buffy Goes Down Under. Explaining that after watching so many porn films over the years he knew he could do better, Haines told the London Times the work is enjoyable and

financially rewarding. In addi tion, he has a distinct advan tage over other porn produc ers: He knows exactly how far to go.

Something to Say Deaf-mute Truong Van Xa, 32, was being treated for a foot abcess at the Binh Dinh provincial hospital. Dr. Vo Thanh Nhan administered a local anesthetic, but when he made an incision, Xa spoke his first words, screaming that the cut caused him pain. Agence France-Press reported that his vocabulary has expanded since the January incident.

Suspicions Confirmed The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced that West Virginia leads the nation in toothless ness. Almost half the people over 65 — 47.9 percent, to be exact — have lost all their teeth, according to CDC researchers. Washington state had the lowest rate, with only 21.5 percent of elderly people reporting having lost all their teeth. Overall, researchers said, tooth loss was greatest among blacks, the uninsured, people 1 with less than a high school education, and smokers. ®

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May 29 First & Fitness* Chris Gale: 223-6161

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BURLINGTON

KILLINGTON

June 5 Burlington Parks & Recreation* Pete Selikowitz: 864-0123

June 1,3,19 Sherburne Parks & Recreation Elizabeth Ambuhl: 422-3932

May 22 Georgia Recreation* PJ Laporte: 527-2825 May 22 Collins Perley Sports Center* Tim Viens: 527-1202

CHARLOTTE

MIDDLEBURY

June 12 Charlotte Recreation Amy Cluff: 425-3094

June 5, 26 & July 24 Middlebury Recreation Alex Davydov: 388-4041

COLCHESTER

MILTON

June 5, 8,12,16 Colchester Parks & Recreation * Bill Kohlasch: 655-0822

June 5, 8 Milton Recreation* Dan Bonfigli: 893-4922

EAST MONTPELIER

MONTPELIER

June 5 2 Barn Tennis Center* Paul Dayton: 229-4172

May 15 Montpelier Recreation* Wendy Watson: 223-7971

ESSEX

Clothes for Men & Women In the Cornerstone Building @ Battery and Main S t New Hours Beginning May isfc Weekdays 10-7 , Sundays Noon-5, 865-7910

N ear

May 8 Racquet's Edge* Dan Bonfigli: 879-7734, x2 June 12 Essex Junction Parks & Recreation * Dann Vandervleet: 878-6944 June 12 Essex Town Recreation* Janet Post: 878-1342

May 22 St. Albans Recreation* Michael Boulerice: 524-1519 SHELBURNE

May 29, 30 Shelburne Parks & Recreation Glen Zuptipta: 985-9551 SOUTH BURLINGTON

May 15 Twin Oaks* John Burgstrom: 658-0001 June 12 South Burlington Recreation Sue Vaughn: 658-7956 WILUSTON

* U S A * ITENNISI

June 5, 8 Williston Recreation* Kelly Smith: 878-1239 WINOOSKI

May 18, 20, 22, 26 Winooski Parks & Recreation* Bob Dimasi: 655-6860

Each participant is asked to take only one free lesson during May & June.

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house slated for salvation in Vermont is the Knights of Columbus Hall on Merchants Row. A group of citizens, working in conjunction with the Middlebury Community Players, has already convened a design committee to get working on the Town Hall Theater. “We want to return it to what it was,” Joann Langrock says of the exterior renovation goals for the 1883 Clinton Smith building. The inside, which has been altered significantly over the years, will house offices and a stateof-the-art black-box theater that will seat 400. As for that multimillion-dollar facility down the road... Locals can attend, but not stage, events at the Middlebury College Center for the Arts. “Once we have time lines and dollar figures, we will move for ward,” Langrock says. She hopes the Friday night opening of Three Postcards sends all the right messages to the audience.

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SO LONG, PARDNER: One of the most fruitful business partner ships in the Vermont cultural community will come to an end next month when Gary Ireland leaves the Savoy Theater in Montpelier for greener pastures in Seattle. For nearly 20 years, Ireland has tended the business and administrative end of the art house — no doubt a scary proposition at times — while Rick Winston handled the booking and marketing of the movies. “It is very sad, of course,” Winston says. “Gary has put the stamp of his personality on the theater...over the years.” Long-time arts organizer Chris Wood will take up some of the slack, but other wise no reel big changes are planned. Compared to last May, when the Savoy was facing a financial crisis, “it is a very different picture this year,” W inston says, attributing current success to a combination of shrewd guesswork, lucky breaks and big arthouse hits like Life is Beautiful. This dynamic duo definitely deserves the cash, and lots of credit.

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IN BRIEF: Talk about guerrilla marketing. By some fluke, the cri

sis in Kosovo has generated some unexpected publicity for the arts in Burlington. In an article two weeks ago about student reactions to the war, The New York Times noted that University of Vermont art students had “turned a collage assignment into a gallery of martial images, including a tank made of plumbing parts, with people formed from knives, forks and spoons emerg ing from the gun barrel.” This week it was Escaping Warsaw, a play by Burlington playwright Jennifer Bloomfield that got a mention in the lead paragraph of an article in U.S. News and World Report. The staged reading was required viewing for a group of Holocaust survivors and their descendants assembled in Burlington last weekend . . . Mike DeSantos and Renee Reiner had a Dream at the Book Rack — to sell out the first hard-cover edition of Philip Baruth’s first book within a year. Just last May, the publishing arm of the Winooski book store made Dream o f the White Village a reality. Publishers Weekly praised it as “a dis quieting, timely novel” that “transcends regional appeal.” The paperback is due out in early May, along with Baruth’s new baby — also a first edition . . . Jerry Seinfeld looked like a classic Queen City subject at a recent Mets game in New York City. The comedian was sporting a tell-tale “No. 9” baseball cap — classic merch from Magic Hat Brewing Company. Apparently the number has a special meaning for Seinfeld, who survived nine seasons on network television before hooking up with a Burlington girl. He could be just the guy to take the local brew national . . . The Daily Bread Bakery and Cafe in Richmond is open again after remodeling — just in time to serve up the rolls in the new Jim Carrey movie, M e M yselfand Irene. Carrey plays a Rhode Island state trooper in the Farrelly Brothers film that starts shooting in late May. Owner Betsy Bott was approached by location scouts, who wanted the cafe for a health-food scene. “They just happened to wander in,” she explains, noting the crew is also scoping out the Round Church. Extras? They need those, too. Wannabes are welcome to audition this weekend at the Sheraton in South Burlington, between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. and 2 to 6 p.m. Bring a head s h o t. . . The University of Vermont has pulled the rug out from under the Champlain Valley Festival — the dancing portion of the two-day event will move to Marsh Dining Hall. Formerly held in Southwick Hall, the sessions moved because the music department determined it “put too much demand on the building.” W ho knew a couple hundred sober folkies could raise so much hell? ®

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ILLU S TR A TIO N : SARAH RYAN

Tax b re a k s a re th e n a m e o f th e g a m e in e c o n o m ic d e v e lo p m e n t , b u t is t h e s t a t e g e t t in g its m o n e y 's w o rth ?

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SEVENDAY'S

april 28,19 99

onference Room A is plain and personality-free: aqua carpeting, blank beige walls, long tables arranged in a square, today with a paper-plate buffet spread of sandwiches, pota to chips and soda. It’s a modest setting, indeed, for the multi-million-dollar deals that go down here at the Agency of Commerce and Community Development in Montpelier. David Coates, a polite and well-connected Burlington busi ness advisor, calls to order the Vermont Economic Progress Council in this drab room — the seven men and two woman are appointed by Gov. Howard Dean to think heavy thoughts about the Vermont economy. Minutes later, the council votes to close its meet ing to the public. The only mem ber of the public in attendance, a newspaper reporter, is asked to leave. For the next five hours VEPC — pronounced “VEP-see” by the relatively few people who’ve even heard of it — screens requests from 15 Vermont companies look ing for hundreds of thousands of dollars in tax breaks. By 4 p.m. the

neckties are loosened. Empty soda cans and plates litter the confer ence table. The council re-opens its meeting to the public and begins methodically voting on the tax cuts. It’s “Christmas” for business on the fourth Thursday of March, and at every other monthly VEPC meeting. Since the mid-1990s, Vermont has awarded up to $108 million in tax breaks to businesses promising to expand, invest in new equipment or hire new work ers. In economic development par lance the tax breaks are dubbed “incentives,” because they are sup posed to induce companies to expand and create jobs here in Vermont. The numbers alone sug gest these tax breaks will spawn genuine economic expansion and thousands of new jobs. But to the critics, Vermont has been caught in a game of bidding for business with tax dollars, a game big corporations are winning and ordinary taxpayers, who can’t get the same breaks, are losing. The deals are shrouded in so much secrecy, and subject to enough assumption and judgment, that no one can be certain Vermonters are

indeed getting their money’s worth. And now there is concern that VEPC is going too far, giving away too much and awarding tax cuts to businesses that don’t deserve them. An economist hired by the Vermont Legislature to review the program says major manufacturers, chief among them Husky Injection Molding Systems Inc. of Milton, are getting tax breaks the Legislature never intended them to get. Even a chief architect of the law, former Rep. John Freidin (DNew Haven), says the Legislature needs to change the program and put the brakes on VEPC. “You’ve essentially given very substantial financial power to nine private citizens appointed by the governor,” Freidin said. “Is that good public policy? Is it constitu tional?”

owever taxpayers may feel about so-called “corporate welfare,” it is now well established in Vermont law. The rationale? Since Vermont can be a more expensive place to do busi ness than other states — stronger

environmental protections and higher power costs,: for exam ple — the tax cuts help a company compensate and compete. But the principal reason Vermont offers tax breaks is that it must. Other states use similar credits in cutthroat competition for economic growth. Vermont can’t go call ing to the corporate boardroom without the option of lowering corporate taxes, development experts say. W ith other states offering everything from free buildings to tax-free zones, a company can pick up and leave Vermont for a better deal else where. It’s a bidding war out there, with corporate executives driving up prices like free agents in baseball. “When Tennessee is flying down some of our CEOs to see what they have, that really makes me worried,” said Christopher D ’Elia, VEPC’s executive director. “You’ve got to be able to step up to the plate and compete. And if you don’t, you’re at a competitive disadvantage.” Tax breaks for corporations are now de rigueur across most of America. And that isn’t such good news. After an 18-month investigation by Donald L. Barlett and James B. Steele, Time magazine reported some of the dirtiest secrets about how states are elbowing one another out of the way at a corporate welfare bazaar. “ Times, investigation has established that almost without exception, local and state politi cians have doled out tens of bil lions of taxpayer dollars to busi nesses that are in fact eliminat ing rather than creating jobs. Some of the money has gone to prop up individual companies and avoid the consolidation within industries that an unfet tered market would bring about. Some has been pumped into profitable companies, mak ing them more profitable. Some has been awarded to companies that have threatened to move if they don’t get it. Some has been diverted to businesses that local politicians have somehow divined will be more successful than their competitors. And last, some has gone to entire industries that are shrinking.” Vermont wasn’t mentioned in Times investigation. And even critics agree Vermont’s tax breaks are better than most — although they are not working as some lawmakers had envi sioned. The state’s newest pro gram — the one VEPC runs — came last year with amend ments to Act 60, the state’s edu cation-financing law. It doesn’t actually pay out money from the state treasury. Instead it offers tax credits to qualifying companies that grow by increas ing their payrolls, for example, or by investing in research and development, in workforce training, or in new buildings,

equipment or machinery. Unlike a tax deduction, a tax credit is an outright reduction in taxes owed to the state. The new program, called simply Economic Advancement Tax Incentives (EATI), replaces

tee recently. “And it will make a difference for decades to come.” The fourth and final protec tion is that VEPC is not sup posed to reward business growth that would have occurred anyway. If it does, the

is actually losing tax money it should have pocketed — some where between $7 and $9 mil lion a year — because VEPC in fact did award credits to com panies that would have expand ed without the subsidies.

W ith other states offering everything from free buildings to ta x -fre e zones, o company con pick up ond leove Vermont for o b e tte r d eo l elsew here. an earlier tax credit program, which between 1993 and 1993 awarded 10 companies — including one that subsequently left the state — up to $65.8 million in tax breaks to be spread over a decade. The new law includes four protections that distinguish it from the old one and from those in other states. And understanding the final two dis tinctions is critical to evaluating the latest concerns about the program: First, the new law takes subsidy decisions away from politicians — who might be tempted to please campaign contributors looking for tax breaks — and gives it to VEPC. Second, it requires beneficiaries to meet guidelines that reflect Vermont values. For example, VEPC looks favorably on a company that fills jobs with Vermonters, pays high wages, expands in downtown districts or protects natural resources. Third, VEPC is almost always supposed to reward expansions that over time pro duce a net financial gain to Vermont. All applications are run through a computer model that measures the cost of the tax break against the financial benefits of economic growth. So even though Vermont loses up to $7.2 million from the tax credit granted to software giant IDX Systems Inc. for its South Burlington expansion, the model predicts the state will eventually see a net gain in tax dollars once IDX grows and pays higher sales, payroll and other taxes, and spins off addi tional economic growth. The projected payback on $42 million in tax breaks to 39 applicants awarded through March? A net gain of 4388 new jobs by December 31, 2003 and $54 million in new state tax revenue by December 31, 2002. W ith those kinds of num bers, the program is making “a significant difference not only in the economic landscape of Vermont, but in the lives of many, many Vermonters,” Commerce Secretary Molly Lambert told a Senate commit

council’s claim of a net gain in tax revenue falls apart. Coates, VEPC’s chairman, says the panel is overly cautious in mak ing such determinations. VEPC’s staff first reviews and pre-screens applicants, weeding some out. It requires applicants to certify that the program did indeed induce their growth. Next, it runs the cost-benefit model. And finally, VEPC questions executives, either by phone or in person at its monthly meetings, about whether their growth actually qualifies for the credit. VEPC also works with an economist to make sure the cost-benefit model is run correctly. If a company doesn’t live up to its promises, the Vermont Tax Department has the authority to discontinue or “recapture” its tax breaks. Coates says VEPC takes seriously its duty to safeguard state tax revenues, which are essentially assets of the state. “We really view our role as sort of the portfolio investment managers for the states. We really have fiduciary responsibil ity to the state,” he says, emphasizing that no tax credits are supposed to go to compa nies that would have expanded otherwise. “We know clearly that was the intent of the Legislature and the administra tion. So we really kick the tires on that — some would say probably to a fault.” It would be hard for a tax payer or a state lawmaker to judge VEPC’s decisions, howev er, since the panel reviews applications behind closed doors in order to protect a company’s proprietary tax and business and financial informa tion. The Agency of Commerce and Community Development, which oversees VEPC, denied this reporter’s request for taxcredit applications and costbenefit model results. Furthermore, an economist who analyzed the program for the Legislature says VEPC isn’t “kicking the tires” quite enough. Tom Kavet, who reports to the Legislature’s Joint Fiscal Committee, says the state

Having participated in major decisions about plant and equipment investments, Kavet says he has never known a case in which state or local subsidy was a determining factor. “At this phase of the current business cycle, after nearly eight years of sustained economic expansion and the economy operating at its full capacity, it is hard to believe that none of the EATI projects would have occurred without State subsi dies,” Kavet wrote in a February 19 memorandum to

the Legislature’s Joint Fiscal Committee. “Although it is impossible to conclusively prove, there is compelling evi dence that several o f the larger projects were not dependent upon State subsidies at all.” Husky, for example, was open for business and talking about huge expansions at its plant in Milton before the taxcredit program even existed. In an interview last year about his decisions to locate in Vermont, Husky’s president, Robert Schad, never once mentioned the tax credits and other state subsidies as a factor in his deci sion to come to Vermont. Even when a chief executive does threaten to leave, or says the project won’t go forward with out a tax break, governments can’t really know if it’s true or a bluff. “The public is always in the dark about what the real moti vations of the companies are and what the real bottom line is,” says William Schweke, senior program director at the Corporation for Enterprise Development, a think tank in Washington that studies taxcredit programs as part of its goal of fostering sound ecoContinued on page 10

w h o ’s g e ttin g o il th e

b re o k s ?

Husky Injection Molding Systems Inc., Milton $ 1 0 ,5 9 8 ,1 0 0 Town of Milton $ 6 ,8 0 8 ,5 0 0 Mack Molding, Arlington $ 6 ,4 1 8 ,1 0 0 IDX Systems, South Burlington $ 7 ,2 7 1 ,5 1 4 City of South Burlington $ 2 ,6 9 3 ,0 0 0 Vertek Corp., Williston $ 9 4 9 ,3 0 0 Country Home Products, Addison $ 6 2 9 ,6 2 4 GW Plastic, Royalton $ 6 2 7 ,8 0 0 Twincraft, Winooski $ 5 4 4 ,3 0 0 Specialty Filaments Inc., Burlington $ 5 1 8 ,2 0 0 Concepts ETI, White River Junction $ 5 0 7 ,1 8 3 Business Airfreight, Bennington $ 3 7 5 ,8 0 0 Oak Knoll, Bennington $ 3 5 5 ,4 0 6 Tri-Tech USA, South Burlington $ 2 6 3 ,9 0 0 Quick Pull, Randolph $ 2 5 9 ,2 0 0 Precision Valley Communications, Springfield $ 2 5 6 ,5 0 2 Chemical Farbrics Corp., Bennington $ 2 3 9 ,0 2 0 EHV-Weidman Industries Inc., St. Johnsbury $ 2 3 3 ,1 7 3 Hubbardton Forge, Castleton $ 2 3 2 ,0 0 0 New England Precision, Randolph $ 1 9 6 ,7 0 0 IVEK North, Springfield $ 1 9 4 ,1 0 0 Black River Produce, Proctorsville $ 1 9 4 ,1 0 0 Kalow Technologies, North Clarendon $ 1 8 7 ,7 0 0 Vermont Precision Woodworks, Morrisville $ 1 8 6 ,3 8 9 Plastic Technologies of Vermont, So. Burlington $ 1 6 8 ,7 0 0 Vermont Fasteners, Swanton $ 1 5 7 ,0 0 9 Abacus Automation, Bennington $ 1 5 5 ,6 7 9 Vermont Furniture Design, Winooski $ 1 4 4 ,0 0 0 Leahy Press, Montpelier $ 1 3 9 ,4 0 0 Controlled Energy Corporation, Waitsfield $ 1 3 5 ,2 8 5 North Woods Joinery, Cambridge $ 1 2 9 ,9 2 8 MacDermid Equipment Inc., Springfield $ 1 2 1 ,0 0 0 Town of Cavendish $ 1 2 0 ,0 0 0 Rhino Foods, Burlington $ 9 2 ,0 6 7 Town of Bennington $ 7 7 ,9 6 3 Champlain Chocolate Co., Burlington $ 6 5 ,9 5 2 Town of Castleton $ 4 7 ,4 0 0 Town of Randolph $ 2 5 ,6 0 0 Stratton Mountain Co., Stratton sales and use tax exemption

TOTAL: $*12,319,59*1

Corporate Welfare

V is it o u r n e w f a r m s t a n d in J e r ic h o C e n t e r .

Continued from page 9

Follow Barber Farm Road 1 mile from Rt. 117 (River Road), then 1000 feet up Schillhammer Road. Also at the Burlington Farmer’s Market. VERMONT'S LARGEST SELECTION O F CERTIFIED ORGANIC PLANTS

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Verm ont Symphony Orchestra " 1999 RADIO AUCTION © o/nq, © o '* Inn on the Green in Middlebury Champagne Photography Blue Seal at Tafts Corner Vermont Symphony Orchestra Shelburne Corporation Robert Paul Gallery Sage Sheep Farm Cactus Cafe in Stowe

$125 $100 $60 $50 $50 $35 $30 $25

701 Morning Disc Jockey with Roland LaJoie 702 Two Beethoven Festival Passes at Hunter Park 703 One Night Stay with breakfast 70415 Buckets of Balls 705 Diving or Snorkeling Mask 706 Gift Certificate 707 Gift Certificate for Framing 708 Four Tickets to the May Concert 709 Gift Certificate

1824 House Inn St. Michael’s Playhouse George Scatchard Lamps Trattoria Delia Sleeper House Madeleine Kamman Vermont Bookshop - Middlebury Michael Kehoe Rocky Dale Nurseries

$130 $116 $100 $50 $50 $40 $40 $30 $25

Heart of the Village Inn Mary Hood Alexander O’Brien’s Salon Middlebury Fitness Concert Pianist Diane Fanning Evergreen Gardens Ann Roche Casual Furniture KC’s Bagels and Arvad's Chris Bohjalian

$165 $110 $75 $60 $50 $50 $50 $27 $20

801 Night Stay for 2 with dinner and country breakfast 802 Reserved Season Tickets for Vermont Expos 803 Swiss Army Watch 804 Lifetime pass 805 One-hour Tennis Lesson 806 Two tickets to July 10th concert in Randolph 807 Dog Grooming 808 Gift Certificate for Framing 809 Gift Certificate

901 Two Season Subscriptions 902 Tom Clark studio piece "Ruby" 903 One-Hour Trail Ride for Two 904 Bash Badge for 1999-2000 season 905 Gift Certificate 906 Gift Certificate 907 Gift Certificate 908 Gift Certificate

WCVT Basin Harbor Club Lake Champlain Community Sailing Ctr. Hendy Brothers, Inc. Vermont Symphony Orchestra Lang Farm Nursery Barre Opera House Granite City Grill & Tavern in Barre

$200 $177 $130 $ $54 $50 $28 $25

VSO Education Fund Addison Eagle Janice Lange Thompson Travel Adventurous Traveller Bookstore Olive's Bistro Applecheek Farm Lake Champlain Maritime Museum Stowe Street Emporium

$502 $320 $150 $100 $50 $50 $50 $30 $15

1101 Four-Weight Classic Series Fly Rod 1102 Half-Hour Massage a Month for a Year 1103 Duo for One Hour 1104 Oil Paint Set 1105 Dinner for Four 1106 Gift Certificate 1107 Tickets, rehearsal passes for 7/17,7/18 concerts 1108 Brunch for Two 1109 Ornamental Urn

WDEV Stowehof Inn Karhu USA Lake Champlain Ferries Dada David & Sharon Wilson Robert Paul Gallery Deer Leap Books

$200 $200 $150 $100 $81 $75 $35 $25

1. Listen to the auction on the radio and follow along as the above items are auctioned off to the highest bidder. 2. On Thursday, April 29, call WDEV for and Advantage Bidder Number: 1-800-639-9338 or 802-244-7321. We’ll need your name, address, and phone number and method of payment when you are the highest bidder. We can accept VISA, MasterCard, American Express, and Discover Credit Cards and personal checks. 3. At 7:00 p.m. on Thursday, April 29, tune in to one of the following stations: WDEV-AM 550, Waterbury - serving Washington and Lamoille Counties WDEV-FM 96.1, Warren - serving Washington and Orange Counties, Stowe and parts of Addison County WLVB-FM 93.9, Morrisville - serving

pagefl^'. SEVER DAYS-•

$450 $300 $275 $199 $150 $50 $50 $30 $60

1201 Conduct the VSO at a summer concert in Middlebury or Stowe VSO (minimum bid $1000) $502 1202 Limited Edition CD of VSO and Kate Tamarkin VSO Education Fund $350 Otter Creek Brewing 1203 Evening Reception for 25 $300 Thunder Road 1204 Season pass $250 — Three Stallion Inn 1205 Two-night Stay $215 Karhu USA 1206 Catamount Backcountry Skis $200 Vermont State Craft Center 1207 Handcrafted Pottery Hall Piece

I N F O R M A T I O N

ii'v ■ < ' . v v u \ \ i V V

Diamondback Olive Ylin and Robert John Vermont Symphony Orchestra Boutilier’s Art Center Chair of the VSO Governing Board Isadora Marlboro Music Festival North Hero House Illumine du Monde

BLOCK 1200 9:45 -10:00 P.M.

••

A U C T I O N

$240 $100 $50 $50 $50 $50 $25 $25

BLOCK 1100 LANGROCK, SPERRY & WOOL 9:30 - 9:45 P.M.

BLOCK 600 8:30 P.M.

601 Morning Disc Jockey with Eric Michaels 602 Night Stay for 2 with breakfast 603 Nova Touring Skis 604 Four Tickets for Fireworks Cruise 605 Pasta Bowl with Specialty Pastas 606 Round of Golf at Country Club of Vermont 607 Gift Certificate for Framing 608 Gift Certificate

$108 $186 $80 $60 $50 $50 $30 $20

Stowe Performing Arts Quicksilver in Barre Vermont Icelandic Horse Farm Smugglers' Notch Resort Jane Koplewitz Collection Salon Salon Thistle Hill Pottery Redberry Boutique

1001 Two-night stay Linens and Lace B&B in Middlebury 10021/2 Day of Flyfishing The Fly Rod Shop 1003 Dinner for Two at Leunig's Lake Champlain Productions 1004 Gold and Green Silk Springtime Table Runner Charisma 10051-Hour Master Lesson on the Gresvilles organ Emory Fanning 1006 Hemp Canvas Shoulder Bag Greenfield’s Mercantile 1007 Gift Certificate Furchgotte & Sourdiffe Gallery 1008 Disposable H20proof camera w/ film processing Lightning Photo in Middlebury

BLOCK 500 WILSON & WHITE 8:00 - 8:15 P.M. 501 Limited Edition CD of VSO and Kate Tamarkin 502 20" Advertisement 503 Sunset Cruise on Malletts Bay 504 Gift Certificate 505 Gift Certificate 506 Gift Certificate 507 Farm Tour and Llama walk 508 Family Membership 509 Gift Certificate

$327 $150 $125 $175 $40 $40 $35 $35 $20

Trapp Family Lodge Patron of the Vermont Expos Peregrine Outfitters Vermont Sun Hal Greig Vermont Symphony Orchestra Hair of the Dog Robert Paul Gallery Otter Creek Bakery

BLOCK 1000 HARWOOD MOSES CHAMBERS 9:15 - 9:30 P.M.

