Seven Days, February 4, 2004 by Seven Days

2A j february 04-11, 2004 I SEVENDAYS

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th e m e issue

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art art review

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R O M A N C E B R I D A L C O V E R : D IA N E S U L L IV A N [D E S IG N ] S U S A N N O R T O N [IM A G i

film review

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film clips

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flick ch ick

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film quiz

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sh o w tim es

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fe a tu re s 18A

Gift Rap Unveiling the perils of the bridal registry BY SARAH TU FF

c a le n d a r calendar listin g s

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sc en e@

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French Connection Karen Kane helps you do Paris your way BY PA M E LA PO LSTO N

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w e lln e s s

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Flower Power A pair of Stowe florists is wild about weddings B Y CATHY R E S M E R

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'Union'Made Book Rreview: Civil Wars by David Moats

sp acefin d er

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B Y D AV ID W A R N E R

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Teacher, Teacher Theater review: Educating Rita B Y D AV ID W A R N E R

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Coming Together... or Alone... or Not

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The Seven Days sex survey

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Remembering libidinous literature

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inside track BY PETER FREYNE A N IR R E V E R E N T R E A D O N V T P O L IT IC S local matters BY KEN PICARD C A L L IN G (S 0 2 ) l i k e it is hackie BY JERNIGAN PONTIAC A C A B B I E ’S R E A R V IE W health wanted BY SARAH t u ff m a k i n g b o d y - m i n d C O N N E C T IO N S tubefed BY r ick k iso na k t h e o t h e r t v g u i d e

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04A I february 04-11, 2004 I SEVENDAYS

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END GRIDLOCK

Rolling blackouts on the coldest day of the year? Windmills on our relatively unspoiled kingdom peaks? Never-ending debate over the safety of the installation of new high-voltage transmission lines? Nuclear power [“Power Plays,” January 21]? We seem to be caught in the never-ending cycle of a power-dis tribution conundrum. ... We want people to be provided with a constant source of cheap yet clean power? Seems to me we should be focusing on the weak links here. Want to do it cheaply and efficiently? Technology and outside-the-box thinking by way of a slowly spreading phenomenon: living off the grid. We struggle through catastrophe after catastro phe in dealing with centralized power generation when we should be devoting resources to allowing each independent building the ability to independently provide for the independent needs therein. Why not let the Green Mountain Republic serve as a model to the rest of the wiredependant world? Why not utilize the Burlington brain trust (UVM) in research and design of the capa bility to arrive at this far-off desti nation — real technology for real people right here at home. Isn’t that why we.subsidize the educa tional system? If we can shoot to be back on the moon by 2030, we should sure as hell be able to figure out another

D onald R. Eggert Rev. D iane Sullivan Stefan Bum beck Lindzey Draper, Jo U nw in Rick W oods Ellen Biddle Jess Cam pisi Sarah Potter Kristi Batchelder Robyn Birgisson M ichael Bradshaw M ichelle Brown Allison Davis Colby Roberts

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Marc Awodey, Colin Clary, Kenneth Cleaver, Peter Freyne, Gretchen Giles, Susan Green, Margot Harrison, Ruth Horowitz, Kevin J. Kelley, Rick Kisonak, Peter Kurth, Lola, Jem igan Pontiac, Cathy Resmer, Robert Resnik, Karen Shimizu, Sarah Tuff, David Warner, Kirt Zimmer

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way to light the bulbs and power the tubes by then. Where there’s a will, there’s a way, and right now we need those either in or aspiring to be in positions of leadership in this state to jump onboard and pilot this ship to the port of provision. Mr. Douglas? Mr. Clavelle? Mr. Shumlin? Mr. Pollina? W ert B ren n er JERICHO

BEAUTY TIPS

It was heartily disappointing to see Peter Freyne display such an unen lightened attitude towards Judith Steinberg in his column [“Inside Track,” January 21]. Freyne is hardly so pretty that he needs to be giving beauty advice to anyone, and measuring the worth of a woman by her outfit and choice of makeup has no place in an intelli gent political conversation. While it is regrettably predictable that the national media is playing the “Stand by Your Man” card, Steinberg is an accomplished and well-respected physician and deserves more respect, especially from her local newspapers. Perhaps Freyne could remedy the situation by picking a suitable lip color him self — J am §ure Steinberg could f , squeeze him in between patients. Mary E. F ratin i MONTPELIER

RADICAL REPLY

Went over to my buddy’s house the other day and he handed me a crumpled copy of Seven Days saved

W e d d in g

from the burn pile. “Hey, they. . reviewed Radical Simplicity” [“Small-Talk,” January 7]. “No way!” I exclaimed. “How was it?” “She didn’t get it,” he said, “you’ll have to read it.” After reading the review, I think Margot [Harrison] did get it. Living simply in the land of plenty can be tough. Looking deeply into our sacred cows of “more is better,” “be fruitful and multiply” and “technology will solve our prob lems,” contrasted with a finite planet, can be disconcerting. Taking stock of how unsustainable our culture really is can cause guilt, foreboding, denial, even depres sion. How can we have peace when the richest billion take 250 times the poorest billion? Why not shoot; the messenger? I can relate to Margot’s self-admitted cynicism, I have lots of those days. However, even after she says enough of it, she stays with it ’til the last line. Apply that kind of dedication to making a better world and we might get somewhere. The whole point of the book Radical Simplicity is to harness our * capacity to care, pur creativity, our . ^ knowledge and wisdbm to’create a ] / sustainable world — a world that T j works for all humanity, all species and future generations. On the material, informational and techno logical level, it has never been easier. The difficult thing is to say no to what is so easy to have. To say no to what everyone around you has...

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SEV EN DAYS w a n ts y o u r ra n ts a n d ra v es, in 2 5 0 w o rd s o r few er. L etters m u s t re s p o n d to c o n te n t in S E V E N DAYS. In clu d e y o u r full n a m e a n d a d ay tim e p h o n e n u m b e r a n d s e n d to: S E V E N DAYS, P.O. B o x 1 164, B u rlin g to n , VT 0 5 4 0 2 -1 1 6 4 . fax: 8 6 5 - 1 0 1 5 e-m a il: le tte rs @ s e v e n d a y s v t.c o m

Why did I write a positive book? Because in the darkness, adding more darkness has no effect. Besides, I experience tremendous kindness everyday. Because I see that the American dream is killing us, others and the planet. My partner... and I just returned from a 51-gig speaking tour by bicycle promoting Radical Simplicity in seven states and Canada. Completely vulnerable, on the road for 45 days, yet, man, were we styled by New England hospitality!... Instead of cynicism, I sensed enthusiasm for simplicity

and a deep desire for an authentic, meaningful life. J im M erkel EAST CORINTH

Merkel is the author ^/Radical Simplicity. ENERGY BARS

Electricity [“Power Plays,” January 21] provides us with convenience and comfort, and is essential to any business pursuit. As more homes and businesses are built, more power is needed. However, we should not assume that current methods of generation and long

distance transmission best meet our economic and environmental needs. In the year 2004, we need to look to state-of-the-art technol ogy and be forward-thinking in making decisions that affect our future economy and health. There is a viable alternative to Velco’s proposed Northwest Reliability Project. This can be found in the pre-file testimonies of expert wit nesses that are now before the Vermont Public Service Board. Paul Chernick is an energy expert and load forecaster. He reports that Velco has exaggerated

the electric load forecast “by using a load forecast that exceeds the most recent forecast for Vermont produced by NEPOL and the ISO.” Doug Hoffer is an econom ic forecaster. In his testimony, he states that the least-cost alternative to provide for our power needs is local generation and distribution of power, conservation and energy efficiency. This combination, over the next nine years, would: create 462 jobs a year for Vermonters; generate $245,000 in income tax for the state from the above employment; offer customer sav ings of $684 million; generate $7.6 million in sales and excise taxes from the money residential customers would spend due to savings on their electricity bills. It is the job of the PSB to decide whether Velco’s proposed Northwest reliability project meets the criteria of V.S.A.. 50 section 248 and if so, issue a certificate of “Public Good.” The proposed NRP would: increase our exposure to EMFs and thus possibly increase our risk of diseases associ ated with EMF (e.g., childhood leukemia); decrease property val ues along the power line; spoil our scenic views with bigger power lines; increase our electric rates. The PSB decision will affect

both the quality of life in small towns and the economy of the state. It will impact the lives of future generations. In the 21st cen tury, decisions should be informed by realistic forecasts of the need for power, advantages for Vermont’s economy, innovative technological solutions and sensible thinking. M argaret B en n NEW HAVEN

LOCAL DANGERS

[Ken Picard,] thank you so much for your articles on Yankee [“Power Plays”] and “What Lies Beneath” [“Local Matters”] in the January 21 Seven Days'. Excellent pieces! The only thing I would have added to the Yankee article is Docket No. 6812, for those who might send in comments, which will be accepted through the end of January. I will be sending in a comment to the PSB as a result. You hit it on the nose in your first paragraph of “What Lies Beneath,” pointing out that Vermont has enough dangers under the surface to endanger the health and lives of many Vermonters without worrying about Iraq’s WMD, existent or not. S y lv ia K n ig h t CHARLOTTE

CORRECTION: Last week’s “State of the Arts” column misstated the

amount of a Vermont Arts Council cultural facilities grant awarded to Lost Nation Theater. The correct amount is $4000. Our apologies for the goof.

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SEVENDAYS I february 04-11, 2004 I inside track 07A

RYJEETERJEMY A N IR R E V E R E N T R E A D O N V T P O L IT IC S

— ■

W hat Went Wrong? ur favorite presidential hopeful appears to be in free fall this week. But Ho-Ho says he’s not going down without a fight. The last report was the Fat Lady was still in the powder room. H ow ard D ean , after stinging defeats in Iowa and New Hampshire, followed by the surprise departure of his second campaign manager J o e T rippi, now says it’ll be a delegate fight all the way to the Boston convention. Wishful thinking, eh? The fact is, the Dean team is in seri

AP/W IDE W ORLD PHOTOS

ous trouble. The departure of Trippi last week demoralized the faithful. His replacement by R oy N eel, an old Al Gore crony and Capitol Hill telephone lobbyist, depressed them. Neel represents a culture shock for the hardcore Deaniacs. Unlike Ho-Ho’s previous two cam paign managers, Neel is reluctant to talk to Seven Days. He declined a request this week for an interview. Tied up in meet ings Monday and Tuesday we’re told. Could it be Ho-Ho didn’t enjoy last week’s Inside Track? Unlike Mr. Neel, Sen. J o h n K erry’s campaign manger was happy to chat with Seven Days. Assuming Dr. Dean is still standing March 2, he and Kerry will face off in the Vermont Presidential Primary. “I always knew John Kerry had what it takes to be the nominee,” said M ary B e th C ahill. “I think he’s doing the work necessary to put together a coalition of Democrats.” Mary Beth is the Kerry Cat’s second campaign manager. When she signed on, Dean was the prohibitive frontrunner. Her horse appeared to be lame. How quickly things can change, eh? Ms. Cahill attributes Kerry’s recent surge to “his enormous personal fortitude.” We can only wonder what Roy Neel would attribute Ho-Ho’s recent slide to. One thing is clear: Spirits are not very high inside the South Burlington H Q where the new campaign manager on the block presides. Would you believe that when Dean told the campaign staff last Wednesday about Neel coming on board, he actually

had no idea Trippi was about to depart? Great lines of communication, eh? First, Ho-Ho met privately in a “long meeting” with 15 to 20 “senior advisors.” Then the entire staff — about 70 strong — was called into the conference room. Dean delivered the news “in his typical short, blunt and effective way,” were told. Dean told the faithful he had $3 million in cash on hand and was $3 mil lion in debt. Since the real Ho-Ho is “Mr. Fiscal Responsibility,” he prompdy announced that paychecks would be deferred for two weeks. Since the last checks came out January 15, that went over like a lead bal loon. It appears, though, that Mr. Neel got the message. He announced this week paychecks in Dean Land will be just a couple days late. Anyway, Trippi was “hanging out in the hall” when Dean was delivering the bad news. When Ho-Ho finished, Joe strolled in and said a few nice words about Neel joining the team. Then Trippi dropped the bombshell. He announced to everyone, including Dean, that he was history. How did Howard Dean not see this coming? Who the hell’s in charge, any way? Well, K ate O'Connor is in charge. She is the slender waif who’s been hanging on Ho-Ho’s sleeve for more than a decade. You see her hovering in all the campaign clips. Don’t let her appearance, or her writing on the Dean blog about chocolate-chip cookies and other sweet things, fool you. She’s tough as nails and you do not want to cross her. As one longtime campaign staffer put it, “Kate O ’Connor is both the Gover nor’s most loyal and trusted aide and also his greatest liability.” Kate, said our campaign source, “injects herself into any and all areas of the cam paign where she thinks she needs to.” The source described O ’Connor as “a personnel disaster... Countless times she has blocked all information coming to and from Howard.” Another problem at H Q , we’re told, has been the growing ranks of the “senior advisor” staff. “We’ve got so many of these guys walking around,” said our source, “that there’s no clear structure on who’s in charge of what.” Great. Meanwhile, Dean continues to take the hits from the unfair national press. When the national media opened fire from all sides back in October, Dean simply didn’t have a press operation strong enough and quick enough to beat back the bogus, half-truth assaults on his Vermont record. Instead, all the shots hit paydirt, from the absurd story about Dean helping Enron to Dean getting secret information about banks he held stock in. And guess what? More are coming. IN S ID E T R A C K »

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Curses, Foiled Again

Police in Chesapeake, Virginia, reported that when a man handed a bank teller a note demanding money, she politely returned it to him and said, “I can’t accept this.” The man gave her the note again. “This time, she picked it up, balled it up and threw it back at him,” police representative Tommy Kullman said, adding that the man retrieved the note and walked out of the bank. • Samuel Worlin Moore, 26, pleaded guilty to attempting to rob a grocery store in Long Beach, Mississippi, after considering the evidence against him. The cashier and a witness identified

current Public Safety Secretary Edward Flynn to sell the TV.

Condiment Rage

At her trial for running over an employee at a McDonald’s in Houston, Texas, because it didn’t offer mayonnaise on cheeseburgers, Waynetta Nolan, 37, apologized, saying she was “going through a bad time in my life.” The Harris County jury sentenced her to 10 years for the assault, which Nolan insisted was an accident, although she had a prior conviction for using a car to hit her daughter’s father’s girlfriend.

news quirks

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him because of his distinctive tattoos, which included the words “not guilty.” A clerk at a convenience store recalled that a man with the same tattoos left $200 on the counter just before the robbery, then rushed back into the store for the misplaced money. A sur veillance camera recorded the incident, showing the suspects face.

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Homeland Insecurity After James P. Jajuga was appointed public safety secretary of Massachusetts, he spent $17,000 from a special antiter rorist fund to buy a 60-inch plasmascreen television for his office. The for mer Democratic state senator lost his job when Republican Gov. Mitt Romney took office. Romney directed

Winners & Losers

When the Ohio Lottery Commission declared Rebecca Jemison, 34, the winner of a $162 million Mega Millions jackpot that had been claimed earlier by a woman insisting she had the winning ticket but lost it, city officials in South Euclid, Jemison’s hometown, thought they had hit the jackpot, too. The cash-strapped city figured to collect $1.4 million in taxes on Jemison’s win nings. Jemison kept the money, how ever, because the city had failed to change its charter to allow it to tax lot tery winnings. “It’s not a good day for the city,” Mayor Georgine Welo said. “We were all excited until we went to go for the money and learned that we are not entitled to it.”

• Jack Whittaker, who won a record $314.9 million Powerball jackpot in 2002, reported that someone broke into his locked sport utility vehicle, which was parked outside his home in Scott Depot, West Virginia, and took a bag containing more than $100,000 in cash.

No Place Like Home

Kenny Bethel, 55, was ordered to leave Miami’s Palmetto Golf Course, where he lived for 40 years, when some golfers complained that his presence frightened them. He moved to the course after running away from home on Christmas Day 1963 because there were no presents for him. Since then, except for a tour of duty in the Army, he regularly slept on a bench at Hole 13, used the restrooms at night and earned money by collecting and selling balls. “This course became my job and later my home,” said Bethel, who got married nine years ago and brought his wife Francis, 43, to live with him. After being forced to relocate, the cou ple took up residence under a nearby canal bridge.

Cruel and Unusual Punishment When a judge in Turkey’s Yozgat province sentenced Alparslan Yigit, 28, to spend 90 min utes a day for a month reading in the city’s library for being drunk and dis orderly, Yigit rushed from the court room. He returned six months later to serve out his sentence, explaining that he had fled because for him reading in

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a public place was like having to wash the dishes. • Ohio Judge Donald Martell sen tenced Catherine Donkers, 29, who drove down an Interstate highway while breastfeeding her baby, to three months’ house arrest and ordered her to undergo a mental health evaluation because of her repeated defiance of law enforcement officials. Donkers, who belongs to the First Christian Fellowship for Eternal Sovereignty, a religious group known for its disregard for government authority, denounced the sentence as “absurd” and declared, “The evils of tyranny are only seen by those who resist it.” • After a jury in Beaumont, Texas, awarded Deborah Hayes more than $1.3 million for heart damage she suf fered from using the weight-loss drug fen-phen, she asked that the award be reduced by more than half. According to her attorney, Jim Morris Jr., the lower figure has a better chance of withstanding an appeal by the defen dant, fen-phen maker Wyeth-Ayerst Laboratories. P e e k -a -B o O Veterans of Israeli anti terror units tested a new weapon that can fire around corners. A soldier sees the target on a small screen mounted on the barrel of the gun, which swivels at the middle, 63 degrees to the left or right. The stock, trigger and TV screen are at the hand-held end; the firing mechanism, fitted with a pistol that sits over a mini-camera with a zoom lens, is located at the front end. ®

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Delegating Authority

evisionist historians in the Bush administration are now saying the war in Iraq had less to do with finding weapons of mass destruction than with promoting democracy in the region. In recent weeks, the Coalition Provisional Authority and the international community have been debating the most effective way to transfer power back to the Iraqi people. With its usual fondness for undue complexity, the U.S. government has proposed a convoluted plan to hold political caucuses in all 18 Iraqi provinces. Those caucuses will, in turn, select a general assembly that will later choose an inter

town with a Republican organization will meet after the primary and select two delegates to the state convention. At the state convention, which will be held on May 15, Republican delegates from around Vermont will select 18 delegates and 18 alternates to represent Vermont at the Republican National Convention in New York City beginning August 30. It’s a winnertake-all proposition, with Vermont’s entire delegation going to the candidate who garners the party’s endorsement, in this case President Bush.

