Seven Days, February 7, 2001 by Seven Days

“Come on in and give it a test drive. Not only will you fmd gear you never expected to see in a car, you’ll experi ence a powerful thrust of acceleration and a ride as smooth as glass!” Pewter metallic 4-door V6 automatic with air, cruise, CD, power locks & windows, remote keyless entry, roof rack, tinted glass. Stock #201062.Was $23,375

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Black 4-door V6 automatic with air, cruise, CD, power locks & windows, remote keyless entry, sunroof, leather-wrapped steering wheel with radio controls. Stock #201096. Was $25,955

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Steel blue metallic 4-door V6 auto matic with air, cruise, 6-disc CD changer, power locks & windows, remote keyless entry, sliding rear cargo tray, traction control, power driver’s seat, tinted glass. Stock #201140. Was $24,480

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J-PUBLISHERS/EDITORS Pamela Polston, Paula Routly GENERAL MANAGER Rick Woods CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Peter Freyne ASSISTANT EDITOR George Thabault ART DIRECTION Donald Eggert, Tara Vaughan-Hughes PRODUCTION MANAGER Lucy Howe

NGETBRIML

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Features

OFFICE CHAMELEON & THIRD EYE Rev. Diane Sullivan

CLASSIFIEDS MANAGER/ PERSONALS Josh Pombar SALES MANAGER David Booth ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Kristi Batchelder, Michelle Brown, Eve Frankel, Colby Roberts CALENDAR WRITER Alice Christian CIRCULATION Rick Woods INTERN John Mitchell

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lebruary7^T4

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The Personal Touch A love doctor's" prescription for perfect paintings

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When it comes to navigating nuptials, the Internet can be a dot-calming influence

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Marc Awodey, Nancy Stearns Bercaw, Flip Brown, Marialisa Calta, Colin Clary, Kristin D ’Agostino, John Dillon, Erik Esckilsen, Peter Freyne, Anne Galloway, Paul Gibson, Gretchen Giles, Susan Green, Ruth Horowitz, Helen Husher, Jeanne Keller, Kevin J. Kelley, Rick Kisonak, Peter Kurth, Fred Lane, Lola, Lynda Majarian, Richard Mayer, Chris McDonald, Melanie Menagh, Jernigan Pontiac, Robert Resnik, Molly Stevens, George Thabault, Shay Totten, Pip Vaughan-Hughes, Kirt Zimmer PHOTOGRAPHERS Chris Bertelson, Berne Broudy, Andy Duback, Jeremy Fortin, Jordan Silverman, Matthew Thorsen ILLUSTRATORS Harry Bliss, Gary Causer, Sarah Grillo, Luke Eastman, Scott Lenhardt, Paula Myrick, Tim Newcomb, Dan Salamida, Steve Verriest

Anne Stuart is Vermont's goddess of bodice-rippers

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Love Lit?

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Present tense1 A primer for romantically challenged guys By Chris Kozak................................................................... page 31a

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Art review: “Broken Hearts Show, a group show in multi-media

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HACKIE A GOOD RIDE Thanks for running the “Hackie” column. I am often moved by the stories, and look forward to reading the lessons the various passengers bring out for the driver. Pontiac is intelligent and compassionate, and I appreci ate his positive outlook. — Valerie Wood-Lewis Burlington

qu estio

What roman tic message would you tattoo yourself with? MEEOW.

— Christine DuMond Owner, Blossom Dearie Flowers Middlebury Popeye on his knees in front of Olive Oyle, on my butt!

— Charles White

SUPERPIPE REALITY I just read Jeremy Kent’s arti cle on trying out the Superpipe for the first time [“Uneasy Rider,” Jan. 31]. Having taught snow boarding for three years and rid den for 1 3 ,1 can say with a fair amount of experience that no human being has ever had an experience like Mr. Kent’s — dropping in, getting out of the pipe and landing solidly on their first try ever. If what you say is true, Jeremy, you should immediately get on the phone with Burton Snowboards; I’m sure they’ll offer you a contract. Most first-timers either fall while dropping in, smack themselves into the oppo site wall, ride up and scrape

cannot be said of the three responses to the review. Hecht should be ashamed of himself for this line: “Anyone who reads both book and review will quickly sus pect that Vaughan-Hughes’ exces sive reaction stems not from his superabundance of brains but from a deep-seated insecurity about his lack thereof. In other words, that ain’t a head on his shoulders, it’s a chip.” The wounded author tries to offer some constructive criticism — “Vaughan-Hughes can’t pick up nuances and can’t contextual ize” — before aiming another punch below the belt: “Worse, he has no sense of humor!” If those aren’t direct personal attacks, I’ll eat my earmuffs. Dier, too, seems not to know the rules. He suggests that Vaughan-Hughes’ ill-considered revealing of the novel’s culprit was motivated by “amateurism or spite.” That’s psychoanalysis — again, an unfair comment. Weinberg’s assessment is no less egregious: He cites VaughanHughes for “using glib verbiage

Babel review, upon close inspec tion, meets a high standard of rea soned, ethical criticism. Sure, it’s the work of a seasoned smartaleck, but since when is this a crime? Attacking one’s character, however, has always been a crime. The term “fair comment and criticism” refers to one’s right to comment openly — and publicly FIGHTIN’ WORDS — on an artist’s work, so long as “Either books are worth fight those comments are fact-based, ing over or they’re not,” writes are not directed at the artist’s per Walter Kirn in this week’s New sonal character'and are not mali York Times Book Review. To some cious. Vaughan-Hughes is clean Seven Days readers, they clearly on all counts. There’s no question are. Count me in. Moved by the he was underwhelmed by BabeL appalling unfairness of three responses to Pip Vaughan-Hughes’ Look carefully at his review, though, and tell me he doesn’t review of Daniel Hecht’s The support his propositions — and Babel Effect [Weekly Mail, Jan. there are positive comments 31], I’d like to make Hecht, mixed in with the negative — Hilton Dier III and Jerry with factual evidence drawn from Weinberg aware that, beyond the text. Now look through the emitting a collective whine more review again, trying to hunt down shrill than a daycare just before a single mention of Hecht’s per naptime, they have, in fact, violat sonal character. You won’t find ed Vaughan-Hughes’ rights. one. Even this line attributes a lit While it’s true that Vaughanerary lack to “the writing,” not the Hughes and I are Seven Days col writer: “The writing is flat and leagues, I would not write merely matter-of-fact, and expends no to defend him; no doubt he can effort on things like suspense.” defend himself. Not that he To my utter disgust, the same should feel compelled to. His

down, or at best manage a hop turn (no air time involved) with out falling. Don’t make it seem easy; it involves a lot of hard work and bruises. Keep it real. — Than Durgin Castleton

Continued on page 34a

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Through the Looking Glass

our counfry has s u ffe r a h°sfile Takeover

President Ramaley declined to discuss her rela tionship with Joan Smith. She referred us to her statement prepared in response to the “No Confidence” petition. In it she referred to the peti tion as an “expression of concern.” She called it “a natural stage in the campus adjustment to the reali ties of the need for change.” How sweet.

There is no Santa Claus. No Easter Bunny, either. No Cinderella and no Jack in the Beanstalk and, most definitely, there is no power struggle at UVM between President Judith Ramaley and Joan Smith, the dean of the College of Arts and Sciences. Civil Unions, Canadian-style — “The Editors,” the Pure fiction. weekly PBS talking-heads show produced in It’s just that everyone at UVM we talked to says Montreal, took up civil unions and gay marriage last everybody knows there is a power struggle between weekend. But despite the fact Judy and Joan, and they say it’s that Gov. Howard Dean is a reg been under way for years. And ular on the program, we’re told now, with faculty members poised he didn’t want any part of this for a union vote in April and one. Instead, Republican State some circulating a “No Rep. George Schiavone of Confidence in Ramaley” petition Shelburne, a leading opponent this week, the pot’s about ready to of civil unions, represented boil over. Please, stand back! Vermont. Joining George and a Veteran political science pro few Canadian politicos was the fessor Garrison Nelson called the openly gay mayor of Platts “No Confidence” petition a “pre burgh, New York, Dan Stewart. emptive strike” that has Smith’s Stewart opposes civil unions. fingerprints all over it. “Smith is “I was so glad to meet him,” trying to sandbag Ramaley before Schiavone told Seven Days. Ramaley sandbags her.” “What a good guy he is. He’s Nelson told Seven Days that against gay marriage for other Smith and her husband, former reasons than I am. I told him,” gubernatorial candidate Peter said George, “‘You’re a breath of Welch, “wanted to be the fresh air!”’ Democratic Snellings, with Peter Sounds like love at first holding the governor’s office and soundbite. Joan holding high office at the university” — a reference to the Along the Thin Green Line — late Governor Richard Snelling There was quite the little buzz and wife Barbara Snelling, who in the Statehouse last Friday — served as a UVM vice-president B Y P E T E R F R E Y N E a buzz aroused by some very for many years. Snelling defeated partisan and factually challenged testimony given by Welch in the 1990 governor’s race. a prominent business-sector leader at a public hear And Garrison noted, “Eyebrows were raised ing on Act 250. The environmental committees when it was learned that the architect of Corey from both chambers wanted to hear what, if any LaTulippe’s multi-million dollar lawsuit was Joan’s thing, should be done to improve Act 250, daughter, Mary Kehoe.” LaTulippe’s 1999 lawsuit Vermont’s landmark development-control law. rocketed UVM’s ice hockey hazing scandal to the Frank Cioffi, president of the pro-development national airwaves. “It blackened UVM’s reputation Greater Burlington Industrial Corporation (GBIC), nationwide, and the damage has not been undone,” devoted most of his testimony to trashing the tactics he said. and integrity of the leading anti-sprawl environment But Dean Smith, in an interview conducted via organization in Vermont, the Conservation Law e-mail Tuesday, discounted Nelson’s charges. Foundation (CLF). Mr. Cioffi knows these treeAccording to Smith, “There is no clash of personali huggers quite well. ties between myself and the President.” They enjoy GBIC and CLF went to war a couple years ago. what she called “a good working relationship.” To The issue was Frankie’s desire to extend the town suggest otherwise, wrote Smith, “is a fabrication.” sewer line in Milton four miles out of the village, She has “no other plans than to stay on as Dean of connecting to GBIC’s Catamount Industrial Park. the College of Arts and Sciences.” In the end, CLF won. Extension denied. It was clear Well, if it’s a fabrication, it’s one that everyone from his testimony Friday that Frank hasn’t gotten we spoke with buys into — including administra over it. tors and faculty members in both camps. All Cioffi (pronounced coffee) went on to accuse acknowledged the campus-wide perception of a cut New England’s oldest environmental group of throat rivalry between the president and the dean. implementing a tactical strategy designed to gum up Hilary Kornblith, a philosophy professor, claims the wheels of development. Mr. Cioffi testified CLF authorship of the “No Confidence” petition. While was delaying “hundreds” of storm water discharge he describes himself as a “friend” of Smith’s, he (SWD) permits by filing appeals at the last minute, insisted “Joan Smith had nothing to do with this.” “usually on the 29th day at the 12 th hour of the He charged “the values Ramaley brings are foreign public comment period.” to the College of Arts and Sciences.” Ramaley, he Cioffi, once Howard Dean’s Commissioner of said, had failed to solve UVM’s budget problems Economic Development, said the office at the and “enhance academic quality.” “It would be Agency of Natural Resources is understaffed and delightful,” he said, “if President Ramaley resigned.” overworked. “CLF has been filing appeals,” he said, Kornblith said he hoped the petition would “com “on just about every storm water discharge permit plement” the union drive, that goes into that office... In essence,” he charged, v However, a number of pro-union faculty we “they’re locking up the process.” spoke with are fearful Kornblith’s petition may do What a mean, wicked, bad and nasty bunch of the opposite. They worry that, if Ramaley were to tree-hugging lawyers are they, eh? step down, the trustees could effectively argue that Maybe not. You see, about a half-hour later, the union should back off and give a new president, CLF’s point man in Vermont took the witness chair. whoever that might be, a chance to address faculty As you might expect, Mark Sinclair testified to the concerns. glories of Act 250. Then Sen. Barbara Snelling asked History Professor Mark Stoler, a leader of the how many SWD permits CLF had appealed. She union effort, told Seven Days, “the petition has said they’d been told the number was in the hun nothing to do with the union. Nothing.” dreds. Acknowledging the feud between Ramaley and Sinclair was dumbfounded. “Hundreds?” he Smith, Stoler emphasized, “We are not concerned laughed aloud. “I don’t have a staff that could do with personalities. We are concerned with struc that.” The CLF lawyer told the panel he could think ture.” The problems will remain, he said, regardless of “three” SWD permit appeals filed by his outfit. of who is president. They appealed, he said, because they believed “the Stoler admitted he’s a little worried. “It could be permits were issued illegally.” One on the giant Mary damaging to the union,” he said, “if the petition passes.”

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Curses, Foiled Again After a Buffalo, New York, cabdriver reported three men robbed him at gunpoint, police apprehended two suspects. During their court hearing, the prosecutor asked the cabdriver to identify the men who robbed him. He pointed to the two sus pects at the defendants’ table. Then he pointed out a spectator in the back of the courtroom as the man who had held the gun, noting the third suspect, Antonio U. Jones, 17, was wearing the same jacket he had on the night of the robbery. Authorities took Jones into custody. • Police arrested a 26-year-old woman preparing to board a London-bound flight at Zimbabwe’s international airport after they became suspicious of her large bottom. A search revealed 14 pounds of marijuana stuffed in her underwear. • Mark Vincent Hinckley, 37, a member of a federal grand jury in Denver that voted secret indict ments against a suspected drug dealer, went to the dealer’s office and offered to sell information about the government’s case. Part of the evidence that authorities had presented to the grand jury was that the government had bugged the suspect’s office. As a result, investigators overheard Hinckley’s offer and arrested him.

what police believe was the first use of satellite technology to find a bank robber.

ing home that he was determined to live long enough to read the traditional telegram from Queen Elizabeth II congratulating him on his 100th birthday. When it arrived, he opened the envelope, exclaimed, “Yes, I made it,” then dropped dead. Please, Mr. Postman A 43-year-old man in Dunedin, New Zealand, admitted stealing mountains of other peo ple’s mail over the past four years, according to police, who found rooms full of rotting mail in his house. Noting the man emptied his neighbors’ mailboxes into a plastic bag when he went for walks, investigators said he told them he was “lonely and liked reading other people’s mail.”

Shop Till You Drop Researchers at Stanford University Medical School report ed the anti-depressant drug citalopram (brand name Celexa) might deter compulsive buying. The disorder, which affects between 2 and 8 percent of the adult U.S. population, 90 percent of them women, is marked by a preoccupation with buying unneeded items, often leading to personal distress or financial

having their bare breasts rubbed with a ham. The department returned the contribution after City Manager Tom Leath said, “That’s not a way we need to raise money.” • The center for criminological research at Oxford University reported that a shortage of firearms in Britain is forcing rob bers to resort to food, particularly fruit and vegetables. The Banana Bandit, Nigel Gunn Hayward, was jailed for using the fruit as a pretend pistol when holding up three banks in the Bristol area. He was arrested at a nightclub

nEWs QuiRkS 'B Y RO UND SWEET

Lost and Found Ronald Thomas, 38, escaped from'a work crew while serving a 12 -year sentence at a state prison in northwestern Oklahoma. After driving a stolen Corrections Department van 150 miles north to Garden City, Kansas, he called authorities to tell them he was hopelessly lost and asked to be returned to prison. Prison offi cials obliged. • After a 26-year-old man held up a credit union in Vancouver, British Columbia, he jumped into a waiting taxi. Police called the taxi company, which tracked ' the vehicle using its global posi Perfect Timing tioning system to an intersection Robert Talley suffered from a several blocks from the bank. The serious chest infection but told the caregivers at his London nurs man was immediately arrested in

problems. Eighty percent of the participants testing the drug “reported feeling less anxiety, less depression, less impulsiveness,” said Dr. Lorrin Koran, a professor of psychiatry and behavioral sci ences who heads the ongoing study. “The women in the study reported they stopped thinking about shopping.” Inappropriate Uses for Food The Fourth Annual Ham Rubbing, a private fund-raiser that collected $2400 for the Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, fire department, consisted of women dancing on stage while

called Joe Bananas. Ernest Coveley, the Cucumber Crook, pulled off 14 raids around London armed with a vegetable, which he ate afterwards to destroy the evidence. The most recent arrest was Anthony Newton, 57, who surrendered to authorities in December after holding up a wine shop by push ing a Twiglet, a kind of breadstick snack whose current ad campaign describes it as “hazardously knob bly,” into the cashier’s ribs. Sperm in the News Federal authorities accused reputed mobster Antonio Parlavecchio and his wife Maria,

both 36, of smuggling sperm out of the Allenwood, Pennsylvania, federal prison, where he is serv ing time, so she could get preg nant. The Loved One Despite complaints by neigh bors about the smell, a family in the Romanian village of Zagujeni said it refuses to bury the body of 80-year-old Viora Tuser, who died last October. Family members said they received a vision that she is to be resurrected. Satisfaction Not Guaranteed New Jersey dentist Kevin P. Ward agreed to give up his license after being accused of breaking his patients’ bones while restrain ing them to work on their teeth. One of the patients was a 5-yearold boy, whose parents say had his legs broken while Ward per formed a root canal on the wrong tooth. • After Heidi Dickens and Glen McNeill of West Yorkshire, England, noticed their clothes left marks on their new $4500 lightcolored leather sofa, they com plained to the furniture store where they bought it. Store offi cials recommended the couple change their clothes. “Most clothes we wear are dark,” Dickens said. “We bought the sofa because we liked how it looked.” The store was unsympa thetic. “We can’t warn customers of all potential problems,” a spokesperson said. ®

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urprise! It’s Valentines Day, almost. More pre cisely, its Valentines shopping season, and “the slow er economy isn’t stopping shop pers from buying Valentines Day gifts,” according to the International Mass Retail Association, which keeps track of these things. Last month IMRA asked 1000 shoppers if they consid ered themselves “romantic.” Most — 65 percent — said that they did. About a third said no, they didn’t, and the rest weren’t sure — not many, by the sound of it. “Romantic self-perception is highest,” of course, in the demographic everyone wants on the team: consumers aged 18 to 44. “Men plan to spend a lot more than women this year, and almost 28 percent more than they spent last year,” IMRA reports eagerly. “They will buy nearly $122 worth of gifts to show they care, while women plan to spend about $50. Men’s top gift choices are cards and flowers, and women favor giv ing cards and candy.” What, no roses for the guys? In February, greeting-card com panies normally shift their mar keting tactics to men, who oth erwise don’t buy a lot of their products. “Guilt is useful in our promotions,” the industry states, but I think this is the last year they can count on that being the case. I’m 47, though, so I could be wrong. A recent Playboy poll of 750 "American males reveals that 8 percent of them have already “cut back on their bedroom romping” in order to play with their “consumer electronics devices.” Thirty-six percent are “forsaking the outdoors,” Playboy reports, and 33 percent have been exercising less. “Alarmingly,” 79 percent brought “at least one of their devices with them on vacation,” while the average number of “devices” owned was seven per pop. But fear not: This being Playboy, 75 percent also said “that if they were stranded on a desert island, they’d ditch the gizmos in favor of a pretty lady.” Desert islands are big right now, as everyone knows (if you’ve been “outdoors” lately, you’d forsake it, too). First, there’s “Temptation Island” on television, where young couples get to test each other’s “commit ment” by leaving their partners alone in the Caribbean with “fantasy singles” — models, if you prefer, or “prostitutes,” as Margery Eagan calls them in the Boston Herald. “The problem with ‘Reality TV’ is that there’s nothing real about it,” Eagan grumbles. “I

don’t know anyone who’s wres tled crocodiles in the Australian outback.” I don’t know anyone called “Kimmi,” either, but according to CBS’s “Survivor” Web site, Amber, Jerri and Kimmi, in that order, lead the list of “hits” among the female castaways of

ago American women were “optimistic” even though “the economy was rotten.” The Center reached this conclusion by means of another poll, natu rally, co-sponsored by Lifetime Television. Asked about “the way America was going,” women said it was going “awful,” and that they’re “angry,” “sick” and “fed up” about it. These aren’t the words you want to hear in a civil society. In proposing his mammoth tax cut for the rich, President Select has invited all Americans to “join the party” — I kid you not. “It is time to fling those doors and windows open and invite everybody in,” Select declares, but here are all these broody women, still wonder ing, “Is this as good as it gets?” Faludi writes: “Underlying the question [is] a female j ’accuse — against a consumer cul ture where values like caring [have] been severely discount ed. The more you have, the r better it gets, has been the decades-long mantra of com mercialized femininity.” No kidding. Where has this best-selling nitwit been? A nation that’s concluded in just two short weeks that President r Select is “charming” and “daz zling,” indeed, according to news reports, has bigger prob lems than learning French. One of my objections to Vermont’s civil-union law is that it further strengthens the fantasy of the Consuming Couple, the com pletely artificial entity that makes the American economic wheel go round. I’d hoped that gay men and women might escape this kind of thing, but no, now we’ve got our own series on Showtime, “Survivor 2.” Somehow “Queer as Folk.” Like all pro Elisabeth took fourth place — grams on television, it spends she must be for the PBS crowd the bulk of its time titillating its — and Alicia is fifth, “appeal audience, only to tell them that ing” to 18.8 percent of the fidelity is best. Showtime audience. spends more than $1 million on “Absolutely 100 percent of each episode of this ghastly all the emotion [the contes libel, whose scripts, we’re told, tants] are experiencing is bona are both “funnier” and “softer” fide,” says “Temptation Island” than the real thing. executive producer, Chris Thus does “centrism” con Cowan. True, “the most sala spire with the Right. Look for cious moments” on “TI” have Faludi’s “gender gap” to be come from Mandy, a lounge expropriated any minute by the singer, and Billy, who wants to Bushmen. Prizes will soon be be an actor, but, hey, this is given for motherhood, I have “dramality,” as the “Survivor” no doubt, while “Queer as producer calls it. Not for noth Folk,” if it stays on the air, will ing is little Tom Cast Away come out for flag and country. Hanks the cultural apotheosis of “This is an odd and wonderful Consumer Man. mixture of raw and charm,” says Now along comes Susan Showtime’s Dan Lipman, Faludi in Newsweek, moaning another producer who ought to about a “gender gap,” a “grow be strung up on a gibbet. ing disconnect between “Something that is dark and women’s material well-being threatening isn’t something and their sense of satisfaction.” you’d want to return to.” The Center for Policy Goodness, no. Just eat the Alternatives claims that 10 years candy and roll over, already. ®

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ikes!” I yelped, pound ing the brakes with my clunky snow boot. Two feet beyond my front fender, a short, blonde woman was star ing straight at me, grinning and laughing wildly. Her method of taxi-hailing was to place herself in front of a moving cab and execute jumping jacks. It worked. “C ’mon, boys,” she called to two men standing on the side walk in front of the Rusty Scuffer. “Lets do it!” The fringes of her leather jacket shimmied in the cold night air as she shook her hips. Her jeans were ice-blue and leotardtight. Beyond the flashy accou trements, I could discern an attractive woman. She struck me as one of those people who use sexual energy to get attention. I watched the two guys look at each other, nod and walk towards the taxi. One was short, muscular, with a stub of a ponytail. The other man was tall, and lean in a hard way. He sported one of those ubiquitous goatees, considered corny as far back as I can remember until they came into vogue a few years ago. I turned to face the woman again, and she dropped her eyes. She then looked back up at me and mouthed a la Marilyn Monroe, “Thanks, sweetie.” Finally, with deliberate dramatic effect, hips in full swivel, she strutted past my side of the cab and climbed into the back. The men followed, one on either side of her. “Where to, honey?” the taller guy said. “You make the call.” “Graceys Store, darlin’. My friend lives right near there.” She was bouncing on her seat like a 10 -year-old on a hotel bed. Her brown eyes were soft and open, their innocence somewhat surprising. “Did I tell ya we got tons of beer? You guys drink Micheloeb, right?” “Graceys corner it is,” I said automatically, shifting the taxi back into drive. The smaller, muscular guy put his arm around the woman. “W hat’d you say your name was, sweetheart — Sheila?” “Yeah, that’s right,” she said, swinging onto his hips, and placing her hands behind the back of his neck. She was now speaking low and sweet, almost whispery. “You can call me, ‘Tequila Sheila.’ How’s that?”

Before he could answer, Sheila leaned in and covered his mouth with hers. Just like that, they were making out. I watched, astonished, in the rear-view mirror. “Howzabout some of that for me?” Tall Guy blurted out. W ithout a word, seamlessly, Sheila swung off the one guy and onto the other. As the new lovebirds went at

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not have any real idea where she was going, and I was not about to spend the next half-hour playing cruise director on some debauched love boat. The lurid, anxious sex play going down among this threesome was more than I could stomach. I wanted them out, but without provok ing a violent reaction from either of the two men. “The bars are closing; I got

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# { Dungeness Crab Imperial Roll it, Short Guy shook his head — like he was clearing out some cobwebs — and leaned over the front seat. “Wow!” he said. “This girl is in heat!” He voiced this loudly, enthusiastically, not even trying to be discreet. It was like he was sharing with me, man-to-man, a visceral, savory pleasure. The thing is, though, people don’t go into heat; animals do. I felt like punching him in the face. “Hey, no... none of that... no.” Sheila was speaking softly to Tall Guy, attempting to parry and redirect his roving hands, to stage-manage the risky and dangerous play she was creating. The newly builr University Inn appeared on the right. “Whaddaya want me to do at Graceys?” I asked. “Left, right, straight — what?” " Short Guy grabbed for Sheila’s arm, and, as if in a trance, she slid off Tall Guy and back onto the middle seat. “Tell the cabbie where t’go,” he ordered. “Where are we?” she said dreamily. “We’re cornin’ up on Graceys Store,” I replied. “W hat now?” “Go left,” she said. “We need to get to Winooski.” Her attentions boomeranged back to Short Guy while I sped up and pulled into the big parking lot in front of Graceys. I threw the car into park, coming to a slightly jarring stop. “No,” I said, while in my mind I quickly calibrated my tone and approach. Sheila may HMH

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other fares.” I was speaking with a working-guy-to-workingguy spin, as in, gimme-a-breakguys-and-let-me-do-my-job. “You can get out here, or I’ll drive you back downtown. You tell me.” “Don’t stress, man,” Tall Guy said. “We’ll figure this out.” He turned and shook Sheila’s shoulder. “Hey, where does your friend live? Is it near here, or not?” “Yeah, darlin’, I toldya. She lives right up the street. You wanna visit? I got some things I want to show you.” “Sheila, that’s a big 1 0-4,” Tall Guy said, and he reached for his wallet. “Hey, Roland — let up for a minute, will ya? Get the chick off you. Let me pay the man. We’re getting off here.” To my great relief, they all left the taxi. I knew, from much experience, this situation could easily have gone south. As I drove out of the lot, I looked back and saw Sheila spinning in place, pirouetting in the pale, white streetlight. In that snap shot, she looked lovely — graceful and composed. Who knows who she really is? I wondered. Maybe she’s a ballerina, forever lost on some stage. Yeah, that’s it, I thought. For some reason, this fantasy gave me comfort as I glided back down the hill into town. She’s one of those souls Willie Nelson sang about — an angel flying too close to the ground.

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SEVEN DAYS

page 9a

P e r s o n a ls T o u c h B y Greg Goetsch ,

a . k .a .

A “ love doctor’s” prescription for perfect pairings

“ Or . P ersonals ”

ow can 30 precisely chosen words make the differ ence between a life of hellish loneliness and scoring a soul mate? Some people read personal ads look ing for humorous infotainment, others hope it will lead to the long-awaited LTR. W hether it’s a long-term rela tionship, sex or friendship you are seeking, be advised that every word counts. Dr. Personals is here to help. For three decades, as a practitioner of Personalogy, I’ve been helping clients choose just the right words to attract the person of their dreams, while minimizing responses from those who’d more likely appear in their nightmares. Some have made it all the way to the altar — conve niently, I’m a justice of the peace, too. And I’ve seen some spectacular failures, like the man who, after a decade of placing ads to no avail, finally shaved his head and became a celibate Buddhist monk. I know what you’re thinking — what qualifies Dr. Personals to help total strangers banish loneliness and connect them, through a few words on newsprint, with their mystery love? Personal experience, of course. When I read my first ad at age 18,1 was amused and excited by the possibility of finding the girlfriend I had yet to meet in the flesh. Not finding an ad to which I wanted to respond, I promptly placed my own. I’ll share it with you now, then pick the miserable thing apart: GENTLE MAN, SWM, earthy, spiritual, creative, loves people, animals, nature, gardening, mountains and travel. Seeking NSSF to share hiking, biking, deep con versations, strolling through autumn leaves, play and watching sunsets. W ith this first ad, I didn’t yet know the Greatest Commandment of personal ad formulation: Instead of trying to find the right person, be the right person. I’m not saying “Don’t look.” I am saying get going with your life, do what you love, press the start button on your dream realization machinery. Too many people place a personal ad to find someone to make them happy -— or, in my case, to end the humiliation of being the only virgin in an all-male dorm. My ad was a personal lie — a sorry manifestation of my neediness. I wasn’t actually partaking in most of the activities listed. Did I garden? No, unless shower mold counts. Did I do anything creative? No, unless squander ing hundreds of parental dollars at poker is creative. I watched one sunset during my first two years of college — to capture it for photography class. I wasn’t really doing anything, but I told myself I would if I had a girl friend to do things with. Then I’d be happy, fulfilled and confident to pursue my dream — being an oil man and governor of Texas. My first suggestion for clients is: Tell the truth. If you “love” making snow angels in your undies, but only did it once 30 years ago, don’t mention it. If you channel poet

page

vxt;

febriiary 7,2001

ry from dead masters and you write it down, say so. If your only writing is 4000 pages of journal whining, for get it. Next, be specific. Unless you want every reader who understands English to contact you, aim for what you really want. My ad said I loved people, animals and nature. W ho doesn’t like people and animals, at least some people and some animals? And is there really anyone who doesn’t like nature, at least in small doses? My loves were loves of the masses. I also neglected to state my age, or an age range for respondents. If you don’t narrow it down, prepare to receive replies from people born during nearly any decade of the 20 th century. Other common examples of too-general words or phrases used in personals include: movies, outdoors, music, eating out, shopping, sports, travel, reading, etc. More specific is better: sail boating, Phish head, Asian cuisine, shopping at big-box stores, exploring Vermont on a Harley. I’ve come up with several broad categories you may wish to consider in composing your ad, in no particular

order. Some categories will be more important in your life, so you’ll want to emphasize them. This info is equal ly pertinent if you’re considering responding to an ad.

Life Philosophies The first category may be one of the most important, yet one of the hardest to articulate. My dog calls it “slerpp” — sniff, lick, eat, run, pee and poop. I call it life-view, or philosophy of life. In my first personal ad, the words spiritual, creative and deep conversations fell under this rubric. But I could have chosen better words. “Spiritual” is ambiguous — a thousand readers could have a thousand interpretations. As for “creative,” who isn’t in one way or another? And most people want deep conversations with their significant other — at least once a decade. The type and content of deep conversation might speak to your life-view. “I like deep Catholic theo logical conversation” — now that says something! Heres a list of key words that I believe provide a glimpse into the writer’s philosophy of life:

Take the bluehouse weekly web ,wiz

would love living in cabin on Walden Pond vegetarian forgive me God, for I have sinned into progressive politics passion for dance essential love all extreme sports social justice Ayn Rand’s my hero commerce Luddite raising my children is my biggest joy making money is my only God free love is my only God not into $, new cars, past lives, couch-potatoism take-Vermont-forward attitude I believe in hard work and making it on one’s own reborn superman, 1925 model, on ginkgo and Viagra seeks superwoman for sponta neous sex and companion ship.

yW W nm What software developer and IBM subsidiary shares its name with an exotic flower, a yoga posture, and an English sports car?

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Note that some of the above concern political leanings and values. Important. W hat will your match think about abor tion, taxes, welfare, who really won the election, environmental protection or gun control? Imagine you’re on your first date and he starts ranting about those evil civil-union supporters — but you’re a Progressive and your best friends are gay. Unless both people have no interest in any thing political, having different political persuasions can be a major turn off. Before I move on, just a quick mention of other words and phrases that are too vague: open-minded must have values meaningful conversation enjoys what life has to offer peaceful must be considerate successful attractive sense of humor honesty nice secure fun

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“Fun” to my neighbor Bill is shooting stray cats with his BB gun. “Fun” to my neighbor Fran is taking schoolchildren to the Animal Rescue Sanctuary.

Spirituality “Spirituality,” which includes religion, values and morality, def initely overlaps with life philoso phies. If your spirituality, religion or moral views — or those of a potential mate — aren’t impor tant to you, don’t mention it in your ad. I would, though. Using this category to your advantage will weed out a lot of folks you wouldn’t want to be caught dead • with. - ; * ' *' ■.-/A * ' The following may be too, open to interpretation: family values q,: conscious must have morals religious

: Un

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Body In my ad I mentioned hiking and biking. These words suggested that I was healthy — a complete fabrication. Personal ad writers often describe the physical activities they enjoy or participate in, but they may also want to communicate important factoids about health, sexu ality, body image, etc. Probably the most ubiquitous health indicator is NS — non smoking. This is important. Most non-smokers would rather kiss a cormorant’s hiney than a smoker, let alone be near them puffing away. O n the other hand, one useful “cleverism” is “non-tobacco user,” which usually means smoking grass is OK. If you don’t do alcohol or drugs and don’t want to be with a user, say it now and forego future grief. I’m not hot about “casual user” or “occasional drinker.” Occasional to you might be a couple of Long Trails per month. To some, it could mean seven or eight pints per day. Sexuality? Not much needs to be said here. Virtually everyone whose heart still beats likes and wants sex. If, however, you definitely don’t want sex until your string of dates grows into a LTR, then elim inate misunderstanding with the old stand-by — “friends first.” If you’re open to sex — and want a truckload of responses — try “does anyone like sex as much as I do?” Body image. People like hinting that they don’t look like a model in Cosmopolitan. If you think you’re overweight, you may cringe at alluding to it and assume nobody will contact you. Frankly, many people will write you off the list, but my experience suggests there are men and women out there who can look beyond physical appearance. Hey, they may be carrying around a few extra pounds themselves. Save yourself some grief now with “Rubenesque,” “full-figured,” “not model-thin” or “attractive tattoos over 90 percent of body, but not skinny.”

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Shared Interests W hen it comes to activities and interests, ambiguity will get you nowhere. Mention activities or hobbies that convey what you really like. My ad listed gardening, hiking, biking, travel, strolling through autumn leaves and watching sunsets. All together, these words did paint a picture of me — just not a very unique or intriguing one. One reward of Personalogy is helping clients come up with more precise and revealing words to describe their interests. Here’s a sam pling of imprecise words and more specific choices: sports walking writing playing music dancing creativity

NASCAR racing mall-walking (hey, he’s 87!) passionate poet harmonies around campfire contra dancing accidental potter, deliberate painter raise pit bulls and love cock fights rock climbing making hearty German meals so much junk food, so little time

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Personality The category of “personality” includes communication and relationships. The first rule is almost too obvious, but some people need to hear it: Never let on you’re needy or lonely. If you are, determine how much. If you’re truly desperate, hold off on the personals until you enjoy your self more than week-old pizza. Many people placing personals are experiencing some degree of neediness or loneliness. This is normal and assumed by readers, but if you actually expect a response, avoid “I don’t like me,” “I’m so lonely” or “Won’t you be my only friend?” Expressing your anger is another surefire way to keep people away in droves. Personal-ad venom usually begins with “N o ...” followed by anything from bigots, bullies and bureaucrats to dirty old men, ex-cons or hairy backs. Most “No” statements come from women, many of whom, no doubt, are describing their last boyfriend. Still, bitter finger-pointing will keep everyone away. A better way to meet “nice guy” instead of “jerk guy” is to confi

dently exude your resplendent good qualities. This will frighten away most of the “undesirables” who, believe me, suffer from low self-esteem. And remember, when you place an ad and someone responds, you control whether they get your number, address or a date. Here are more dead-end descriptions in the “personal ity” category: reliable, responsible yummy yearning yuppie intelligent , fresh and inviting easy-going mentally healthy the colors of my universe are few, but at least I know how to wear them patient sense of humor romantic people person happy motivated classy assertive I draw crowds wherever I go sensuous thoughtful, caring well-adjusted sex-toy technician

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t r y “ d o e s a n y o n M il^ sex as much as I do?”.

Portray yourself more accurately with phrases like these: •m• nurturing physician seeks... messy life, kind heart, sloppy kisses and clean mind relaxed and content with minor bumps along my path laugh and cry with ease Life’s a love’n oven, I be fresh-baked bread it’s a rare day without silly play curious and imaginative people-watcher visionary and lackadaisical Vermont mayor seeks new voters must love children and actively sharing your feelings

In the end, saying you’re emotionally secure, happy or funny is for you to know and them to experience. Often people say what they wish they were. W ho doesn’t want to be funny, secure or happy? The reader can’t really know what you mean, or whether to believe you, until you meet face to face. There it is: Personalogy. It’s not complicated — just be aware of your intentions in placing or responding to an ad, and be specific when you do. Some of my clients have come to the conclusion that they’re not yet ready to find a partner; they have some personal work to do first. Some just go to the Humane Society and adopt. I’ve found, however, that most people who listen to their intuition and carefully consider each word can have suc cess through the personals. Luckily, no one responded to my first ad, as I was depressed, scarcely attempting to enjoy life, and craving the happiness of a female savior. Now, I’ve utterly given up and found brothers in robes to love me and take care of me. I leave for India tomorrow with begging bowl in hand. Just kidding. Actually, I met the first love of my life through the personals five years ago. I hope my little dis course will help you, too. ®

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forward plans can spiral into a blur of competing emotions, family values, even menu choic es. Maybe that explains the appeal of the nation’s top movie for the last two weekends, The Wedding Planner.