BLOCK 400 SULLIVAN & POWERS 7:45 - 8:00 P.M. 401 Morning Disc Jockey with Brian Harwood 402 Golfing Greens Fees for Four 403 Four 3-hour Sailing Lessons 404 Toy from John Deere 405 Two Tickets to Peter, Paul & Mary @Hunter Park 406 Gift Certificate 407 Two tickets to Music and Dance of Tibet 5/14 408 Gift Certificate

$200 $94 $85 $72 $60 $50 $50 $40 $25

BLOCK 900 9:00 - 9:15 P.M.

BLOCK 300 7:30 - 7:45 P.M. 301 One-Night Stay 302 One-Hour Consultation with Lawyer 303 Two Massages 304 One-month membership 305 One-hour Piano Lesson 306 Gift Certificate 307 Gift Certificate 308 Dozen Bagels S $20 Gift Certificate 309 Signed Copy of "Midwives"

WLVB Vermont Symphony Orchestra Crystal Palace Inn Bolton Golf Driving Range Waterfront Diving The Whip at Green Mountain Inn Boutilier’s Art Center Vermont Youth Orchestra The Rainbow Room Jewlery & Gifts

BLOCK 800 LAHGROCK, SPERRY & WOOL 8:45 - 9:00 P.M.

BLOCK 200 HARWOOD MOSES CHAMBERS 7:15 - 7:30 P.M. 201 One Night Stay 202 Two Subscription Packages 203 Handmade Lamp 204 Gift Certificate 205 Gift Certificate 206 Signed copy “The New Making of a Cook" 207 Gift Certificate 208 Gift Certificate 209 Gift Certificate

THURSDAY, APRIL 29TH, 7:00 -10 :0 0 P.M. WDEV AM 550 & FM 96.1, WLVB 93.9 FM & WCVT 101.7 FM BLOCK 700 SULLIVAN & POWERS 8:30 - 8:45 p.m.

BLOCK 100 WILSON & WHITE 7:00 - 7:15 P.M. 101 One Night Stay and Breakfast 102 One 8 x 10 Portrait in Your Home 103 Snowbird Feeding Station 104 Two Tkts to July 4 Shelburne Farms concert 105 Barrecrafters Trunk-Mount Bike*Rack 106 Gift Certificate for Framing 107 Two English Teas 108 Gift Certificate

864-5684

V.W

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K E E P

T H I S

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Lamoille, Caledonia and Orleans Counties WCVT-FM1017, Stowe, Burlington - serving Chittenden, Lamoille, Washington and Addison Counties 4. Call your bids into the auction center as each block is auctioned. 5. We will confirm high bids during the auction and the morning after. 6. Upon receipt of payment, all gift certificates will be mailed to the highest bidder and physical merchandise can be picked up at the respective location. 7. All Auction items have been donated. All Newspaper space has been donated. All radio air time and staffing has been donated. All Proceeds Support VSO Concerts and Educational Events Statewide.

nomic development. “The company knows and the public is never going to know.” Kavet pointed out that until recendy, and the publication of his memo, VEPC had never denied a project, although he did note that many would-be appli cants were screened out early on because they clearly failed to meet the laws requirements. He noted that most of the credits

Vermont hos been caught in o gome of bidding for business with tax dollars, o gome big corporations ore winning ond ordinary taxpayers, who can't get the some breaks, ore losing. went to companies in Chitten den County, which has the state’s lowest unemployment rate, while areas with high unemployment — Essex, Orleans, Grand Isle, Franklin and Lamoille counties — have few or no subsidized compa nies. In addition, that big suck ing sound you hear is people from out-of-state moving to Vermont to take jobs at compa nies on the corporate dole. Kavet wrote that while much of the growth would offer highquality jobs to Vermont resi dents, the cost-benefit model estimated that more than half the total jobs created at busi nesses receiving subsidies through February would be filled by “in-migrants” to the state — a point VEPC dis putes. “It’s not to say that Husky and IDX aren’t excellent firms doing very good things for the state,” Kavet said in an inter view. “It’s simply a question of whether the state needs to give away public money to these firms in order for that [growth] to have happened.”

Coates says he is 100 per cent confident that none of the growth would have happened without the tax credits. Coates, one of a group of influential Chittenden County business men with clout in state govern ment — sometimes dubbed the “Burlington Bishops” — says he personally helped recruit Husky to Vermont and was involved in the IDX expansion. He says the possibility of tax credits, even though they didn’t yet exist in state law, were critical to both projects. / “I have no question in my mind,” Coates says. “Absolutely none.” One of the smaller manu facturers getting a tax credit, Hubbardton Forge of Castleton, which manufactures wrought-iron lighting and accessories, did indeed expand and hire more workers as a result of the tax credit, says George Chandler, the compa ny’s owner. Wary about growing in a business climate that rises and falls with home sales and consumer confidence, Chandler says the availability of the pro gram tilted the scales. “It provided the incentive that took us off the fence,” he says. “There’s no question about that.” A 37,000-square-foot expansion at Hubbardton Forge will increase the plant size by 80 percent. That comes with significant overhead costs that take a bite in early years. So the tax credit helps, Chandler said, adding that the company will also hire new workers as it expands. “We’re not going to grow as a business unless we grow in employees.” For now, concerns about the program haven’t set off alarms on the Legislature’s radar screen. But that’s about to change. Aware of Kavet’s memo, the House Ways and Means Committee, where the law originated, plans to take a look at the program in coming weeks. Kavet readily agrees that the tax subsidy program has certainly induced smaller com panies to grow. It’s the subsidies to the larger ones he questions, and he suggests that lawmakers should recognize the potential benefits and risks of the incen tives. “The Act 60 EATI program has been valuable in providing flexible investment incentives to specifically targeted firms and has contributed in many tangi ble and intangible ways to improving and promoting the State’s business image,” he wrote in the memo. “Direct business subsidies such as these, however, are gen erally considered to be among the most expensive ways for a state to achieve such economic development, and this program is no exception.” ®

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By Ruth Horowitz hen Nat Harrison, a single, lesbian mother, moved to Vermont from upstate New York, she chose to live in Underhill be cause she’d heard that the local schools would provide a wel coming environment for her teenage son, Abram. Little did she imagine that, four years later, she would feel compelled to bring discrimination charges against her son’s school district before the Vermont Human Rights Commission. Even more difficult to imagine: that these charges would be based on an event designed to promote tol erance and understanding. At issue was whether a pre sentation to Mt. Mansfield High School students from the gay youth support group O ut right Vermont would have to be “balanced” by a talk from a for merly gay minister. Earlier this week, before the Human Rights Commission had a chance to consider the charges — and after other parents, a gender consultant with the Vermont Department of Education, and this reporter began questioning the school — administrators agreed to allow the Outright talk to go forward on its own. This story has a happy out come — for now. But in a week when national attention has

A discrimination charge at Mount Mansfield High School raises hard questions about homosexuality

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been focused on the school shootings in Littleton, Colo rado, and Vermonters have been arguing over the question of same-sex marriage, the contro versy at Mt. Mansfield paints a revealing portrait. Its subject: what can happen when schools try to help kids address issues they are struggling to resolve — and when students challenge the policies handed down by their school administration. Nat Harrison’s charges arose as Abram, a junior at the Jericho Center school and president of its student council, was helping to plan the annual Awareness Week. The event next week will explore the experiences of differ ent minority groups, environ mental concerns, and other top ics. Mt. Mansfields newly formed Gay/Straight Alliance invited Outright Vermont to make a presentation. Abram, a straight member of the Alliance, says that Vice Principal Joseph Corasaniti told his group that Outright could only appear at the school if the organization’s viewpoint was countered by that of an “ex-gay ministry.” Also known as “con version” or “reparative” therapy, ex-gay ministry is a national Christian program that uses prayer, discussion, Bible study and counseling to encourage people seeking to give up a gay lifestyle.

According to Abram, this isn’t the first time Mt. Mansfield administrators have invoked an equal-time requirement for gays. For last year’s Awareness Week, student organizers invited Craig Mitchell, a Burlington deejay and musician, to speak about his experience as a gay man. W hen that happened, Harrison says, Corasaniti stipulated that Mitchell’s perspective be con trasted with that of ex-gay min ister Mark Williams. Corasaniti says he can’t recall how the make-up of last year’s panel was determined. As it turned out, Mitchell canceled his appearance, for per sonal reasons, the day before he was to appear. In the absence of any counter-balancing view point, the school decided not to have Williams speak, either. But the topic o f anti-gay discrimina tion came up at a workshop led by Burlington Rabbi Joshua Chasan. “W hen I started to talk about anti-Semitism, it became clear that the discussion had to be broadened to take in homo sexuality as well,” Chasan recalls. “It’s no accident^that Hitler killed both Jews and homosexuals. Both groups have been the targets of hatred that grows out of fear.” In her charges, Nat Harrison argued that the school’s require

ment was a form of discrimina tion because no other presenters were being subjected to the opposing viewpoint require ment. No one would dream of inviting a white supremacist to

Nat Harrison also contended that “gay conversion” groups promote anti-gay beliefs — an assessment with which Tami Eldridge, executive director of Outright Vermont, concurs. In

erosexual manner, or become celibate.” 'J Eldridge adds that her posi tion on reparative therapy is shared by such mainstream asso ciations as the American

“ I w o u ld n ’t w a n t my c h ild b e in g ta u g h t 1 by a hom osexual. , ’ . — Tut P a rm lyj itte nden East S ch o o l Board m em ber speak at a panel on AfricanAmericans, or of pairing a talk on anti-Semitism with a neoNazi, or even a Jew for Jesus, she reasoned. But Reverend Craig Benson, pastor at Cambridge Unified Church and a co-founder of the four-year-old ex-gay ministry New Journey, doesn’t buy this logic. “We have a consensus that racism is bad, and a reasonable consensus around religious dif ference. When you deal with homosexuality,” he argues, “there are many aspects of the public debate that have not yet been decided.” Abram Harrison counters, “Homosexuals are certainly among the downtrodden in America. A lot of the issues they have to put up with are similar to civil rights issues of the ’60s.”

fact, when Eldridge learned she would be debating an ex-gay minister at this year’s Awareness Day, Eldridge withdrew from the forum as a matter of princi ple. “The entire ex-gay ministry movement is not based on fact,” she asserts. Eldridge argues that repara tive therapy is not only ineffec tive but actually harmful because it holds out hope that changing one’s sexual orienta tion is possible — a supposition she believes simply isn’t so. When the reparative therapy fails, the experience can provoke guilt and anxiety, and deepen depression. “People who claim to change” their sexual identity, she says, “are either deluding themselves, have a bisexual identity to begin with and choose to only behave in a het-

Psychological Association (APA), the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Associa tion of School Psychologists. Benson remains unswayed. “The bottom line is that gay and lesbian behavior is just that — choice-based behavior,” he contends. The reverend refuses to disclose how many coun selors are associated with New Journey, or how many Vermonters they have worked with. But he asserts that about 1500 practicing psychologists belong to the National Association of Reparative Therapy. “It’s an alternative to the APA, [which] doesn’t allow an option for those individuals who want to change.” As for the APA and other

Continued on page 15

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professional organizations’ con clusions that reparative therapy is bogus, “They’re political statements,” the minister asserts. He suggests that although the APA declared homosexuality untreatable in 1973, psychiatrists still bill patients for treating conditions such as narcissism and gender confusion — conditions he calls elements of homosexuality. “It’s an insurance game,” Benson submits. He believes organiza tions like New Journey should have a voice in the schools in order to counter what he sees as subtle encouragement for teenagers to try out different sexual behaviors. “There’s a tacit push that bisexuality is a good thing to experiment with,” Benson claims, adding that teenagers need “understanding role models and clear teaching about the nature of human sex uality, its responsibilities and consequences.” Outright, ironically, advo cates these same goals. The question is which group’s role models are truly “understand ing,” and what really constitutes “clear teaching about human sexuality.” Tut Parmly, a long-standing member of the Chittenden East School Board and a supporter of the ex-gay ministry approach, would eliminate the topic of homosexuality altogether. “I don’t think it’s appropriate to put it in the schools at all,” he says. “God says that it’s an abomination to him, and I believe that God is right. This is not based on any religion, but according to the standards God has set.” Parmly acknowledges that teenagers need guidance to avoid risky behaviors. But the School Board member main tains that this help should hap pen at home. “The government forces taxes to go up and both parents to work. We have to get the families back together and get the schools out of it,” he contends. Parmly also believes that the schools need to teach “morali ty,” rather than the “immorali ty” they currently promulgate by teaching that homosexuality is an acceptable lifestyle, he says, and by “allowing any employee in the school to be homosexual. I wouldn’t want my child being taught by a homosexual.” Rabbi Chasan, too, would like the schools to help stu dents develop morally, and also bases his belief on religious principles. But Chasan’s defini tion o f morality stands in stark contrast to Parmly’s. “There was a time in this country not too many years ago when the Bible was used to defend racial segregation,” the rabbi points out. “We’re beginning to see how important it is that we

remember that every person is created in the image of God?” Chasan adds that he hopes the schools will help students “get beneath the divides that are poisoning our society.” The best way to do this, he believes,

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is by promoting “issues of char acter — concerns for nurturing integrity, courage and mutual respect.” Asked why he believes it’s important to bring a gay speak er to his school, Abram Harrison points to the fates of gay people like Matthew Shepard, who was beaten to death in Wyoming last year, and Billy Jack Gaither, who was kidnapped and set on fire in Alabama in February. “There are too many people out there who think [gays are] sub-human,” he laments. Overall, however, Harrison does not believe that Mt. Mansfield is an unsafe place for gays. Though he knows of no student who is openly gay to the entire student body, he describes the general atmos phere as “tolerant.” At a meeting Monday after noon between Chittenden East Superintendent Gail Conley, Mt. Mansfield Vice Prinicipal Joseph Corasaniti and mem bers of the Gay/Straight Alliance, Abram Harrison got his way. Conley and Corasaniti both denied that the adminis tration ever required students to invite an ex-gay minister. The Student Council will be asked to issue a new invitation to Outright, excluding the equal-time requirement. It will be up to the Council to decide whether to schedule a separate talk by Mark Williams, who had not yet been invited to speak. The Gay/Straight Alliance will rec ommend against such an invi tation. Abram Harrison says that as long as no such invita tion is issued, his mother will drop her charges. “I would say that we pretty much won this one,” he declares. ®

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Past History is never dry at the Lake Champlain Maritime Museum By David Healy U | ’ve called Lake I Champlain the nation’s ■ sixth Great Lake because of its ecological importance; historically, though, it’s our nation’s first Great Lake.” So said Senator Pat Leahy nearly two years ago at a news confer ence announcing the discovery of Benedict Arnold’s “missing” gunboat. Only a little less inclined to play with words, Art Cohn, director of the Lake Champlain Maritime Museum (LCMM)

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Seven Days and th e U n iv e rsity of Vermont Summer W riting Program are pleased to announce th e th ird annual com petition fo r emerging w rite rs in sh o rt fic tio n .

D eadline fo r e n tr ie s: May 21, 1999 Mail manuscripts to Emerging Writers, Seven Days, PQB USA, Burlington, VT 05402 THE WINNING STORY w ill be th e cover featu re in th e Seven Days Summer F ictio n issu e June 30, 1999, and w ill receive a cash p rize of $250. 1ST AND 2ND RUNNERS-UP w ill be pub lished in th e Seven Days Summer F ictio n issu e June 30, 1999, as space allow s, and w ill re ce ive g ift c e rtific a te s from lo c a l m erchants.

R u le s : 1. "Emerging Writers" are defined as anyone 18 or older who has published no more than three pieces of fiction in a newspaper, magazine or literary journal, and has published no books. Entrants must be Vermont residents, or attending school in Vermont at the tim e of this competition.

3. All entrants will be judged anonymously by members of the Seven Days staff and an esteemed panel of Vermont writers, including Philip Baruth, Ruth Horowitz, David Huddle, Tom Paine, Christopher Shaw and Abigail Stone. 4. Manuscripts should be typed and double-spaced. Please include a cover page with your name, address and phone num ber. Do not put your name on the other pages. Stories chosen as winners will need to be re ceived in electronic form as well.

2. "Short Fiction" in this com petition is defined as a short story, or an excerpt from a larg e r work if the excerpt stands on its own as a story. The length should not exceed 4 0 0 0 words.

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page 16

in Basin Harbor, wouldn’t argue with the latter part of that assessment. “Lake Champlain has the best pre served collection of wooden ships in North America,” he says, referring to the lake’s his toric wrecks. “It’s a world-class collection of intact sites.” Lake Champlain, locale of fishing derbies and scenic sun sets, is also the final resting place of nearly every type of watercraft that ever came down the pike — or the St. Lawrence River. Native American dugout canoes, British and French

SEVEN

april 28, 1999

5. Manuscripts will not be returned. 6. One entry per writer. 7. Employees of Seven Days and the UVM Summer Writing Pro gram, and family members there of, as well as family members of the judges, are disqualified from entering this competition. C o -s p o n so re d by-:

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colonial craft, gunboats, steam boats and horse ferries all litter the bottom of that “silver dag ger from Canada to the heart land of Americas colonies,” as Vermont historian Ralph Nading Hill called it in his book Lake Champlain: Key to Liberty. Borrowing heavily from the title of that seminal work, but adding a contemporary touch and several leagues of impor tant new information, Cohn’s Maritime Museum is preparing an exhibit vital to appreciating, and preserving, one of our region’s most significant out door and cultural resources. “Key to Liberty: The Revolutionary War in the Champlain Valley,” is set to open to the public when the LCMM launches its new sea son next Monday. The exhibit, which pre miered at the U.S. Navy Museum in Washington last winter, covers the critical peri od from 1775 to 1777, when the future of our country was forged in the heat of battles fought on the waters of Lake Champlain. A well-crafted porthole to our past, the dis play is equally effective in focusing attention on the future. The story begins just prior to the signing of the Declara

tion of Independence, at a time when Benedict Arnold was a hero and not an arch-villain in the revolutionary cause. In fact, one of the outstanding features of the multi-media display is

ty than his 1 lth-hour sellout could ever undo. Just as “Key to Liberty” , reveals Arnold’s pivotal role on Lake Champlain and in our nation’s history, it highlights the

For those who prefer to remain 15ry while studying lake history, 1 k“Key to Liberty” presents an imprest sive collection of text, pictures, | Ifrideo and artifacts that help trace the 17 boats of the American fchamplain fleet. a the context it provides for this infamous leader’s career. “He did a lot of sacrificing for this cause while he was fighting for it,” Cohn says of the twice-injured Arnold. “He deserves to be reexamined, and that’s what we do.” Reviled for his betrayal at West Point, a closer examina tion of Arnold’s role in the American Revolution reveals a skilled leader and naval tacti cian who bought the colonists much-needed time at the out set of the conflict. From his illfated offensive into Canada to the well-executed escape at Valcour and the master stroke at Saratoga, Arnold clearly did more to help the cause of liber

way nautical archaeology has contributed to our understand ing of the Lake and to our soci ety as a whole. “If you watch TV and the news and say, ‘The goddamned world is going to hell in a handbasket,’ then what are our tools to figure it out better?” asks Cohn, a former criminal lawyer. “I think it’s partially through history and archaeolo gy and the study of society’s past that we can try things on for size in a noncontentious for mat, and then apply those lessons to how we live today.” Beyond the broad horizon of history, nautical archaeology on Lake Champlain has provid ed some concrete lessons as well

as outdoor recreational oppor tunities for Lake Champlain basin residents. The discovefy of the remains of the canal-sail ing General Butler and the Burlington Bay Horse Ferry, for instance, remind us of long-for gotten technologies. Both wrecks, situated not far from the Burlington breakwater, can be visited by divers as part of the pioneering Underwater Historic Preserve System on Lake Champlain. But for those who prefer to remain dry while studying lake history, “Key to Liberty” pre sents an impressive collection of text, pictures, video, replicas and artifacts that help trace the 17 boats of the American Champlain fleet. One of the most enlightening elements of the exhibit is a short video, A Tale o f Three Gunboats, which shows underwater footage of the last undiscovered Arnold gunboat in Lake Champlain. Sitting completely intact and upright, as if under sail, the boat was discovered in 1997 as part of a LCMM lakewide sonar survey. “W ith today’s technology, finding a historic shipwreck is the easy part,” Cohn admits. The challenge, he suggests, is what to do with these sunken treasures. “We didn’t grow up think ing of submerged cultural

resources as ‘something.’ They were ‘shipwrecks’ and guys with earrings or whatever went out and plundered them. And that was great because it was swash buckling and exciting, and we never really thought about what the pros and cons o f that were,” says Cohn, who wouldn’t be entirely miscast in Gilbert and Sullivan’s Pirates o f Penzance himself. Most scientists, and the museum, have traditionally favored studying wrecks in situ — largely because of the high costs and risks of removing an ancient boat from its resting place. But the balance in Lake Champlain has been upset by the recent invasion of non native zebra mussels. “They’re encrusting the shipwrecks, and we fear they’re destabilizing them,” Cohn laments. W ith the preservation of the Arnold gunboat and other sen sitive shipwrecks in the balance, the LCMM is asking “Key to Liberty” visitors for input on how to manage this public resource. Appropriately enough, the question seems to be: “At what price Liberty?” ® For information on the Lake Champlain M aritime Museum, or the Benedict Arnold gunboat management plan, call 4752022.

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SEVEN DAYS

page 17

Ego M a n ia MAY 8 &31

Sunday

By Erik Esckilsen

^ Sunday, 10?a.m.-4fl

0 /n o n m e m b 6 ^ ^ a v a ila b le at Store. 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

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18 '

SEVEN DAYS

april j ;>

;i/

28 , 1999 •

e all know that actors have egos. But when we buy a theater tick et, don’t we assume the ’tudes will be put aside for our sake? The artist’s temperament itself takes center stage in the dou ble-bill performance of Mozart’s comic opera The Impresario and Jerome Kilty’s two-act drama Dear Liar, staged collaboratively by Vermont Opera Company and Lost Nation Theater. Far from shining an unflattering light on the petulance and pomposi ty endemic to theater life, the results play like good jokes — the kind that poke fun at the teller along with everyone else. And as the old proverb has it, the jokes make holes through which the truth can whistle. The Impresario, by far the lighter of the two, is something of a warm-up act. Roughly 30 minutes long, the piece updates the first act of Mozart’s satire Der Schauspiel-direktor with a 1920s setting and English translation by Geoffrey Dunn. The story unfolds initially as a straight play. The titular impre sario Mr. Cash, played by tenor Tim Tavcar, finds himself in a

Som e lunch options: • S o u p & H a lf a S a n d w ic h - n ew o p tio n s e v e ry d a y

Pink with anxiety as he

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duction from fa llin g apart

before him, Mr. Cash evokes at once the divas’ door-

• G rille d S h rim p se rve d o n a Japanese c u c u m b e r salad

mat as w ell as the

• S e a fo o d N e w b u r g

imperiously about his conservatory, . voicing objections about character, costume and plot, Cash assuages her colos sal ego while trying desperately to avoid com prom ising the work. No sooner have he and Heartmelt come to terms, how ever, than in walks in prima donna Mademoiselle Warblewell, played by soprano Margaret Richardson. It seems Mr. Cash is trying to line up

■ ■ ■

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persuade prima donna to Madame Heartmelt, . played by soprano Lisa Jablow, to sign on to his latest work. As “La Heart-

two enormous talents for his play. Had “La Warblewell” not arrived so early, he might have gotten away with it. The stage is set for a dueling-sopranos catfight, with Cash caught in the middle. From this point on, the play is sung — and very well. Jablow and Richardson sing with the gusto of professionals intent on outshining each other, and they can be wicked ly funny. W hen Warblewell sings, “I am the star of my profession/For I have reached the top-most peak,” Heartmelt^ responds, “I must endorse your shy confession/Your face and voice are quite unique.” T '4 O f the three stars, Tavcar shines most brightly. While he does not command the vocal presence of the sopranos, his ^ less-polished delivery seems right in character. Pink with anxiety as he scurries about trying to keep the production from falling apart before him, he evokes

whose show simply must once the divas’ doormat as well as the intrepid impresario whose show simply must go on. After all, as

go on.