Even those who've spent years watching Vermont politics are hazy on how votes cast at their local elementary schools help nominate a presidential contender. im government to rule the country until free and open elections can be held. But last week, UN Secretary General Kofi Annan suggested that direct elections would be less likely to infu riate the country’s Shiite majority. He is sug gesting holding direct elections by the end of May, presumably before Halliburton secures the no-bid contract on party hats, balloons and campaign bunting. Watching the Iraqis wrestle with the thorny issues of creating a democratic process left me wondering just how much the average Vermonter knows about our own convoluted electoral procedures. A quick anecdotal survey revealed that even those who’ve spent years watching Vermont politics are hazy on how votes cast at their local elementary schools help nominate a presidential contender. So, here’s how it all works: First, the fundamentals. In Vermont, unlike most states, citizens do not declare party affiliations when they register to vote. As a result, no one really knows how many Democrats, Republicans, Progressives, Libertarians, Constitutionalists or Marijuana Tax Party members are out there knocking on doors, collecting signatures, dispensing donuts or hitting the bong. However, the Vermont Secretary of State’s office does track how many people vote in the state’s presidential primaries, which are held every four years on Town Meeting Day. At this year’s Town Meeting Day, on Tuesday, March 2, registered voters may choose whichever party primary they wish to vote in, but may only vote in one. Each political party has its own rules for nominating candidates for national office. This year, only the Democrats and Republicans are holding presidential primar ies, though Vermont’s minor parties such as the Constitution and Libertarian groups will field presidential candidates, who will be >*selected at their respective national conven tions. Vermont’s Progressive Party has no national organization and thus will not field a presidential challenger. For the Republicans, the March 2 primary is, for all intents and purposes, “just a beauty contest,” as one former party official describes it. No, that’s not because George W. Bush is the obvious nominee. Under party bylaws, the outcome of the Republican primary has no real bearing on the selection of delegates to the national convention. Instead, each Vermont

The Democrats’ nominating process will be more interesting to watch this year, since (as of press time) an undisputed frontrunner fias yet to emerge. In Vermont, five candidates have filed to be on the Democratic primary ballot: Howard Dean, John Kerry, Wesley Clark, Dennis Kucinich and Lyndon LaRouche. On March 27, Democratic voters through out the state will hold town caucuses to elect delegates to the State Delegate Selection Convention, which will be held on Saturday, May 22. Any of the five candidates who garner more than 15 percent of the primary vote will be apportioned that percentage of delegates. So, for example, if Howard Dean gets 75 per cent of the vote and John Kerry 25 percent, then 75 percent of the delegates to the state convention will represent Dean, and the remaining 25 percent will represent Kerry. Delegates at the state convention will split into caucuses depending upon how Vermonters vote in the primary. Out of thaf convention — and subsequent party meetings — will come a total of 22 delegates and four alternates who will represent Vermont at the Democratic National Convention in Boston on July 26-29. Those delegates are either “pledged” or “unpledged” to a specific candidate. Among the unpledged delegates are six “super-delegates” — elected officials like Sen. Patrick Leahy and Secretary of State Deb Markowitz, and party leaders like state Democratic Chair Scudder Parker — who do not have to disclose which candidate they are backing. Unlike the Republican system, the state’s representatives to the 2004 Democratic national convention will be roughly propor tional to the votes cast in Vermont’s Democratic primary. Still confused? On Saturday, Feb. 7, the Vermont Democratic Party will hold a train ing session at Randolph Elementary School for anyone interested in participating in the delegate-election process. Interestingly, all Democratic voters in Vermont are eligible to become national delegate candidates, except those who have participated in the delegateselection process of another party. And though it remains to be seen what Iraq’s democracy will eventually look like, we can only hope it doesn’t include the words “electoral college.” ® Em ail Ken at k e n @ se v e n d a y sv t.c o m

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of medicine, law, finance & business in greater Burlington • BUSINESS, DEVELOPMENT & BANKING • WARD, KENNEY & BABB is widely acknowledged as one of the legal industry's leaders in regional real estate development. Attorneys Chip W ard, Guy Babb, Mike Kenney, Joyce Chase, Matt Glitman, Jim Basque & John Balkunas offer clients legal services in a wide variety of practice areas including banking & creditors' rights, busi ness & corporate, mergers & acquisitions, residential & commercial real estate, real estate development, estate planning & probate and personal injury. Their philosophy is to be a part of their client's team. To that end, they endeavor to make all attorneys available to meet with clients at a time and a place that is convenient to the client. A high-emphasis is placed upon straight answers, not lawyers-speak. Serving the community for 20 years, W ard, Kenney & Babb is dedicated to providing their clients with the depth of knowledge and sophisticated legal and financial structuring typically available at larger law firms, but with the prompt attention, service and competitive fees available at smaller firms. Their objective is to form a strategic advi sory role with each client, utilizing the experience of each of the firm's lawyers to provide innovative, responsive ana cost effective legal solutions. The firm takes pride in treating all matters, whether simple wills or complex bank ing matters with the same energy and attentiveness.

Ward, Kenney & Babb 3069 Williston Road • South Burlington, VT 05403 • (802)863-0307

• DIVORCE LITIGATION & CRIMINAL DEFENSE ATTORNEY SANDRA M . LEE states that when it comes to the major life change of divorce, it is critical to seek answers early & become familiar with your legal rights & obligations. Even if you think you may be divorcing, Sandra believes that you should talk to an attorney who is well-versed in family law matters. It is crucial to prepare for & understand the divorce process. She believes that it is important not to be taken by surprise. Sandra has 9 years of experience in family law & related matters. She is a graduate of the Vermont Law School and worked with its South Royal Legal Clinic for family law representation. She is also a Public Defender (on con tract) with Addison County and is the current President of the Addison County Bar Association. Initially, she makes an effort to stabilize her client's emotional & financial situation. This may require obtaining court orders concerning child custody and spousal & child support. Many times, these issues can be resolved amicably, and a separation agreement can be negotiated. Balancing the emotional & financial costs of litigation, Sandra maintains a commit ment to a fair & equitable resolution of ner clients' cases. She emphasizes that her professional obligation to her clients is to counsel, advise, litigate, make recommendations and to keep them fully informed & participatory throughout the process of divorce. Hr general practice includes criminal defense and DWI.

Law Office Of Sandra M. Lee Seven Seymour Street, Suite 5 • Middlebury, VT 05753 • (802)398-2525

MERTZ, TALBOTT & SIMONDS, PLC has extensive experience litigating disputes in all courts throughout Vermont. Each member of the firm has an impressive background, and their clients receive the full benefit or their collective experience. Gregory Mertz, who started his legal career on Wall Street, provides legal advice and rep resentation in business matters, including the defense of securities firms and industry personnel in litigation, arbi tration and regulatory matters. Frank Talbott has concentrated his practice over the last seventeen years in the fields of Workers' Compensation, personal injury litigation and labor and employment claims. Josh Simonds represents individuals and businesses in commercial disputes, insurance matters, insurance bad faith, personal injury, profes sional regulation and Workers' Compensation. In making important decisions there is no substitute for good legal advice. Mertz, Talbott & Simonds, PLC pro vides such advice, carefully listening to their clients, gaining a thorough understanding of their needs, and provid ing sound and creative solutions. -

Mertz, Talbott & Simonds. PLC 126 College Street • Burlington, vT 05401 • (802)6o0-4800 • admin@mtslegal.com

ATTORNEY SARAH GENTRY TISCHLER, her associate, Attorney Julie Minor, and their skilled paralegal sup port staff are dedicated to helping clients understand the choices available to them in estate planning, probate and charitable giving, and will recommend the plan that they believe is best for each client. Sarah and Julie's objective is to provide estate planning and other services to individual clients and the busi nesses in which they are involved. Thoughtful work preparation is their priority, as is responsiveness to client con cerns and inquiries. Their services include preparation of a variety of trusts and wills, health care proxies and dis ability planning, reviewing trust documents, estate planning, asset protection planning, durable powers of attorney, robating estates, trust counseling and administration, and charitable giving. They nave almost 40 years of com ined experience and believe that whether a client has a large or modest estate, most people want to control how it will be managed during their lifetime or in the event of their disability and how it will be distributed upon their death. Sarah and Julie aim to help clients understand their estate planning alternatives and provide them with a range of costs before making any decisions. Their goal is to help their clients retain control of their estate during lifetime, provide for themselves and their family if disabled, and give their property to whom they want, when they want and in the manner they want.

Attorney Sarah Gentry Tischler 183 Talcott Road • Williston, VT 05495 • (802)878-0903

• ORTHOPEDIC SURGERY & SPORTS MEDICINE

• REAL ESTATE TRANSACTIONS When you are looking for a legal representative for matters concerning real estate, you want someone with expe rience in this area of the law. W ith these qualifications and the determination to obtain the best legal solution pos sible, ATTORNEY JOY MIDDLEBROOK KEARNES is available to serve you with 14 years of legal experience, developed from clerking under some of the best real estate attorneys in Chittenden County. The legal services offered by Joy include transactional real estate for commercial and residential properties, refi nancing, title research, real estate litigation, pre-closing contracts and 1031 Tax Deferred Exchanges. In addition, she provides real estate counseling to advise you about the advantages and consequences of your real estate pur chase. Providing personalized attention to each client, she offers a free initial consultation to enable you to clearly understand the legalities of your situation, your legal options and the professional services she can render. Buying a new home or property may be the largest financial decision you will ever make. Doesn't it make sense to utilize the services of a real estate attorney from planning to completion? Joy's commitment to your best interest and her knowledge in the field of real estate law make her a wise choice. Her general practice includes wills & probate, estate planning, collections & civil litigation.

Law Offices Of Joy Middlebrook Kearnes 600 Blair Park Road, Suite 205 • Williston, VT 05495 • (802)878-0011

Offering a varied selection of temporary and direct-hire positions for employers as well as employees, SHARP STAFFING SERVICES offers consultation services to help find the right placement for qualified people. They have 1200 affiliated offices nationwide and have been an invaluable asset to the Vermont business community, filling positions in a timely and efficient manner. They are staffing generalists and help in most employment areas, includ ing advertisina/marketing, medical, manufacturing, office staff, finance and technology, just to name a few. If you are currently looking for work, a call to their office could provide you with the opportunity for immediate employ ment. People who ao to work for Sharp Staffing Services on a temporary basis often qualify for benefits and end up in a regular and secure full-time job. Whether an unplanned vacancy in your business has left you short-handed, or you're searching for an addition to your staff, Sharp Staffing Services has the resources necessary to quickly find you properly qualified candidates. They have a network of local businesses, ranging from small companies to Fortune 1000 firms, which allows them to offer secure, exciting job opportunities. Past clients include Goodyear, Bigelow Teas, the Immigration & Naturalization Service and Blue Diamond Afmonds. For professional, efficient service for employers as well as employees, contact Sharp Staffing Services - they are the right people for the job!

2 Susie Wilson Road Essex, VT 05452 (802)^88-8090

Sharp Staffing Services

108 Lake Street St. Albans. VT 05478 (80^)524-4440

CHAMPLAIN VALLEY ORTHOPEDICS, PC, based in Middlebury, VT, is a leader in Addison & southern Chittenden Counties with demonstrated excellence in the diagnosis and treatment of diseases and injuries of the musculoskeletal system involving bones, muscles, tendons, nerves and ligaments. W ith specialized skills across the full spectrum of orthopedic care, board certified orthopedic surgeons Beniamin . N. Rosenberg, MD & Eric B. Benz, MD have special interests in treatment of knee & shoulder injuries, total joint replacement surgery, orthopedic sports medicine, trauma & fracture care, and hand surgery. Dr. Rosenberg has a subspeciality fellowship in orthopedic sports medicine & arthroscopy, and is the current president of the Vermont State Orthopedic Society. He Is also the team orthopedic consultant to M iddlebury College athletic department, and the Middlebury College Snow Bowl & Mad River Glen Ski areas. Dr. Benz completed a three year stint as a flight surgeon in the United States A ir Force following completion of his orthopedic training, where he gained experience treating a wide variety of traumatic injuries. He has a special interest in total joint replacement & reconstructive sur gery. Physician Assistant George M. Connelly has more than 11 years of experience in orthopedic outpatient prac tice with special interest in occupational orthopedics and the treatment of injured workers. The practitioners and staff at Champlain Valley Orthopedics, PC focus their efforts not just on treating the initial cause o f a patient's problem, but also on helping guide the patient through the rehabilitation process, with the goal of restoring the fullest function possible.

III & Alan D. Ayer at ADDISON ASSOCIATES IN OBSTETRICS & GYNECOLOGY place an extreme emphasis on the persona! care they insist on^giving each patient. They are assisted by a professional, caring staff who pro vides a continuum of care with regards to the uniqueness of women's obstetrical and gynecological needs. In addi tion to offering family planning and obstetrical care, PMS and adolescent counseling, menopause and cancer detec tion and prevention, the doctors' services also include mammography referrals, infertility, colposcopy and laparoscopy. They also specialize in menopausal care, osteoporosis prevention and treatment, and perform gyne cological surgery for tubal litigation, ovarian and pelvic masses, as well as addressing conditions of the ovaries, cervix and uterus. W ith 54 years of combined experience, Dr. Malcolm & Dr. Ayer are Board Certified by the American Board of Obstetrics and Gynecology and nave attending privileges at Porter Medical Center in Middlebury. Their office accepts most insurances, HMOs, Medicare & Medicaid. These days, with so many medical services sacrificing per sonal care for cost effectiveness, it's nice to know that there are still those medical providers that insist on quality patient care and understand the importance of a patient's relationship with her physician.

Champlain Valley Orthopedics, PC 1436 Exchange Street • Middlebury, VT 05753 • (802)388-3194

Addison Associates In Obstetrics & Gynecology 116 Porter Drive • Middlebury, VT 05753 • (802)388-6326

9 COMPASSIONATE O B /G Y N CARE FOR W OM EN

Did you ever have the desire to be able to walk into a doctor's office and have your concerns, needs and feelinqs respected from the minute you walked throuqh the door? This is the unique opportunity afforded by the prac tice at MAITRI HEALTH CARE FOR W O M EN, PC Drs. julia Brock & Amy Thibault and Certified Nurse M idwife Kristen Werner have put together a team dedicat ed to responding to the special needs of women. Whether your desires are for gentle and respectful birthing com bined with the use of the latest and safest techniques for insuring delivery, midwifery, laparoscopic surgery, urogynecology (incontinence), pelvic pain, sexual dysfunction, hysteroscopy, infertility diagnosis and treatment, total contraception, premenstrual syndrome, menopausal problems, breast disease, cancer detection including col poscopy, laser surgery, or you just want someone to talk to about your health as a woman, this is the practice for you. Dr. Brock & Dr. Thibault take a family centered approach to birthing and are board eligible in their specialty. They realize that respect for their patients and careful attention to their needs are the best assurance of the provi sion of women's health. As an all female practice, they can relate to childbirth & motherhood. They take a holistic approach to medical care, and often refer for alternative healthcare services. Dr. Brock believes that the Sanskrit word, "M aitri", best sums up her practice, "limitless compassion". She also believes that compassion towards self and others is always the basis for good health. Most insurances, HMOs, Medicare & Medicaid are welcome.

Maitri Health Care For Women, PC 96 Colchester Avenue • Burlington, VT 05401 • (802)862-7338

9In thisOBSTETRICS & GYNECOLOGY day and age where one can so easily lose their identity, it's important o know that Drs. James A. Malcolm,

9 NON-SURGICAL ORTHOPEDICS DR. JONATHAN E. FENTON and his associate, Dr. Mark C. Winslow, are osteopathic physicians who treat a wide range of problems from sore shoulders to spinal injuries. Their focus is on treating acute and chronic pain and musculoskeletal disorders, with the goal of facilitating healing with the least invasive approach possible. Dr. Fenton is board certified by the American Academy of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation. He is one of only a few physicians in Vermont who have completed fellowship training in Musculoskeletal & Manual Medicine. Dr. Winslow is board certified in Family Practice, and has extensive experience in Emergency Medicine. Dr. Fenton & Dr. Winslow believe that sports & work injuries, as well as spine & muscufo-skeletal pain, are often best managed with a non-surgical physical & orthopedic medicine approach. In addition to complete osteopathic evaluation, diagnostic techniques are available for nerve, muscle, tendon and joint problems including fluoroscopy, musculoskeletal ultrasound, and electrodiagnostic (EMG) testing. Treatments may include osteopathic manipulation, therapeutic exercises, medical acupuncture, and diagnostic & therapeutic injections (including image guided injec tions). The doctors focus not only on treating pain, but on treating the whole person to facilitate healing and restore function.

Jonathan E. Fenton, DO 321 Main Street • Winooski, VT 05404 • (802)859-0000 • www.jfentondo.yourmd.com

• COMPREHENSIVE W O M EN'S CARE

• CAREER ADVISING & RESUMES Finding or Changing Jobs: the basics... Recently, the W all Street Journal reported, ".... for thousands of US work ers...its back to basics in finding a job. Starting with resumes. But most job seekers find it really hard to objective ly write their resume while considering their experience in contrast with the needs of the employer." It doesn't have, to be that way! RESUMES THAT WORK gives professionals an advantage. Resumes That Work offers Career Advising, Resume Distribution, Resume Writing and is an affiliate of Technology Group Partners - Retained Executive Search, offering career advice for nearly three decades. Career Advisor, Mark Renkert, an Executive Recruiter and Certified Resume Writer, says "Your resume has five seconds to appeal to the employer — then its junk mail — you have to get into the mind of the employer and ask 'what does this employer really want and how do I quickly tell him/her I nave it'," adding that he has direct expert ise with professional decision-makers at every level, geography, and industry. Your resume is key to "first contact". Resumes That Work can develop a comprehensive strategy for you. Other offerings: job changing, relocation, mil itary conversions, industry assessment, wage analysis, job growth trend analysis, distribution systems & channels, how posting your resume on the internet hurts your salary negotiations, telephone interviews, layoff recovery strate gies and career changes and compensating for lack of academic degree.

Resumes That Work • (802)985-3161 www.resumesthatwork.org • tgp@together.net

§ FINANCING FOR COLLEGE It is estimated that 95% of all parents who applied for financial aid last year did not know on what basis aid had or had not been awarded to them. COLLEGE PLANNING ASSOCIATES (formerly Green Mountain Associates For College Planning) believes that unlocking the mystery about financial aid is knowledge. They utilize an educational approach to college planning which has appealed to and benefited many families. College Planning Associates offers a free initial assessment providing an overview of financial aid systems & strategies^ and an esti mate of what you might expect to pay for college given your current situation. College Planning Associates' goal is to make the College Planning and specifically Financial Aid process as simple as possible. College Planning Associates' services include pre-planning, a detailed individualized strategy, FAFSA form preparation and submission, scholarship determination at selected colleges, and correspondence with colleges on financial aid matters. Their comprehensive planning services are designed to help parents prepare today for tomor row's college-related expenses. They do this by determining how much to save, projecting future costs of college, and factoring in your long term planning needs, especially retirement. College Planning Associates' detailed finan cial aid services are designed to help parents whose needs are more immediate and specific because their children are in high school. They are committed to guiding parents through the college financial aid process so parents can enjoy peace of mind and not deplete their retirement funds.

. ■•> College Planning Associates * 1 2 6 College Street, Suite 4 1 0 • Burlington, VT 05401 (802)862-2599 • www.collegeplanningassociates.com

Board Certified Gynecologic Oncologist Dr. Gamal H. Eltabbakh at LAKE CHAMPLAIN GYNECOLOGIC ONCOLOGY provides an individualized approach to women's health services. The doctor and his Physician's Assistant Georgia Eltabbakh and Nurse Practitioner Linda Davidson,are happy to explain all aspects of your unique medical care. They take the time to sit down with each patient to discuss any auestions you may have. Their serv ices are comprehensive and include routine primary health care for women of all ages, contraception, pap smears, the detection and treatment of sexually transmitted diseases, adolescent problems, nutritional counseling, and total menopause management. Board Certified and a Fellow of both the American College of O B /G Y N , and the Royal College of O B /G Y N , Dr. Eltabbakh is internationally trained in all aspects of gynecology, oncology & gynecologic oncology. He has 27 years of clinical experience, and has written 115 published papers and two textbooks. Dr. Eltabbakh performs col poscopy, gynecologic ultrasound, screening & treatment for gynecologic cancers including chemotherapy and gyne cologic, laparoscopic & laser surgeries. His Center is on the cutting edge of medicine and is complete with onsite ultrasound equipment and chemotherapy infusion services. In this day and age of managed care, Dr. Eltabbakh continues to provide a very personalized and caring environment for each patient. When it comes to the unique needs of women, he and his staff have the training and understanding to provide the quality of care you want.

Lake Champlain Gynecologic Oncology 364 Dorset Street • South Burlington, VT 05403 • (802)859-9500

• CHILDCARE INFORMATION CHILD CARE RESOURCE (CCR) is a non-profit organization that provides consultation, education and resources to families and professionals who care for and educate children. C.CR has up-to-date information on child care providers and programs in Chittenden County. They keep information on age groups, schedules, summer pro grams, vacation care, accreditations and rate information. Their professional staff will help you make the best choice for your family. For childcare providers, CCR offers educational and supportive programs. Their services include evening work shops, annual conferences, consultation & on-site visits. A wide variety of resources are available including: mate rials, activity ideas, and support for starting & maintaining childcare programs. CCR also manages the State of Vermont's Child Care Subsidy Program that helps qualified families pay for childcare expenses. Parents can access state funds to help pay for child care by catling CCR. CCR also works with local businesses to establish family friend ly policies, corporate childcare support, and workplace seminars. Studies have shown that parents who work for a business that supports families miss less work, are more productive, and report better coping abilities. Contact them for more information.