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have a lot to do with it. But for anyone who’s gone through a wedding or is contemplating it, watching someone else negotiate all the details and disasters has got to be worth the price of admission. Given Vermont’s status as a popular tourist destination, it’s no surprise there are lots of Green M ountain wedding-relat ed businesses, including plan ners. T hat makes for a daunting number of options in the phone book. Figuring out which of these businesses to work with can be more challenging than finding the right spouse. Not to worry: The Internet is here. A growing number o f Web sites -are specifically designed to pro vide brides- and grooms-to-be with Vermont wedding info, from the ring to the honey moon. The oldest of these resources is the Vermont Wedding & Event Connection, a consortium of wedding-related businesses that gathered together under one cyber-roof in 1994. “About seven years ago, my husband and I did a wedding with two other companies,” says co-founder Sandi St. Pierre of St. Pierre Catering Services. “We enjoyed the professionalism and their philosophy of w ork... We knew we would definitely

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refer them to other clients.” After exchanging business cards, St. Pierre and her hus band Roy had a brainstorm: How about setting up a Web site to allow the businesses to advertise and work together? It was launched with five business es and now features 14 wed ding-related companies, includ ing Top-Hat Entertainment, Ethan Allen Coachworks, Nan Patrick, Chappell’s Florist and MS Toilet Services. Each business creates its own section at www.vtevent.com, and some are more extensive than others. St. Pierre Catering Services and a few other busi nesses use the site to answer client questions; for others it is simply display advertising. Wedding planner Claire Beecher of Shelburne has been advertising on the site for three years and is pleased with the results. “It has been so good for me,” she says. “I am a small business, and you don’t have a large advertising budget and you don’t have office people to share ideas with. It’s a think-tank for me.” Beecher adds that her col leagues share information, such as where to advertise, as well as referrals. Vermont’s recently enacted civil-union law has created a new opportunity for wedding planners. “When my daughter got engaged,” says Michele Goldman, “I was thinking about

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How to plan her wedding. W ith the new law passed up in Vermont, I thought it would be nice to make it easier for people out-of-state to get a civil union.” Goldman’s site, at the stillevolving www.cuplanner.com, offers a brief history of the civilunion battle, information on the law itself, the necessary forms and permits, and suggests CUfriendly businesses and justices of the peace. Goldman aims to help civilunion couples save time by screening out businesses that are uncomfortable with same-sex ceremonies. “I’ve contactedsome people who haven’t been

receptive,” she acknowledges, “and I can understand that. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion... We know that time is of the essence, and we’d like to be a one-stop-shopping site for civil-union wedding resources.” Though she’s still sorting out technical details, Goldman is planning to do a Webcast on her site with Burlington radio station 95-XXX, which will be broadcasting a civil-union cere mony live on Valentine’s Day. O ther online Vermont wed ding resources include: • WeddingEvents.com (www.weddingevents.com) — The main competitor of vtevent.com, this site links to

WeddingsVermont (www.weddingsvermont.com), which lists many wedding-related business es and a limited number of reviews to help people make selections. The site also features miscellaneous information about getting hitched in Vermont, the weather and tourism options. • Enchanted Weddings of Vermont (www.EnchantedWedding.com) — This is the site of a “full-service wedding planning company.” Visitors can learn about the services provid ed by the company, link to some local wedding professionals and related businesses, and read tips for planning a wedding. • The Vermont Wedding Resource Guide (www.theweddingbook.com) —- This is an advertising site for a 320-page book aimed at helping couples plan their Vermont wedding. The book is also available by mail order or on Amazon.com. Planning a successful wed ding, like any other complex and emotionally charged event, is a lot of work. Don’t wait until a garbage bin is rumbling down the street towards you — no Matthew McConaugheys may be around to knock you out of the way. It’s a lot easier, and safer, to go online and find the local professionals who can real ly make your wedding click. ®

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SEVEN

DAYS

feb ru a ry 7 , 2 0 0 1

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a Tiffany setting my w ay, his head no \ lo n g e r s e e m e d s o ^ Republican, his clothes so Eastern bloc. bliss when it comes to death-do-you-part. But I never really understood the Big W hite Wedding. I get no kick from champagne, pouffy white gowns, rice or bird seed, netted Jordan almonds, calligraphy, flower children or the strange discovery of “personal colors.” And I could never bring myself- to force perfectly good female friends into the unlovely fit of peach satin, empire waist or capped sleeve. I’ve searched my cold, narrow soul and nothing in it sparks at spending thousands of dollars — even someone else’s — on a stiff, formal party dictated by arcane man ners no one ordinarily uses or even fully understands. I like love and I like parties, but I haven’t quite understood the, um, marriage of the two. However, I do clearly see one unifying factor for women who share my uncanny gift for personal avarice: The Ring. Gimme-gimme. Underscoring my lack of character, I probably would n’t have consented to the short embarrassment of a civil ceremony — thrown my twenties away like an itchy garter belt and had two sons — if it weren’t for the ring. My ex-husband was a diamond dealer then, which is like being a cocaine dealer except you have to pay taxes. Same little paper packets, same reverence for the white stuff inside, same gun at the ready. He and a friend, an Israeli gem dealer with whom he lunched each week, could call to mind Diamonds They Had Known with the same misty sweetness that other

men reserve for past lovers or the ’67 World Series. And when he flashed a 3 .8-carat diamond in a Tiffany setting my way, his head no longer seemed so bald, his politics so Republican, his clothes so Eastern bloc. I did the worst thing I could possibly do to him: I took it, and fast. I couldn’t put mascara on for weeks without poking myself in the eye, so drawn was I to the sight of the ring’s brilliant glare in the bathroom mirror. Looked nice on the steering wheel, too, my left hand inexorably drifting the car to the right as I swerved through town blinded by the three C ’s of cut, clarity and carat. Tra la, it had happened — I was finally an adult woman with no eye makeup and a huge diamond, driving badly. But that husband and I couldn’t govern well, and ours soon became a Fourth World country with little culture and a terrible economy. I eventually staged a coup and fled to the veritable Bahamas of waiting tables, cleaning houses and being less furiously angry all the time. I spent months trying to sell the ring, which had, ironically and correctly, become a bad-luck totem of all the compressed coal of resentment, mistakes and waste our stewardship had wrought. Never need to marry again, I chanted, pocketing the cash. Marriage is a covenant for producing children. Done the baby thing, got the kids. If it ain’t for kids, marriage is for dummies. Dusting, bussing, vacuuming, doing windows, slinging risotto, all the while ha-ha-haing it over my singular wisdom.

And then the unexpected happened: I fell in love — the real, actual, grown-up, not-for-diamonds way. Needless to say, I craftily kicked my own karma into place by falling for someone who was already married. Following the circular logic of the karmic wheel, his mar riage certificate holds the seal of Ireland, therefore requir ing some awkward Catholic maneuvering and lots more thousands of dollars to dissolve. Unless I’m sorely mistak en, that is not going to happen, and his marital country will continue, albeit without a king, all the way over in that other land of my ancestors. I’m OK about this, really. It matters not. Done the baby thing, right? But damn, I look so good in white. I love Jordan almonds. Periwinkle blue is my personal color. Bird seed, c’est mot. O ur new country is a lush, grand place of thickly green hills, brilliant strange plants, a mellifluous language, a healthy GNP, sweet, curious customs and a vibrant cul ture. But its borders remain unsealed. Does it matter? Sometimes. I still don’t understand why exactly. It’s as if we were married: The children call him their stepfather; the neigh bors know he’s in charge of the garbage cans; and he is in possession of the awful knowledge that I might occasion ally make a delicate rasping noise which those of rougher character call “snoring.” Add this to love, monogamy, shared bank accounts, Continued on page 20a

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Print Zoe Papas perfects a personal approach to wedding invites

By Gail R osenberg hen Amy Pfeiffer was planning her wedding with Christian Carey last September, she wanted invi tations that were a little out of the ordinary. Appropriately, the graphic designer for Ben & Jerry’s was looking for something whimsical and fun. Burlington

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artist Zoe Papas had just the right thing. That is, made the right thing. Papas is actually a business analyst who happens to create hand-printed invitations on the side — her small but growing enterprise is called Zoe Ink. She also makes personalized sta tionery, note cards, party and other announcements. But wed ding invitations are her specialty,

and they’re all about love, care and customization. When taking on a job she’s likely to ask the clients questions such as: “What do you love to do alone?” “W hat do you enjoy doing together?” “How do you want others to see you?” “W hat are the places that are special, to you?” or “W hat is your favorite season?” For Pfeiffer and Carey, Papas found historical engravings of

three French pastry cakes, which Papas picks out handmade she printed onto the invitations papers, designs prototypes for — green ink on creamy Italian clients to choose from and hand-paper. Then she hand-colored the prints every single invitation on cakes on each invitation with an old platen press. Sometimes gold and silver tints and a print she hand-colors them, and some ed line: “If life is a banquet, then times creates and folds envelopes love is dessert.” A decorative -— all based on what she’s learned band of handmade-in-Vermont • about a couple’s passions and Langdell paper added textural predilections. interest: removing it was like lift “I love being in my studio,” ing the lid off a bakery box. Papas enthuses. “I’m there every

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free minute on the weekends and in evenings during a job. I love the texture of hand-printing and the smell of the inks. The cou ples I speak to are excited and happy.” Her fantasy, Papas reveals, is to give up her day job and “head right to the studio every morning.” Its a bold ambition, since anyone with a computer and a modicum of typefaces can pro duce customized printed pieces these days. But Papas isn’t wor ried. “People who use their designs with computer publish ing programs aren’t the ones who will contact me,” she says. “The ones who do know that letterpress printing is unique. The way the ink goes into the paper pro vides a three-dimensional, highquality appearance, and a feel that’s unlike any other printed piece.” At a per-invitation cost of $8 to $15, Papas’ customers also are willing and able to pay for “unique.” Chances are more of them will be calling when they see her invitation featured in the current issue of Modern Bride. Papas’ first paid printing job was serendipitous. In 1995 she sat next to a woman on a cross country flight. Papas was carry ing some sample hand-printed cards, which she showed to her fellow traveler. A year later the woman called to ask her to design an invitation for her daughter’s bat mitzvah. Papas asked for copies of Hebrew let ters denoting coming-of-age ritu als. But her client was more interested in Asian culture.

Papas recalls worrying, “How am I ever going to design a bat mitzvah invitation with an Asian theme?” Her solution was to print the daughter’s Chinese birth symbol on square, thick, cream-colored paper accented with Buddhist prayer paper and wrapped in a vellum hand-cut envelope. Letterpress printing — once the only way to print — is now considered an art form. Papas began developing her artistic tal ents about a decade ago, creating handmade collage books. She moved to Vermont from San Francisco in 1993 to join her partner, Mark McGinley. She didn’t have other friends here yet, and working from home didn’t offer many opportunities to meet new people. One day Papas was having her collage books drilled at Reprographics when Burlington graphic designer Anthony Sini stopped to admire her work. He introduced her to graphic artists Craig Dicken and Debra Kaiser of KaiserDicken, who hired her on the spot to design a collage cover for a brochure. This assignment inspired Papas to sign up for a letterpress printing class at Shelburne Museum. In fact, she signed up again and again, hoping that one day enough people would regis ter to make it worthwhile for the museum to actually hold the class. Peter Wells, then in charge of Working Exhibits at the muse um’s turn-of-the-century print Continued on page 23a

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good friends to call for help. Despite her warnings, though, the size and weight of the press —- 1800 pounds — didn’t regis ter until they unsuccessfully tried to unload it. They wound up taking it apart and setting it in a shed, where it sat in pieces for another year. Last year Dicken took Papas to a printing-press auction in Barre. “It was enormous,” she recalls. “There were 20 to 30 guys. I was the only female in the group.” She and Dicken spotted a Chandler & Price Platen Press from the 1930s, with a motor that had replaced the original foot treadle. “Let’s start her up and see what she does,” Dicken suggested. Papas loved the press, but was dismayed when the auction bid ding started at $1000. No one responded. Then the auctioneer said he’d start the bidding at $ 100 . Papas raised her hand and bid $50. “Would you at least start at $ 100, lady?” the auction eer pleaded. “I can get more than that for scrap.” Papas obeyed, and got the press. It took seven people and $500 to move. Then she had to renovate the shed to use as a printing studio. “Good thing I got the press cheap,” she quips. It’s the Chandler & Price that Papas uses for most of her invita tions. She can print 200 pieces in 10 minutes; it takes an hour to print the same number on the tabletop hand presses.

Continued from page 22a shop, noticed that Papas and one other woman kept coming back. He requested permission to hold the class for these two deter mined wannabe printers. A “Once I took the class, I never left,” says Papas. “I cleaned and sorted type. I worked on projects with Peter. He taught me everything. He is absolutely won derful.” Wells, who now practices and teaches blacksmithing in Calais and consults for various local museums, encouraged Papas to purchase a 6 x 9-inch Kelsey press. Weighing about 50 pounds, the Kelsey is a table-top press that was used by hobbyists in the 1950s. Wells then found her an 8 x 10-inch Kelsey, which allowed her to produce larger products. She set up a workshop in her basement, and her passion for printing grew accordingly. In 1998 Papas acquired a 19 x 27-inch Vandercook Proof Press — the king of proof presses for newspapers before offset printing came along. Somehow this press, originally from New York City, had wound up in the basement of a bakery in the Northeast Kingdom. Using a John Deere tractor, the woman who owned it hefted it onto a flatbed and delivered it to Papas in Burlington. By this time, Papas had 10

Recently, Wells spent two days at Papas’ studio reassem bling the Vandercook, which will allow her to print book covers and posters up to 19 x 27 inches. Last summer, at a printing studio in Martha’s Vineyard, Papas fell in love with a Heidelberg Windmill Press, which she calls “the Mercedes of printing presses” — it flips out 60 to 100 prints a minute. Now she’s fantasizing about getting the Heidelberg and producing her own line of wedding and gift cards. In fact, Papas would like to save more hand-presses from the scrap yard because they’re “so amazing,” she says. Meanwhile, she’ll continue to develop products that reflect her clients’ interests. An old-fash ioned wedding in Sundance, Utah? A sepia-toned image of a mountain. The union of a garden designer and chef? Images of flowers and pears. A groom who is a woodworker and a bride in a purple dress? A tree in silver ink mounted on purple paper. Generally Papas uses clip art, often from the 1920s and ’30s, as a starting point for her designs. She might enlarge a detail and move images around for the placement she wants. She also works with computer fonts instead of setting type, which takes a long time. Papas does a quality check of every printed piece that comes off the press, and arranges the pieces in hand-printed envelopes,

Som etim es she hand-col them , and som etim es cre ates and folds envelope all based on wh d about a couple’s it assions and predilections! which may be folded in custom shapes. The most nerve-wracking part of the process? Relinquish ing her creations to the U.S. Post Office. “I love being in control of all the steps — designing, buying the papers, doing the production, printing,” she says. “Do you

think this means I’m a control freak?” The answer from any couple who sees her hand in every part of their wedding — or civil union — invitation has got to be a satisfied “I do!” ®

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of this particular X-game has been rooted in hardline feminism which sternly insists all porn is bad because it exploits women. So what to think, then, of Femme Productions, headed by former porn film star “Candida Royale,” which makes adult movies specifically for women because she thinks the industry doesn’t represent them well? W hat to make of the fact that her videos are snatched up as soon as Imago gets them in? Or of the fact that 25 per cent — and counting — of the store’s cus tomers are now women? Karen Adam understands perfectly. She’s seen plenty of tentative women, and men, like me in the year or so she’s worked at Imago. She’s seen all kinds, in fact, come through the door of the Colchester store. Giggling bridesmaids, college students, adventurous couples, moms and dads, politicians, even clergy. Couples, singles, straight, gay and “other.” Blue- and white-collar. All ages, from 18 — which you have to be to get in, and they’re strict about it — to septuagenari ans. In other words, just about anyone with a pulse. And most of them are a little

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uncomfortable their first time, Adam reas sures. “It has a lot to do with the way soci ety looks at things like that,” she says. “It’s a general human reaction.” Once customers get over their initial embarrassment, though, many of them turn into regulars, according to Imago owner Gerard Rainville, who asserts that his store “meets the needs of consumers” better than the other adult stores in Vermont. He suggests that’s not just a result of the products, but of a pleasant appearance, friendliness, confidentiality and respect. Adam “doesn’t talk down” to customers, he says. “She treats them as adults, says what things are for and doesn’t make a joke about it.” Ditto for the other five employees, all of whom are male. One thing Imago customers don’t have to worry about is naughty behavior in dark corners; there aren’t any dark cor ners. Every nook and cranny is as well-lit and clean as a library. In fact, the carpet ing, curtains, plants and down-to-earth staff make Imago welcoming, almost homey. Almost. Adam says even her moth er, concerned about her daughter’s job in a sex-oriented store, was mollified by the look of the place. O f course, she may not have seen the nudie pictures behind the fish tank, or thumbed through the “Trans She-Male” video selection. There’s no denying that the inventory at Imago is far more titillating than, say, your typical produce section — unless you have a special relationship with vegetables. In my case, the function of certain items eluded me and — between modesty and not wanting to reveal the magnitude of my ignorance — I didn’t necessarily ask. When I did, though, it was... educational. An expanding cock ring? A nd that does what? Oh, I see. Other products, of course,

were amply self-explanatory — and I’d like to know who’s getting those hefty, 14inch dildos. Horses? Some items seemed juvenile, the stuff of bachelor-party ribaldry — inflatable dolls, for instance. But when I asked Adam who is likely to buy the life-size plastic faux femmes with anatomically cor rect orifices, she patiently gave me the “all

packing-cellulite. Can’t say I got much o f a tingle from the thought of nipple or clitoral “jewelry.” And bondage? None for me, thanks, even if the handcuffs are soft and fuzzy. On that subject, and to my relief, I did not spot any really gnarly S&M items — the little leatherette mini-whips and skimpy dominatrix gear seemed to say

“ Th ere’s a Bush, a Dick and a Colin in the W hite House” but “ they’ re looking to alter free speech, and having this type of industry is free sp ee ch.” rd Rainville walks of life” reply — male and female. H m m m ... Other products, like penis pumps, seemed medically questionable. There were also ordinary massage oils and lubricants with saucy names like “Hot Hooters Warming Booby Oil.” The rows and rows of what my father once called “girlie” mags did, in fact, seem to me exploitative -— though it’s a safe bet those models make more money than journalists. At the very least, the concupis cent babes with Barbie doll bods and amplified breasts do their utmost to undermine the self-esteem of real-gals-

“Let’s pretend,” not “Let me lacerate your flesh.” If Imago caters to individuals with more arcane or perverse fetishes, it’s not evident. W hat the store does cater to is some thing so primal it’s shared by every living being on the planet: sexuality. W hat we all do with it, of course, is a function of tem perament, upbringing, culture and other mitigating factors. “It’s not something we invented,” notes Adam. “It’s been around a long time, and it’s very different in dif ferent countries.” Physically, there are only so many ways

to insert Tab A into Slot B — or C or D. Otherwise the act varies only in position and with the exponential possibilities of group sex. So it occurs to me that some people are easily bored with the standard equipment and need to embellish, to assist what comes naturally. This may be one reason for the popularity o f sex toys, props and enhancements; indeed, Rainville con firms his biggest Sellers are “novelty items.” Another explanation, it must be noted, is that people can have a sense of playfulness about sex — the antithesis of the lie-back-and-think-of-England approach that restrained our Anglo fore mothers. You can also have, or acquire, a healthy willingness to expand the ways to give, and receive, pleasure. Adam notes that when men ask how they can get their wives “interested in this stuff,” she always asks, “Did you talk to her?” “W hat people need to do in that particular area is talk to each other,” she advises sagely. “They need to know what their partner is, and is not, comfortable with and respect those boundaries.” Watching people do the nasty on screen is a different deal than using sexual helpers, though, I think. Sure, an engag ingly romantic movie can put me in the mood — but not for watching someone else get laid. W hen I finally noticed the video playing on an overhead screen at Imago, I thought the robotic licking, sucking and humping made sex look pretty silly, the fake passion as icky as the desperate grop ing of a drunk at last call. But other peo ple — lots of other, mostly male, people — clearly disagree. Porn, after all, is big, big business. Continued on page 26a

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ven Rainville, who reveals Imago’s annual revenue to be a half-million bucks, expresses awe at the industry he got into just four years ago. “I’ve only | been to three trade shows, one in Atlantic City and two in Las Vegas,” he says. “It’s dumbfounding to see the money being made.” k- Growing up on a farm in North Hero, he was as conflicted about sex as the next guy. “People in Vermont [were] raised to believe sex is only for procreation,” Rainville says. “When I first bought the store it was an embarrassment. I was raised French-Catholic — then I had to order things like ‘Pocket Pussy’... Now I see business, I don’t see sex.” Rainville learned a thing or two about business from a previous job in manage ment for Mobil Oil. One of them was, “the three items that always sell regardless of the economy are cigarettes, alcohol and smut.” He admits the stuff in his store is “not my thing,” but he leaves customer relations, and product knowledge, up to his sales staff. “They know all the stuff and are into it,” he says. When he bought Imago from a previ ous owner, Rainville says it was “disgust ing, physically dirty.” It was also a lot smaller. Located on the ground floor of a building with three apartments overhead, not far from Exit 17 on 1-89, the place was a cramped 25 x 25 feet. Rainville cleaned and brightened it up, and when tenants of an adjacent apartment moved out about a year ago, he expanded Imago into that space. Now the store is a roomy 1700 square feet. Thousands of videos

neatly line the shelves in the original section; the other merch, including novelty items arid prominently displayed HIV/AIDS home-testing kits, fills the front. It’s like a hardware store for sex. Rainville says it’s not possible to grow any more in the current location, and that’s OK. “We’re maxed out, but this is. big enough” for the current demand.- He?" notes that customers come — often — " from as far as Montpelier and New York Statei ftPeople feel corrifortable here,” he says. “It’s secluded.”

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14 -in c h dildos. Horses? Apparently no one, especially neigh boring business owners, felt “comfortable” with the store’s previous location: It was expelled from Taft Corners in Williston not long after it opened more than 17 years ago. Rainville would consider open ing another store elsewhere, but he’s wait ing, he says, to see what the new adminis tration in Washington will bring. “There’s a Bush, a Dick and a Colin in the White House,” he quips, chuckling at the irony, but “they’re looking to alter free speech,

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and having this type of industry is free speech.” He notes that some of his store’s suppliers are “nervous about it.” Even in the comparatively bawdy cli mate of the Clinton years, though, Rainville experienced the slings and arrows of conservative values. A Burlington car detailer refused to apply the store’s image —7 a relatively p.c. photo of a non-interacting man and woman — to the doors of his van. The owner cited “a conflict of interest.’ local carpet cleaner refused to come to the store. A Chamber of Commerce-approved Web site wouldn’t accept Imago in its business directory. When Rainville informed a local newspa per of his difficulties getting services, the editor declined to report it. “A lot of businesses won’t do business witlrm e because of what the store carries,” Rainville laments. “But there’s a difference between me and my store. People in pub lic service should be in public service, and not discriminate because they don’t like your beliefs. People in the U.S.,” he adds, “are very prudish and hypocritical.” It’s no secret, of course, that the sex industry contains, and attracts, more than its share of sleazebags. On the day of our interview, Gerard Rainville handily defies that stereotype. Though understandably wary of a journalist’s motivation, he’s got a pleasant and gentle demeanor. Trim and casually dressed in a Gold’s Gym sweat shirt and jeans, the boyish 39-year-old seems like the kind of guy who would stop to pull your car out of a snowbank. He interrupts our conversation to do just that, in fact, when he hears spinning tires in the parking lot. Rainville’s office is neat as a pin. The walls are decorated not with “dirty” pics but the type of motivational posters found

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page 26a

SEVEN DAYS

february 7, 2001

in health clubs. The only clue to his per sonal life is a small statuette sitting on the shelf indicating that Rainville was “Mr. Vermont” in 1986. The award, he explains, was for a combination of “body building, communication and presenta tion,” and required a year of Miss America-type behavior such as “represent ing” at parades. Gradually, Rainville reveals more: that around the same period, he eliminated alcohol and drugs from his life, and came out of the closet as a gay man. These details are less surprising, though, than his litany of other experiences: He was a Chittenden County traffic cop for three and a half years before leav ing because “it wasn’t me.” He went back to school — three of them: O ’Brien’s School of Cosmetology, and Champlain and Community colleges. “I’m still work ing on a psychology degree,” he explains. He was a first-line cook on a gay cruise ship for two seasons — which unfortu nately left him with a permanent case of dizzying “sea legs” — and also cooked at Loretta’s restaurant in Essex. He lived in Hawaii for six months — three of which were spent helping the Red Cross in the aftermath of a hurricane. He dreams about starting a daily newspaper, but a more plausible pursuit might be the gay and les bian “welcome center” he thinks Vermont needs. “I don’t like to be bored,” Rainville understates. “I don’t mind hard work; I was raised on a farm.” If he was discomfited by Imago when he first took it over, that’s history now. Fanny Slappers? Ho-hum. Love Swings? Whatever. Huge, scary-looking, cherry-red Supercocks?'To each his — or her — own. And that, I’d say, is “adult” thinking. ®

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Anne Stuart is Vermont’s goddess of bodice-rippers B y A nne Galloway illy comes to the office to confront her father. Instead she encounters his new part ner, Coltrane — a tall, dark, handsome man who is deter mined to undermine her father’s real-estate empire. Jilly lobs insults at him in self-defense. Coltrane shamelessly manipulates her fear.

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This plot unfolds around a Hollywood mansion Jilly is attempting to restore that is occupied by the ghosts of two lovers. Add to this an intricate family drama rife with jealousy, drugs and sibling strife, and there are enough subplots in this romance to spin off several other novels. . But even with these distrac^ tions, by page 40 it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that the two sparring, star-crossed lovers will bed long before the last chapter of Anne Stuart’s latest novel, Shadows at Sunset. As you might have guessed, this book is a full-bodied romance with characters who revel in becoming partially clothed. In due time, the heroine and the villain experience, if not the transforming properties of true love, something nearly as cathartic. For Vermont author Anne Stuart, also known as Kris Ohlrogge — or as Sister Krissie the Impeccably Demure to her fans — this is the latest in a steady stream of romance novels. Shadows at Sunset was published by Doubleday, but over the course of her 26-year career, Stuart has also been published by Ballantine, Dell, Penguin, Avon and, of course, Harlequin. From her home in Greensboro, Ohlrogge churns out an average of three books a year. Since 1972, she’s written more than 60 novels. And thanks to her faithful following, they sell. Her last book, Lady Fortune, sold over 100,000 copies, and some of her Harlequin novels have sold up to 200,000 copies. As Ohlrogge has become a mainstay in the industry, she’s been able to court several pub lishers at a time, sweetening the deals as she goes.

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“I’ve written for almost every publishing house there is,” she says. “It’s nice, you can play them off each other. Then they treat you better and give you more money ” In spite of her success, it’s hard to imagine a more unlikely romantic heroine than Ohlrogge. She is nervy, unpretentious and — despite her steamy heroines -— remarkably unsensual. She doesn’t seem to care much about her personal appearance: She wears Coke-bottle-lens glasses and no makeup, and doesn’t fuss with her wispy blonde hair. Ohlrogge makes no attempt to hide who she is — a happily married, 52-year-old mother of two teenagers. But to read her books, you’d think she’d worked or traveled in the grittiest corners of the world, vicariously collecting characters along the way: predatory bosses, IRA assassins, murderers, embez zlers and cult leaders. Conversely, Ohlrogge leads a sheltered life. She lives in a recently built, spacious, if nonde script, two-story house not far from her grandparents’ camp, where she holed up to write her first romance novel almost 30 years ago. When she isn’t writing, Ohlrogge hangs out with her children, or pursues some pro-

ductive hobby, like sewing. Except for brief stints at the Rockefeller Foundation in New York City, and at the Vermont State Library, Ohlrogge has worked out of her home for most of her adult life. Her char acters, plots, trysts and settings all exist in her imagination. She claims not to do much back ground work, relying instead on her “memory bank.” She has a way of recalling obscure details, and what she doesn’t know, she imagines. “I’m a very fast typ ist, a very fast thinker, and I usually don’t have to do a whole lot of research, because I know all sorts.of things,” Ohlrogge asserts. These “things” come from books and magazine articles, which she devours con tinuously. “Books start from all different places,” Ohlrogge says. “I had a book that started from a news article in Time magazine about all these old grandmothers found dead in Paris. I wrote a whole book based on that — I just sort of went with the idea.” Writing seems to be in Ohlrogge’s blood; it was the only thing she ever wanted to do. The daughter of two editors, she sold

an article at age 7 to Jack and Jill magazine. In the fifth grade, she wrote her first novel. As her father descended into alcoholism, and untimely death, she retreated further into the world of books. “I’d go to bed telling myself stories as a way to escape from the stresses of my childhood,” Ohlrogge recalls. “I had a shrink once who said how great it was that I’d been able to take my coping mechanism from child hood and make a living out of it.”

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She read everything in the genre, went to a lot of rock concerts, and then decided to write her own romances. She moved to her grandparents’ summer camp and cranked out her first novel on a manual typewriter. She was 23. It took Ohlrogge a year to sell Barrets Hill, and another year to see it through to publication. She made $2500. But in 1972, she notes, “that carried me through most of a year.” After that, Ohlrogge wrote a book a year until she bought a computer in the early ’80s, then she doubled her output. But the most revolutionary change had more to do with social mores than technology. For years she kept her romance plots alive with mystery-laden elements, the occasional dead body or bop on the head. It wasn’t until her 12 th novel that Ohlrogge’s editors allowed her to do more than pussyfoot around her characters’ pent-up lust. Finally, she could cut to the chase and happily indulge in less-censored sex scenes. “I thought straight romances were sort of boring, but when they had mystery or sex that made them more interesting*” Ohlrogge says. “Two people falling in love is pretty tedious. Conflict is a major issue. It’s good to have internal as well as external conflict. The external would be the mystery and the

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internal would be whatever is y keeping the two lovers apart.” These conflicts include painfully close-to-home topics, such as alcoholism. Ohlrogge feels obligated to “put herself on the line,” and to emotionally challenge her readers. “I tend to go toward darkness,” she says, noting both her father and brother died as a result of drinking. “I think its stuff I’m working out. I have a very happy life, I have a wonderful husband, wonderful kids, I make a cornfortable amount of money, I get to write for a living. I mean, it doesn’t get much better than that, and yet there’s a lot of darkness around my childhood from losing my brother and my father, and my nephew died young. So I sort of work out issues in my books, and it gives me balance.” Ohlrogge’s rationale is that having a fulfilled “real” life grounds her so that she is free to lead her characters into chaos, Still, she can’t stand to let pieces of plot lay in disarray. She picks them up, dusts them off and puts them back together again — even if it involves conventions that are anathema to many writers. Happy endings, for example, But Ohlrogge doesn’t let her characters, like Jilly and Coltrane, off too easily. O r get off too easily. “They have to go through all this shit and then survive,” she explains, “because that’s what life is like.” ®

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there anything more pathetthan a guy showing up th a heart-shaped box of colates and a fistful of flown Valentine’s Day? Sure, it’s than nothing at all, but train wreck written all it. Sadly* the generic, no ught V-Day gift is instinctive guys. In fact, recent archeocal studies have uncovered e drawings featuring the florist. O f course, men led hair for sex back then, so I easy to see how the male [uirements for a happy lentine’s Day evolved. Women want more than sex they need more. The way pn require 12 hours of ESPN - 'veek, women require the paro ling that tells them they’re ^ ecial to us in more ways than ^ 11sleep on the wet spot.” For ,0nien, romance is not about I . ft. and it’s certainly about *

more than Valentine’s Day. Women want massages and long walks on the beach. Men, on the other hand, equate romance to an hour of oral sex, preferably with a plate of nachos served to them immediately afterwards. Romance vs. sex is the Hatfields vs. McCoys of gender — minus, of course, the gun play and moonshine. (Though for some guys, guns and moon shine would be a great gift.) Valentine’s Day just brings the issue to the fore like a neon sign. While the woman’s sign might say “Romance me with a bubble bath,” the guy’s says “Were you talking to me? So, , are we gonna do it or not?” Not to trivialize the desires of either gender, but this is a fundamental difference. Once men can break the “It’s all about the nookie” barrier, they will get more nookie. Sound confusing? It is, a little, but it’s worth it, trust me. Guys have long suffered in

the romance department, and we could blame it at least in part on poor role models, such as ones in the Oval Office. It’s not like guys don’t care about romance, it’s just some thing we’re born without, like ovaries or gills. And we’re not taught it like algebra. Only after exhaustive trial and error, and many frustrating failures, do we begin to see the light. That’s why, ladies, you get flowers and candy for a decade before your guy learns that you’d like some thing less cliche — or, worse, forgets the occasion all together. So, Valentine’s Day, the romance Super Bowl, is upon us, and women are hoping, pray ing their guys will turn into Don Juan — if just for one night. If you give them Don Johnson, Don Drysdale or even Juan Gonzalez, you are going to be one sad, lonely puppy. It’s not hard to become a

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february 7, 2001

SEVEN DAYS

page 31a

The “V” Spot

C o n t i n u e d f rom page 3 1 a romantic sap. First remember, as IVe told you, that romance does not equal sex — woman aren’t that shallow. We need to go a little deeper. So consider this a romance road map, if you will, a guide to what she wants, and how you can figure it out. .

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right? No, I don’t mean you should flank her rear troops. Send her a bouquet of daisies for no damn good reason. Leave a note under her windshield wiper to tell her what she means to you. Surprise her at work and take her to lunch. The best gift is the one she’s not expecting. A gourmet dinner^ prepared by you and served by candlelight when she gets home from work, will connect like a passion suck er punch. Make Any Day Are you one of those cheap bastards who refuses to buy a card on Valentine’s Day, saying, “I don’t need no stinking Hallmark holiday to tell my gal I love her.” Well, in a meathead sort of way, you’re right. Valen tine’s Day is generic, commercial and highly manipulated. And you shouldn’t wait to tell her once every 365 days you love her as you pass her in the kitchen on the way to the john. Generate your own days to tell her that she’s special. A card on June 20 or a single flower on September 12 will mean more to her than if you parked a two-ton Rose Parade float in her drive way on February 14 and pro claimed your love. It’s not. about quantity, it’s about gesture. On the other hand, it’s not just a thought that counts, either; few women will actually object to an expensive

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PRO TEST D ID H A PPEN , REALLY Thanks for being the only newspaper to report on the Bush inauguration protest in Burlington, albeit in the context of an article about Robin Lloyd [“Hyper Activist,” Jan. 24], Two days after the demonstration, I sent a letter to The Burlington Free Press. They declined to print it. It said: O n January 20 over 100 peo ple gathered outside the Federal Building in Burlington to protest the Bush inauguration. They marched in front of the building for a while, carrying signs and chanting slogans, then headed down Church Street while bystanders shouted in agreement. This never took place, howev er, as far as most Vermonters are concerned, because the Free Press did not report it. Reading the paper the next day, two questions occurred to me: 1) Is it the position o f the Free Press that a large group of people gathering in Burlington to protest an arguably rigged elec tion does not merit even a single paragraph? 2) If the Free Press cannot be depended upon to cover events that are taking place virtually on their doorstep, what possible credibility can they have in painting a picture o f the rest of the world? — David Symons Burlington L e tte rs P o lic y : SEVEN DAYS w a n ts y o u r rants

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The “V” Spot Continued from page 35a Practice, Practice Every day o f the week and year is bursting w ith o p p o rtu nities to be rom antic w ithout becoming a slobbering kissyface in public. Even a m odem woman, w ho insists on sharing the bills, secretly likes it if you open her car door or help her into her jacket. A nd not every kiss has to involve tongues. Reach out and squeeze her hand at random times w ithout saying a word. Flash her a look and a w ink across a crowded room — even if it’s a crowd o f the guys around a ball game on TV. Take it from me: T here’s a little D on Juan in everyone, and I don’t mean that as a new nickname for your “little D on Juan.” Besides, you m ust have done som ething right to attract your gal in the first place.

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SEVEN DAYS

february 7, 2001

tress. Medicine, evidently, for people who are planning to be sick and would rather medicate preemptively than simply eat properly. There are the infomercials for exercise machines — every thing from hom e gyms, tread mills and Nordic Traks to an apparently endless variety of abbuilding contraptions engi neered by leading scientists like Suzanne Somers and C huck Norris. There are ads for national fitness centers and diet books. And then there’s Richard Simmons, a booming, bizarro T V industry unto himself. In what other country could a guy this out of control, this gigglingly unhinged and, let’s not forget, plum p strike it rich as an icon o f self-control? And, o f course, there are the more traditional, non-sweatingto-the-oldies-based weight-loss programs like Optifast, NutriSystem and Jenny Craig. From Halloween through Thanksgiving, right up to the m om ent Dick Clark drops that ball in Times Square, the air waves are stuffed with ads for holiday candies, hams, turkeys and desserts. Then, suddenly, they make way for an onslaught of diet-system ads bringing us the news that we’ve been pathetic gluttons for the past few m onths and the time has come to shape up. N o wonder the economy has been so strong. T h in k o f the billions generated each year just through this orchestrated see saw of bingeing and abstinence. W hat I find more interesting, though, are the subtle ways in which our increasingly porky culture has recalibrated feelings about fat, and how those shifts have come to be exploited in the pursuit and maintenance of celebrity. In the old days, as you may have heard, one actually had to accomplish som ething to earn fame. T hink Charles Lindbergh, Babe Ruth, Pablo Picasso, Ernest Hemingway. T he bar has been lowered steadily over the last half-century, however. Today, the simple fact that a person has controlled their weight can make the difference between being famous and

being forgotten. Take the case o f Ricki Lake. She built a daytime talk dynasty on the fact that she’d once been obese and funny-looking but managed to diet her way down to twentysomething perkiness. Sure, the form at for her show played a part in her success, but clearly, she never would have spent a m inute in front o f those cameras if she hadn’t shed those pounds. T he problem with basing your fame on your waistline: W hat happens if you re-chub? In Lake’s case, she’s adopted the philosophy, “If you can’t beat ’em, join the cast of a show about a lardbucket.” She now costars on CBS’ “T he King of Queens” as stocky Doug Heffernen’s stocky younger sis ter. She’s on the blubber border, though. A few more pounds and America may not find her so funny. Just ask Delta Burke about that. Remember w hat happened to her? T he former beauty queen packed on a few too many pounds and got heat from both her network and the pro ducers o f her hit show, “Designing W om en.” She blamed the usual suspects — a bad metabolism, a problem w ith diet pills, etc — but disap peared frorh the spotlight any way. Until recently, when she reappeared at a drastically reduced weight in the new sit com, “D A G .” But w ho’s got time to slink off and quietly drop a hundred pounds in today’s fast-paced, media-driven world? T he exam ples o f Lake and Burke seem quaint next to that o f overin flated chanteuse Carnie Wilson, who decided to make her reduc tion in size itself a return to the limelight, rather than merely a prelude to it, by having her stomach surgery simulcast on the Internet. Lights, camera, rib retractors — now that's enter tainment! Today W ilson is relatively svelte and newly married. It’s odd, though, that whenever I see her interviewed on TV, everyone just says, “O h, doesn’t she look great!” N o one ever says, “M y God, she couldn’t stop eating and the only way she could lose weight was to

have a doctor sew her stomach shut, and she thought that was som ething millions o f people would w ant to watch? She makes her father look like Ozzie Nelson.” Take Richard H atch. Please. The smarmy “Survivor” champ always seems to be described on television in terms o f his cun ning, intellect and sense o f con trol. Every now and then some one m entions the fact that he used to weigh almost 400 pounds, but no one ever says, “So, Rich, where was all that control when you were closing in on 400 pounds? Were you hoping to make your T V debut as one o f those naked fat guys Jerry Springer has to forklift out of their house?” Have we become so superfi cial that we actually look at someone like H atch, congratu late him for being in better shape, and never question the character and thought processes responsible for his putting on hundreds o f pounds in the first place? Well, yes. Simply losing weight has come to be viewed as an accom plishm ent ranking with the noblest works o f hum ankind — an ipso facto, no questions asked, goes-withoutsaying good thing, m eriting the attention and approval o f all. Just ask O prah. She never tires o f taking credit for taking off a pound or two, telling the world how she did it, how everyone else should do it, too, walking around for a year or so like the high priestess o f mental health and political correctness before blim ping out and begin ning the cycle all over again. Have you seen those Subway spots featuring former load Jared Fogel? In the “before” shot the guy weighs an easy 350 pounds. In the “after” photo he’s slimmed down, we’re told, through a com bination o f taking walks and eating lots o f low-fat subm arine sandwiches. Have we become so gullible that we actually believe subm a rine sandwiches are an im por tant part o f an effective weightloss program? Well, yes. Apparently viewers are just so dum bstruck by the fact that the kid dropped so m uch weight, the wackiness o f the ad’s premise doesn’t register. T he campaign has been a huge suc cess, so to speak. I realize Fogel isn’t .techni

cally a celebrity — not yet, any way — but I just find the idea o f a grinder-based diet plan so hum orous I couldn’t resist m en tioning it. There’s no shortage, though, o f famous and infa mous types who’ve attem pted to parlay reduced poundage into increased public acceptance. There’s Fergie, the overeating royal who found true happiness in the States shilling for Weight Watchers. There’s Monica Lewinsky. She likewise dropped a few, got work as a weight-loss plan spokesperson, but then,

to get the Nobel Prize for medi cine, believe me. I’m not sure science is quite there ,yet. If I’ve forgotten anyone, you can hear all about them on “Entertainm ent Tonight,” in the show’s ongoing “W here Are They Now?” series, which spe cializes in celebrity triumphs over tubbiness. It’s such a pre dom inant theme the series real ly ought to be called “How M uch D o They Weigh Now?” You see my point. The bar is so low you can stub your toe on it. New and ludicrous paths to

nda Tripp

Rather than improving our r dTetary habits or gettin regular exercise, we’ve come up with ways to integrate flab into the matrix of fame and fortune. unfortunately, put more than a few back on. T h at poor girl has never been able to tell what she should and shouldn’t put in her m outh. There’s Broadway diva Jennifer Holiday, who tipped the scales at 380 pounds when she starred in the hit musical, Dream Girls. As it turned out, there weren’t a lot of parts for nearly-400-pound crooners after that one closed, so she made a bee-line for the O.R. Presto, 280 surgically removed pounds later, she’s a television “heavy weight” with a role on “Ally McBeal.” There’s Meat Loaf, who figured maybe no one would notice he hasn’t had a hit since the Carter administration if he turned into a slim jim. And, o f course, there’s the new and improved Linda Tripp. T hat didn’t exactly turn out to be money well spent, now did it? The sur geon who makes her over into America’s sweetheart is going

celebrity are continually becom ing accepted within our culture. People achieve notoriety by running around nude on reality shows, taking part in heinous crimes, getting their penises cut off, marrying semi-comatose billionaires or, in the case of Elizabeth Taylor, simply remaining above ground. Now we’ve added one more to the ridiculous list: losing weight. The time has Come, don’t you think, to ask ourselves where all this is headed? W hat’s next? Worldwide fame for m an aging to get out o f bed in the morning? Public acclaim for not going through the yellow light? Pulitzer Prizes for punctuality? How likely are our children to aim for true greatness tomorrow if we teach them today to place so much value on relatively triv ial traits and achievements? The dawn of a new millennium seems as good a time as any to pose that question. Along with this one: W hy hasn’t A1 Roker felt the same compulsion to drop poundage felt by almost every other super sized hum an in show biz? America’s cuddliest weatherman — an alien life form? Could it be? Do you think? ®

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februaty 7, 2001

SEVEN DAYS

page 37a

OPEN MIKE, Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. NC.