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sings, lo sacrifice tradition on the altar of ambition is to shame the highest Art.” Egos clash again in Dear Liar, but the sound reverberates more deeply. Constructed almost solely from correspondence in the early part of the century between irascible Irish play wright George Bernard Shaw and English actress Mrs. Patrick “Stella” Campbell, the play chronicles two celebrated dramatists swept up in forbid den love, and mixes romance, respect and regret. Shaw remained married to wife Charlotte throughout his relationship with the widow Campbell, who herself would remarry during this time. While their association was thus cause for scandal, outside opinions of their dealings hardly enter their words at all, testifying to the strength of their bond. Yet their relation ship is also combative at times, particularly in scenes dramatiz ing their collaboration on Pygmalion, for which Shaw scripted the role of Eliza Doolittle with Campbell in mind. Still, the fondness that drew them together is never completely obscured. The sparks that fly originate in their passion for each other, not just in their art. This dynamic is chemistry personified. As Shaw and

fully realized perfor mances, moving seamless ly along the work’s emotion al spectrum. H olt is restrained in his use of the Irishman’s rolling V s,” and his painstak ingly direct manner of speech is warmly offset by MacMillan’s proper English, colored with ironic tones sug gesting she is neither intimi dated nor impressed by her “Joey.” And yet she could dote on him, yearn for him. The formidable Shaw, in rare moments of vulnerability, could pine for her. The actors’ physical attrib utes, in part the work of cos tume designer Cora Fauser, enhance these portrayals. H olt’s Shaw is slender and severe in his brown pin-striped suit and graying beard; he spends a fair amount of the play sternly pac ing, as if commanding troops. By contrast, Campbell’s MacMillan is a zaftig vision, a serene and smiling light of hope. Unlike the oft-produced epistolary drama Love Letters, by American playwright A.R. Gurney, Dear Liar brings Shaw and Campbell together to enact their words. Kilty’s script also has them intermittently narrat ing events directly to the audi ence. Director Danielle Sertz describes the action as a “dance,” as most courtships are, requiring a “choreography” of the actors’ close movements with words composed at great distances. The effect is an in-

triguingly intimate — and often funny — portrait of two passionate individuals struggling to de-fine a complicated rela tionship. The portrait of Shaw is especially novel — an artistic genius confounded by matters of the heart. As a program, The Impresario and Dear Liar work well together. Scene designer Kim Bent and scenic artist Don Hirsch have constructed Mr. Cash’s conservatory to con vert easily to Shaw’s and Campbell’s studies — stately, commodious rooms large enough to contain the outsized personalities who dwell within them. A second thematic compo nent — Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart — further links the two pieces. Shaw was a verita ble scholar on the composer, authoring critical essays on his work and culling characters from Don Giovanni for his own opus, M an and Superman. At the risk of giving away endings, adding Mozart to the mix gives the production a subtle mes sage about the artist’s gifts — what they can, and cannot, deliver. ®

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SEVEN DAYS

page 19

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SEVEN DAYS

page 33

Calendar '•/.Up*.

MOTHERS & THEIR INFANTS’ DISCUSSION: Psychotherapists Iren Smolanski and Mina Levinsky-Wohl analyze “Expectations and Realities” of the early childhood years. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10:45-11:45 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. ‘CO M M UNITY CHAM PIONS’ AWARDS DINNER: The United Way toasts strong supporters at this celebra tion. Radisson Hotel, Burlington, 5:30 p.m. $2. Info, 864-7541. WALDORF SCHOOL OPEN HOUSE: Explore this educational option for students in pre-school through eighth grade. Lake Champlain

and crafts. South Burlington Community Library, 11 a.m. Free. Register, 652-7080. STORIES: Little listeners hear stories, snack and make crafts at the Childrens Pages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 655-1537. STORY HOUR: Preschoolers and accompanying adults get a taste o f Once Upon a Mudpie and work with clay under “kid-certified” potter and reader Cynthia Haviland. Kids in kindergarten through fifth grade attend the later session. Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury, 10 a.m. & 3:30 p.m. Free. Info, 244-1126.

BATTERED W O M EN VOLUN TEERS: Attend an orientation session covering domestic violence education and volunteer opportunities with Women Helping Battered Women. UVM Womens Center, 34 South Williams St., Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 658-3131.

FIBROMYALGIA SUPPORT GROUP: This neuromuscular pain and fatigue syndrome affects more women than men. Join fellow sufferers in the Board Room, Fanny Allen Campus, Colchester, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-3273.

Waldorf School, Shelburne, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 985-2827. ‘GET O U T OF MY LIFE’ PARENTING WORKSHOP: A group of parenting organizations and experts collaborate to tackle the challenge of raising teenagers. Champlain Valley Union High School, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 482-3885. DRUG PREVENTION FORUM: If an ounce o f prevention is worth a pound o f cure, then why is it so hard to keep youth away from drugs? Work toward answers at the Town Hall Auditorium, Cabot, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 563-3338.

etc

Continued from page 33

Calendar is written by Erik Esckilsen. Classes are compiled by Lucy Howe. All submissions are due in writing on the Thursday before publication. SEVEN DAYS edits for space and style. Send to: SEVEN DAYS, P.0. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 054021164. Or fax 802-865-1015. Email: sevenday@together.net

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imental m usic, interactive video, and more. Polaroid docum entation o f the

2 7 0 0 , ext. 2 611. Through May 28.

Through April.

works are accum ulating on the walls.

coal. Book Rack Exhibit Space,

turing watercolors and graffiti images

Exquisite Corpse Artsite, Burlington,

W inooski, 6 5 5 -0 2 3 1 . Through M ay 15. PR0CESS/PR0GRESS, a six-week evolu

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ANNIE CASWELL: MIXED MEDIA, fea

College, C om m u n ity Art Gallery, Burlington, 8 6 2 -9 6 1 6 . Through April.

tal m usic by Tom Lawson and Clark

and more, with artists in the gallery

ELDER ART SHOW, new work under the

daily. Firehouse Center for the Visual

tutelage o f Mark M ontalban. Fletcher

★ Film P ro d u ctio n I

Russell, April 29; interactive video by Kathey Marmor, April 30; performance

Arts, Burlington, 8 6 5 -7 1 6 5 . Through

R oom , Fletcher Free Library,

by Susan Calza, M ay 5. All shows at 7

May 9.

Burlington, 8 6 3 -3 4 0 3 . Through April.

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HEARTS0NGS, masks, paintings and

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★ Non-Linear C om pu ter E diting (A v id s y s te m ) w ith M a r k S e lv ig

★ C om puter G raphic A nim ation ( D i r e c t o r 6 .0 ; P a i n t e r ) w ith J o s h u a J o y

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INTREPID VIBRATIONS, posters by

garden sculptures in mixed m edium s by

Carol Rosalinde Drury and Harold

D avid Peroff. Fletcher R oom , Fletcher

Sandy Raynor. Cathedral Church o f St.

Arthur Drury. Daily Planet Restaurant,

Free Library, Burlington, 863-3 4 0 3 .

Pauls, Burlington, 8 6 4 -0 4 7 1 . Through

Burlington, 8 6 2 -9 6 4 7 . Through April.

Closing reception April 28, 7 p.m.

May 8.

FORMATIVE EXPERIENCES, featuring

DRAWINGS FOR SHE LOVES YOU, fea

BOOK OBJECTS & NEW WINE TOP FOLLIES, by Roy Levin and Gabrielle

new sculpture by Kathryn W ysockey-

turing pen-and-ink illustrations by

Dietzel. Francis Colburn Gallery, U V M ,

Johnson and Lauren Cole, and work by

Lance Richbourg for the book o f the

Burlington, 6 5 6 -2 0 1 4 . Through April.

the faculty. Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury, 2 4 4 -1 1 2 6 . Reception M ay

same title by Elaine Segal. Fleming M useum , Burlington, 6 5 6 -0 7 5 0 .

ANNE FRANK: A HISTORY FOR TODAY,

2, 2-4 p.m.

Through July 18.

A nne Frank Center U SA in N ew York

a traveling historic exhibit from the

FRANK GUERRA, honors show. Francis

H0 MESCH00L ART, featuring the art

City. Burlington C ity Hall, 8 6 5 -7 1 6 6 .

Colburn Gallery, U V M , Burlington,

work o f hom e-schooled children. Rose

Through April.

6 5 6 -2 0 1 4 . Reception M ay 3, 5-7 p.m.

Street Gallery, 78 Rose St., Burlington,

BOMBS AWAY, collage reactions to the

Show only through M ay 6.

8 6 2 -3 6 5 4 . Through M ay 2. CROSSROADS, featuring work in clay

b om bing in Kosovo by U V M students

by students o f the Living/Learning

Bogan. O n e Wall Gallery, Seven Days,

i n

BURLITOT0 N A R K

M egan Palchak, Ellen Janson and Jason

Center’s Pottery &C Clay Sculpture

Burlington, 8 6 4 -5 6 8 4 . Through April.

Program. LVL Gallery, U V M ,

WILLARD ELMORE, figurative artwork

Burlington, 6 5 6 -4 2 0 0 . Through M ay 6.

by the self-taught artist. Rhom bus

HUGH T0WNLEY & EMILY BISSELL LAIRD, sculpture and paintings, respec

WIT AND WHIMSY, featuring watercol-

Gallery, Burlington, 8 6 5 -3 1 4 4 .

tively. Doll-Anstadt Gallery, Burlington,

or drawings by Hal Mayforth, m ixed-

Through M ay 7.

VALERIE UGR0 , recent artwork. Bread

8 6 4 -3 6 6 1 . M ay 1-30.

media and illustrations by Sarah Ryan.

COLOR FUSION, featuring handpainted

Flynn Gallery, Burlington, 6 5 2 -4 5 0 5 .

& Beyond, W illiston, 8 4 9 -6 1 8 5 .

w ood en bowls by Peggy Potter and art

Through June 4.

Through April.

quilts by Janet Kurjan. Frog H ollow Craft Center, Burlington, 863-6 4 5 8 .

IMAGINARY BEINGS: HEFFALUMPS AND ZEBRAFROTRILLAS, featuring art

paintings by H ugo Anderson, and

W in a FREE dessert if you

April 30 - M ay 31.

work by children from C O T S Families

ceram ic sculptures evoking ancient cul

in Transition program, sponsored by

tures by Peter Hayes. Doll-Anstadt

answ er these two questions

BENJAMIN ALBEE, ink and wash draw ings. D aily Planet Restaurant,

Very Special Arts Vermont. Borders

Gallery, Burlington, 8 6 4 -3 6 6 1 .

Burlington, 3 7 5 -2 2 8 2 . M ay 1-31. Also,

Cafe, 6 5 8 -6 6 1 2 . Through April.

Through April.

constructions in copper wire and flash

CATHARINE BALC0 & DON TEETER,

ing. M uddy Waters Cafe, Burlington,

recent paintings and drawings. W orking

TOM LAWSON, paintings, and DAVID POWELL, “T h e Veil o f M em phis and

M ay 1-31.

Design Gallery at the M en’s R oom ,

O ther Related Images for the Age o f

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SEVEN DAYS

DANIEL LUSK, figure drawings in char

Gallery, Burlington, 8 6 4 -3 6 6 1 .

tion o f sculpture, painting, installation

THISSUMMER:

page 36

Burlington, 8 6 4 -2 0 8 8 . Through May.

HUGO ANDERSON, DEBORAH RANDALL & PETER HAYES, featuring paintings

22 ITANGIBLES, featuring tim e-specif

8 6 4 -8 0 4 0 , ext. 121. Performance by H eloise W illiams, April 28; experimen

L e a r n cutting-edge media technologyfrom successful independentfilm makers at Burlington College!

PHOTO AND DESIGN '99, works in photography and graphic design by

april 28,1999

w e e kly

lis t in g s

SECRET CODES, m inim alist landscape

w w w . s e v e n d a y s v t . c o m

1820-1850, featuring artifacts and

N ew H o p e.” Red Square, Burlington, 859 -8 9 0 9 . Through M ay 1.

docum ents that examine h ow the state

WAITING FOR THE BREAD TO RISE AND OTHER VARIATIONS, handm ade

ance, religious diversity and more.

m onoprints from sketches outside the kitchen window, by Roy N ew ton . Red O n ion Cafe, Burlington, 8 6 5 -2 5 6 3 . Through M ay 23.

dealt w ith issues such as slavery, temper Verm ont Historical Society, Pavilion Building, Montpelier, 828 -2 2 9 1 . O ngoing.

SOMEWHERE IT'S SPRING, watercolors

HOMAGES, handm ade prints o f jazz

and oil pastels by Pria Cam bio. Cafe

musicians, Grand Isle farms and things, by Roy N ew ton . Pickering R oom ,

Delilah, Montpelier, 2 29-9649. Through April.

Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 863340 3 . Through April.

BRIDGES, oil paintings o f Vermont

FARR CROSS AND OTHER ROADS LESS TRAVELED, landscape paintings

Social Ecology, Plainfield, 4 5 4 -8 4 9 3 .

by Tad Spurgeon. Furchgott Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 9 8 5 -3 8 4 8 . Through May 5.

WENDY MOORE, m onotypes. Better Ba gel, W illiston, 8 7 9 -2 8 0 8 . Through May.

LESLIE FRY: Recent M onoprints. Enhancements, Burlington, 8 6 2 -2 5 0 5 . Through M ay 1.

GEORGE SMITH: SCULPTURE AND DRAWINGS, and TOIL AND SPIN: RECENT WORK BY KATHLEEN SCHNEIDER. Fleming M useum ,

bridges by D avid Smith. Institute for Through April.

FIFTEEN ARTISTS, TEN YEARS OF DIA LOGUE, a group show o f mixed media

B y M arc A wodey

by Verm ont artists. T.W. W ood Gallery,

eviathan, gargantuan, monumental — pick your favorite adjective. “The Big Picture: Large Format Photography” at Middlebury College Museum of Art is nothing short of a really big show. The photo murals on display are larger than most darkrooms, but these ample works by an international roster of major artists explore the unique qualities of their medium first. The pieces are not just grand for the sake of being grand; each is prodigious because the vision behind it is broad. Many of the works are “chromogenic development prints,” a color process that seems to saturate and height en colors. Among these are “Chicago Board ofTrade,” by German artist Andreas Gursky. The 73” x 95” photo graph portrays the circus atmosphere of a trading pit at the world’s largest commodity exchange. The traders wear different colored jackets according to their roles — intensely rich blues, yellows, purples, greens and reds, all of equal intensity — and are sur-

Montpelier, 8 2 8 -8 7 4 3 . Through May 9.

THE NAIVE SPIRIT, fine examples o f folk art from the permanent collection. T.W. W ood Gallery, Montpelier, 8288743. Through August 1.

THE WARMTH OF WORDS: W isdom and D elight T hrough Storytelling, fea turing recorded stories by Vermonters

Burlington, 6 5 6 -0 7 5 0 . Through May 16 and June 6, respectively.

aged 10 to 90. Vermont Folklife Center,

GRANNIS GALLERY, featuring the work

SILKSCREEN PRINTS by Sally Stetson.

o f designer/goldsm ith T im othy Grannis and other jewelry artists. Bank Street, Burlington, 6 6 0 -2 0 3 2 . O ngoing.

Shim m ering Glass Gallery, Waterbury,

Middlebury, 3 8 8 -4 9 6 4 . Through April.

2 4 4 -8 1 3 4 . O ngoing.

CONTEMPORARY ART, by painters Tom M erwin, Ellen H offm an, sculptors

CENTRAL VERMONT

Robert Ressler, D an George, photogra

HEAD START ART, featuring artwork

pher Suzanne Winterberger, and the

by children, parents and staff at

Edinboro Bookarts Cooperative.

C V C A C . K ellogg-H ubbard Library,

M erwin Gallery, Castleton, 4 6 8 -2 5 9 2 .

Children’s R oom , M ontpelier, 2 2 3 -

O ngoing.

1227. M ay 1-30.

SCRAP-BASED ARTS & CRAFTS, fea

RECENT M0N0PRINTS by Deborah

turing re-constructed objects o f all kinds

Fillion, Poppy Gall and Heidem arie

by area artists. T h e Restore, Montpelier,

Heiss H olm es. H orn o f the M oon Cafe,

2 2 9 -1 9 3 0 . O ngoing.

Montpelier, 2 2 3 -2 8 9 5 . M ay 3-1 6. HEATON WOODS ART, featuring art

FURNISHINGS AND PAINTINGS by

work by participants in an intergenerational art program betw een U n ion

Montpelier, 2 2 9 -5 8 9 9 . O ngoing.

Elem entary School and H eaton

NORTHERN

W oods. Berlin M all, Berlin, 2 2 3 -1 1 5 7 . M ay 7 -2 8 .

18TH ANNUAL STOWE STUDENT ART EXHIBIT, featuring artworks by local

SON AND EARTH, works in mixed m edia by Sally Keefe, M ichael Heffernan, Elizabeth N elson, M att Anderson and M elinda W hite. Chaffee Center for the Visual Arts, Rudand, 7 7 5 -0 3 5 6 . Through M ay 23.

THE CARVING STUDIO AND SCULP TURE CENTER ANNUAL MEMBERS SHOW, featuring work in m any styles.

Ruth Pope. Ruth Pope Gallery,

elementary, m iddle and high school stu dents. H elen D ay Art Center, Stowe, 2 5 3 -8 3 5 8 . April 29 - M ay 29.

ABRAHAM MCNULLY, 4 0 sculptures creating one work, “Tim e Experienced.” H elen D ay A n Center, Stowe, 2538358. April 29 - M ay 29.

JKYM, hand-dyed linen, canvas and silk hom e furnishings, wearable art. Johnson

Smaller works and tw o-d im en sion al art in the Chaffee Center, Rutland; larger

Artisan Shop, 6 3 5 -9 8 0 9 . Through

works installed at the C arving Studio,

April.

W est Rutland, 4 3 8 -2 0 9 7 . T hrough M ay 23. HOOKED IN THE MOUNTAINS, 200

19TH AND 20TH CENTURY AMERI CAN ARTISTS including landscape paintings by Verm ont artists Kathleen

select traditional hooked rugs b y con

Kolb, T hom as Curtin, Cynthia Price

temporary artists. Joslyn R ound Barn, Waitsfield, 8 7 8 -6 8 8 5 . Through M ay 2. THE ART IN THE CURRICULUM, featur

and more. Clarke Galleries, Stowe, 2537 1 1 6 . O ngoing.

ing the artwork o f Joy Spontak and her

Lorraine C. Manley. Sugar M ill Art

Crossett Brook M iddle School students.

Gallery, St. Albans, 8 9 3 -7 8 6 0 . Through April.

City Center, M ontpelier, 2 2 3 -5 6 2 4 . Through M ay 2.

FORESTS AND FIELDS, HILLS AND HOMES: 19th-C entury Verm ont Scenes

IMPRESSIONS, oil paintings by

ELSEWHERE FOCUS ON THE BODY, West African

by the Robinson Family, featuring pas

Body O rnam ents o f Brass. H ood

toral landscapes by Rowland E.

M useum o f Art, D artm outh College,

Robinson and his daughter Rachael Robinson Elmer. Sheldon M useum ,

Hanover, N .H ., 6 0 3 -6 4 6 -2 8 0 9 . Through September 19.

Middlebury, 3 8 8 -2 1 1 7 . T hrough July.

JACOB LAWRENCE, AESOP'S FABLES,

JIM RICHMOND, 35 years o f figurative

featuring pen-and-ink drawings for the

paintings and studies o f people and ani mals. Supreme C ourt Building,

classic tales. H ood M useum o f Art, Dartm outh College, Hanover, N .H .,

Montpelier, 8 2 8 -3 2 7 8 . T hrough M ay 7.

6 0 3 -6 4 6 -2 8 0 9 . Through June 20. ON ALL FRONTS: Posters from the

STUDIO PLACE ARTS SPRING EXHIBIT, featuring 23 artists w hose

W orld Wars in the Dartm outh

o f Barre’s N ich ols Block arts center.

C ollection, and SARAJEVO: RECENT WAR POSTERS, more than 100 original

Verm ont Arts C ou n cil’s Spodight

posters from W orld Wars I and II, and

work is shown in support o f renovation

Gallery, 136 State St., M ontpelier, 2 2 9 -

the siege o f Sarajevo. H ood M useum o f

2766 . Through April.

Art, Dartm ough College, Hanover,

KEN VAVREK: NEW WORK, ceramic

N .H ., 6 0 3 -6 4 6 -2 4 2 6 . Through July 4.

wall sculptures by the Philadelphia clay

MONET AT GIVERNY, Masterpieces

artist. Verm ont Clay Studio, Waterbury, 2 4 4 -1 1 2 6 . T hrough April 29.

from the M us& Marmottan, featuring 2 2 large paintings by Claude M onet,

THE BIG PICTURE, featuring large-for

inspired by his Parisian garden.

m at photography from European and

M useum o f Fine Arts, Montreal, 514-

American artists. M iddlebury C ollege

2 8 5 -1 6 0 0 . Through M ay 9. ®

M useum o f Art, 4 4 3 -2 0 6 9 . Through August 1.

P L E A S E N O T E : Seven Days is unable

BLOWING IN THE WIND, showcasing

to accommodate a ll o f the displays in our

Verm ont-m ade whirlygigs, weathervanes, kites, windsocks and mobiles.

restricted to exhibits in truly p u b lic view

Frog H ollo w State Craft Center, M id dlebury, 3 8 8 -3 1 7 7 . Through M ay 24.

a n d p rivate residences or studios, w ith

GENERATION OF CHANGE: VERMONT,

occasional exceptions, w ill n o t be accepted

readership area, thus these listings m ust be ing places. A r t in business offices, lobbies

"Body," by Patrick Tosani

brightly colored lounge chairs. Each of Vi tali’s photos mea sures 59” x 71” and, hung side by side, they form a dynamic composition tum bling toward an azure hori zon. This sweeps toward the right along a crowded seaside flanked by rhythmic, geomet ric piles of resort architecture and an almost empty, yet elec tric, aquamarine sea. Like Gursky’s piece, the colors As the Iona strand are intoned with an even richness. As the long strand of beach ventures toward its vanishing toward its vanishpoint, the bathers become a field of glow ing, commingling dots like those found in the pointillist fields of Seurat. “Body,” by French comminalina dots artist Patrick Tosani, is essentially an abstraction based on the human form. It too is a color, the oointillist fi chromogenic develop ment print, but the col ors are so muted that the image becomes a study of values. “Body” is a squatting rounded by broad areas of figure from shoe-sole perspec black and white. The figures tive, in which minute textures are caught in mid-scramble, are slowly overwhelmed by like a multi-colored hive of larger forms that radiate from bees cracked wide open for a the center of the image. TV nature show. Another color process is The diptych “Riccione,” represented by American by Italian artist Missimo Chuck Close. Best known for Vitali, uses the same photo his towering, close-up paint graphic process to portray a ings of the faces of people he similarly clustered array of tiny figures. His are thousands has known, Close offers “Anthurium,” a simple of roasting beach-goers in Polaroid of a flower. Snapped bathing suits, who rest on

Jjl;I finnan

B H 33TR 5T1

with an 80” x 40” camera, the image is more than 9 feet tall. It is really two pictures over lapped and mounted together on a long sheet of aluminum. “Anthurium” is a bright red, fleshy, heart-shaped plant suit able for Invasion o f the Body Snatchers. Unlike most o f the artists in this show, Close has used monumental photogra phy to make a small thing large, rather than to capture a broad purview. The largest piece in the exhibit is the 97” x 119” “Photo Respiration #276 Koto-ku Aomi,” by Tokihiro Sato o f Japan. Sato has a strong conceptual basis to his work; each is a self-portrait of the artist interacting with an environment. In this blackand-white, silver-print photo, he is seen as a complex tangle of white lines at the base of a huddle of skyscrapers. The image was created with a long exposure taken at night, as the artist furiously waved around a pen light until he was com pletely obscured beneath his own movements. The build ings around him loom like unaware giants in the urban nocturne, as the swirling threads of Sato’s light gather into a wide knot at the fore ground of the piece. Titanic, whopping, jumbo — the list of superlatives goes on. But these big pictures work for the same reasons that small pictures do: The artists’ points of view are always more important than the vistas. ®

"The Big Picture: Large Format Photography,” Middlebury College Museum of Art. Through August 1.

april 28,1999

SEVEN DAYS

page 37

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most about the picture, too. The surefooted and always surprising way it unfolds, opening petal by petal, like a flower of evil. Just when you think you know these people and have gotten a grip on their lives, Jacobson takes you a little further in, a little closer to the heart of the tragedy, and everything suddenly takes on new and darker meaning. Despite cheery signposts like Robert AIR HEAD Cusack stars in the latest from M ike Newell, a com e Frost paperbacks and dy about traffic controllers that never quite gets off the ground. “Vermont” sweatshirts, this is a psychic trip MY MOTHER'S EARLY LOVERS*** down shadowy and unfamiliar backroads. Nora PUSHING TIN ** Jacobson proves herself a skilled and knowing It’s a sorry weekend for Hollywood when two guide. new big-budget, massively promoted titles hit Pushing Tin, on the other hand, is a flight to theaters and the number-one film in the country comedy that misses its connections. Mike winds up being a wacky effectsfest that’s been Newell, who gave us Four Weddings and a out for a month. To make matters even weirder: Funeral, can’t even come up with one or two I saw several movies over the past few days, many well-defined characters and a situation that of them with budgets well into the millions, and makes sense this time around. John Cusack plays the most captivating by far was a humble shoe a hot-shot flight controller who’s either burned string of a marvel by Vermont filmmaker Nora out, no longer in love with his wife, a chronic Jacobson. womanizer or an alcoholic insomniac. Billy Bob M y Mothers Early Lovers is the first dramatic Thornton co-stars as the new hot-shot flight feature from the award-winning Norwich-based controller in town. He’s either the strong, silent director. The picture adapts Vermont author type, a middle-aged prankster or a spiritually Sybil Smith’s autobiographical memoir and stars advanced master of enlightenment. Sue Ball in the role of a young woman whose Just as the two can’t seem to decide whether mother has died, and whose father has decided they want to be cowboy rivals or blood brothers, to put the family home up for sale. In going the script’s writers apparently couldn’t make up through some of her mother s possessions she their minds as to whether they wanted to pen a discovers a diary written in the woman’s youth hard-edged study of characters under stress or and, through it, a side of her the daughter never Airplane-style shtick about cartoons in a pressure knew existed. cooker. The result is an only occasionally divert The film, in fact, tells two stories. One, in ing pile-up of story elements that squanders any black and white, traces the path which leads the number of promising opportunities for exploring writer of the diary through a series of relation the rarely glimpsed world of the air-traffic con ships and ultimately into a marriage with a dis troller, as well as the talents of a conspicuously turbing secret just beneath its surface. The other talented cast. takes place in the present and deals with the fam Cusack’s been something of a frequent flyer ily’s surviving members, their various dependen in the course of his career, lifting off toward a cies and dysfunctions, and the daughter’s deter world of promise-filled tomorrows, with lone mination to come to terms with the truth at the heart of the family’s troubles. The stories are mir Skye at the end of Say Anything and catching a ride in Con Air. This time the skies we fly with ror images of one another, and Jacobson proves him are friendly enough. They’re just not terribly deft in the way she weaves the two together. entertaining. ® Thats perhaps the element I appreciated film s

J E W E L R Y

S A L E !