Child Care Resource • 181 Commerce Street • Williston, VT 05495 (800)339-3367 • (802)863-3367 • www.childcareresource.org

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BY 3ERNIGAN PONTIAC

A C A B B I E ’S R E A R V IE W

Manual Trans-mission a

’ve got four here at Pearl’s goin’a Winooski. How long, they wanna know?” It was a bartender calling on a frigid night. Pearl’s, officially called 135 Pearl after the address, used to be Burlington’s “gay” bar, and a lot of locals still think of it that way. But either it’s changed or we’ve changed, because it’s now the “allsexual-orientations-welcome” bar. This conclusion, by the way, is based solely on observation of my cab fares going to the place. I’ve never set foot in Pearl’s, nor, for that matter, most of the other Burlington bars. I drive bar-hoppers all night long, but I’m not one in civilian life. Ironic, isn’t it? “Tell ’em 10 minutes,” I replied. Approaching the bar, I saw two

the men offered from behind me. “And if you could, let’s stop at Cumberland Farms on Riverside. We’re out of ciga rettes.” O n the ride to Riverside Avenue, Tyler, a woman who clearly relished the spotlight, held the center of attention among the five of us in the vehicle. In the manner of a wayward cheerleader — equal parts perky and profane — she kept her audience fully engaged in the performance. Taking it in, enjoying it really, it struck me that there was some thing old-fashioned about her distaff sense of humor. The word that popped to mind was “brassy.” “Tyler, it’s Parliaments, right?” one of the men asked as we eased to a stop at the convenience store. “Stay here with the cabbie; we’ll pick you up a cou ple packs.” The back seat emptied, and it was me and Tyler. I took a good look at this compelling person. She Was an attractive woman, if you could get past the intimidating stature. “W hat about you?” she asked. “How long have you lived at the North Pole?” I smiled and said, “I guess I’ve been in B-town about 25 years now.” “Well, you’re a lucky man. The weath er is a bit much for me — I guess that’s obvious — but the people are lovely.” Tyler turned her head and, with a long fingernail, scraped a small circle in her frosted window. She glanced out for a moment at the foggy window of the store. It looked cozy in there on this icy night. The bleary, pastel beer signs washed the parking lot in warm hues. She then turned back to face me and gently touched my arm for the second time. “There’s something special about this town. I could sense it bar-hopping with my friends tonight.” Her eyes widened, and it felt like she was letting me in on a secret. W ith her good looks and irrepressible humor, it was a masquerade that was hers to keep or reveal. “Well, I’m waiting. W hat is ‘so special’ about this town?” “You Burlington folks,” she contin ued, “are open-minded.” As she spoke I noticed a slight movement at the throat of her cotton turtleneck. “Yup, we’re an open-minded bunch, all right,” I said, and just then her friends came out of the store and scur ried back to the taxi. As they piled in and the laughter and chatter started up again, I thought to myself, My goodness, this is like The Crying Game without the tears. ®

I took a good look at this compelling person. She was an attractive woman, if you could get past the intimidating stature. women and two men on the sidewalk doing the wind-chill shuffle. Even before I came to a full stop, they were grabbing at the door handles. One of the women, tall and big-boned, plopped down with a thud into the shotgun seat and said, “Mr. Cabbie, you are my knight in shining armor. You’ve rescued me from this cruel cryogenic experiment.” The folks in the back laughed heartily. “Tyler,” the other woman said, “you come up to visit us in January and this is what you get. This is Vermont, OK? Now quit the whining, girl.” Tyler reached over and grasped my right forearm. Her fingers were large, with candy-apple nails.-“H on,” she said, “don’t pay no mind to my friends in the back. They’re a jealous bunch, these Vermonters.” We were still in park, idling in front of Pearl’s. Tyler was looking right at me, with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. Her eyelashes, I noticed, were lush and long, and her cheeks were dusted with glitter. I felt myself becoming slightly hypnotized. Tyler must have sensed this, because all of sudden she winked, snap ping me out of it. . . . “Ya know where I’m from, doll?” she asked in a husky growl. “Miami, F.LA. That’s right — we got it goin’ on in South Beach!” She lifted her hands up to shoulder level and executed a compact bump-andgrind routine. “The only ice down my way, child, is crushed up in the margaritas!” “Not to change the subject, but where am I taking you folks?” “We’re at the Woolen Mill,” one of

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Dear Cecil, W hat with the new war on terror a n d the ongoing war on drugs, I ’ve heard a lot o f people make the claim that the United States has incarcerated a higher proportion o f its citizens than any other country in history. To me, this claim seems tenuous at best. W hat about countries such as China, the USSR and Germany during the m id-20th century? Perhaps the ja il popu lation would be low, but with all o f the secret detainments and labor camps, the actual total w ould be more befitting o f the alltim e title. — Shawn H atfield via the Internet Your skepticism is well placed. T he U.S. certainly doesn’t have the highest incarceration rate in world history, and depending on whose figures you believe, may not even have the highest rate now. However, to be honest, w ere m ore com petitive than you m ight care to hear. According to the International C entre for Prison Studies at King’s College L ondon, the U.S. currently has the largest docum ented prison population in the world, both in absolute and proportional terms. W e’ve got roughly 2.03 m illion people behind bars, or 701 per 100,000 population. C hina has the second-largest num ber o f prisoners (1.51 m il lion, for a rate o f 117 per 100,000), and Russia has the sec ond-highest rate (606 per 100,000, for a total o f 865,000). Russia had the highest rate for years, b u t has released h u n dreds o f thousands o f prisoners since 1998; m eanwhile, the U.S. prison population has grown by even m ore. R ounding o u t the top 10, w ith rates from 554 to 437, are Belarus, Berm uda (UK), Kazakhstan, the Virgin Islands (U.S.), the C aym an Islands (UK), Turkm enistan, Belize and Suriname, w hich you’ll have to agree puts Am erica in interesting com pany. South Africa, a longtim e star perform er on the list, has dropped to 15 th place (402) since the dism antling o f apartheid. I’m n o t aware o f any attem p t to systematically compare

im prisonm ent rates for all the w orld’s sovereign states throughout history, and com piling such a list w ould be a daunting task. (Fax me those Sum erian jail records, w ould you?) But Stalin’s Soviet U nion, w ith its huge netw ork o f forced-labor camps, w ould surely be near the top. I’ve seen widely varying figures, b u t let’s use the conservative Britannica num ber o f five m illion prisoners in the G ulag in 1936. T h at works out to m ore than 3000 per 100,000. T he record holder, though, is undoubtedly C am bodia under the K hm er Rouge: T h e regime forced virtually the entire p o p u lation into labor camps or prisons during the late 1970s, killing as m any as two m illion o f the country’s six to seven m illion people. Nazi G erm any em ployed m illions o f slave laborers, b u t m ost were foreign nationals during w artim e, so the com par ison doesn’t seem apt. C hina, th o u g h ... well, 1.5 m illion prisoners is just the ojficial figure. Chinese hum an rights activist H arry W u, who spent 19 years in forced-labor cam ps for criticizing the governm ent, estimates that 16 to 20 m illion o f his countrym en are incarcerated, including com m on criminals, political prisoners and people in invol untary job placem ents. Even 10 m illion prisoners would make for a rate o f 793 per 100,000. A nother nation suspected to have a lot o f prisoners is N orth Korea. T h e country isn’t listed in ICPS statistics, but a recent N B C News investigation put the num ber o f politi cal prisoners alone at 200,000, or more than 900 per

100,000. Great, you’re thinking. T he only countries that might p u t away m ore o f their own people than we do are b o th notorious authoritarian states. N o question: C onsidering we’re supposed to be the land o f the free, we’ve got a huge num ber o f folks locked up. M ost countries, including alm ost all our industrialized peers, have im prisonm ent rates under 200. India, hardly an orderly utopia, has a rate o f just 29. W h at gives? You can try to explain our prison boom by pointing to political gam bits like m andatory sentencing laws and the war on drugs, but th at’s dodging the question: Is crim e here really that m uch worse than everywhere else? N ot necessarily. A com parison w ith the U K (incarcera tion rate for E ngland and Wales: 140) is instructive. According to a U.S. D epartm ent o f Justice report, rates for m any types o f serious crim e are sim ilar in the U.S. and UK, b u t between 1981 and 1996 they dropped here and rose there. Rates o f burglary, assault and car theft are now higher in Britain. M urder and rape are still vastly higher here, but the gap has narrowed. Am erican law -and-order advocates will say: O f course! W e put m ore o f our bad guys in jail! D efenders o f civil liberties, on the other hand, tend to see the get-tough approach as a way o f puttin g the screws to m inorities, whose chances o f getting sent up the river — even for m inor offenses like m arijuana possession — are dis proportionately high. D o m ore convicts = less crime? A k notty question, b u t luckily for m e not the one you asked.

Is there something you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams at th e Chicago Reader, 11E. Illinois, Chicago, IL 60611, or email him at cecil@chireader.com.

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M A K IN G B O D Y -M IN D C O N N E C T IO N S

Just Doin’ It

I IM A G E S tefan Bum beck

s there a connection between sex and sports? The two seem to go hand in hand — if the tabloids are any indi cation. Wilt Chamberlain claimed to have bedded more than 20,000 women. That’s 1.2 per day. Hundreds of pro basketball, football and baseball players have entan gled themselves in sex scandals since the dawn of peach baskets, pigskin and long shafts of wood. Oddly, the issue of abstinence is of particular interest to athletes — specifically, how and when sex benefits performance on the field. Everyone, from pros to weekend warriors, has an opinion on the sub ject. “I’ve believed sex was helpful before an event for decades,” says a Killington cyclist. “Gets the aggres sive male hormones flowing, is my theory.” His theory is actually much older than mere decades. “Athletes when sluggish are revitalized by lovemaking,” Pliny the Elder wrote in Natural History near ly 2000 years ago, before his hot date with Vesuvius. “And the voice is restored from being gruff and husky.”

In the late 1800s, a group called the Muscular Christians advocated "spermatic economy." Over time, though, Pliny’s words were forgotten, especially by the Victorians, who believed that semen depletion was a recipe for malaise and lethargy. Instead of refreshing themselves with a romp, sports men opted for lolling by the sea or tramping about the countryside. In the late 1800s, a group called the Muscular Christians advocated “spermatic economy,” Throughout the 20th century, athletes continued to accept and even embrace a certain period of absti nence before a major competition. Picture Robert De Niro pouring ice down his shorts in Raging Bull. “You can only play this game once,” coach Mike Ditka supposedly told the Chicago Bears the night before the Super Bowl. “If your wives and girlfriends can’t wait, tell them to take a cold shower.” The Minnesota Vikings took the “no-girls-allowed” policy one step further, sleeping in separate quarters from their wives before four Super Bowls. It became a ritual for the wife of former Broncos quarterback John Elway. “No sex for John Friday or Saturday,” she was once quoted as saying. “He gets it

all Sunday night, after the game.” Brazilian soccer player Ronaldo employed the same “dessert-later” philosophy during the 2002 World Cup. “Winning the World Cup is more important,” he told ESPN. “I will have sex in a few moments, but the World Cup happens only every four years.” Muhammad Ali floated like a butterfly for up to six weeks at a time, so that he could sting like a bee in the boxing ring. “If you don’t get it for a while,” he said to reporters, “you get mean and angry, and it makes you a great warrior.” Even if your sport doesn’t involve snarling, it was cool to spurn sperm. British husband-and-wife curlers Ewan and Fiona McDonald swore off sex during the Salt Lake Olympic Winter Games. Fellow Olympian Ronny Ackerman, a ski jumper from Germany, flew solo for 389 days before arriving in Utah. And while many marathoners choose to carbo-load before the 26.2, former world record-holder Khalid Khannouchi passed on the protein. “We don’t have sex — not even a week before,” his wife Sandra told Reuters. “After the race is over we have a party. But not before.” The actual results on this no-sex score are spotty, however. The Vikings lost all four of those Super Bowls, and Ewan McDonald curled to seventh place in a three-way tie. Ronaldo is of two minds when it comes to going without. “Sex a couple of hours before the match is the key to success,” he told a Spanish TV show a few months after the World Cup. “The man has to be rather passive and just enjoy the experience. This relaxes him and makes him happy, which in turn gives him a whole load of energy.” German swimmer Franzisca van Almsick, who has graced the cover of Maxim, promotes herself as “more than a great swimmer” on her homepage and claims to warm up for a meet by having sex — in the pool. What gives? Perhaps because they started the rumor, British researchers have spent a good deal of the last two decades trying to figure out if abstinence is all it’s cracked up to be. In the 1980s, a study in Wales revealed that men who had sex twice a week were half as likely to suffer heart attacks as those who played “hide the hot dog” once a month. “The asso ciation between frequency of orgasm and mortali ty... deserves further investigation to the same extent,” wrote the researchers in the British Medical Journal “Interventions programs could also be con

sidered, perhaps based on the exciting At least five a day campaign aimed at-increasing fruit and vegetable consumption — although the numerical imperative may have to be adjusted.” /* A similar study of Scottish blokes found that those who make love more live longer. If sex is good for you, British researchers reasoned, it can make you a better athlete. Shordy before the London Marathon, sponsors decided to spice things up by surveying the top 2000 entrants from the previous year on their various habits. Eight percent revealed that running had harmed their sex life, while 30 percent claimed to have received a boost in bed from pounding the pavement. Plus, those who indulged in a little frolic before racing mrned out to have faster finishing times. Said race organizers, “Every competitor planning to build a last-minute lovemaking session into their training program will run faster than those who don’t.” The findings failed to turn the streets of London into a giant orgy, but they did open athletes’ minds — 2nd legs. The research backed up one study con ducted in 1999 by Italian researchers at the University of L’Aquila. They found that testosterone levels spike after sex, making the athlete more com bative. “It’s a matter of the character of the athlete,” Emmanuele Jannini told Reuters. “If he needs to be more aggressive, it’s better to have sex.” But Simon Hughes is also convinced, and he plays cricket — not exactly a blood sport. “I’d say pre match sex helped more than it hindered,” he told The Observer Sport Magazine. “I took six wickets and bowled out Zimbabwe to win a match for Middlesex the night after dalliance with a Harare hairdresser and enjoyed similar success during a four-day fling with a Birmingham nurse.” There are other reasons to hold off, though. “I don’t think I’ve ever had sex before I race,” says an avid skier and rider from Rudand. “My mind just isn’t into it. I’m too focused on the race and too ner vous. I could see how some people might have sex to relax, but I guess I’m not Zen enough.” Others see sports as a sideline; no matter how big the event, it doesn’t compare with the main event. “A while back, I decided to make sex the priority and competition the elecdve,” says another Vermont cyclist. “It’s a whole lot more fun.” ®

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W hen the Music’s Over n 1976 Lome Michaels did one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen anyone do on “Saturday Night Live,” and he didn’t take part in a skit or tell a single joke. What the young producer did was offer The Beatles the “generous” sum of $3000 to get back together and perform on his show. In those days, rumors of a reunion were constantly in the air, with promoters offering the former Fabs as much as $ 100 million for a single concert. Michaels had no idea at the time how close his parody of these offers came to bearing fruit. As John Lennon later revealed in his famous Playboy interview, Paul McCartney happened to be in town and visiting at the Dakota on the night of April 24. The two were watching the show as Michaels made his offer and briefly toyed with the idea of call ing a cab. In the end, though, they decided they were too pooped to make any more pop-music history. Another thing Michaels couldn’t possibly have known at the time: Nearly three decades later, produc ers who probably hadn’t even been born yet in 1976 would be making riveting television by doing essential ly the very same thing. “Bands Reunited” is a brandspanking-new VH1 series, and I can say with TV-critic certainty that it is the greatest show on Earth. What could possibly be more all-around entertain ing than a program on which the members of longdefunct ensembles are tracked down one by one, iso lated in a room with former band mates they haven’t seen in years — due in many cases to still-raging feuds — and coerced into reliving their rock ’n’ roll glory days as viewers recoil in amazement at the amount of hair lost and weight gained? One-time Vancouver veejay Aamer Haleem does the hosting honors, a position demanding a high degree of both music-industry knowledge and diplo macy. According to V H 1’s website, “shock, embar rassment and sometimes anger are just a few of the reactions” Haleem encounters as he “shows up unex pectedly and surprises each band member with the possibility of reuniting.” The concept is pure genius. And the show’s cre ators are smart enough to understand they walk a fine line in terms of the acts they unearth. With a group from the late ’60s, you run the risk of the trail lead ing straight to a nursing home or, worse, that big jam session in the sky. That’ll unplug the fun in a hurry. Instead, the producers of “Bands Reunited” tend to target long-dormant headliners from the ’80s. This way, the one-time pop stars may be all but unrecog nizable, but at. least they’re not dragging around oxy gen tanks. And then there’s the bonus that so many bands from that period appear utterly ridiculous now. What

Hey, nothing says rock 'n' roll quite like a blubbering, middle-aged man.