SIRSY (acoustic pop duo), Nightspot

WEDNESDAY

Outback, 6:30 p.m. NC.

SHAUNA ANTONIUC W/CHRIS PETER MAN & JOE CAPPS (jazz standards), Leunig's, 7:30 p.m. NC.

GUY COLASACCO (singer-songwriter), Jake’s, 6:30 p.m. NC. LAST NIGHT’S JOY (Irish), Ri Ra Irish Pub, 7 p.m. NC. KARAOKE KAPERS (host Bob Bolyard), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. NC. CELTIC SESSIONS, Radio Bean, 9 p.m. NC. BLUES WITHOUT BLAME (jam), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. DELBACK & LEAVITT (acoustic rock), Nectar’s, 8 p.m. NC. MASTERMINDS, MR. LIF (hip-hop), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $10. DJS SPARKS, RHINO & HI ROLLA (hiphop/reggae), Rasputin’s, 10 p.m. $6. 18+ VINYL ONE INTERNATIONAL (DJs DMaximum, Chancellor, Ninjahforce; reggae/dancehall), Millennium Nightclub-Burlington, 9 p.m. NC/$7. 18+ before 11 p.m.

•k»*

PLEASED TO MEAT YOU The legendary Austin

OPEN MIKE W/JIMMY JAMS, Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 10 p.m. NC.

band The Meat Puppets began making an unholy punk-psycho-blues-coun

KARAOKE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. DAN PARKS & THE BLAME (rock),

try racket two decades ago, and it’s comforting to know they haven’t given

Champion’s, 9 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE,

up. Still touring in support of last year’s Golden Lies CD, the Pups will nip

Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

JOSH SILBER (singer-songwriter), Good

the socks off Vermont fans this Sunday at Higher Ground. Fellow Texans

Times Cafe, 7:30 p.m. $2. LADIES NIGHT KARAOKE, City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. NC. BLUES JAM, Gallagher’s, 9 p.m. NC.

The Damnations, and ex-Burlington songster Neil Cleary, open.

GEM DANDY A band named for a semi-precious stone? Nope. Topaz is actually the first name of the bandleader of New York’s most out-there psychedelic jazz-funk band. Saxophonist Topaz McGarrigle earned dance-band status with his weekly “Groove Church” at Manhattan’s Bell Cafe, and now he’s taking that sonic sermon on the road. The seven-piece Topaz hits Higher Ground this Thursday, and Toadstool NC = NO COVER. AA = ALL AGES.

Harry’s in Killington Friday.

THURSDAY PICTURE THIS (jazz), Wine Works, 6 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Jake’s, 6:30 p.m. NC. NORTH COUNTRY FAIR (Celtic/Appalachian), Upper Deck Pub, 6:30 p.m. NC.

ELLEN POWELL W/MARK VAN GULDEN (jazz), Leunig’s, 7:30 p.m. NC.

GLEN SCHWEITZER (rock), Valencia, 9 p.m. NC.

DANIEL HALEY (acoustic guitar), Pacific Rim, 9 p.m. NC.

OPEN MIKE W/D. DAVIS, Cactus Cafe, 9 p.m. NC.

DAN PARKS & THE BLAME (rock), Steer & Stein, 9:30 p.m. NC. SIRIUS (groove rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. JAMES HARVEY (jazz), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. DJ FROSTEE, 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4. CARNIVAL ALL-STARS (DJ and live hiphop/African drumming/funk), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $5. MAD MOUNTAIN SCRAMBLERS (bluegrass), Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 10 p.m. NC. LADIES NIGHT W/DJ ROBBIE J. (Top 40), Millennium NightclubBurlington, 9 p.m. Women NC/$7; men $2/7. 18+ before 11 p.m. TOP HAT DJ, Rasputin’s, 10 p.m. NC. DJ JOEY K. & JZEE (hip-hop/r&b), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. REGGAE NIGHT (DJ), J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. TOPAZ, KUDU (psychedelic jazz/funk), Higher Ground, 9 pm. $5. 18+ GIVEN GROOVE (groove rock), Champion’s, 9 p.m. NC. BUDDAH, 0X0 & KENNY (acoustic rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE W/T-BONE, Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

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KARAOKE, Sami’s Harmony Pub, 8 p.m. NC. HIGH FALLS (rock), Ground Zero, 9 p.m. $4/6. RON LEVY & THE WILD KINGDOM (funk/rock), Monopole, 10 p.m. NC. TNT KARAOKE, Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. NC.

INTERNATIONAL FUNK JAM (freestyle), Compost Art Ctr., 9 p.m. $6. DJ PARTY, Gallagher’s, 9 p.m. NC. OLD JAWBONE (reggae/ska), Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $3-5. AL DIAZ (acoustic), Nightspot Outback, 6:30 p.m. NC.

9 FRIDAY CLYDE STATS TRIO (jazz), Upper Deck Pub at the Windjammer, 5:30 p.m. NC. GREGORY DOUGLASS (singer-songwriter), Borders, 7 p.m. NC. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Rasputin’s, 5 p.m. NC, followed by TOP HAT DJ, 9 p.m. NC.

CRAIG ANDERSON, JOHN GIBBONS & KAREN MCFEETERS (singersongwriters), Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. $6. BLUEGRASS SESSION, Radio Bean, 9 p.m. NC.

UNCLE JIM & THE TWINS (acoustic), Sweetwaters, 9 p.m. NC. DJ LITTLE MARTIN, 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4. DANCETERIA (’80s-’90s dance), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. $2.

RON LEVY & THE WILD KINGDOM (funk/rock), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. DJ NIGHT, Ri R£ Irish Pub, 10:30 p.m. NC.

LION’S DEN HIFI SOUND SYSTEM (reggae DJs Yosef & Ras Jah I. Red), Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 10 p.m. NC. PERRY NUNN (acoustic guitar), Ruben James, 6 p.m., followed by TOP HAT DJ, 10 p.m. NC. SIDESHOW BOB (classic rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. FUSION (hip-hop/Top 40/house; DJs Robbie J., Toxic), Millennium NightclubBurlington, 9 p.m. $3/10. 18+ before 11 p.m. KARAOKE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

JO MO FO (funk/r&b), Vermont

weekly

18+

SETH YACOVONE BLUES BAND,

Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

Radisson Hotel, 8 p.m. $8/6. 18+ ADAMS & EVE (rock), Henry’s Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. THE MACHINE (Pink Floyd trib ute), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $15. 18+ SAND BLIZZARD (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $2. JALAPENO BROS, (rock), Champion’s Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. NC. JOHN CASSEL (jazz piano), Tavern at the Inn at Essex, 7 p.m. NC. ' EMPTY POCKETS (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p .m . NC. LYLE KING (folk), Village Cup, 8 p.m. NC. LIVE JAZZ, Diamond Jim’s Grille, 7:30 p.m. NC. TOM BISSON (singer-songwriter), Kept Writer, 7 p.m. NC. TAPESTRY (groove rock), Monopole, 10 p.m. NC.

Brownstone Tavern, 10 p.m. $3/5. AL DIAZ (acoustic), Nightspot Outback, 6:30 p.m. NC, fol lowed by SIRSY (pop-rock), 9:30 p.m. $5-10. DJ CHEWBACCA (hip-hop), Toadstool Harry’s, 9 p.m. NC.

EMPTY POCKETS (rock),

JENNI JOHNSON & FRIENDS (blues-jazz), Jake’s, 7:30 p.m. NC. CYLINDER (rock), Franny O’s, 9 p.m. NC.

STONE MOUNTAIN QUARTER (rock), City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. SHINE (modern rock), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $3. EAMES BROS. TRIO (jazz/blues), Villa Tragara, 6:30 p.m. $5. ADIOS PANTALONES (party rock), Gallagher’s, 9 p.m. $5. ADAM ROSENBERG (acoustic), Charlie B’s, 8:30 p.m. NC. FELIX BROWN (dance), Rusty Nail, 9 p.m. $5. LAMBSBREAD (reggae), Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $3-5. GIVEN GROOVE (groove rock), Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. $5. FULL SWING (jazz), Mr. Pickwick’s, 8 p.m. NC. DAVE KELLER BAND (blues), Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $4. GLENDON ENGALLS (jazz), J.P. Morgan’s, 7 p.m. NC. DYSFUNKSHUN (hip-hop crossover), Charlie O's, 9 p.m. NC. MIKE DEVER (acoustic folk), Three Mountain Lodge, 6 p.m. NC. FUNKY MIRACLE (New Orleans funk), Compost Art Ctr., 9 p.m. $ 6.

PC THE SPINDOCTOR (house/Top 40/techno), Millennium Nightclub-Barre, 9 p.m. $3/10.

listings

EVENING

10 SATURDAY INCREMENTAL BALANCE (funky jazz), Radio Bean, 9 p.m. NC. 3RD ANNUAL GROUNDHOG BALL (Queen City Contras; workshops start 2 p.m.), Edmunds Middle School, dance 8 p.m. $8/12. DJ LITTLE MARTIN, 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4.

MIGHTY LOONS (reggae/funk/rock), Valencia, 9 p.m. NC. ORDINARY WAY (alt-rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. RETRONOME (DJ; dance pop), Club Metronome,. 10 p.m. $2. STARLINE RHYTHM BOYS (honkytonk boogie), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. DJS TIM DIAZ & RUGGER (hiphop/r&b), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. FLASHBACK (’80s DJ), Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC.

THE CLUBB MIXX W/DJS IRIE & GUESTS (hip-hop/house), Millennium NightclubBurlington, 9 p.m. $3/10. 18+ before 11 p.m. SIRIUS (funk-groove), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 p.m. $8/6. 18+

VALENTINE’S LATIN DANCE W/GILBERTO RIVERA Y SU ORQUESTA RUMBANAMA, DJ HEC TOR COBEO (w/free dance lessons), Radisson Hotel, 9 p.m. $14. GUY COLASACCO (singer-song writer), Jake’s, 6:30 p.m. NC. ADAMS & EVE (rock), Henry’s Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC.

SARAH HARMER, DENNIS BREN NAN (singer-songwriters), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $8/10. 18+

SAND BLIZZARD (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $2. JALAPENO BROS, (rock), Champion's Tavern, 9 p.m. NC.

Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Sami’s Harmony Pub, 8 p.m. NC. REBECCA PADULA (folk-rock),«• Village Cup, 8 p.m. NC. BACK ROADS (country; line danc ing), Cobbweb, 8:30 p.m. $7/12. DJ KING, Ground Zero, 10 p.m. NC. OPIUS (jazz/groove), Monopole, 10 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/FRANK, Franny O’s, 9 p.m. NC.

MARDI GRAS PARTY W/THE NATU RALS (rock/r&b), Old Lantern, 8 p.m. $17.50.

DJ DANCE PARTY (Top-40/hiphop/r&b), City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. THE IMPOSTERS (rock), Otter Creek Tavern, 9:30 p.m. NC. CHERYL WHEELER (singer-song writer), After Dark Music Series, United Methodist Church, 7 p.m. $16/18. LUI COLLINS (singer-songwriter), Unitarian Universalist Church, Rutland, 7:30 p.m. $8/10. ROYAL SCAM (rock), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $3.

COLIN MCCAFFREY W/JASON HILBOURNE (folk/jazz/bluegrass), Capitol Grounds, 7:30 p.m. NC. D’MOJA (African rhythm/dance), Compost Art Ctr., 9 p.m. $6. SPINN CITY W/DJ ROBBIE J. (hiphop/Top 40/dance), Millennium Nightclub-Barre, 9 p.m. $3/10. 18+ ADIOS PANTALONES (party rock), Gallagher's, 9 p.m. $5. EKIS (funky soul), Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $4. BRYAN NOAKER (acoustic), Charlie B’s, 8:30 p.m. NC. JOEY LEONE (blues-rock), Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $3-5. GIVEN GROOVE (groove rock), Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. $5. FELIX BROWN (dance), Rusty Nail, 9 p.m. $5. FULL SWING (jazz), Mr. Pickwick’s, 8 p.m. NC. MIDNIGHT LIGHTNING (rock), Blue Tooth, 9:30 p.m. $2. SURF MONKEYS (eclectic acoustic), Nightspot Outback, 6:30 p.m. NC, followed by SIRSY (pop-rock), 9:30 p.m. $5-

10 .

continued on page 29

www.sevendaysvt.com

HIGHER GROUND PRESENTS

BAD HORSEY (rock), Backstage

Pub & Brewery, 9 p.m. NC.

COMEDY ZONE (stand-up),

WI T H

where to go Adams Apple Cafe, Portland & Main streets, Morrisville, 888-4737. After Dark Music Series, Town Hall Theater, 53 Merchants Row, or United Methodist Church, 47 N. Pleasant St., Middlebury, 388-0216. Backstage Pub, 60 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 878-5494. Blue Tooth, Access Rd., Warren, 583-2656. Boony's, Rt. 236, Franklin, 933-4569. Borders Books & Music, 29 Church St., Burlington, 865-27It. Brownstone Tavern, 2 Center St Alley, Rutland, 775-8098. Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 864-5888. Cactus Cafe, 1Lawson Ln., Burl., 862-6900. Cactus Pete’s, 7 Fayette Rd., S. Burlington, 863-1138. Cambridge Coffeehouse, Windridge Bakery, Jeffersonville, 644-2233. Capitol City Grange Hail, Northfield Rd., Montpelier, 744-6163. Capitol Grounds, 45 State St., Montpelier, 223-7800. Champion’s, 32 Main St., Winooski, 655-4705. Charlie B’s, Stoweflake Resort, 1746 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-7355. Charlie O's, 70 Main St., Montpelier, 223-6820. Chow! Bella, 28 N. Main St., St. Albans, 524-1405. City Limits, 14 Greene St. Vergennes, 877-6919. Club Metronome, 188 Main St., Burlington, 8654563. Cobbweb, Sandybirch Rd., Georgia, 527-7000. Compost Art Center, 39 Main St., Hardwick, 472-9613. Daily Bread, Bridge St., Richmond, 434-3148. Diamond Jim's Grille, Highgate Comm. Shpg. Ctr., St Albans, 524-9280. Edgewater Pub, 340 Malletts Bay Ave., Colchester, 8654214. Finnigan's Pub, 205 College St, Burlington, 864-8209. Flynn Center/FlynnSpace, 153 Main St., Burlington, 863-5966. Franny O's 733 Oueen City Pk. Rd., Burlington, 863-2909. Gallagher’s, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496-8800. Good Times Cafe, Hinesburg Village, Rt. 116, 482-4444. Ground Zero, 3 Durkee St, Plattsburgh, N.Y., 518-566-6969. GStop, 38 Main St., St. Albans, 524-7777. Henry's, Holiday Inn, 1068 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 863-6361. Higher Ground, 1Main St, Winooski, 654-8888. Jake's, 1233 Shelburne Rd., S. Burlington, 658-2251. James Moore Tavern, Bolton Valley Ski Area, 434-3444. J.P. Morgan's at Capitol Plaza, 100 Main St., Montpelier, 223-5252. J.P.'s Pub, 139 Main St., Burlington, 658-6389. The Kept Writer, 5 Lake St., SL Albans, 527-6242. Leunig’s, 115 Church SL, Burlington, 863-3759. Mad Mountain Tavern, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496-2562. Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 167 Main St., Burlington, 658-6776. Matterhorn, 4969 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-8198. Millennium Nightclub-Barre, 230 N. Main SL, Barre, 476-3590. Millennium Nightclub-Burlington, 165 Church SL, Burlington, 660-2088. Monopole, 7 Protection Ave., Plattsburgh, N.Y., 518-563-2222. Mountain Roadhouse, 1677 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-2800. Music Box, 147 Creek Rd., Craftsbury Village, 586-7533. Nectar's, 188 Main SL, Burlington, 6584771. The Nightspot Outback, Killington Rd., Killington, 422-9885. Old Lantern, Greenbush Rd., Charlotte, 425-2120. 135 Pearl St., Burlington, 863-2343. Otter Creek Tavern, 215 Main SL, Vergennes, 877-3667. Pacific Rim, 111 St. Paul SL, Burlington, 651-3000. Pickle Barrel, Killington Rd., Killington, 422-3035. Radio Bean, 8 N. Winooski, Ave., Burlington, 660-9346. Radisson Hotel, 60 Battery SL, Burlington, 658-6500. Rasputin’s, 163 Church St., Burlington, 864-9324. Red Square, 136 Church SL, Burlington, 859-8909. Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 865-3144. Ripton Community Coffee House, Rt. 125, 388-9782. Ri Ra the Irish Pub, 123 Church St., Burlington, 860-9401. RubenJames, 159 Main SL, Burlington, 864-0744. Rusty Nail, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-6245. Sami’s Harmony Pub, 216 Rt. 7, Milton, 893-7267. The Shed Restaurant & Brewery, Mountain Rd., 2534364. Sh-Na-Na's, 101 Main St., Burlington, 865-2596. Signal to Noise HQ, 416 Pine St. (behind Speeder & Earl's), Burlington, 951-1140. Starksboro Community Coffee House, Village Meeting House, Rt. 116, Starksboro, 434-4254. Steer & Stein Pub, 147 N. Winooski Ave., 862-7449. Stoweflake, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-7355. Sweetwaters, 118 Church St., Burlington, 864-9800. The Tavern at the I :n at Essex, EssexJet., 878-1100. Thirsty Turtle, 1 S. Main St., Waterbury, 244-5223. Toadstool Harry’s, Rt. 4, Killington, 422-5019. Trackside Tavern, 18 Malletts Bay Ave., Winooski, 655-9542. 242 Main, Burlington, 862-2244. Upper Deck Pub at the Windjammer, 1076 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 8626585. Valencia, Pearl St. & S. Winooski, Ave., Burlington, 658-8978. Vermont Pub & Brewery, 144 College, Burlington, 865-0500. The Village Cup, 30 Rt. 15, Jericho, 899-1730. Villa Tragara, Rt. 100, Waterbury Ctr., 244-5288. Wine Works, 133 St. Paul SL, Burlington, 951-9463.

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february 7, 2001

SEVEN DAYS

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»'

TOM CHAPIN, COMMON GROUND (Gadfly, CD) — Gadfly Records, an independent Burlington record label master minded by Mitch Cantor, is well known for its eclectic out put, and for being just plain adventurous. Gadfly has just released a wild mix of new titles, including a brand-new album by folksinger Tom Chapin, just in time for his fami ly concert at the Flynn Center this Sunday. Chapin could be called a singer-songwriter, acoustic musician or unplugged artist, but he earns the old-fashioned “folksinger” tag because of the variety of his material, his social commentary songs — original or cover — and his affection for optimistic anthems. His music brings to mind performers for whom the term “folksinger” was coined — Pete Seeger, Malvina Reynolds, Josh White, Woody Guthrie. On his new recording, Common Ground, Chapin has included three tunes: the title track, co-penned with ace bluesman Scott Ainslie; “The Singer is the Song,” written with frequent stagemates Michael Mark and John McCutcheon; and “Roll on Your Way,” the last song on the disc and a made-to-order show-closer. He also offers four social commentary songs — Bob Marley’s “Orphan Son,” about tourist trade in the Yucatan; “My Electronic Vacation,” a spoof about techno-dependency; “Uncle Wally’s Tale,” an ecology lecture; and “Martha & Oprah,” a

O NE M A IN ST. • W IN O O S K I • INFO 6 5 4 -8 8 8 8 DOORS 8 P M • SHO W 9 P M unless noted ALL SHO W S 18+ W ITH PO SITIVE 1.0. unless noted THURSDAY. FEBRU ARY 8 • S 5 AT DOOR VELOUR RECO RDS SHO W CASE

TOPAZ KUDU

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 9 THE JOHNNY W IN T ER CONCERT HAS BEEN POSTPONED. STAY TU NED FOR A M A K E U P DATE. FRIDAY, FEBRU ARY 9 • S IS ADVANCE S IS DAY OF SHOW 106.7 W IZN & S A M A D A M S W ELC O M E

T H E M A C H IN E SATURDAY, FEBRU ARY 10 • SB AD VANCE S10 DAY OF SHO W CABAR ET SEATING 104.7 THE PO INT & M AG IC HAT W ELC O M E

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M EA TPU PPETS A TH E DAM NATIONSTX NEIL C LEA R Y

W EDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 14 • $15 ADVANCE S17 DAY OF SHOW 90.1 W RUV W ELCO M ES A SPECIAL VALENTINE'S DAY CONCERT

BLACK i -M J B A B A , A -D O C THURSDAY, FEBRU ARY 15 • S 6 AT DOOR • ALL AGESI

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very funny song about “quail quesadillas and low self esteem.” Add to this a couple of love songs, and a 20-year-old classic penned by Chapins late — and more famous — brother Harry. The aptly named Common Grounds a full plate of variety, humor, affection and solid songwriting. In a career that’s stretched over decades, Chapin has released seven albums for adults and eight for kids and par ents, including two that were Grammy nominees. His show this week will be a showcase for what Chapin does best: pleasing an audience of all ages. The other new releases from Gadfly this month are typi cally titillating: Kilroy Was Here, an electrified singer-song writer release by Larry Kirwan, lead vocalist with the Irish folk-rock band Black 47; Ukranian Pajama Party, the sixth Gadfly album by electrified cello pioneer Gideon Freudmann, and containing a real stew of styles; From the Land of Kalevala, by the amazing Karelian Folk Music Ensemble, a trio of multi-instrumentalists from northwest ern Russia whose music ranges from Celtic-like two-steps to mandolin waltzes; and last but definitely not least, Both Ears and the Tail, the long-lost live recording of a 1966 con cert by English folk legends Martin Carthy and Dave Swarbrick, just as both young men were reaching their musical prime, and just before each helped revolutionize the sound of Steeleye Span and Fairport Convention, respectively. Now, that’s eclectic. — Robert Resnik DRUMS & TUBA, VINYL KILLER (Righteous Babe Records, CD) — Drums & Tuba are a three-piece outfit outta Austin, Texas, playing fresh, jammy but focused instrumen tal music, which ranges from Meters-ish, jazzy New Orleans funk to trancy atmospherics to almost techno-sounding grooves. Tony Nozero and Brian Wolff are drums and tuba, respectively (also percussion and electronics, and trumpet and trombone, respectively). Neal McKeeby is guitars. Seems Ani DiFranco liked these guys enough to co-produce their new disc, Vinyl Killer, along with her drummer, ' Andrew “Goat Boy” Gilchrist, and release it on her own Righteous Babe label. “What’s up with the tuba?” you might be thinking. It’s really not such a big stretch in sound and mission from bass guitar to tuba. Imagine a warmer, fuzzier, more fluid tone and some unique capabilities and you get how Wolff

Rhythm & News will return next week, honest.

RUSTICOVERTONES OMINOUSSEAPODS

anchors most of these. From the dub-like riffs on “Chapeau Russia,” to the funky ones on “No Accommodation for Buffalo,” to the multi-horn styling of “Topolino,” Wolff does much to define D &T’s sound. McKeeby’s playing is dexterous and tastefully experi mental. Nozero’s exuberant drumming, while generally solid and propulsive, occasionally gets busy enough to distract from the overall groove, as it does on the ill-advised “The 10 Attacks of Dagger.” Stand-out tracks on Vinyl Killer include the tricky, infectious “Royronus,” the tribal, Ennio Morricone-meets-James Bond blend of “Eli,” and the afore mentioned J.B.s homage, “No Accommodation...” The production here is clean and unobtrusive and serves to accentuate the cool contrast between the warm, live-' sounding tuba and drums and the often processed, synthy horns and guitars. Drums & Tuba stand out among the current plethora of jammy instrumental trios, not just because of skill or unusual instrumentation, but also for knowing enough to end a song before it gets stale. This is sorta slippery music, hard to define or remember, exactly, intriguing but not really riveting. Drums & Tuba’s dynamics, range and style enable them to appeal to a num ber of audiences. You can be part of one this Monday, when D&T open for Galactic and Les Claypool’s Frog Brigade at Snocore, at Memorial Auditorium in Burlington. — Paul Gibson

Band name of the week: Stuffy Blusblau

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 16 • S8 ADV. SB DAY OF SHOW • ALL AGESI 99.9 THE BUZZ W ELC O M E S

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page 4 ^

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handy pull-out in the April 1 8 M usic Issue of Seven Days.

To assure that your band or business is listed in the 2 0 0 1 M usic Directory, fill out the form belo w and m ail it, fax it or drop it off a t the Seven Days office — or send us the com plete info via e -m a il.

Y es! List m e in th e S even Days 2 0 0 1 V e rm o n t M u s ic D ire c to ry Band/Business Name

Contact Person Address

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support services in and near Verm ont, to be published as a

C ity/State/Zip E -m ail/W eb S ite Phone/Fax □

Band/Musician

□

Studio

□

Club

□

Store

□

Support Service

Describe your music, studio, club, store or support service in 10 words or less:

T H U R S . 0 2 .0 8 INTERNATIONAL FUNK IAN various; freestyle jam • $6, 9pm

AW U J ML .

uji if uh.

You never know whether people

F R I. 0 2 . 0 9 THE FUNKY MIRACLE old school new Orleans funk • $ 6 ,9pm

come to see Cheryl Wheeler for

SAT. 0 2 . fi 0

THANKS

her sweetly aching songs about

S A T . 0 2 .1 7 TALA SEXTET local; jazz under the directionof BrianBoyce of viperHouse* $7, 9pm F R I. 0 2 . 2 3 DAVE KELLER BLUES BAND local blues icon • $6, 9pm SAT. 0 2 . 2 4 SHARON IONES ANDTHE GAP KINGS 1 NYC; old school origial funk • $8 advance, $10 at the door, 9pm

F R I. 0 2 . 1 6 LADIE’S NIGHT W / Dl KWOA mystic reggae; $ 6 ,9pm Ladies in free

sive commentary in between them. Either way, audiences always get a double-barreled dose of entertainment when this

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hardw ick, v t . 4 7 2 -9 6 13

singer-songwriter hits town.

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local; traditional and contemporary African rhythm/dance • $6, 9pm

everyday life or her acerbic, inci

AAA

FULL B A R . P O O L R O O M .S M O K I N G LOUNGE

Wheeler comes to the After Dark Music Series (filling in for the previously scheduled Dee Carstensen) this Saturday at Middlebury’s United Methodist Church. Hallelujah.

continued from page 27 TOPAZ (psychedelic jazz-funk), Toadstool Harry’s, 9 p.m. $5-10.

LIVE MUSIC, Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC.

EXCLAMATE! (rock), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $2.

GIVEN GROOVE (groove rock), Nectar’s, 9 p.m. NC.

SUNDAY

TOP HAT DJ, Rasputin’s, 9 p.m. NC.

DAYVE HUCKETT (jazz guitar),

BASHMENT (DJ John Demus;

Sweetwaters, 11:30 a.m. NC. CHRIS KLEEMAN (acoustic blues/folk), Borders, 3 p.m. NC. SUNDAY NIGHT MASS (DJs), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. $2. LAST NIGHT’S JOY (Irish), Ri Ra Irish Pub, 7 p.m. NC. NOBBY REED BAND (blues), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. TOP HAT DJ (hip-hop), Rasputin's, 9 p.m. $5.

reggae/dancehall), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. OXONOISE (rock), J.P.’s Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. ACOUSTIC JAM, Champion’s Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Cactus Pete's, 9 p.m. NC. JOSH BROOKES (singer-songwriter), Three Mountain Lodge, 6 p.m. NC. SIRSY (acoustic pop duo), Nightspot Outback, 6:30 p.m. NC.

MEAT PUPPETS, THE DAMNATIONS, NEIL CLEARY (punk country, Americana), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $10/12. 18+ DAVE KELLER (acoustic blues), Capitol Grounds, 11 a.m. NC. JAZZ SUNDAY, Compost Art Ctr., 9 p.m. $6. THE CROPPIES (trad. Irish), Gallagher’s, 6 p.m. NC. PAT MCGEE BAND (rock), Pickle Barrel, 9 p.m. $7. RICK REDINGTON (acoustic), Nightspot Outback, 5 p.m. NC, followed by AARON & JEFF (acoustic), 9:30 p.m. NC.

12 MONDAY SNOCORE ICICLE BALL W/GALACTIC, LES CLAYPOOL’S FROG BRIGADE, DRUMS & TUBA (New Orleans blues-funk, instr. jazz-funk), Memorial Aud., Burlington, 7 p.m. $24.55/27.75. LINE DANCING (DJ), 135 Pearl, 7:30 p.m. $3, followed by HAUS HAUS (dance party), 10 p.m. $5. NERBAK BROS, (rock), Nectar’s, 9 p.m. NC. DAVE GRIPPO (jazz/funk), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Rasputin’s, 9 p.m. NC. JERRY LAVENE (jazz guitar), Chow! Bella, 6 p.m. NC. DJ LEVI (techno), Ground Zero, 10 p.m. NC. RICK REDINGTON (acoustic), Nightspot Outback, 6:30 p.m. NC.

13 TUESDAY SONNY & PERLEY (jazz/Brazilian), Leunig's, 7:30 p.m. NC. PUB QUIZ (trivia game w/prizes), Ri Ra, 8:45 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Burlington Coffeehouse, 8 p.m. Donations. ZINGO W/ZENO (drag bingo), 135 Pearl, 8 p.m. Donations.

18+

TOUR with

GALACTIC

andLES CLAYPOOLS FROG BRIGADE onMonday,

14 WEDNESDAY MOVIE NIGHT, 242 Main, 6 p.m. NC. GUY COLASACCO (singer-songwriter), Jake’s, 6:30 p.m. NC. SONNY & PERLEY (jazz/Brazilian), Leunig’s, 7:30 p.m. NC. OPEN SESSION (Irish), College St. Congregational Church, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE KAPERS (host Bob Bolyard), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. NC. BLUES WITHOUT BLAME (jam), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. LAST NIGHT’S JOY (Irish), Ri Ra Irish Pub, 7 p.m. NC. ABAIR BROS, (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC.

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DJS SPARKS, RHINO & HI ROLLA (hiphop, reggae), Rasputin’s, 10 p.m. $6. 18+

VINYL ONE INTERNATIONAL VALEN TINE’S DAY BALL (DJs D-Maximum, Chancellor, Ninjahforce; reggae/dancehall), Millennium Nightclub-Burlington, 9 p.m. NC. 18+ before 11 p.m.

OPEN MIKE W/JIMMY JAMS, Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 10 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m: NC. BLACK EYED PEAS, BABA, A-DOG (hiphop), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $15/17. 18+

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THE MEATPACKERS (country/bluegrass), Good Times Cafe, 7:30 p.m. $2. LADIES NIGHT KARAOKE, City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. BLUES JAM, Gallagher’s, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. NC.

TAMMY FLETCHER & GREG MATSES (acoustic blues/soul), The Shed, 8 p.m. NC. SIRSY (acoustic pop duo), Nightspot Outback, 6:30 p.m. NC. ®

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SEVEN DAYS

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February 2 - March 11 lions

featuring art from recycled materials by local high school students

w w w .F ro g h o ll o w . o r g VERMONT STATE CRAFT CENTER

F R O G

H O L L O W

BURLINGTON MANCHESTER MIDDLEBURY 802/863-6458 802/362-3321 802/388-3177

TALKING TRASH Can’t throw anything away, but your closets are threatening to form a union? Then take a cue from Vermont teen Offering the collections o f Contemporary Jewelry artists featuring designer goldsmith Timothy Grannis.

artists who contributed to Frog Hollow’s

G R A N N IS G ALLERY

fifth annual “Creative ReUse Showcase. All three gallery locations — Burling

iF c n e Q o L b

ton, Middlebury and Manchester —

Comer of Church and Bank, Burlington • 660-2032 • M -S 10-6 • Sun 12-5

are currently exhibiting artworks made from common household refuse, proving

Comin

anew that one persons trash is another’s ... muse. Pictured, “American Graffiti.com, ”by CVUstudents Brian Hulvey and Graham Amedore.

c a ll to

a r t is t s

The Helen Day Art Center in Stowe is accepting registrations for its 16th Annual For Art’s Sake outdoor arts festival in August. Info, call Jack Benoze, 253-9203, or e-mail JackB@weblizard.net. Vermont artists are invited to apply to the 15th annual juried Art’s Alive Festival in June. Deadline: March 1. Application, send SASE to Art’s Alive, 1 Main St., #217, Burlington, VT 05401, or call 864-1557.

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J £ W £ L * T .A S T C O H B I Q U m m 22 CHURCH STREET, BURLINGTON, VT 864-3200 _________________ TUESDAY-SATURDAY 11-5:30.SUNDAY 12-5

JANUARY THAW: FIGURE IT OUT, featur ing drawings, paintings and sculpture by a group of local artists. Studio Place Arts, Barre, 479-7069. Panel discus sion, “The Nude in Art: Issues and Opinions,” February 9, 6:30 p.m. CONUNDRUMS AND CONTEMPLATIONS, new work by Elizabeth Bunsen, Boone Wilson and David Wilson. Alley Cats Arts, Burlington, 865-5079. Reception February 10, 1-3 p.m. COLLAGE AND ASSEMBLAGE ART, a fouryear retrospective by Art Blue. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 8653144. Reception February 10, 4-6 p.m. MY MUSE WORKS THE MIDNIGHT SHIFT, pop-ups and paper engineering by Ellen Bresler. Also, DELIA ROBERTSON AND CAROLINE SHAPIRO, collaborated of human and animal masks in papiermach6, fabric and clay. Blinking Light Gallery, Plainfield, 454-0141. “ Masks, Music and Pop-Ups," reception February 10, 1-5 p.m.; workshop with Bresler 3-4 p.m. $5. A HISTORY OF LIGHTNING IN VERMONT, paintings by Tom Mermin. Also, watercolors by Annelein Beukenkamp. Southern Vermont Art Center, Manchester, 362-1405. Reception February 10, 2-4 p.m. PROCESS ON PAPER: DRAWINGS BY THOMAS EAKINS FROM THE CHARLES BREGLER COLLECTION, featuring draw ings and oils by the 19th-century artist. Fleming Museum, UVM, Burlington, 656-0750. Lecture, “ Uncovering the Bregler Collection,” by art prof Amy

weekly fehruaiy,7r 2QQ1

Werbel, followed by reception, February 11,2 p.m. VERMONT CLAY STUDIO FACULTY, featur ing the work of eight clay professionals and teachers. Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury, 244-1126. Reception February 11, 4-6 p.m. RAOUL M. BRUNN, marquetry panels and paintings. Vermont Interactive Television Studio, Fort Ethan Allen, Colchester, 654-7777. Reception February 11, noon - 2 p.m. L.L. MCALLISTER, panoramic pho tographs of the Burlington photographer from the last century. Francis Colburn Gallery, UVM, Burlington, 656-2014. Reception February 12, 5-7 p.m. ETHAN HUBBARD, photographs. Mist Grill Gallery, Waterbury, 244-2233. Reception February 13, 6-8 p.m.

o n g o in g B U R L IN G T O N A R E A TONY SHULL, paintings, and LANCE RICHBOURG, “ Mad Dogs and New Dogs,” paintings. Red Square, Burlington, 862-3779. POLITICAL CARTOONS by Leah Wittenberg. Muddy Waters, Burlington, 658-0466. CRYSTAL PECK, paintings. Borders Cafe Expresso, 865-2711. Through February. PARADE OF HOMES, paintings by Michael Smith. Village Cup, Jericho, 899-1730. Through February. 14TH ANNUAL CHILDREN’S ART EXHIBI TION, featuring the works of local ele mentary school students. Metropolitan

listings

Gallery, Burlington City Hall, 8657166. Through February. ELDER ART EXHIBIT, featuring the works of Doris Coltran, Dot Albelo, Evangeline Blakeney and Beth Huard. Burnham Library, Colchester, 879-7576. Through February. THE 11TH ANNUAL BROKEN HEARTS SHOW, a group exhibit in multiple media by local artists. Flynndog, Burlington, 652-9985. Through February. 5TH ANNUAL CREATIVE REUSE SHOW CASE, featuring artworks from recycled materials by area high school students. Sponsored by the Chittenden Solid Waste District. Frog Hollow, Burlington, 872-8100. Through March 11. THE BUS BARNS PROJECT, featuring arti facts from a site-specific dance perfor mance at the former Vermont Transit bus repair barns, directed by Hannah Dennison. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington, 865-7166. Through February 18. HOME IN THE ARTS EXHIBIT, featuring works of children ages 5-12 in Very Special Arts Vermont’s after-school pro gram. Uncommon Grounds, Burlington, 655-7775. Through February. UNDER THE SURFACE, an interactive art show featuring subconscious paintings by Melanie Putz Brotz. Cafe Piccolo, Burlington, 862-5515. Through March 1. IMAGES OF CHINA AND JAPAN, pho tographs by Vermont art teacher Jenny Peck. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 865-7211. Through February. SOPHIE QUEST, paintings. Boardroom Cafe, Hauke Campus Center, Champlain College, Burlington, 658-

w w w .se v e n d a y s v t.c o m

1450. Through April. LYNN RUPE, recent paintings and mono types, and DAVID DIEFENDORF, wire sculptures. Union Station, Burlington, 651-1070. Through February 15. ROBERT WALDO BRUNELLE, JR., recent paintings. Book Rack & Children’s Pages, Winooski, 655-0231. Through February. MARY ELLEN MANOCK, watercolors, including paintings of Vermont Respite House. Isabel’s on the Waterfront, Burlington, 860-4436. Through February 12. STEPHEN CARTER: REFLECTIONS OF AN AFRICAN IN AMERICA, featuring Saggarfired and hand-built clay work by the art prof. Colburn Gallery, UVM, Burlington, 656-2014. Through February 9. OLD SUMMITS, FAR-SURROUNDING VIS TAS: THE VERMONT LANDSCAPE PAINT INGS OF CHARLES LOUIS HEYDE, featur ing works by the 19th-century Vermont artist. Fleming Museum, UVM, Burlington, 656-0750. Through June 10. VOICES AND FACES PROJECT, featuring community images by student photog raphers. Living/Learning Gallery, UVM, Burlington, 656-4200. Through February 15. NATURE IS LOCAL: PARANOID NARRA TIVES, featuring work in mixed media by David Huber. Burlington College Gallery, 862-9616. Through February 15. VELAZQUEZ, a mixed-media installation by Bill Davison. One Wall Gallery, Seven Days, Burlington, 864-5684. Through May 1. MARDI GRAS, WIND AND STARS, mono types in oil by Lyna Lou Nordstrom. Chittenden Bank, Burlington, 8641557. Through February. VOICES AND FACES PROJECT: WORK BY NORTHEAST KINGDOM 5TH AND 6TH GRADERS, featuring mixed media. Living/Learning Gallery, UVM, Burlington, 656-4200. Through February 15. ARTS FROM THE AMAZON: 700 artifacts assembled by UVM prof Jim Petersen offer a glimpse into the lives of Amazonian tribes in Brazil. Fleming Museum, UVM, Burlington, 656-0750. Through May 20. FRIENDS AND FAMILY, a group show in mixed media. Men’s Room, Burlington, 864-2088. Through February. TORIN PORTER, an evolving installation, and MR. MASTERPIECE, wall paintings. Club Metronome, Burlington, 8623779. Ongoing. THE FABULOUS ’50S: WELCOME HOME TO POST-WAR VERMONT, the museum’s newest historic house, depicting a Vermont family in 1950; SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW: Continuity and Change in American Furniture and Decorative Arts, 1700-1820; FROM GEORGE WASHINGTON TO P.T. BARNUM, prints; and LANDSCAPE & LIGHT, paint ings by Martin Johnson Heade. Shelburne Museum, 985-3348. Ongoing. RICK SUTTA, oil paintings "with impact.’’ Rick Sutta Gallery, Burlington, 860-7506. Ongoing.