'ca

H O U R S ,

M O N D A Y

6 5 8 - 4 0 5 0

page 38

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- F R I D A Y

1 1 5 C O L L E Q E

SEVEN DAYS

A p r il 3 0

10-7, S A T U R D A Y S T R E E T ,

10-6, S U N D A Y

8 U R L I N Q T O N ,

april 28,1999

V T

s H fw t im e s ETHAN ALLEN CINEMAS 4 North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040. A Bug's Life 12:15, 2:15, 6:45. A Simple Plan 4:05, 9. Deep End the 12, 7. EdTV 2:10, 4:30, 9:15. Saving Private Ryan 12:45, ^75. 8 . 8MM 12:30, 3, 5:20, 7:45. The Faculty 10:05. Eve shows daffy, matinees Sat-Sun unless otherwise indicated. CINEMA NINE Shelburne Road, S. Burlington, 864-5610 Entrapment* 12, 2:30, 5, 7:25, 9:50. Idle Hands* 12:20, 2:45, 5:10, 7:30, 10. Closed Caption* 1 & 7 (Fri. only). Life 12:45, 3:45, 7:20, 9:55. Lost and Found 12:10, 2:35, 4:55, 7:15, 9:35. The Out of Towners 1 (not Fri.), 3:50, 7 (not Fri.), 9:20. Pushing Tin 12:50, 3:40, 6:40, 9:40. 10 Things I Hate About You 4:40, 7:10, 9:25. Matrix 12:40, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30. Never Been Kissed 12, 2:25, 4:50, 7:15, 9:45. Doug's First Movie 12:30, 2:40. All shows daily. SHOWCASE CINEMAS 5 Wllistcn Road, S. Bulington, 863-4494. Entrapment* 12:30, 3, 6:50, 9:30. Forces of Nature 7, 9:20. Lost and Found 12:50, 3:20, 7:10, 9:35. Go 1, 3:25, 7:15, 9:40. Matrix 12:40, 3:30, 6:40, 9:25. Doug's First Movie 1:15, 3:15. All shows Sat/Sun. Eves only Mon-Fri.

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NICKELODEON CINEMAS College Street, Burlington, 863-9515. My Mother's Early Lovers* 1:10, 3:30, 6:50, 9:10 (9:45 Fri. only). Analyze This 1:40, 4:10, 7:10, 9:40. Never Been Kissed 1:50, 4:20, 7:20, 9:50. Shakespeare in Love 1:20, 3:50, 6:40, 9:20. Life is Beautiful 1, 3:40, 6:30, 9. All shows daily. THE SAVOY Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509. Hilary and Jackie 6:30, 8:55. Film s a t the fo llow ing theaters are n o t available a t press time. Please c a ll fo r info.

SUNSET DRIVE-IN Colchester, 862-1800. CAPITOL THEATRE 93 State Street, Montpelier, 229-0343. PARAMOUNT THEATRE 241 North Main Street, Barre, 479-9621. STOWE CINEMA Baggy Knees Shopping Center, Stowe, 253-4678. MAD RIVER FLICK Route 10 0 , Waitsfield, 496-4200. MARQUIS THEATER Main Street, Middlebury, 388-4841. WELDEN THEATER 104 No. Main Street, St. Albans, 527-7888.

1 2 - 5

0 5 4 0 1

weekly

listings

on w w w . s e v e n d a y s v t . c o m

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the hoyts cinemas

FiLMQuIZ cosponsored by Video W orld Superstore

previews ENTRAPMENT The Mask o f

Zorros Catherine Zeta-Jones stars here as an insurance inves tigator posing as a master thief in order to catch a master thief played by Sean Connery in the latest from Jon ( The M an Who Knew Too Little) Amiel. With Ving Rhames and Will Patton. IDLE HANDS Devon Sawa stars in this horror-comedy combo

about a 17-year-old whose right hand develops a mind of its own. Rodman Flender directs.

new .. on video STEPMOM* From Mrs.

Doubtfire director Chris Columbus comes this weeper about the relationship between an ailing, abandoned wife and her ex-husband’s new girlfriend. Susan Sarandon and Julia

Roberts star. (PG-13) AT FIRST SIGHT* * 1/2 Uh-oh.

Val Kilmer alert! This time around the inexplicably employed headcase plays a guy who, blind from birth, has his sight surgically restored. Now if they could just do that with Kilmer’s talent. Mira Sorvino co-stars. (PG-13) ELIZABETH**** Cate Blanchett stars in this look at the life of the 16th-century royal. (R)

sh o rts rating

scale:

* -

5jC* * #

NR = not reviewed

the hardest working ’toon in show ducer Kevin Williamson here does for sci-fi movies what he did for business. His popular half-hour behind bars and share a few — the horror genre with his Scream show appears on both The very few — laughs along the way films. Namely, use them as an Nickelodeon Channel and ABC. in the latest from Eddie Murphy. excuse to recycle other peoples’ Now he makes the leap to the big Martin Lawrence co-stars. Ted screen with this full-length feature ideas, Elijah Wood arid Laura Demme directs. (R) Harris star in this often tiresome from director Maurice Joyce. LOST & FOUND* *1/2 David Spade hybrid of Invasion o f the Body Featuring the vocal stylings of stars here as a lovestruck nut who Snatchers and “Dawson Creek.” Billy West and Fred Newman. (G) thinks the way to a woman’s heart NEVER BEEN KISSED*** Drew (R) is through her dog. And so he A SIMPLE PLAN**** Horror vet Barrymore stars here as a Chicago steals it. Also featuring Sophie Sam Raimi directs this darldsh magazine writer who researches a Marceau and Neil Diamond. Jeff saga concerning two brothers who piece on todays youth by going Pollack directs. (PG-13) find $4 million in a downed plane undercover and attending high HIIARY AND JACKIE* * 172 Emily and a heap of trouble when they school. And Raja Gosnell directs. Watson and Rachel Griffiths por attempt to take off with the David Arquette co-stars. (PG-13) tray a pair of musically gifted sib money. With Bill Paxton, Billy FORCES OF NATURE* * 172 Uh-oh, lings who play together but evenBob Thornton and Bridget Fonda. tually grow apart. From director Sandra Bullock Alert! The bubbly Anand Tucker. (R) flop magnet tries to drag Ben (R) EDTV*** Surprisingly enough, GO*** From Swingers director Affleck down with her this time, Ron Howard’s new real life-as-TV Doug Liman comes this dark as the two make an unlikely love comedy about a group of friends connection in this romantic come- comedy isn’t based on The Truman arid what befalls them when a** - X conceived by executives at -fffhow, but rather an obscure 1994 Dreamworks. Bronwen H u gh es.C an ad ian picture called LouisXIX: drug deal goes bad. Katie Holmes, directs. (PG-13) A i 4? ^ King oftheAirw aves^m that it Scott Wolf and Jay Mohr star. (R) matters, since everyone on Earth is ~ COOKIE'S FORTUNE**?* Many **j 'ANALYZE THIS* * * 172 Harold |l critics are calling Robert Altman’s £ Ramis has a knack for memorable^ going to compare it to Peter Weir’s movie* anyway. Matthew -7 smarter-than-average comedies, latest his best film since 1992’s McConaughey stars in the role of and this looks like it qnight make The Player. Made on a relative his hit list one longer. Billy Crystal Tru... I mean Ed. (PG-13) shoestring, the picture boasts bigticket talent like Liv Tyler, Glenn jjj iplays a suburban shrink. Robert A 8 MM * * 172 Written by the guy behind Seven arid directed by Joel Close, Julianne Moore $nd Chris . iD e $iro 6>stais as His newest F O’Donnell, and concerns a feed^'y \patiefitfa powerfi$jm ob boss. ;" [Flatliners, Falling Down) fidiu^®cher, the latest from!,' . ing frenzy that breaks out between (With L^Kudrow. (R) Ac b e n e f i t of m s s s e ^ c .' f f ‘S HA^PEARE B j i O W ^ o f e Nicqlas Cage promises a ride well into the dark side as the actoi widow’s -g | Brown) Madden directs this plays a detective tracking the makTHE MATRIX** * 172 Unfazed by- Sip wisely praiSd look at what the the box office floppage of his last.;‘|"%lrly years of the barfi career and- ers of st grisly snuff film. With Joaquin Phoenix and James sci-fi effectsfest [Johnny love life might have been like. Gandolfini. (R) Mnemonic) Reey^ doc^^J. Joseph Fiennes^nd Gwyneth THE DEEP END OF THE the futuristic thing again in this § ||| Paltrow star. (R) OCEAN* * 172 Ulu (Georgia) digital free-for-all about terrorists LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL* 11 who battle evil computers. With Roberto Benigni’s Holocaust com- Grosbard directs and Michelle T ClrkUnm ' edv In rv Prize at 'Pfeiffer stars in this Pfeiffer Stars this hip-screen big-screen verLaurence Fishburn. Umr Larry and edy took took the the Grand Grand Jury at Andy Wachowski direct. (R) this year’s Cannes festival. In addi- ' sjon of Jacquelyn Mitchard’s Oprah-sancdoned novel about a - tion to directing and co-writing, TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUTA he also stars as an Italian-Jewish woman who misplaces her child in YOU** 172 You’d never guess it by a crowded hotel lobby. Treat father who tries to shield his son looking at our mean I.Q. scores, from the truth about concentra but were apparendy a nation of tion camps by pretending the co-star. (PG-13) rabid Shakespeare fanatics. First whole thing’ s an elaborate contest WING COMMANDER** Freddie there was that Best Picture Oscar. with great prizes. (PG-13) Prinze Jr. leads a cast of twenNow The Taming o f the Shrew gets A BUG'S LIFE**** Antz may have ’ ‘ ‘in an attack on tysomethings updated as the story of a popular aliens who, as per usual, want to made it to the theaters first, but sophomore who’s forbidden to take over the world. Based on the Pixar’ s clever computer-driven have a boyfriends until her older popular computer game series. comedy had no trouble commit sister gets one, too. Julia Stiles and ting insecticide at the box office. (PG-13) Larisa Oleynik star. (PG-13) 200 CIGARETTES** RisaBramon Featuring the voices of Dave THE OUT-OF-TOWNERS*** From Garcia directs this Who’s Who of Foley, Kevin Spacey and David the director of George o f the Jungle hip young cinema. Jay Mohr, Ben Hyde Pierce. (G) comes this update of Neil Simon’s Affleck, Courtney Love, Martha SAVING PRIVATE RYAN*** 1970 comedy about a couple Plimpton, Janeane Garofalo and, Steven Spielberg’s WWII you-arewhose marriage and sanity are put of course, Christina Ricci star in a here effects-fest did a decent tour to the test by a visit to New York. saga of twentysomethings in of duty at the Golden Globe and Goldie Hawn and Steve Martin search of meaningful comingling, Academy awards. (R) star. (PG-13) circa 1981. (R) THE FACULTY* * 172 Writer-proDOUG'S FIRST MOVIE* * 172 He’s LIFE*172Two cons grow old

film features Time for one of the most popular versions of our quiz in which we test your powers of reconstructive thinking with an assortment of fam ous features, for which we need the owners' fam ous names...

a a For more film fun don’t forget to watch "Art Patrol" every Thursday and Friday on News Channel 5!

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NONE!

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SEVEN DAYS

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F o llo w y o u r o w n p a th to lif e lo n g le a r n in g By M arialisa Calta urlington-area diners are blessed with several excellent ethnic eateries, but for those of us in Central Vermont, the “spice” of life is in shorter supply. There’s The Single Pebble — the extraordi nary Chinese restaurant on the Barre-Montpelier Road — and then there’s not much. But Marsala Salsa makes up for the lack of dining diversity by cast ing a wide culinary net. Housed in a former hard ware store, the Mexican-West Indian restaurant is owned by chef Jan Chotalal, a Trinidad native who moved to Vermont to join her sister, Wantie Bartlett. Bartlett had cooked at Miguel’s and created the first menu for the Cactus Ca£6, both in Stowe. The pair opened Marsala Salsa six years ago, offering a mix of cuisines that have warmth, spice and color in common. The restaurant is named for the Mexican condi ment and the Indian spice — commonly spelled in Englishlanguage cookbooks as “masala.” Chotalal says “marsala” is a West Indian variation. “The spices in Indian and Mexican cooking are the same,” says Chotalal, a small, trim woman with lively, large, B

dark eyes. “Chilies, cumin, cilantro, coriander, garlic — the list goes on. So it was easy to pair the two on a menu.” The Mexican part includes standard offerings — enchi ladas, burritos, quesadillas, tacos and fajitas. The remain der of the menu includes many standard East Indian dishes, such as Tandoori chicken and Vindaloo beef, cooked with a West Indian flair. The dishes prepared in jerk marinade give a nod to the Caribbean. Tandoori chicken, the clas sic Punjabi dish, is traditionally cooked in a tandoor — domed, clay and brick — oven. But at Marsala Salsa, it’s simmered on the stovetop in a homemade mixture of tandoori spices — typically cinnamon, cumin, coriander, cloves, cayenne and mace. Coconut cream sauce gives it a West Indian twist. The result is hearty, warming, complex and delicious, and the dish is even more inviting served on well-warmed and colorful Italian pottery. The restaurant is spacious, and seating is limited to 54, because, Chotalal says, “I like space when I’m eating.” To my eye, however, the tables in the center of the room look marooned. Nevertheless, my husband and I were happy, on

a recent evening, at a cozy cor ner table in a window nook. Three separate rooms — a Mexican room done in earth tones, an East Indian room in dark blues and greens, and a Caribbean room with painted palm trees, drummers and dancers — make for an invit ing atmosphere, as do the twinkly lights in the front win dow. The tables are covered with colorful cloths and ceram ic tile serves in lieu of a placemat at each setting. Patrons that Friday night were a mix of couples and fam ilies — there’s a children’s menu including tacos, burgers and grilled cheese sandwiches. Marsala Salsa often features local musicians on Friday nights, but on the night we went the sound system was serving a mix of Spanish guitar, steel drums and jazz. Our dinner began with a plate of “mini” chimichangas ($4.95) — a dish I always like to order because it’s so much fun to say. We chose the veggie version, and received a generous portion of tiny flour tortillas filled with broccoli, cabbage and carrots, deep-fried and served with a mild salsa-sour cream dip. They might be best described as Mexican spring rolls.

M arsala Salsa, Stowe Street, Waterbury, 2 4 4 -1 1 5 0 . Open Monday through Saturday, dinners only, 5 -1 0 p.m. Visa, Mastercard and personal checks accepted. Reservations recommended for parties of five or more.

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SEVEN DAYS

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Both of us were drawn to the West Indian dishes, including Curried Chicken or Beef ($10.25), Shrimp Shaag, a light curried shrimp with spinach ($12.50), and Grilled Jerk Chicken ($11.95). We settled on the Grilled Island Shrimp, marinated in a mild jerk sauce with a touch of orange ($12.50), and the Vindaloo Chicken ($10.25), which was highlighted on the menu with the words “pro ceed with caution.” My husband, a fan of Szechuan cuisine, was undaunted, but our waitress insisted on bringing him a sample of the homemade vin daloo spice. We were grateful; just a tiny drop of the mix ture — Scotch bonnet pep pers cooked with the seeds for maximum heat, and ginger, garlic and chili powder — all but destroyed our taste buds. My husband instead settled — happily, it turned out — on the Tandoori Chicken ($10.25). Despite the heat, Chotalals vindaloo dishes have a devoted following, she told us later. The tandoori dish came with the “house rice” — made with garlic and cilantro — vegetables and naan, the puffy Indian bread. My Island Shrimp was tastily and mildly spiced, and was served with the house rice and a crunchy

West IndianV SEVEN, PAyJv’,,'

april 28,

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salad of cabbage, watercress, cucumbers and black-eyed peas. My husband had a beer. Following the advice o f a friend who is a frequent patron, I ordered a margarita, a house specialty. As I am no a connoisseur o f the drink, all I can say is that it was large, frosty and no chore to drink. Service throughout the meal was well-timed, friendly and helpful. Diners in search of more prosaic fare have a choice of steak ($12.25) and fried chicken ($10.95). For dessert we opted for the bread pudding ($4.95) over the pumpkin flan, coconut creme caramel or the popular deep-fried, honeydipped bananas served with ice cream and chocolate sauce. Rum in the bread pud ding gave it that warm, Christmasy taste, though the Marsala Salsa version was a bit overcooked for my taste. The standard portion, gar nished with both whipped and ice cream, is huge — two o f us could not eat the whole thing. The women o f Marsala Salsa — Five o f them, includ ing kitchen and wait staff — have created a tiny oasis of tropical warmth in the wintry north. “In Trinidad, every meal would be a feast,” recalls Chotalal. And so it is at her > J* restaurant.®

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W h at SEVEN DAYS C U IS IN E

The Food Issue

C o m in g t o a c o n v e n ie n t lo c a t io n n e a r y o u : M a y 1 2 A d d e a d lin e : M a y 7 th

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deadline: monday, 5 pm • phone 802.864.5684 • fax 802.865.1015 L IN E ADS: 25 words for $7. Over 25 words: 300 a word. Longer running ads are discounted. Ads must be prepaid. D ISP LA Y ADS: $13 per col. inch. Group buys for employment display ads are available with the Addison Independent, the St. Albans Messenger, the Milton Independent and the Essex Reporter. Call for more details. V ISA and M A ST E R C A R D accepted. And cash, of course.

EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT ARE YOU FASHION CON SCIOUS and love fun, comfort

able, natural-fiber clothing? If so, how about joining the team at Clay’s? We’re looking for motivated and outgoing team players for sales positions with room for growth & advance ment. Call 879-0212 x l. BOOKSTORE HELP: Part-time, 18-20 hrs./wk., some eves, weekends. Used book experi ence preferred, but will train right person. Potential for more hours. Send resume to: Books, PO Box 8423, Burlington, VT 05402-8423.

COORDINATOR, PART-TIME,

for the Sister City Program. Some Spanish and good orga nizational skills needed. Send letter of interest and resume to BPCSCP, 21 Church St., Burlington, VT 05401. DELIVERY DRIVERS, LINE COOKS & PIZZA COOKS need

ed at La Villa in Shelburne. Good pay & a nice working atmosphere. Call Jill, 985-2596.

TASTE of the GOOD LIFE

Work with a company that values individual growth and learning while providing above industry wages starting up to $8.00/hour for experienced third shift custodian. Join our quick service restaurant team and enjoy the kind of good life that keeps getting better.

ALL POSITIONS Apply in person at your local McDonald’s anytime! We are an equal opportunity employer e-mail application or resume to quesnels@aoi.com.

FARM HOUSE CHEESE MAKER: Organization with

environmental mission seeks full-time individuals until year’s end. Make, cut, wax, wrap & ship. Apply to Ross Gagnon, Shelburne Farms, Shelburne, VT 05482 FINE HANDCRAFTS SUR ROUND you at Shimmering

Glass & Stowe Craft. Be part of it. Join our team. Opportunities for a salesper son, design center manager and a stained-glass artist. Required experience with art, craft, interior design or retail. Write Stowe Craft, 55 Mountain Rd., Stowe, VT 05672. Fax 253-8109, or email sfishl230@aol.com.

Otter Creek Food Co-op is seeking full-time store management of a newly formed cooperative. Applicant must have experi ence in natural foods coopera tive retail setting. Supervisory & customer service skills a must. Work with an active board, committed membership & staff to help shape & impliment our vision for our co-op. Resume to: OCFC, PO Box 359, Vergennes, VT 05491. GENERAL MANAGER:

INTERNET COMMERCE TEAM

seeks active, outdoors, cre ative, quirky indiv. w/ HTML, Windows, Mac, networking & retail exp. to assist in rapidly growing internet & catalog business. F/T, salary/benefits. Replies to Kent, Outdoor Gear Exchange, 191 Bank St., Burlington, VT 05401. employment@gearx.com.

Retail Manager Join our growing retail furniture business specializing in solid hardwood furniture and accessories. We are looking for an energetic and detail-oriented person to coordinate all areas of our retail operations. Position includes motivating and train ing sales staff, merchandising, purchasing, sales and inventory management, and providing a high level of customer service. Knowledge of furniture and fabrics preferred. If you enjoy promoting a quality product, and are looking for an excep tional work environment, please submit your resume.

Retail Sales

■ M c D o n a ld ’s ®

Car

CAR SUDDENLY SHUTS DOWN AT 60 MPH. Dear Tom and Ray, I have recently pur chased a used 1994 Pontiac Bonneville SSEi. It has 92,000 miles on it and seemed to run fine, until last night. M y wife and I were returning home from visiting our daughter at college. About 30 miles into the trip, on a smooth highway, the entire car suddenly shut down while we were traveling at 60 mph. No engine, no headlights, no instru ment lights, no nothing. I tried restarting the car, but it wouldn't restart. As I was trying to bring the car to a safe stop, everything suddenly came back on. I restart ed the engine, and we made it home without incident. Needless to say, though, it was

We have an opening for a full-time sales associate. We’re looking for a personable and motivated individual to be part of our team. If you believe in promoting a quality product and enjoy working with customers in a pleasant environment, please apply.

Burlingon Futon Co. 388 Pine Street, Burlington

a pretty tense 20 seconds or sol Any ideas what to look fo ri I talked to the local Pontiac dealer who said that i f everything except the engine died, then it could be the "body control module. "But the engine D ID die. I don't want to ju st let him go wild at $60/hr. How do you suggest we solve this mysteryl — Ken RAY: Well, congratulations on already solving one mystery, Ken. Now you know why the previous owner sold this car! TOM: This is a tough one. But if I had to guess, I’d say you had an interruption of current at the fire wall. The fire wall is the wall that separates the engine compartment from the passenger compartment. RAY: Right. And all the electri cal current that makes the car work—including the current

BURLINGTON

MANUFACTURING/WAREHOUSE: Disassemble/reassem-

ble toner cartridges, shipping, receiving, stocking shelves. Must have good mechanical skills, fast learner. Good pay/benefits. Resume to: PO Box 878, Williston, VT 05495.

OUTDOOR JEWELRY CART ON

Church St. Marketplace seeks salesperson—part-time until 6/15, then full-time (30-35 hrs./wk.) until Labor Day. Apply in person Saturdays, 114 or call 453-4433 (morns.).

OUTDOOR SUMMER WORK:

Socially responsible, serviceoriented, top-end residential painting company seeks bright, team-oriented men & women for summer employment. Painters w/ some exterior expe rience welcome; training also available for entry-level posi tions. Call Paul, Lafayette Painting, 863-5397.

Northeastern Family Institute

Northeastern Family institute, an expanding statewide provider of mental health treat ment services for children, adolescents and families, is seeking a DIRECTOR for its COM M UNITY BASED SERVICES PROGRAM . Experienced person sought for a well established, innovative, intensive treatment program providing wrap-around, therapeutic foster care and specialized services. Responsibilities include all adminis trative, fiscal and clinical management. Candidates must possess a masters degree and three years experience in a clinical administrative position. Licensed candidates are preferred. Please send resumes to Michelle Willis, NFI, P.O. Box 1415, Williston, VT 05495, 802-879-6197 fax.

FUTON COMPANY

for the engine— has to pass through the fire wall. TOM: I can't remember the wiring details of the ’94 SSEi, but most cars have several elec trical harnesses that run right through the fire wall. And my guess is that you have a loose connection there. RAY: With the engine running, ask your mechanic to start shaking all of the wires in these harnesses on both sides of the fire wall. If you can cause the failure to occur by shaking the wires, that'll give you a pretty good hint as to where the prob lem is. TOM: But if this test doesn't yield any information, then you're going to have to start replacing stuff, because this problem is dangerous. And I'd start with the body control and engine control modules.

How can you tell i f a used car is in good condition— or even OK, for that matterl Find out by ordering Tom and Ray s pam phlet "How to Buy a Great Used Car: Things That Detroit and Tokyo Don't Want You to Know." Send $3 and a stamped (55 cents), self-addressed, No. 10 envelope to Used Car, PO Box 6420, Riverton, N J 080776420. Got a question about carsl Write to Click and Clack in care o f this newspaper, or email them by visiting the Car Talk section of cars.com on the World Wide Web.

Retail Sales W a n t a fun summer job selling unique products for the home while earning a competitive wage? C om e to Mesa Factory Store locat ed on the corner of Battery and Main in downtown Burlington and ask for Karyn. Full- and part-tim e positions available.

802.652.0800

M ESA

pleasenote:refunds cannot be granted for any reason, adjustments will be credited to the advertiser’s account toward future classifieds placement only, we proofreJTcarefully, but even so, mistakes can occur, report errors at once, as seven days will not be responsible for errors continuing beyond the first printing, adjustment for error is limited to republication, in any event, liability for errors (or omissions) shall not exceed the cost of the space occupied by such an error (or omission), all advertising is subject to review by seven days, seven days reserves the right to edit, properly categorize or decline any ad without comment or appeal.

m m

7D Classifieds • 864.5684 EMPLOYMENT ANNOUNCERETAIL FLOWER & BEDDING MENTS plant salespeople wanted: Starts May 1st. Full- & parttime positions. Flower & gar den enthusiasts encouraged to apply. Call Oakwood Farms, Essex Ctr., 434-5101 Leave message. SCREEN PRINTER WANTED

for busy shop. Applicants must have 2 yrs. experience printing on a wide variety of substrates, with knowledge of reclamation, color matching & screen preparation (this is NOT a Tshirt printing position). Call Don, Alchemy Studios, 655-6251. ST. LAWRENCE UNIVERSITY, DIR. OF FACILITIES OPERA TIONS: Correction: Our recent

ad for this position should have included the following statement: Candidates inter ested in the position should have a bachelor’s degree in an appropriate field, and 1 0 years (preferred) of management experience in a large organiza tion. Please see our Web site at www.stlawu.edu for further information. SUMMER EMPLOYMENT:

Vermont Expos are looking for responsible individuals to work part-time for the 1999 base ball season. Please call 6554200 for more information. SUMMER JOBS! Literacy, kids, fun. AmeriCorps*VISTA. Call 865-7185.