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they may have lacked in talent, acts such as A Flock of Seagulls, Dramarama and Klymaxx tried desperate ly to make up in hairspray and polyester. Which makes them the perfect subjects for a show like this. The world looks at them as musical laughingstocks, but the prospect of getting together to make one night’s worth of music without pay makes them take themselves pretty seriously. The British has-beens are by far the worst in this respect. In the episode on Kajagoogoo (1983 s “Too first four synth-pop quin tet contacted agreed to reunite but expressed serious doubt that lead singer Limahl would consent. After all, they had arranged for their manager to boot Limahl out of the band without explanation nearly 20 years earlier, effectively ending his career. Indeed, when confronted by Haleem about the possibility of burying the hatchet, the vocalist becomes visibly Credit, , V

though, he decides to let bygones be bygones. He only breaks down and weeps three or four times dur ing the culminating live performance. Hey, nothing says rock ’n’ roll quite like a blubbering, middle-aged man. The installment featuring Frankie Goes to Hollywood (1983’s “Relax”) has an unhappier end ing. That’s because lead singer and self-appointed Serious Artist Holly Johnson is a gwumpy little man whose sense of humor seems to have been surgically removed at some point since the homoerotic dancepop outfit’s ultra-brief heyday. Never mind “Relax.” Someone should tell this guy to “Chill.” You had to feel badly for the other members of the band. Sort of the Brit version of the Village People, but with way more attitude, Frankie was pret ty much a sensation that came and went overnight, and you could tell these guys were psyched to receive any kind of media attention. Like their counterparts from Kajagoogoo, the group’s foot soldiers seriously doubted their commander in cheese would deign to join them for a march down memory lane. Johnson stunned everyone by agreeing to come to the initial confab, but apparently did so only to make his ultimate refusal to participate that much more disheartening. After a few self-important proclama tions about the impact his art has had on the world, he sashayed off with his poodle, or whatever it was padding along at his heels. Horrid twit. Great TV. The installment on A Flock of Seagulls (1982’s “I Ran (So Far Away)”) is one of my favorites. The oftmaligned new-wavers are arguably remembered better for their hysterical hairdos than for any of the songs they recorded. Frontman Mike Score — then a pro fessional beautician — may have been the most femmed-out figure in the history of popular music. He made Little Richard look like Ike Turner. Which is why it’s so funny to watch Score in his present incarnation. The guy’s positively burly! He has to be closing in on 300 pounds and dresses like a Hell’s Angel. One of the show’s most entertaining features is the split-screen effect it uses during reassembled bands’ performances. Oft one side, you see the they looked playing the same songs in early MTV videos. On the other, you see them today. If they decide to stay together, these guys should change their name to A Flock of Meat Loafs. The episodes highlights? Hearing members of the group speak gravely about how they were driven apart by “artistic differences.” And watching the onetime demigods asjc,their bosses for pomiisipn

a few days of work to do this show. In the episodes I’ve seen, bands from this side of the pond have tended to take themselves and their moment in the spotlight less seriously. Remember Romeo Void (1981’s “Never Say Never”)? Perhaps having learned a lesson from its encounter with Huffy Holly, the show’s crew tracked down full-fig ured vocalist Debora Iyall first and secured a commit ment before rounding up the rest of the retired postpunkers. All five reacted to the ambush with good spirits and a sense of fun. Members of RV clearly were excit ed by the prospect of playing together again. The group has even managed to remain one of the few in the world that is apparently feud-free. Nonetheless, a true reunion wasn’t meant to be: Just when it looked as though nothing could spoil the party, Haleem tracked down reclusive saxophonist Benjamin Bossi and listened in horror as the withered musician ticked off a laundry list of personal tragedies. On top of serious problems with drug and alcohol addictions, the highly regarded player revealed that he’s been taken out of the game by an incurable case of tinnitus — the same form of hearing damage that afflicts Pete Townsend. To hear Bossi tell it, the toll taken by years of playing in front of blasting amplifiers was exacerbated by his substance abuse. The worse the ringing in his ears got, the more booze and pills he used in an attempt to mask the symptoms. Bottom line: The poor guy can’t afford to risk losing what little hearing he has left. So he joined his old friends on the day of the reunion and gave them all a big hug, but had to excuse himself when it came time to pick up the instruments. The group soldiered on with the help of a session player but, sadly, one member of Romeo Void had to say “never” after all. You see what I mean. “Bands Reunited” is a basiccable bonanza for music fans, reality fans-and anyone who’s ever stumbled across a long-forgotten recording and wondered what happened to the group that made it. Similarly fascinating sagas are already in the can detailingjhe rise and fall of Extreme, Berlin, plenty of shows — V H l’s own “Behind the Music,” for example — that chronicle the rise o f famous bands. A show documenting their fell was long over due. When people make the journey from world tours to working day jobs, drama, wreckage, lessons learned and human interest are guaranteed. And, 0 ; with so many expired acts awaiting post mortem, this

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week. Among others, he inter viewed Attorney General B ill S orrell, State Sen. V in ce Illu z z i and yours truly. Sorrell told us he met with Smith last Thursday morning. “I was halfway through breakfast,” said Sorrell, “when my hatchet-job red flag went up pretty fast and pretty high.” Smith inquired about reports of Ho-Ho having “a bad tem per.” That’s the dirt that UVM Political Science prof G arrison N e ls o n has dished on Dean for years. It’s always amazed yours truly that Garrison could spot from afar what those of us who covered him closely missed. Sorrell told Smith he served five years as Ho-Hos senior cab inet official and not once wit nessed the heralded Dean tem per. Not once. Smith also had thoroughly researched the battles of a decade ago between then State Auditor Ed F la n a g a n and Gov. Dean. He even had copies of this column from those days. Smith is a veteran journalist who covered national security issues for the Post for 10 years. He’s been to Bosnia and throughout the Middle East. But there’s something about applying that experience to Vermont-size state politics that gives one a queasy feeling. Smith and this writer spoke for an hour or more at the Statehouse Friday. Clearly he was en route to frying Dean’s rump in the decade-old Ed Flanagan grease. The fact that Fast Eddie and Ho-Ho have since patched things up — Flanagan has donated $ 1000 to Dean’s campaign — was not going to enter Mr. Smith’s equa tion. W hat else could one truly expect from a newspaper that’s completely missed the last three years of corruption and lies in the White House? A newspaper that’s such a self-promoting champion of the press as a gov ernment watchdog that it sup ported Bush’s blank-check Iraq resolution? We didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when Mr. Smith shared with us his shocking dis covery that Dr. Dean owned IBM stock while serving as gov ernor! Mr. Smith of the Washington Post said it with the steely-eyed look of a journalist who just won a Pulitzer. Yours truly felt like we’d just met our first space alien. Owned IBM stock, did he? Quick, the firing squad! Forget the fact that there’s no law or rule against it. Ah, but everyone knows Vermont is such a powerful force in the global economy that a governor of the powerful Green Mountains can easily manipulate the price of Big Blue’s stock to his personal financial advantage, eh? The fact is, if members of the Washington press corps had been half as vigilant — heck, 10 percent as vigilant —- in their

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coverage of a certain former Texas governor and his outra geous behavior since moving into the White House, the pro fession of journalism would be more respected. First the national media laughed at Dean. A Washington outsider, he didn’t have a chance. But Dean had a message that sold, and he flew to the top of the polls as the people-chosen opposition leader. The -national media was caught with their professionaljournalism pants down. They sure have gotten more than even, eh? S u p p o rt t h e T roops The cat’s out of the bag this week. The mainstream media has finally accepted the fact that President G eorge W. B u sh lied to the American people about the reasons for going to war. It’s not just the antiwar lefties any more, folks. Now everyone with eyes to see and ears to hear knows there was no evidence S ad d am H u s s e in had WMDs. No evidence he was linked to O sam a b in L a d en and his band of right-wing, al Qaeda religious fanatics who took down the World Trade Center. No evidence Hussein’s Iraq was an imminent threat to our freedom-loving country. No evidence to justify our loss of personal freedom under the new Orwellian Patriot Act. Instead, the evidence is we’ve got another liar in the White :• House. Unfortunately, the lies this time deal with a matter far more grave than fellatio outside of marriage. This president’s lies, like those of Presidents L y n d o n J o h n s o n and R ich ard N ix o n before him, have directly caused the needless deaths of brave Americans in uniform. All three presidents told us they sent our troops to war in order to protect us. In the 1960s we were told it was to protect us from the surging international tide of godless communism. They told us there was an infal lible geographical “Domino Theory” in place. If Ho Chi M in h ’s Viet Cong took South Vietnam, other dominoes like the Philippines would fall to the Commies. It would only be a matter of time before they’d hit the beaches of Southern California. Stopping them in the rice paddies of the Mekong delta was our only hope for survival. President Bush has spun the exact same yarn, only the names and maps have been changed to protect the guilty. Just like in the 1960s, the American media has played along, swallowing every single White House lie-hook, line and sinker. At the moment, the only dif ference between Iraq and Vietnam is the scale. One won ders what magic number the U.S. death toll in Iraq must reach before it strikes a nerve in the American heartland? One of the standard antiwar rally chants of the 1960s, we recall, was “End the War in

SEVENDAYS I febfuary 04-11/2004 I in sid e tra c k 17ft' Vietnam, Bring the Troops Home!” Simple and direct. After the bloodbath of 1968, in which about 15,000 U.S. sol diers came home in boxes, Vietnam veterans themselves started to join those peace marches by the thousands. Theyd learned the hard way that saving Vietnam from the Vietnamese had no connection to the safety of the United States of America. Governments lie. Now it’s dejd vu all over again. Time to really support the troops. Obviously, one way is to speak out against the Bush administration’s now-discredited policy that needlessly places our troops in harm’s way so far from home. Maybe if enough citizens speak out, even a president who doesn’t watch the news or read the papers might hear some thing? Another way is to reach out and personally touch our troops one by one. According to Lt. V ero n ica S affo at the Vermont National Guard, Vermont soldiers in the current battle zones of Iraq, Afghanistan, Kuwait and Bosnia would dearly appreciate care packages from home. Shoeboxsize would be perfect. It’s a way to keep them in touch with real ity. Include things like Tom’s of Maine toothpaste, local newspa pers, Lake Champlain Choc olates, she said. And Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. ^ And, Lt. Saffo pointed out, » you won’t be paying the postage to Baghdad. Local postage will do. The Army will make sure they swiftly reach their destina tions. Currently 60 Vermont Guard soldiers are in Afghanistan train ing the locals in mountain infantry skills. Another 10 are in Kuwait driving supply trucks. About 15 more are in Bosnia flying two helicopter air ambu lances. And 200 more are at Ft. Drum, New Jersey, undergoing final training before becoming military policeman in Iraq, the land of the roadside bomb. And Seven Days has learned that the Guard’s 86th armored brigade has been alerted of a possible call-up by summer. 1 hanks, George. In addition to Vermont Guard troops, Lt. Saffo said, care packages can also be mailed to Vermonters serving in the reg ular forces who are already sta tioned in the war zone. Give her a call at 338-3246. She’ll be happy to provide details. To presidents and kings, sol diers don’t have faces and fami lies. They’re pawns in a mad chess game of power. Let’s never forget their place in our Ver mont family. One doesn’t have to support the war to support the warrior. That’s one we learned in the 1960s, too. ®

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edding registries are an intriguing concept: Create a list of everything you need for your new home and eliminate the risk of receiving gifts of mismatched silverware, duplicate toasters and porcelain figurines. By the time you return from your honey moon, your home will be shining proof of your exquisite taste. But as I discovered when I got married last year, registries are like sausages: They seem good until you find out what goes into them. First, there was the question of where to register. Sailing through my twenties sin gle in New York City, listening to soon-tobe married friends titter over Tiffany’s and Bergdorf Goodman, I shuddered at the thought of one day having to “ask” my guests to buy me all that stuff. W hen my Boulder-bred boyfriend and I got serious and talked marriage, we half-joked about registries at the liquor and hardware stores. But once we became engaged, we looked around our Burlington home and realized we hadn’t the foggiest idea of what we really wanted. OK, we really did want the booze and the bolts, but they didn’t seem appropriate. O ur small kitchen was bursting with assorted cookware, our shelves stocked with plates and bowls. Today, many couples who live together

before tying the knot face the same conundrum: Do we really need more stuff? Thankfully, there are now plenty of places to pick out appropriate wedding gifts, as opposed to, say, in 19th-century France, where this whole registry thing started. You can register for canoes and camping equipment at REI, or for barbe cues and weed whackers at Home Depot. The Knot, an eight-year-old Internetbased company, has a neatly packaged list of honeymoon essentials — such as Gstrings and swim flippers — while TheBigDay.com will actually take you on your honeymoon: Guests may donate money toward your African safari or surf ing trip to Hawaii. Altruistic couples wishing to take the high road can-register to donate money to one of 850,000 chari ties through JustGive.com. We took the low road, deciding to just get, and to upgrade our chipped dishes, scratched pots and fraying towels at Crate & Barrel and Williams-Sonoma. And after much agonizing, we even decided to add some china to the lot, since we might actually one day grow up and not want to buy it with our own money. We’d rather spend it on surfing lessons and safaris. Silver and crystal left a bad taste in our

SEVENDAYS I february 04-11, 2004 I fe a tu re 19A

mouths, especially after we heard about the “crystal-fund” parties apparently being thrown by people with warped senses of reality. But after we had decided where to register, we didn’t know when to do it. We had a ninemonth engagement. That seemed like masses of time until I began flipping through bridal magazines, which offered tips beginning with “two years out.” Whoa. No wonder brides get so crazy. I also noticed an advertise ment for a “couples-only” reg istry event at Crate & Barrel,

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the showroom slowly,' careful to avoid the frenzied fiances. We didn’t feel like kids in a candy store. We felt like caged animals at the zoo with the rest of the unengaged world peering in from outside. “How about this?” I’d say, holding up a per fectly innocent glass. “Too bor ing,” he’d mutter, shaking his head and picking out a neongreen acrylic tray straight from the Jetsons. We couldn’t decide on anything. W ith scanners hanging limply at our sides, we took lap after lame lap. I washed down Bloody Marys with

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where we could choose our gifts in the peace and quiet of a closed store, receive a free gift, and enjoy refreshments. Splendid. After I’d convinced my fiance this would actually be fun, we made plans to visit a store in Massachusetts. We couldn’t wait to get our hands on the “scanning gun.” When we arrived 10 minutes after the event began, dozens of couples were already swarming all over the store, their scanners collectively buzzing as they chose placemats, picture frames and olive picks. After collecting our free gift of champagne flutes and eating a few chocolate-cov ered strawberries, we each took a deep breath and started circling

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istry. He snickered at us over Easter. “W hat is up with you guys?” he said. “There is, like, nothing on there.” In the end, our indecisive ness worked in our favor. As I later learned, the trend these days is to register well before showers and other pre-nuptial celebrations — ensuring the guests spend their money appropriately not once but mul tiple times. But we, the listless couple, received some pretty cool stuff at an engagement

pork with a plain old fork, our vichyssoise with a regular soup spoon. There were a few more sna fus. Since I had started to work from home, I began spending hours online, sneaking additions to our registry while my fiance was at his job. As my Writing deadlines piled up, my eyes glazed over the endless color choices for towels, the particular features of various food proces sors. With all the other crazy brides doing the exact same

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thing, the information took ages to download, and I grew tired of constantly switching back and forth between the stores’ sites. W ithout knowing it, I began registering for mis matched flatware and duplicate toasters. At one point, I checked the Williams-Sonoma list and was alarmed to find our request for not one, not two, but 12 sets of signature bath towels in maize. All this effort, I realized,

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might be for naught: Etiquette deems it tacky to tell anyone where you’re reg istered, unless asked. And as our wedding day approached, I forgot about our registry and moved on to worrying about the conga line of hurri canes aiming for the East Coast — our big day was to take place in Rhode Island. Once again, my eyes glazed — over the endless colors on weather maps, and the partic ular features of hurricanes Fabian, Grace, Henri and Isabel. And then items from our registry began to appear on our doorstep, packed in millions of Styrofoam peanuts. “W hat exquisite taste our friends have,” I thought, “giving us exactly the type of items I would have chosen for myself.” Oh, wait, I did choose them for myself. Meanwhile, my fiance, covered in packing peanuts, was perplexed. “Where did this stainless-steel mixer come from?” he’d ask, having madly scrambled through the box in hopes of finding his neon-green acrylic tray. He hates stainless steel. I d con fess that the super-deluxe sys tem had been ordered during one of my registry freak-outs. Even I was surprised by some of the registry gifts; I wrote an effusive thank-you note to friends for ceramic pie plates they’d never given; a comput er mishap had fumbled their endeavor to get us coffee mugs from WilliamsSonoma. But the greatest surprise of all was the extraordinary gen erosity extended by our friends and family in the months before and after our wedding — which Isabel obligingly dodged. Some ven tured beyond the confines of our imagined coupledom, delighting us with a canoe, a Chinese platter, two gift cer tificates for massage. Others stocked our house with a practical collection of pots and pans, sturdy dishware and a nice collection of china — which is stored safely in the basement for when we grow up. Still others simply showed up for the celebration, which was, of course, the most important type of presence. It is an odd feeling to have your envisioned future on dis play for all the world to see. The souffles you’ll make, the cookies you’ll bake, the vases you’ll fill with hundreds of flowers. But this is the time to percolate in possibility — be it perfect dinner parties, farflung travel, or helping to heal a stranger. Oh, and, even though our wedding and the holidays * have passed, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. We’re registered. ®

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orget those “Virginia Is for Lovers” bumper stickers, and “I V New York.” And never mind the City of Brotherly Love. Plenty of locales can STORY vie for love-American-style attention, PAM ELA but no place says romance like Paris, POLSTO N France. As the song says, “How will you keep them down on the farm IMAGE after they’ve seen Paree?” M ATTHEW Take it from someone who knows T H O R S E N every arrondissement as well as her own back yard in Fletcher, Vermont: Karen Kane. Her love affair with Paris began at age 11, long before she actually laid eyes on the city. Living with her family in Elmira, New York, Kane couldn’t explain why she was so drawn to Paris. “I had never traveled anywhere except to the same cottage every summer at the Finger Lakes,” she says. But once she began taking French in school, an avid Franco phile was born. Now a young-looking 46 with numerous trips to France stamped on her passport, Kane has created a business to help others explore its capital city’s streets — not to men tion its restaurants, museums, parks, architecture, Metro and more. Paris By Design is a unique travel service that customizes Paris itineraries * according to one’s interests, budget and time. Her own PR says it best: ‘ - • ~ ^ ~« Kane’s “advice on where to eat, sleep, - -

shop and stroll in the City of Light translates into effortless travel.” Bonus: You can leave the guide book chez vous. “She made it super-easy for us — a van picked us up at the airport and took us to the hotel,” says Jenn Parker of Essex, who had a mere 48 hours to see Paris as part of a twoweek trip in Europe with her boyfriend Justin Zwart. They were Kane’s first paying clients, in July 2002. From a centrally located hotel near Notre Dame Parker was directed to a museum devoted to her “all-time favorite” artist, Pablo Picasso, as well as cozy restaurants and a park perfect for people-watching. As an unexpect ed perk, Parker recalls, “It happened to be the last week of the Tour de France; we literally stepped outside our hotel and watched it.” And then there was the proposal. “He was contemplating several places in Paris, but ended up waiting,” says Parker. “We got engaged in the south of France.” Zwart had been planning it all along, of course, but nearly popped the question in Paris, which abets Vamour. “People act a little dif ferent there than they do here,” Parker professes. “People walking arm in arm, people making out in the street, holding hands in day light.” —' 1

Two of her clients did get engaged in Paris, Kane notes. Also in the city for just 48 hours, Janine Gunther of Shelburne was delighted with the

however. “The most fun was for a couple in Boston, both designers,” she remembers. “A lot of times peo ple will hire me to be off the beaten

I’m hopelessly smitten — I think everything about Paris is sexy. KAREN KANE small hotel — the D ’Acia on rue St. Michel — near Notre Dame; a day trip to Giverny (former home of Monet); and a high-end, classic French restaurant, L’Appart. O n the second night, she and her boyfriend Paul Jacobs enjoyed frites at a neigh borhood bistro in Montmartre. “Afterwards,” G unther recounts, “we walked up to Sacre Coeur, where my, fiance proposed to me. He’d been there before and had a plan, unbe knownst to me.” She and Jacobs are getting mar ried in May and plan to honeymoon in Alaska, but “We will go back to Paris, and we will use Karen in a sec ond,” G unther vows. Kane has arranged honeymoon trips to Paris for other lovebirds,

path, but they really want to see the Eiffel Tower. This couple really did want to see the out-of-the-way places. For example, there’s a certain type of graffiti in Paris, an art form called pochoire. I advised them to go to certain neighborhoods to see that, and to see Art Deco houses.” Amy Johnson of Laurenceville, Georgia, says her 40th birthday trip to Paris last year with her husband was “kind of like a second honey moon for us, too; Paris is a very romantic city... O ur first honey moon was to Disney World — we got married a m onth before I started medical sdiool.” Johnson had been an exchange student to Paris in high school and speaks French, but she »

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hired Kane to “fine-tune” her weeklong trip. “She recommended restau rants, walking tours, what days are best to go to certain muse ums, just little tips as far as get ting around the city, where to buy our Carte d ’Orange,” Johnson says of her Metro pass. Her favorite experience? “I would say the Musee d’Orsay, the Impressionist museum, and some of the walking tours.” Johnson says she’d definitely recommend Kane to other Paris-bound travelers. “The nice thing about her is she really tai lors it to you. She can do a lot or a little — plan a whole trip, even be a tour guide, translate, or she can do what she did for us. She’s got a lot of knowledge of Paris — the inside.track on a lot of stuff. ”

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Paris — and Paris By Design — circuitously. She studied French in high school and at Russell Sage College in Troy, but at the time thought a France-related career an impossible dream. She earned a Master’s degree in edu cation at the University o f New Hampshire and taught physical education at Colchester schools for two decades. Kane and her husband Ken Trask, a civil engi neer, moved to Fletcher about 15 years ago. Throughout this time, the City of Light was a virtual bea con to Kane, drawing her back again and again. Ideas began to bubble up when she took some graduate writing courses at Vermont College. Finally, she says, “I knew I had to do some thing else; I needed to drop everything and go to France. My husband even said to me, ‘Don’t you want to do some thing with French?”’ In 2000, she did just that. • Kane went to a small school in Paris and studied the language. “W hen I wasn’t in school I was

Nearly everything Kane rec ommends to her clients comes from personal experience. She stays abreast of French culture and events by watching a French TV station — beamed to Fletcher via satellite — get ting press releases from muse ums and galleries, and reading constantly. Plus, French friends send Kane newspaper clippings about new restaurants, films and exhibits. Hers is the happy task of frequent-flying to Paris to corroborate these experi ences. “I have to watch out, be cause I know the city so well,” Kane says. “I have to stop and think, what are the things that I loved when I first started going there? Now, I try to combine the important, iconic things about Paris with, here’s a great little restaurant where there won’t be a lot o f tourists.” Asked about her own picks for the most romantic spots in Paris, Kane gushes, “I’m hope lessly smitten — I think every thing about Paris is sexy.” But she manages to declare the most

Afterw ards, w e w alked up to S a c re Coeur, w h ere m y fian ce p ro p o sed to m e . H e ’d b ee n there before and had a plan, u n b e k n o w n s t to m e . JANINE

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where to go each day of the trip. This costs $150 per day for up to two days, less for longer trips. Kane’s a la carte services might suit more independent individuals — say, booking a hotel and making a list of options for where to go from there. For this she charges $40 to $60 per day. Kane makes her selections based on an Individual Interest Inventory clients fill out in advance. It asks questions such as “W hat do you hope to get from your Paris experience?” and “How much French do you speak?” along with preferences for tourist sights, food, accom modations and forms of trans portation. Kane seems to enjoy the challenge o f matching very spe cific interests, citing a family from Atlanta she worked with last year: “The wife is Latin, the daughter spoke French pretty well; they had these different ethnic interests. The son is into photography. So I found gallery and museum shows that really matched their interests — a great Cuban art show, a Basque restaurant.” Kanes itineraries include detailed, highlighted maps that point out the hidden treasures of Parisian neighborhoods — and make it impossible to get lost.

on the streets,” she says, “breathing in this French life.” She came back to Vermont, enrolled in the Women’s Small Business Project in Burlington and began to nurture a business plan. “At first I thought I want ed to guide people to Paris, but I found out I’d need to be there at least six months a year to make any money,” Kane ex plains. Also, I didn’t want to do groups... I found that people were interested in itineraries, help with trip planning. So what grew out of that was per sonalized guide books. It uses my writing experience and teaching experience.” Kane returned to Paris for more intense studies and earned an international language degree from Alliance Fran^aise. In 2002 she launched Paris By Design. W ith 30 trips to her credit so far, Kane is “amazed at how different they all are,” she says. “Obviously it will be different if it’s a family with kids than if it’s a couple on a honeymoon. People are just so excited about going to Paris and have these really fantastic images o f the city in their heads. Part o f what I do is figure out what that image is exactly so I can make that happen for them .”