C H A M P L A IN V A L L E Y KIDS INVITATIONAL ART SHOW, featuring works by Addison, Charlotte, Ferrisburgh and Vergennes elementaryschool students. Ferrisburgh Artisans Guild, 877-3668. Through March 20. LARRY JOHNSON PAINTS DAISY’S WORLD, artwork for the book, Daisy and the Doll, about the early life of AfricanAmerican Vermonter Daisy Turner, and artifacts from a century ago. Vermont Folklife Center, Middlebury, 388-4964. Through April 7. CREATIVE REUSE SHOWCASE, featuring artworks from recycled materials by area high school students. Frog Hollow, Middlebury, 388-4074. Through March 11. STORY QUILTS: VOICES IN CLOTH, featur ing six contemporary quilts by Faith Ringgold and Peggie L. Hartwell, along with two historic examples of “ narra tive” quilts. Middlebury College Museum of Art, 443-5007. Through June 3. RUDY BURCKHARDT AND FRIENDS: NEW YORK ARTISTS OF THE 1950S AND ’60S, an exhibit centering on photographer/filmmaker Burckhardt and featuring photographs and film selections on video, both documentary and abstract. Middlebury College

Museum of Art, 443-5007. Through March 18. STONES, SCHOLARS AND SUPPORTERS: MIDDLEBURY AND THE GROWTH OF ITS COLLEGE, a multi-media exhibit in honor of the college’s bicentennial. Henry Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 388-2117. Through March.

P u ls e

CENTRAL V E R M O N T THE ANCESTORS, paintings, drawings and watercolors by Cheryl Daye Dick, chronicling African-American life. Vermont Supreme Court, Montpelier, 828-4784. Through March 2. WHO KNEW?, featuring artwork by the staff of the Vermont Arts Council. Spotlight Gallery, VAC, Montpelier, 828-5422. Through March 5. FANTASY FESTIVAL, featuring current work in acrylics by Pria Cambio, in cel ebration of Mardi Gras. Katie's Jewels, Montpelier, 229-9649. Through February. THE NATURAL WORLD, watercolors by Kathrena Ravenhorst-Adams. Chandler Gallery, Randolph, 728-3232. Through February 18. CONNIE D’ANNA, oil paintings. Capitol Grounds, Montpelier, 223-7800. Through February. FLIGHTS OF FANCY, featuring paintings and sculpture by John Gemignani, Larry Golden, Kato Jaworski, Deborah Smith and Linda Kent. Chaffee Center for the Visual Arts, Rutland, 7750356. Through February 18. RECENT PAINTINGS by Robert Waldo Brunelle Jr. Christine Price Gallery, Castleton State College, 468-5611. Through February 16. VERMONT HAND CRAFTERS: Work by local artisans. Vermont By Design Gallery, Waterbury, 244-7566. Ongoing. SCRAP-BASED ARTS & CRAFTS, featuring re-constructed objects of all kinds by area artists. The Restore, Montpelier, 229-1930. Ongoing. ALICE ECKLES, paintings and mixed media. Old School House, Marshfield, 456-8993. Ongoing.

NO RTHERN CURTIS HALE, new paintings. Julian Scott Memorial Gallery, Johnson State College, 635-1469. Through February 16. MARGO RUSSELL AND DOT KIBBEE, elder artists from the GRACE program. Union Bank, Stowe, 472-6857. Through February. ALLUSION AND REALITY: THE PAINTINGS OF DON WYNN, and FROM THE DREAM TO THE STUDIO, a group show of artworks in varied media. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 253-8358. Both through April 7. ISOMORPHISM: FUSED SETS, paintings and 3D works by Maea Brandt. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 253-8358. Through February 24. ICONS OF BEANIE THE SINGING DOG, sculptural paintings by David Klein. Brown Library Gallery, Sterling College, Craftsbury Common, 586-7711. Through February. FROM THE DREAM TO THE STUDIO: THE ART OF SURREALISM, featuring works by 12 surrealist artists, 10 of them con temporary. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 253-8358. Through April 7.

B y M arc A wodey he 11th annual “Broken Hearts Show” is bigger and more diverse than any o f its lovelorn predecessors. W hat began as a modest February exhibit in the Daily Planets solarium has found a new, and much larger, venue at the Flynndog Gallery — more than 70 artists are involved. Accordingly, the show is nearly as comprehensive a snapshot o f contemporary Vermont art as the South End Art H op or A rts Alive. And given the more expansive location, it includes many largescale works that would literally not have fit at the Planet. Kate Ponds “Unspoken Truth From the Heart” has a delicate and insular feel despite being constructed from slabs o f rust ed steel, thanks to smaller shapes and markings enclosed by sliced, parabolic forms. Her threefoot-high sculpture is the kind of state ment that gives this years “Broken Hearts Show” greater depth, and breadth. So is “Berry,” a group of 16 paint ings by Paige Berg. Although the smaller paintings are individually priced, they actually form a uni fied whole. This large square is a “theme and vari ations” made up of the many geometric relation ships and patterns that a simple heart shape can generate. Like Pop Art, the colors are flat and the shapes are hard-edged. Its limited range o f hues, from pink to lavender to grayish purple, is also reminiscent of Pop. More ominous echoes of the ’60s appear in a collection of photos by Fred Stetson, entitled “Mekong Memories.” Stetson recently printed this group o f 24 matted photos from negatives shot during a 1966-’67 tour of duty in Vietnam. These are not angst-filled photographs — most o f the soldiers and civilians are smiling — but there is an implied poignan cy, given the his toric reality of the war and its aftermath. All the photos are blackand-white, except for one picture of a thin, nearly emaciated boy waist-deep in water and dragT ging a fishing net. An accompanying text for these works is in a binder at SoHome, a furnishings shop across the hall. There are two artist-poet collaborations in the show. “Three Sisters” is a surrealistic dollhouse-like installation by Sharon Webster and Sue Burton. Webster is also a fine poet, but her contribution to this piece is the construction. “Passages in Arrhythmic Tim e,” by Rachel Newman and Marylen Grigas, features a framed poem by Grigas and other visual elements. The boundaries o f the installation are a little unclear, as its part o f a grouping o f living-room furniture in the gallery

with several other works sited nearby. “Mechanical Botanies,” by Lindsey M acDonald Louchheim, blurs boundaries between media by incorporating drawing, photog raphy and etching into a loose collage. D om inated by black, white and grays, there is also a ruddy smear o f seeds on the left side o f this com pound image. Rich in severed triangles, per spective sketches and inky splashes, the collage is a carefully orchestrated cacophony o f visual tex tures. Muffin Rays large-

“ Romantic Emergency Call Box,” by Larry Ribbecke scale painting, “Rabbits in Foreplay,” is full o f tac tile textures as well as humor. Ray scumbles layers o f encaustic and oil to build an active blue-gray color field. W ithin the two central forms are sub tle accents o f gold and coppery colors. In perfect harm ony w ith Rays Abstract Expressionist aes thetic, broad and energetic black brush strokes define two off-centered forms — and, yes, they are bunny rabbits.

The “Broken Hearts Show ” is full of man’ delectable surprises, and is certainly

ELSEW HERE PICASSO: THE VOLLARD SUITE, 19301937, featuring 100 prints compiled by French art dealer Ambroise Vollard. Also, TREASURES FROM DARTMOUTH COLLEGE’S RAUNER LIBRARY, featuring illuminated manuscripts, rare docu ments and books. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 603-646-2808. Both through March 11. HITCHCOCK, an exhibit devoted to the aesthetic development of director Alfred Hitchcock’s films, with posters, production stills, film clips, annotated scripts and set models. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, 514-285-1600. Through March 18. PLEASE NOTE: Seven Days is unable to accommodate all of the displays in our readership area, thus these listings must be restricted to exhibits in truly public viewing places. Art in business offices, lobbies and private residences or studios, with occasional exceptions, will not be accepted Send your listings

more provocative than the usual box of

mdentifiable mixed chocolates. A nother noteworthy piece in the exhibit is “Bleeding Hearts” — a technically innovative, large-scaled color Xerox capturing the graceful blossoms and leaves o f a sprig from the bleeding heart plant, on an active gray background. T he artist is Pat Parsons — a well-known collector, dealer and supporter o f the arts in Vermont as well as nationally. Hopefully “Bleeding Hearts” is simply the first o f her efforts on the other side, as it were. She certainly has a good eye. Bring your Valentine to see the 11th “Broken Hearts Show.” Its full o f m any delectable surpris es, and is certainly more provocative than the

“Broken Hearts Show ,” a group exhibit in multi-media. Flynndog Gallery, Burlington. Through February.

february 7,2001

SEVEN DAYS

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Middleburv M arble Works 3 8 8 -2 2 0 0 Burlington 131 B attery 6 6 0 -5 5 4 5 VHS

and DVD

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C H IN E SE FEUD Yeoh give s ch ase in one of the gravity-defying fight sc e n e s of

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragons. CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN D R A G O N ****

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Ang Lee has called his latest film “a dream o f China, a China that probably never existed,” and that’s a pretty safe bet, given that its sword-wielding characters do battle atop swaying boughs and leap tall buildings in a single bound like imperial superheroes. Probably the most robustly origi nal production of the past year, Lee’s movie combines elements from classic Hollywood romances and epic adventures with conventions from H ong Kong martial arts films. T he sub limely wacky result suggests a Marvel comic written by a Zen poet and drawn by a master Chinese painter. Chow Yun Fat stars as a cele brated warrior who has decided to lay down his sword and take a new path in life. Michelle Yeoh plays a skilled fighter and owner o f a highly successful security ser vice. Early in the picture it

becomes clear that the two share a deep love for one another but have never spoken of it. We learn that, many years earlier, Yeoh had been about to marry a close friend of Fat’s, and that her betrothed had been killed in battle before the wedding could take place. Despite the feeling each devel oped for the other over the years that followed, neither wished to risk dishonoring the dead, and so both remained silent. It’s equally clear that the war rior is close to breaking his silence, that he realizes he’s wasted precious years and that he doesn’t want to waste a minute more. Before he can make his love con nection, though, all narrative hell breaks loose. His legendary sword, “the Green Destiny,” is stolen, a young woman on the verge of entering into an arranged mar riage reveals her secret identity as a masked kung fu bandit, and Jade Fox, the evil woman who poisoned and killed Fat’s master, arrives on the scene bringing

bloodshed and mayhem. You can practically hear Fat railing, “Every time I get out, they pull me back in,” like Pacino in The Godfather I I I as he puts his personal plans on hold and opens a major can of whoop-ass on the forces o f evil. W hich is making a long, sub tly told and elegantly directed story short. This is just a stun ningly well-made film: soulful performances given by both leads (it’s easy to see how Fat got to be the most popular actor in the world); majestic cinematography; achingly lovely score, featuring the cello o f Yo Yo Ma; and dreamlike, gravity-defying fight ballets designed by M atrix chore ographer Yuen Wo Ping. Crouching Tiger, H idden Dragon is that rarest o f cinematic ani mals, a movie holding so many treasures it’s impossible to discov er them all in a single viewing. I’m currently on my third, and Lee’s film just keeps getting better. ®

Loaded With Copies of the Hits!

log on now for: showtimes I previews I shorts I reviews

EVENDAYSVT.

Vermont’s alternative webweekly I

t ■ 3\

MAL.ENA*** Monica Belluci stars in the

p r e v ie w s HANNIBAL Ridley Scott follows G la d ia to r with the highly anticipated

sequel to The S ile n c e o f the Lam bs, which finds Hannibal Lecter at large in Europe. Anthony Hopkins, Julianne Moore and Gary Oldman star. (R) SAVING SILVERMAN Jason Biggs, Jack Black and Steve Zahn are teamed in this comedy about two buds who take evasive action to prevent their best friend from marrying a woman he doesn’t truly love. With Amanda Peet. (PG-13) RATCATCHER (NR) Lynne Ramsey’s directorial debut is set during the Glasgow garbage strike of the early ’70s and tells the story of a remark able and mischievous 12-year-old boy. (NR)

s h o rts *= REFUND, PLEASE ** = COULD’VEBEEN WORSE, BUT NOTA LOT *** = HAS ITS MOMENTS; SO-SO **** = SMARTER THAN THEAVERAGEBEAR ***** = AS GOODAS IT GETS

THE WEDDING PLANNER** Jennifer Lopez makes her romantic comedy debut in this boilerplate laugher about a woman who falls for the guy whose nuptials she’s about to organize. With Matthew McConaughey and Kevin Pollack. (PG-13) VALENTINE***'" David Boreanaz stars in this throwback to the slasher films of the '80s, the saga of a former cam pus nerd who grows up, gets buff and returns to murder women who once taunted him. With Denise Richards, Jessica Capshaw and Jessica Cauffiel. (R) HEAD OVER HEELS** Shouldn't Freddie Prinze Jr. be making some sort of foray into serious drama already? The actor’s umpteenth goofball teen comedy has him playing a young man of mystery who lives next to five young women, who decide to play detective and uncover his deep, dark secret. Monica Potter and China Chow costar. Mark Waters directs. (PG-13)

desert island for four years. With Helen Hunt. (PG-13) latest from C inem a Pa rad iso director SAVE THE LAST DANCE*** Julia Stiles Giuseppe Tornatori, the lyrical tale of a stars in the story of a small-town white beautiful young World War II widow girl who moves to Chicago and devel who befriends a 13-year-old boy. (R) ops a passion for dance and a young FRANKENSTEIN (NR) Boris Karloff gives black man. Vince Green costars. his most memorable performance as Thomas Carter directs. (PG-13) the monster made from spare parts in 0 BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU?***’" this 1931 classic from James Whale, George Clooney and John Turturro star the subject of the recent film Gods in the latest from the the Coens, a a n d M onsters. (NR) comedy about Mississippi chain-gang MODERN TIMES (NR) Charlie Chaplin as escapees that the brothers say they the Little Tramp confronts the dehu based on The Odyssey. (PG-13) manizing technology of a future soci CHARLIE’S ANGELS*** Drew Barrymore, ety in this prophetic and still hilarious Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu get togeth 1936 comedy. (NR) er for this skimpy-on-the-costumes, SNATCH***’" Brad Pitt heads the cast heavy-on-the-effects adaptation of the of Guy Ritchie’s new comedy, the story vintage TV series. Don’t worry, Bill of a diamond heist gone awry. Benicio Murray is fully clothed. (PG-13) Del Toro and Dennis Farina costar. (R) MEET THE PARENTS*'" In the latest FINDING FORRESTER***’" Gus Van from Jay (A u s tin Powers ) Roach Robert Sant's latest features Sean Connery in De Niro is an intimidating ex-CIA oper the role of a reclusive author who ative. Ben Stiller is the prospective comes to the aid of a struggling young son-in-law who accompanies his writer. With Robert Brown, Anna daughter home for a first visit and Paquin and that literary thespian .v finds himself on the wrong end of a Busta Rhymes. (PG-13) grgeling interrogation. With Teri Polo THE PLEDGE**’" Sean Penn brings ancftSlythe Danner. (PG-13) Friedrich Durrenmatt’s best-selling THE FAMILY MAN** It's a W onderful drama to the big screen. Jack L ife meets The S ixth Sense, sort of, in Nicholson reteams with the filmmaker the story of a Wall Street playboy who for the story of a small-town police wakes up one morning magically trans chief who promises a bereaved mother planted into the life he might have led he’ll find her daughter's killer. With if he’d married his high-school sweet Aaron Eckhart and Robin Wright Penn. heart. Nicolas Cage and Tea Leoni star. (R) (PG-13) CHOCOLAT**** The new comedy from VERTICAL LIMIT*** Chris O’Donnell Lasse Hallstrom is set in the 1950s plays a young climber who launches a and stars Juliet Binoche as a single highly treacherous recue expedition to mother who moves to a small French save his sister and her team trapped town to open an unusual chocolate atop the world’s second-highest moun shop. With Judi Dench and Johnny tain. Bill Paxton and Scott Glenn Depp. (PG-13) costar. (PG-13) TRAFFIC***'" Steven Soderbergh’s lat DR. SEUSS’ HOW THE GRINCH STOLE est is a visually dazzling downer of a CHRISTMAS***'" Ron Howard directs film , a pessimistic meditation on the this adaptation of the children’s clas power of addiction and futility of sic. Jim Carrey stars as the big green American drug policy. The superb cast meanie. With Christine Baranski and includes Benicio Del Toro, Michael Molly Shannon. (PG) Douglas and Catherine. Zeta-Jones. (R) CAST AWAY*** From Robert (W h at Lies B eneath) Zemeckis comes the reason Tom Hanks grew that beard, the story of a corporate strategist stranded on a

new

DR. T. AND THE WOMEN*** The latest from legendary filmmaker Robert Altman chronicles the personal turmoil of a handsome gynecologist in the throes of a mid-life crisis. Richard Gere and Helen Hunt star. (R) DIGIMON: THE MOVIE** Oh, good: While we wait for the next big-screen Pokemon release, we can watch our kids get sucked into a whole new mar keting scheme — I mean movie fran chise. Jeff Nimoy directs this animat ed adventure in which eight kids help defend DigiWorld, and the digital mon sters who live there, from the usual forces of evil. (PG)

o n v id e o

URBAN LEGENDS: THE FINAL CUT**'" The B la ir W itch P ro je c t meets Scream in this freeloading festival of celluloid larceny about students who decide to make a movie concerning popular urban legends and, one by one, fall victim to sinister forces. With Jenny Morrison and Joey Lawrence. (R) WHIPPED*’" From director Peter Cohen comes this romantic comedy about three young men and the one woman they ail fall for. Amanda Peet stars. (R)

the hoyts cinemas

F iL M Q u IZ cosponsored by Lippa’s Jewelers

face lifts

Once again w e’ve selected scenes from four well-known movies and, through the magic of Film

shOWtimES

All shows daily unless otherwise indicated. * = New film.

Film times.maichange. Please call theaters ta cunfiim.

CIN EM A NINE

BIJOU CINEPLEX 1-2-3-4

College Street, Burlington, 863-9515.

Shelburne Rd, S. Burlington, 864-5610.

Rt. 100, Morrisville, 888-3293.

Wednesday 31 — thursday 1

friday 9 — thursday 15

friday 2 — thursday 8 Hannibal* 12:10, 3:20, 6:45, 9:45. Save the Last Dance 12:50, 3:30, 6:20, 9:15. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon 11:50, 2:20, 4:50, 7:30, 10. Head Over Heels 12:20, 2:30, 4:35, 7:10, 9:50. Chocolat 1, 3:45, 6:30, 9:20. 0 Brother, Where Art Thou? 12:35, 3:10, 7, 9:30. Matinees before 3pm Sat-Sun only.

SHOW CASE C IN EM A S 5

Valentine 7:30, 10. Sugar and Spice 7:15, 9:20. The Wedding Planner 6:50, 9:15. Snatch 7:20, 9:55. Save the Last Dance 7, 9:30. Finding Forrester 6:30, 9:25. Traffic 6:40, 9:50. Cast Away 6:45, 9:45. What Women Want 6:55, 9:40.

friday 2 — thursday 8 Hannibal* 12:30, 1, 3:30, 4, 6:30, 7, 9:30, 9:55. Saving Silverman* 12:20, 2:30, 4:40, 7:10, 9:20. Valentine 12, 2:15, 4:30, 7:30, 10. The Wedding Planner 1:30, 4:10, 6:50, 9:15. Snatch 1:20, 4, 7:20, 10:05. Finding Forrester 12:30, 3:35, 6:45, 9:40. Traffic 12:15, 3:30, 6:40, 9:50. Cast Away 12:05, 3:15, 6:35, 9:35. Matinees Sat-Sun only.

Williston Road, S. Burlington, 863-4494.

ETHAN ALLEN CIN EM A S 4

Wednesday 31 — thursday 1

North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040.

Head Over Heels 7:15, 9:40. Miss Congeniality 6:50, 9:30. Cast Away 7, 9:50 (Fri-Sat only). The Pledge 6:40, 9:25. Save the Last Dance 7:05, 9:35

friday 2 — thursday 8 Malena 1:30, 4:15, 7:10, 9:35. Head Over Heels 1:40, 4:20, 7:15, 9:40. Cast Away 1, 4, 7, 9:50 (Fri-Sat only). The Pledge 1:10, 3:50, 6:40, 9:25. Save the Last Dance 1:20, 4:10, 6:50, 9:30. Matinees Sat-Sun only.

Wednesday 7 — thursday 8 Family Man 6:45, 9:30. Vertical Limit 1, 6:30, 7, 8:50, 9:20. Meet the Parents 7:10. Charlie’s Angels 9:35.

friday 9 — thursday 15 Family Man 1:15, 3:45, 6:45, 9:15. Vertical Limit 1:30, 4, 7, 8:30 (Fri-Sun only), 9:25. Meet the Parents 1:25, 6:30 (Fri-Sun), 7:10 (Mon-Thurs). Charlie’s Angels 4:10, 9:35. The Grinch 1:40, 3:50, 6:15 (Fri-Sun), 7:15 (Mon-Thurs), 9:20 (Mon-Thurs). Matinees Sat-Sun only.

stars right out of the picture. Your job, as always, is to identify the four films anyway, minus their stars

NICKELODEON CIN EM A S

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon 4:50, 7:30, 10. Malena 6:20, 9:15. Head Over Heels 7:10, 9:40. Shadow of the Vampire 9:20. Chocolat 6:45, 9:30. 0 Brother, Where Art Thou? 6:30, 9:50.

Quiz Technology, zapped the famous faces of their

and with only a single clue-ridden scene apiece to go on.

Hannibal* 1, 3:30, 6:40, 9:10. The Wedding Planner 1:20, 3:50, 6:50, 9. Save the Last Dance 1:10, 3:40, 7, 9:05. Cast Away 1:30, 4, 6:30, 8:50. Matinees Sat-Sun only. Late show Fri-Sat only.

THE SAVOY

Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509.

Wednesday 7 — Wednesday 14 Frankenstein 4 (Thurs). Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon 1:30 (Sat-Sun), 6:30, 9. Modern Times 11am (Sat-Sun). Ratcatcher 4 (Sat-Sun).

For more film fun don’t forget to watch “Art Patrol” every Thursday, Friday and Sunday on News Channel 5!

LAST W EEK’S W IN N E R S

LAST W EEK’S ANSW ERS

Schedules for the following theaters are not available at press time. CAPITOL THEATRE 93 State Street, Montpelier, 229-0343. MAD RIVER FLICK Route 100, Waitsfield, 496-4200. MARQUIS THEATER Main Street, Middlebury, 388-4841.

FAMOUS FACE A:

NONE!

JENNIFER LOPEZ FAMOUS FACE B: LEA THOMPSON

PARAMOUNT THEATRE 241 North Main Street, Barre, 479-9621. STOWE CINEMA Baggy Knees Shopping Ctr., Stowe, 253-4678. WELDEN THEATER 104 No. Main St., St. Albans, 527-7888.

DEADLINE: MONDAY • PRIZES: 10 PAIRS OF FREE PASSES PER WEEK. PLUS, EACH WEEK ONE LUCKY WINNER WILL RECEIVE A GIFT CERTIFICATE COURTESY OF CARBUR’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE. SEND ENTRIES TO: FILM QUIZ PO BOX 68, WILLISTON, VT 05495. OR EMAIL TO ultrfnprd@aol.com. BE SURE TO INCLUDE YOUR ADDRESS. PLEASE ALLOW FOUR TO SIX WEEKS FOR DELIVERY OF- PRIZES.

a february 7, 2001

SEVEN DAYS

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Fanny Hospital expansion, another on a pending Taft Corners Big Box project, and a third on the pro posed Lowe’s Home Center on Shelburne Road next to Potash Brook. Sinclair told Seven Days Tuesday that “Potash Brook is trashed. You can’t drink it. You can’t swim in it and you can’t Fish in it.” In the cases cited, he said, CLF is only asking the state to enforce the federal Clean Water Act requirement that new devel opments have SWD cleanup plans. Sinclair charged there is a “double standard” at play. “The ski areas and utilities are required to comply,” he said, “while Big Box stores and suburban develop ment have gotten off scot-free.” Sinclair said CLF will also oppose sewer-line extensions in areas that are “sprawlish.” Frank Cioffi is “miffed,” he told Seven Days, “because CLF successfully opposed the use of state funds to finance a sewer line to GBIC’s Milton industrial park.” The battle on this new envi ronmental front is just heating up. And as long as there’s “no political will by the governor” to make developers play by the rules, said Sinclair, this one won’t go away soon. By the way, the president/publisher of The Burlington Free Press, James Carey sits on GBIC’s board and is a member of its exec utive committee. Congratulations, Jim! One might think more sewer-line extensions would trans late into more subscribers for Boss Carey’s newspaper?

...your Neighborhood Toy Itore 90 Church St. Burlington, VT (802) 865-4386

— T he Wallingford postal worker fighting Big Brother in Vermont’s premier political correctness flap has attracted the services of a “celebrity” lawyer. Well, the Vermont version of a celebrity lawyer. And the celebrity lawyer argues the law invoked to deny Carol Ann Martin an “IRISH” vanity plate has, itself, got to go!

Coincidentally, the lawyer is a lawmaker. State Sen. John Bloomer of Rutland, the Senate minority leader, tells Seven Days he’s offered his legal talents pro bono to represent Ms. Martin and the forces of common sense. Last June, the Department of Motor Vehicles denied Ms. Martin’s request for an “IRISH” vanity plate. DMV Commish Bonnie Rutledge ruled that under the brand-new administrative rules that had gone into effect the day Martin filed her request, it would be “offensive” to issue such a plate because the term “IRISH” refers to “ethnic origin.” Martin appealed, but a DMV hearing examiner ruled against her. Now her Irish was really up, as they say. Ms. Martin knew something was very wrong, so she took the case to the county court house in Montpeculiar all by her self, and sued the DMV. Now she’s got Young Bloomer on her team. Things are looking up. In a memorandum filed with the court, the Rutland Rocket argues the D M V ’s decision “does not make sense to a reasonable person” and the court should exercise its authority to invalidate it. Let’s face it, were living in an increasingly politically correct world. It was back in 1977 that the legislature gave the Motor Vehicle Commissioner the specif ic power to refuse to honor vanity plate requests “that might be offensive or confusing to the gen eral public.” Back then, the DMV came up with what’s called an “administrative rule” that clarified what “offensive or confusing” actually means. Twenty-three years ago it meant a phrase that suggests “anything of a vulgar nature,” or of an “ethnic” or “reli gious” connotation. Also prohib ited were plates that “suggest a government or government agency... or suggest the use of regulated drugs.” In the never-ending quest to keep up to date, the DMV revised and updated the rule last year. The new one prohibits vanity plates that refer to “a race, reli gion, color, deity, ethnic heritage, gender, sexual orientation, disabil ity status or political affiliation.” Because “IRISH” denotes “ethnic heritage,” noted Commissioner Rutledge, it’s verboten. A better mousetrap had been built. And Carol Ann Martin has the distinction of being the first captured mouse. Only Ms. Martin is the mouse that roared. Her lawyer, Sen. Bloomer, says the new rule “ignores legislative intent,” is “arbitrary” and “over broad.” If applied in the manner Rutledge has chosen to apply it, argues Bloomer, words like “Mom, Dad, Boy, Girl, USA, Canada, English and French” are just as “offensive.” A hearing is scheduled for Washington County Superior Court next month. This one’s a nice little gem for the -21st centu ry. Time to rally the supporters of French kissing, going Dutch and eating Chinese! ®

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rhc1tragedy of Carmen is not just in the story line: a fickle gyps}' leads a young soldier to his ruin and her own agonizing death. Behind the scenes, Bizets bestknown work flopped when it pre miered in 1875 and the composer died just three months later at the age of 37 — without a clue his opera would live on forever. The London City Opera sings the sexy Spanish story — in French, with English supertitles. Friday, February 9. Flynn Center, Burlington. 7:30 p.m. $20, 38 &51 Info, 863-5966.

winter’s eve A better name for Massachusettsbased Double Edge Theater might be “Double Standard.” In its newest work, the troupe known for original performance cycles combining music, poetry, dance, puppetry and the circus arts explores the contradictions of a woman’s role in modern society. Relentless, the first third of The Garden of Intim acy and Desire, looks at visions of gender roles and the erotic in the writings of, among others, Kafka, Euripides, Lorca, Anais Nin and Marie Antoinette. Now there’s a femme intimately familiar with cuttingedge drama. . . Thursday through Saturday, February 8 to 10. Flynn Space, Burlington, 8 p.m . $16. Info, 863-5966.

poetry with pictures At the St. Johnsbury Athenaeum they know how to put the “art” in “party.” The 130-year-old pub lic library and gallery is celebrat ing its anniversary along with the lifetime achievement of tw o ven erable Vermonters who have observed — and shaped — the cultural landscape of the state: artist Sabra Field and Pulitzer Prize-winning poet Galway Kinnell. Appropriately, Vermont Life editor Tom Slayton does the honors. . . Friday, Lehrnary 9. St. Andrews Church and The Athenaeum, St. Johnsbury, 7:30 p.m . $15. Info, 748-8291.

one took the gold in the presti gious International Violin Competition of Indianapolis and walked off with a loaned 1683 Stradivarius formerly owned by Josef Gingold. Icelandic-born Judith Ingolfsson made her solo orchestral debut at the age of 8 and has since sounded off with some of the world's finest sym phonies. Pianist Ronald Sat sits in with her for an evening of Brahms sonatas. Friday, February 9. M iddlebury College Center fo r the Arts, 7:30p.m . Free. Info, 443-6433.

Ever thought about tackling tire “sport” of ice fishing? There’s more to it than sitting around the ice shanty w ith tip-ups and beers. Get cold-hands-on experience in a class on Norton Lake taught by Ross Stevens, who will also host recess in his nearby cozy cabin. A one-day fishing license is required if you plan to fish, and be sure to wear your vvoolies. . . Sunday, February 11. Vermont Leadership Cotter, East Charleston, 9 a. m. $10. Info, 723-4705.

W hen his daughters were 6 and 8. popular recording artist Tom Chapin and his family had heard enough childrens music. “My daughters had outgrown music for toddlers but weren't ready for the rebellion o f the radio, the popular recording artist recalled. “ There just wasn’t a n y music for them .” So he made eight albums for grade schoolers to groove on. Hear his mix of humor, humanity and environmental consciousness in a concert sampling his latest release, This Pretty Planet. Sunday, February 11. Flynn Center, Burlington, 2 p.m . $13.50. Info, 863-5966.

Borders! moment no. 27 Written with stark honesty and ' deep compassion, it tells every woman what she needs to know about drinking, and tells it straight.

february 7-14

Seven Days recommends you confirm all calendar events, as times and dates may change after the paper Is printed.

7 Wednesday Hours Thursday February 15, at 7pm Devon Jersild talks about & signs

Happy Hours Alcohol in a Woman’s Life

BORDERS

29 Church Street Burlington 865-2711

* j \ u d u b o n VERM ONT

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• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” FARMERS’ NIGHT CONCERT: The New England Kurn-Hattin Homes Jazz Band and Choir gets citizens engaged at the Statehouse, Montpelier, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 828-2231. ACOUSTIC OPEN MIKE: The Cambridge Coffeehouse encourages expressive amateurs at the Windridge Bakery, Jeffersonville, 7-9 p.m. Donations. Info, 644-5721. VAUGHAN RECITAL SERIES: Pianist Sarah Cahill performs a pro gram of contemporary and classical cuts with an American accent. Faulkner Recital Hall, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 12:30 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2422.

drama ‘INHERIT THE W IND’: Based on the 1925 Scopes “monkey trial,” this play is a classic courtroom drama. Briggs Opera House, White River Junction, 8 p.m. $15-24. Info, 291-9009. ‘CREATOR OF BASKETBALL’: Actor Robert Cheney portrays James Naismith as he invented the popular American game at Springfield College. Randolph Senior Center, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 728-9324.

film ‘SOLAS’: In this Spanish-language film set in Seville, a young woman in desperate circumstances must share an apartment with her estranged mother. Catamount Arts, St. Johnsbury, 7 p.m. $6. Info, 748-2600. ‘THE LEGEND OF BAGGER VANCE’: Will Smith plays a mysti cal figure who helps a WWI hero find emotional and athletic salvation through golf. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 6:45 & 9:15 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

art

With Special Guest

DENNIS BLAIR

ITURDAY NIGHT, FEBRUARY 1 7 7 :0 0 P M & 9 :3 0 P M Flynn Center for the Performing Arts, Burlington, Vermont Charge Tickets by Phone (802) 86-FLYNN

■s - m m r

• Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: The human figure motivates aspiring and accomplished artists in a weekly drawing session on the second floor of the Firehouse Gallery, 135 Church St., Burlington, 6-8:30 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-7165. PETER HALLEY: The painter best known for large-scale geometric abstract canvasses discusses his recent work. College Hall Chapel, Vermont College of Norwich University, Montpelier, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 828-8821. GALLERY TALK: Fleming Museum curator Janie Cohen takes up “The Influence of Rembrandt’s Art on Picasso’s Vollard Suite,” now on exhibit at the Hood Museum. Loew Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover,

N.H., 5 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2808.

words BOt)K DISCUSSION GROUP: A freshly formed group compares . notes on Accordion Crimes by Annie Proulx. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7211. CRIME NOVEL BOOK DISCUS SION: Readers launch a thorough investigation of The Real Cool Killers, by Chester Himes. South Burlington Community Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 652-7080. MIDDLE EASTERN VOICES BOOK GROUP: A roundtable of readers explores the distinct cultures of the Middle East via Sahar Khalifeh’s Wild Thorns. Morristown Elementary School, 7:30-9 p.m. Free. Info, 888-3853.

kids ‘TINY TOTS’ STORY TIME: The 3-and-under crowd shares social time and stories. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 10 a.m. Free, Info, 8648001. STORY TIME: Little listeners enjoy tall tales. Pierson Library, Shelburne, 10:30-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 985-5124. STORY AND CRAFT TIME: Preschoolers aged 3 to 6 dabble in designs and drama. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10-10:45 a.m. FreeTlnfo, 865-7216. HOMESCHOOLERS STORY TIME: Kids older than 4 meet up with other homeschooled peers. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 1:30-2:30 p.m. Free. Info, 8657216.

etc CAREER AND INTERNSHIP FAIR: Area students get briefed on jobs and internships by local and New England-based employers. Alliott Hall Lobby, St. Michael’s College, Colchester, 11 a.m. —1 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535. BUSINESS TALK: David Blittersdorf of NRG Systems, a Vermont-based manufacturer of wind-power measuring instruments, speaks at a gathering of the Service Corps of Retired Executives, Prouty Federal Building, Essex Junction, 9:30 a.m. Free. Info, 951-6762. ‘STEP-UP FOR W OM EN’ ORI ENTATION: Get the facts about an employment training program open to women interested in nontraditional jobs. 97 Main St., Waterbury, 2-4 p.m. Free. Register, 800-639-1472. BUSINESS ROUNDTABLE: Women business owners convene to explore “developing a business image” in five separate but simulta neous sessions in Burlington, Montpelier, St. Johnsbury, Rutland and Brattleboro, 6-8 p.m. Free. Register, 877-770-8922. FOREST SLIDESHOW: Naturalist Alcott Smith presents an illustrated talk on winter wildlife in northern forests. Montpelier City Hall, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 223-3216.

RACISM WORKSHOP: Ali Rashad Umrani offers a hopeful per spective in a talk titled “Confront ing Racism in American Society.” North Lounge, Billings, UVM, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 652-3083. ‘AFFORDABLE PHILAN THROPY’: Business people get briefed on the mutual benefits of giving back to the community. Vermont Businesses for Social Responsibility hosts a gathering at Rhino Foods, 79 Industrial Parkway, Burlington, 3:30-5 p.m. $10. Register, 862-8347. HIMALAYAN SLIDESHOW: Four Hinesburg residents show snaps of their recent trek to the Annapurna base camp in Nepal. Carpenter Carse Library, Hinesburg, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 482-2878. INFORMATIONAL MEETING: Teens and parents learn about a summer program at the Lake Champlain Maritime Museum that involves building and paddling a sea kayak. 112 Vergennes High School, 7 p.m. Free. Register, 475-2022 ext. 113. ‘BABY BASICS’: Childcare is avail able for parents in search of essential tips on nurturing infants. Brook Street School, Barre, 6-8 p.m. $5. Register, 828-8779. WOLF TALK: Hear about a pro posal to remove the gray wolf from the endangered species list and pro mote its recovery in the Northeast. Lake Champlain Basin Science Center, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-1848. REIKI CLINIC: Practitioners of all levels learn about the hands-on heal ing method. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 864-9988. BATTERED W OM EN’S SUP PORT GROUP: Women Helping Battered Women facilitates a group in Burlington, 6:30-8 p.m. Free. Info, 658-1996.. HEALTH LECTURE: Learn how to get fit — fast — at a talk entitled “Half Hour to Better Health.” Chiropractic Works, Burlington, 5:20 p.m. Free. Info, 864-5000.

tnursday music • Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” PAUL ASBELL: The celebrated gui tarist of the “Unknown” Blues Band entertains acoustically at the Daily Bread Bakery, Richmond, 7:30 p.m. $5. Info, 434-3148.

dance ‘RELENTLESS’: Inspired by the erotic writings of Anais Nin and Rilke, Double Edge Theatre uses music, poetry and intensely physical dance to explore women’s societal roles. See “to do” list, this issue. FlynnSpace, Burlington, 8 p.m. $16. Info, 863-5966.

drama ‘INHERIT THE W IN D ’: See February 7. ‘CREATOR OF BASKETBALL’: See February 7, Northfield Senior Center, 12:45 p.m. Free. Info, 485-6105. SECOND CITY COMEDY THE ATRE: A stand-out source of “Saturday Night Live” comics keeps ’em laughing at the Lake Placid Center for the Arts, N.Y., 8 p.m. $20. Info, 518-523-2512.

film ‘SOLAS’: See February 7. ‘EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF’: Jean-Luc Godard directed this con fessional fantasy about a generation of alienated middle-aged men unable to fit into the new order. Loew Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 p.m. $6. Info, 603646-2422.

art • See exhibit openings in the art list ings.

words POETRY WORKSHOP: Local poet David Weinstock shares writ ing tips with aspiring authors. Ilsley Public Library, Middlebury, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 388-7523.

kids SONG AND STORYTIME: Threes are company at this singing read-along for babies and toddlers. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10-10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. STORYTIME: Kids get into Fishing with the Air by Newbury Awardwinner Sharon Creech. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 3:30 p.m. Free. Info,. 864-8001.

sport FULL M OON HIKE: The Montpelier section of the Green Mountain Club leads a moonlight snowshoe up Irish Hill in Berlin. Meet at the rear parking lot of Montpelier High School, 5:30 p.m. Free. Register, 223-7035. FULL MOON SNOWSHOE: Night-time skiers listen for owls and coyotes on a guided trek at the Vermont Leadership Center, E. Charleston, 7 p.m. $5. Register, 723-4705. GROUP SKI: Adventurers explore the network of nordic trails at the •Highland Lodge, Greensboro, 9:45 a.m. Free. Register, 533-2647.

etc MLK MEMORIAL LECTURE: Novelist, poet and screenwriter Al Young rhetorically asks, “Can Love Matter in the Brave New McWorld?” Ira Allen Chapel, UVM, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 656-2263. HISTORY TALK: A research-in progress seminar takes up the mar ginal existence of French-Canadian and Irish immigrants in 19th-centu ry Charlotte. Memorial Lounge, Waterman Building, UVM, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 656-4389. MANAGEMENT CONFER ENCE: The psychology of manag ing with grace under adverse condi tions is the topic of a day-long dis cussion at the Bishop Booth Conference Center, Burlington, 8:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. $225. Register, 656-2088. MEDICAL LEAVE SEMINAR: Human resource managers learn the

ins and outs of family and medical leave regulations. Holiday Inn, S. Burlington, 9 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. $199. Register, 715-833-3959. ADVENTURE SLIDE SHOW: Photographer Berne Broudy and Mary Yates transport viewers with stories and slides of their 3000-mile bike, bus and backpack tour of Chile. Vermont Commons School, S. Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $3. Info, 434-7257. ‘ECONOMIC APARTHEID’ WORKSHOP: Author Felice Yeskel expands on her book, Economic Apartheid in America, about the growing gap between the haves and have-nots in America. McCarthy Arts Center, St. Michael’s College, Colchester, 4-5:15 p.m. and John Dewey Lounge, Old Mill, UVM, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 863-2345 ext. 8. W OM EN’S DECISIONS LEC TURE: A female economics profes sor analyzes the impact of women’s career and family decisions on the economy. Farrell Room, St. Ed mund’s Hall, St. Michael’s College, Colchester, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535. FIRE SAFETY BUSINESS SEMI NAR: Businesspeople warm to the topic of reducing the risk of fire in the workplace. Green Mountain Coffee Roasters, Waterbury, 1-4 p.m. Free. Register, 800-464-7232. TOASTMASTERS MEETING: Wannabe public speakers develop communication and leadership skills at the Best Western Conference Center, S. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 872-0135. COM ING-OUT SUPPORT GROUP: The community group R.U.1.2? sponsors a bi-weekly ses sion for questioning adults. Peace & Justice Center, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 860-7812.

program of works by Malcolm Arnold, Victor Ewald and Nelson Keyes. Hartman Theatre, Myers Fine Arts Building, Plattsburgh State University, N.Y., 8 p.m. Free. Info, 518-564-2180. WINTER WHINGDING: Dartmouth a cappella groups host “away” ensembles at this harmonic convergence. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 8 p.m. $7. Info, 603-646-2422.

dance ‘RELENTLESS’: See February 8. SWEETHEART BALL: Callers from New England, Quebec, Texas and California make for an unfor gettable weekend of square and round dancing. Sheraton Hotel, S. Burlington, 7:30-11 p.m. Call for admission times and prices. Info, 879-9350.

drama ‘INHERIT THE W IND’: See February 7. ‘O! FREEDOM!’: This musical drama centers on the life of a fugi tive slave who later became a “stationmaster” on the Underground Railroad. Woodstock Town Theatre, 8 p.m. $14. Info, 457-3981. ‘THE MIRACLE WORKER’: This inspiring play centers on the extra ordinary relationship between Helen Keller and her teacher, Annie Sullivan. Pendragon Theatre, Saranac Lake, N.Y., 8 p.m. $15-17. Info, 518-891-1854.

film ‘A TIME FOR DRUNKEN HORSES’: Director Bahman Ghobadi tells the cinematic survival story of a Kurdish family in a remote mountainous area between Iraq and Iran. Catamount Arts, St. Johnsbury, 7 p.m. $6. Info, 748-2600.