BUSINESS OPP. WE’RE LOOKING FOR AN

ambitious entrepreneur or cou ple to get started in a homebased business representing the leading manufacturer of high-tech air and water puri fiers. Will train you every step. Full- or part-time. Call CRISP AIR, 244-8344, or fax 244-8567.

VERMONT EXPOS ARE IN

need of people to house play ers for the 1999 season. Please call 655-4200 for more information. UNLOCK YOUR NATURAL DESIRE TO EXERCISE, untan

gle from stress, energize your body and attain your ideal body weight! A fun, no strug gle workshop, learning power ful techniques combining Self hypnosis, NLP, Reiki, Congruent Affirmations, Aromatherapy and Guided Imagery. Thursday Evenings from 6:30-8:30 p.m., May 6 through May 27 at the Shelburne Athletic Club. Led by VT’s Personal Health Coach, Tod Backe, RMT and Certified Hypnotherapist, Victoria Catani, CHt, RMT, Co-founders of Essential Symmetry. Space is limited! Register Early! Complete course only $129. Sign up by April 26 for just $99. To register or for more details, phone 651-7666, or email healing@together.net. 1 0 % of proceeds donated to Make A Wish Foundation.

RESEARCH VOLUNTEERS HEALTHY MALES AGES 184 5 . Earn up to $790 or more

for your participation in a study on the effects of com monly used medications. Must be available weekdays during working hours. Conducted at UVM. Call 656-9620.

AUTOMOTIVE California car, fully-equipped., 90K orig. mi., desert tan, roof rack, lots of new parts, runs great. Moving, must sell. $4,000 o.b.o. 652-4056. ’79 VW CAMPER,

AUTOMOTIVE maroon, new tires, nice body, sun roof, needs some work. $ 1 ,0 0 0 . Call Don, 860-1044 or mayak@globalnetisp.net. ’95 VW JETTA, green w/ sun roof & 75K miles (mostly high way) in great condition! Brand new exhaust & snow tires. $9,500 o.b.o. Eve, 864-5684 or 496-6659. '88 VW JETTA GL,

I^ T / H W iS C

FOR RENT BURLINGTON: 2-bdrm. apt. Great location. Walk to down town & Battery Park. Updated kitchen, hdwd. firs., sunny porch, off-street parking. $580/mo. Avail, in May. 860-3305.

APT7H0USE FOR RENT

BURLINGTON: Clean, 3-bdrm. Victorian apt. Gas heat, hdwd. firs., parking, no pets or smok ers. $825/mo + utils. Avail. 6/1. 658-3114.

BURLINGTON:

BUY CARS! FROM $ 500.

Upcoming seizure/surplus sales. Sport, luxury & economy cars. For current listings call 1-800-311-5048 ext. 1738. SEIZED CARS FROM $ 500.

Sport, luxury & economy cars, trucks, 4x4s, utility and more. For current listings call 1-800311-5048 ext. 2239.

REAL ESTATE HOMES FROM $ 5,000.

Foreclosed and repossessed. No or low down payment. Credit trouble OK. For current listings call 1-800-311-5048 ext.3478.

OFFICE/ BUSJSTUDIO SPACE Office avail, in historic bldg. Prime downtown location. Parking. Warehouse & shipping avail, on premises. $500/mo. 862-0933. MIDDLEBURY: Middlebury Holistic Health Center has bright offices & classroom/ group room space available. Flexible options, including one-day-a-week rentals for ofices & single-use rentals for the group room. Meditation groups, yoga teachers & others wanted. The group room is suitable for meetings, lectures, classes & more. 388-4800. BURLINGTON:

2-bdrm. apt., S. Union & Main St., porches, hdwd. firs., parking. No smokers/pets. $725/mo., incl. heat & hot water. Avail. 6/1. 864-2618.

BARRE to BURLINGTON. I am

a student looking for a ride M,W,F, 8 a.m. Flex, return. (3051)

idnnection

HINESBURG to BURLINGTON.

Call 864-CCTA to respond to a ^ lis tin g or to be listed.

I am looking for a ride to the UMall M-F, 9:30 a.m. (3040)

GRAND ISLE to BURLINGTON.

HUNTINGTON to IBM:

I work the first shift and am looking to catch a ride to work with some one M-F. (3140)

am looking for a ride one way to work, M-F. I have to be in by 7 a.m. (3070)

UNDERHILL/RICHMOND to MIDDLEBURY: Going my way?

SO. BURLINGTON to TAFTS CORNERS: I am looking for a

would like to share the ride to and from work. My hours are 8:30 to 5 p.m., M-F. (3142)

BRISTOL to BURLINGTON: I

would like to share driving to work to cut down on the wear and tear on my car. I work 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., M-F. (3131) LINCOLN/BRISTOL to SO. BURLINGTON: I’m looking to

share driving 4 days/wk. My hrs. are 8:30 to 5 p.m. (3126) JOHNSON to BURLINGTON: I

am a student looking for a ride to school M-F, 8 to 4. I really need a ride TO school, I could arrange for a ride home if neces sary. (3102) SO. BURLINGTON to IBM: I

am looking for a ride to work, I am on the 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. shift with rotating days. (3090) MILTON to COLCHESTER: I am looking for a ride to work. I could meet at the Chimney Corners Park & Ride. My hours are 11 a.m. to 7 p.m., Tues.Sat. w/ some flexibility. (3095) ESSEX JCT./BURL. to ST. ALBANS: I am looking for a ride

to work. My hours are 6 a.m. to 5 p.m., M-F with flexible evening hours. (3088)

BURLINGTON to MONTPELIER:

I am looking for a ride to the National Life Building. My hours are 8 to 5, M-F. (3072)

that’s stored underwater. That’s Cerenkov radiation. It occurs when beta particles (electrons) travel faster than the speed of light. You reply: Say what? I thought nothing could travel faster than the speed of light. Not exactly — nothing can travel faster than the speed of light in a vacuum, c. However, in translucent media, notably water, light travels much slower, at maybe 75 percent of c. A beta particle traveling through air, say, moves considerably faster than light traveling through water. But suppose a beta particle enters the water. What happens? It throws up a shock wave of photons, much as a boat plowing through water creates a bow wave or a jet creates a sonic boom. I could give you a more elabo rate explanation about constructive interference between wave fronts, but it gets too complicated — let’s just stick with that bow wave. Note that the radioactive stuff isn’t what glows, nor does the water glow once the radioactive stuff is removed. Fluorescence. When certain compounds are struck by radiation, they glow. For instance, glow-in-the-dark watch dials used to be painted with a mixture of radium and zinc sulfide. Radiation from the former caused the Dear Cecil, latter to fluoresce. There’s nothing magical or dangerous After watching a campy mid-1950s science fiction about fluorescence; it can be caused by lots of things, movie recently, I was left wondering: How radioactive must including ordinary sunlight. Again, the radioactive something be to begin glowing? And could a living creature material itself emits no visible light. Madame Curie, become that radioactive and still survive, even briefly? who discovered radium, talked about watching the stuff — Ranchoth, via AOL glow in the dark, but the light was emitted by minerals mixed up with the radium, not the radium itself. Silly creature. You evidently share the common belief Bremsstrahlung. When a charged particle speeds up, that radioactive things glow. I’m here to tell you, bub: slows down, or changes direction, it emits They don’t. High-energy radioactive particles sometimes bremsstrahlung radiation. Typically bremsstrahlung con cause other stuff to glow, but that’s the exception, not sists of invisible X-rays, but knowledgeable parties the rule. For example: inform me that under certain circumstances it can be Cerenkov radiation. Perhaps you’ve seen depictions of visible. I haven’t witnessed this personally, but if it the eerie blue glow emanating from spent nuclear fuel occurs as advertised it’s perhaps the closest thing to a

BURLINGTON to WINOOSKI: I

ride to work, M-F, for a few months. My hours are 9 to 5. (3068) STOWE to ESSEX JCT.: I work in the Outlet Fair area and am looking for a ride. My schedule is very flexible and includes weekends. (3077) BURLINGTON to BRISTOL: I

am looking for a ride to work. My hours are 7 to 4, M-F. (3067)

SO. BURLINGTON to MONTPE LIER: I am looking to share dri

ving with someone. I work M, Tu, W, F, 8:30 to 4:30. I would be willing to meet at the Richmond P&R. (3050)

I’m looking to share driving on a smoke-free commute to work. Hours are M-F, 9 to 6 , some flex. (3038) SO. BURLINGTON to MILTON. I

am working on a house in Milton for a month and seeking a ride to the site M-F at 7 a.m. (3036) MIDDLEBURY to BURLINGTON.

I’m a working student looking for a ride Tues. or Weds, to Burl./ returning Fri. or Sat. eve to Middlebury. (3035) MORRISVILLE to WILLISTON.

I’m looking to share driving on my trek to work. Hours are M-F, 8 to 4:30. (2997) BURLINGTON to WILLISTON. I

am currently earless and looking for a ride to work M-F. My hours are 8:30 to 4:30. (3031)

BURLINGTON to MONKTON: I

am looking for a ride to work for a few weeks. My hours are 7:30 to 4:00, M-F with some flexibili ty. (3063) MIDDLEBURY/BURL./SO. BURL, to BARRE: I am looking

to share driving to work. Willing to meet half-way, preferrably on Rte. 7. Hours are 8 to 5, M-F. (3057) RICHMOND to ESSEX JUNC TION: I am looking for a ride to

work M-F, generally 9 to 5, but can be very flexible. (3059)

UNDERHILL to BURLINGTON: I

am looking for a ride to work MF, 8:30 to 5. (3055)

glow arising from radioactivity itself. Even so, an inter vening medium is generally required to speed/slow/divert the charged particle. None of these phenomena is going to make you or any living creature glow. If you were to tarry near a spent fuel canister bathed in Cerenkov radiation, you’d receive a lethal dose in seconds. You still wouldn’t glow, though; you’d just be dead. But at least we’d put this foolish misconception to rest. Dear Cecil, Almost every bell tower Fve heard chime the time pre cedes its hourly announcement with a musical preamble — a simple, beautiful tune we all know. It has four measures, each four notes long and then a rest before the next measure begins. What is this thing? Who penned it, and is he pulling in residuals? — Quas, via the Internet Fat lot of good it would do him — the guy’s been cold for a couple hundred years. But at least we know who he is. What you’re referring to is the best-known of all clock chimes, the Westminster Quarters. According to tradition, the words to the tune are, “Oh, Lord our God/Be thou our guide/That by thy help/No foot may slide.” The melody was written by one William Crotch in 1794. According to the New Grove Dictionary o f Music and Musicians, it consists of four variations on the fifth and sixth bars of “I Know That My Redeemer Liveth,” one of the pieces in Handel’s Messiah. Crotch persuaded the powers that be to use the tune for the chimes of the new Cambridge University clock in Saint Mary the Great Church. The tune was later copied by the proprietors of other clock towers, most notably in the Houses of Parliament at Westminster, from which its feme spread round the world. ® — CECIL ADAMS

Is there something you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams at the Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago, IL 60611, or e-mail him at cecil@chireader.com.

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Classifieds APT7H0USE FOR RENT

fr o m th e s e c re t file s o f

RED M E A T

BURLINGTON: So. End, 2bdrm., hdwd. firs., lots of win dows, old home w/ charm. No smokers/dogs, W/D, off-street parking. $750/mo. + utils. + dep. Refs. & lease. Avail now. 862-4921.

manifold mosaic of the mundane

O C lH H O

Hey there, Wally. I just thought I’d stop by and invite you over to dinner Sunday night.

Never. You seem to forget...I was hospitalized last year because of your wife’s creamed pork fondue.

ROOM FOR RENT BURLINGTON: Furnished rooms in guest house, down town, shared common areas, phone parking, no smoking, newly renovated. Clean, quiet, responsible only. Weekly & monthly rates. 862-3341. SO. BURLINGTON: Furnished, kitchen & laundry privileges. Nice clean home. Avail. 6/1. Near UVM & U. Mall. $125/wk + 2 weeks dep. 951-8926.

VACATION RENTALS EXCELLENT ADIRONDACK

vacation house in Keene, NY. Easy to find on Ausable River. Sleeps up to 6 . Close to every thing. Avail after 6/1. 862-8957.

UNIQUE LIVING OPP. Seeking cou ple or individual to share apartment w/ lake views w/ independent young woman. Free rent plus generous stipend provided in exchange for mentoring/emotional sup port. Contact Katherine Long, 658-1914 for more info. EOE. LIVE FOR FREE!

LOOKING TO RENT

Settle down...the county health department buried that stuff in sealed 3(3 Ccannisters long ago. I was just planning on grilling a few steaks.

HOUSEMATES

HOUSEMATES SERVICES

BURLINGTON: Looking for 2 female roommates to share remodeled 3-bdrm., close to UVM & Church St., with mature 23-yr.-old. TV camera man. $333/mo. + utils. 860-0655. BURLINGTON: Share beauti ful, spacious house downtown, great sun, tall ceilings, hdwd. firs., 1 cat. Please be neat, 2 0 -something, homo-friendly. Avail. 5/1. $300/mo. + utils. + dep. 658-6372 BURLINGTON: Looking for easy-going M/F to share 4bdrm. house. Nice neighbor hood, spacious, yard, cat & dog. $375/mo. + utils. Avail. 6/1. 660-7185. BURLINGTON: Roommate needed to share 3-bdrm. condo, centrally located. No pets. $294/mo. + 1/3 utils. Avail. 5/1. 864-6250.

FORT ETHAN ALLEN: Female to share unique condo, big yard, non-smoking/drinking, pref. veggie, 30+. Pet OK. Avail. 5/16. $325/mo. Maureen, 655-5449. MALLETS BAY: Prof./grad stu dent to share nice 2 -bdrm. Quiet street, basement, W/D, garage, yard. No smoking/pets. $315/mo. + 1/2 utils. 865-3814. RICHMOND: Prof., non-smoker to share house on secluded 1.25 acres, 2 mi. from village. Cathedral ceiling in livingroom. $600/mo. 434-2939. SO. HERO: Farmhouse to share. 6 bdrms., 4 bath, 6 acres. Looking for holistic, spiritual, creative, etc. $250/mo./room + utils. 372-4690.

SERVICES

COLCHESTER VILLAGE:

Seeking prof./grad female for nice 2 -bdrm. condo, quiet location, 15 mins, to Burlington. $400/mo. + 1/2 utils. Avail, now. 878-0960.

BURLINGTON: Airline pilot in VT 16 days/mo. needs room, $250/mo. range. Burlington area. Starting 5/23. Please call Paul, (407) 328-1158. :S + BURLINGTON AREA: Grad y il student looking for 1 -bdrm. or efficiency, furnished, for MayHE Aug. Call 412-422-0140 or email kadstl9+@pitt.edu.

ARCHANGEL PRINTS:

Personalized design/printing for business cards, brochures, newsletters, posters, CD cov ers, invitations, menus, etc. Just the way you want! Editing services also avail. 482-6095.

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BASEBALL, FOOTBALL, bas ketball, hockey scores/spreads NOW!!! 1-900-420-2300 ext.4179. $2.99/min. Must be 18+ Serv-U (619) 645-8434. CARPENTRY: Repairs of all kinds—renovations, doors, win dows, floors, landlord turnovers, exterior/interior, insured. References & 18 yrs. experience. Chris Hanna, 865-9813. STORAGE: Cheap storage in Burlington. Close to downtown. Many sizes. Start 7’xlO’ for $25/mo., up to 13’x l6 ’ for $75/mo. Call Eric, 862-6244.

Mac, Internet, Word, Excel. Custom database design w/ Access. $15/hr. 1-on-l. David, 655-3963. dpb@grolen.com.

HOUSEMATES WANTED

899-5128

(Private instruction also available)

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ORGANIC PRODUCE ORGANIC FARM IN BURLING TON’S Intervale offers reason

PERSONAL CHEFS NO TIME TO COOK? Call a personal chef. Short notice or weekly. Family meals. Dates. Dinner parties. Shopping, cooking, clearing, organic/allergy-conscious. The Traveling Gourmet. Gregory, 865-8027.

ably priced farm memberships. Members receive basket of seasonal produce (sweet corn, tomatoes, mesclun, strawber ries, more) each week, from June— November. Info: Jonathan at Urban Roots, 862-5929. , >

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C hristopher S loane

of yer game with a little help from Diane H., housekeeper to the stars. Call 658-7458. “ I shudder to think of my life without her." —Sir Richard Burton.

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CLASSICALLY TRAINED 20 YEARS EXPERIENCE EXTENSIVE PORTFOLIO

GIT YERSELF BACK ON TOP

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available for

Private Elegant Dinner Parties

£ > L I 6 H T ,/ 6 e r s .

april2?. 1999

P ersonal C hef

Specializing in GHitemporaiyAmerican/Traditional New England Cuisine featuring the finest in seasonal and regional delicacies

CLEANING SERVICES

EMAIL SECRETS! Learn how to mail 1 0 0 s of people at the same time! Plus dozens of more hot tips! 1-900-7481113 ext.6863. $2.99/min. Must be 18+. Serv-U (619) 645-8434.

Prof, female w/ small dog look ing to rent clean & affordable 1 -bdrm. apt. or share a house w/ prof, female. 865-9533.

HELP WITH BUYING, LEARN ING & using computers: Win,

COMPUTER SERVICES

MONTPELIER/WATERBURY:

BURLINGTON: Roommate wanted, M/F, for 2-bdrm. apt., bottom of Church St., parking, garden, spacious, 2 -story. Avail. 6/1. $275/mo. + utils. 658-8853. BURLINGTON: Female prof./grad for spacious, clean home, close to UVM/downtown, W/D, parking. No smok ing. Pets poss. $300/mo. + 1/3 utils. Avail. 6/1. 660-2430. BURLINGTON: 4th housemate wanted. Quiet, responsible stu dents seeking housemate of similar disposition. Super close to UVM, near hospital. Call 652-1432. BURLINGTON: Quiet med. student looking to share 2 bdrm. condo with grad/prof., next to UVM, quiet, furnished. No pets/smokers. $465/mo., incl. heat. Avail, immediately. 651-9077.

PERSONAL CHEFS

COMPUTER SERVICES

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Classifieds • 864.5684 DATING

ART

MUSIC

Singles meet by being in the same place as other singles. We’ve made this the best time to connect you. Call for details, 863-4308. www.compatibles.com.

ATTENTION ARTISTS:

Fine Art Flea Mart begins 5/15 in the alley next to Firehouse Gallery. For more info: 865-7165.

ADDS UP TO THE FATTEST SOUND in the Grn. Mtns.: A

COMPATIBLES:

N.E. SINGLES CONNECTION:

STUDIO SCULPTURE CLASS ES, middle school through

Dating and Friendship Network for relationship minded Single Adults. Professional, Intel ligent, Personal. Lifetime membership. Newsletter. For FREE info, 1-800-775-3090.

TUTORING

MUSIC

MATH, ENGLISH, WRITING,

Science, Humanities, Proof reading, from elementary to graduate level. Test Prep for GRE, LSAT, GMAT, SAT-I, SATII, ACT, GED, TOEFL... Michael Kraemer, 862-4042.

HOMEBREW MAKE GREAT BEER AT HOME

for only 500/bottle. Brew what you want when you want! Start-up kits & prize-winning recipes. Gift certifs. are a great gift. VT Homebrew Supply, Rt. 15, Winooski. 655-2070.

BUY THIS STUFF

WANTED: HIGH-END 8TRACK recorder/ADAT &/or

WOLFF TANNING BEDS

mixer for independent record ing project. For loan, rent or sale Please help me out. Call Gabe, 859-0084.

TAN AT HOME BUY DIRECT & SAVEI COMMERCIAL/HOME UNITS FROM $199 LOW MONTHLY PAYMENTS FREE COLOR CATALOG

STICK PLAYER WANTED:

CALL TODAY 1- 800-711-0158

372-4690.

FREE EMAIL @ BIG HEAVY WORLD. Musicians & friends

ADULT TALK WITH LIVE HOT BEAU TIFUL GIRLS!! No waiting!

Immediate 1-on-l connection!! 24 hrs!! 1-900-787-9526 ext. 9202. $3.99/min. Must be 18 yrs. Serv-U (619) 645-8434.

NASTY GIRLS!!! 1-800-458-6444 1-900-435-4405

COMPOSER/ARRANGER/PRODUCER w/ a lifetime of musi

BASS CAB: ALUMA-PRO, cus tom 2x10", 4 Ohms, gold-plat ed cones. One of a kind. She’s a real beauty. Paid $600, sell MAX MIX DJ/RECORD SHOP, for $450. Call Glenn, 108 Church St., Burlington, 864-9062. looking for used DJ/music MARSHALL JCM 900, 1x12 equipment, record collections combo, 1 0 0 watts, 2 -channels and local clothing designers. w/ separate reverb & volume Merchandise placed on con controls, effects loop, tubesignment. 802-651-0722. protection circuit, 1/2 power AD ASTRA RECORDING. Got switch. Contact Advance music? Produce it in the best Music. possible way. 24-track auto SINGER/SONGWRITER looking mated mix down, first-rate for musicians or band to per gear. Wide array of keyboards; form & create original music. drums & more. Ad Astra, Send tape & letter to Tracy building a reputation of sonic Tomasi, PO Box 1146, integrity. 872-8583. Williston, VT 05495.

$2,100; Clevinger bass, $1,700; Slingerland vintage drum set, $450; Gibson ES125 circa ’58, $1,300; Fender Jazz bass (USA), $650. 496-5315.

Now tak ing custom orders. $300$350. Call (802) 453-6323, or email: livinjuicy® hotmail.com.

highly prof, bassist/producer ready to bring out your best from behind a Panasonic WRDA7 digital console + ProTools/24 MIX (64 fully automated tracks of 24-bit digital audio) + best digital processing avail. (TC/Electronics, Focusrite, Lexicon, Apogee, Drawmer, Waves) + finest studio musicians in New England = MetaMedia™ Studios, 802-496-3520. cal exp. seeks all types of musical projects. Contact Roger at Question Mark Records, 802-363-1867.

YAMAHA VIBRAPHONE,

NEED TIPI POLES?

Hoi! Live! 1 on 1

adult groups. Starting in May. $15/class. Taught by Carole Murphy, figuritive sculptor, 863-3425. LATINO ARTISTS living in Vermont needed for August exhibition at Firehouse Gallery. All media. Info: 865-7165.

LEGALS

of local music are welcome to the new FREE EMAIL service at www.bigheavyworld.com. YourName@bigheavyworld.com made possible by Chek.com. 16-TRACK ANALOG RECORD ING STUDIO. Dogs, Cats &

Clocks Productions. Warm, friendly, prof, environment. Services for: singer/ songwrit ers, jingles, bands. Reasonable rates. Call Robin, 658-1042. GREEN MOUNTAIN SAVO YARDS seeking voices, espe

cially lyric tenors, to perform Gilbert & Sullivan selections. Call 860-1102. Also needed: pianist to accompany.

MUSIC INSTRUCTION BANJO: Old-time banjo. Guaranteed after 4 lessons you will be playing Appalachian tunes. Learn to read tablature, music notation. Emphasis on rhythm & musicality. $ 2 0 /hr. Mara McReynolds, 862-3581. BASS: Learn technique, theo ry, reading and groove. All lev els welcome. Keith Hubacher (The Disciples, Nerbak Bros., The Christine Adler Band), rea sonable rates. Call 434-4309. DRUM: Musicians Institute Gradnet Counselor. Exper ienced teacher/musician/ author. Competitive rates. Materials provided. Many sub jects to focus on. References available. Gary Williams, 4726819 (mishima@together.net). GUITAR: All styles & levels. Emphasis on developing strong technique, thorough musicianship & personal style. Paul Asbell (Unknown Blues Revue, Kilimanjaro, Sklar-Grippo, etc.). 862-7696.

GRANT WRITER CITY OF WINOOSKI

w e l l n e s s

HEALING

LOVE YOURSELF, HEAL YOUR LIFE by Louise L. Hay. Workshops and study group facilitated by Kathy Valiquette, certified Louise Hay teacher. 5-week study group beginning in May (every other Monday night). For information, call 655-1958.

Learn today what’s in store for you: Love, Family, Money. Call 1900-370-3399 Ext. 7761. $3.99/min. Must be 18 yrs. Serv U, 619-645-8334. BERNICE KELMAN: 8993542. See display ad.

w e l l n e s s

herbs

REIKI

AROMA THERAPY

STAR ROOT: We specialize in fine custom blending for your aromatherapy, beauty and bodycare needs. Carrier oils and supplies available. We stock over 1 0 0 therapeuticgrade pure essential oils. Ask about bulk pricing. 174 Battery St., Burl. 862-4421.

Burlington’s only full-service herb shop. We carry only the finest herbal products; many of them grown & produced in Vt. Featuring over 400 bulk dried herbs & tinctures. 1 0 0 Main Street, Burl. 865-HERB. Store hours: Mon.-Sat., 10-6.