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lover-friendly restaurant, hotel and view. “The Petit Troquet is a bistro near the Eiffel Tower where my husband and I have been eating for years, and I don’t think it will ever lose its charm,” she suggests. “The menu depends on the freshest ingredients, and the wines are excellent.” Kane recommends the Hotel Brighton, “especially in April and May. Newly renovated, the hotel has spacious rooms, mar ble bathrooms, thick terry robes and — best of all — windows overlooking the Jardin des Tuileries.” The most romantic sight, Kane believes, is the Pont des Arts at night: “At one end is the oldest wing of the Louvre; to the north, the Eiffel Tower glit ters, and the Seine weaves its way underneath. “Everything is illuminated,” Kane continues, “including the river, which reflects the lights from the quais and the buildings on both banks.” How does Kane transition from all this to the bucolic iso lation o f Fletcher, Vermont? “I’m getting better — I used to cry all the time,” she says with a laugh. “Now that I have the business and know I can have a foot in both worlds, it’s much easier.” (Z)

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aybe it’s the resorts, maybe it’s the mountain views, maybe it’s all the bluebloods and their money. Whatever the reason, Stowe is the unofficial Wedding Capital of Vermont. According to the Stowe Reporter, the town hosts 500 weddings and more than 60 civil unions annually. And it’s not unheard of for brides, grooms and their families to spend $120,000 on a matrimonial event in Stowe. That money pays for rooms, meals, music, massages... and outrageous, elaborate flower arrangements. For florists Alan Goldman and Wayne Michaels, co-owners of the Stowe-based Wildflower Designs — one of two flower shops in town — these celebrations are big business. Both men moved here from Long Island in the early ’90s. Goldman, a stylish, bespectacled man who retains a trace of his New York accent, reports that some clients spend as much as $30,000 on wedding flowers. With just the two of them on the payroll, Wildflower is a small operation. “We try to keep things a little on the private side,” says Goldman. The men don’t advertise, and don’t have a website, a cell phone or an answering machine. They attract most of their clients through word of mouth. When they opened their gift and flower shop in a ...............- ............ .................

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flower order on the front desk, the owners’ true passion becomes evi dent. The men, casually but neatly dressed in tennis shoes, jeans and tucked-in shirts, take turns picking at the bouquet, an arrangement of Dutch mums, wax flowers, del phiniums, irises and ornamental coffee beans. Their obsessive atten tion to the flowers appears instinc tual, almost subconscious. To my untrained eye, their ministrations make no difference. While Goldman is answering a question, I notice Michaels — a blond, broad-shouldered, 6-foot-;^ plus linebacker-looking guy — pick a tiny, dried bud from the stem of a wax flower. At least, I think that’s what he’s doing. His hands are moving so quickly that it’s hard to tell. When I ask Michaels to explain what he’s doing, he looks up and blushes, as if caught doing something he didn’t mean for me to see. “I’m playing," he answers sheepishly. He and Goldman elab orate on this comment a moment later. “That’s not far from the truth,” says Michaels. “It’s actually a lot of fun. I mean, the flower business is a lot of work — ” Goldman chimes in, “It’s a lot of work.” Michaels continues, “You can be here 12 hours a day, clean ing buckets, sweeping the floor.” “Picking up the flowers,” adds Goldman. “But when you actually get to do an arrangement,” con cludes Michaels, “it’s playtime.” Listening to them describe what florists actually do, I get the sense that these “playtime” moments are few and far between, and I begin to understand why their average wed ding bill runs between two and three thousand dollars. “You look at a flower,” says Michaels, “and nobody really realizes how much work and energy goes into it.” For example, each flower you see at a wedding may have already been handled an astounding 20 to 30 times, Michaels says. Though their name suggests that they pluck their wares straight from the fields, the guys at Wildflower pur chase most of their stock through a distributor in Middlesex. The flowers they use have been fertil ized, treated with preservatives,

and chilled by the grower, then sold at auction before being FedExed to the distributor, who sells them to the florists. “We go and handpick all of our flowers from our wholesaler four or five times a week,” says Michaels. “Then^ve come back to the shop, and we have to cut ’em and treat ’em, give ’em preserva tive, chill ’em again, bring ’em back out, clean ’em, and then arrange ’em. Sometimes we’ll get \ the floweriin on a Saturday morn8ke,«sd ril^aVejtri actually 7 physicatty^lat %ach flower Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, to get it to open to the right stage, and then chill it off before I even put it in the flower arrangement.”

The a rra n g em en ts Goldm an

and Michaels create look time-con suming, too. They keep books of photos showing examples of their work. One picture shows a three tiered, multi-colored topiary sever al feet high adorning a table full of placeholder cards. Another shows rows upon rows of church pews decorated with tastefully sculpted bouquets. Goldman points out one of his favorites, a four-tiered wed ding cake covered with petals from 1000 white roses. “The cake deco ration alone was $1200,” he says. “We were impressed.” The florists estimate that 90 percent of their weddings are out door affairs, which can sometimes pose a problem given Vermont’s unpredictable weather. They’ve had to batten down the hatches at tent weddings when it’s started to snow; last summer they had to move a wedding indoors because of the heat. An arch they’d created needed to be taken down and completely reconstructed when the bride’s parents called an hour before the wedding. “We were putting the last stem into the arch as the bride was ready to walk down the aisle,” recalls Michaels. But according to Mary Bogdonovitch, who coordinates weddings for the Stowehof Inn, last-minute reshuffling is rare for this pair. “They’re always here on time,” she says, “and they take as much time as it needs... They’re

my favorite florists that I deal with.” Bogdonovitch says she likes Wildflower because she never worries about them getting the job done. “When you’re coordi nating the ceremony, music and all the people in the wedding, and the photographer, it’s great to have something not to worry..., about,” she says. ~~ m' Bogdonovitch also applauds the duo’s attention to detail. e’s up h'ere tweaking every ery petal pl&gverwcentfrle a f,

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Their clients offer similarly effusive praise. Patty Jaqua, a sur geon who hired Goldman and Michaels for her wedding five years ago, can’t say enough. She and her husband married at his home in Stowe on New Year’s Day, and the florists were there until 2:30 a.m. on New Year’s Eve perfecting their work. That includ ed a floral wreath for Cliffy, the couple’s 100-pound chocolate Lab. “They were extremely enthusiastic for weeks leading up to the wed ding,” Jaqua recalls. “They were as enthusiastic about the wedding as my husband and I were.” Goldman and Michaels admit they enjoy getting to know their brides and grooms nearly as much as they enjoy crafting the arrange ments. Apparently, the feeling is mutual: They’re invited to as many as eight of every 10 wed dings they work. One grateful mother-of-the-bride even rented them tuxedos and a hotel room in which to change before the cere mony. And many of Wildflower's former clients keep in touch. “Every once in a while we ll get Christmas cards,” says Michaels, “and we’ll be like, ‘Oh, I remem ber them.’” Has either of these fellows walked down the aisle himself? They’d rather not say. But they make no effort to conceal their pleasure in watching other people get hitched. “It’s just something that we really like doing,” says Goldman, “and we like to make them laugh, cause it should be fun.” “Or cry when they’re walking down the aisle, they’re so happy,” adds Michaels. “Tears of joy. ” ®

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avid Moats’ Civil Wars: A Battle fo r Gay Marriage is a magisterial recounting of Vermont’s long, bitter fight over the nup tial rights o f homosexuals. The book 4 should be of great interest to an^hiie who registers for a civil union in Vermont — STORY my partner and I fall in that category — D A V ID as well as any gay couple who marries in W ARNER Massachusetts. But there’s one person for whom Civil I MAGE S Wars should be required reading: George JO R D AN S I L V E R M A N W. Bush. Why? Because Moats never wavers Civil Wars: A Battle from the conviction that the struggle in fo r Gay Marriage, Vermont was fundamentally a matter o£ by David Moats. human rights, a step along the road to Harcourt, 288 equality “that ranks... with Birmingham pages. $25. and Selma.” While he respects the reli gious convictions that made some Vermonters object to the prospect of gay marriage, he maintains a steady focus on the American ideal of a secular democracy. Bush, by the evidence of his recent State of the Union address, is apparently willing to discard those principles. By advocating a constitutional amendment that would forbid gay marriage, the President said in essence that he was is willing to eliminate the separation of church and state in order to satisfy the religious right. Moats’ book offers an indispensable counterpoint. The editorial-page editor of the Rutland Herald, Moats won a 2001 Pulitzer Prize for his “even-handed and influential” series of editorials on the gaymarriage debate. He is just as even-handed in Civil Wars-, at one point he praises the “measured yet determined tone” of a memorandum from House Judiciary Committee Chair Thomas Little, and it’s clear that Moats strives for those qualities in his own prose as well. He lapses only a few times into highflown foreshadowing: “The curtain was going up on the biggest drama of his life.” But for the most part Moats tells the story with a minimum of histrionics, and the cumulative impact of his quiet approach is powerful. In his introduction, Moats traces his impulse to write the book to a dinner

with friends in California, in October 2002. He remembers how difficult it was to convey to them “the full scope of the upheaval thdt had Overwhelmed Vermont” since Dec. 20, 1999. T hat’s when the Vermont Supreme Court decided that the state was constitutionally required to extend to same-sex couples “the common benefits and protections” afforded to mar ried couples, and that the legislature should make it happen. Civil Wars, he explains, is the story he would have told his friends that night in Oakland. Perhaps because he’s keeping a flatlander audience in mind, Moats strives to provide a historical context, and it’s invaluable. For instance, he discusses the fact that Vermont was the First state to outlaw slavery, making the astute paren thetical comment that the debate over immediate versus gradual emancipation would be echoed in the civil-union debates more than 150 years later. More important still, Moats traces the development of gay rights in Vermont. Its mostly exemplary history nonetheless showed the potential for virulent anti-gay sentiment in the state: in 1986, for instance, the Equal Rights Amendment »

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was defeated largely because the religious right argued that it would promote gay marriage. Moats also honors the courage of those who helped forge early legislative wins for gay rights — such as David Wolk, a state senator from Rutland whose sponsorship of hate crimes and anti-discrimination bills in the early ’90s drew death threats and arguably lost him a bid for lieutenant governor in 1992. But it is the men and women involved in the battle over gay marriage who form Moats’ main cast of characters, and he does a fine job bring ing them to life. We’re introduced to most of them in the book’s first chapter, at the m oment the Supreme C ourt decision is announced: Beth Robinson and Susan Murray, the M iddlebury lawyers who argued the case; their clients — Holly Puterbaugh and. Loi% Farnham, Niraj§; J t Beck andiJStacy Jolles, Start Baker'Srtd Peter

O f course, some positions were anything but nuanced. Among the most shocking passages in the book is Moats’ account of a public meeting in St. Albans, which was intended to be a questionand-answer session with legislators about civil unions but collapsed into chaos. Moats’ understat ed reporting makes the behavior of the attendees seem that much more outrageous: “When a teenager told the audience that she had two les bian parents, audience members shouted obsceni ties. According to the account in The Messenger, someone hollered, ‘Child abuse!’ Someone else shouted, ‘W hat do tiiey do you at night?”’ ^ * Perhaps it’s my fladandish naivete, but I was stunned by the level of homophobia revealed in this and many other incidents described in the book. That said, it’s good |p know who and where ^ u t potential enemsp a re .,^ a i^ i||^ '^ rm a ^ fo£ f example. The Athens town clerk “told voters she

Legislators who’d been on the fence *; saw that there was no possibility for compromise with bigots. Harrigan — who by the simple act of applying for a marriage license began a revolution; the lawmakers, such as C hittenden County Representative Bill Lippert, the Vermont Legislature’s only openly gay member; the revo lution-shaping judges, such as C hief Justice Jeffrey Amestoy; and Governor Howard Dean, who was criticized for signing the civil-unions bill behind closed doors but i § presented here as both pragmatic and principled. Moats expertly homes in on key biographical details. For instance, he mentions House Republican leader Bob Kinsey’s childhood memo ry of seeing a Jewish neighbor, Sam Schneider, doused with water by neighborhood bullies; later, that anecdote is recalled to telling effect. (And it’s a good thing Moats’ index is thorough, because it may take you a while to remember who Sam Schneider is.) Moats also knows how to hold back; we don’t know till pages after they’re introduced that Robinson and Murray are lesbians, which seems in keeping with Moats’ central tenet that a person’s humanity is more important than his or her sexual orientation. Robinson and Murray’s pioneering dedication to the cause of gay marriage, and Murray’s earlier successful defense of gay adoption, helped pave the way to civil unions in Vermont. But Moats makes clear that, for them, settling for the “sec ond-class status” of civil unions seemed at first to represent “a galling compromise.” Here and throughout the book, he conveys the complexities of Vermont’s gay-marriage debate; there were never just two sides, and his nuanced approach details the many shades of gray in the positions of legislators and voters.

would quit her job rather than sign a civil union certificate.” But the hatred arid ignorance that surfaced in St. Albans and elsewhere backfired. Legislators who’d been on the fence saw that there was no possibility for compromise with bigots and decid ed to vote their conscience, consequences be damned. Similarly, legislators didn’t take well to the intimidation tactics of Operation Rescue demagogue Randall Terry and conservative House member Nancy Sheltra — two of the most vocif erous opponents of gay marriage. On the other hand, the eloquence of those speaking in favor of civil unions proved persua sive. Moats’ comprehensive account of the pro ceedings leading up to the final vote includes large chunks of testimony from public and legislative debates, which are alternately appalling, eloquent, funny and moving. Bill Lippert’s statement is the most impressive of all. Moats devotes five pages to his account of the legislator’s speech; its combination of candor and impassioned reason may very well have turned the tide and won the vote for civil unions. It’s too long to excerpt here, but I’ll leave you with Moats’ account of what House Republican leader Bob Kinsey said, immediately after Lippert finished speaking. “‘Mr. Speaker! I just heard the greatest speech I’ve heard in thirty years,’ he told the packed chamber. ‘A nd that’s why I’m glad to be a friend of the member from Hinesburg, and that’s why I’m glad to be on his side.’” George W. Bush could learn a thing or two from Lippert. Please, someone send him a copy of Civil Wars today. ®

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DAVID W ARNER Educating Rita by Willy Russell, directed by Ja n a Tift. Lost N ation Theater, M ontpelier, th ro u g h Feb. 15.

n an era when people willingly submit to being sliced, diced and liposuctioned on national TV, Willy Russell's play Educating Rita — which inspired the 1983 film of the same name — seems almost quaint. Because Rita, a London hairdresser, believes the only way her life can change is from the inside out. Not that Rita isn’t in need of a style overhaul. Kathleen Keenan, who plays the title role at Lost Nation, struts on stage in a succession of fashion flashbacks so garish it’s like watching an ’80s harbinger of “W hat Not to Wear.” No wonder that Keenan has her costume assistants take a bow in the curtain call; they’ve got a lot to do. But from the moment Rita bursts into the office of the professor who’s going to tutor her, it’s clear that even if she suc ceeds in improving both her mind and her wardrobe, she’ll never lose her plucky common sense. Depending on your toler ance for plucky common sense, you may or may not want to stick around for the ride. Stick around. Yes, the basic narrative arc is predictable: Student will learn and

teacher will, too. But there are unexpected rewards along the way. t away that Frank, the We know, professor ( ent), is a mess. He hides his liquor bottles alphabetically among the titles on his bookshelf, his marriage has failed, and his relationship with his girl friend is failing. And he’s lost his will to teach, even though the size of his office suggests the university is still treating him rather well. Robert William Wolff’s beau tifully detailed set may be too spacious; you kind of expect a broken-down prof like this one to be consigned to a rat-hole by the fire escape, not a big room with a view. He’s low enough on the totem pole, though, to have to tutor students in Open University, the British version of adult education. And he’s not looking forward to the prospect of teaching Rita. Then he meets her and faces a different kind of problem: Because she’s such an original, he worries that education will flatten her uniqueness. Russell seems to share Frank’s contempt for academics; they’re represented by off-

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Gynt), he can hardly contain stage characters such as Trish, a himself. He’s a new man or young intellectual who inspires maybe the man he used to be, Rita but turns out to be a suici up on his feet and rediscovering dal poseur. And the playwright, himself as a teacher. like his character, tends to And Rita’s a new woman. romanticize the unlettered. Rita She realizes, too, that she’s made hasn’t been in Franks office for a breakthrough, and she goes more than a few minutes before he’s calling her a “breath of air. ” over to Frank and says slyly, “Aren’t you clever?” Keenan Later, her decision to leave her boorish husband Denny (anoth makes the line both wondering and playful. Throughout the er off-stage character) comes play, she subtly evokes Rita’s almost too easily: Learn a little changing persona — from eager English lit and, blammo, you’ve broken the chains of oppression! novice to literary name-dropper educated woman — without Maybe we don’t feel Rita’s p o r tin g to caricature. And ties to her husband because Keenan hasn’t explored them. ? that’s a feat when you’re wearing The actors may also be partly to ^ leopard prints and polka dots. (Costume designer Allison blame for the dead air when Parrish clearly had a blast.) Frank outright flirts with Rita. The fact that Bent and The playwright doesn’t go any Keenan are a couple in real life, where with these moments, and not to mention co-artistic direc the actors don’t, either. But no tors of Lost Nation, likely has a matter. Frank and Rita’s most lot to do with their easy rapport profound connection occurs in this production. Director when they talk about literature, Jana Tift deserves credit, too, and in these conversations Bent for its comic spark. The evening and Keenan shine. has its longueurs-. The play, Bent has the difficult task of playing a character who’s usually divided into multiple small scenes spread over two acts, morose, drunk or both. To his begins to feel redundant after a credit, he finds a variety of col while, particularly since most of ors to play within that limited the scenes cover similar territo palette, shrugging away lines with sardonic aplomb. But there ry. But, by and large, Frank and are faint glimmerings of hope in Rita are a pleasant pair with whom to while away a couple of his eyes when he begins to get hours. And they’ll make you feel through to Rita. And then, a whole lot better about the when she starts to make con world than an episode of nections between her own life “Extreme Makeover.” (Z) and literature (Ibsen’s Peer

SEVENDAYS I february 04-11, 2004 | fe a tu re 37A

There s a whole lot happening in tk

- Sugarhnsh • Warren • W al ______

The Blue Tooth 3

s e le c t

On the Sugarbush Access Road

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U *A~i I, ...... Apres Ski Party w/Sugarbush TV7 & LIVE MUSIC by the Mad C.Mountain Scramblers! Labatt IvC & Stella Specials.