Cheryl Wheeler Saturday, February 10th • 7:00 p.m. A stellar performer who’s outrageously funny one moment and heartachingly vulnerable the next. In concert she wraps this gift in her exquisite voice and presents it in a long interwoven stream of lyrics &. music.

Presented by

AFTER DARK M U S I C S E R IE S Tickets: $16 Advance $ 18 Door

The United Methodist Church Corner of Rte. 7 and Seminary St. Middlebury Info: 802-388-0216 www.afterdarkmusicseries.com Tickets available at: Middlebury Inn, Main Street Stationery or P.O. Box 684, Middlebury, VT 05753. This show replaces Dee Carstensen

art music • Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” ‘CARMEN’: The London City Opera stages Bizet’s tragic opera of passion and betrayal. See “to do” list, this issue. The Lane Series pre sents at the Flynn Center, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $20, 38 & 51. Info, 863-5966. GREGORY DOUGLASS. The Burlington singer-songwriter pipes up in support of his latest self-titleddisc, I f I Were a Man. Borders, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. VIOLIN CONCERT: Award-win ning Iceland-born violinist Judith Ingolfsson teams up with pianist Ronald Sat for an all-Brahms evening. See “to do” list, this issue. Middlebury Center for the Arts Concert Hall, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433. TOM BISSON: The “singer-songwriter of wit’and whimsy” entertains book browsers at the Kept Writer Bookshop, St. Albans, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 527-6242. COFFEEHOUSE CONCERT: Folk singer-songwriter Lui Collins plays tunes from her new release, Leaving Fort Knox. Unitarian Universalist Church, Rutland, 7:30 p.m. $8-10. Info, 483-9395. ADIRONDACK BRASS QUIN TET: The fivesome horn in on a

• Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FINE ARTS DESSERT NIGHT: Cake partakers appreciate visual and musical arts, including the South Burlington High School Jazz Ensemble. Frederick Tuttle Middle School Cafeteria, S. Burlington, 79:15 p.m. $8 or $15 per family. Info, 652-7000. EMBOSSING DEMO: Create a card to take home by embossing and stamping your own decorative designs. Gallery Upstairs, Hinesburg, 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. Free. Info, 482-3851.

words MARK STOLER: The UVM histo ry prof discusses and signs his latest, Allies and Adversaries, detailing United States military strategy dur ing World War II. Book Rack, Champlain Mill, Winooski, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 655-0231. VERMONT AUTHORS SERIES: St. Michael’s prof John Engels offers comments on the poetry of Robert Frost to a senior set with the Elder Education Enrichment program. Faith United Methodist Church, S. Burlington, 3 p.m. $5. Info, 863-5980. DEVON JERSILD: The Middle bury author reads from and signs her new non-fiction work on recovery stories, Happy Hours: Alcohol in a Womans Life. Ilsley Library, Middle bury, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 388-2061.

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february 7, 2001

7 p.m. Free. Info, 388-4964. ATHENAEUM AWARDS: Sabra Field and Galway Kinnell are hon ored for lifetime artistic achieve ment at an anniversary of the Athenaeum. See “to do” list, this issue. Ceremony at St. Andrews Church, St. Johnsbury, 7:30, fol lowed by a gala reception at the Athenaeum. $15. 748-8291. BURLINGTON CURRENCY POTLUCK: Feast with friends while you learn more about the buying power of “Burlington Bread.” McClure MultiGenerational Center, Burlington, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 434-8103. GLBTQ SUPPORT GROUP: Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and questioning youth make new friends and get support. Outright Vermont, Burlington, 6:30-9 p.m. Free. Info, 800452-2428. BATTERED WOMEN’S SUP PORT GROUP: Battered Women’s Services and Shelter facili tates a group in Barre, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 223-0855.

Continued from page 3b POETRY SLAM: Dueling wordsmiths have it out on the front lines in a competitive performance event. Blinking Light Gallery, Plainfield, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 426-3558.

kids FAMILY FUN FESTIVAL: Robert Resnik, Barb Kester and Sambatucada combine forces in a family-friendly evening of stories and songs. Wheeler Community School, Burlington, 4-7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 860-4420. ‘MUSIC W ITH ROBERT AND GIGI’: Kids sing songs with Robert Resnik and his fiddle-playing friend Gigi Weisman. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11-11:30 a.m. Free. Register, 865-7216.

sport POWER VOLLEYBALL: Intermediate to advanced players give new meaning to “networking” at a weekly session at the YMCA, Burlington, 2-4 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9622. FULL M OON SNOWSHOE: Hot cocoa comes after a family hike in the winter woods around the VINS North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 7-8 p.m. $4. Info, 229-6206.

10 Saturday music • Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” A CAPPELLA CONCERT: Two a cappella choral groups entertain without intrumentation at Ira Allen Chapel, UVM, Burlington, 8 p.m. $5. Info, 656-3040. MARDI GRAS PARTY: Beads, masks and the music of the Naturals make for a New Orleansstyle celebration of Fat Tuesday. Old Lantern, Charlotte, 8 p.m. $17.50. Info, 425-5196. CHERYL WHEELER: The singersongwriter combines sharp wit with heart-aching lyrics in the After

etc HEALTH CARE DISCUSSION: Sociology prof Beth Mintz concen trates on the role that capital investment plays in health care. John Dewey Lounge, Old Mill, UVM, Burlington, 12:15-1:15 p.m. Free. Info, 656-3181. AFRICAN-AMERICAN DIA LOGUE: Vermonters Francois Clemmons and Paij Wadley Bailey reflect on their life experiences as African-Americans. Vermont Folklife Center, Middlebury,

Main St., Stowe, 9 a.m. - 3 p.m. Free. Call for slot. Info, 253-3961.

Dark Music Series. United Methodist Church, Middlebury, 7 p.m. $16-18. Info, 388-0216. GEOF HEWITT AND CHUCK MEESE: The Calais duo that calls itself “Still Friends” makes the most of music and poetry. Chandler Music Hall Gallery, Randolph, 8 p.m. $6. Info, 728-9133. BARBARY COAST JAZZ ENSEMBLE: Jazz trombonist Jimmy Bosch sits in on a sizzling salsa session. Spaulding Audit orium, Hopkins Center, Dart mouth College, Hanover, N.H., 8 p.m. $14. Info, 603-646-2422.

film ‘A TIME FOR DRUNKEN HORSES’: See February 9, 7 & 9 p.m. BANFF FILM FESTIVAL: Armchair adventurers revel in reel scenes from ski, mountaineering and kayaking expeditions. Billings Theater, UVM, Burlington, 4, 6:30 & 9 p.m. $7.50. Info, 658-3313. ‘ALICE AND MARTIN’: Juliette Binoche and Alexis Loret star in this French film about a young man haunted by his unfortunate upbringing. Loew Auditorium, Hopkins Center* Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 & 9:30 . p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

dance ‘RELENTLESS’: See February 8. SWEETHEART BALL: See February 9, 10 a.m. - midnight. VALENTINE’S LATIN DANCE: Expect live music at this spicy shakedown for Latin lovers. Radisson Hotel, Burlington. Lessons, 7:30 p.m. Dance, 9 p.m. $14. Info, 862-5082. GROUNDHOG BALL: The Queen City Contras raise funds with a daylong celebration of folk music and dance with Maine’s PB and J. Edmunds Middle School, Burlington, 2-11:30 p.m. $12. Info, 658-4651. SACRED CIRCLE DANCE: Celebrate Imbolc and Earth-based spirituality through traditional folk dances. Yoga Vermont Studio, Chace Mill, Burlington, 7:30-9:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 425-6061.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. PAPERMAKING WORKSHOP: Learn to create Valentines, pulp paintings and sculpture with hand made paper. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 1-4 p.m. Donations. Info, 862-2898.

kids

‘INHERIT THE W IND’: See February 7.

PETER PAN: A professional tour ing company presents a musical version of the timeless tale about a spirited boy who refuses to grow old. Paramount Theatre, Rutland, 2 p.m. $7.50-15. Info, 775-0903. BORDERS STORYTIME: Tales of fact and fiction fire up young imaginations at Borders, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711.

‘THE MIRACLE WORKER’: See February 9. ‘NINE’ AUDITIONS: Stowe Theatre Guild is seeking 20 women, five men and four boy sopranos for its summer produc tion. Ackley Memorial Building,

SNOWFEST: Bolton's weekend glorification of the white stuff includes snowmobile, ski, snow board and mountain bike races — all on snow. Bolton Valley Resort, 9 a.m. - 8 p.m. Free for spectators.

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Info, 434-3444. BOARDERFEST: This Pro-Am half pipe and “Boarder X” competi tion is part of the American Skiing Company’s snowboard series. Mount Ellen, Sugarbush Resort, Warren, 7:30 a.m. $30-40. Info, 583-6789. M OUNT MANSFIELD SNOWSHOE: Check out Vermont’s high points on a wintry six-mile trek with the Burlington section of the Green Mountain Club. Meet at the UVM Visiters’ Lot, Burlington, 8 a.m- Free. Register, 863-2433. INTRO TO SNOWSHOEING: Learn techniques to get a kick out of winter while exploring the trails at the Vermont Leadership Center, E. Charleston, 10 a.m. - noon. $7. Register, 334-5566. SNOWSHOE NATURE WALK: A naturalist leads a woodland walk to observe the winter life of plants and animals. Highland Lodge, Greensboro, 2 p.m. $5.50-7.50. Register, 533-2647.

etc DOWSERS GATHERING: Water-finders network, meet new chapter officers and practice their aquatic art. Hauke Center, Champlain College, Burlington, 10 a.m. $4. Info, 985-8770. ‘OWL’ MEETING: The Older Women’s League hosts a health-care talk with Bernie Sanders staffer Dean Corren. S. Burlington High School Library Conference Room, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 658-3652. ‘TEACHING DIVERSITY’ WORKSHOP: Educators of all levels and disciplines are invited to draw on lessons from the life of African-American Vermonter Daisy Turner. Vermont Folklife Center, Middlebury, 9 a.m. - noon. $20. Info, 388-4964. OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS: Addicted to eating? The issue of food abuse is on the table at

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Sunday music • Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” WILLIAM WARFIELD: The acclaimed singer reprises his Grammy-winning narration of Copland’s “A Lincoln Portrait” in a concert that also includes works by Joplin and Bilik. Southwick Recital Hall, UVM, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Ticket required, 656-3085. VERMONT PHILHARMONIC: Louis Kosma conducts the orches tra in a youth concert featuring its cello-playing scholarship winner Indigo Ruth-Davis. Barre Opera House, 4 p.m. $12. Info, 476-8188. CHRIS KLEEMAN: The Fingerpicking guitarist from southern Vermont performs an acoustic set for book browsers at Borders, Church Street. Marketplace, Burlington, 3-5 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. BACH HISTORY TALK: Georg Steinmeyer discusses the religious, cultural and architectural contexts in which the master musician made his mark. Proctor Free Library, 2 p.m. Free. Info, 459-3539. VAUGHAN RECITAL SERIES: The Dan Bruce Jazztet plays a pro gram of classical and original jazz for a fivesome. Faulkner Recital Hall, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 4 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2422.

drama ‘INHERIT THE W IN D ’: See February 7, 5 p.m. ‘NINE’ AUDITIONS: See February 10, 10 a.m. - 2:30 p.m.

film

kids

‘A TIME FOR DRUNKEN HORSES’: See February 9, 1:30 & 7 p.m. BANFF FILM FESTIVAL: See February 10. Lake Placid Center for the Arts, N.Y., 7:30 p.m. $12. Info, 518-523-2512. ‘EMULSION’ CINE-CLUB: A new group for filmmakers and fans gathers to give and take feedback on works-in-progress. Club Metronome, Burlington, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7865. DOUBLE FEATURE: In Run Lola Run, a girl has less than a half hour to sprint through Berlin and save her boyfriend. Raising Arizona is an off-beat comedy featuring Nicolas Cage and Holly Hunter. Burling ton College, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9616. ‘CHILDREN OF PARADISE’: This French film focuses on the Boulevard de Crime, where 19th century Parisian popular theater called class distinctions into ques tion. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

BORDERS STORYTIME: See February 10. TOM CFLAPIN: The family-style entertainer sings tunes from his lat est release, the environmentally conscious This Pretty Planet. See “to do” list, this issue. Flynn Center, Burlington, 2 p.m. $13.50. Info, 863-5966.

art • See exhibit openings in the art listings.

words GAY AND LESBIAN JOUR NALISTS BRUNCH: The National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association puts meet ing on the menu at Mona’s on the Waterfront, Burlington, 11 a.m. Call for price, 388-2735. W RITING GROUP: Share ideas, get feedback and try writing exer cises at the Kept Writer Bookshop, St. Albans, 2 p.m. Free. Info, 527-6242.

sport SNOWFEST: See February 10, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. BOARDERFEST: See February 10.

SNOWSHOE RACE: Snow goers of all ability levels compete in the annual tromp at Blueberry Lake Cross Country Ski Center, Warren, noon. $18-20. Free for spectators. Info, 496-2708. INTRO TO ICE FISHING: Learn the ins and outs of a long time winter sport, including how to use augers, tip-ups, jigs, lures and baits. See “to do” list, this issue. Meet at the Vermont Leadership Center, E. Charleston, 9 a.m. $10. Register, 723-4705. M OUNT MANSFIELD SNOWSHOW: Explore side trails on a moderate three-mile trek with the Burlington section of the Green Mountain Club. Meet in Underhill. Call for directions, 9 a.m. Free. Register, 899-2375. CROSS COUNTRY SKI: The Montpelier section of the Green Mountain Club leads an explo ration of the nordic trails at Greensboro’s Highland Lodge. Meet at the rear parking lot of Montpelier High School, 10:30 a.m. $7. Register, 476-8341.

etc FLEA MARKET: Shoppers indulge in treasure hunting at a low-budget indoor bazaar. American Legion Post 57, Route 7 South, Milton, 9 a.m. - 3 p.m. Free. Info, 893-1738.

kids

12 .

rnonday music • Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” SNO-CORE ICICLE BALL: New Orleans-based funk-jazz sextet Galactic and Les Claypool’s Frog Brigade cut to the core at Mem orial Auditorium, Burlington, 7 p.m. $24.55-27.75. Info, 863-5966. CHAMPLAIN ECHOES: Harmonious women compare notes at a weekly rehearsal of the all-female barbershop chorus. The Pines, Dorset St., S. Burlington, 7:15 p.m. Free. Info, 879-3087. CHORALE REHEARSAL: The Mad River Chorale pipes up in practice at the Waitsfield Elementary School Gym, 6:45 p.m. Free. Info, 496-4781.

film ‘A TIME FOR DRUNKEN HORSES’: See February 9.

art • See exhibit openings in the art listings.

words CLASSICAL GREECE BOOK GROUP: A roundtable of readers explores the foundations of Western thought via Edith Hamilton’s Mythology. KelloggHubbard Library, Montpelier, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 223-3338. COMEDY AND TRAGEDY SERIES: The over-50 set of the Elder Education Enrichment pro gram dissects Twelfth Night and Hamlet in the second of six Shakespearean sessions. Faith United Methodist Church, S. Burlington, 3 p.m. $5. Info, 863-5980.

STORY TIME: See February 7. SCIENCE HOUR: Pint-sized preschoolers and their parents enjoy science stories, live animals and activities. Lake Champlain Science Center, Burlington, 10 a.m. - noon. $3. Info, 864-1848. KIDS CHORALE REHEARSAL: The Mad River Kids Chorale holds open practice at the Waitsfield Elementary School Gym, 5 p.m. Free. Info, 496-4781.

etc LEGISLATIVE BREAKFAST: Lawmakers listen to the public at this hot breakfast sponsored by the Lake Champlain Regional Chamber of Commerce. Sheraton Hotel, S. Burlington, 7:30-9 a.m. $14. Info, 863-3489, ext. 210. AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL MEETING: Anthropology prof Jeanne Shea discusses the cultural roots of China’s notion of human rights. Unitarian Universalist Society, Burlington, 5:30-6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-1358. SPECIAL EDUCATION PANEL: Teachers and taxpayers hear from special ed experts and brainstorm on how to provide services and manage costs. Mount Mansfield Union High School, Jericho, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 899-3324. ‘MAGIC CARPET’ LUN CHEON: Listeners get a - >» lunchtime lift learning about the national parks of Australia. Montshire Museum, Norwich, 11 a.m. $12. Register, 603-643-5713. NETWORKING GROUP: Employee hopefuls get job leads, connections, skills and support. Career Resource Center, Vermont Department of Employment & Training, Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 652-0322.

Continued on page 6b

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Continued from page 5b PUBLIC MEDITATION: Take a step on the path to enlightenment in an environment that instructs beginners and supports practiced sitters. Ratna Shri Tibetan Meditation Center, 12 Hillside Ave., Montpelier, 6-7 p.m. Discussion, 7-8:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 223-5435,

tuesday music

Ronald K. Brown Evidence

• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” GREEN MOUNTAIN CH O RUS: Members of the all-male barbershop chorus compare har monious notes at South Burlington High School, 7-9:30 p.m. Free. Info, 860-6465.

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(Dance Magazine)

At the forefront of contemporary dance, charismatic dancemaker Ron Brown

drama

taps the raw emotional power of both ballet and African-inspired movement.

‘DREAMING THE SISTERS WYRRD’: A multi-media perfor mance combines surrealist paint ings, sculpture, music and a spo ken word operetta in a benefit to send high-school poetry slammers to a national event. Quarry Hill Preschool, Middlebury, 8 p.m. $6. Info, 453-6621 SOAPFLAKES: The improv group follows audience-directed plot twists in a weekly soap operainspired performance. Sandbar Restaurant, South Hero, 7 p.m. $5. Info, 372-4606.

Brown is compared to Alvin Ailey in the vitality of his art and the prowess and magnetism of his dancers. His majestic movers dance to music by Aretha Franklin, James Brown’s JBs, Oumou Sangare, and Fela Kuti. In association with the University o f Vermont"Building Our Community" Initiatives.

W ith .x ld itiu >n<il suj >j tor I fro m

A m e ric a n E x p re ss C o m p a n y

153 Main St., Burlington, VT 802.863.5966

lYMICEMTER You’re cooler than a cucumber.

film ‘A TIME FOR DRUNKEN HORSES’: See February 9.

art

LUNCHTIME GALLERY TALK: Art history prof Robert McGrath offers up a talk entitled “Gods in Granite: The Cultural History of the White Mountains of New Hampshire.” Loew Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 12:30 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2808.

words BOOK DISCUSSION: Readers discuss the Southern roots of Walker Percy’s The Second Coming. Joslin Memorial Library, Waitsfield, 9:30 a.m. Free. Info, 496-4205. BURLINGTON WRITERS GROUP: Bring pencil, paper and the will to be inspired to this writerly gathering at the Daily Planet, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 658-6063.

kids SONG AND STORYTIME: See February 8. ‘MUSIC W ITH ROBERT AND GIGI’: See February 9. ‘SNUG IN THE SNOW’: Preschoolers and their parents learn about nature’s winter blan ket. Green Mountain Audubon Nature Center, Huntington, 2-3 p.m. $3. Register, 434-3068. PRESCHOOL STORYTIME: Walk-in youngsters and their par ents are welcome at a story session at Carpenter Carse Library, Hinesburg, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 482-2878.

etc ‘STEP-UP FOR WOMEN’ ORI ENTATION: See February 7, Highgate Residence Association, 124 Highgate Drive, Barre, 1-3 p.m.

• Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings.

Seven

GRANT WRITING WORK SHOP: The Vermont foundation advises non-profits on crafting appeals to funding organizations. Samara Foundation, 90 Main St., ' Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Register, 860-6236. MIDDLE EAST PEACE TALK: Panelists discuss Middle Eastern prospects for peace in a session sponsored by the BurlingtonBethlehem-Arad Sister City Program. CCTV Community Television, 294 N. Winooski Ave., Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 862-2001. SELF-DEFENSE WORKSHOP: A law enforcement pro points out the plusses of self-protection at Lawrence Barnes School, Burlington, 6-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 658-2704 ext. 220. LEGAL TRAINING: Employers hear about workplace liability issues, including workman’s comp, civil unions and sexual harass ment. Clarion Hotel, S. Burlington, 8:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. $169. Register, 865-6065. ‘BUILDING HEALTHY COM MUNITIES’ SERIES: UVM profs Jonathan Leonard and Thomas Patterson discuss “Moving to Systems Thinking.” Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 3:45-5 p.m. Free. Info, 656-0095. WEEKLY MEDITATION: Learn how focused thought can result in a “calmed center.” Spirit Dancer Books, Burlington, 7-8:30 p.m. Donations. Info,-660-8060. ‘CHOCOLATA’ RITUAL: Pagan community members “worship the ancient Goddess Chocolata” in honor of Valentine’s Day. Unitarian Church, Montpelier, 79 p.m. Free. Info, 229-0112.

Continued on page 9b

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acting

ACTING: FILM A N D STAGE FROM THE G RO UND UP: Tuesdays through April, Williston, evenings. $315. Info, 864-4447. Grace Kiley teaches physical and vocal warm-up, improvisations, acting exercises, mono logue and scene work from plays and films. ACTING AT THE FLYNN: On-going improv and beginning acting classes for adults; semester-long classes for chil dren and teens. Flynn Center, Burlington. Scholarships available. Info, 652-4500. Build a solidfoundation through process and performance experi ences.

aikido AIKIDO OF CHAMPLAIN VALLEY: Adults, Monday through Friday, 5:456:45 p.m. and 7-8:15 p.m. Thursdays, noon - 1 p.m. Saturdays, 9-11:45 a.m. Children, Tuesdays & Thursdays, 4-5 p.m. Aikido of Champlain Valley, 17 E. Allen St., Winooski. $55/month, $120/three months. Info, 654-6999 or www.aikidovt.org. Study this graceful, flowing martial art to develop flexibility, confidence and self-defense skills. AIKIDO OF VERMONT: Ongoing classes Monday through Friday, 6-7 p.m. and 7-8 p.m. Saturday, 9-10:30 a.m. Sunday, 10-11:30 a.m. Above Onion River Co-op, 274 N. Winooski Ave., Burlington. Info, 862-9785. Practice the art o f Aikido in a safe and supportive environment.

art SCULPTURE FOR CHILDREN AGES 6-8: Saturday, February 10, 10 a.m. - noon. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington. $10. Info, 8657166. Try your hand at 3-D construction using wood, clay, cardboard and found objects. INTERMEDIATE PRINTMAKING: Wednesdays, February 28 through March 28, 9:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington. Info, 865-7166. Diane Gabriel helps develop your monotype skills as you incorporate new media into your work. ELDER ART: Tuesdays, through March 27. Drawing, 1-3 p.m. Firehouse Gallery Building, Burlington. $76, includes all materials. Info, 8657166. Watercolors, 9:30-11:30 a.m. O ’Brien Civic Center, S. Burlington. $90, includes all materials. Info and transporation assistance, 879-0685. Call for details on other classes in St. Albans at 524-1519, Bristol at 453-5885 and South Hero at 372-4237. Instructor Mark Montalban organizes a concluding art show. FIGURE DRAWING W ITH LYNN IMPERATORE: Tuesdays, February 20 through March 27, 6-8:30 p.m. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington. Info, 865-7166. Develop drawing skills by studying short and long poses of both nude and clothedfigures. INTERMEDIATE WATERCOLORS WORKSHOP: Saturday, February 24, 10:45 a.m. - 4 p.m. Artists’ Mediums, Williston. Info, 879-1236. Kathy Bergeron helps painters refine techniques and explore new areas o f artistic expres sion. W O M EN’S CREATIVE EXPRES SION ART GROUP: Ten Wednesdays, March 7 through May 16, 9 a.m. noon. Colchester. $185-$275, sliding scale. Info, 862-9037. Carol MacDonald leads this, studio art group designed to support each womans personal exploration o f her creative voice. No experience need ed. Materials supplied. FEBRUARY VACATION CLASS “DRAWING FROM NATURE”: Daily February 26 through March 2,

10 a.m. - noon. Ages 7-11. Shelburne Craft School, Harbor Road, Shelburne. Info, 985-3648. Train your eye to see and your hand to create the intriguing details o f nature. ART EDUCATION TRAINING: Thursdays, March 8 through 29, 68:30 p.m. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington. Info, 8657166. This training for artists and educa tors helps reach young learners through lit erature, drama, movement and other techniques.

autos ANTIQUE AUTOS A N D EARLY MOTORING IN VERMONT: Saturday, February 10, 9 a.m. - 1 p.m. Avery’s Garage, Ferry Road, Charlotte. $40. Register, 865-4422. Learn about Vermont’s early auto-related history and restoration o f antique automobiles through the Community College o f Vermont.

babysitting BABYSITTING COURSE: February 18 & 25; March 18 & 25; April 22 & 29; May 20 & 27, noon - 4:30 p.m. American Red Cross, 29 Mansfield Avenue, Burlington. $25. Register, 6609130. Learn basic first aid and how to respond to emergencies in order to be a better babysitter.

bartending PROFESSIONAL BARTENDING TRAINING: Day, evening and week end courses. Various locations. Info, 888-854-4448 or bartendingschool. com. Get certified to make a mean mar tini, margarita, manhattan or mai tai.

business ‘START U P’: February through May. Women’s Small Business Program, Burlington. $1250, grants available. Info, 846-7160. Learn valuable skills as you write a business plan. MAXIMIZING WORKERS’ POTENTIAL: Saturday, February 10, 9 a.m. - 3 p.m. Community College of Vermont, Burlington. $50. Register, 865-4422. This workshop provides man agers and small-business owners an overview o f the training process, from design through goal-setting and evalua tion. MARKET YOUR SMALL BUSI NESS: Six alternate Wednesdays, start ing February 14, 10-11:30 a.m. Village Cup Coffeehouse, Jericho. $200. Register, 862-3888. Personal and profes sional coach Karen Steward Nolan leads a mind-opening course for service providers and alternative small-business owners. ‘MANAGEMENT 101’: Three Tuesdays, February 20, 27 and March 6, 6-8 p.m. Women’s Small Business Program, Burlington. $100, grants available. Learn the basics o f humanresource management.

coaching LIFE MAKEOVER GROUP: Eight Thursdays, beginning March 1, 7-8:30 p.m. Shelburne. $30/each, $200/eight. Info, 985-2715. Affordable group sessions with professional coach Suzen Larsen King are designed to help you reach your goals.

craft POTTERY & SCULPTURE: Group classes, private lessons and studio rentals for kids and adults, beginning and experienced. Vermont Clay Studio, 2802 Route 100, Waterbury. Info, 2441126 ext..4l. Let yourself experience the pleasures and challenges o f working with , clay — whether you’ve had a lot, just a little, or no pottery experience.

■- i

I 8 6 4 .5 6 8 -

PAINTING CERAMICS: Ongoing classes. Blue Plate Ceramic Cafe, 119 College St., Burlington. Free. Info, 652-

0102. Learn the fundamentals o f paint ing ceramics. KIDS’ CLAY: Saturdays, February 24 through April 2 1 ,1 0 a.m. - noon. Ferrisburgh Artisans Guild. $115, includes materials. Info, 877-3668. Students aged 8-12 learn wheel-throwing and clay-building techniques and later focus on a favorite technique. BEGINNING/INTERMEDIATE THROWING: Wednesdays, February 21 through April 8, 6-9 p.m. Ferrisburgh Artisans Guild. $195, includes materials. Info, 877-3668. Focus on throwing basic pottery shapes and explore surface decoration. CLAY CLASSES: Ongoing classes. Frog Hollow State Craft Center, Burlington, Middlebury and Manchester. Info, 860-7474, 388-3177 or www.froghollow.org. Work with clay in various classes offered throughout the year. CREATIVE HANDMADE BOOKS: Saturday, February 24, 1-4 p.m. Community College of Vermont, Burlington. $50. Register, 865-4422. This course covers the tools and techniques for creating personalized Japanese stab and simple hardcover bindings.

dance VERMONT DANCESPORT ACAD EMY: Dance social, Saturday, February 10, 8-11 p.m. $10. Beginning Latin I, Thursdays, February 8 - March 29, 8-9 p.m. Vermont DanceSport Academy, 208 Colchester Ave., Burlington. $40/four weeks; $80/eight weeks. Info, 846-7236 or www.VermontDance sportAcademy.com. Learn the basics or refine your steps at Burlington’s newest ballroom dance school. TAP CLASSES W ITH KAREN AMIRAULT: Wednesdays, 5:30-7 p.m. McClure Multi-Generational Center, Burlington. Ongoing multi-level classes, $ 15/single, $72/six classes. No class February 21 & 28. Info, 862-0966. Brush up on your tap skills or move to the next level with the choreographer o f Lyric Theater’s fall production o f Singin’ in the Rain.

PRE-VALENTINE’S DAY LATINO DANCE CLASS: Saturday, February 10, 7:30-9 p.m. Radisson Hotel, Burlington. Free. Info, 864-7953. Get hip to Cuban-style salsa, merengue and new bachata dances. CUBAN-STYLE SALSA DANCE CLASSES: Four weeks, beginning February 15. Intro level, 6:30-7:30 p.m. Level I, 7:30-8:30 p.m. Level II, 8:309:30 p.m. Champlain Club, Crowley Street, Burlington. $10/each, $35/four. Register, 864-7953. Learn the salsa basics or the brand-new Cuban rueda patterns and styling.

first aid MIDDLEBURY CPR & FIRST AID: March 3, April 7, May 5 or June 2, 8 a.m. - 5 p.m. 2 Court Street, Middlebury. $30. Info, 660-9130. Middlebury area residents pay less for this day-long Red Cross event that offers instruction in generalfirst aid and CPR.

genealogy GENEALOGY FOR TH E BEGIN NER: Saturday, February 17, 1-4 p.m. Community College of Vermont, Burlington. $30. Info, 865-4422. Get started researching your family’s history with sample worksheets, Internet guides and other helpful resources.

interior design INTERIOR DESIGN FOR BEGIN NERS: Saturday, February 24, 10 a.m. : 1 p.m. Community College of Vermont, Burlington. $30. Register, 865-4422. Learn the key points o f choos ing colors, furniture and other home sta ples from interior designer Jain Doremus.

karate TRADITIONAL JAPANESE KARATE: Ongoing Wednesdays and Fridays, 6-7:30 p.m. 208 Flynn Ave., Burlington. Free. Info, 951-9047 or Kumite46@excite.com. Benefitfrom the physical, mental and spiritual training o f traditional Japanese Shotokan karate.

language

KRIPALU DANSKINETICS: Eight Wednesdays, starting February 21, 6-7

ITALIAN: Group and individual instruction, beginner to advanced, all

p.m. Richmond. Eight Tuesdays, start ing February 27, 6-7 p.m. Burlington. Info, 434-5825. Empowering Arts pre sents this fun combination o f yoga and dance that opens your chakras and awak ens your inner dancer.

ages. Middlebury area. Prices vary. Info, 545-2676. Immerse yourself in Italian to get ready for a trip abroad, or to better enjoy the country’s music, art and cuisine. ESL: Ongoing small group classes, beginners and intermediates. Vermont Adult Learning, Sloan Hall, Fort Ethan Allen, Colchester. Free. Info, 654-8677. Improve your listening speaking, reading and writing skills in English as a second language.

MASTERCLASS WITH RONALD K. BROWN/EVIDENCE: Saturday, February 17, 11 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. UVM Dance Studio. $15. Info, 6524500. Intermediate and advanced stu dents are introduced to a movement vocabulary that fuses Western modem as well as traditional, contemporary and

lifeguarding

social dance forms from the U.S., Senegal and Ivory Coast.

WATER SAFETY INSTRUCTOR COURSES: Tuesday & Thursday evenings, February 6 through March

YMCA DANCE: Ongoing classes for adults, teens and children. YMCA,

29, 6-9 p.m. St. Michael’s College, Colchester. $250. Courses at Racquet’s

College St., Burlington. Info, 8629622. Classes are offered in Latin, swing and youth ballet. “JUST IN TIME” SALSA-

Edge: Lifeguarding, Monday to Friday, May 21-25, 4-10 p.m. Water Safety Instructor, Sundays, March 25 through May 6, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. $225 non

MERENGUE DANCE WORK SHOPS: Saturday, February 3.

members, $200 members. Pre-registra tion required, 660-9130. Get certified for lifeguarding and WSI-required jobs. NATIONAL AQUATIC SCHOOL: Monday to Friday, June 10-15. Brownledge Camp, Colchester. $350, room and board included. Info, 6609130. The American Red Cross monitors courses for lifeguard training, and water safety instruction.

Champlain Club, Crowley Street, Burlington. “Just the Basics,” 1-2 p.m. “Sexy Partnering & Styling,” 2-3 p.m. $15/each or $25/both. Register, 8647953. Learn or refine basic patterns, styling and advanced steps with New York ja zz influences. “JUST IN TIME” ADVANCED BALLROOM DANCE CLASS: Four

applicable martial art:

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’■

TAEKWONDO: Beginning, advanced and children’s classes. Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, 3-8 p.m. " ' 7 Saturday, 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. The Blue Wave TaeKwonDo School, 182 Main Street, Burlington. Prices vary. Info, 658-3359, or info@bluewavetkd.com. Fifth-degree black belt and former nation al team member Gordon W. White teaches the exciting art and Olympic sport o f TaeKwonDo. TAEKWONDO: Mondays & Wednesdays through February 28 and March 5 through April 18. Ages 5-12, 5-6 p.m. Ages 13 & up, 6-7 p.m. ‘ Bristol Recreation Department. $70 per 10-week course. Register, 453-5885.

meditation FULLY LIVING: MINDFULNESSBASED MEDITATION: Eight Thursdays, starting February 8, 5:30-7 p.m. The Sanctuary for Yoga & WellBeing, Shelburne. $245. Info, 9854961. Reduce the negative impact o f stress and mobilize your inner resources to pro mote greater health and well-being. ZEN MEDITATION: Mondays, 4:455:45 p.m. Thursdays, 5:30-6:30 p.m. Burlington. Free. Info, 658-6466. Meditate with a sitting group associated with the Zen Affiliate o f Vermont. MEDITATION: Ongoing Tuesdays, 78:30 p.m. Green Mt. Learning Center, Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. Donations. Info, 6608060. Take part in a weekly meditation and discussion group. ‘TH E WAY OF TH E SUFI’: Tuesdays, 7:30-9 p.m. S. Burlington. Free. Info, 658-2447. This Sufi-style meditation incorporates breath, sound and move ment. MEDITATION: Sundays, 9 a.m. noon. Shambhaia Center, 187 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. Free. Info, 658-6795. Instructors teach non-sectarian and Tibetan Buddhist meditations. G UIDED MEDITATION: Sundays, 10:30 a.m. The Shelburne Athletic Club, Shelburne Commons. Free. Info, 985-2229. Practice guided meditation for relaxation and focus. INSIGHT MEDITATION: Ongoing Sundays, 5-6 p.m. 35 King St., Burlington. Free. Info, 864-7715. Gain greater awareness, breath by breath.

men BURLINGTON M EN’S GROUP: Ongoing Tuesdays, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 434-4830. Area men are invited to join this weekly group for varied discussions and drumming.

money PERSONAL INVESTING SEMI NAR: Saturday, February 17, 2 p.m. Book Rack & Children’s Pages, Champlain Mill, Winooski. Free. Info, 655-0231 or bookrack@together.net. The author o f The 100 Best Stocks You Can Buy, 2001 helps you evaluate equity investments for the short or long term.

music JAZZ CHORUS: Twelve Wednesdays starting January 24, 7-9 p.m. Flynn Center, Burlington. $240. Info, 6524500. Carl Recchia shows students how improvisations and syncopation make ja zz unique. TAIKO: Thursdays starting March 1, 4 p.m. for kids and 5 p.m. for adults. Capital City, Grange, Montpelier. Mondays, 3:30 p.m. for kids, starting March 5, and 5:30 p.m. for adults, starting March 5. 208 Flynn Ave.,

martial arts

weeks, beginning February 7, 8-9:30 p.m. Jazzercize Fitness Center,

KUNG FU: Moy Yat Ving Tsun Kung

Burlington. Prices vary. Info, 658-0658.