Mia Eyth-Huegel, Reiki Master, 802-893-3611, lovemia® together.net. Heart-centered lightwork: healing Reiki treat ments classes; worldwide peerprofessional support group; inspired stained glass; expres sive Web site design.

MASSAGE

ROLFING

SARI K. WOLF:

See display ad.

THERAPEUTIC BODYWORKS:

PLEIADIAN PERSPECTIVES:

TRANQUIL CONNECTION:

CHIROPRAC TIC

Providing effective quality care to achieve & maintain health •S e ria lizin g in low back, neck & shoulder conditions, headaches, ana general spinal health 187 St. Phut Street, B ^jngton, VT

8 0 2 .8 6 4 .4 9 5 9

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play ad.

425-2688. See display ad.

Massage therapy. Pamper your self or a special someone to a massage. Soak in spa prior to session to mellow your mind, warm your body in serene, pri vate setting. Sessions start at $45; Head & foot massage $20; Spec, package: 3 1.5hr. sess. $165. Board-certified therapist. For appt. or leave msg., 654-9200.

TREAT YOURSELF TO 75 MINUTES OF RELAXATION.

SELFIMPROVE MENT UNLOCK YOUR NATURAL DESIRE to exercise. Untangle

from stress. Energize your body. Attain your ideal body weight. Brought to you by Essential Symmetry. See “Announcements." DREAMS ARE REAL. Discover how to link your inner and outer realities. Experience it for yourself. For a free book, call ECKANKAR, 1-800-L0VE GOD. Ask for book #F15. ; www.eckankar.org.

FITNESS

Deep therapeutic massage. Sessions: $40. Gift certifi cates. Located in downtown Burl. Flexible schedule. Aviva Silberman, 862-0029.

UNLOCK YOUR NATURAL DESIRE to exercise. Untangle

OFFICE SPACE SLEEP AIDS

DR. HEATHER DONOVAN:

864-4959. See display ad.

from stress. Energize your body. Attain your ideal body weight. Brought to you by Essential Symmetry. See “Announcements.” YMCA: 862-9622. See display ad.

YMCA C o m m u n i t y S w im P ro g ra m

TWO SPACES AVAILABLE FOR

Holistic Practitioner/Counselors to join our group cooperative practice at Waterfront Holistic Healing Ctr., Burlington. Group meditations, potlucks, meet ings, etc. $150/mo., year com mitment, incl. utils. Convenient downtown location, free parking. 865-2756.

Thomas Walker & Gale Loveitt Burlington's only Rotting practitioners trained in this

STRESSED OUT? CANT SLEEP? Beat insomnia.

Simple, natural, drug-free. 90min. cassette & book. Moneyback guarantee. $15 (S&H incl.) to Sleep Easy Unlimited, PO Box 277, Burlington, VT 05402-0277.

B e r n ic e K e l m a n P sy c h ic C o u n s e l in g Ch a n n e l in g

Lessons in your backyard or community pool

EXPERIENCE THE NEW ROLFING® <1

THOMAS WALKER & GAIL LOVEITT: 864-0444. See dis

223-4715.

CHANNELING Tapes and channeling tran scripts by mail. Send $3 postal money order for tran script # 1 , $ 1 0 for audiotape, postage & tax included, to Kate Lanxner, Waterfront Holistic Healing Ctr., 3 Main St., Burlington, VT 05401.

DO WHAT STARS DO!

RADIANCE STUDIOS:

PURPLE SHUTTER HERBS:

i®

Dr. Heather L. Donovan

PSYCHICS

The city of Winooski is seeking an experienced grant writer. Candidates must possess suc cessful grant writing experi ence (both state and federal); references required. Send let ter of interest to City Manager, 27 West Allen St., Winooski, VT 05404 or fax to 802-6556414. EOE.

BY APPOINTMENT

YMCA 862-9622

Back To Wellness Chiropractic Center

w e l l n e s s

12 kelly R o a d U n d e r h il l , V T 05489

802.899-3542 A n s w e r s T o L a s t W e e k ’s P u z z l e

GEPTLEapproach & SEtlSmVE 8 6 4 -0 4 4 4

Therapeutic

Bodyworks

Sari K. Wolf, RN,CCRN,TMP,CAP, ICA. Reiki III

INTEGRATIVE M A S S A G E

Introductory S pecial

35% OFF*

through May 31st •cannot bo com bined w ith o ther o ffers

'Healing in Common

425-260$ I Bodywk10aol.coi#

ROBERT MARKL E For Body, Mind & Spirit Member A.M.T.A.

R e le a s e

F a t ig u e

a n d

P a in

therapeutic massage, myofascial therapies, Acupressure, Aromatherapy, Reiki

in Montpelier, by appointment 802-223-4715

april 28,1999

SEVEN DAYS

i'M

A p ril 2 9 -M a y 5 ARIES (Mar. 21-April 19): O ne o f the ultimate challenges many Aries face is how to synchro nize their two ruling archetypes: the lover and the warrior. Its a daunting task: trying to be true to the tender, generous instincts o f the lover while simultaneously cul tivating the fiery discipline o f the warrior. T hat’s why I’m pleased to report that the weeks ahead will present you w ith juicy opportuni ties to stoke your skills as a warrior of love. In this spirit, I offer one o f the few love poems ever w ritten in Klingon, the language o f the fiercest daredevils in the Star Trek universe: “toH qo’ uSHa’pu’qu’mo jo H ’a, wa puqloD D aj nobpu’ ghaH ‘ej ghaH baq H archugh vay’, vaj not Hegh ghaH , ‘ach yin jub ghajbeh ghaH .”

TAURUS

(Apr. 20-M ay 20): W hen I was a testosterone-pos sessed high-school dude on a rag ing quest for sweet female favors, I was fond o f m urm uring “prove your love” to any girl who found herself teetering on the brink of going all the way w ith me in the back seat o f my parents’ car. Now that I’m a sensitive feminist man, o f course, I would never be so manipulative as to use that phrase as a seduction gambit. I still m ight say “prove your love” to someone, but now it w ould mean stand by me in my hour o f need, or don’t

withdrawfrom me even though we disagree, or collaborate with me in finding a way to make our intimacy more sacred andprofound. W hat about you, Taurus? How will you act out m y suggestion that you

prove your love?

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20): T he brilliant bad boy o f philoso phy, Friedrich Nietzsche, used to say that many o f his best ideas came while he was out walking. N ot while he was jogging. N ot while he was pum ping away at his exercise bicycle and watching

ACROSS 1 Lively round dance 6 Peter and Ivan 11 Respond, in a way 16 Ravel opus 17 Proportion 18 Baseball boo-boos 20 Candidate, sometimes 21 Bakery byproduct 22 Baseball jewel? 24 Makes a hole in one 25 Air terminal porter 27 Nothing, in Madrid 29 On — (equivalent to) 30 Former chess champ 31 Footway 32 Root ol the taro 33 TV actor Robert 34 Arabian chieftain 36 Makes public 37 Countenance 39 She loved Narcissus 40 Famous 42 Extreme hardship 43 Mortarboard 4taoration l Ho

46 Destructive insects 47 Rudely condse 48 Historic rider 51 Capital of Morocco 52 Nagged at 56 Celestial hunter 57 Jeopardy 58 Brief film appearance 59 Cry's companion 60 Drags out the speech 61 Prink or primp 62 Whimpers 63 It follows cider or divorce 64 Airport info 65 Merchandise 66 “The truth — make you free* 67 — truck 68 Herring delicacies 70 Becomes more sparse 71 Sea ducks 72 Some are electric 73*— Alone’ 7 4 ^ c fiw tn u t 75 Large gully 78 Old World sandpiper 79 Sights at Giza 83 Harem

By RobBrezsnyJ

in berserk, Capricorn. Ask to reveal to you all the traordinary magic you |ow have at your disposal.

reruns o f “T he Simpsons.” There was something about walking that stimulated his genius like nothing else. W hich is why I’m prescribing lots o f long walks for you this week, Gemini. To get unstuck from the fix you’re in, you’re going to need to call on at least eight miles’ w orth o f the genius that only walking can stir, preferably more.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22): Kudos to those o f us who share this space every week. D ue to the extensive syndication o f “Real Astrology,” all you readers and I now constitute a sizable con stituency that’s as big as the M orm ons or the watchers o f the hom e shopping channel. W hat should we do w ith all this untapped political clout? Can we agree upon some issues we could lobby for, like maybe a new law to ensure that everyone is paid according to how much beauty they bring into the world? I nom i nate you Cancerians to organize our special interest group. O f all the signs in the zodiac, you are currently the most idealistic, the best networkers, and the most like ly to serve the good o f the many.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22): Drool, my friend Carol once noted, is the highest form o f praise. And in light o f your growing skill and popularity, Leo, I expect you’ll be overstimulating many people’s sali vary glands in the coming weeks. Sure, some o f it will be metaphori cal slobber, and some will accom pany feelings o f envy more than admiration, but I would not be surprised if you were witness to actual trickles o f spit overflowing from the m ouths o f people who can’t contain their respect or hunger for you. To encourage the

rooms 84 Wild dogs of Asia 86 Heat supplier 87 Epochal 88 Drunkard 89 Curved molding 90 Marionettemaker Tony 91 Dutch uncle 92 Spring flag 94 Line or net starter 95 Biological classifica tions 97 Plant used in lotions 98 Audience demands 100 Laughing 102 Hard and unyielding 104 Her dancing pleased Herod 105 Where the action is 106 Salty 107 He wrote The Highway man* 108 Fine Italian straw 109 Broken pottery fragment DOWN 1 Kind of tapestry 2 “—, my love, you do me wrong...* V . .

3 Ring or book follower 4 Crude metals 5 Flat hats 6 Expanses of (and 7 Musical Vaughan 8 Above 9 Basketball hoop 10 Unspecified things 11 Blitz, in football 12 Assam silkworm 13 Brazilian macaw 14 State of insensibility 15 Cancer and Capricorn 16 Suited 19 Scythe handle 20 Office 23 Drivel 26 Arm or age lead-in 28 Jewish month 32 “Dinner at —* (1933 movie) 35 Cowboy competitions 36 A queen of England 37 Essential 38 Chopin compositions 39 Italian noble :

displays you so richly deserve, I encourage you to create a little button for your lapel which reads, “You Have Permission to Drool.”

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): O ur dedicated team o f astrologers, shamans, psychics and private detectives has traveled over 160.000 miles in the last three weeks (93,000 of those on the astral plane), gathering data from all over creation so as to serve you better. And what did our researchers find? After observing hundreds o f Virgos — from a meticulous decorator o f wedding cakes in D ublin to a Shanghai businessman who’s collected 20.000 pieces o f Marxist memora bilia — my team has concluded that it’s time for your tribe to stop obsessing on the tiny details and start luxuriating on extremely expansive vistas.

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): D id you ever wish you could be a different astrological sign? Has more than one person implied recently that they’d like you much better if only you were someone else? If so, this is your lucky week. For the first time this decade, you’ve been granted a temporary exemption from being yourself. From now until May 6, you have permission to walk like, talk like, even smell like a Scorpio or Aries or Leo — or any sign except Libra. Peruse my messages for the other signs if you like, and follow the advice that sounds most fun.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): W hen I was on Geraldo’s TV talk show a few years back, the man asked me how I keep love fresh when I’m in a monogamous relationship. I told him, “Geraldo, the way my partner and I avoid

house 41 Eroded by use 42 Harbinger of spring 44 Jason s ship 46 Areas common to Mars and the moon 47 Caravan asset? 48 Poll-taker of note 49 One of the Muses 50 Author Gore 51 Marsh grasses 52 Removes water from a boat, with “out* 53 German river 54 Swiss mathemati cian 55 Small, secluded glens 57 Movable stage settings 58 Large wading bird 61 Combined 62 Narrow opening 63 French matron 65 Fed. agents 66 Starts in fright 67 Pocket bread

4*-.4L3! *r

69 Luau garlands 70 *— Little Words" 71 British nobleman 73 Swift message 74 Lawn seed 75 Actress Perez 76 Decorates 77 Papal palace 78 Forum garb 79 Unadulter ated 80 Home of the little people* 81 Singer Vic 82 Weather word 85 Sawing frames 86 Chinese gambling game 90 Plant of the Cassia genus 93 Choir plum 94 Attica township 95 Celt of the Scottish Highlands 96 Esau's wife 97 See 34 Across 99 Rogers or Bean 101 Head of Benjamins clan 103 In the manner of * M4SL

becoming too predictable is by spraypainting love notes to each other on highway overpasses, hav ing long conversations with our mutual imaginary friend, acting out and intepreting each other’s dreams, watching the live births of farm animals, going on missions together where we perform good deeds anonymously, and hurling Lenox china against the wall o f the garage while naming every one of our own faults and screaming how sorry we are to inflict them on each other.” So that’s what I told Geraldo, Scorpio. W hat would you have told him? It’s prime time to meditate on this subject.

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): To an outside observ er like me, your search for answers looks pretty screwy right now. From what I can tell, you’re sniff ing around in the wrong places for questions that won’t even be im portant to you in the long run. I can’t help but think, as I rum i nate on your behavior, o f a joke I heard recently. “How many surre alists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three. O ne to calm the warthog, and the other two to fill the bathtub w ith brightly colored toasters.”

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22Jan. 19): You currently have more abundant access to the Divine Gaga than you’ve had in many moons. As a result, you possess, at least temporarily, mysterious pow ers that surpass your usual capaci ties. T he only trouble is, you may not be able to exercise those pow ers unless you figure out what they are. For instance, if you don’t real ize you can use telepathy to ensure that you always get a great parking spot, how will you even know to call on it? So let your imagination

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IARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 1 8 ) : M a y is A d o p t - a n - A q u a r i u s m o n t h . I t ’s m e a n t t o b e o b s e r v e d b y a ll o f y o u r t r ib e , n o t ju s t o r p h a n s a n d d is in h e r it e d re b e ls . Y o u n e e d g u id a n c e a n d s u p p o r t a n d c a s h g r a n ts f r o m a w is e e ld e r , m y c h ild ! I e n c o u r a g e y o u t o b e u n a b a s h e d in t r a c k in g d o w n th is t r u s t w o r t h y g u a r d ia n in w h a t e v e r f o r m m a k e s y o u fe e l m o s t c a r e d fo r , w h e t h e r t h a t ’s a m e n t o r , fo s te r p a r e n t , b ig s is te r o r b r o t h e r , s u g a r m a m a o r s u g a r d a d d y , o r f a ir y g o d m o t h e r . M a y b e a t o n e t im e o r a n o t h e r in y o u r lif e y o u ’v e u t t e r e d t h e c u rs e m o s t e v e r y k id s c re a m s : “I never asked to be born!” In the coming weeks you can perm anent ly correct that karma.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20): Y o u r f a v o r it e f o r b i d d e n f r u i t w i ll b e a v a ila b le a t b a r g a in p r ic e s th is w e e k — a n d y o u w o n ’t e v e n h a v e to r e s o r t t o y o u r b la c k - m a r k e t c o n n e c tio n s . Y o u ’re a ls o a b o u t t o r u n a c ro s s a fr e e w i l d c a r d o r t w o , t h o u g h I ’d a d v is e y o u t o c h e c k a n d d o u b le - c h e c k t o m a k e s u re t h e y ’re p e r f e c t ly le g a l, m o r a l a n d ta s te fu l. H a d e n o u g h ? O r d o y o u th in k y o u c a n b e a r t h e t h r i l l o f m e p r e d ic t in g even m o re obscene abundance? G e t th is : W i t h o u t e v e n t r y i n g , y o u s h o u ld a ls o e n c o u n t e r s o m e f a b u lo u s d e a ls o n s e c re t in g r e d ie n t s a n d X - f a c t o r s . (7 )

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•

personal abbreviations

A=Asian, B=Black, Bi = Bisexual, C=Christian, CU=Couple, D=Divorced, F=Female, G=Gay, H=FHispanic, ISO=ln Search Of, J=jewish, LTR=Long-Term Relationship M=Male, Ma=Married, ND=No Drugs, NS=Non-Smoking, NA=No Al ,s^ cohol, P-Professiona'I, S=Single, W=White, Wi=Widowed, . YO=Years Old

Call _

to charge directly to your credit card. $t.99/minute. must be 18

ME: SWBiF. YOU: SBM, 18-23, for good food and laughs. Let’s see Titanic for the 100 th time and cry. I won’t tell if you won’t. Could you be my Jack? 3000 ___________________ STRIKING BLOND, PETITE PF, 5’3", 115

Or Call

1 -9 0 0 - 3 7 0 - 7 1 2 7 $i.99/minute. must be 18

lbs., into fitness, hiking, biking, sailing, dancing, traveling, cultural events, spectator sports, more. ISO PSM, finan cially secure, similar interests, 4 5 -5 5 , for fun along life’s long journey. 2 9 3 9 LOVELY, CHARMING, TENDER-HEARTED,

Open 24 hours!

m m o n A o s k u iq m m

passionate and spiritual woman desires a deep-learning friendship with a good man, 30S-50S. Enjoys laughter, music, dancing, reading, racquetball, sailing, auctions, cooking, good wines &, most importantly, stimulating & challenging conversation. 2 9 4 7 _______ ACTIVE, ATTRACTIVE WOMAN ISO best friend/lover to enjoy life’s varied fla vors. Are you interested in meeting a DWPF, 4 6 , who is actively exploring all that life offers? 2 9 5 3 _______________ SLENDER, SOULFUL, RADIANT SWPF,

VHO SAYS BLONDS HAVE ALL THE FUN? iWPF ISO baseball-loving, sunsetvatching dinner date. If you’re a iWPM, ready for a slender brunette, i3, full of fun, let’s talk! 2 9 6 9 AE: SWEET & SARCASTIC; TOFU & tater ots; & foreign ilms & Flintstones; ready for a partner, imbivalent about the process. You: 3 2 0, NS, curious, aware, honest. 2 9 7 2 Y o g a

Journal

People-,

fENDER-LOVING WOMAN SEEKS A MAN

// a heart of gold. Fit, attractive, ener;etic DWPF, 4 2 , no kids, likes art, nusic, dancing, animals, plants and laybe you? North Ctrl. VT. 2 9 7 0 _____ FUN, ATHLETIC, FREE-SPIRITED, BUT

esponsibly self-sufficient, professional /omen seek compatible (read: dmirable, likeable, principled, honest, tc.) men for dating, friendship, possi ble LTR. 2 9 7 7 ____________________ WANTED: MEN TO FILL POSITIONS of scort, henchman, guru, bodyguard, erobic instructor, squire, yeoman and ie likes by 2 down-to-earth, life-lovlg, professional women. Call for appliation & compensation package. 2 9 7 8 WPF, 5’2", ATTRACTIVE, LONG brown air, bl. eyes, slender. Likes to try just bout anything once. ISO SWPM, 2 5 5 , sense of humor, daring & fun. 2 9 8 1 ELLO? ARE YOU OUT THERE? SWPF, 3 0 , ctive, vivacious, enjoys life, attractive, elf-confident, no kids (maybe someay), ISO SWPM, 3 0 -4 0 , honest, cute, umorous, active, non-slim, outdoorsy, ut sharp dresser. Poss. LTR, friends rst. 2 9 8 6 _______________________

to resp on d to a p e rso n a l ad c a ll l - Q O O - 3 7 0 - 7 1 2 7 • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • # • • • # m m W m m •' • # • w e’re open 2 4 h o u rs a day! $ 1.99 a minute, must be 18 +.

LETS ENJOY THE SUNSHINE. SWF, NS,

g u id e lin e s : Anyone seeking a healthy, non-abusive relationship may advertise in RSON TO PERSON. Ad suggestions: age range, intere M .^/le, self-description. Abbreviations may be used to in--------, gender, race, religion and sexual preference. SEVEN DAYS reserves the ' right to edit or reject any advertisement. Personal ads may be submitted for publication only by, and seeking, persons over 18 years of age.

1 -8 0 0 - 7 1 0 -8 7 2 7

•

, with a passion for the natural world and active outdoor pursuits. Seeking slim/athletic, active, intelligent, earthy S/DPM, 3 5 -5 0 , with sparkle, wit and warmth. 2 9 5 4 _________________ 40

IS THIS THE LAND OF THE UNEDUCAT ED, unemployed, unavailable, under

aged? SWPF, 3 0 , with kids, car, house, job, brain, seeking the almost perfect man. Wow me w/ your response. 2 9 5 6 PETITE, 50, WWiF W/TEENS. Reader, nature lover, sometimes silly, looking for devout, financially secure D/WiWM, 4 5 , NS, to share “the rest of the story” with. 2 9 5 8 _______________________ DWF, 45, 5’4", 150 LBS., LOOKING FOR

companion for camping, hiking and general fun times. Must be NS, moder ate drinker and love animals, interested? Let’s talk. 2 9 2 2

- , worldly, sincere, intelligent, open, secure, attractive in/out, humor ous, environmentalist, passionate, parent, wanting to believe, too. 2 8 3 4 ARTIST SEEKS MUSE: DWF, late 4 0 s, lithe, slender, fit, energetic, ISO imagi native, bright counterpart who’s pas sionate, sincere, kind, optimistic, strong & likes to dance. NS/ND. 2808

MY FRIENDS AND I ARE ISO PARTNERS

THE KEY TO INTIMACY IS THE COMMIT

AQskuiq women

INDEPENDENT FEMALE ADVENTURER,

SWF, 31, DARK HAIR/EYES, PETITE,

down-to-earth, enjoys quiet evenings at home, outdoors, occasional nights out. ISO LTR w/ sensitive guy, 30 s, cares about himself & others, doesn’t need to impress me. 2880

SWM, TALL, DARK, HANDSOME, PILOT,

sailor, adventurer, seeks adventuress. Redheads a plus, but not necessary. 29 9 8 ___________________________ SEEKING SLIM, SUPERFLY CHICK into alternative music, kind beer, pool hust ling, veggie eating (except sushi), misty hikes, summer blading, Flynn Theater, Montreal casino. 2 0 -something SWM with body/looks of Greek god! 2 9 7 5 STELLA GET YOUR GROOVE BACK.

Handsome, fit PBM, 2 5 , ISO very mature or older woman. “Age is nothing but a number.” 2988 ____________

Please join us at the

Spring Fling Singles P arty ill C l u b M e t r o n o m e

SWM, 50, LOOKS 40, LOOKING FOR A

cute intellectual with a narrow body and a broad mind. And heart. I’ll be at the May 7 party and so will you. 2 9 8 9 2 6 , ISO beautiful, intelligent, stable S/MaWF for summertime adventures.

__________________________________

WHAT DO WE WANT? Young

4 0 s, alive & loving, dependable, seeks younger, mature, sexy F with depth, wit, humor, passions, to share memorable times, psychospiritual climbs. Follow your

Cush bar • I lot s d'oeuvres • Prizes

tractive, adventurous DWPF, 3 3 . efer attractive S/DWPM, 3 0 -4 0 , inde?ndent and secure. Aspiring princes ust be emotionally available, playful id passionate about life, love and Iventure. 2 9 9 6 __________________

Introductory Swing Dance Lessons offered earlier in the (‘veiling.

SWM ISO a healthy relationship with the right woman. I value spontaneity, optimism, beauty & happiness. If you have a lust for life and a heart that needs to share love, please do respond. 20 -30 YO. 2 9 3 7

VPF, 48, SEEKS PM, NS. MUST LIVE

See page 34 for registration details

PARTNERIN TIME.

F rid a y , M ay 7 , 9 p.111. Featuring the swingin’ jump

bines of B l o o z o t o m y !

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girlfriend and h e seem<s tc dislike her very much. I knew this because he tells me sc every day. He says, "Man, I really get tc

lese my chick in the worst kind of way. ” He complains that she sits around all the time while he works his hands tc the bone tc give her money every pay day. Net only that, but new she wants mere dinerc just tc stay at heme. I’m getting very tired cf hearing my friend’s whining. Hew should I advise him? Puzzled in Panton

Dear Puzzled. It’s time for tough love, buddy. Tell your friend tc give this mooch the old heave-ho.

FINANCIALLY SOLVENT, COMPETITIVE

If she won’t pull her weight around the house. he simply must explain tc the young lady that he w on’t pay, he won’t pay. he won’t pay. no way. He must say. "Na-na. why don’t you get a job?”