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Mon-Sai 9 :3 0 -5 :3 0

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Irish Session

it m SEVEN DAYS.

MUSIC CALENDAR

WEDNESDAYS O pen M ic W ith "U n d e Buzz"

O p t o

Production

strangers Aaron Flinn's Salad D ays

here are two kinds of people in th< the world: the Irish and those wno wish they were! Let your gruaige down and rock and reel in 6/8 time at a traditional Irish session W ednesday 7 -I0pm . If you’re not Irish going in, between the ceol and the craic, the ol and the

Celtic cuisine, you’ll be a Paddy in no time. O nly at RiRa’s Irish Restaurant Pub. Practice a jig a n d build culinary anticipation at

www.rira.com

Cuz theres eatin and drinkin in it

8-Deep Vorcza (only area appearance)

496-2562 Jet. 100 & Rt. 17 W aitsfield

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I 2 a° 4

(8 0 2 ) 5 8 3 - 2 0 0 2

• D ining • N ightlife • Shopp

Ri R.t, Irish Pub and Restaurant, 123 Church St., Burlington, (p) 802 860 9401 www.rira.com *- * A -

* *

- 38A | february 04-11, ‘2004 | SEVENDAYS

CLUB

Wffi0

VIED. FEB11THW. ORIIK RB VIED. FEB 25W. JONES'

S K I + R I D E A L L DAY FOR O N LY W ITH V A L ID C O L L E G E ID c o p ie : r a g e

our

n ew

R A I L * T E R R A IN P A R K o r

T H E S U P E R P I P E * D J W I L L S H R E D T U N E S FR O M V E N T U R E IN T O T H E W OODS W IT H E X T R E M E G U R U J *15 L IV E

G E T S Y O U G E A R F O R T H E D A Y * D EM O S * RA A P R E S A C T IO N A T MT E L L E N L O D G E + M O R E .

[ M 7

D E A L S A T SI

F R A N C IS P A R T Y

R R E E Z E U A H F L O lA flN L E D L O C O

siasts. Two Sundays a month we take art from isolation to collaboration.

JIIONAJJAZITTAHWIK

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 7 TD11PM [ALL ACES] VISUAL ART & MUSIC: Andrew Dunlop PERFORMANCE: VT Poetry Slams with special guest TOOTHPICK

artsPROJECT EVERTSUNDAYOFEVERT MONTH UUU.ARTSPROJECTVT.COM 002.570.2624

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THE WAITING

D O O R S 6 :3 0 P M S H O W 7 :3 0 P M

ROOM 156 SAINT PAULSTREET, BURLINGTON

UUU.UAITINGROOHVT.COM

AIL AGES SHOW! Tickets available at the Flynn Center Box Office, Sound Source (Middlcbury), Peacock Music (Plattsburgh), charge by phone at 802-86FLYNN or

online at www.fiynntix.org. Presented by Higher Ground and GEG.

Dates, artists and tim es subject to change. A service fee is added to every ticket,

p°‘

SEVENDAYS I february 04-11, 2004 I m usic 39A

CLUB

D A T E S :: V E N U E S 4 1 1

:: S O U N D B I T E S

:: P O P T E N

:: R E V I E W T H I S

<clubdates> AA = ALL AGES

NC = NO COVER

W E D ,0 4 burlington area IRISH SESSIONS, Radio Bean, 8 p.m. NC.

PINE ST. JAZZ ENSEMBLE, Parima, 7 p.m. NC.

TOP HAT KARAOKE, 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. NC.

WILL PATTON ENSEMBLE (jazz), Leunig's, 7 p.m. NC.

LAST NIGHT'S JOY (Irish), Ri Ra Irish Pub, 7 p.m. NC.

JAMES HARVEY QUARTET (jazz), Red Square, 10 p.m. NC.

BRETT HUGHES & GORDON STONE (country-rock), 1/2, 8 p.m. NC.

STEALING FROM THIEVES, AKRASIA, THE INTERIOR (indie/alt-rock). Club Metronome, 10 p.m. $5.

LIQUID DEAD (Grateful Dead tribute), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC.

COLLEGE NIGHT W/DJ ROBBIE J. (top 40 dance), Millennium Nightclub, 10 p.m. $5/NC. 18+ before 11 p.m. DJ KWIK (hip-hop/r&b), Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC.

DAVE HARRISON W/STARSTRUCK KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 10 p.m. NC. DJ A-DOG (hip-hop/lounge), Waiting Room, 10 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE, The Pour House, 9 p.m. NC. HIP-HOP DJS, The Monkey House, 8 p.m. NC.

THE GROOVE COMPONENTS, THE FLO (funk-rock), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $6. 18+ OPEN MIKE, Geno's Karaoke Club, from 8 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, t * Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

champlain valley BRENDAN TAFFE (fiddle/guitar), Good Times Cafe, 7:30 p.m. Donations.

LADIES' NIGHT, City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. MONSTER HITS KARAOKE, Otter Creek Tavern, 9 p.m. NC.

:: central HOUSE JAM, Charlie 0's, 9:30 p.m. NC. ROB WILLIAMS (singer-songwriter), Purple Moon Pub, 7 p.m. NC.

OPEN MIKE (hosted by Uncle Buzz), Mad V Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. NC.

:: n o rth e rn ULU (funk-jazz), Monopole, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Riverview Cafe, 5 p.m. NC.

T H U .0 5 ♦

:: b u rlin g to n a r e a THE SHANE HARDIMAN TRIO (jazz). Radio Bean, 6 p.m. NC, followed by

JEREMY HARPLE, BLACKTHORNE WILDERNESS (rebel folk), 9 p.m. NC. QUEEN CITY ROCK (classic cuts, DJs Chia & Elliott), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $5/NC.

T H U .0 5 »

d o u b l e ta k e

Family Band

” Two star groups head to Vermont this week for a Queen City shakedown.

Robert Randolph and the

(pictured) bring a fresh, funky sound to the jam-rock world. Based around Randolph's virtuosic pedal-steel guitar playing, the Family

Band play a truly unique, gospel-fueled funk. Ohio's

O.A.R. are developing a rabid base of fans obsessed with their summery sounds. Next Wednesday,

February 11, the two bands gang up on Burlington's Memorial Auditorium.

40A

40A rfe b ru a ry O ^ f iy 2&04 T SEVlNDAY!P

<clubdates> T H U .0 5 «

SUN

39A

BIG JOE BURRELL & FRIENDS (jazzblues), Halvorson's,' 8 p.m. NC.

ELLEN POWELL & GUESTS (jazz), Leunig's, 7 p.m. NC.

EYE OH YOU (live hip-hop), Red Square, 10 p.m„NC.

SAGE FRANCIS (hip-hop; two shows), Club Metronome, 5:30 p.m. & 9:45 p.m. $10/12. Early show AA. KAMIKAZI COMEDY ACT, Nectar's, 8 p.m. NC, followed by LIQUID DEAD (Grateful dead tribute), 9:30 p.m. NC. LADIES' NIGHT (DJ Robbie J.), Millennium Nightclub, 10 p.m. $5/NC. 18+ before 11 p.m.

TOP HAT ENTERTAINMENT DANCE PARTY (hip-hop/r&b DJs), Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC.

LIVE MUSIC, Manhattan Pizza 8< Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC.

L BURNERS (hip-hop DJs), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC.

REGGAE NIGHT (DJ), J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

MAD MOUNTAIN SCRAMBLERS (bluegrass), Waiting Room, 10 p.m. NC.

LIVE BRAZILIAN MUSIC, Souza's, 6:30 p.m. NC.

TRINITY (Irish), Henry's Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC.

KEVIN MULHANEY (acoustic standards & originals). Upper Deck Pub, Windjammer, 7 p.m. NC. WRUV DJS (eclectic), The Monkey House, 8 p.m. NC.

MATT NATHANSON, ERIN MCKEOWN (singer-songwriters), Higher Ground, 7:30 p.m. $10/12. AA. BUDDHA FOOD GROUP (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Geno's Karaoke Club, from 6 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/FRANK, Franny 0'?, § p.m. NC. ' ‘ ' 11 ' '

:: c h a m p l a i n v a l l e y OPEN MIKE, Otter Creek Tavern, 9:30

WALES TALES:: Super Furry Animals may have originated during the mid-'90s Brit-pop boom, but these psychedelic rockers are more than just another Union Jack-waving group of hooligans. The Welsh band has consistently topped itself by releasing a remarkable string of records, each better than the one before.

P h a n to m P o w er,

their latest, is a magical collection of sugary pop and transcendental trippiness. Catch the

p.m. NC.

COOPER & LAVOIE (rock), Bobcat Cafe, 8 p.m. NC.

OPEN JAM (blues^funk/rock), Ashley's, 9 p.m. NC.

Animals this Sunday at Higher Ground. Indie heroes Papa M open.

Jez Lowe Friday, February 20, 2004

BcireRoots Hydroponics

8 :0 0 p .m .

With a wealth of songs and music unique to the windswept corner of Northeast England, Jez, from Durham County, England, sings of working class people, blending a sensitivity and humor about their lives. Richard Thompson has called Lowe “the best song writer to come out of England in a long time.” A special return visit

Hydroponics Supplies Garden Grow Lights Grow Bags / Pots Organics / S o ils Starter K its

T h e U n ited M ethodist Church

A n d m u ch m ore

P resented by

one stop

AFTER DARK M U S IC SERIES

STEREO SHOP

Light meals available. Tickets: $ 1 8 Advance

STAR MILL, MIDDLEBURY ■ 388.2755 ■ M-F 10-6, SAT 10-5, SUN 11-4 www.middlebury.net/soundsource/

$ 2 0 D oor

Rte. 7 & Sem inary St. • Middlebury www.afterdarkmusicseries.com Tickets on sale at: Middlebury Inn, Main Street Stationery or by calling 802-388-0216 for more information.

88 Mallets Bay Rve Winooski VT 8 0 2 -6 5 5 -4 1 9 5 www.barerootshydro.com

SEVENDAYS*f February 04-11-, 2004 I m usic 41A

SUPER FURRY ANIMALS

venues 411 Angela's Pub, 86 Main St., Middlebury, 388-6936. Ashley's, Merchant's Row, Randolph, 728-9182. Backstage Pub, 60 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 878-5494. Banana Winds Cafe & Pub, Town Market Place, Susie

Wilson Rd., Essex

J e t., 879-0752.

:: c e n t r a l OPEN MIKE, Montpelier Community Coffee House, Rhapsody Main Street, 7 p.m. Donations. BILLY CALDWELL (acoustic rock), Purple Moon Pub, 6 p.m. NC. COSA BUENA (Latin jazz), Starlight Lounge, 9 p.m. NC.

n o rth e rn IRISH JAM SESSION W/ALLAN CHURCH, Bee's Knees, 7:30 p.m. NC. AA. reggae n ig h t w / so lom o nic so u n d

SYSTEM, Phoenix Lounge, 10 p.m. NC. SEEPEOPLES (rock), Monopole, 9 p.m. NC.

SASSY KARAOKE W/THE C MONSTER, L. D. & C.C., Riverview Cafe, 5 p.m. NC.

LADIES' NIGHT (top 40, hip-hop; DJ Frostee), Tabu Nightclub, 9 p.m. $2/10. 18+ before 11 p.m.

s o u th e rn CHERYL WHEELER, MICHAEL VEITCH (singer-songwriters), Middle Earth Music Hall, 8 p.m. $20.

F R I.0 6 :: b u r l i n g t o n

a re a

JOSH ADRIANCE, PANSENSICAL PAR LOR, V0RCZA (classical bass, folk, funk-jazz), Radio Bean, 9 p.m. NC.

BLAST W/DJS CHIA & ELLIOTT (tech-

Bayside Pavilion, 13 Georgia Shore Rd., St. Albans, 524-0909. Bee's Knees, 82 Lower Main St., M orrisville, 888-7889. The Bobcat Cafe, 5 Main St., B ristol, 453-3311. Boony's Grille, Rt. 236, Franktin, 933-4569. Borders Books 8t Music, 29 Church St., B u rlington, 865-2711. The Brewski, M ountain Road, Jeffersonville, 644-6366. Cambridge Coffeehouse, Second Congregational Church, Jeffersonville, 644-5721.

Capitol Grounds, 45 State St., M ontpelier, 223-7800. Charlie 0's, 70 Main St., M ontpelier, 223-6820. Chow! Bella, 28 N. Main St., St. Albans, 524-1405. City Limits, 14 Greene St., Vergennes, 877-6919. Club Metronome, 188 Main St., B u rlington, 865-4563. Cobbweb, Sandybirch Rd., Georgia, 527-7000. Contois Auditorium, B u rlington City Hall, 865-7166. Eclipse Theater, 48 Carroll Rd., W aitsfield, 496-8913. Edgewater Pub, 340 M alletts Bay Ave., Colchester, 865-4214. Flynn Center/FlynnSpace, 153 Main St., B u rlington, 863-5966. The Fish,. Rt. 12, N o rthfield Falls, 485-7577. Franny O's, 733 Queen City Pk. Rd., B u rlington, 863-2909. Geno's Karaoke Club, 127 Porters Point Road, Colchester,. 658-2160. Gezellig, 324 N. Winooski Ave., B u rlington, 660-9346. Good Times Cafe, Rt. 116, Hinesburg, 482-4444. Greenstreet's Restaurant, 30-40 Main St., B u rlington, 862-4930. Halvorson's Upstreet Cafe, 16 Church St., B u rlington, 658-0278. Hector's, 1 Lawson Ln., B u rlington, 862-6900. Henry's Pub, Holiday In n , 1068 W illis to n Rd., S. B u rlington, 863-6361. Higher Ground, 1 Main St., Winooski, 654-8888. The Hungry Lion, 1145 Rt. 108, Jeffersonville, 644-5848. J. Morgan's at Capitol Plaza, 100 Main St., M ontpelier, 223-5252. J.P.'s Pub, 139 Main St., B u rlington, 658-6389. Kacey's, 31 Federal St., St. Albans, 524-9864. The Kept Writer, 5 Lake St., St. Albans, 527-6242. Kincade's, Rt. 7, M ilton, 893-4649. Koffee Kat, 130 Margaret St., Plattsburgh, 518-566-8433. Leunig's, 115 Church St., B u rlington, 863-3759. Lincoln Inn Lounge, 4 Park St., Essex J e t., 878-3309. Lion's Den Pub, M ountain Road, Jeffersonvitle, 644-5567. Mad Mountain Tavern, Rt. 100, W aitsfield, 496-2562. Mad River Unplugged at Valley Players Theater, Rt. 100, W aitsfield, 496-8910.

Manhattan Pizza 8t Pub, 167 Mary's Restaurant The In n a t

Main St., B u rlington, 658-1)776. Baldwin Creek, North Route 116, Bristol,

453-2432.

Matterhorn, 4969 M ountain Rd., Stowe, 253-8198. McDonough's, Upper Bridge Street, Plattsburgh, 518-566-8126. McKee's Pub, 19 East Allen St., W inooski, 655-0048.

Millennium Nightclub, 165 Church St., B u rlington, 660-2088. Middle Earth Music Hall, Bradford, 222-4748. Mr. Mike's, 206 Main St., B u rlington, 864-0072. The Monkey House, 30 Main St., Winooski, 655-4563. Monopole, 7 Protection Ave., Plattsburgh, N.Y., 518-563-2222. Muddy Waters, 184 Main St., B u rlington, 658-0466. The Music Box, 147 Creek Rd., Craftsbury Village, 586-7533. Nectar's, 188 Main St., B u rlington, 658-4771. 1 /2 , 136 1 /2 Church St., B u rlington, 865-0012. 135 Pearl St., B u rlin g to n , 863-2343. Old Lantern, Greenbush Rd., Charlotte, 425-2120. Orion Pub 8i Grill, Route 108, Jeffersonville, 644-8884. Otter Creek Tavern, 35 Green St., Vergennes, 877-3667. Overtime Saloon, 38 S. Main St., St. Albans, 524-0357. Paramount Theater, 30 Center St., Rutland, 775-0570. Parima, 185 Pearl St., B u rlington, 864-7917. Pickle Barrel Nightclub, Killingfcrn Rd., K illin g to n , 422-3035. Phoenix Bar, Sugarbush Village, Warren, 583-1024. The Positive Pie, 69 Main St., Plainfield, 454-0133. The Pour House, 1900 W illiston Rd., S. B u rlington, 862-3653. Purple Moon Pub, Rt. 100, W aitsfield, 496-3422. Radio Bean, 8 N. Winooski Ave., B u rlington, 660-9346. Rasputin's, 163 Church St., B u rlington, 864-9324. . Red Square, 136 Church St., B u rlington, 859-8909. Rhapsody Main St., 28 Main St., Montpelier, 229-6112. Ripton Community Coffee House, Rt. 125, 388-9782. Ri Ra Irish Pub, 123 Church St., B u rlington, 860-9401. Riverview Cafe, 14 Margaret St., Plattsburgh, 518-566-0666. Riverwalk Records, 4 Langdon St., M ontpelier, 223-3334. Rozzi's Lakeshore Tavern, 1072 West Lakeshore Dr., Colchester, 863-2342. Ruben James, 159 Main St., B u rlington, 864-0744. Rusty Nail, M ountain Rd., Stowe, 253-6245. Sami's Harmony Pub, 216 Rt. 7, M ilton, 893-7267. Souza's Churrascaria, 55 Main St., B u rlin g to n , 864-2433. St. John's Club, 9 Central Ave., B u rlington, 864-9778. Starbucks, B u rlington Town Center, 651-9844. Starlight Lounge, 48 Carroll Rd., W aitsfield, 496-8913. Stowehof Inn, Edson H ill Rd., Stowe, 253-9722. Sweetwaters, 118 Church St., B u rlington, 864-9800. Tabu Nightclub, 14 Margaret St., Plattsburgh, 518-566-0666. Three Mountain Lodge, Jeffersonville, 644-5736. Trackside Tavern, 18 M alletts Bay Ave., W inooski, 655-9542. Trinity Church, 137 Main St., M ontpelier, 229-9158. Two Brothers Tavern, 86 Main St., Middlebury, 388-0002. 242 Main, B u rlin g to n , 862-2244. Upper Deck Pub at the Windjammer, 1076 W illiston Rd., S. B u rlington, 862-6585. Vermont Pub 8t Brewery, 144 College St., B u rlin g to n , 865-0500. The Village Cup, 30 Rt. 15, Jericho, 899-1730. The Waiting Room, 156 St. Paul St.,- B u rlin g to n , 862-3455. Wine Bar at Wine Works, 133 St. Paul St., B u rlin g to n , 951-9463.

ONE MAIN ST. •W IN O O SK I* INFO 654-8888 DOORS 8 P M * SHOW 9 PM unless noted ALL SHOWS 18+ WITH POSITIVE 1.0. unless noted WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 4 $6 AT DOOR

THE GROOVE COMPONENTS THE FLO

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 5 $10 ADVANCE $12 DAY OF SHOW A ll AGES | DOORS 7PM

MATT NATHANSON ERIN MCKEOWN FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 6 $10 ADVANCE $12 DAY OF SHCW

JAZZ MANDOLIN LUCY CHAPIN SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 7 $16 ADVANCE $18 DAY OF SHOW 106.7 WIZN & SAM ADAMS WELCOME

THE MACHINE SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 8 $13 ADVANCE $15 DAY OF SHOW ALL AGES | DOORS 7PM

SUPER FURRY ANIMALS

no/house), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $5.