Williston. $10/class. Register, 864-

Fu (wing chun). Classes available in

7953. Add to or polish your moves in ele gant, smooth-style ballroom dances.

Waitsfield and Waterbury. Prices vary. Info, 496-4661 or vingtsunvt@yahoo. com. Develop health, fitness and inner strength while learning a practical and

Experience the power o f taiko -style drumming.

fe b ru a ry

2001

Continued on page 8b

SEVEN DAYS

page 7b

DJEMBE: Ongoing Wednesdays, 5:30 p.m. Burlington. $12. Info, 658-0658. Stuart Paton makes instruments available in a djembe drumming class.

photography PHOTOGRAPHY WORKSHOP: February 15 or 22, 6-9 p.m. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington. $25. Info, 865-7166. Linda Bryan helps you create painterly Polaroid image trans fers from your personal slides. PINHOLE PHOTOGRAPHY AGES 13-16: Saturday, February 24, 10 a.m. 3 p.m. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington. $20. Register, 8657166. Dan Higgins helps youngsters build and photograph with a camera they make out o f a box. INSTRUCTION: Classes, workshops and private instruction. Prices vary. Info, 372-3104. Take classes in creative and technical camera and darkroom skills while learning to “see” with a photograph ic eye. PHOTOGRAPHY: Ongoing class. Jon’s Darkroom, Essex Junction. Info, 879-4485. Beginning photographers, or those in need o f a refresher course, take classes in shooting or black-and-white processing. Darkroom is available for rent.

psychology ANXIETY REDUCTION GROUP: Four Wednesdays, February 28 through March 21, 6:40-7:40 p.m. Creamery Offices, Shelburne. Insurance, sliding scale accepted. Info, 985-3315 ext. 3. Rae Anne Barry, Ph.D. and Ginni Stem lead a group discussion to help you com bat anxiety. RELAXATION TH RO UG H STRESS REDUCTION: Four Tuesdays, February 27 through March 20, 2-3 p.m. or 6:30-7:30 p.m. Creamery Offices, Shelburne. Insurance, sliding scale accepted. Info, 985-3315 ext. 3. Learn to use specific strategies and tech niques on your own for peace o f mind, self-esteem enhancement, healing and

a safe way o f being a woman in the world. H O W TO READ PEOPLE: Saturday,

L. Hay, a metaphysical teacher and best selling author. HEALING CIRCLE: Tuesday,

February 10, 9 a.m. - 3 p.m. Community College o f Vermont, Burlington. $40. Register, 865-4422. Jack Palm offers guidance on deciphering verbal and non-verbal clues and develop ing a range o f communication strategies. COUPLES THERAPY GROUP: Thursdays starting February 15, 7-8:30 p.m. Possibilities Counseling Center, 255 Pearl St., Essex Jet. $20/group. Pre registration required. Info, 878-6378. A professional counseling couple hosts weekly therapeutic group sessions. DEALING W ITH DEPRESSION: Eight Wednesdays through February 21, 7-9 p.m. 119 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington, $15 per class. Info, 6585888. Develop creativity, community and the "courage to change” while you “blow your winter blues. ” WEIGHT LOSS AND YOUR SUB CONSCIOUS MIND: Eigi.f-week classes starting February 21, 1 a.m. - 1 p.m. or 7-9 p.m. Rising Sun, 35 King Street, Burlington. $120. Register, 8607286. Learn self-hypnosis and other tools to help bring your subconscious mind into alignment with your goals. WAYS TO LIVE W HEN A LOVED ONE HAS DIED: Friday, March 16, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Creamery Offices, Shelburne. Insurance, sliding scale

February 13, 7:15-9 p.m. Body Mind Connection, 119 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. $8. Info, 658-5888. Guided visualization, Reiki, crystals and music promote healing in a small group.

accepted. Info, 985-3315 ext. 3. This one-day grief workshop will utilize the teachings o f Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, Stephen Levine and others to learn how to speak about grief and sadness and to seek support.

reiki REIKI CLINIC: Thursday, February 8, 6:30-9 p.m. Pathways to Well-Being, Burlington. Free. Register, 657-2567. Experience gentle relaxation therapy for stress and pain relief.

self-defense

clarity. CO-DEPENDENCY: Now forming a group not affiliated with Al-Anon. Wednesdays, 7-8:30 p.m. Possibilities Counseling Center, Essex Junction. $10 per group session. Info, 878-6378. Sessions are aimed at helping people become free from pain due to co-depen dency. HEALING FROM SEXUAL ABUSE:

BRAZILIAN JIU-JITSU A N D CARDIOBOXING: Ongoing classes Monday through Saturday for men, women and children. Vermont Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Academy, 4 Howard St., Burlington. Prices vary. Info, 6604072. Escape fear with an integrated selfdefense system based on technique, not size, strength or speed.

spirit

Four Wednesdays, February 28 through March 21, 7:30-8:30 p.m. Creamery Offices, Shelburne. Insurance, sliding scale accepted. Info, 985-3315 ext. 3. Learn the behaviors that are identified as sexual abuse; break the silence and create

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LOVE YOURSELF, HEAL YOUR LIFE WORKSHOP: Saturday, February 10, 9:30 a.m. - 2 p.m. Unity Church, Lincoln Street, Essex Junction. $20. Info, 655-1958. This is a gentle workshop based on the philosphy o f Louise

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sport SPINNING: Ongoing daily classes. Chain Reaction, One Lawson Lane, Burlington. First ride free. Info, 6573228. Pedal your way to fitness in a diverse, non-competitive environment.

substance abuse SUBSTANCE ABUSE TREAT MENT: Weekend program. Possibilities Counseling Center, Essex Jet. Info, 878-6378. Working professionals get nonresidential, affordable treatment in a pri vate setting.

support groups OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS: Daily meetings in various locations. Free. Info, 863-2655. Overeaters get sup port in addressing their problem. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: Daily meetings in various locations. , Free. Info, 860-8382. Want to overcome a drinking problem? Take the first step — o f 12 — and join a group in your area. AL-ANON: Ongoing Wednesdays, 8 p.m. First Congregational Church, N. Winooski Ave., Burlington. Free. Info, 655-6512. Do you have a friend or rela tive with an alcohol problem? Alcoholics Anonymous can help. AD DISON COUNTY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: Various locations. Free. Info, 388-4205. Support groups benefit women who are survivors of sexual assault, and groups for women who have experienced physical or emotional abuse. NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: Ongoing daily groups. Various loca tions in Burlington, S. Burlington and Plattsburgh. Free. Info, 862-4516. I f you’re ready to stop using drugs, this group o f recovering addicts can offer inspiration. PARENTS OF SUBSTANCE-ABUS ING TEENS: Mondays starting February 12, 7-8:30 p.m. Possibilities Counseling Center, 255 Pearl St., Essex Jet. $20/group. Info, 878-6378. Parents come together for support in a therapeutic group environment facilitated by two pro fessional substance-abuse counselors.

SUPPORT GROUP FOR PART NERS OF INCEST SURVIVORS: Ongoing peer support group, confiden tiality assured. Various locations, FREE? Info, 655-4907. Partners o f incest survivors share struggles and success es with peers. PSYCHIATRIC SUPPORT GROUP: Thursdays, 7 p.m. Various Burlington locations. Free. Info, 288-1006. Get peer support for depression, anxiety or other psychiatric illness. SEX AN D LOVE ADDICTS ANONYMOUS: Sundays, 7 p.m. Free. Info, write to P.O. Box 5843, Burlington, 05402. Get help through this weekly 12-step program. ‘THE HEALING JOURNEY’: A free, confidential 10-week support group sponsored by Women Helping Battered Women. Info, 863-1236. The Healing Journey welcomes all survivors o f sexual violence regardless o f when the assault happened.

voice YOUR SINGING VOICE, A CRE ATIVE APPROACH: Saturday, February 17, 12:30-5 p.m. Flynn Center, Burlington. Info, 652-4500. $45. Jody Albright leads a class designed to express musical creativity while expanding vocal potential. Knowledge o f music theory is not a pre-requisite. BURLINGTON COM MUNITY CHOIR: Wednesdays through May 9, 7-8:30 p.m. Lower Level Room 7, Community College of Vermont, Burlington. $45. Info, 865-4422. Creative director Jody Albright leads singers in gospel, folk, pop, jazz, classics and theater favorites. Beginners and “shower singers” welcome. No auditions required.

writing

live in the present can dramatically influ ence our health, relationships and the ability to enjoy life.

yoga HATHA YOGA: Ongoing winter class es, drop-ins welcome. Burlington, Hunt Middle School, Tuesdays, 6:30-7:45 p.m. South Hero, Mondays, 6:30-7:45 p.m. Pre-register, 655-6787. A certified instructor helps you unite spirit, mind and body with a gentle, traditional approach. ‘BECOMING PEACE YOGA’: Ongoing classes. Essex Jet. Info, 8785299. Release chronic tension, gain selfawareness and honor your inner wisdom through Kripalu-style yoga study. U N IO N STREET STUDIO: Ongoing daily classes for all levels. 306 South Union St., Burlington. Info, 860-3991, Three certified instructors offer classes in a variety o f yoga styles that promote strength and tranquility. BEECHER HILL YOGA: Ongoing daytime & evening classes for all levels. Info, 482-3191 or hillyoga@sover.net. Get private or group instruction in prena tal yoga, integrative yoga therapy or gentle yoga for recovery and rehabilitation. YOGA VERMONT: Daily classes, noon, 5:30 and 7:30 p.m. Saturday and Sunday, 9:30 a.m. Chace Mill, Burlington. Info, 660-9718 or yogavermont.com. Ashtanga-style “power”yoga classes offer sweaty fun for all levels o f experience. YOGA FOR REJUVENATION: Sixweek sessions for beginners and inter mediates, beginning February 19. Mondays, 3:30-4:45 p.m. & 5:15-6:30 p.m.; Tuesdays for beginners, 11 a.m. 12:15 p.m.; Wednesdays, 8:30-9:45 a.m.; Thursdays, 3:30-4:45 p.m. The Sanctuary for Yoga & Well-Being, Shelburne. Info, 985-4961.

KEEP WRITING: Monday, February 12, 5:50-9:30 p.m., Community College of Vermont, Burlington. $40. Register, 865-4422. This workshop moti vates writers to fin d mentors, markets, support groups and the strength to learn from rejections.

women CHANGE H O W YOU SEE, NO T H OW YOU LOOK: Six Tuesdays starting February 13, 7:15-9:15 p.m. Burlington. $150. Info, 658-5313. Workshops for women teach that “from self-love flows all the goodness o f the uni verse. ” THE MAGIC OF LIVING IN TH E MOMENT: Winter group meeting Wednesdays, 11 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. The Sanctuary for Yoga & Well-Being, Shelburne. Info, 985-4961. Learning to

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february 7, 2001

30 Main Street Burlington

8 6 3 -1 2 0 0 M-F 8:30-5:30

Calendar

febryarv 7-14

B! IT S FUNNIER THAN EVER!

The Lanes Series presents the early music ensemble in a pro gram titled, “Renaissance in Provence: Traditional Music from Southern France.” UVM Recital Hall, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $18. Info, 656-3085.

continued from page 6b FATHERS AND CHILDREN GROUP: Dads and kids spend

quality time together during a weekly meeting at the Wheeler Community School, Burlington, 5-7 p.m. Free. Info, 860-4420. . BASIC MEDITATION:

‘FROM THE HEART’ D IN NER CONCERT: Former

Cherokee and Tibetan Buddhist practices help renew the body and spirit. Ratna Shri Tibetan Meditation Center, 12 Hillside Ave., Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 223-5435.

October Project member Marina Belica entertains eaters to benefit ovarian cancer research. Joslyn Round Barn, Waitsfield, 6-10 p.m. $50, $26 for dessert and concert only. Info, 496-3409.

A T THE 6 0 BATTERY STREET BURLINGTON

FRIDAY/ FEBRUARY 9TH AT 9 PM SATURDAY/ FEBRUARY 10TH AT 8 PM & 10 PM

JOE MILLER

(HIPS (OONEY

VAUGHAN RECITAL SERIES:

Argentine guitarist Claudio Almens goes solo on contempo rary pieces. Faulkner Recital Hall, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 12:30 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2422.

Wednesday valentine’s day

music

dance

• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.”

‘INFORMAL SHOW ING’ SERIES: Students, faculty and

FARMERS’ NIGHT CO N CERT: See February 7. The

Hunting Fenced Wildlife Fair Game?

guest artists invite feedback on works in progress. Dance Theatre, Middlebury Center for the Arts, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433.

Vermont Symphony Orchestra entertains tonight with sweet and sexy selections. TERRA NOVA CONSORT:

Come

C A LL <558-6500 F O R R ES ER V A TIO N S !

Attend a pane! discussion on “canned hunts” and find out about the ecological, legal, pathogenic and ethical issues.

Continued on page 10b

February 15th 7:00 - 9:00 pm

to t he I s l a n d s

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N C E N T E R .O R G

ORDER TICKETS O N LINE AT W W

LUNCHTIME LECTURE: The

drama ‘INHERIT THE W IN D ’: See

February 7. ‘THE VAGINA M O NO LOGUES’: Eve Ensler’s Obie-win-

ning play is a humorous and poignant look at how women relate to the world and to their bodies. CC Theater, Billings, UVM, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $68. Info, 656-8637.

film ‘A TIME FOR DRUNKEN HORSES’: See February 9. ‘NATURE OF FAME’ DOUBLE FEATURE: Frank Capra tells the

A Special Family Matinee Performance!

cinematic story of a mysterious man who becomes spokesman for a goodwill political campaign in

Tom Chapin

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(New York Times)

Folksinger Tom Chapin charms audiences of all ages with songs inspired by his heroes, Pete Seeger and Woody Guthrie. Called “the best family artist around” by Billboard, Chapin has won widespread critical acclaim with seven delightful albums, each an instant family classic. Join this modern-day Pied Piper and his

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• Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: See February 7.

and

Hear Tom Chapin NOW at the Flyn n /E S0 2 IE I Listening Post

guest curators of the current exhib it on Burlington landscape artist Charles Louis Heyde comment on his “rediscovery.” Fleming Museum, UVM, Burlington, 12:15 p.m. Free. Info, 656-0750.

kids ‘TINY TOTS’ STORY TIME:

See February 7.

training — as well as ways to sur vive them. Childcare is available at Brook Street School, Barre, 6-8 p.m. $5. Info, 828-8779. LEARNING AND LUNCH SERIES: Charles de Burlo discuss

es how children create their own environments in an adult world. UVM Montpelier Regional Center, City Center, noon - 1 p.m. Free. Info, 800-870-0388. ®

STORY TIME: See February 7. STORY AND CRAFT TIME:

See February 7.

etc

Calendar is written by Alice Christian.

BATTERED W OM EN’S SUPPORT GROUP: See February 7. HEALTH LECTURE: See

Classes

and enjoy special treats including mini-massages, sweet treats and harp music. American Red Cross Donor Center, Burlington, 10 a.m. —7 p.m. Free. Info, 658-6400. FIBROMYALGIA TALK: Dr. Timothy Farrell demonstrates hands-on techniques to treat painful symptoms without drugs. Racquets’ Edge, Essex, 7:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Register, 899-9991.

writing on the Thursday before publica

tion. SEVEN DAYS edits for space and

‘TODDLERS AND TW OS’:

style. Send to: SEVEN DAYS, P.0. Box

1164, Burlington, VT 05402-1164. Or

fax8 0 2 - 8 6 5 - 1 0 1 5 .

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compiled

VALENTINE’S DAY BLOOD DRIVE: Make a date to save a life

Church St. Marketplace, Burlington

are

February 8 - 1 4 . ARIES (Mar. 21-Apr. 19): I like

QUARIUS (Jan. 20-

to fantasize about my ideal world. I

eb. 18): I hope that as long as

dream o f people being rewarded

ou live you never lose the

financially in direct proportion to how much beauty they create. I envi sion convenience stores that sell sacred books and wise elders who sit around out front dispensing jocular oracles. I think o f what it would be like to belong to a tribe o f spiritual

capacity to fall in love. On the years later by a major publishing

giving you a sneak preview o f what

house to write the ultimate astrology

your life will be like in five years if

dances. W hat about you, Aries? I’m hoping you’ll read this testimony and be inspired to conjure up a burst o f your own fresh, hot fantasies. Its the perfect astrological m om ent to heal yourself by liberating your joyous imagination.

you continue to follow the path you’re on now. From my perspective,

SAGITTARIUS

you from crazy, cockeyed angles. Like

the imminent adventures constitute a

22-D ec. 21): Oddly enough, the

now, for you, Gemini.

friendly reminder from the cosmos

planetary omens suggest it’s an excel

always keep expanding your reper

that it’s high time to wash your own

lent time to launch a career as a per

brain. But however you choose to

formance artist. If you’re game, I sug

with. In that spirit, let’s see if in the

If this were a N ew Age astrology col

define this bracing wake-up call, don’t

gest that you smear yourself with

next couple o f weeks we can get you

umn, I’d take you on a guided medi

let any o f your preconceptions stop

chocolate syrup, take yourself hostage

to be swept away not by a cute mem

tation into your past lives. To m oti

you from having a howlingly good

in a luxurious sanctuary, and issue a

ber o f your favorite gender but by a

vate you to set aside your skepticism,

time. (Hope your howling muscles

list o f demands. Here are a few to get

surprising teaching, magical place,

you started: 1. Anyone who claims

provocative work o f art or future

they are smitten by you has to prove

masterpiece that you could create.

I’d perhaps flatter you with intima

all, a tree will never leave you out on a limb. It won’t bark at you for your faults or become impatient with how

saint or a famous artist. But since this

LIBRA (Sept. 23-O ct. 22): Did

is actually a certifiably intellectual,

you or did you not get a veiled invita

ment for a little while longer, Taurus. Give human romance another chance. I predict that events in 2001 will rejuvenate the innocence o f your attractions to two-legged, hot-blood ed creatures. Get ready to see an omen to that effect this week.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): W hen I was m opping floors at the Town Hall nightclub in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, many years ago, I never dreamed I’d someday be sitting

with French poetry in college and took on the esoteric pseudonym o f “Rambo Rimbaud,” I couldn’t have predicted I’d be approached many

hour-long “Ritual o f Adoration.” 2.

PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20):

tion to sample a forbidden fruit last

Anyone from your past who claims

Major League baseball player (and

October or November? Were you or

they want to become part o f your

Piscean) Dock Ellis pitched one o f

yourself on a guided meditation into

were you not all set to take a bite

future must prove their sincerity by

the ways your past is impacting your

when the offer was withdrawn? And

paying their debts to you or forgiving

on LSD. It’s a long story how it came

present. I’ll also let you know that the

haven’t you just about given up on it

your debts to them. 3. Anyone who

about, but on June 12, 1970, after

Old You has risen from the dead in

by now? But won’t you be surprised

wants you to be more like them must

having ingested a tab o f acid, he

order to provide the N ew You with

when the delicious temptation

first pledge to be more like you.

hurled a no-hitter fof‘the Pittsburgh

some good advice and ask the N ew

returns sometime soon? And won’t you be perplexed at how different the

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-

And why am I telling you this? Am I

flavor and texture o f the fruit is when

Jan. 19): I have an astrologically

suggesting that you get stoned in

you finally sink your teeth into it?

inspired hunch that you will soon get

order to court a breakthrough in your

You for several favors.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Venus, the

Pirates against the San Diego Padres.

planet that rules emotional affinities,

And won’t you be smart if you

an answer to one o f your most

life’s work? N o, o f course not. O nly

will be cruising through your astro

instantly shed your former expecta tions?

embarrassing questions. Luckily, my

you know what specific kind o f radi

logical House o f Goose Bumps for an unusually long time. As a result, your

astrological analysis tells me that the

cal departure or divine intervention

answer won’t embarrass you anywhere

you should seek to achieve that. But

near what you feared it would. In

achieve it you should. @

intimacy is likely to take on a rather

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov.

rambunctious quality. Between now

21): Many o f you Scorpios harbor

fact, I’m betting this long-lost clue

and early June, adventures in collabo

your own personal version o f cata

will inspire you to prove once and for

ration will invite you out to the fron

strophe theory. You seem to feel that

all that the forces o f light are stronger

tiers o f your understanding. If you’re

no progress is possible without peri

in you than the forces o f darkness,

brave and humble enough to experi

odic nerve-frying crises. “N o pain, no

bad timing and unscratchable itchi

You can call Rob Brozsny, day or night for your

ment with new models o f relation

gain” is not just your mantra; it’s the

ness combined. And that in turn will

ship, you’ll learn more about love

absolute truth at the core o f your

embolden you to ask yet another,

than you ever thought possible.

belief system. But I am sensing that

even more deeply embarrassing ques

expanded weekly horoscope

you’re at a crossroads in your relation

tion. And another. And another.

ship with this bugaboo. The teaching

Until there are no more embarrassing

could think o f this week as a kind o f

power o f pure joy is welling up in

questions left.

psychological boot camp designed to

you. It could soon spill over into a

boost your emotional intelligence. Or

pleasurable transformation rivaling

you could imagine that the gods are

even the best lessons that have come

here lecturing you about pumping up your ambition. W hen I fell in love

their love by carrying out a three-

the best games in history while high

slowly you might be growing. But my advice is to hold off on this experi

are in good shape.)

tions that you were once a queen or a

scientifically formulated horoscope, I

mate relationship with a tree? After

parade o f fresh hotties. So I hope, too, that as you grow older you

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

will instead encourage you to lead

about love that you’d consider an inti

(Nov.

toire o f what you’re able to fall in love

W ould you ever convert to arborsexutures with people made you so cynical

on your integrity if you were continu ally infatuated with a never-ending

show you that success often comes at

TAURUS (Apr. 20-M ay 20): ality? Have your amorous misadven

other hand, it would be a real drain

cookbook for pets. It just goes to

laughaholics whose prayers were expressed in the form o f goofy

your way through torment and disas ter.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You

9 0 0 - 9 0 3 -2 5 0 0 $1-99 p a r minute. 18 and over. Touchtone phone.

C/S S I 2 /3 7 3 -9 7 8 5 And don’t fo rg e t to check out Rob’s Web s ite at unuwr.freeurlllastrology.com Updated Tuesday night.

la s t w e e k ’s a n s w e rs on p ag e 9b

ACROSS 1 News bit 5 Billboard 9 Request an encore 13 Flying Pan? 18 Praise pas sionately 19 Singer Guthrie 20 Top-notch 21 Pit 22 It Up” (73 hit) 23 A roaring success? 24 Nary a soul 25 Actress Andress 26 Start of a remark by Laurence J. Peter 30 Unfashion able 31 Castilian cry 32 and shine!” 33 Part 2 of remark 37 “Golden Girl" McClanahan 38 Read quickly 40 Spellbound 44 Generation 45 McGregor of “Trainspotting" 47 Company 49 Hot off the press 50 Mirth

52 Tennis legend 53 Kanga’s creator 54 Grafter’s need 56 Anderson’s “Tea and —’ 58 Shucks 59 “Beagle” passenger 60 — Spumante 61 Lout 62 “State Fair” state 64 Etta of the comics 65 Commer cials 68 Part 3 of remark 72 Actor Fernando 73 Learning method 75 Grant or Elwes 76 Youngster 77 Emulated Pinocchio 79 Winter wear 81 Milo of “Ulysses" 83 Malamutes and huskies 87 Poe crow 88 More owlish 89 Coat material 90 Singer Amos 91 Relished the rigatoni

92 Ullman or Gold 94 Flicka’s foot 95 Chum 96 Harper of "Tender Mercies” 98 Adequate 99 Under standing 100 Part 4 of remark 104 Lug 106 Actress Zadora 107 TV’s “Have — Will Travel” 108 End of remark 117 Infantry action 118 Cheeseboard choice 119 Landed 120 Bearing 122 Like Com Belt soil 123 Congenial 124 — list 125 Beige 126 T he Threepenny Opera" star 127 Antlered animal 128 Out-of-thisworld org. 129 Meat cut DOWN 1 April initials 2 “Cheerio!”

3 Sinister 4 Wine variety 5 Greet the general 6 Rainbow goddess 7 Whippedcream serving 8 Hendryx or Gaye 9 Wicked thing? 10 At large 11 — May Wong 12 Jury member 13 Knitting stitches 14 Less demanding 15 Part of Micronesia 16 Colleague of 101 Down 17 Rug type 21 Like a Vermont village 27 “What?” 28 It may be common 29 Rub out 33 Packs groceries 34 T he — Dachshund” (’66 film) 35 Swarm (with)

36 New York university 37 — Dawn Chong 38 Made mucky 39 Faultfinder 41 Response 42 Clothing category 43 Jacksonian bill 46 Kid’s query 47 Hodges of baseball 48 Loser’s locale 51 Antipoilution grp. 52 Storm 53 Winter wear 55 Joan Van — 57 Lava particles 58 “Bali —’ 59 7 3 Elton John hit 61 Ancient epic 63 Prosperous 65 Genesis peak 66 Contribute 67 Ranges 69 Beethoven symphony 70 Air safety org. 71 Nugent or Knight 74 Poetic preposition 78 Banned pesticide

80 Picnic pest 82 “Yo!” 83 — Canals 84 Klutz's cry 85 Mardi — 86 Farm feature 88 Rouse 89 Finished first 93 Act like the Earth 94 “— Wave” (’63 hit) 97 Comic Kaye 99 Trees" poet 101 Author Christie 102 Word with fruit or Stanley 103 Crown covering 105 Florida city 106 Locale 108 Knight time 109 Muscat’s nation 110 Be inclined 111 Magnus or McClurg 112 “Laugh-In* name 113 Literary pseudonym 114 Pine for 115 Puerto — 116 Garrof “Mr. Mom” 117 “Silent” president 121 Sister

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Illustrator and Photoshop fluent. Freelance to start, possible full-time with benefits. Please send resume and samples in pdf format via e-mail to khem@b2b-hive.com or regular mail: B2B-Hive, Suite 100, One Lawson Lane, Burlington VT 05401

B2B*xnri

Technical Support — Full-time position support ing software developed by Ivy. Extensive knowledge of Windows and the use of PC software a must. Must communicate comfortably with customers, in everything from answering basic questions to explaining elaborate steps, while keeping customers at ease. Above all, you must work and play well with others! Send resume to: Ivy C om puter Inc. 93 Pilgrim Park Road, Suite 2 Waterbury,VT 05676-1728 Also see: www.lvycomputer.com

Designer: Graphic/Web/Desktop Publishing Lang Associates, Vermont’s leading real estate firm, is seeking an energetic and creative individual to join its marketing team. Responsible for marketing materials, internal and external, print and Web based. Candidates must be organized, responsible, PC savvy and have experience working with Photoshop and PageMaker programs. Position available immediately.

Charter Communications, the nation’s fourth largest multiple system cable television operator with 6.3 million subscribers, is currently seeking qualified professionals for the following FULL TIME position:

Danville, V T Based

GROUP DIRECTOR OPERATIONS 1 The successful applicant will be responsible for direct ing operations for the group, including meeting rev enue objectives & maintaining positive customer/community relations. Will also be responsible for develop ing the systems’ annual operating & capital budgets, ensuring adequate management & staff training and adherence to all operations polices, acting as a liaison with community organizations & subscribers and involvement in franchising activities. To be considered for this opportunity, you must hold a Bachelor’s degree in business or related field or equiv alent experience and have 3 years cable system oper ation management experience. In addition, you must be a clear communicator, able to prioritize & organize effectively and supervise & motivate others. Knowledge of PC & software applications, local politics and cable television products & services is also preferred. We offer competitive salaries and excellent benefits, including free cable T V service. Please send cover letter & resume to:

Angela Bitler CHARTER COMMUNICATIONS 1 Telecom Way Danville, VT 05828 Fax: (802) 748-3973 E-mail: ABitler@chartercom.com

Email resume, references and salary requirements to: leslied@langrealestate.com or via mail to: Leslie Davis, Marketing Director,Lang Associates, 550 Hinesburg

w w w .c h a r te r c o m .c o m

page 12b

SEVEN DAYS

february 7, 2001

L I GHT I NG + GRI P FILM-VIDEO-THEATRE-EVENTS R E N T A L S-f-S A L E S

Road, South Burlington, VT 05403

www.langrealestate.com .............. ■ ___

ARE YOU BORED WITH YOUR JOB?

Contact Betsey Lord at 802-655-4777 or 800-475-8574.

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A FAST-PACED, ENERGETIC AND REWARDING WORK ENVIRONMENT? NORTHLANDS JOB CORPS IS THE PLACE FOR YOU!

MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN LIVES OF TODAY'S YOUTH! Northlands Job Corps Center is a residential vocational training program serving youth ages 16-24 throughout New England. As a member of Northlands’ staff you would be helping disadvantaged young people break the cycle of poverty by preparing them for gainful, entry-level employment. We offer great benefits and generous compensation packageslFor more information about us check out our Web site at www.careersystems.com

Northlands is presently seeking candidates for the following positions:

Residential Advisor Security Officers Substitute Instructors For m ore information call (802) 877-2922 ext 209 o r email us at novakr@jcdc.jobcorps.org

We are proud to be a drug-free workplace. EOE

HIGH OUTPUT

Full-time position in our Colchester (Fort Ethan Allen) location. Primary duties include UPS shipping/receiving, prep and restore of rental equip ment, and counter sales. Knowledge of technical theatre and basic elec tronics a plus, but we'll train the right individual Friendly, casual, but fast paced environment. Salary (negotiable) plus

nds Job C o rp sIC SD is an equal opportunity employer

Customer Service Representatives: These permanent part-time positions include telephone and in person w indow ticket sales. Strong interpersonal skills required as w ell as accuracy and speed in data entry. Daytime, evening and w eekend hours. To apply, m ail a letter and resume, or com plete an application in the administrative offices o f the Flynn Theatre, 153 Main Street, Burlington, V T 05401. No phone calls please. EOE.

Bread Baker Spectrum Youth & Family Services Residential Program Staff Full, part-time, and respite positions available providing overnight supervision and support to teens and young adults. Send resumes to EB at SY&FS, 31 Elmwood Ave., Burlington 05401

Program Case Manager Provide case management support and direct service to teens living in an independent living group house. Work as part of a team with direct support staff. Sense of humor and ability to have fun required. BSW plus two years experience working with adolescents or MS W preferred.

NORTHEASTERN FAMILY INSTITUTE NFI, an expanding statewide mental health treatment system for children, adolescents and families, is seeking to fill the following positions: V

Residential Counselors Seeking Residential Counselors to work at our Residential Programs. Work with a talented team in a fast-paced environment. Experience working with children with emotional and behavioral challenges desired. Full-time, benefited, competitive salary.

Awake Overnight Counselors NFI is seeking benefited Awake Overnight Counselors for its Residential Programs. Experience working with children and adolescents desired. Full time, benefited, competitive salary.

J jjin d

F a m ily C e n te r

Development Assistant — Part-time Flexible daytime hours (20 hrs/wk) providing administrative support for fundraising and public relations activities at busy non-profit. Looking for professional office and computer skills, initiative, accuracy, attention to detail, and passion for the organization's work with children and families. Experience with data bases, mass mailings, special events, and working with volunteers is helpful. Please submit your resume by Feb. 14 to: Development Director Lund Family Center P.0 . Box 4009 Burlington, VT 05406. MEMBERS OF DIVERSE ETHNIC AND CULTURAL GROUPS ARE ENCOURAGED TO APPLY.

Respite Counselors NFI also needs Respite Counselors to work closely with the staff and directly with clients on an "as needed basis" (often up to 35 hours a week are available). They will be taught exceptional skills in working with teenagers.

Clerical/Client Work

please call Jeff Mann at 879-4594 x610.

office skills, 40 w.p.m., ability to juggle multi ple tasks & environments. Evenings required. Knowledge of criminal justice system and

Send resumes to SJ at SY&FS, 31 Elmwood Ave., Burlington 05401

area non-profits helpful. Send letter and resume to:

ads & colla te ra l in a fast-paced, fu n e n viro n m e n t. M ust 'feta

have a college degree, 2 years'

u , p * 51

experience w ith M ac-based p ro g ra m s

such as Quark®, Illustrator® and

&. women for this FT

candidate will be experienced, interest ed in being their own boss 8 c motivated to build upon an established clientele. Send a letter “ in

Burlington, VT 05402-1526

Fort Tresses Salon 75 Hegeman Ave.

By February 27,2001

Colchester, VT 05446

Rewarding, full and part time positions in our organization are

HIP MAILORDER COMPANY

now available. We are a private, non-profit that was founded in

seeks experienced manager

1967 by local families. CVS is committed to providing inclu sive community opportunities by enhancing self-esteem, maxi

to oversee Burlington-based

Cham plain Vocational Services, Inc.

ising te a m . Create

Fort Tresses Salon is now interviewing men

Guidry’s attention at:

P.O.Box 1526

be a p a rt o f

Stylist

confidence” to Kat

Director, Court Diversion

Designer to

Hair

position. The ideal

Entry level position for person with excellent If you are interested in any of the above positions,

We are looking fo r a self-m oti vated, creative person to fill our bread baking position. The bak ery produces a variety o f hearthbaked, hand-rolled, sourdough breads fo r wholesale and retail. Scheduling is fairly flexible. Train under a baker w ith 20 years o f artisan bread baking experience. This would be the , ideal position for someone who either has extensive bread bak ing experience or some experi ence w ith a real passion to learn and advance. This posi tion w ill develop into the head baker position in a short time. Creativity and individuality are encouraged. Please fax your resume or call Tom @ (802 ) 453-4890 . tig) dem ents, net

call center and fulfillment

mizing independence, and supporting personal fulfillment.

operation. The ideal

Existing positions include day and residential support staff,

candidate is a mac savvy

contracted work with individuals and their families, profes sional roommates and home providers and case management

business skills and extensive

people person with strong

staff. Full and part time positions include Medical, Dental, Life, Disability insurances, accrued leave, and begin at $8/hour.

mail order experience.

Contracted positions are based on need and availability. H om e

environment, competitive

provider compensation is by a generous tax-exempt stipend. Please call Cartwright or Laura at 655-0511 for more informa tion or an application. Send letters o f interest and/or resumes to:

We offer a cool work salary & benefits, and excellent perks. Fax resume to ( 8 0 2 ) 6 5 1 -4 0 0 4

Laura Chabot, CVS, 77 Hegeman Ave., Colchester, VT 05446. EOE

Photoshop®, along w ith a fa m ilia rity w ith th e processes o f 4-color p rin tin g . F le xib ility, great im a g in a tio n , and a love o f skiing and s n o w b o a rd in g essential. C o p y w ritin g , illu s tra tio n , and w e b design skills a plus. S u b m it resum e & p o rtfo lio sam ples to: H um an Resources a ttn / C. M itiguy. 4763 K illin g to n R o a ^ j K illin g to n V T l f e f i f *'1

Campaign Associate Part-time Professional Position Multi-talented individual with excellent communication skills to develop, manage and coordinate fund developm ent activities in assigned areas o f the annual Community Care Fund Campaign. Responsibilities include campaign planning, goal setting and data analysis. Bachelor’s degree required. Fundraising and volunteer management experience helpful. Team player with com puter literacy, problem solving skills and an ability to manage several detailed tasks at once is essential.

Send cover letter and resume by Friday, February 23 to:

U m te d W a v A p p ly on-line at killington.com

o f C h itte n d e n C o u n t y The W ay Chittenden County Cares

Campaign Associate United W ay o f Chittenden County, 95 St. Paul St., Ste. 200, Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 1 An Affirmative Action/EOE

The

UNIVERSITY o/VERMONT

N iW

SM O KERS

Healthy Women and Men 18-45 for cigarette smoking study at UVM

telecommunications company offers personal freedom for aggressive self-starters. Be your own boss with flexible hours. 1-888-472-0157 ext.83, code 703.

7D Personals

For

LO C AL loving.

COMPENSATION UP TO $240

AM & PM Dishwashers

If you are available on 3 days for 1 hour, and 1 week M-F, 3 times per day for about 5 minutes in the morning, afternoon & evening.

needed for NECI Commons Part time and Full time positions. Some weekends may be required. Previous kitchen experience preferred. Competitive pay plus an excellent benefits package for full time positions, including heaith club membership, health, dental, and life insur ance, 401 (k) eligibility, and meals provided. Apply in person only at 25 Church Street, Burlington, ask for Chef Robert Barral.

AM BITIO N CAN GET YOU FAR .Rapidly advancing

Please Call 656-9619

D rive rs W anted FT & PT drivers earn up t o $ 15.00/hr including tips. Must be 18 years o f age with reliable vehicle and g o o d dri

Business of the year? You're looking at it*

SEVEN DAYS Shelburne Museum

PET LOVERS WANTED

CUSTODIAN

SALES CLERK

Shelburne Museum requests applications for Buildings & c Grounds Custodian. This is a full time, year-round position with benefits. Applicants should have two years high school education, 2 years of janitorial experience pre ferred, be 16 years or older, be able to lift and carry 30 lbs. and be able to do rigorous labor for extended periods. A valid Vermont drivers license is desirable. Duties include vacuuming, cleaning and stocking restrooms, collecting trash, and washing windows. Weekend work is required from May-October. A job description and application are available from Shelburne Museum, PO Box 10, 5555 Shelburne Road, Shelburne, VT 05482 or 802-985-3348 ext. 3562

v er’s record. Apply at D O M IN O ’S PIZZA 15 4 8 N o r th Ave. Burlington o r call 6 5 8 -6 5 5 8 .

Com m unity Developm ent Sp ecialist

for busy pet store. Full time/Part time available.

City of Burlington Community and Economic Development Office

Flexible schedule. Generous employee discount. Management opportunities. Apply in person or by appointment.

Energetic, community oriented individual with excellent communication skills is needed to be responsible for Americorps*VISTA program, which includes a statewide America Reads team and a Burlington Community Development team. In addition to fiscal oversight of the program, the Development Specialist will perform a variety of tasks related to recruitment, placement and training of A*VISTA members. At least 3 years exp. in community development or a related field required. For a complete description, or to apply, contact Human Resources at 802/8657145, If interested, send resume, cover ^ letter and City of Burlington

GROOMER Space available for experienced groomer in established grooming center.

NOAH'S ARK 4 Pet & 6rooming Center 6S5-0421 Just Off 1-89, exit 16 Across from Libby's • noahspet01@aol.com

Application by February 9, 2001 to: £ HR Dept., Rm 33 City Hall, Burlington, VT 05401.

Women, Minorities, and persons with __________ disabilities are strongly encouraged to apply. EOE_________

TRAFFIC MANAGER WPTZ-TV is seeking a traffic manager to oversee daily operation o f traffic department. Must p o ssess excellent com m unication and problem solving skills and the ability to com m unicate with all levels o f personnel. Requires the ability to juggle multiple tasks, and m eet deadlines. Computer proficiency and prior broadcast traffic experience are required. Knowledge o f BIAS system preferred.

Adm inistrative Coordinator Well-established nonprofit environmen tal organization (www.neruralwater.org) seeking professional full-charge bookkeeper with 3+ years experience.

Send resum e/cover letter identifying where you learned o f this open position to: Traffic Manger Search, WPTZ-TV, 5 Television Drive. Plattsburgh, NY 12 9 0 1. EOE.

WPTZ N

ew s

h a n n e l

7D classifieds [Where the Good Jobs Are e l

SEVEN DAYS

februaty 7, 2001

Resume by 02/12/01 to:

Michael Wood-Lewis, Executive Director Northeast Rural Water Association 187 St. Paul Street Burlington, VT 05401-4689 802-660-4990 fax woodlewisa) mindspring, com

Leading nonprofit housing energy retrofitter seeks highly motivated person to manage and coordinate activities for multiple funds, rev enue sources, and field offices. Excellent computer, writing, customer-relations, office, and basic accounting (not payroll) skills essential. Challenging position, requires excellent organization and attention to detail. Based in Burlington, som e local travel. Starting $25,900 to $28,000, plus excellent benefits. EOE. Send LETTER with resume by 2/16 to:

Admin Coordinator Search Champlain Valley Weatherization Service PO Box 1591, Burlington, VT 05402

employment •;

Freelance A d Sales • High earning potential • Experience preferred • Call or stop by — Ask for Frank or Laura .

j .

Four Star Delivery 2 0 3 No. W inooski Ave. B u rlin g to n , VT 8 6 5 - 3 6 6 3

how do you do?

E li Conservation Forester. Seeking experienced forester for the VT Backyard Forest Stewardship Program in Chittenden County. Provides technical assistance to landowners with 25 acres or less. Send cover letter, resume, and 2 references to: Winooski NRCD, 617 Comstock Rd. Suite 1, Berlin, VT 05602. Deadline 2/20/01. For more info, call 802-872-2861.

C O M M U N IT Y LIBR A RY D IR E C T O R

Helping People Age with Independence and Dignity

South Burlington C om m unity Library Full-time position managing com m unity library in shared school setting. M inim um five years professional library experience including supervisory work required. MLS from ALA accredited institution preferred. Duties include: supervising staff and volunteers; teaming with school library staff; improving library resources; coordinating com munity programs. Salary commensurate w ith education/ experience; range $38,579-$40342. To apply send resume to City Manager, City o f South Burlington, 575 Dorset Street, South Burlington, V T 05403, by February 20th. Annual position begins March 2001.

Case Manager for Old North End of Burlington. Complex field posi tion providing assessment, coordination and monitor ing of community services and benefits for elders. Must have excellent assessment, organizational and communication skills; ability to handle large caseload; able to work independently and as part of a larger team. BA/BS requird. Minimum three years social service experience. $12.30/hour, plus benefits. Resume with cover letter by Tuesday, February 20th, 2001, to the Champlain Valley Agency on Aging, RO. Box 158, Winooski, Vermont 05404-0158. EOE

seven da vs wellness directory *

H a ir a n d B o d y S a io

Station Rental/$50 per day 20% Retail Commission Flexible Days and Hours Parking Permit Provided Supportive Working Environment 1 S T E E L E ST . B U R L I N G T O N , V T 8 6 3 - 2 2 3 2

BARTENDING SCHOOL Hands-on Training National Certification Immediate Job Openings

1-888-4DRINKS www.bartendingschool.com

hair salon opportunities

Drivers Wanted

newly expanded and growing salon seeks team players with great customer service skills, join a fun profession with great co-workers, offering paid vacation, retail commission and incentives, accepting applications for hairstylists, salon coordinators, and nail technicians, apply in person at:

Awesome earning potential —

Up to«$l5 /hr. Relaxed working conditions. Part time and full time drivers needed and no kitchen work. Must have valid Drivers License,

o rb it h a ir d e s ig n 3 5 0 d o rs e t s tre e t, s o u th b u rlin g to n

Insurance, & Reliable Vehicle.

Call for details or apply in person:

Four Star Delivery 203 No. Winooski Ave. Burlington H A I R

D E S I G N

COMMUNITY-BASED LIVING MENTORS to live and work with adolescents needing to learn independent living skills as they transition to adulthood. Experience with adolescent development, mental health, and substance abuse desirable but not required.

865-3663

We are also seeking to create a diverse network of FOSTER CARE HOMES in local communities. We encourage men, women, couples and families interested in making a difference in an adolescent's life to apply. In return, Spectrum offers both positions support, training, and a tax-free stipend.To find out more, please contact Tammy at 864-7423 ext. 217.