Jj)La

ve,

I-8OO-7IO-8727 —^

Aty friend’s get a

45 6

IIRY-TALE ROMANCE SOUGHT BY

Dear Lola,

TALL, ATTTRACTIVE, EDUCATED SWM,

White, self-employed, . ’, 175 lbs., fit, fun, dependable, honest and mischievous. Call if you can come out and play. 30 0 1 ________ GOING UP. TALL, FIT, UPPER 30S, been colleged, been married, been a dad, been divorced, been single, been bet ter for it. Been making the mistakes different mistakes. Been looking for a friend. 2 9 9 9 ____________________

e with humor and enthusiasm, imfortable with blue jeans or black , Al’s or Cafe Shelburne, Motown or ozart. To celebrate life and create emories. 2 9 9 7

lo v e . co u m siw )

heart- 2994____________________________

RILLIANT, GORGEOUS & TALENTED.

utdoor endurance athlete, writer, ature-loving and spiritual SWF, 3 0 S, eks life mate (no pressure!). Be interting, balanced, fun and kind-hearted, tegrity? Optimism? Compassion? Good uff! 2 9 8 7 _______________________ PF, 27, ISO INTELLIGENT, MOTIVATED, tractive & fun M who doesn’t answer arsonal ads and is not desperate for ve or habitually writing poetry about insets & beach walks. 2 9 9 2 ________

m m

40 5 5

in crime who enjoy being dazed & con MENT to honesty and to the radical fused in the afternoons while baking at forgiveness necessary in order for hon 4 :2 0 . 2882 ______________________ esty to be safe. DWF, 3 7 , NS/ND ISO SM who shares same belief. 28 45 _____ ISO WORKOUT. AN ACCELERATED heart rate from kissing that glistens, wellDWF, NS. MY LIFE IS DIVIDED BUSILY earned sweat from love who listens... between farm, art, profession & family. Spot me if you are of the tight, beauti- Aesthetics, nature’s wisdom & beauty ful, into deliberateness. 2885 ________ are core. I love to bike, kayak, trailride, swim, travel, hike, photograph INCORRIGIBLE, 46, VOLUPTUOUS DF, countryside, given time. 5 *2 ”, NS, who knows her body, mind & spirit Charlotte Rubenesque, adventuresome, indepen connectedness. Enjoys outdoors, for dent, creative. Guitar player, wood eign films. ISO NS, 4 0 +, w/ intimate worker, horseman, communicative, self-awareness, honesty, adventurous cheerful optimist preferred, soish. 2 8 46 traveler. Couch potatoes need not apply. 2903 ______________________ ATTRACTIVE INSIDE & OUTSIDE. DWPF, 4 5 , NS, positive outlook, healthy HAPPINESS IS: TOGETHER ON A MTN. lifestyle, well-educated, mother, nature at sunset, sultry summer air, warm lover. ISO relationship based on earthly scents, romance, peace, quiet, respect, trust & communication w/ looking deeply in your eyes, laughs. intelligent, fit, nurturing PM SWF, 2 7 . seeks SWM, 2 5 -3 0 , NS. 2 8 5 3 . attractive, counterpart. 2 7 9 2 _________________ GOURMET M RECIPE: Add these ingredi SWF, 31, LOOKING FOR A HELPING ents & mix well: heart, brain, smirky a strong, big hand for compan grin & insanely goofy interior. SWF, 3 4 , HAND, ionship of any interest. Like comfort will stir up these ingredients. 2 8 58 and luxury. 2 7 9 7 __________________ TUMBLEWEED SEEKS REASON FOR FLING? I want to share my last roots. Curvy, easy-to-look-at SWF, 4 0 s, SPRING months in Burlington w/ an uncom accomplished at work, play, life, wishes 3plicated man who likes dancing, hik to share music making, sweat, good ing, theater-going, dining out. I’m 4 7 , life w/ tall, centered M type. 2860 5 ’ 6 ”, attractive & adventurous. 2800 SWF, 21, ISO SW, athletic, preppy M, DWPF PAGAN, 33, CONTINUING THE 2 1 -2 5 , for fun & to act silly. Must love journey with new understanding, reach dogs, playing volleyball on the beach ing the highest level’s the goal. & listening to jimmy Buffett. 2 8 61 Seeking sane, dog & kid-loving, finan FUN-LOVING SWF, 21, STUDENT. Likes: cially solvent, psycho-ex-free soulmate Chianti, outdoor sports and sarcasm. Seeks: well-dressed, athletic M, 2 1 -2 6 , to share life. 2805 for adventure, fun & laughter. Must like hiking, movies & snowball fights. 28 62 skier, climber, horse woman. I like to play outside & hate the city. Looking for someone to play with; tired of going solo. 2 8 73 __________________

m m

DWF WHO STILL WANTS TO BELIEVE IN fairytales...waiting for extraordinary M,

, ’i ” , would like to meet a SWM, NS, - , who is sensitive and would like to develop friendship & share experiences. 2 9 3 0 _________________ UNCONVENTIONAL 49 YO DWF recently returned from teaching art in Africa. ISO spiritual, contemplative, witty SM for hiking, biking, swing dancing, light hearted appreciation of Earth. Possible LTR. NS, ND, no malls. 2884 _________ 32 5 31 38

to \ o u r

St.99 per min. must be tS«

crfm t

( * \ k i >.

any phone, anywhere, any time.

Or respond t h e o ld -fa sh ion w ay: CALL TELE 9 0 0 NUMBER.

Call 1-900-870-7127 $1.99 /m in. m ust be

18+

april 28, 1999

SEVEN DAYS

page 49

do n ’t w a n t a ch arge on y o u r p h o n e b ill? c a ll 1 -8 0 0 - 7 1 0 -8 7 2 7 •

•

an d u se y o u r credit card. 2 4 h o u rs a day! TAKE A CHANCE... HANDSOME SWP,

non AQokbtq women, em t RESTLESS IN MIDDLEBURY. Well-adjust ed, easy-going, gentle DWM who likes, but does not have, children—fit, outdoor-oriented, slim, 5 ’io”, 4 5 , humor ous, strong ethics & morals—seeks PF, NS w/ similar characteristics for LTR. Carry-on baggage usually fits. 2 9 3 8

outdoorsy and gorgeous. He is also too (something) to consider placing an ad. For him: an active/outdoorsy, intel ligent, liberal, pagan voodoo dancer woman. 28 93 ____________________

SWM, 29, W/ AFFINITY FOR SOCCER &

SM, 38, TEACHER, PROFESSIONAL

IF YOU ENJOY OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES,

dining, dancing, laughing and are 5 ’6 ”, or less, 3 5 -4 5 , fit, active, attractive, call me ASAP. SWM, 4 5 , fit, humorous.

m i_____________________ DO YOU ENJOY CUDDLING, HOLDING

hands & other activities done in pri vate? Young professional w/ Latin looks seeks young, attractive, sassy lass. I like movies, music, good food & the outdoors. Wimps need not apply.

m i_____________________ DPM, 43, ENJOYS DANCING, DINING,

trips, sunsets, beaches, cuddling at home, treating a lady w/ honesty, respect, sincerety. ISO F with similar interests for possible LTR. 2 9 4 3 ______ YOUNG-LOOKING DWM, 45, EXCELLENT

physical condition & health, 5 ’ 5 ”, br./br., ND, smoker, financially secure, lives alone. Seeks F companion to enjoy evenings/weekends camping, fishing & dining. 2 9 4 4 _____________

MEAN PEOPLE SUCK! SINGLE PISCEAN

Celt, 2 9 , atheist, anarchist, tall, hand some, sober and loving. Seeking bril liant, tall and kind woman, 2 5 -3 5 , who desires love w/ intellectual fulfillment. Middlebury area. 2 9 4 8 _____________ “ANDRE FOR ANNA": SWM, 2 9 , seeks F opponent for a match. No certain skill level needed. I am not concerned with winning...in fact, love suits me fine. Racquets included. 2 9 6 8 ____________ SHE IS SOMEWHERE—QUIET, BUT NOT

afraid, peaceful, energetic, content, but adventuresome, mellow, wild, playful, yet sincere, waterfalls, wind and feath er pillows. Me: father, earthdrummer, rural, rocker, vegetarian, here. 2 9 5 5 BEER DRINKIN’ 81 HELL RAISING SWM,

, ISO SF accomplice, 18 -2 5 . From being high in the mountains to getting down in the valleys, let’s have some fun!! 2 9 6 4 _______________________ 25

RED ROVER, RED ROVER! ALL FAIR AND

winsome women, 3 4 -4 4 , with tender hearts, svelte figures and inquisitive minds come over! Smokers and jokers: one, two, three red light! 2 9 5 9 _______ MUSE WANTED. NEA WRITER, 57,

retired English and film teacher, ISO super intelligent, slightly wacky, but not psychotic, woman who’s read but thinks Lao-Tzu and Daffy Duck got it right. 2 9 6 1 _____________ Gurdjief,

massages, ISO intelligent, attractive SF w/ a great smile. Possible LTR, or just hanging out is a great start. 2 9 11 _____ DWM, 37, 5’io“. I AM INTO MUSIC,

movies and outdoor activities, but hibernate in the winter. ISO S/DF, 3 0 3 7 , into much the same for friendship, possibly more. Interested? 2 9 19 ______ APPLICATIONS NOW BEING ACCEPTED:

DWM, 3 9 , 5 ’8 ” , 180 lbs., brn. hair/eyes. Enjoys music, TV, movies, fishing, camping, hiking, skiing, long rides in the country, companionship. Seeking F, 2 5 -4 5 , to fill position. 29 12 _________

SARCASTIC, SEXY, INTELLIGENT SWPM,

3 0 , ISO soulful, classy feminist, 2 4 -3 4 , with style, heart and gusto to share an appreciation of nature, music, good fun, food and conversation. 2 9 14 _____

I BELIEVE WE ARE HERE TO FACE OUR

fears and to find love. SWM, 3 1 , also lives for mtn. biking, film, coffee, Internet, dark beer, a healthy fantasy life (BD/SM, anyone?). 2 9 15 _________ NO SENSE OF HUMOR, DWM, 5’io“, 165

lbs., bl. eyes, handsome, fit, NS, late 4 0 s, but w/ hair and teeth. Skiing, dancing, dining, picnics, V.S.O. ISO lady who can make my knees knock. Let’s talk. 2 9 2 5 ___________________ SWM, MUSIC-LOVER, GREAT KISSER &

creatively caring man seeks beautiful and sexy girl in her 20 s to share my love with & call my own. I like giving & receiving attention. 2 9 3 6 _________ SM, 52, RUTLAND AREA, SEEKS attrac tive lady, 3 0 -5 5 , for dating leading to LTR. Only ladies seeking respect, car ing, and honesty need respond. I’m 5 ’n ” , blue eyes, brown hair. 2 9 3 4 SINGLE MALE, 49, LIVING IN ALTERED

state, seeks spiritual female. Truth and justice major priority. Northeast Kingdom area. Y2 K compliant. 2 9 3 2 SPRING COMES QUICKLY BY, IT BRINGS

with it sugar snows and maple pie and dandelion greens, not so serene... From mid-life writer, teacher, gardener who seeks woman of dreams. 2 9 3 3 TIRED OF GAMES, SWM, 30, CATHOLIC,

tall, physically fit, enjoys Rollerblading, biking, working out, movies, dinner. ISO SWF, attractive, honest, physically fit, 2 4 -3 6 , spiritual for LTR & fun times. Children OK. Is anyone out there? 2 9 2 9 ARE YOU VEGETARIAN, 25-35, intelli gent, open, interactive, fit, self-confi dent, conscience-minded, hopelessly romantic, excited by music, art, moun tain bikes and purity of human emotions? I’m waiting for you! 28 89 ______

actor/director, is seeking independent woman w/ hope, humor and sense of wonder (writer? scientist? red hair?) to share unconventional life and produce beautiful babies. 2 8 94 _____________ likes sports, movies, quiet evenings. ISO attractive F who’s open-minded, NS, disease-free, kinky, horny for adult pleasure & possible LTR. Letter/photo. 28 90 _____ _____________________

enjoys nature, hiking, biking, writing & fun stuff is seeking a fluently natural woman for a co-creative relationship. Healthy, 3 4 , 5 ’ 9 ”, NS/ND/NA, Rutland area. 28 50 ______________________ FUN, ATHLETIC, EDUCATED, SINCERE,

good-looking, skiing, biking, NS SWPM, 3 5 , seeks NS, athletic, sweet, attractive SF, 2 7 -3 6 , who likes to play hard, enjoys back-country adventures, film, travel, dogs. 2 8 55 _____________ & handsome, ISO SPF, 2 5 -3 5 , who is beautiful, adventurous, and sponta neous. Seeking LTR, no games, no kids, and no pets. 2 8 5 6 ____________ BEAUTIFUL M, WELL-CENTERED, stable, low maintenance; loves jazz, art, fine dining, moonlit walks, sleeping late. Seeking similar partner, late 20S-30S, to explore life’s finer aspects. 2870 ARE YOU OKAY? THAT FALL FROM

Heaven must have hurt. Single, starswept seraphim, 4 3 , seeks single, scin tillating female soulmate. Remember, true love is “ Heaven sent.” 2871______ THIRTYSOMETHING MAN. NS, profes sionally an art instructor, socially an artist, poet, musician & dancer, seeks an NS, outgoing 28 -42 YO who wishes to have her cake... Honesty as my frosting. 2 8 72 ____________________ IF YOU’VE GOT EVERYTHING EXCEPT

someone to share it with, I’d like to meet you. DPM seeks NS S/DPF, 3 0 -4 0 , who’s bright, talented, attractive and likes the outdoors. Kids OK. 2 8 7 5 RELATIONSHIP MAKES LIFE COME TO LIFE. I’m 3 3 , tall, attractive, high IQ,

professional, creative, sincere, openhearted, relationship-oriented. If you’re 2 5 -3 2 , real, seek true love, let’s meet and explore. 2 8 7 7 _________________ LOOKING FOR THAT SPECIAL, beautiful girl. DWM, 3 5 , 6 ’ 2 ”, 180 lbs., It. brown hair/blue eyes. Nice-looking, exciting guy ISO beautiful, special girl inside & out for great LTR. Children OK. Please describe yourself & I’ll call. 2 8 3 3 _____

SPRING aiN G . SWPM, 38, 6’, SEEKS

SWM, 36, 5*io", BLUE-EYED, ATTRAC TIVE, introverted, invitive, and a bit

MAN FROM MARS: DWCM, 55, NS/NA,

SWM, 24, ISO SWF, 24-29, W/ LOOKS

nuts! Seeks same qualities in 2 5 -4 0 YO F. We both know society sucks, but c? Titinue to evolve. 2 9 6 7 ___________ if

are a s f ,

22-40,1

am sea r ch -

ing for you. SWM, 2 7 , 6 ’i ” : I enjoy long walks and writing poetry. Beautiful sunsets are worth sharing. 29 0 9

•

for weekend adventures and LTR. Must enjoy travel, hiking, concerts, outdoor activities, dining out and long, romantic candlelit nights in bed. 28 11 ______ CITY DWELLING, AGRARIAN LEANING,

coyoTEl

TEX* MliX CAFI

161 Church Street Burlington 865-3632

Winner also receives a gift certificate for a FREE from D a y

G u i d e

H i k e r ’s

V T

■The Outdoor Gear Cx3-ian^ •

2978

SJM, 30, ENTREPRENEUR, TALL, DARK

LTR w/ spunky, sophisticated, active SF, 18 -3 8 . Interests: travel, mountains, ski ing, boating, off-beat humor, the ocean, wine, spicy food, fun times, bad weather, crop circles. You? 28 12 ______

looking for easy-going extrovert, shapely, 4 oish, active CF, over 5 ’4 ”, under 1 5 0 lbs. Interests in church, dancing & other social activities. 2 9 0 7 SWM, 32, LOOKING FOR THE WOMAN to knock over liquor stores with, then spend the downtime basking in expen sive beers, cheap theater, boarder cross, & yard sales. It’s go time, baby!

of escort, henchmen, guru, bodyguard, aerobic, instructor, squire, yeoman and the likes by 2 downto-earth, life-loving, pro fessional women. Call for application & compensa tion package.

ALTERNATIVE-MINDED SWPM WHO

THE LOVE YOU GET IS EQUAL TO THE

ing for attractive, companionable lady to share rich, fulfilling life, travel, yachting, just plain fun. Eventual commitment, my goal. 2 9 6 5 ____________

•

Personal of the Week wins dinner for two at

WANTED: MEN TO FILL POSI TIONS

SWM, 22, ATTRACTIVE, WITTY, CARING,

FOR REAL-GENTLE MAN, GOOD-LOOK ING, middle-age, very solvent, search

love you give. DWM, 4 oish, 5 ’9 ”, 150 lbs., proportionate, youthful, interest ing. Likes most outdoor activities, laughing, music, movies. Seeking funloving companion. 29 0 6 ____________

•

MY FRIEND DAVE IS TALL, BLONDE,

s, excellent table manners, wellbehaved and belief in traditional val ues, would like to meet attractive lady for companionship to share laughter and activities. 29 10 ______ _____ 40

•

$ 1.99 a minute, must be 18 +.

used • closeout • new 191 Bank S t, Burlington 860-0190

BiWM, 26, GEEK, SEEKS FAIRY PRINCESS with whom to share

miscel laneous nerdy pursuits. Must be NS/ND and enjoy film, art, music and life in general. 2 8 36 ____________________ LIFE IS FOR LIVERS. Fit, attractive, ide alistic SPM, 4 6 , seeks smart, sexy, happy, progressive woman (with a good liver) to share culture, travel, outdoor activities, politics, partying and shade-tree philosophizing. Laughter, music and love happen! 28 43 SWPCM, 36, CATHOLIC W/ A GREAT

attitude towards life seeks F with similar perspective for friendship. 2 8 3 7

BELIEVE IN MAGIC? Let’s cast spells. What the heavens know the heart con firms. SWM, Capricorn, 5 2 , looking for soulmate, Rutland area. Interests: cooking, photography, the craft. 2 79 6 DWM, EARLY 40S, smart but appropri ate, attractive but imperfect, horny but discreet, fun but has as many bad habits as the rest. Are you that much different? 2802 ___________________ DO YOU FIT INTO MY LIFE? DWPM, 6 ’, 4 2 , half yuppie in excellent shape, into organics and life. Travels light. Seeks F w/ similar qualities under 4 6 . 2804

43 VO, 5*9", 210 LBS., ENJOYS DINING,

day trips, boating, bowling, quiet times, music, treating a lady nicely. Looking for a F, 2 5 -4 4 , with similar interests for LTR. 28 38 _____________ IF YOU’RE FUN, FIT, ATTRACTIVE, edu cated, high-energy and spontaneous, then we have a lot in common. SWPM looking for F, 3 5 -4 5 , approx. 5 ’ 6 ”. Successful and generous soul seeking mate. 2 8 39 ______________________ CARPENTER, MUSICIAN, ANIMAL LOVER, lover of life. SWM, 3 9 , seeking

healthy F, 2 7 -4 0 , no racists. I’m 190 lbs. 28 42 ____________________ DWM, 43, 5’8“, SLIM, ISO musical, attractive, spiritual poetess, 2 6 +, w/ appreciation of the absurd. Let’s sing, talk, laugh & cook together. Children, pets, imagination welcome! ND/NA. 2 8 4 4 ___________________________ DALAI LAMA MAMAS WANTED by spiri tual, musical, lover of children, god seeking Rasta man. In the middle of the woods or NYC you feel at home. What’s your purpose on this planet? s ’9 " ,

AQokinq women BiF, 45, ATTRACTIVE ISO F FOR FUN &

frolic while hubby is travelling. Must be open-minded, love life and consider spending the summer in my mountain cabin. 2 9 7 4 _____________________ BI-CURIOUS MaWF ISO Bi OR BI-CUR^ OUS F, 2 0 -3 5 , for friendship, maybe

more. Must love life & horses. 29 4 5 DON'T PASS THIS BUTCH BY. The Count seeks femme, 18 -2 7 , for nights of dark mystery. Smoker who enjoys bowling, pool, dancing, music... No more broken hearts, please! 2 9 5 7

2807

TEN M O T H ER S

a m e r i c a n bi s t r o

, educated, NewMedia freak longs for a meaty Amazon librarian type who’s fierce and original in her life/art. Vegetarian, NS a +. Track me. 2 8 18 34

2892

9 272

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w e’re open 2 4 h o u rs a day! GWM, 45, LOVES COOKING, GARDEN ING, travel, long drives. ISO GWM, 3 5 -

, for LTR. Let’s get to know each other. 2 8 14 ______________________ 55

Assrfdnq m m

GWM, LATE 50S ISO MALES FOR FUN 81

friendship. Age/race open. I’m 5 ’io”, balding 81 a little overweight, but love to please. 2 8 4 1 ___________________ CAN JOHNNY COME OUT AND PLAY? Is Johnny afraid to come out or be found out? GWPM, 4 2 , ISO others, 2 5 -4 5 , who want to play or LTR. Marital status not important. 28 48 _______________

gr. eyes, 5 *9 ”, 16 0 lbs., boyish-looking. You: 18 -25 GWM, good-looking, loves snuggling, animals, hometime 81 playtime. One-nighters OK. ISO LTR. 29 80 GWM ISO YOUNG MEN. I’M BLOND,

SPIRITUAL COMPANION. GWM, 39.

’ ”, 19 8 lbs., br. hair/bl. eyes. Hobbies: literature, movies, art 8t the ater. Seeks intelligent, sensual, creative GM, NS, ND, no fats, no femmes. 2 9 5 2 NEW TO SCENE. SWM, 5 0 , seeks top males for fun and friendship. Age/race open. I’m 5 ’n ”, med. build, blue eyes, brown hair. 2 9 3 5 __________________ 5 8

ISO CHUBBY OR LARGER GWM IN THE

Burl, area for romance, LTR and/or friendshhip. Age unimportant. 2 78 0

MOSTLY SUBMISSIVE GWM, 35. 6’, 185

lbs. Handsome, masculine “guy next door” seeks simiilar males, 2 0 -4 0 , for erotic S8lM role games. 2 7 9 4

JUST GOING AROUND AGAIN FOR A

chance at romance—really 81 truly, that is! Perhaps you’d like to meet up with me sometime real soon? GM is in a usual way; looking for romance. 29 0 4

SUBMISSIVE MALE SEEKS DOMINANT

male. Can I please you? 2883 ________

erot ic times. 2 0 -4 0 , healthy and good look ing, playful & passionate. 2 9 7 1 ______

ATTRACTIVE CU ISO BIF TO SHARE

ENJOY HIKING, SKIING, GYM, SUSHI,

outgoing. Looking for 2 5 -3 5 YO with similar interests, fun 81 muscular. Burlington. 2 8 5 9 SWBiM, 42, ST. ALBANS AREA, domestic type ISO Bi/GM, 3 0 -4 5 . No head games, NS. Are you clean, honest, spir itual 81 hairy? Sincere LTR only. 2 8 7 6

mm f .

attractive, SWF, mid-2 0 S, full-figured, educated, active, fun, love art horror movies. ISO SM, 2 i- 3 oish, smart 81 cre ative, not absorbed in appearances. fan a +. Serious inquires only. Box 5 13 _____________________ 49, TRADITIONAL, ADVENTUROUS, lib eral, irreverent, spiritual, empathetic, sensual 81 curious, seeks humorous, kind, active man with passion for living life’s questions, who would cherish a partner with whom to enjoy some answers. Box 50 1 _________________ &

S i m p s o n s

BEAUTIFUL SPRING GODDESS, 33, WITH

one child, healthy lifestyle. Seeks kind, nspired, passionate, handsome, soul ful man, 2 5 -4 0 . Drawn to: dance, fire light, drums, summer waters, sunsets, woods, ancient cultures, Gaia’s myster ies. Box 5 0 7

MWP NICE GUY (SUGAR DADDY) SEEKS

mistress: attractive, fun, young woman who knows what she wants and willing to be or act kinky and caring at occasional rendezvous. Calls only. 2908 AMATEUR MALE STRIPPER, BLOND, FIT,

tan, performs at all-male parties for free. I tease, then I please. A wild time for you a*d your friends. Adult videos a possibility. 2 9 13 _________________

SWF in Plattsburgh. ISO full-figured, affectionate SWM, 2 5 -4 5 , to spend time with. Hearty laughter, fiery passion & sharp wit. Let’s share. Box 4 9 4 SPUNKY SPF, 30S, SKIER, ACTIVE, ath letic, fun, health-conscious, intuitive, vegetarian, focused. Enjoys travelling, adventure, mountains. ISO SPM, similar qualities, communicative, open, patient, emotionally mature, sensitive, positive, funny, fit, happy. Box 488 ACTIVE, LITERATE, CREATIVE, MATURE

F searching for man, 5 5 -6 5 , who can laugh while discussing the meaning of life. Let’s try canoeing, walking in the woods, or sharing dim sum. Box 4 83

mm As&ldnq womm POPEYE SEEKING OLIVE OYL SWM, 3 2 , thin, attractive, intelligent, emotionally stable. Very affectionate; however, suf fers severe initial shyness. Many inter ests. Seeking mutual chemistry with stable, 3 0 s, Olive. No chubby Looney Tunes, please! Box 5 1 1

•

The one you wanted was locked, I let you tour mine. Can’t forget your auburn hair and green eyes. Ben 81 Jerry’s rumor’s true. Interested? 2 9 6 2 ________

4/17. OH! FAIR DAMSEL, ELEGANT AND

true, I bow before thee. Regal beauty, gown of blue crossed my path, hours half before midnight. I on my steel horse, you smiled, pure and bright.

LAUREN, SUGAR DADDY IS INTERESTED,

THE ORCHID, FRIDAY. YOU: OFFICE

29 YO NIHILIST SEEKS NOTHIN^. Please send photograph. Box 50 9 __________

WELL-TRAINED, DOMESTICATED,

PENURIUS WORKAHOLIC WITH WORTHY

•

CATHY, PLEASE CALL AD 2745 AGAIN.

Environments(7?), dark hair, white Tshirt. Me: Dirty blonde, tall. I did a big double-take and you caught me! Are you available? Interested? 2 9 7 9

loves Prine, Rush, Brown, redheads, Orientals, walks, cuddling, basketball, cooking, eBay, attending auctions, comedy, theater, fairs, cruises. Must have direction 8t like to drive! Box 5 14 SWM, 38, MANLY, NOT MACHO, sensi tive, not a wimp. Contemplative, fun, intellectual, witty, polite, open-minded conservative. ISO adult, bright, femi nine woman to share traditional values, mutual passions and LTR. Box 4 9 9

•

didn't get your telephone number. ISO sexy Sugar Momma for frolicking good times. Discretion assured. 2 8 5 7 Thanks. 2 7 4 5 ____________________ Bi-CURIOUS DWM, 40 s, slim, gentle sin THE PLACE THAT BROUGHT US TOGETH cere, climber, skier, long brown hair, br. ER is gone now, but the memories will forever be with us. Victoria, Jim, Chris, eyes, intuitive, open mind, free spirit, Dave Andrew, good luck 81 I love you mellow, mystical. Longing for relaxed, intimate exp. w/ receptive CU. 2 8 7 9 AIMEE (CHASE-ING AMY), YOUR Animal Crackers are in. The Gym misses you. Jeff, too. Like a mystery? Me 2 . Call 4 duh De-Tails. 4 U R 2 6 E 4 words.