LIVE DJ, Ri Ra Irish Pub, 10 p.m. NC. CHROME COWBOYS (vintage country),

TOP HAT DANCETERIA (DJs), Rasputin's,

Red Square, 10 p.m. NC. PHIL HENRY (rock), Sweetwater', 9 p.m. NC.

FLAVA (hip-hop/dancehall^old school;

THE ADAMS (rock), Henry's Pub, 9:30

1 03s Robbie J. & Toxic) Nightclub, 9 p.m. $3/10. 18+ before 11 p.m. KARAOKE, Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 10 p.m. NC. L BURNERS (hip-hop DJs), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC.

p.m. NC., * VIBES TRIO (jazz). Upper Deck Pub, Windjammer, 7 p.m. NC.

EYE OH YOU W/DAVE GRIPPO, DJ FATTIE B., DJ HEDFONZ (hip-hop/beats/ groove; Hop 7 CD release party), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. $5. MIKE PEDERSEN (rock), Nectar's, 8 p.m. NC, followed by LAMBSBREAD (reg gae; Bob Marley's b-day bash), 9:30 p.m. NC.

10 p.m. $3.

DAVE HARRISON W/STARSTRUCK KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 10 p.m, NC. DJ A-DOG (hip-hop/lounge), Waiting Room, 10 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE KAPERS (host Bob Bolyard), St. John's Club, 7 p.m. NC.

JAZZ MANDOLIN PROJECT, LUCY CHAPIN (jamgrass), Higher Ground, 9:30 p.m. $10/12. 18+ MR. FRENCH (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/TOWNIE, Banana Winds, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

WIZN BAR & GRILL (live radio show), Lincoln Inn Lounge, 4 p.m. NC, fol lowed by SUPERSOUNDS DJ (dance party/game show), 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Geno's Karaoke Club, from 6 p.m. NC. ULTERIOR MOTIVE (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. SAND BLIZZARD (rock), Franny O's, 9 p.m. NC.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12 $10 ADVANCE S12 DAY OF SHOW ALL AGES INTERNATIONAL ROOTS REGGAE MASTERS

IN N ER VISIO N S ITATION SOUND

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13 S10 ADVANCE S10 DAY OF SHQW ALL AGES | NON-SMOKING 9TH ANNUAL VALENTINE'S DAY LATIN DANCE

GRUPO SABOR W / G U EST PER FO R M ER S

F R I .0 6 »

HECTOR ’ EL SALSERO' COBEO

42A |

FREE SALSA DANCE LESSONS: SPM SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 14 $12 ADVANCE S15 DAY OF SHOW A SAINT VALENTINE'S DAY MASACRE (OOPS) MASCARA BALL 104.7 THE POINT WELCOMES VT PEOPLE W/ AIDS COALTiON BENEFIT

W INTER IS A DRAG BALL I

--------( N IG H T -C L U B »--------

HOSTED B Y HOUSE OF LEMAY

WEDNESDAY

Monday Feb.9

A-DOG

BUDWE1SERTRUE MUSIC PRESENTS

THURSDAY

MAD MOUNTAIN SC R A M B LE R S FRIDAY

Wednesday Feb. II

A-DOG

THE BIG WU

SATURDAY

F U LL S P E C T R U M SOUND W / S E L E C T A M E S Z E N JA H

Thurs. March 4

SUNDAY

BRUNCH 4 artsP R O JEC T 7 io a m

-11PM ,S3

Sunday March 7

ANDREW DUNLOP VT SLAMS

RAHZEI OF THE ROOTS

MONDAY DOORS: 7PM, SHOW: 9PM

QUEER LOUNGE TUESDAY

L Y L E KING

Sunday March 28

SEVEN DAYSIES

‘^ T E f f iE E J E I E OPEN MON THROUGH SAT

5:3O-2:00AM SUNDAY BRUNCH 10AM-4PM • 862-3455

THE WAITING ROOM

135 PEARL ST. BURLINGTON, VT 8 6 3 .2 3 4 3 135PEARLCOI

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 15 $13 ADVANCE S15 DAY OF SHOW DOORS 7PM

HAN KWILLIAMS III SCOTT BIRAM

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THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 19 $8 AT DOOR DOORS 9PM

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taste

FEAT. THE MACHINE, STEVE SARD OF BEATLEMANIA LIVE R JAZZ IS DEAD

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UPCOMING SHOWS

2/26 STEVE KiMOCK BANS 3/5 THE SAMPLES 2/27 BRIGHT EYES 3/6 SUSPECT/STATE RADIO JIM JAMES. M. WARD 3/10 GREAT BIS SEA

2/28 SETH YACOVONE 3/11 PERCY HILL RAO 3/2 JONATHA BROOKE 3/14 DARK STAR ORCHESTRA 3/4 SANCHEZ 3/15 DARK STAR ORCHESTRA

WEDNESDAY: KARAOKE + TRANIVIISSION

Tickets available o n line or by phone

123 Church S t Burlington 8 6 0 .9 4 0 1 wwwrira.com

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ADVANCE TICKETS AVAILABLE AT HIGHERGROUNOMUSiC.COM, HIGHER GROUND BOX OFFICE. PURE POP RECORDS. PEACOCK MUSIC, or call S86.468.7619

THURSDAY: QUEEN CITY ROCK COMING 3 /14 .04

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the higher ground box office is open m-f from

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111 AM SELLING TICKETS TO UPCOMING EVENTS j

42A I february 04-11, 2004 I SEVENDAYS

<clubdates> F R I .0 6 «

41A

:: c h a n rip la in v a lle y TOP HAT DANCE PARTY (DJ), City Limits, 9 p.m. NC.

LIVE MUSIC, Otter Creek Tavern, 9:30 p.m. NC.

PATRICK FITZSIMMONS (folk-rock), Mary's at Baldwin Creek, 8 p.m. $10.

ABBY & BART SHOW (folk-rock), Two Brothers, 9 p.m. NC.

THE FIGGS, JAMES KOCHALKA SUPERSTAR (alt/indie-rock), Club

JUPITER KINGS (rock), Charlie 0's, 9:30

NUCLEUS, LURE IMONA (rock),

p.m. NC. p.m. $3.

MANIFEST NEXTO ME (live hip-hop/ acid-jazz), Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. IRRESISTABLE PREDATOR (rock), Starlight Lounge, 9:30 p.m. $3. AA. GREAT BIG TRIO (jumpin' Delta blues), Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $3-5.

n o rth e rn LATIN & SWING DANCE PARTY (DJ Hector Cobeo), Chow! Bella, 8:30 p.m. NC. DISTANT RELATIVES (rock). Monopole, 9 p.m. NC. LIVE DJ, Riverview Cafe, 5 p.m. NC. RETRO ('80s-'90s dance/hip-hop; DJ Frostee), Tabu Nightclub, 9 p.m. $2/10. 18+ before 11 p.m.

:: s o u t h e r n GOPHER BROKE (folk), Middle Earth Music Hall, 8 p.m. $12.

SA T. 0 7 :: b u r l i n g t o n

a re a

7 DEADLY SINS (Three Penny Opera), Gezellig, 8 p.m. $7.

vicious MC who makes wild, uncompromising music, Francis spits rhymes that force cats to really lis te n . His latest LP, under the name Non-Prophets, is a chest-thumping, mind-twisting epic. Currently, Francis is hitting the highway with

Congregational Church, Burlington, 7 p.m. $15. AA. JIM BRANCA (jump blues), Ri Ra Irish Pub, 10 p.m. NC. A-DOG &-NASTEE (hip-hop), Red Square, 10 p.m. NC. ' NOUVEAU JAZZ QUARTET, Sweetwaters, 9 p.m. NC.

:: c e n t r a l

TRINITY (Irish), Purple Moon Pub, 8:30

RHYTHM AND RHYM E : : Sage Francis is one of hip-hop's best-kept secrets. A

BLUEGRASS GOSPEL PROJECT, First

STEPHEN CALLAHAN (jazz), Radio Bean, 6 p.m. NC, followed by NEIL CLEARY (alt-country singer-songwriter), 9 p.m. NC.

TASTE W/CRAIG MITCHELL (techno/ house), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $5.

Metronome, 10 p.m. $8/10. Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC.

MASSIVE (DJs), Rasputin's, 10 p.m. $3. SPIN CYCLE (hip-hop/reggae/old school; DJs Robbie J., Kwik & Big A), Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m. $3/10. 18+ before 11 p.m. KARAOKE, Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 10 p.m. NC. DIAZ & RUGGER (hip-hop/r&b DJs), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC.

DAVE HARRISON W/STARSTRUCK KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 10 p.m. NC. DJ SELECTAH MESZENJAH (reggae/dancehall/hip-hop), Waiting Room, 10 p.m. NC. THE ADAMS (rock), Henry's Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. THE MACHINE (Pink Floyd tribute). Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $16/18. AA PRISM (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE W/MIKE PELKEY, Banana Winds, 8 p.m. NC. SAND BLIZZARD (rock), Backstage Pub, * 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Geno's Karaoke Club, from 3 p.m. NC. ULTERIOR MOTIVE (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/FRANK, Franny 0's, 9 p.m. NC.

:: c h a m p l a i n

v a lle y

DANCE PARTY (DJ), City Limits, 9 p.m. NC.

W0MENSING, OPEN MIKE (a cappella), Ripton Community Coffeehouse, 7:30 P.M. $5/2. AA.

his fiery, political "Fuck Clear Channel" tour. This Thursday, he brings the funk to Club Metronome for two shows.

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THURSDAY, FEB. 5

Kevin Mulham acoustic standards &

V ibes Trio

jazz

THURSDAY, FEB. 12

Shaun & Shelby King standards & original

Non-Sm oking, plenty of park ing, great food, professional servers & happy bartenders

Upper Deck Pub 1076 Williston Road , Sq Burlington • 8 6 2 -6 5 8 6

SEVENDAYS I february 04-11, 2004 I m usic 43A

10 p o p te n

i ^

m enRonom e www.clubmetronome.com full show listing

FEBRUARY 4

WEDNESDAY

TO P

S E L L E R S

AT LO C A L

PURE POP RECORDS, BURLINGTON 1. Ani DiFranco — Educated Guess 2. Fantomas — Delinum Cordia 3. Air — Talkie Walkie 4. Greg Brown — Honey in the Lion's Head 5. Stereolab — Margarine Eclipse 6. Swollen Members — Heavy 7. Outkast — Speakerboxxx/The Love Below 8. Diverse — One A.M. 9. Califone — Heron King Blues 10. Teitur — Poetry & Airplanes

IN D E P E N D E N T

R E C O R D

BUCH SPIELER MUSIC, MONTPELIER 1. Sarah McLachlan — Afterglow 2. Outkast — Speakerboxxx/The Love Below 3. The Beatles — Let I t Be... Naked 4. Various Artists — Vermont: Kitchen Tunks and Parlor Songs 5. Warren Zevon — The Wind 6. Norah Jones — Come Away With Me 7. Jack Johnson — On and On 8. Sheryl Crow — Very Best Of 9. Dido — Life fo r Rent 10. Al Green — I Can't Stop

S T O R E S .

DATE: S U N D A Y

EXILE ON MAIN ST., BARRE 1. AC/DC — Who Made Who 2. Toby Keith — Shock 'N' Vail 3. Various Artists — Lizzy McGuire Soundtrack 4. The Eagles — Very Best Of 5. Kelis — Tasty 6. Sheryl Crow — Very Best Of 7. Greg Brown — Honey in the Lion's Head 8. Evanescence — Falling 9. Golden Earring — Millbrook 10. Stacie Orrico — Stacy Orrico

0 1 /2 5 -

VERMONT BOOK SHOP, MIDDLEBURY 1. Various Artists — Working Original Cast Recording 2. Oscar Peterson Trio — With Respect to Nat 3. Various Artists — Cold Mountain Soundtrack 4. Outkast — Speakerboxxx/The Love Below 5. Scruggs/Skaggs/Watson — 3 Pickers 6. Various Artists — Lord o f the Rings: Return o f the King 7. Nina Simone — After Hours 8. Pink Floyd — The Wall 9. Gilbert & Sullivan — Pirates o f Penzance 10. Various Artists — School o f Rock Soundtrack

SATURDAY

STEALING FROM THIEVES

0 1 /3 1

PEACOCK MUSIC, PLATTSBURGH 1. Sheryl Crow — Very Best Of 2. Ani DiFranco — Educated Guess 3. Toby Keith — Shock 'N' Y'all 4. Primus — Animals Should Not Try to Act Like People 5. Story of the Year — Page Avenue 6. Outkast — Speakerboxxx/The Love Below 7. Los Lonely Boys — Los Lonely Boys 8. Dave Matthews — Some Devil 9. Brahms/Battle/Levine — German Requiem 10. Godsmack — Faceless

AKRASIAan d THEINTERIOR

ISAGE FRANCIS

GRAND BUFFET FEBRUARY 6

FRIDAY

HOP PARTY 7 hFATTIE

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SATURDAYFEBRUARY 7

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Sunday

EDDIE

FROM OHIO

SUNDAY

TUT

HGHTM ASS

Tabu Nightclub, 9 p.m. $2/10. 18+ before 11 p.m.

:: c e n t r a l GREENBAG (eclectic acoustic), Riverwalk Records, 7 p.m. NC. SURPACE DWELLERS (rock), Charlie 0's, 9:30 p.m. NC. THE WARRENS (roots), Purple Moon Pub, 8:30 p.m. $4. THE ITALS (roots reggae), Starlight Lounge, 8 p.m. $12/15. AA, followed by DJ ELLIS (reggae/hip-hop/lounge), 11 p.m. NC/$3. NAMED BY STRANGERS (rock). Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. X-RAYS (rock, r&b), Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $3-5.

:: n o r t h e r n ABBY JENNE (folk-rock), Overtime Saloon, 9 pirn. N£+v~ - - m * ~A.c

ANTHONY GERACI Qazz), Emily's, Stowehof Inn, 7 p.m. NC. SATURDAY NIGHT SHOWCASE (eclectic new bands), Sami's Harmony Pub, 7 p.m. NC. DISTANT RELATIVES (rock), Monopole, 9 p.m. NC. LIVE DJ, Riverview Cafe, 5 p.m. NC. CLUB MIX (top 40, house, techno, dance, hip-hop, reggae; DJ Q.D.O.),

:: s o u t h e r n HIGHLAND ROVERS (Celtic), Middle Earth Music Hall, 8 p.m. $12.

S U N .0 8 :: b u r l i n g t o n

a re a

OLD-TIME SESSIONS, Radio Bean, 1 p.m. NC, followed by TIM FOLEY (jazz/blues), from 5 p.m. NC. CHRIS PUREKA, LENELLE MOISE (singer-songwriters; womyn's dance), 135 Pearl, 8 p.m. $6. NASTEE SOUL SUNDAYS, Red Square, 10 p.m. NC. EDDIE FROM OHIO (folk), «ub Metronome, 8 p.m. $10/12, followed by SUNDAY NIGHT MASS (DJs), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. $3. OPEN MIKE, Nectar's, 8 p.m. NC. FREESTYLE (hip-hop/r&b DJ), Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC/$7. 18+ ANDREW DUNLOP, VT SLAMS (artsPROJECT VT benefit), Waiting Room, 7 p.m. $3.

SUPER FURRY ANIMALS, PAPA M (alt-rock, indie-rock), Higher Ground, 7:30 p.m., $13/15. AA. KARAOKE, Geno's Karaoke Club, from 6 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

:: C h a m p l a i n

v a lle y

JAZZ BRUNCH W/FRED BARNES, Two Brothers Tavern, 11:30 a.m. NC.

:: c e n t r a l SCOTT MCALLISTER (Celtic & classical guitar). Starlight Lounge, 8 p.m. NC.

THE PERFECT SANDWICH, SPREAD FRED (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. MUSIC MACHINE (eclectic), The Monkey House, 9 p.m. NC.

B altim o re l i d

P N

.0 9

DEVIN RYANa r t IZZA

OPEN MIKE, Sami's Harmony Pub, 7 p.m. NC. JERRY LAVENE (jazz guitar), Chow! Bella, 6:30 p.m. NC.

WEDNESDAY

SOULIVE (funk-jazz), Pickle Barrel, 10 p.m. $8-10.

:: b u rlin g to n area OPEN MIKE, Radio Bean, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, RiTta Irish Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. GRIPPO FUNK BAND, Red Square, 10 p.m. NC. METRO LOUNGE W/DJ IZZA (grooves), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. NC.

THURSDAYFEBRUARY 12

EVAHFLOWIN " W FRIDAY

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S M ITTEN S

J A M E S

WE NEED YOU! T h e G r e a t e r B u r lin g t o n Y M C A s e e k s f a n t a s t i c v o lu n t e e r s t o h e lp p r o v id e p r o g r a m s t h a t m a k e a d i f f e r e n c e in o u r c o m m u n it y .

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USA

in f. P A T R I C K

44A

Th u r s d a y

FEBRUARY 19

FRIDAY

FEBRUARY 20

NIGEL RICHARDS

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Presents:

DJ LARS REAIW ORLO FEBRUARY 21

SATURDAY

Latin Valentine’s Dance featuring the fabulous

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F IT Z S IM M O N S

L-BURNERS NIGHT OF HIP-HOP

FEBRUARY 18

CHRIS WHITLEY

(£ > © G Q O !•

K O C H A IK A

WEDNESDAY POINT PRESENTS

the

^ 7

FEBRUARY 13

SaturdayFEBRUARY 14 VALENTINES T fif

(xitOFF KIM TRIO (jazz),ifadio B ^ a # f p.m. NC, followed by KEVIN GREENBLOTT, MIKE BURRIS (singer-song writers), 9 p.m. NC. LIQUID LOUNGE (DJs), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. NC. SONNY & PERLEY (international cabaret), Leunig's, 7 p.m. NC.

T U E .1 Q »

FEBRUARY 11

MANIFEST NEXTO ME W ITH0RBIX REX

:: s o u t h e r n

^ b u r lin g to n

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m u s ic

:: n o r t h e r n

T U E .1 0 M

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FEBRUARY 9

MONDAY

SATURDAY

FEBRUARY 25

MANIFEST NEXTO ME W ITHJONES THURSDAYFEBRUARY 24

ARS MOONRAKER

m and

FRIDAY

THE IZZYS

FEBRUARY 27

theDUNNOS

FEAT. MEMBERS OF LED LOCO

8 DJ Hector Cobeo “El Salsero" THURSDAY MARRCHA

ZEN TRICKSTERS

F r id a y , F e b . 1 3 t h 8 p m , $ 1 0

every SATURDAY

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Fitness Instructors

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New! Arts & Humanities Classes for Kids & Adults

Interested in lending your time and talent?

Call YMCA Volunteer Coordinator Sara Osaba at 862-9622 x l2 2 YMCA or email her at We build strong kids, strong families, strong communities. sosaba@gbymca.org. ll

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8pm - FREE Salsa Dance Lessons 9:30 pm - Dancing Begins

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2/15- SNMw. JOHN SELWAY 3/7-The National 3/12-Dave Grippo Funk 3/26-Voice (CDRELEASE PARTY) 4/3- Stellastarr* w. The Killers 4/15-16- Granola Funk Express (2 nightsii) INF0:865-4563

DOORS OPEN AT 9:00 UNLESS NOTED EARLY SHOWS DOORS AT 7:00

TICKETS AVAILABLE AT:

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44A I February 04-11, 2004 I SEVENDAYS

T U E .IO «

43A

LINK UP (reggae DJs), Red Square, 9 p.m. NC.

BLUESDAY W/JIM BRANCA, Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC.

TRASHBACK W/TRICKY PAT & ROBBIE J. (retro/'80s), Millennium Nightclub, 10 p.m. $5/NC. 18+ before 11 p.m.

OXONOISE (rock), J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. LYLE KING (singer-songwriter), Waiting Room, 9 p.m. NC.

ALEJANDRO TORRENS (Latin jazz; mem ber of Grupo Sabor), The Monkey House, 9 p.m. NC.