O NIO N RIVER CO-OP

ARE Y O U CREATIVE? IF SO. KEEP READINGS Marketing/Public Relations Specialist City of Burlington City Arts Department BCA is seeking a creative, energetic individual to be the City Arts liaison between the department and all outside media, arts organizations, local state/community organizations and the general public. In addition this position is responsible for the creation/production of all publicity and related materi als. Finally, this positon oversees various seasonal programs as stipulated by the Executive Director. Bachelors in Fine Arts or related field and 2 years experience in Marketing, or Bachelors in Marketing or Public Relations and 2 years experience in the Visual Arts field required. For a complete description, or to apply, contact Human Resources at 802/865-7145. If interested, send resume, cover letter and City of Burlington Application by February 14, 2001 to: HR Dept., Rm 33 City Hall, Burlington, VT 05401.

Video Products Distributors, a growing national video distribution firm in beautiful Burlington, is looking fo r a fe w talented, energetic individuals to join our family. VPD ojfers a fun, unique and relaxed working environment an d provides its employees with a pre miere benefits package an d competitive market wage. I f you have a desire to succeed, you should look to VPD as your employer o f choice! The following key positions are aw aiting you:

PRODUCE & GROCERY STORE ASSISTANTS The Onion River Co-op is seeking a friendly, hard-working and enthusiastic individual to work full time. Must b e able to lift 50lbs. repeatedly. Retail experience preferred. Farm experience a plus for produce position! Onion River Co-op offers great benefits for our full-time and part-time empoyees: credit unton membership, retirement benefits, anniversary and birthday gifts, paid holidays, paid time off, medical and dental insurance, and store discounts for both full and part time employees. Plus the Co-op is a great place to work!!!

Send your resume with cover letter to Attn: Kate Charles, HR Administrator or stop by and fill out an application at: 274 N. Winooski Avenue, Burlington 05401 Equal Opportunity Employer

Customer Service Representative: Seeking fun, energetic and hard-working individu als to join our customer service team. Top candi dates would possess strong communication, com puter and written skills and work well in a team environment. If you are friendly and enjoy helping customers you may be the perfect fit! Please fax resumes to 802-860-0078. No phone calls, please. Send resumes to: VPD, Inc. 5 Burlington Square, 3rd Floor Burlington, VT 05401 ATTN: Sales Manager EOE. M /F/D

W om en, Minorities, and persons w ith disabilities are strongly encouraged to apply.

february 7, 2001

LINE COOK

►employment ABSOLUTELY FREE INFO!

Own a computer? Put it to work! $25 - $75/hr. PT/FT. www.got-it-now.net.

For h igh -volu m e *. restaurant. Days and n igh ts available. W illihg to train th e right p erson . : Apply in p erson: / Lincoln Inn *

Five t a m e r s

VJ E ssex Junction.

Valentines Day doesn’t have to

SUCK. Consult the

SEVEN DAYS P e r s o n a ls fo r

a ll

H a llm a r k needs

and

your H o lid a y d e s ir e s .

ADMINISTRATIVE A s s is

tant for a small real estate firm. Should be knowledge able of QuickBooks accounting software and general office computer systems. 2-3 days/wk at your own time. Call 864-7537. ASSISTANT ACCOUNT

manager. Detail-oriented, flexible schedule. Shark, 209 Battery St.,Burlington, VT. www.sharkcomm.com. CAMPAIGN 2 0 0 1 : Help elect Los Angeles first Hispanic mayor. Experience a high profile campaign. Learn modern political campaigning. Housing/ Expense allowance. Job opportunities for graduates. 773-539-3222. (AAN CAN) CASHIERS: We need friendly and helpful people. Part-time positions avail able afternoons, evenings. $7.50/hr days, $8.00/hr overnights. Inquire in per son, Bourne’s Service, So. Burlington. 658-6460. CHEF/COOK. Woody’s restaurant is seeking a cre ative and experienced chef/cook with strong line skills including saute, prep and baking. Apply in per son to Laurie at 7 Bakery Lane, Middlebury. You must be a team player but able to work independently. We have a family-like envi ronment, and you will enjoy working with our creative chefs, cooks & bakers.

CLEANERS, $10.32/H R .

Full and part-time, day shift positions available for qualified people. Successful candidates must pass security clearance/background check. Fill out applications at the U.S. Post Office and Courthouse, 11 Elmwood Ave., Burlington, VT. CLIMB HIGH, a leading outdoor retailer in the New England Region for over 20 years, has immediate open ings in both our bicycle sales dept, and our out doors outfitting dept. If you have experience or just a love for the outdoors come join our team by submitting an application at our store on the Shelburne Rd, Rte 7 South of Burlington, or phone 985-5055 for more details. DAGWOOD’S DELI in Winooski. FT $8-10/hr. Start today and receive a $300 bonus. Greg or Stacey, 655-5152 DENTAL RECEPTIONIST:

PT, Thurs. & Fri. 7:00 am 5:00 pm. Must have expe rience in customer service, computer skills and be well organized. Benefit package included. Please send resume to: 1st Advantage Dental, 789 Pine St., Burlington, VT 05401, Attn: Suzanne. ENVIRONMENT: Forest Watch, a forest protection nonprofit, seeks Advocacy Director. Degree in environ mental science or policy, and relevant experience desired. For position description, (802) 223-3216. Application deadline is 2/28/01. www.forestwatch.org

EXTRAS/ACTORS. Up to $500 a day! All looks needed. Call for info 1-800-260-3949 ext. 3025. (AAN CAN) GARDENER. Shelburne Museum requests applica tions for Seasonal Gardener. This is a full time, April 15 to Oct. 15, seasonal position. Applications should have a minimum of one year of satisfactory gardening work experience, a valid Vermont drivers license, a high school diploma, and be 18 year old or older. Good communication skills and a thorough knowledge of common garden plants and basic gardening skills are required. A degree or certi fication in horticulture is desirable. A job description and application are avail able from Shelburne Museum, P.0. Box 10, Shelburne, VT 05482 or 802-985-3348 ext. 3562. HAIRSTYLIST WANTED for well established salon in Stowe. Experience pre ferred. Call today, 253-8108.

CLAIMS PROCESSOR

place to work? Immediate part-time, experienced, waits person position avail able. All Fired Up Pizzeria & Billiard Parlor. Downtown Barre. Apply in person 10 am to 10 pm.

$20-$40/hr potential. Processing claims is easy! Training provided, MUST own PC. CALL NOW! 888-310-2153 ext. 867. (AAN CAN) EARN UP TO $ 2 5 ,0 0 0 to $50,000/year. Medical insurance billing assistance needed immediately! Use your home computer, get FREE internet, FREE long distance. 800-291-4683 dept. 190. (AAN CAN)

PART-TIME DELI/

cashier seeking a motivat ed, energetic person that has an appreciation for good eats. Hours M-F, 12 pm - 1:30 or 2pm. Call 657-3869 or come in to the Four Corners of the Earth Deli, 310 Pine St between 11-3. TEACHERS needed for year-round wilderness camps. Excellent opportunity/salary/benefits. Must enjoy being outdoors and helping at-risk youth. State certification or certificate 'eligibility required. More info/apply on-line at www.eckerd.org or mail resume to Selection Specialist/AN, Eckerd Youth Alternatives, PO Box 7450, Clearwater, FL, 33758. EOE. (AAN CAN)

INTERESTED IN A POLITI-

► business opps

cal Career? Learn cam paigning from profession als. Experience a high pro file election as a field orga nizer through the Democratic Campaign Management Program. Housing/Expense Per Diem. 773-539-3222. (AAN CAN)

BARTENDERS: Make

INTERNET & DATABASE

Developers. Excellent salary, bonuses, benefits & work environment. 6 Degrees Software, 176 Battery St., Burlington, VT 05401. www.6degrees.com

Dear Cecil, Women are excludedfrom the inner sanctums o f many religions — the all-male priesthood o f the Catholic Church comes to mind. But I ’ve heard there’s a monastery in Greece so misogynistic it excludes female animals. Can this be true? What’s the deal? Do they really think femaleness in any form will defile thejoint, or are theyjust concerned that the monks will get, you know, lonely? — Emily Gusba, Franklin, Tennessee This is outside my traditional area of expertise, Emily. But if I’d reached the point where a sheep started looking good to me, do you think I’d stop because it wasn’t female? There really is a place that takes things to the extremes you describe, but it’s not just one monastery, it’s a peninsula full of them — specifically the peninsula of Athos, more commonly known as Mount Athos, which juts into the Aegean Sea in northern Greece. Somewhat grandly referred to as the Garden of the Mother of God (lest we rubes get it mixed up with the Wisconsin Dells), the wild, spectacularly beautiful promontory is home to 20 monasteries, 2500 monks, and an unknown number of domestic animals — all male. Exception: the local cats, which even the most determined defenders of the faith have learned to leave alone. Mount Athos is said to be the oldest surviving monastic com munity in the world. According to legend, the Virgin Mary land ed on the peninsula after having been blown off course while

LOOKING FOR A UNIQUE

traveling and was so struck by its beauty that she asked her son to let it be her garden. “Done,” said a voice. From that moment — one recognizes a certain gap in the logic here — the peninsula was out of bounds to any other woman. Mount Athos’ history as an organized religious community dates from the ninth century AD. In 885 the Byzantine emperor formally recognized the peninsula as the province of monks and forbade anyone except religious men from living there. Another edict outlawed the construction of any roads to the area, and to this day it’s accessible only by boat. Numerous monasteries were built over the ensuing centuries, many of them quite impressive architecturally and containing many beautiful icons and other treasures that are said to be a wonder to behold. But of course if

$100-$250 per night. No experience necessary. Call 1-800-981-8168 ext. 5000. (AAN CAN) BUSINESS CART FOR

sale. Dry goods only. Marketplace approved. Storage rental $25/mo. $2400 0B0. For more info call Jerry at 893-2977. CLAIMS PROCESSOR

$20-$40/hr potential. Processing claims is easy! Training provided, MUST own PC. CALL NOW! 888-518-7534 ext 858. (AAN CAN)

GROWING BUSINESS

needs help! Work from home. Mail-order/ECommerce. Earn up to $522+/week PT $1,000 $4,000/week FT. CreateYourRainbow.com (800) 964-6865. (AAN CAN) MEDICAL BILLING. No experience needed. FT/PT. Training provided. PC required. Must type 30+ WPM. Up to $60K+/year. 1-888-750-8766 Dept. 508 www.medds.net. (AAN CAN) ONLINE VT MUSIC SHOP.

Largest selection of Vermont music available is at www.bigheavyworld.com! VT bands with CDs to con sign call, 800-303-1590.

FLORIDA LAWN SERVICE FOR SALE! Accounts, Equipment, Training. $29,500. 352-307-3539 or Lawncarefl@aol.com

p you’re a female (anything), you won’t, c The when and why of this ban on ^ female domestic animals isn’t clear. The 5 simplest explanation is an excess of reli° gious zeal, but one theory I’ve heard is c/> that the ban dates from the time when c the monks shared the peninsula with oo secular herdsmen and didn’t want to compete with them in the raising of ani° mals. Whether or not this is true, the z ban presents a pretty basic obstacle to animal husbandry and must have com plicated the monasteries’ efforts to achieve economic self-sufficiency — to which some may say, serves ’em right. Today Mount Athos is an autonomous state within a state, with only 130 outsiders permitted to visit per day. Of this number, 120 spots are reserved for Orthodox Christian pil grims, while the remaining 10 are for men who can demonstrate a legitimate scholarly or other interest. This involves a lengthy application process, so even if you’ve got testosterone hissing off you like steam, your chances of actually see ing the place aren’t so hot. One concedes that the ban on females recalls those no gurls aloud clubs little boys set up in tree forts. Still, let’s not be too quick to mock. Like monasteries elsewhere in Europe, those on Mount Athos have often been a candle in a world of darkness, preserving in their libraries many books and manu scripts that otherwise would have been lost, and maintaining many aspects of Greek culture during the centuries-long occupa tion by the Turks. And it’s not true that no woman has ever seen the place. During the Greek civil war following World War II, I’m told, the monasteries on Mount Athos sheltered women and girls from the brutality on the mainland. So I’m inclined to be kind and say they come through when it counts. — CECIL ADAMS

PROCESSING CLAIMS from home. $15-$45/hr potential! Established com pany seeks people. Training provided. Must own PC. 1800- 935-1311 x221. (AAN CAN)

► a n n o u n c e m e n ts Your Classified Ad printed in more than 100 alterna tive papers like this one for just $1150.00! To run your ad in papers with a total circulation exceeding 6.9 million copies per week, call Josh at Seven Days, 864-5684. No adult ads. (AAN CAN)

►automotive 1992 DODGE SHADOW. Must sell, 110k, 5 spd, new snow tires, reg. oil changes, needs paint, great reliable car. $1,200 OBO. 859-0276, Iv msg.

1992 SAAB 9000S. 5 spd, i06k, super clean, super maintained, on 4 new snows, no rust. Call 863-5188. 1994 CHEVY 1500 Pickup, 4WD, extended cab, long bed, white, 107K miles, New Mexico truck, no corrosion, runs great, sacrifice $10,500. Call 660-0818.

►real estate BURLINGTON: In down town, central Burlington, hidden in an alley. Is a spectacular, renovated, late 1800’s warehouse. Soaring 4-level; 1972 architectdesigned, studio/loft. Fireplace in living room. Attached greenhouse, plus 2 separate rental units. One of a kind, sophisticat ed city living. $325,000. Call Foulsom Farms Real Estate, 864-7537.

►space for rent

Vermont’s Most Unique Apartments

Studios & One-bedroom apartments $800-1000 2-bedroom and loft apartments $1100-1300

Home of The Woolen Mill Health Club Call, write or visit us (802) 655-1186 20 West Canal St., Suite 1 W inooski, V T 05404 Twma@together.net

MIDDLEBURY: Commercial rentals. 1-3 small build ings, 13-15 Washington St., across from Grand Union. Will renovate or restore for your store, office or business. 425-5000. WINOOSKI: The Woolen Mill. 720 square feet of commercial space. $650 per month, 2 ?r mini mum lease. Cail M-F, 9-5, 655-1186.

► h o u s in g fo r re n t BURLINGTON: 1-bedroom, clean & quiet location. Quiet building, parking. $495/mo. 864-4538. BURLINGTON: Big and beautiful 2 -bedroom apt. in quiet downtown Victorian. Hardwood firs., porch, W/D. $975/mo. includes heat/hot water/trash. Avail. Feb 5th. 660-2667.

BURLINGTON: Large 5bedroom house, 2 kitchens, 2 baths. Gas heat. Excellent condition. Close to campus. Avail. June 1st. Not a party house. $1,900+. Call David at 658-3114. BURLINGTON: Nice 4-bed room apt. Gas heat and hot water. Off-street parking. No smoking/pets. $1500/mo. + utils. Avail. June 1st. Call 658-2578. BURLINGTON: Spacious 4bedroom Victorian house. 2 car garage. Hardwood floors. Utilities included. Close to downtown. $1750/mo. Avail. April 1st. Call Tom at 434-4449. BURLINGTON: University Terrace. Avail. June 1. 1bedroom apt & 3-bedroom apt. Across from UVM library. Parking, W/D. $700/mo. & $1300/mo. Both include heat & hot water. Call Jasmine 229-5123. HOUSE SITTING: Wonderful, Prof, couple seeking long-term house sitting opportunity. Excellent references. Donna 229-9402. JERICHO: Sunny, 2-bed room, avail. March 1st. $650/mo. 899-3543.

►housemates BURLINGTON: 1 bedroom, hardwood floors, garage, prof./med. student. $400/mo. + 1/3 utils. Call 863-6964. BURLINGTON: 68A S. Willard St., located between Church St. & University. Basement room in shared condo. Lg. living room & kitchen, w/fireplace. 1.5 BA. W/D, park ing. Prefer F prof ./grad. $285/mo.+ shared utils. No pets. 660-7172. BURLINGTON: Avail. 3/5. Prof ./grad, to sublet room in 2 -bedroom apt. $350/mo. + 1/2 util. Option to renew lease 6/1. Parking, walk to town. 658-1653.

:5 + o g y M i n u + e

BURLINGTON: F grad, stu dent, young prof, for 4th bedroom in beautiful house, w/great amenities, on lake. 8 min. drive to downtown. Now to Jun 30. $400/mo. + approx. $125 utils. Must be pleasant, clean, responsible, non tobacco smoker, no pets, musician friendly. Days 651-7218, Eves 863-8811. BURLINGTON: Looking for gay-friendly Female to share 2 bedroom apt. downtown. Must love pets. $350 + own phone line. Call Vicky 660-8445 or 660-2700. BURLINGTON: Seeking F housekeeper to clean 5bedroom house for 20 25/hrs a week in exchange for rent. Non-smoker, no pets. Call 859-8900. BURLINGTON: Short-term or part-week share avail, now. neat & responsible M/F wanted to share cozy, well-maintained 2 -bedroom apartment w/F and 2 cats. Hardwood floors, yard, offstreet parking, North Ave. bus line, close to lake. $400/mo. + 1/2 utils., deposit; less if part-week. 863-1147. CHITTENDEN COUNTY: Free room and board! Work as a full-time, live in care giver, for a senior or a per son with a disability, and you will live and eat for free plus get a weekly salary. No experience nec essary, but a big heart and good references required. Call Project Home at 863-5625. CHITTENDEN COUNTY: Looking for a cozy and safe home? Consider living with an elder. Affordable rent in exchange for services. Call Project Home at 863-5625. COLCHESTER: Mature, working adult to share spa cious 2 -bdrm apt. Convenient to Essex, IBM, Burlington. No smokers/ pets. $437.50/mo. includes heat, water, trash removal. Call 879-1218.

ESSEX JCT.: 2 responsible, neat M/F to share 4-bedroom house. Garage and many extras. Close to IBM. Call 872-5884 or page 351-5393. N. FERRISBERG: Room in beautiful farmhouse. $325/mo. + util. Call Mark at 425-3737. SO. BURLINGTON: Furnished room for 1 or 2 with cable and laundry. Nice neighborhood and clean home. Near UVM and FAHC, bus line and UMall. 864-7406. STOWE: Roommate need to share a great 2 -bdrm. Lots of room and light, you must see it! Short-term lease. Call 253-6690. WATERBURY: Retired gen tleman looking for same to share 4-bedroom house in village. Quiet home. $200/mo. 244-8435, evenings only.

►dating svcs. SINGLES CONNECTION: Professional and intelligent dating network for singles. Bi-directional matching. Lifetime memberships. Please call (800) 775-3090 or www.ne-singles.com. Helping you get connected. VERMONT’S NEWEST service, pay one price, 3 month membership. No 900 numbers, no forward ing fee, low cost. Info: S.A.S.E. to Mountain Singles, PMB 289, 70 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington, VT 05401.

►financial CONSOLIDATE BILLS, low rates, No up front fees, bad credit OK. Bankrupts accepted. Same day approval. 866-227-8889. (AAN CAN)

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HOMEOWNERS W/CREDIT worries may now quickly qualify for loans. Stonecastle’s a direct lender that can tell you over the phone and without obligation! Call 1-800700-1242 ext. 683. (AAN CAN) NEED A LOAN? Try debt consolidation! Cut pay ments to 50%!! Bad credit ok! No application fees! 1800-863-9006 Ext. 838. www.help-pay-bills.com. (AAN CAN) SHORT ON CASH? Bad credit? No problem! $600 until payday! Call today, cash tomorrow! One hour phone approval 1-877-4PAYDAY/24 hours/7 days. (AAN CAN)

►misc. services COPY-EDITING of gradu ate-level and above acade mic work, business writing, and fiction by a qualified professional. Call 863-0551 for rates and services. FIND A ROOMMATE now or list a free ad. www.vtroommiezfinder.com Vermont based service. LEARN TO BLOW GLASS! Intensive weekend classes. Beginner and intermediate levels. Keep what you make! $35.00 per hour. Instructor: Michael Richardson, 434-5913.

► m o vin g s e rv ic e s GREEN MOUNTAIN MOVing & Delivery. Pickups & drop-offs welcome. 660-9817.

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AS SooN AS SHE To UCHEP THE 6ROUNP, HER CAR FELL OVER THE EPGE.

CIGARETTES - Wholesale Prices! All Brands! Marlboro Special starting at $19.95. Others at $9.95. Must be 21. Adult signature required at deliv ery. Free Samples! 1-800272-1743. (AAN CAN) FREE DIRECTV SYSTEM including professional installation. Call/details. Over 225 channels. Local networks available. 888575-1100 (AAN CAN) iBOOK. Great deal, tanger ine, 300mHZ, 96MB, RAM 3G, 1-year-old system, 9.04. Original disks, soft ware and boxes. $975. 482 5727 SOFTUBS FOR SALE OR rent. New/used, portable/ afffordable, indoor/outdoor. Hot Tubs For Fun, So. Burlington, VT. 951-8827. WOLFF TANNING BEDS. Tan at home. Buy direct and SAVE! commercial/ home units from $199. Low monthly payments. Free color catalog. Call TODAY 1-800-711-0158. www.np.etstan.com.

M ATT STERN F IN E C A R PE N T R Y AND HOME M A IN T E N A N C E Doors, windows, closets, kitchen, plastering, etc. Clean, courteous, professional, competitive, insured.

355-1947 —

7D classified s

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► classified @ sevendaysvt.com

february 7, 2001

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►furniture BED: QUEEN black wroughtiron canopy, mattress, box and frame, never opened, still in plastic, cost $895, sell $365. 655-0219. BED, QUEEN SIZE, pillow top mattress, box & frame. Brand new. sacrifice for $375. Call 655-0219. BEDROOM SET. Beautiful cherry sleigh bed, women’s dresser w/hidden drawer, mir ror, 6 drawer chest & night stand. Brand new, in storage. Cost $5500, sacrifice $2450. Call 654-6970, ask for Beth or Bill. DINING ROOM SET. 14 piece, cherrywood, 92” double pedestal w/2 leaves, 8-10 Chippendale chairs, buffet & hutch. All dove tailed, never opened, still in boxes. Cost $9000, sell $2600. Server $350. Call 655-0387. HEIRLOOM TRUNK: Black with wood. In our family for many years. $200. Beautiful for the right person. Rustic, antique. Call 864-3636 leave message. MAHOGANY OFFICE desk 60 X 30 X 29 for $100, 2 office side or guest chairs, $10 each. Call 865-1773. MATTRESS, KING SIZE, extra thick orthopedic pillow top mattress, box & frame. New in plastic. Cost $1250, sell for $495. 734-0788.

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AD ASTRA RECORDING. Got music? Relax. Record. Get the tracks. 20+ yrs. Exp. from stage to studio. Tenure Skyline Studios, NYC. 24-track auto mated mixdown. lst-rate gear. Wide array of keyboards, drums, more. Ad Astra, build ing a reputation of sonic integrity. 872-8583. ANALOG/DIGITAL recording studio. Dogs, Cats & Clocks Productions. Warm, friendly, prof, environment. Services for: singer/songwriters, jingles, bands. New digital mastering/ recording. Call Robin, 658-1042. ATTENTION ORIGINAL bands! Audition packages are being accepted for the 1 st annual Block Island Music Festival. June 10-17, 2001. Band per form a 1 hour set in exchange for: $100 spending, overnight accommodations, a merchan dise table to sell product, and the chance to meet/play with other up and coming bands, send all audition material to: Mark Scortino, PO Box 1305, Waitsfield, VT 05673. Submissions must be received by 3/1/01. CALLIOPE MUSIC— Full repair service & restoration of all string instruments. Authorized warranty service: Fender, Guild, Martin, Taylor, Takamine. 20 yrs. exper. 202 Main St., Burl. 863-4613. CHOPIN-AFICIONADO pianist will add elegant ambiance to your special event, receptions, bridal/baby showers, dinner/ cocktail parties, etc. 25 years experience. Emily Lanxner 229-4656. HARPISTS & HARP TEACHers to play your weddings/ spe cial events or to teach you to play the lever or pedal harp. Call the Vermont Harpists Cooperative at 223-2492, e- ’• mail harpden@hotmail.com. www.vtharpistscooperative.com

TABLA DRUMMING. Study the hand drumming of Northern India. Technique, theory, appreciation, etc. Private lessons and classes. Burlington and N. Central VT. Gabe Halberg, 899-1113.

CANT IMPACT! An environmental review for the project has been made by the City of South Burlington and is available for public examination and copying at the municipal offices during normal business hours. Based on this review, it has been determined by the City of South Burlington and VHCB with concurrence by the State that a request for release of funds will not significantly affect the quality of the human environment and hence, an environmental impact statement will not be

► legals COMBINED NOTICE OF FIND ING OF NO SIGNIFICANT IMPACT AND OF INTENT TO REQUEST RELEASE OF FUNDS CITY OF SOUTH BURLINGTON, STATE OF VERMONT TO ALL INTERESTED AGEN CIES, GROUPS AND PER SONS: The purpose of this Notice is to identify two separate but related actions to be taken by the City of South Burlington and the State of Vermont with the Vermont Housing and Conservation Board (VHCB) as administrator. On or about February 23, 2001 , the above named will request that the Vermont Agency of Commerce and Community Development (Agency) release funds under Title I of the Housing and Community Development Act of 1974 (PL 93-383) and the National Affordable Housing Act to be used for the follow ing project: Project Title: Market Place Housing Purpose/Name of Project: To provide a loan to purchase a 160-unit rental housing devel opment as part of a mixed use development called Market Place. Location of Project: Farrell Street, South Burlington. Estimated Cost of Project: $15,610,835.00. Vermont Community Development Program (VCDP) funds will provide $722,690 and the HOME funds will provide $216,000 of the total cost of project acquisition.

undertaken under the National Environmental Policy Act of 1969 (PL 91-910). The Finding of No Significant Impact is based on the follow ing: The acquisition of new housing units described above will comply with all applicable laws and regulations with no significant adverse impact upon the environment. Public Comments on Findings. All interested agencies, groups, and persons disagree ing with this decision are invited to submit written com ments for consideration by the City of South Burlington

(regarding the use of VCDP funds) to the Office of the City Manager, 575 Dorset Street, South Burlington, VT 05403; or the Agency (regarding the use of HOME funds) to the State at the address listed at the end of this notice no later than February 23, 2001. All comments must clearly specify which decision they object to: the Finding of No Significant Impact or the Request for Release of Funds. All com ments so received will be con sidered by the City of South Burlington and the Agency prior to either taking any B Y L l o YD

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STUNT DRIVER WANNABE FACES LONG, HARD ROAD

actors’ union. So the first thing you have to do is join S A G . A n d even T H A T ’S not easy. R AY: You have to have a cer tain num ber o f film or co m mercial appearances before

Dear Tom and Ray:

they’ll even let you in. So you have to do things like dress up

I have an interesting ques as one o f the “ Fruit o f the Lo o m ” fruits a few times just tion. Every time I see a car to get your S A G card. advertisement on TV in which T O M : T h en you need to learn they are doing some serious dri the art o f stunt driving. T h e ving, I always see a disclaimer best known training ground is on the bottom ofthe screen that B o bby O re’s M otion Picture says: “Professional driver on a Stunt D riving School in Los closed course. ” Well, I was Angeles. You can reach them thinking, wouldn’t “professional at (8 18 ) 8 8 0 -5 6 7 8 or on the driver”be the bestjob in the world? Youget to drive all kinds W eb at w w w .bobbyoresports.com . ofcars to their limits and look R AY: But you’re not going to good while doing it. The prob take a tw o -d ay B obby O re lem is, I don't have any idea course and com e out o f there how to land a killerjob like ready to drive in commercials. that. — Jonathan You’ll need a lot o f practice to get good at it, and you gener

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around Los Angeles (we told you the price was high, Jonathan). RAY: O f course, you might luck out. Sometimes T V shows or movies will hire a stunt driver based solely on

Got a question about cars? Write to Click and Clack in care ofthis newspaper, or e-mail 1 them by visiting the Car Talk section ofcars.com on the World Wide Web.

looks. So if you look like m y

Carpool Connection Call 864-CCTA to respond to a listing or to be listed.

BOLTON to WINOOSKI: I work

WATERBURY to IBM: I need a round-

Monday through Thursday from 7 am 5:30 pm. (40067 )

trip ride from Waterbury to Essex Jet. I work from 7 am7 pm. (40051 )

MORRISVILLE to MONTPELIER: I am

RICHMOND P&R to ST. MICHAEL’S COLL.

looking for a ride Monday - Friday. I work from 7:30 am 5 pm. (40070 )

I am hoping to share driving on my com mute to work, my hours are 7:15 am -5 pm, M-Th. (3271 )

GEORGIA TO SOUTH BURLINGTON. I am

brother, and D on King hap

looking for a ride from Georgia to Shelburne Rd. on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I need to be there by 7 :00 a.m. (40066 )

pens to need a stunt double, you m ight get hired. But oth erwise, it’s like trying to get any other great job. You have to be good, you have to be in

S. BURLINGTON TO S. BURLINGTON: I

the right place at the right time, and you have to be

am looking for a ride from Shelburne Rd. to the University Mall. I work Monday through Sunday and would like a ride anytime between 8 a.m. and 11p.m. (40063 )

lucky. T O M : So the bottom line is that, just like you, there are a lot o f people w ho consider professional driving to be a

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great job. In fact, one industry

MORRISVILLE to ESSEX. I need a ride to IBM. I work from 7 pm -7 am. (40057 ) BURL to S. BURL. I need a ride to Sears at the University Mall. I work Sun.-Sat. from 6 am -2 pm. (40058 )

ENOSBURG FALLS to ESSEX JCT. I work at IBM from 7 pm to 7 am. W ed.-Sat.( 40027 ) WINOOSKI to FAIRFIELD INN. I need a

WATERBURY to MONTPELIER. My hours are 7 am -3 pm. I am flexible & looking for a ride M-F. (40045 )

S. BURLINGTON to ESSEX JCT. I am look

ride from Maple St. in Winooski to the Fairfield Inn. I work Tu., Th. & Sat. at 8 am. (40055 )

ing for a ride to IBM from S. Burlington. I work M-F, 8 am - 4:30 pm. (40038 )

ST. ALBANS to ESSEX

CABOT to WILLISTON:

I need a ride to IBM. I need to be to work between 7:30 am & 9:30 am. ( 40056 )

insider speculated that there

I am looking for a ride or to share driving from the Cabot/ Montpelier area. I work 2 0 hrs./wk. & am very flexible. (40034 )

are 5 ,0 0 0 stunt people out there, and only 2 5 0 working ' at any given time. So you have to be absolutely comm itted to making it, absolutely undiscourageable and ... you’d bet ter have a day job. RAY: O f course, there IS

VANPOOL RIDERS WANTED

another w ay to become a pro

Route from: Burlington & Richmond Commuter Lot To: Montpelier Monthly Fare: $85 Work Hours: 7:30 to 4:25 p.m. Contact: Carl Bohlen Phone: 828-5215 ___

fessional driver, Jonathan.

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administrative action or requesting the release of funds on the date listed immediately above. REQUEST FOR RELEASE OF FUNDS. The City of South Burlington and Lake Champlain Housing Development Corporation (the General Partner) will under take the project described above with Vermont Community Development Program funds from the Agency and HOME funds from the Department of Housing and Urban Development. The City of South Burlington is certifying to the Agency that the City and Charles Hafter, in his official capacity as Certifying Officer, and the State is certifying that Gregory Brown, in his official capacity as Commissioner of the Department of Housing and Community Affairs, consents to>accept the jurisdiction of the federal courts if an action is brought to enforce responsi

bilities in relation to environ mental review, decision mak ing and action; and that these responsibilities have been sat isfied. The legal effect of the certifications is that upon its approval, the City of South Burlington may use the VCDP funds and VHCB may use the HOME program funds, and the Agency will have satisfied its responsibilities under the National Environmental Policy Act of 1969 and other envi ronmental responsibilities list ed in 24 CFR Part 58. Objections to Release of Funds The Agency will accept an objection to its approval of the release of funds and acceptance of the certification only if it is on one of the fol lowing bases: (a) that the cer tifications were not in fact executed by the Certifying Officer approved by the State; (b) that the environmental review record for the project indicated omission of a required decision, finding, or step applicable to the project

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in the environmental review process; or (c) any other rea son allowed under 24 CFR Part 58 Section 58.75. Objections may be addressed to the Agency of Commerce and Community Development, National Life Office Building, Drawer 20, Montpelier, VT 05609-0501. No objection received after 15 days from the date of the request for release of funds listed above will be considered by the Agency. State of Vermont Chittenden County Ss. Scott Voghell, Petitioner, vs. Martin R. Bessette and Marty Jacobs, Respondents Civil Action Docket No. SI 152-00 Cnc Summons and Order for Publication To the above named respon dents: You are hereby summoned and required to serve upon Aaron J. Goldberg, Esq., petitioner's attorney, whose address is

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233 Pearl Street, Burlington, VT 05401, an Answer to peti tioner’s Complaint for Declaratory Judgment and Memorandum in Support of Complaint for Declaratory Judgment in the above-enti tled action within forty-one (41) days of the first publica tion of this Summons, which is March 12, 2001. If you fail to do so, judgment by default will be taken against you for the relief demanded in the Complaint. Your answer must also be filed with the Court. Unless otherwise provided in Rule 13(a), your Answer must state as a Counterclaim any related claim which you may have against the plaintiff, or you will thereafter be barred from making such claim in any other action. Petitioner’s action is to recover back rent from respondents for their tenancy at a property located at 34 Clover Way, Milton, Vermont, and to obtain an order from the Court autho rizing petitioner’s attorney as

escrow agent to release escrowed funds from the sale of the property to petitioner. A copy of the Complaint and Memorandum is on file and may be obtained at the office of the Clerk of the Superior Court for the County of Chittenden, State of Vermont. If appearing from Verified Motion duly filed in the above entitled action that service cannot be made with due d ili gence by any of the methods described in V.R.C.P. 4(d) through (f) inclusive, it is hereby ORDERED that service of the above process shall be made upon Martin R. Bessette and Marty Jacobs, Respondents, by publication pursuant to V.R.C.P. 4(g). This order shall be published once a week for two consecutive weeks on January 30, 2001 in Seven Days. A copy of this Order shall also be mailed to Respondents’ last known address: 34 Red Clover Way, Milton, VT 05468. Dated at Burlington, Vermont this 23rd day of January, 2001. Hon.David A. Jenkins.

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►yoga ASTANGA YOGA at Shelburne Athletic Club. Yoga Vermont instructors. Beginners: Mondays at 6:30pm, mixed/ open: Sudays at 9:30am. $9.00/class or $80.00/ten punch pass. 985-2229. UNION ST. STUDIO: Yoga seven days a week. 306 S. Union St., Burlington. Please call 860-3991. Quality instruction in comfortable, relaxing, supportive environ ment.

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name on card______________________________ expiration date (MM/YYYY) _ l_ l / _ l_ l_ l_ l please note: refunds cannot be granted for any reason, adjustments will be credited to the advertiser’s account toward future classifieds placement only, we proof read carefully, but even so, mistakes can occur, report errors at once, as seven days will not be responsible for errors continuing beyond the first printing, adjust ment for error is limited to republication, in any event, liability for errors (or omissions) shall not exceed the cost of the space occupied by such an error (or omis sion). all advertising is subject to review by seven days, seven days reserves the right to edit, properly categorize or "decline any ad without comment or appeal.

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THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE

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Submit your 7D classified by mail to: PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402- 1164 or on-line at www.sevendaysvt.com

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SEARCHING FOR SOULMATE. LATE 40’S,

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DWPF attractive, personable. Enjoy biking, sailing, travel, & dining out. Seek emotional ly secure M for companionship & possible LTR 3119

hea 1 in | PERSON TO PERSON. Ad suggestions: age range, interests, ■ lifestyle, self-description. Abbreviations may be used to indicate | gender, race, religion and sexual preference. SEVEN DAYS reserves thr] right to edjfror"reject any advertisement. Personal ads may be submits ■ d seeking, persons over 18 years of age.

SWPF, NEW TO AREA. I’VE GOT A CAR, IF you’ve got a sense of adventure. Travel/outdoors/around town. ISO partner in explo ration. Patience, sense of humor necessary 3081

personal abbreviations

OH ROMEO, WHERE FOR ART THOU ROMEO.

A=/)sian, B = Biack, Bi^Bisexual, C=Christian, CU = Couple, D=Divorced, F=Female, G=Gay, H=Hispanic, ISO=ln Search Of, J=Jewish, LTR=l_ong-Term Relationship M^Male, Ma=Married, ND=No Drugs, NS=Non-Smoking, NA=No Al cohol, P=Professional, S=Single, TS=Transsexual, W=White, Wi=Widowed, YO=Years Old

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I- 8 O O - 7 IO - 8 7 2 7 to charge directly to your credit card $i.99/minute. must be 18

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1 -9 0 0 -3 7 0 -7 1 2 7 $i.99/minute. must be 18+

This, Juliet, is actually: simple Sue, Extra vagant Eloise and the WD40 maiden in one. Kids, no time, but a constant longing. 3078

FUN LOVING, SWPF, 40. ISO 0UTD00..3 oriented, SWM, 35-43, (Chittenden County) who enjoys mountain tops, bookstores, West Wing, cooking, travel, Labrador retrievers, coffee and kids for a committed, comfortable relationship. 3319

Open 24 hours!

woman Aaakinq m m PASSIONATE, CURLY-HAIRED, INTELLECTUAL, 40s, SWF, who loves music & dance. ISO honest, warm-hearted M w/good sense of humor to share cooking, gardening & life in the country. 5688

DF, 3 3 , REMEMBER THE OLD TUNES AND ways? Want the table turned in a new world way? Then give it one more chance. 5687 SWF, 34 , 5 ’ll", AUBURN HAIR, BLUE EYES, fit, fun & feisty. Seeking, NS/ND, adventur ous M for dating. Only athletic men who want a powerful yet genuine woman need apply. 5685

SPUNKY, SPF, 30 s, SKIER, PETITE, ATHLETIC. fun, health conscious, intuitive, vegetarian, focused. Enjoys traveling, adventure, moun tains. ISO, SPM, similar qualities, commu nicative, open, patient, emotionally mature, sensitive, positive, spiritual, fit, happy. 5679

looking, educated, M by responding to this ad. I’m a SWP, 44, ISO a SWF, 34-42, Burlington area that is; fun-loving, sensitive, honest 81 attractive. Carpe diem. 5668

TIRED OF BEING SINGLE. BROKEN-HEARTED

HAPPY, SWEET, SECURE, 47 YO, SJPF,

SPF, 42 , 5 ’5 ”, 125 LBS. I LIKE FAST CARS &

too many times. F, 28, attractive, seeks M, 30-38, who enjoys dining out, movies, & long talks. 2953 loud music, dancing, dining & entertaining. Mostly I enjoy working around my house in the country & want someone to share this.