IMAGINATIVE, FUN SWM, 30, ISO

MONTPELIER SWM, 42, 6’, 200 LBS.,

m m

SWM, 30ISH, WITH A LOT OF STAMINA,

but you forgot to leave your phone number. 2908 ____________________

i i ? ___________________________________

•

3/10, ESSEX. YOU: CONDO SHOPPING.

interested in fit, intelligent Fs, 3 0 -5 0 , for sensual, discreet rendezvous. No commitment, just unbelievable pleasure. 2 8 5 2 _____________________

BiWM, 48, 5’io", 170 LBS., ISO OTHER

DWM, 53, SECURE PROFESSIONAL W/

SWM, 45, ATHLETIC, INTELLIGENT,

m i_____________________

varied interests. Looking for a full-fig ured, active tomboy to share outdoor activities, the seasons 81 smiles. Box

$ 1.99 a minute, must be 18 or older.

COUPLE LOOKING FOR HOT, YOUNG

2976

27 YO, FULL-FIGURED, AFFECTIONATE

“WISH I COULD MEET A GIRL JUST LIKE YOU!" I’m sick of hearing that one. I’m

passionate, ISO fit, attractive lady, 20 , for disreet rendezvous. No headgames. Intimacy, friendship, pleasure. 2 9 9 5 ______________________ 23 YO M, FIT, ACTIVE, HEALTHY, attrac tive, seeks F, 2 5 -4 0 , to be my mentor in the art of pleasure. I’d like to be a master. Must be clean, attractive 81 45

naughty, but nice, playmates to share erotic, romantic, imaginative, safe adventures w/ lonely 8t Ma welcome, 3 somes too. Discreet/clean a must. 28 8 1

vivacious, witty and intelligent with heart of gold! Enjoys outdoors, run ning, dancing, cooking, arts/film. ISO PM, 3 4 -4 0 , intelligent, physically fit, fun(ny), energetic, secure. LTR w/ someone special as partner 81 best friend. Box 4 9 6 ___________________

c/o

SWM, 40S, INTELLIGENT, ATHLETIC 81

MaWM, EARLY 40’S, ATTRACTIVE, FIT &

^PF, PETITE, PRETTY, ATHLETirN?;

Seal your response in an envelope, write box # on the outside and place in another envelope with $5 for each response. Address to: PERSON TO PERSON SEVEN DAYS. P.O. Box 1 1 6 4 , Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 2

Bi/CU who are articulate, adventurous, creative, to share friendship and imaginative fun. 2 9 2 7 __________________

full of energy, seeking slim to mediumbuilt SWF or MaWF, 2 5 -4 5 , to experi ence erotic adventures 81 fantasies with clean, safe, discreet. Same expected.

To respond to Letters Only ads:

good-looking. Looking for CU for discreet, adult fun. Discretion expected assured. 29 9 0

WM, 38, 5’6", 145 LBS.,

•

DWM, , ND, blue-eyed, hopeless romantic ISO S/DPF w/ children for LTR. My true love is out there, is it you? Box 50 6 29

AFFECTIONATE, ATTRACTIVE, TALL, FIT

dad, 3 1 , goal-oriented, positive, own business, country life, occasional 4 2 0 , mtn. biking, camping, hockey. Love lit tle people? Smile? Sometimes silly? Let’s express w/ pen then. Box 4 9 5 STARS. MOON 81 NORTHERN UGHTS,

yet...romance takes two; I don’t have you: late 30 s, slim, attVBctive, fashion attitude, pragmatic, green-eyed, majic woman seeking poetic, manly eco-man. Write me. Box 4 8 7 ________________

JILLYBEAN, JUST WANTED TO SAY, “I

___________ You: sugaree in a white dress, short hair, stunning. Me: vest, cap, too hypnotized to speak. I guarded your sweater while you grooved on stage. Your early departure caught me off-guard. Please call. 2 9 2 8 ________________________ SINGLE PEBBLE, FRI., 4/2. You: Beauty in black slacks and blue blouse, wait ing for date. Me: The “sensitive” guy with sister and Mom. Your smile and window glance charmed. More? 2 9 1 7 love you!” SiltyBear.

2966

BRUCE HORNSBY CONCERT, 4/5.

GWF, NS, who is clean, honest, with a good sense of humor. Who likes cuddling, quiet times, dancing 81 traveling. LTR possible w/ right person. Box 4 9 3 GWF, 60, LOOKING W)R Y6UNGER

GWM, 40S, 6’i", 170 LBS., MASC,

muse., lean, spare, coll, edu., travelled, bike, hike, swimaholic, expert mechan ic, honest, trusting, kind, compassion ate. ISO same, athletic, NS, ND, share good times and bad. Box 50 8

SWPM W/ GREAT HUMOROUS SIDE 81

affinity for all critters, 5 *9 ”, 4 0 , 17 0 lbs., brown/curly w/ matching eyeballs. ISO cool, cute SWPF, enjoys strolling 81 chatting, for possible LTR. Box 4 90

dreams, 4 5 , seeks private, deep cat 8t plant owner for original aesthetic min gling. It’s a beautiful life for friendship, affection and mirth. Box 4 9 8 ________ PERHAPS LOVE! Intelligent, handsome, ATTRACTIVE, CARING, ND/NS SGWPF, fit SWM, 3 5 , in California correctional 3 4 , ISO NS/ND SGF, attractive, caring, facility for non-violent crime, ISO feminine, who enjoys outdoor activi woman who is kind, caring, trim, non- ties, dancing, romance, movies, and judgmental, humorous 81 optimistic. values honesty, communication, comBox 500 _________________________ mitments, friendship 8t LTR. Box 4 9 1 GENTLE MAN, DWM STARTING OVER, LOOKING TO MEET that special some honest and caring ISO middle-age lady one to share my life! And find some who wants to be understood, respect great friends out there! I’m easy-going, ed and loved. Enjoy the outdoors and caring, loving, warm, kind, loyal, hon taking time to smell the flowers this est 81 lots more. I’m a Virgo 81 single. time around. Box 50 2 Box 4 9 2

YOUNGER DUDE, 40S, SEEKS OLDER,

5 5 -6 5 , horny woman for erotic encoun ters. We deserve a treat today. Photo? Box 5 16 _________________________

INTIMATE FRIENDSHIP SOUGHT OUT BY

attractive SWM, 6 ’ 2 ”, 18 5 lbs., br./bl. ISO mature, sexy WF, 4 0 -6 0 , for dining out, walks 81 talks, holding hands, ten der kisses, warm embraces... Box 5 15

SM, 35. SKIING OUT, YOU 81 YOUR DOG

were heading in. Stranded on other side of lobby at intermission. Band stopped as our eyes met. Let’s give fate a little boost here! Box 5 0 5

4 digit box numbers can be contacted either through voice mail or by letter. 3 digit box numbers can only be contacted by letter. Send letter along w/ $5 to PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402 LOVE IN CYBERSPACE. POINT YOUR WEB BROWSER TO

h t t p ://WWW.SEVENDAYSVT.COM

TO SUBM IT YOUR MESSAGE ON-LINE.

How to place your FREE personal ad with Person to Person

m t o (P o h w n

•F IL L OUT TH IS FORM AND MAIL IT t o : P E R SO N A L S , P .O . BOX 1 1 6 4 , B U R L IN G T O N , VT 0 5 4 0 2 OR FAX TO 8 0 2 . 8 6 5 . 1 0 1 5 . PLE A SE CHECK APPRO PRIATE CATEGORY. YOU W ILL RECEIVE YOUR BOX # 6 t PA SSCO DE BY MAIL. • F i r s t 3 0 w o r d s a r e F R E E w it h P e r s o n t o P e r s o n , a d d it io n a l w o r d s a r e 5 0 * e a c h x 4 w e e k s ( $ 2 EACH EXTRA W ORD). • F r e e r e t r ie v a l 2 4 h o u r s a d a y t h r o u g h t h e p r iv a t e 8 0 0 # . (D e t a il s w i l l b e m a il e d t o y o u w h e n YOU PLACE YOUR A D .) IT’S SA FE, CONFIDENTIAL AND F U N !

How to respond • C h o o s e y o u r f a v o r it e a d s a n d n o t e t h e ir b o x n u m b e r s . • C a l l 1 - 9 0 0 - 3 7 0 - 7 1 2 7 FROM A TOUCH-TONE p h o n e . 1 - 9 0 0 # BLOCK? C A L L 1 - 8 0 0 - 7 1 0 - 8 7 2 7 . •FO LLO W IN G THE VOICE PR O M PTS, PU NCH IN THE 4 -D IG IT BOX # O F TH E AD YOU W ISH TO —— .R E S P O N D TO, OR YOU MAY BROW SE A S P E C IF IC CATEGORY. ^ C A L L S COST $ 1 . 9 9 PE R M IN UTE. YOU M UST BE OVER 1 8 YEARS OLD.

FR E E 3 0 W ORD PERSO NAL AD

Confidential Information (W E N E E D T H I S T O R U N Y O U R A D )

N a m e ____ Ad d r e s s .

STATE.

C it y _____ Z ip ______

Pl e a s e ,

.PHONE. a v a l id a d d r e s s , a n d

p.o.

p l e a s e w r it e c l e a r l y .

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• AD S W ITH A 3 -D IG IT BOX # CAN BE CONTACTED TH ROU GH THE MAIL. S e a l y o u r r e s p o n s e in a n e n v e l o p e , w r it e t h e b o x # o n t h e ^O U T SID E AND PLACE IN ANOTHER EN VELO PE W ITH $ 5 FOR EACH ■ r e s p o n s e , a d d r e ss to : 7 p e r s o n a l s , C /O B o x 1 1 6 4 , B u r l in g t o n , V T 0 5 4 0 2 .

D TO A PE R SO N TO PER SO N AD.

WOMEN SEEKING MEN Me n S e e k i n g W o m e n Wom en S eeking w o m e n Me n S e e k i n g Me n

*' april 28,1999

Two FREE weeks for: I SPY OTHER

□

C H EC K H E R E IF Y O U ’D P R E F E R “Letters o n ly ”

SEVEN DAYS

page 51

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SUM M ER

. ..

GRADUATE PROGRAMS EDUCATION / SPECIAL EDUCATIO N

T EA C H IN G EN G LISH A S A SEC O N D LA N G U A G E (MATESL)

Master in Education • Certificate of Advanced Graduate Study • Professional Advancement

FIRST SESSION (MAY 17-JUNE 25) GED 518 Adolescent Development (3cr.)

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(E)=Elective

FIRST SESSION (MAY 17-JUNE 25) (R) GSL 543 Teaching Oral Skills in ESL/EFL and English Phonology (4cr.) Monday-Thursday, 10:00-12:00Noon

(E) GSL 562 Audio-visual Communication (Non-Computer) in ESL/EFL (3cr.) Monday - Friday, 8:00-9:35am & 1:00-3:30pm (June 7-18)

(E) GSL 565 Grammar in the Classroom (3cr.) Monday-Thursday, 1:00-2:45pm

(R) GSL 688 Practicum II: Classroom Teaching - Part 1 (3cr.) By arrangement SECOND SESSION (JUNE 28-AUGUST 6) (R) GSL 500 Introduction to Language and Linguistics (3cr.) Monday - Thursday, 8:00-9:45am

(R) GSL 502 English Grammar (4cr.) Monday - Thursday, 3:00-5:00pm

(R) GSL 506 Communication Skills (3cr.) Monday - Thursday, 3:00-4:45pm

(E) GSL 520 Computer Assisted Language Learning (3cr.) Monday - Thursday 1:00-2:45pm

(R) GSL 542 Theory and Method in Second Language Teaching (3cr.) Monday - Thursday, 10:15am-12:00Noon

(R) GSL 543 Teaching Oral Skills in ESL/EFL and English Phonology (4cr.) Monday -Thursday, 8:00-10:00am

(E) GSL 685 Practicum I: Seminar/Observation (3cr.)

Monday - Thursday, 9:00-11:00am

(R) GSL 688 Practicum II: Classroom Teaching - Part 2 (3cr.) By arrangement (E) GSL 689I Materials Development in TESL (3cr.)

(E) GSL 611 Sociopragmatics (3cr.) Monday - Thursday 10:15-12:00Noon

(E) GSL 612 Bilingualism and Multicultural Education (3cr.) Monday - Thursday 8:00-9:45am

(E)GSL 620 Testing and Evaluation in TESL/TEFL (3cr.)

Friday, 9:00am-4:00pm (June 25, July 9,16,23, 30)

GED 582 Advanced Uses of the Internet (3 cr.) Tuesday & Thursday, 5:00-8:15pm

GED 584 Technology Planning for Vermont’s K-12 Schools (3)

NEW OGED 626 Visual Approaches to Teaching Mathematics II (3cr.)

Friday 1:00-4:00pm (Aug 6); Saturday - Friday 8:30am-12:00Noon & 1:00-4:00pm (Aug 7, 9,10, 12,13)

Monday-Friday, 8:00am-1:30pm (June 23-July 2) Albert D. Lawton School, Essex Jet.

(E) GSL 602 Intercultural Communication (3cr.)

GED 633 Legal and Professional Issues (3cr.)

Friday 1:00-4:00pm (Aug 6); Saturday - Friday 8:30am-12:00Noon & 1:00-4:00pm (Aug 7, 9,10, 12,13)

Tuesday & Thursday, 5:00-8:15pm (May 18-June 24)

SECOND SESSION (JUNE 28 - AUGUST 6) GED 512 Educational Technology for Math and Science in the Secondary School (Grades 7-12) (3cr.)

(E) GSL 689F Course Design and Materials Development for the EFL Context (3cr.) Friday 1:00-4:00pm (Aug 6); Saturday - Friday 8:30am-12:00Noon & 1:00-4:00pm (Aug 7, 9,10, 12,13)

Monday-Friday, 8:00am-12:00pm (July 19-30) Champlain Valley Union High School, Hinesburg

A/EWOGED 517 Building A Collaborative School Culture (3cr.)

(E) GSL 689H Cross-Language Analysis: Sociopragmatics and Cross-cultural Processes (3cr.)

Monday-Friday, 8:30am-12:30pm (June 28-July 2) Saturday, 8:30am-1:00pm (Sept.11, Oct. 9, Nov. 13, Dec. 11)

GED 528 Practical Management and Curriculum in the Multiage/Multilevel Classroom (3cr.)

Friday 1:00-4:00pm (Aug 6); Saturday - Friday 8:30am-12:00Noon & 1:00-4:00pm (Aug 7,9,10,12,13)

(E) GSL 689M Drama in Language Teaching (3cr.)

Friday 1:00-4:00pm (Aug 6); Saturday - Friday 8:30am-12:00Noon & 1:00-4:00pm (Aug 7, 9,10, 12, 13)

(E) GSL 689N Promoting Oral Skills in ESL/EFL (3cr.)

Friday 1:00-4:00pm (Aug 6); Saturday - Friday 8:30am-12:00Noon & 1:00-4:00pm (Aug 7,9,10,12,13)

(E) GSA 522 Power and Politics in Organizations (3 cr.) Monday & Wednesday, 5:00-8:15pm

(E) GSA 523 Interpersonal Communication (3 cr.)

GED 544 The Moral Dimensions of Education (3cr.) Monday-Friday, 1:00-5:20pm (July 6-16) Note: Class begins Tuesday, July 6 GED 558 Introduction to Educational Research (3cr.) GED 560 The Reading Process for Teachers (3cr.) Monday-Thursday, 12:30-4:30pm (July 6-20) Note: Class begins Tuesday, July 6 GED 564 School Finance (3cr.) Monday - Friday, 8:00am-12:00pm (July 19-30)

GED 569 The Art of Bopkmaking (3 cr.)

Sunday 4:00-9:00pr | r O » l * 7 -Friday 8:30-5:00pm (June 27-July 2)

Master of Science in Adm inistration • Certificate o f Advanced Management Study Nonprofit Management Series

Tuesday, 5:00-& J£» *< ® D 1,8,15, 22) & Friday, 1:00-7:(»fM Pune 11,18)

Monday-Friday, 8:00am-12:00pm (July 19-30)

Monday & Thursday, 5:00-8:00pm (June 28-August 5)

A D M IN IS T R A T IO N A N D M A N A G E M E N T

FIRST SESSION (MAY 17-JUNE 25) (C) GSA 511 Managerial Presentations (2cr.)

GED 600 Advanced Integrating Technology into the Curriculum (3cr.)

Monday-Friday, 8:30am-12:30pm (June 21-July 2)

Monday - Thursday 10:15-12:00Noon

Course Key: (Q)=Qualifying (C)=Core (E)=Elective

GED 533 The Illustrated Book: Words and Images (3cr.)

(E) GSL 563 Content Based Language Instruction (3cr.)

GSL 689K Professional Development through Action Research (3cr.)

Monday - Thursday 8:00-9:45am

GED 598 LOGO (3cr.)

Monday & Wednesday, 5:00-8:15pm (May 17-June 23)

(R) GSL 604 Second Language Acquisition (3cr.) (E) GSL 605 History of the English Language (3cr.)

GED 519 Child Development (3cr.)

Friday 1:00-4:00pm (Aug 6); Saturday - Friday 8:30am-12:00Noon & 1:00-4:00pm (Aug 7, 9,10, 12,13)

Friday 1:00-4:00pm (Aug 6); Saturday - Friday 8:30am-12:00Noon & 1:00~4:00pm (Aug 7, 9,10, 12,13)

Monday - Thursday 3:00-4:45pm

Monday-Friday, 8:00am-12:15pm (June 28-July 9) Williston Central School, Route 2, Williston VT

NEW a>GED 568 Children’s Book Publishing: From Idea to Printed Book (3cr.)

LATE SESSION (AUGUST 6-13) (E) GSL 520 Computer Assisted Language Learning (3cr.)

(R) GSL 544 Teaching Reading and Writing in ESL/EFL (4cr.) Monday - Thursday, 12:45-2:45pm

Monday & Wednesday, 5:00-8:15pm (May 17-June 23)

Monday & Thursday, 5:00-8:15pm (May 17-June 24)

Monday - Thursday 1:00-2:45pm

Monday, 5:003?:15pm

Monday-Friday, 8:00am-12:15pm (June 28-July 9) Williston Central School, Route 2, Williston VT

GED 602 Relationship in the Classroom for the Child with a Severe Emotional Disturbance (3cr.) Monday-Friday, 9:00am-5:00pm (August 2-6)

GED 604 Teachers Writing, Writing Teachers: A Writing Workshop for K-16 Teachers Across Disciplines (3cr.) Wednesday-Friday (July 21-23) & Monday-Thursday (July 26-29)

GED 612 Mathematics: Instruction for Understanding (Coursework & Practica) (3cr.) Monday-Friday, 8:30-11:30am (June 28-July 16)

GED 614 Understanding the Basics of Learning Disorders (3cr.)

Monday-Friday, 8:00am-12:00pm (July 12-23)

GED 615 Affective Education in the Classroom: Education From the Heart (3cr.) Monday-Friday, 9:00am-5:00pm (July 19-23)

M EW oG ED 619 Environment and Education: Lessons From the Outdoor Classroom (3cr.) Monday-Friday, 8:30am-4:30pm (July 19-23)

GED 635 Living and Learning in the Middle Grades VI: Curriculum and Organization (3cr.)

Sunday-Friday (Institute/Residency: June 27-July 2) Johnson State College, Johnson, Vermont

GED 641 Instruction of Students with Learning Problems: Elementary Level (3cr.) Monday-Friday, 8:30-11:30am (July 19-August 6)

A/EW OGED 651 Hands On! Learning In and Through the Visual Arts (3cr.) Monday-Friday, 8:30am-1:00pm (July 6-16)

Note: Class begins Tuesday, July 6 GED 670 Bringing History and Literature to Life Through the ARTS (3cr.) Monday-Friday, 9:00am-5:00pm (June 28-July 2) Shelburne Museum, Shelburne, Vermont

GED 684 School and Community (3cr.) Monday-Friday, 8:00am-12:00pm (July 6-17) Note: Class begins Tuesday, July 6 GED 695 Investigating Science and Loving It: Constructivist Science and Curriculum Connections (3cr.) Monday-Friday, 4:00-8:00pm (August 2-13)

IVfIVO G ED 698 The Diagnostic Process(1cr.)

Monday-Friday, 8:30am-11:30am (July 19-23) The Stem Center, Williston

GED 588 Hard Disk Management for Windows (3cr.)

LATE SESSION (AUGUST 9 - AUGUST 20) GED 505 Curriculum Development: Developing Units of Study Using The Vermont Standards (3cr.)

Monday-Friday, 8:00am-12:15pm (June 28-July 9) Williston Central School, Route 2, Williston VT

Monday-Friday, 8:00am-12:00pm (July 12-Juiy 23)

IVEIVOGED 575 Spirituality and Education(3cr.) Monday-Friday, 8:00am-12:00pm (July 19-30)

FIRST AND SECOND SESSIONS (MAY 17-AUGUST 6) (Q) GSA 492 Application of Economic Theory ( 3 c r V \ , 0 ^ ^

GED 597 Integrating Technology into the Curriculum (3cr.)

Monday-Friday, 8:00am-12:00pm (August 9-20)

TH EO LO G Y A N D PASTO RAL M IN IST R Y

C o m m u n ic a tio n j^ jjj^

Wednesday, 5d-M3f>TTi(May 19, 26; June 2, 9, 16,23, 30; July 7,14,21)

Master of A rts in Theology • Advanced Graduate Certificate • A uditin g and Enrichment

GTH 506 Invitations to Grace: The Sacraments of the Church (3cr.)

SECOND SESSION (JUNE 28-AUGUST 6) (E) GSA 564 New Product Development (3 cr.)

Monday-Friday, 1:00-4:00pm (June 28-July 16)

GTH 703 Self Awareness and Compassion (3cr.) Monday-Friday, 8:00-11:00am (June 28-July 16)

Tuesday, 5:00-8:15pm (first class meets on June 29)

GTH 522 Prophets of the Old Testament (3cr.)

Monday-Friday, 8:00-11:00am (June 28-July 16)

GTH 711 Contemporary Christian Spirituality: Its Meaning and Elements (3cr.)

Tuesday & Thursday, 5:00-8:15pm

(E) GSA 591 Special Topics: Training for the Trainer (3 cr.)

GTH 535 Catechesis and Leadership: Purposes, Principles & Processes (3cr.)

GTH 750A Relational Theology: Challenge to a Postmodern Society (1cr.)

(F)GSA 554 Professional Effectiveness (3 cr.)

(E) GSA 609 Financial Management Issues for Nonprofits (1 cr.)

Tuesday & Thursday, 5:00-8:15pm

(E) GSA 546 Comparative Management and International Business (3 cr.)

Monday - Friday, 8:00 am-4:30pm (May 24-28)

Monday -Friday, 8:30am-4:30pm (July 12-16)

7:00-9:00pm (Friday, July 23); 8:00am-4:00pm (Saturday, July 24); 8:00-10:30am & 1:00-3:30pm (July 26-30)

GTH 565 Matthew’s Gospel (3cr.)

Saturday, 9:00am-1:00pm (July 10,17, 24)

Monday-Friday, 1:00-4:00pm (July 19-August 6)

(E) GSA 624 Multimedia (1 cr.)

GTH 580 Foundations of Moral Theology (3cr.)

Sunday, 9:00am-1:00pm (July 11,18,25)

Monday-Friday, 1:00-4:00pm (July 19-August 6)

GTH 614 Theology of the Church (3cr.)

CLIN ICAL P SY C H O LO G Y

Monday-Friday, 8:00-11:00am (July 19-August 6)

Master of A rts in Clinical Psychology

GPS 605 Play Therapy(3cr.) pm (May 10-14) Monday-Frid flT>:15pm (May (f 22) Saturday, 8: 1Wm-6:15pm

GPS 649 Special Topics: The Psychotherapy of Schizophrenia (3cr.) Monday-Friday, 8:30am-4:30pm (July 26-30)

GTH 750B Women’s Approaches to Liturgy and Prayer (1cr.) Monday-Friday, 1:00-4:00pm (July 5-July 9)

GTH 750C In Search of Mary (1cr.)

Monday-Friday, 1:00-4:00pm (July 12-July 16)

GTH 751 Spirituality in Education (3cr.) Monday-Friday, 8:00-Noon (July 19-30)

GTH 752 The Moral Dimensions of Education (3cr.)

Tuesday-Friday (July 6-9) & Monday-Friday (July 1216) 1:00-5:20pm

GTH 653 Christology (3cr.)

WORKSHOP: Proclaiming the Word of God: Effective Preaching in a Modern Society

Monday-Friday, 8:00-11:00am (June 28-July 16)

GTH 693 Catholic Health Care Ministry: Challenges for the Millenium (1cr.)

Monday & Thursday, 6:30-9:45pm (May 17-June 24)

Monday-Friday, 1:00-4:00pm (June 28-July 2)

GTH 651 Fundamentals of Spiritual Direction (3cr.) Monday-Friday, 1:00-4:00pm (June 28-July 16)

GPS 513 Advanced Developmental Psychology (3cr.)

Monday-Friday, 8:00-11:00am (July 19-August 6)

Monday-Friday, 8:00-11:00am (July 12-July 16)

Friday, 7:00-9:00pm; Saturday, 8:00am-4:00pm; Sunday, 9:00-Noon (July 23-July 25)

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Prevel Programs Saint Michael’s College One Winooski Park, Colchester, VT 054%

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prevel@smcvt.edu www.smcvt.edu/prevel 4P»

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