SEEKING A RUGGED, ATTRACTIVE, S/DWM,

2945 ACTIVE, ENGAGING, PF, 42 , LOVES OUT-

35-48, NS, who works hard and plays hard. I’m a SWF, young 38, loves animals, rock/blues, sports, reading & much more! 3306

doors. Seeks exuberant, self-aware, NS, PM w/slim, athletic build, sense of humor, pas sion for life. XC skiing, snowshoeing, nature, films, music. WA county environs. 2943

DWF, ISO GOOD-LOOKIN’, HEART & SOUL, always & forever, fish frying, floor mopping, sexy bathroom kisser, friend, hot tub tunes &. sex. Lost the old one forever. 3304

Successful, outdoorsy bookworm in jeans & sweater. ISO F, w/similar interests, risk taker. Challenge me and be rewarded w/warmth, probity, honesty, affection.5676

DWPF YOUTHFUL, ATTRACTIVE, 40S, FOOD &

tennis, biking, rollerblading. Active and trim. Enjoy music, theatre, travel, dining and life! ISO, M, 54-64, w/srmilar interests and posi tive attitude.3310 petite and pretty. ISO a lovely M, 40-53, who is brave, smart, and lovey. 3309

SWM, 38 , BRIGHT, HANDSOME, FIT, CURI-

build. Enjoys movies, working out, good wine, physical activities. Seeks similar, slen der, passionate, attractive F, in Central VT/NE Kingdom area for romance, more. 5674

swap mixed tapes. The soundtrack to my life includes: Emmylou Harris, Daniel Lanois, Gillian Welch, Elvis Costello, Jonathan Richman, Innocence Mission, Bill Monroe, Roy Orbison.2954

HIGH ENERGY, FUN LOVING WPF, SKIER,

SWM, 39. Seeks sensuous, attractive lady who understands occasionally correcting her behavior is both necessary & needed. Casual or LTR. Sense of humor a plus. 5678

SEXY, ATTRACTIVE, WM, 41 , W/MUSCUIAR

ROMANCE, HIGH FIDELITY STYLE. LET &

50’S, athletic, musical, outdoorsy soul hopes this adventure might locate an educated, active, kind man. Being atone doesn’t stop her. A sidekick, maybe more? Outstanding! 3316

TALL, ATTRACTIVE, PLAYFUL, DOMINANT,

about outdoor activities. Intelligent conver sation, entertaining w/friends. You are hon est, fun-loving, monogamous, financially secure, who is avail, to share new experi ences & spontaneous travel. 3064

avid eclectic reader, Scotch, animal lover, not a mountain climber, dining out (not in). ISO good-humored, intelligent, M for philosophi cal conversation, fun & friendship. 2955

YIKES! SELLING HER SOUL VIA ADS? DWPF,

m a n A a a k in q w o m a n

SWF, ATTRACTIVE, SHAPELY, PASSIONATE

DWF 62 GRANDMOTHER, WITTY, STILL SANE,

ible to life and able to formulate new possi bilities. Open in mind, feeling & spirit. Seeks noble, confident, beloved M for greater expansion, harmony & ecstasy. 3318

$1.99 a minute, must be 18+.

laugh. Slippery moments, guitars, a good bath. Desire to explore in sacred flow, yo! Curious fire goddess, willing to grow.3077

dog lover, seal trainer, wine drinker, indoor & outdoor adventurer, centered (twisted!). ISO compassionate, spirited balance for fun & seriousness for companionship/partnership. 2958

INTERESTING, DESIRABLE, 4 o’S, F, ACCESS-

l-Q00-’ $70-7127

DWM, 3 2 , 5 ’i f , 182 , GOOD-LOOKING, works out, starting over, loyal. ISO S/DWF, NA, w/car, who’s attractive. 30-42, somewhat fit, to whisk me away sometimes, possibly forever. Wanting LTR. 5675

NOT INTO SPANKING, BUT I LOVE A GOOD

HAPPY 34 YO PF SEEKS SNOW LOVing partner. Boarder, skier, tele guys wel come. Willing to travel for first tracks (Whistler?). Dog owners, live music lovers especially sought. No tobacco. LTR possi ble. 3525

v;.

YOU CAN ACCESS A TALL, OUTGOING, GOOD-

LETS MAKE MEMORIES. WM, YOUTHFUL, 38 , good looks, build. Seeks a woman, emotion ally & physically fit who dances, likes rock, is outgoing, a great kisser, has a warm heart. 5667 BE MY VALENTINE. SWM, 46 , s’li", 165 , FIT, healthy, hard-working, good-looking, ambi tious, loves country, animals, movies. ISO attractive, fit, down to Earth, cuddly, loving F. 5666 VALENTINE’S DAY ISN’T JUST ABOUT couples & romance. Ifs also about friends & sharing. SWM, 4oish, seeks new friends. Wants to share good conversation, getting together and having fun. Over 5’8” a plus. 5665

SWM, 23 , LARGE BUILD, GOOD-LOOKING, romantic and witty. Likes sports, the out doors, sex, movies. ISO lady, any age/race, for LTR and sexual fun. Will answer all. 5663

SM, 45 , GOOD-LOOKING, W/HAIR. LITERATE, educated, wild, spiritual. Likes driving, boat ing, walking, movies, synagogue, real estate, picking berries, mowing, weed whacking, trimming & debarking. Likes to learn, can be sexy, intelligent & cute. Good psychologist. 5660 29 YO SEEKING LOTS O’ FUN. NEW TO area, 6’2”, brown hair, blue eyes. ISO active SF, to do everything from salsa to walking my dogs. Good crazy is OK, bad crazy is not. Tall slender ladies a plus. Age is of sec ond concern. I can cook & dance! I need a little romance. 5658

BRIGHT, BLONDE, BEAUTY, SWPF, LOOKING

MOTORCYCLES, BICYCLES, HARD-ROCK, JAZZ,

36 YO. ISO emotionally sound, playful, smart, available SWPM, 38-50, to laugh with, talk freely, experience romance. Living in MA, I visit VT frequently. 5677

weekends in Montreal, weekends in the woods, playing hockey, dancing, painting, quilting? Other ideas? 39, tall, fit, long hair. Looking for partner for exploration. 5656

UNVENUSLIKE, 40s, INDEPENDENT, EGALitarian, gardener/carpenter, is inquisitive, communicative, energetic, affectionate. Enjoys healthy foods, mature, simple plea sures. Can you laugh, cry, talk, listen and paddle both ends of a canoe. 5661 SWPF, ISO A REAL MAN. ARE THERE ANY out there anymore? Discreet & realism a must. I love movies and the bar. If you do not have any of these qualities, then do not respond. 5657

ADVENTUROUS, STRAWBERRY BLONDE snowboarder, 25, 5’io ”, positive thinker in search of honest, handsome SM w/sense of humor. I’m very active, love to laugh and enjoy life to the fullest! 5654

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Respond to personal ads 24 hours a day from an y to u ch tone phone! It's the pu rr-fe et w a y to avoid those pesky 900-number blocks!

ACTIVE, FRIENDLY, SHY SWM, 39 . ISO

Simply call 1-800-710-8727 and enter your cre d it ca rd number when* p ro m p te d . The service costs $ 1,99/m inute and you must b e a t least 18 to call.

younger, SWF, for fun, friendship, relation ship. Enjoy outdoors(run, ski, hike, bike) nature & quiet times. ND, NS honesty a must. Let’s talk. 5490

TALL SWF W/GOOD INTELLECT & HUMOR sought by 30+ affable, rural, multi-talented SWM. For outdoor adventures, dancing, laughter, & intimacy. 5484

DF, 37. ISO M, over 35, who is gentlemanly, honest, intelligent, affectionate, magnani mous, a huge loving heart and soul. Seeking serious LTR. 5653

SWM, 27 , TALL, HANDSOME, SOMETIMES smoker, w/penchant for relevant conversa tion & great wit. Enjoys Nick Cave, Camus’ novels, &. scotch. Seeking interested & inter esting woman, under 35, for company. 5467

SWF, 40S, ACTIVE, ENJOYS THE OUTDOORS,

50 YO SWF, BLONDE HAIR, BLUE EYES. LAID back, honest & loving smoker. Enjoys read ing & listening to music. Looking for the same & possible LTR. 5458

HONEST, HARDWORKING SWF, 30 s, OUTGOing, family-orientated w/old fashioned val ues, believes in courtship first. ISO, SW, NS, NA, eligible bachelor, w/o excess baggage, honest, committed, & true. Possible LTR.

5447 THE BEST IS YET TO BE, LOVE AFTER 50 . Attractive, sparkling, SWPF, 51, passionate about travel, adventures, theater and love. Seeks a gentleman who is intelligent, attrac tive, cultured and romantic. 3535

F for dinner and movies this winter. I enjoy spontaneity and have a list of interests as long as the next guy, but why spoil the first date? 5492 40 YO, BLONDE/BLUE, 165 LBS, DWPM, extremely fit, educated, hunter/gardener, wants to snowboard mountains and kayak rivers with someone other than his dog. ISO similar SF w/o tail! 32-45, LTR?5491

SENSUOUS, MAGICAL, WITCHY, FULL-FIGURE

movies, good conversation, gardening & the ocean. ISO that special M, who is easy-going & sincere to share interests, for LTR. 5461

SM, 34 , 5 ’io", 165 LBS, SEEKS CHARISMATIC

Dear Lola, I ’m 5 0 distraught. The woman I ’ve been in love with for the last several years always used to be a sensational dresser. Whenever we gussied up to go cut, I could always count on her to wear outrageous outfits that showed off her delightful decctletage. Nothing thrilled me more than to sit across from her at a candle lit table gazing into her orbs. But alas, / all that has changed. Cver since the Supreme Court fixed the election, my gal has been button ing up to the chin, prop er as some Daughter of the American Revolution. Must I w ait fo u r whole years before I can once again bask on the sight of her bosom? Crushed in Colchester

MOUNTAIN BIKER, COUNTRY, SKI, RIVER

; GROUNDED DREAMER SEEKS ENLIGHTENED

kayak, you and me. Winter camp outs, steep j fool. 1 recognize my idiosyncrasies, do you? terrain, warm spring breezes, summer rain. * 24 YO SWF ISO, 24-?, SPM for astounding SPF, 42, loves outdoor life, nobody’s wife. J adventure, clever conversation, flourishing 3301____________________________ : friendship, realistic romance, and more! 2931 BROWN-EYED GIRL, 2 3 , NS, SICK OF SINGLE j. SWF, 40’S, 5 ’6". ACTIVE, ATTRACTIVE life, ready for a playmate. I need my very j teacher sociable and down-to-earth. ISO own teddy bear, winter fun buddy, summer ■* fun-loving, educated, M w/old-fashioned fam playmate and year-round companion. 3298 j ily values for LTR, friendship first. Care to

SW DAD, 39 , AVE. HT./WT., SPIRITUALLY metaphysically oriented, introspective, avid reader, strong outdoor/nature collection, tooling w/inner technologies. ISO S/DF for the exploration of the mysteries of life/tove.

5463 WHAT DOES IT TAKE? SEXY, SAVVY, SIN-

music over a Guinness?2928

cere, cerebral, boom up the bass, nice up the place. Art, lit., sci., psy., mtn., sea, poet ry breathes, viva mi amore. Calling life part ner to adore. 5462

SWF, BO, AFFECTIONATE, FINANCIALLY STA-

WITH ONE CALL DWM, 38 , SMOKER, GOOD

ble M, 35-48, connected w/family & friends, involved in personal growth, playful, cre EXPLORE THE WINTER MAGIC W/AN ATTRAC- * ative, walker, snowshoer, likes to hold & be tive, healthy, down-to-earth, hip, Celt! SWPF, « held, friendship first.2925 35, ISO outdoorsy, open-minded, NS, edu* cated, creative, 30-42, SPM. Enjoy the woods, the arts, and a cozy chat. 3131

looks & build. Seeks slender F, 28-42. Call this add and find fun, laughter, passion and intimacy from a guy who has much to offer.

38 YO TALL, SWF, NS LOOKING FOR DINNER companion. Have Entertainment Book-split cost 50/50. ISO good conversation, sense of humor, over 6’ and offbeat a plus. Friends, poss. LTR. 3152_________________

• skate, xc-ski, hike, dance, listen to Irish j j * 1

Dear Crushed, Certain changes make us vulnerable, yo u r frie n d ’s sudden need to take cover may be an expression of some very well ju stifie d anxiety. Help her keep her hope alive by reassuring her j that, come what may, you’ll still be there fo r her. And keep your fin gers crossed fo r the m id term elections. Love, ^ M

5452

Or respond t h e o ld -fa sh io n ed w ay: CALL THE 9 0 0 NUMBER.

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february 7, 2001

SEVEN DAYS

‘ page 21b Mi

don’t want a charge on your phone bill? call 1 -800-710-8727 and use your credit card. men Aeekinq women, coni.

JERRY’S DEAD, PHISH SUCKS. LET ME TAKE

GWF, 35 YO, 5 ’7 ”, 130 LBS., RELATIVELY

you out to lunch at Mirabelles.3o63________

new to Central VT. Likes outdoors, sports, playing board games & quiet times at home. ISO new friends, 30-45. Something may develop.3326

39 YO, FEELS LIKE 29 YO (MOST DAYS). SINCERE, HONEST DWPM, LOOKING TO

Works hard at staying healthy/happy. Likes all outdoor activities, riding anything w/twowheels, cooking, painting. 6’ tall, long-hair, you? 3061______________________ _________

meet an attractive lady 40/50 for a new life based on trust, openness, honesty. I am attractive, fit & active. Love outdoors and simple things in life. 5450__________________

SUBMISSIVE PS WANTED, MA OR S, NEED A

ROMANCE ISN'T DEADI IT’S ONLY SLEEPING. DWM, 31, NS, ND. ISO-SF, 24-34, to help me remember what passion, romance, love and a thirst for living are like.3324_____________

24 YO SWM IN MONTPELIER. ISO SOCIALLY/ environmentally minded, creative woman, near same age, who enjoys poetry, music, biking, showshoeing, thoughtful philosophi cal talks. Please be reflective about your thoughts/feelings.3055

FOR SOMEONE WHO AIN'T QUITE RIGHT AND always will be. Laugh, chuckle, wine, joke, 27-32 YO. Thinking person who talks to her self. Because, I don’t know nothing and always will. 3323

VERY HANDSOME, ATHLETIC, SUCCESSFUL IN arts. My gorgeous wife and I both enjoying going out with others occasionally. Works for us. Would like smart, very attractive, togeth er playmate to spoil. 3052

IF YOU WERE TO IMAGINE YOUR IDEAL lover, strong but gentle, confident/not con trolling. Someone to pay attention to your moods, desires, fantasies. SW” D, good-looking, in-shape seeks similar SW F(27-37).3322

ATTRACTIVE WM, 40'S. HEALTHY & Dis creet seeking F for friendship and affection only. Must be well kept and spontaneous. All that respond will be called. 3049_______

DWPM, 3 5 , NS, ND, ACTIVE, HONEST, SINcere. Multiple outdoor interests. Also enjoy movies & music. ISO companion to share experiences. 30-45, friends, possible LTR.

SWM, 4 3 , ISO SWF, WHO LIVES FOR RECI-

33£_____________ __________ __ SHY BUT FUNNY SWM, 2 3 . SEEKS CUTE BUT complex F, 18-28, for good times and possi ble LTR. Race, weight unimportant. Interests include reading, music, art, British comedy, sci-fi, cinema. 3315

procity, affection, boundaries, confirmation, openness, honesty, sensuality, vulnerability, integration, interdependence, enhancement, consistency, and healthy enmeshment. LTR possible. Meaning is the fulfillment of dreams. 3046

SINGLE DAD, HAVING TAKEN A COUPLE OF

SPM, 6’4” ,205 lbs., W/BROAD RANGE OF

SWPM, BIKER GUY! SPRING IS COMING. Looking to share country roads w/SWF, 3545, on my new hot rod cruising cycle. Also enjoy cooking, sending flowers, writing love letters & honest, meaningful conversation. 3300_____________________________________

ISO SF, 18-25 YO, for discreet good times. I can keep a secret if you can. 2952

about meeting someone who could make life very good? Me too! SWM, 33, 6’, 180, fit, very cute, healthy living, confident, outgoSWPM, 29 , ATTRACTIVE, ATHLETIC, LOVE ing, spontaneous, spirited, ambitious. 3297 : V T’s mtns & waterways. ISO an honest, fit & emotionally mature woman. 2935 SWM, 26 . SEEKING 2 3 -3 2 , F, FOR FUN Dis creet times! Not looking to beat around the ; NOT ANOTHER SINGLE YEAR. SWM, 35 , bush, I know what I want, do yc j ? Must not ; outdoorsman, loving, caring, good cook. be afraid to try new things!3155____________ : Seeking SWF, similar interests, friends or LTR. Family interested and oriented. 2926 WANT TO HAVE SOME FUN? I’M 6’l ”, 195 lbs., fit. I love good wine, sushi, snowboard- ; WELL AND BROADLY EDUCATED, SELFing, quiet nights at home and making food ; employed man w/sophisticated wit and with friends. Anything sound interesting? ; eclectic interests seeking repartee, many 3151_______________________________________ : small adventures, empathy, deepening with SEARCH YOUR FEELINGS. SWM, ATHLETIC, ; woman 45-55. At 59, the last Beatnik not the first hippie. 2920 vegetarian, 39. Would like to play outside, ; sing, dance, laugh, philosophize, dine, ; DWM, HAVING SUCCESSFULLY RAISED A explore, create with you and your friends. I ; family, I find myself newly part of the dating seek eventual LTR. References available.3141 ; scene. I would like to find a confident lady ISO FIT, HANDSOME F, 40 s, WHO IS COMj to give me a guided tour. My treat. 2783 passionate, wise, emotionally available and < willing to explore the challenges of a quality < relationship. Me: 46, fit, ruggedly handsome, * kind, honest, playful and hopeful.3134 »

women Aeekinq women

WINTER FUN! DWM, 40’S, 5 *9 ", 150 LBS., youthful, engaging, appealing, open-minded. Likes outdoor activities, Burlington night life, laughing, movies, sunsets, travel, photography, crop circles. Seeking companion to share fun times with. 3073

j GWF, 3 1 , ISO, 25-37 YO, LIKES MUSIC, * < 2 ‘ «

dancing, movies, laughing, giving/receiving back rubs & more. We can be friends then maybe LTR in the future. You never know? Try! 5485

Perso nal of the W eek receives a gift certificate for a FREE Day

TIRED OF STEREOTYPES? GWM, 36 , 6 ’, 180 , ; athletic, straight acting, writer/performer, : adventurous, educated, creative and kinky. Seeks similar eclectics, 20-45, for friendship ; and possibilities. 5683

Hiker’s Guide to VT from

2 5 , 5 ’io ”, PO SIT IV E THINKER IN SEARCH OF HONEST, HAN DSO M E SM W .SEN SE OF HUMOR. I’M V ER Y A C TIV E, LOVE TO LAUGH AND ENJOY LIFE TO THE FULLEST.

SWM, 3 7 , VERY HANDSOME, FIT. ETERNALLY bi-curious virgin seeking just right, slim & pretty, WM, 18-28, to introduce me to every thing and anything. Nothing to lose, every thing to gain. 5682

GWM SEEKS VALENTINE. DON’T LET THIS

: GUITARIST W/ORIGINAL MATERIAL SEEKS

guy w/a life, friends & interests who wants someone to share them with and would like to share mine. 2951

pother musicians for accompaniment. My •focus is intuitive with an explorative edge, ‘ plugged in, time limitations on my part. “ Flexible all around a must.3140

LOOKING FOR A STRAIGHT ACTING, HAIRY-

GWM, 42 YO, 5’9”, 190 LBS., BL, BC LOV-

upper for value realignment, hang-up removal, equipment instruction and package delivery. Photo of tools a plus.2940

FAVORITE MEN: JUNG, JOSEPH CAMPBELL,

you-5448 ____________________ GM, 60, NEW TO ST. ALBANS & VT. WOULD like to meet GM of similar age for dinner, movies, etc. 3325

GWM, 30 , IN PLATTSBURGH. 5 ’, 213 LBS. ISO honest, GWM, 25-35, for friendship or LTR. Please no games. 3314 I AM FEELING “WILLOW" FOR THE PROMISE

MID 30 ’s SMOOTHIE ISO, RUQGED, FIXER-

SUBMISSIVE M SEEKS DIRTY, NASTY, Daddy/Master who can be ripe & raunchy. 2937

‘ BORED IN BURLINGTON. WHERE ARE THE •artists, thinkers, sweet wine drinkers, poets, •painters, sculptors, writers, readers, indigl nant ravers, and spirit seekers? Any age, any •creed, any thing, inspiring friends needed.

I 3129____________________________ JCHUBBY, ANDROGYNOUS, 40 ISH, NS. ISO •non-psychotic, spiritual, long-haired, manly •yet sensitive M for adventures of the mind, •body and heart. 3121

• STOP CABIN FEVER! ADDISON CO. HUSBAND, •45, wife 50, seek smart, social, mature, non “jealous CU for enlightened conversation, •good wine, movies, fun in our outdoor hot •tub. 3056

o it w i CROSS DRESSER, EARLY 50 s, ATTRACTIVE, gentle soul, sensual, spiritually inclined, now integrating feminine/masculine seeks sensu al, passionate, compassionate, CU, 45-75, to usher me into the feminine experience of love. 5662

WE HAVE A BOAT BUT WE NEED A RIDE. Two Fs desperately seeking help towing a 22 ’ sailboat out West this summer. Shared expenses and compensation.5655

• VERY ATTRACTIVE PCU, ATHLETIC, WELI 1 educated. ISO kindred spirits. She loves ‘ younger, hip guys, both love women, late ! nights, long dinners. Like couples welcomed. 2We’re fun, funny, very relaxed about this.

>3053__________________

Three Grooms and a Funeral

fit the party, a quack clergyman called Reuerend Jerald Justice conducts a made up ceremony. cA mJ

J o y o u CArloS TAKE You TiM ANP Y o u J a Son To H ave Sc To HOLP, To Honor &To OBEY. To OWN PETS ANP To G o To H ome PFPoT ANP To P ic k up T/iE occa S / o n a i H oT GUY For A STEAMY GO0PT1ME ESPfciA£tY when on Vacation?

efic_orher(§5eThANGreen .cotn

page 22b

SEVEN DAYS

february 7, 2001

JFRENCHMAN, MM, ARTISTIC, VERY ATTRACItive, in great shape, insatiable. ISO attrac t iv e , sensual, adventurous woman for ! steamy, passionate relationship.2956

SO MANY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN ENJOY MAK-

of a date with that special someone. That’s a “made-up” metaphor for making new friends and having celebrations.3313

ing a handsome, intelligent, independent man feel like a subjugated boy. Why can’t I find one who’ll do the same to me? I need discipline. 5488

lA f ilf

60+, BEEN THERE, DID THAT. LOOKING FOR companionship, conversation, new interests, great physical shape, feel and act 40, work ing full-time. Extra bed for over night guests. Breakfast included. 3147

CU W/MILD CABIN FEVER INTERESTED IN your ad and your hot tub. Prof., healthy, same age bracket. Look forward to a good movie and wine.3308

BILL, WE MET 2/3 AT MILLENNIUM. I WANT ED to get your number but my friend want

BIWM, 45 , 5 ’8”, 150 LBS. SEEKING A Bl OR GM for friendship & fun. Must be safe & dis creet. 3135

BIMWM, 26 , BROWN HAIR & EYES, 5 ’9", 220 lbs. Looking for a BiWM, med. build, 23-35, uncut a plus. Must be disease free & short hair and live in the Essex, Williston, Colchester area. Looking for noon time bed fun. 3075

PCU ISO BiF, ATTRACTIVE, PETITE, PERSON who enjoys traveling, the beauties of a child, social exchanges and erotic fulfillment. Let us also provide many comforts of life special lady. 3299

SWM, 3 5 , ISO F, 45 -6 5 , WHO WOULD ENJOY erotic encounters & friendship w/(com)passionate, open-minded, safe, clean & discreet man. Must be clean. Burlington area. 3145

ed to talk more about buying a bike. Interested in getting coffee sometime?5686

RANDA, YOU ARE THE ANGEL OF MY dreams, my soulmate. Call me, in LA, please. We are destined to spend eternity together. Ben. 5684

YOUR INITIALS ARE J.M., AND YOU CALLED Winter Fun on Sunday, Jan. 28. Please call me again & leave your phone number this time so we can.talk about possibilities.5673

The M ostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green Tim, Carlos and Jason Chang are together again. They are throwing themselues a party.

B fc * o* x f f

SPGWM, 3 7 , SEEKS COMMUNICATIVE GAY

chested, muscular, hard working, type of guy for a little hot, discreet, private man to man contact. 2944

Matthew Fox, Harry Hay, Will Roscoe, St. Francis, Black Elk, Chief Seattle, Hans Christian Anderson, Wilde, Dickens, Lewis Carroll, Buddha, Jesus, Rumi, Magritte &

and a $ 2 5 gift certificate to

5^54

tile, or exclusive BB top relationship orient ed. You don’t have to be out or discreet; just affectionate, heavy libido, avail. & com fortable v^ith gay. 5481

Dark-hair & eyes, trimmed beard, muscular, discreet, masculine. ISO bears/cubs w/similar qualities for hot winter fun. Chittenden area. Call or write. 5449

used • closeout • new 191 Bank St., Burlington 860-0190

Dog Team Rd., Mlddlebury 388-7651

BB BOTTOM, 41 , 5 *7 -, 155 LBS. ISO VERSA-

ing, looking for one-on-one’s, groups, fun times w/the right person. Will answer all. Take a shot, you will enjoy it. 5454

•Tire Outdoor Gear Exchange

THE DOG TEAM TAVERN

Valentine’s Day slip by without a man next to you. I’m caring, sincere, honest, lonely, 35, romantic. Let’s get together for some fun. 5681

CUTE SUBMISSIVE BEAR CUB, 34 , 6’, 16 5 .

PROFESSOR, ARTIST, METAPHYSICIAN, 53 , DM, loving, sensitive, caring, articulate. Seeks life companion, preferably younger, petite, bright, sweet, gentle, calm, rational, no perfume, no makeup. NS. 2948

LIFE’S GOOD, BUT STILL DAYDREAMING

men Aeekinq men

5659___________________________

SWM, 24 YO, GOOD-LOOKING, 5 ’9 ”, 165 lbs.

iA o n c t l W ■ m

ADVENTUROUS, STRAWBERRY BLONDE SNOWBOARDER.

creative, sexy, psychologically & physically fit, PBiF, early 40’s. Seeks, NS, F companion, 37-47. Let’s check out local art exhibits, xcountry ski. 2950

COULD IT BE YOU? SPGWM, 38 , SEEKS FABulous, witty, smart or stylish guy for dinner, conversation, dancing, perhaps LTR. Interests galore. 6’, 190 lbs. Discretion OK, be clean-cut, fun, communicative. All RSVP.

interests & abilities. Seeking artful beauty w/ mischievous, pensive intellect & a balance of integrity & rationality to share continuous growth & intimacy. We are 43 or Inss, very fit & healthy. 2957

years of solitude and innerspection, now have my heart healed. I am ready to grow again in community with another soul in a similar situation. 3307_____________________

$1.99 a minute, must be 18+.

w EN s e e k i n g w o m e n

SINCERE, SPIRITUAL, PASSIONATE, WILD,

RETURNED FROM TAOS. 46 YO M, CURRENTly P w/lapses into the artistic, looking to lis ten and be heard. ISO emotionally strong, physically healthy, socially adventurous lover of life. 3058

little discipline in your life? Safe, discreet, 43 YO M, start the journey.3524_______________

p W

HAPPY-GO-LUCKY, GWF, 31 . IN SEARCH OF friends, maybe more. Looking to reconnect with the community! Likes to travel, the out doors and movies! 3080

31 M, SEEKS EASY-GOING F, 18 -23 , FOR long nights of heavy drinking & raging sex. You must be between 5’4”-5’8” and not more than 125 LBS. No fat pigs. Other requirements include; willingness to degrade oneself and/or become slave. 3059__________

25 YO SM, ARTIST, MUSIC AND BOOK lover. ISO 22-28 YO F. You must be smarter than me, (not too hard, really). Humor, kind ness, and a strong philosophical outlook are important. 3527___________________________

24 hours a day!

Its an Engagement. The Uledding is penciled in for a year from today.

Carlos’s Grandma, Dona filuarez, is in from lUexico DF. She is a bit underinformed..

byericorner Uncle Junior Soprano couldn’t haue planned a more perfect shakedown.

Sadly, comprehension 6 deliuerance arrive for Dona flluarez simultaneously.

Jason corners Ethan by the punch bowl. Hisses a warn ing. The two of them trick ed secretly a while back.

to respond to a personal ad call 1-9 0 0 -370 -7127 we’re open 24 hours a day! i Apy, card. NORTH STREET BIKER. YOU DIDN’T respond to my last ad. Where have you been? I’ve missed seeing you bike in your classy gear. Could we have dinner?5672

YOU: WORK AT WATERFRONT VIDEO, I’M

CHICKENBONE BOY YOU MAKE ME HAPPIER

GOOD-LOOKING WAITRESS AT SOUPS N

sure your name is Dan. You suggested I rent some midget on a motorcycle movie and the movie “Gothic”. Redhead in leopard skin hat.3321

than a spiced squash. I miss your fluted fin gers and beautiful face. I’ll be bruising rose petals until we meet again! 3148___________

EILEEN IVERS SHOW. YOU HAD LONG HAIR,

the sea. All I want is you. You’re my every thing. You and me together, forever. I love _______ you! Bethie Girl. 3146

Greens on Friday 1/12. I came in around 2pm for lunch, you waited on mq, we could not keep ourselves from staring at each other, could there be something there? I missed you, but another waitress took over, would like to know if we could meet discreetly and socially?3i25 ___________

PING-DON’T CARE ABOUT OTHER FISH IN

and sat in row G. We only had a chance to briefly say hello and goodbye, but I sensed a kindred spirit.3320

1/ 26 , WE MADE EYE CONTACT & SMILED, AS you snuck into the movie after your friends. I complimented you on your moves after wards. Care to sneak into another some-

told you lately that we love you? Here’s to our upcoming one year anniversary, its been divine. XXOO, Miss P. and Bobo. 3312

1/28 BRISTOL BAKERY. CLAIRE, YOU’RE SO sweet. I totally fell for you. I’m always that shy, you just knocked me off my feet! Meet again? Pen pal? Joshua. 5670_______________

KATE, WE’RE THE BRATS WHO MESS UP your apt. when you’re not there. We love you and wish you a happy birthday. Prrr...meow, Friedel and Maxi. 3142

ROME AND JEWELS, 1/ 19 . DARK-HAIRED beauty w/nose ring in center balcony. Your view was blocked by big hair. I offered you my seat, but would have rather shared. 3311

ATTENTION, DARK-EYED CHEROKEE. DO

MY ELIZABETH-ANNE. MY LOVE FOR YOU transcends both the time & distance. I’m thinking of you always 81 fall deeper in love with you every time you speak. Can’t wait to _____ be with you again soon! 5664

FROM A CHAIR LIFT TO THE BEACH, WON-

that I dig you today? -KChristabel3303

: YOU: BLONDISH, SEXY, BRITISH. ME:

ness, enthusiasm resulted in overeager blathering heel, a distracted blowhard jokester, regretful of disappointing impression. Really would like to learn more about Nepal, White River, Toyota trucks. 3526

* t I *

STEVE, 1/ 22 / 01, EVENING AT THE O.P. YOU: handsome Scotsman. We were introduced and met briefly. Want to meet again? Obviously I would. Fondly, Am ie.3523

To respond to Letters Only ads: Seal your response in an envelope, write box # on the outside and place in another envelope with $5 for each response. Address to: PERSON TO PERSON c/o SEVEN DAYS, P.0 . Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402

my life in Bobby Brady stripes, puppy paja ma pants and backwards baseball cap. I’m the luckiest bug ever! 3130

VPB, WE TALKED ABOUT THE PERSONALS,

ELY, FROM HUNTINGTON. I HAVE YOUR

read I Spy. I said I’d place an ad for you, here it is. Want to make snow angels with me? 3149

light covers; you disappeared. Let me know how to find you. 3128

23 YO GM TRAPPED IN A WOMAN’S BODY. ISO SM who will cum & open their Christmas present early. Includes hot candle wax, love oils & edible undies. Box 845

SwM, 47 , BRN HAIR/EYES. I AM LOYAL,

* l t *

You’ve stolen my heart w/your enchanting face. I now believe in love at first sight, please respond and make my dreams come true. 3060

J you’re doing during the first seconds of the ’ New Year, you’ll do throughout the coming r. I hope that’s true for us. 2924

MATURE SWF, NS, PRIVATE, PASSIONATE,

honest, faithful gentleman. ISO a slim, sexy, loyal, faithful F who desires a best friend, lover, soulmate. Enjoys quiet nights, dining out. Send photo. Box 866_________________

ISO INTELLIGENT, OUTG61 NG SF t 6 SHARE outdoor activities, local events, travel, fun 81 adventure. Looking for emotionally & finan cially secure, 40+, NS friend and/or possible LTR. Box 883______________________________

SWM, 54 , WRITER, MANAGER OF NON-PROF-

LOOKING FOR GAY FRIENDS. I AM A DWJF,

it tennants group. Doing intensive organiza tional work seekd F, any age, who can follow his lead for the long term, public & private. Box 867 _______________________________

54, NS, educated, many interests; exercise, reading, travel, biking, dining out. ISO NS, honest, open, for friendship or whatever develops. Box 879_______________________

PRETTY PROFESSIONAL WITH A TWINKLE IN

MWM SEEKS MF OR SF FOR DISCREET EN-

GWF, 3 2 , SMOKER. ISO SOMEONE I CAN

ADVENTUROUS, SPIRITED, YOUNG AT HEART,

her eye, into painting, reading & aerobic dancing, is looking for a gentleman, 51-69, who’s intellectual, aware & loving & can twinkle back! Box 830____________________

counters, days/evenings. Age, looks, race unimportant, passion is. Let’s meet over a coffee. Box 872. ______________________

love and they can love me back. Someone I can share life with because life is too short. I’m honest & caring. Box 877 _____________

loves music, entertainment, dancing, cook ing, dining out, books, movies, travel, dogs, sun. Creative, fit, attractive, caring, P, has morals, 4o’s. Do you match? Box 886_______

23 YO, ATTRACTIVE SWF, WHO LOVES DANcing, sports, driving, cuddling & adventure. Sorry, country music not inch ISO SM, 18-30 w/same interests & sense of humor. Box 827

INCARCERATED HANDSOME FRENCH CARIBB-

28 YO SWF ISO 30 + SWF FOR FRIENDSHIP & more. I’m looking for honesty, love and affection. We’ll take on the world together., let the adventure begin! Box 849

ean, 32, 5’u ”, 180 lbs., muscular. Sexy chocolate w/dreadlocks. Fluent in French, Patois 81 Brooklynese. Retired Bad Boy. Release 2001. ISO intelligent, honest, crunchy not country SF. Box 850____________

SWF, 21 , 5’2 1/ 2 ”, RED HAIR, GREEN EYES.

men

HANDSOME M, 40, STRONG BUILD, 5 ’io”, 185 lbs. Friendly, gentle, outgoing but demanding schedule. Desires fit F for good friendship, discreet encounters. Youth age or Ma, no barrier. Honesty, security, closeness. Box 851__________________________________

MY VALENTINE IS MY SOULMATE. GENTLE,

seeks SM, any race, 30-37, 5’io ” and taller. Brains a plus, but muscles a must. Will reply to all who send a recent photo. Box 880

SF, 58 , LOOKING FOR A TRUCK DRIVER. I enjoy c&w, reading, travel, eating out, going to the movies, animals. Looking for a lasting friendship, can’t be married. Box 874_______

PSWF, MUSIC, ART, PHOTOGRAPHY, NATURE, poetry, laughter, cats. ISO NS, ND, NA, loyal, secure, honest, caring, sensitive, supportive, patient, M, 40-56. Friends first. Law enforcement 8./or “artistic” a +. Rut, area. Box 873

caring, 81 sharing. Little Bi girl trapped in an ugly 45 yo M body. Searching for my sister/ playmate. Naps, gentle kink. Interested? Box 878__________________________________

SWM, 44 , BLUE EYES W/SO MUCH MORE.

to meet men w/varied interests, indoor & outdoors. Conversation, walks, good cook, free most evenings & some days. Box 882

BIWM, 5 ’5 ", 140 LBS., ISO DOMINANT M. I enjoy B&D, S81M, W/S, willing to please. I can be your toy to play with 81 make fun of. Will answer all. Box 847___________________

SWM, 36 , NS, LAID-BACK, INTELLIGENT, FIT,

women ree

very good listener, sensitive, secure, hard worker, open-minded, healthy. Enjoys the outdoors. Middlebury area. Box 885

music, movies &. dining. If interested please respond. Box 870

box numbers can be contacted either through voice mail or by letter.

can only be contacted by letter. Send letter along w / LOVE IN CYBERSPACE. POINT YOUR WEB BROWSER TO

PBGH7BTOWN. NOT: SLIM, GORGEOUS, degreed or wealthy, but a genuine good woman, 50’s, musical, artistic, kink-froiendly, NA, NS, ND, seeks a “like” male, safe, sane, discreet, clean, possible LTR. Box 846

DWF, 50 s, QUEEN/TALL, EMPLOYED, LONG walks, creativity, bibliophile, movies, con certs, NS, ND, good reputation, seeking same in kind, caring M. Safe, sane, discreet, dean. “Kinky” a plus. Possible LTR. Box 876 BIM, s ’ 5 n . 140 LBS., SAFE, CLEAN & Dis creet. ISO Cu who would like to slave to toy with. S81M, B&D, w/s OK. i take orders real well. Box 869_____________________________ INCARCERATED, 39 , NON-VIOLENT, SUBMISsive WM. Happiness is: dominant, heavyset, wealthy woman, 30-50, to feminize me and teach me how to be the woman I crave to be. Box 856______________________________

MWM 40, ISO CU FOR CLEAN, SAFE, INTImate fun. Central to Northeast VT. Very dis creet. Let’s trade letters. Box 853

SGWM, ST. ALBANS-AREA, 5 ’ 10 ", 230 LBS. sincere, quiet ISO SGM, 30-40S, honesty first. LTR only. I have much to offer, are you the one? D/D free, smoker OK. Box 848

SWF, 50 s, SEEKING FRIENDSHIP. I AM A

SWF, 30 , ISO SWM, 25 -3 5 , WHO ENJOYS

& M who’d like to go dancing, to the movies or easy hiking. Expamd the circle of friends. Box 864 _____________________________ _

I’VE SEEN 60 . IN GREAT SHAPE. WOULD LIKE

Southerner, 5’u ”, 200 lbs., in good shape. Enjoys camping, boating, fishing and dance. ISO open, honest, friendship first. Explore the depths of a labyrinth heart. Box 852

Tired of the bar scene. Looking for a warm, gentle, understanding F willing to take that chance. Box 871__________________________

SF, 50 . LETS PUT TOGETHER A GROUP OF F

30 YO GWM IN SEARCH OF A GOOD-LOOKing M who’s in shape and over 40. I love the outdoors, alpine adventure, fishing 8t summertime fun. Shy type a plus. Box 884

SM, 42 , ARTISTIC, POETIC, ROMANTIC

fun. Seeking similiar, SF, for occasional x-c or snowshoe exploration. Could lead to hiking, canoeing, ping-pong, who knows? Plattsburgh or Burlington areas. Box 865

4 digit

fo r a ll your Hallmark Holiday needs and desires.

; AARON, I’VE HEARD THAT WHATEVER

going to the movies, eating out. Looking for a lasting friendship. Can’t be married. He can drive an i8-wheeler. Box 887_______________

REDHEADED WOMAN, TALL, LATE 30 S,

SEVEN DAYS Personals

: SPIKE-HAIRED BEAUTY IN FREESTYLE SALON.

SF, LOOKING FOR A M WHO ENJOYS C&W,

Enjoys the outdoors, country, rock/pop . music, movies, animals. ISO SWM, 24-30, who is honest and considerate. Box 881

Consult the

12 / 22 , I FOLLOWED YOU INTO THE MALL garage. Saw you later at Stone Soup. You sat by the window and were beautiful. B/T/W she and I are just friends. 3062_____________

I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYES...THE LOVE OF

Hopelessly infatuated. Thanks for letting me borrow your books so often. There must be some kind of way outta here. Call me.3302

pensive, political, perceptive, particular, Drawn to beaches, books, theater, music, labyrinths, fantasy and family. Please, don’t assume anything. Box 843________________

women Aeekinq men

BIKING ON NORTH STREET DAILY. YOU REcently changed your attire. I like it! Care to ________ ' tango? Watch for me. 3076

der where we’ll end up next? I’ll eat conch worms with you anytime.3132

HEY THERE EBSINFERNO! HAVE I TOLD YOU

HEATHER: APOLOGIES. EXTREME NERVOUS-

reflection of perfect beauty. I was enthralled! As hard as I tried I couldn’t get your atten tion. Hope to see you again. 3079

Metronome, 1/13 at Red Square. Lost you when your parents left. Hope your sister will ring Boston. Give me another shot, call soon. Not Chris. 3139

Battel you were most attractive. Immediate sensations may deceive. Grow old with me, the best is yet to be, that was the best yet! 3305

SUCK.

I SAW YOU IN MY BATHROOM MIRROR, A

SHELLY IN ADVERTISING. MET YOU 1/5 AT

REJUVENATED OR ACCELERATED AGING, AT

your people time out for cocktails and smoke signals? Guess who! 5669_______

Valentines Day doesn’t have to

1/ 16 : CUTE BLONDE AT PURE POP. YOU Lis tened to Coldplay on headphones while I stood there in my grey suit admiring your selection & your VW keys. Then you ago nized over “OK Computer” vs. “Pablo Honey.” If you bought OK, I’ll let you borrow my Pablo, honey. 3087 ____________

FIRECRACKER! HAZEL-EYED BEAUTY. MY dream believer, my homecoming queen. Soon I will have my day with you in the Western sun. Casanova in the sky! 3143

SWEET SCRATCHY CHRISTOPHE. HAVE I

time?567i

$i.99/minute. must be 18+.

digit box numbers

to PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT

h t t p ://WWW.SEVENDAYSVT.COM

05402.

TO SUBMIT YOUR MESSAGE ON-LINE.

How to place your FREE personal ad with Person to Person

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