:: n o rth e rn

COLLEGE NIGHT W/DJ ROBBIE J. (top 40 dance), Millennium Nightclub, 10 p.m. $5/NC. 18+ before 11 p.m. DJ KWIK (hip-hop/r&b), Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 9:30 p.m, NC.

DAVE HARRISON W/STARSTRUCK KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 10 p.m. NC. DJ A-DOG (hip-hop/lounge), Waiting Room, 10 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE, The Pour House, 9 p.m. NC. O.A.R., ROBERT RANDOLPH & THE FAMILY BAND (rock), Memorial Auditorium, 7:30 p.m. $26.50/28. AA.

CHRIS LYON (singer-songwriter; member of Mud City Ramblers), Bee's Knees, 7 p.m. NC. AA.

PAUL DOUSE/MARK ABAIR/PHOTON PHIL (acoustic trio), Sami's Harmony

HIP-HOP DJS, The Monkey House, 8 p.m. NC.

OPEN MIKE, Geno's Karaoke Club, from 8 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

Pub, 7 p.m. NC.

GHISLAINE (piano), Chow! Bella, 6:30 p.m. NC.

ACOUSTIC OPEN MIKE W/THE HARDLUCK KID, Kacey's, 8:30 p.m. NC.

c h a m p la in

v a lle y

LADIES' NIGHT, City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. MONSTER HITS KARAOKE, Otter Creek Tavern, 9 p.m. NC.

:: central OPEN MIKE, Purple Moon Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

:: c e n t r a l EKIS (rock), Charlie 0's, 9:30 p.m. NC. ROB WILLIAMS (singer-songwriter),

W E D .1 1 :: b u r i i n g t o n

a re a

IRISH SESSIONS, Radio Bean, 8 p.m. NC.

PINE ST. JAZZ ENSEMBLE, Parima, 7 p.m. NC.

TOP HAT KARAOKE, 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. NC.

SONNY & PERLEY (international

MODERN MOUNTAIN M U SIC : : Bluegrass one of the hottest local albums of '03, the energetic and inspired

Gospel Project

On Our Way H o m e.

dropped

With a sound that mixes blue-

cabaret), Leunig's, 7 p.m. NC. LAST NIGHT'S JOY (Irish)) Ri Ra Irish Pub, 7 p.m. NC. JAMES HARVEY QUARTET (jazz). Red Square, 10 p.m. NC.

Purple Moon Pub, 7 p.m. NC.

OPEN MIKE (hosted by Uncle Buzz), Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. NC.

:: n o r t h e r n OPEN MIKE W/BILL & CODY, Monopole, 9 p.m. NC.

OPEN MIKE, Riverview Cafe, 5 p.m. NC.

:: s o u t h e r n BIG WU (funk), Pickle Barrel, 10 p.m.

$8-10.

WHATEVERLY BROS. W/ROY FELDMAN

grass, gospel, traditional Appalachian twang and delicious harmonies, the group plays music that is at once aching ly familiar and entirely new. This Saturday, the band settles in at Burlington's First Congregational Church to per form a benefit concert for Volunteer Vermont.

(country duets), 1/2, 8 p.m. NC.

MANIFEST NEXTO ME, ORBIX REX (live hip-hop/acid jazz; groove), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. $3. LIQUID DEAD (jam, Grateful Dead trib ute), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC.

T D A P IT C in T ? 1

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SEVENDAYS I february 04-11, 2004 I m usic 45A

r e v ie w th is JEREMY HARPLE, JE R E M Y H A R PLE (Self-released, CD) The 11 tracks on Jeremy Harple's eponymous CD offer just a small sample of his work; according to the liner notes, the Cambridge, Vermont, singer-songwriter has written more than 200 songs over the past 10 years. Recorded recently at Green Mountain Studios, these originals contain a wealth of interest ing lyrics about love and life, wicked acoustic guitar playing, lots of unself-conscious vocalizing and some fine, bluesy harmonica work. All this good music meshes together seamlessly. One of the best things about Harple's music is the already developed "Harple sound" — listen to this disc and you'll hear practically nothing that sounds like someone else. "Stand Your Ground" is a standout track here, full of everything there is to like about Harple's music: a catchy refrain, incessant rhythm, quirky timing. This guy has the chops — see for yourself at his gig this Thursday at Radio Bean, with Blackthorne Wilderness.

EVOLOCITY, HELICOIL (Badluckbus Productions) With Evolocity's new CD, H e lic o il, three former local rockers — Aaron Ingham on vocals and gui tar, Shawn Baker on lead guitar and Patrick Gillespie on drums — demonstrate that shaking things up a bit can be the right thing to dp. Ingham has certainly come a long way from his mid-'90s stint fronting area rock band Spill, which released a couple of albums locally before these three members packed up and headed to Arizona. The move seems to have paid off: The new incarnation is doing quite well after adding a cou ple of members to the lineup. Ingham and co. have managed to pick up a talented bassist (Ryan Anderson) and a wild-card multi-instrumentalist (Efrain Gonzalez). Together they've been working the Arizona scene as Evolocity — a heavy-duty, hard-working band on a mission to make some music history. So far they've won best new band in that state in 2001 and were nominated for Arizona's "Best Kept Secret" in 2002. First, a description to get you up to, urn, speed. Evolocity play contemporary hard rock with nods to the grunge era a la Alice in Chains. It's polished, heavy desert rock that feels dusty and sweaty and sounds as clean and precise as modern chart-toppers such as Linkin Park. Gonzalez plays keyboard, guitar, turntables and saxophone with equal aplomb. I particularly enjoyed the sax-heavy "Duh Wayne," which manages to rock and groove and sound a little bit like Morphine. Though my tastes don't run to heavy rock, these guys play it like they mean it; the sound is big and even somewhat elegant. They take as much care creating sub tle, mood-manipulating backgrounds as they do clobbering you with that guitar/bass/drums assault. Ingram is singing with increased power and confidence, even allowing an angst-ridden erpo.-^ tionality to color his vocal attack. That gives the whole recording ! depth which was sometimes lacking in his earlier work. Now that Evolocity is up and running, we can only play the wait-andsee game until this band makes its next move. Rock fans, this one's for you. The look, sound and attitude, if a little disturbed, are working for Evolocity, and they seem hell-bent on making folks take notice. I'm giving them bonus points for the Mr. Bungle tee on the back cover. Give this one a try if you like the heavy stuff.

ROBERT RESNIK

THE WORLD-FAMOUS HANGLOWS, A B L O O D Y N O S E F O R TH E E S T A B L IS H M E N T (Self-released, CD) Hard-rockers The Hanglows describe themselves as "a drinking band and a thinking band." Within seconds of the opener, "Let's Go Get Drunk," you know they've got the boozing part down. Verses describe getting plastered, getting high, getting laid and playing tunes. Aside from the "thinking" part, that just about sums up this Stowe-area band. The Hanglows make snotty, riff-heavy rock that is all about fun. Songs like "Texas Jailbreak" and "You Made Me Come" sug gest these vfiudes don't themselves too seriously. The Clash-like bass riffs of "Unkind" anchor lyrics that name-check Rasputin and offer a glimpse into the cerebral side of the band. "Sharkmonkey" is a stream-of-consciousness rant with lines about doing dope pitted against the refrain, "I hate school/but I love to learn." This is a totally ridiculous album, lacking in originality but a giddily fun, rousing lis ten. Here's to smart-boy cock-rock.

COLIN CLARY

ETHAN COVEY

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SEVENDAYS I february 04-11, 2004 I a r t 47A

EXH IBITIO NS

art review

:: A R T

REVIEW

:: S P O T L I G H T S

BY MARC A1

ed in exhibiting work in the Burlington restaurant. Info, 862-9647. The Women's Rape Crisis Center in Burlington seeks art by victims, or created in their honor, for the upcom ing "Heroism" show. Deadline March 12. Info, 864-0555. The Basin Harbor Club in Vergennes seeks Vermont artists to exhibit work in the "Reflections on Basin Harbor" juried art show. Deadline March 1. Info, 475-2311.

All Dressed Up

OPENINGS JAMES JACK: "Ink Experiments," butter

ur bile leaks out and poisons us along with our intended victims,” reads one of Janet Van Fleet’s recent paintings, but the work bearing that text seems 0 to be otherwise angst-free. “Bile” is one of the pieces in her current show, entitled “The Red Dress and Other EXHIBIT Dancers,” at the Flynn Centers Amy "The Red Dress E. Tarrant Gallery in Burlington. and Other There’s a consistently charming quality Dancers," to Van Fleet’s paintings and sculptures, paintings by even when her subject matter inches Janet Van Fleet. cautiously toward darkness. Amy E. Tarrant As the title of the show suggests, a Gallery, Flynn red-dress image recurs in the paintings Center, — in large, vertical works it’s a long Burlington. dress with a high waistline. In smaller Through images, stick figures wear triangular February 28. dress shapes. In “Bile” the large figure is centered and surrounded by a field A R T W O R K of decorative dots. The text is painted "Georgia," by into the dress. Janet Van Fleet Van Fleet uses earthy hues in all her paintings: red oxide, sienna and other P H O T O browns rather than fiery reds. Blue and Marc Awodey green are absent from this show, fur ther emphasizing the earth tones. Van Fleet’s work is not emotionally over charged; the text in “Bile” seems a cau tionary note and not an indication of vitriol. The title of the painting “Fraying at the Edges” is also used as a repetitious phrase within its reddish-browngarbed figure. The phrase is obfuscated within the dress, which seems to be dissolving into textured, cooler shades of brown in the negative space. The effect is eerily like looking into a grave. “Backbone” has a cruciform dress at its central, vertical axis surrounded by yv* golden yellow; there is no text. Van Fleet built an impasto spine into the ' figure, which has a more spiritual pres ence — a resurrection rather than a burial. The enigmatic painting “Georgia” has a red silhouette, like a Keith Flaring figure, wearing a red dress. The figure resides in a flat gray field deco rated with white dots. Red threads have been superimposed over the fig ure into a grid of six squares by five squares. This measures the figure and space, just as a string grid would at an

archaeological site. O n the other hand, it might indicate a fence. The dots are unevenly spaced, like falling snow flakes. Van Fleet’s work sometimes defies literal interpretation, but it remains intriguing by virtue of her graphic formalism and technical skill. “Falling Coppers” is exquisite for those reasons. It’s a vertical piece, with five tall, thin dresses layered over each

ures in the air and the figures on the ground are clearly interrelated. Eight small mixed-media sculptures also appear in the show, m ounted on shelves. Van Fleet uses weathered found objects such as nails, wood, bone and bricks. Many o f her pieces are figurative, but the most abstract are the most interesting. “For Maxine” is a simple figure with long wire legs

Van Fleet's work sometimes defies literal interpretation, but it remains intriguing by virtue of her graphic formalism and technical skill. other and about 35 small figures rain ing down on the large ones. Van Fleet uses a wide range of reds as well as copper metallic paint in the back ground. Contrasting rhythms are set up between the larger and smaller fig ures. « Twenty-one “Falling People” tumble in the gallery’s front window space. The stuffed, red cloth figures are about a foot long and look like cartoons yanked into 3D. Each is hung in a dif ferent stage o f falling — not rising or hovering — and five metal pieces on the windowsill beneath outline the form o f the figures. The latter are col lectively entitled “Metamorphosis” and constitute a separate work from “Falling People.” But the two groups are stronger together than either one is alone. As in much mythology, the fig

and a metal ring for a head; it has some of the weightlessness of a Giacometti. “Bowl of Nail Dancers” is a wide bowl filled with wooden cylin drical forms that in turn contain long nails. It is essentially a collection of circles, angles and cylinders o f varied weights. The piece is strong, even if the reference to “dancers” in the title seems irrelevant. Van Fleet s art is often illustrative, representing concrete ideas in visual terms, rather than wholly abstract. Sometimes she adds text to the work, or explains what is being illustrated in the title. Perhaps that’s understandable in an era dominated by accessible figu rative work and exhibits that require elaborate artist statements. Neverthe less, her work is good enough to be inexplicable. (Z)

nut ink paintings on paper. Mill Gallery, Vermont Studio Center, Johnson, 635-2727. Reception February 5, 7 p.m. CLAIRE DACEY & DAN WELLS: "A Sense of Place," drawings, watercolors and photographs of Vermont landscapes. Starry Night Cafe, Ferrisburgh, 8658071. Reception February 5, 8 p.m. DIANE ELLIOTT GAYER: "A Collector's Eye," textiles gathered from journeys. Living/Learning Center Gallery, UVM, Burlington, 656-4200. Reception February 6, 5-7 p.m. NICOLE TARNAY: "Colored Perceptions," o il paintings and mixed-media works. Rose St. Gallery, Burlington, 8887279. Reception February 6, 4-7 p.m. Live music by the Eames Brothers Trio. DIANE GABRIEL: "Prayers & Night mares," photographs, monotypes, etchings and mixed-media works. 2nd Floor, Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 865-7166. Reception February 6, 5:307 p.m.

2004 INVITATIONAL GROUP SHOW: Works in mixed media by 14 Vermont artists. The Gallerie@0paline, Burlington, 660-8875. Reception February 6, 5-9 p.m. "FAR OUT": A group exhibit featuring "wild and wacky" art in all media. Studio Place Arts, Barre, 479-7069. Reception February 7, 7:30-9:30 p.m. Live music, silent auction, poetry slam and costume contest. FEBRUARY SOLO EXHIBITIONS: Mixedmedia works by Vermont artists. Southern Vermont Arts Center, Manchester, 362-1405. Reception February 7, 2-4 p.m. KIDS' ART SHOW: Artwork created by local public and private school stu dents K-8. Gallery on the Green, Shelburne Craft School, 985-3648. Reception February 7, 2-4 p.m.

"RETURN OF THE SPRING": Contemporary Chinese art by interna-, tionally known artists Ziyu Guo, Xubai Li, Zou Ming and Yinglei Zhang. Phoenix Gallery, 863-9400. Reception February 7, noon - 7 p.m. Chinese tea and calligraphy demonstration.

OPENINGS »

48A

PLEASE NOTE: Art listings are written by G abrielle Salerno; spotlights written by Marc Awodey. Listings are restricted to exhibits in truly public places; exceptions may be made at the discre tion of the editor. Send listings, including info phone number, to galleries@sevendaysvt.com. Also see art listings at www.sevendaysvt.com.

* 48A I february 04-11, 2004 I SEVENDAYS

< e x h ib itio n s > OPENINGS «

PHOTO: M ARC AW ODEY

47A

KATIE CAPRARA: Acrylic paintings. Speeder & Earl's, Pine St., Burlington, 985-9537. Reception February 8, 11 a.m. - 2 p.m.

"A CELEBRATION OF YOUNG ARTISTS": Paintings, drawings and photographs by Chittenden County high school stu dents. Daily Planet, Burlington, 8629647. Reception February 8, 3-5 p.m. "ARTS OF ASIA": Recent acquisitions from the Nalin, Duke and Pickens Collections. Fleming Museum, UVM, Burlington, 656-0750. Reception February 8, 2 p.m. Live music by sitarist David Pontbriand.

TALKS/ EVENTS "MAKING THEIR MARKS": UVM con temporary art history lecturer Judith Stone offers insights on this exhibit. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 2538358. February 5, 7 p.m. For art workshops and instruction, see "classes" in Section B.

ONGOING : :b u r iin g to n

a re a

"CREATIVE REUSE SHOWCASE": Recycled art works by area high school students. Frog Hollow Gallery, Boutilier's Art Center and ReCycle North, Burlington, 872-8100, ext. 207. Through February 22. AMANDA THOMSON: Oils and acrylics; and LISA O'HARA: Photographs. Radio Bean, Burlington, 578-9181. Through February 14. "ARTS WITHIN": Works in a variety of media by Burlington City Arts employ ees and volunteers. Airport Gallery, Burlington International Airport, 8657166. Through February. PETER LANGROCK: "Canada: Cultural & Literary Greatness/' brilliantly colored landscape paintings inspired by early 20th-century Canadian artists the Group of Seven. McCarthy Arts Center Gallery, St. Michael's College,

Colchester, 654-2536. Through February 20. SEAN PAUL LAMBERT: Colossal Ullages, premier paintings and dynamic draw ings. 3rd Floor Gallery, Community College of Vermont, Burlington, 8654422. Through May 5. ABBY MANOCK: "Bottled Up," new draw ings. 1/2, Burlington, 310-1856. Through February 28. ALEX LEVAC: "Our Country," black-andwhite photographs of Israel and its people. Allen House, UVM, Burlington, 656-1153. Through February. "SPECTACLES TO BEHOLD": An exhibit revealing the stylistic and technical developments in eyeglasses throughout history. Fleming Museum, UVM, Burlington, 656-0750. Through June 27. MYESHA GOSSELIN: New photographs. Red Square, Burlington, 865-0120. Through March 2. MELINDA WHITE: "The Lord is My , Shepherd," sculptures. Cathedral Arts Gallery, Cathedral Church of St. Paul, Burlington, 864-0471. Through February 24. RACHEL TROOPER: New mixed-media works. Penny Cluse Cafe, Burlington, 651-8834. Through February 20. RICK DAVIS: "Antique Tins," a collection of graphically interesting containers from the early 20th century. Main Floor display case, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 865-7211. Through February 29. MICHAEL JEWELL: Abstract paintings; also, JOHN NORTH: Photographs; and AXEL ST0HLBERG: Abstract paint ings. Artpath Gallery, Burlington, 5632273. Through March. PETE R-SMITH: "Door-Screen Sculptures,"sculptures and new multimedia works. Cafe Piccolo, Burlington, 862-5515. Through February 13. JANET VAN FLEET: "The Red Dress and Other Dancers," paintings and threedimensional works connected to Sara Pearson/Patrik Widrig and Company's upcoming production, The Return of Lot's Wife. Amy E. Tarrant Gallery, Flynn Center, Burlington, 652-4500. Through February 28.

cutting edge color design cuts retexturizing

: :

SUSAN OSMOND: A rotating show of oils on linen, paper and board. Grannis Gallery, Burlington, 660-2032. Through March. .. MASHA STERN: Selected works. Wine Works, Burlington, 951-9463. Through March 1. MIA PHAIR: "Layers," paintings and prints. Speeder & Earl's, Pine St., Burlington, 233-1684. Through early February. "HEALING LEGACIES": Paintings, sculp tures, photography, fiber art and w rit ings by women who have battled breast cancer. Gallery on the Green, Shelburne Craft School, 863-3507. Through February 5. MAX SCHUMANN: Funny, poignant and political realist paintings on card board. Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 865-7166. Through February 8. SUSAN RUSSELL: Abstract acrylics. Smokejacks, Burlington, 229-1239. Through February. ROY NEWTON: "The Last Hay Bale," handmade prints. Red Onion Cafe, Burlington, 865-2563. Through February 17. LYNN RUPE: "Field Trip," acrylic paint ings on canvas. Burlington Interna tional Airport Public Art Space, Burlington, 865-7166. Through March. WEST TOWER EXHIBIT: A group show featuring fabric works, photographs, holographic gratings, steel sculptures and sound art. ECHO, Burlington, 8641848. Through summer. AYN BALDWIN RIEHLE: Watercolors. Limited Edition Woodworks, Burlington, 864-5209. Through April.

::c h a m p !a in

v a lle y

"ALWAYS IN SEASON': An exhibit show casing arts and crafts by Vermont folk artists, past and present. Vermont Folklife Center, Middlebury, 388-4964. Through November 13.

"EVERY PICTURE TELLS A STORY": Paintings by Carmen Lomas Garza and William H. Johnson that depict family traditions, Indian miniatures that illus trate scenes from epic adventures and story quilts by Faith Ringgold, through

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April 18; also, "ART NOW": Contem porary images of fictive reality, through May 1; and "FEAST THE EYE, FOOL THE EYE": The Oscar and Maria Salzer Collection, featuring some of the finest s till life and trompe t'oeil paintings in the country, through March 28, College Museum of Art; and "INTAGLIO PRINTS": Etchings explor ing technical and conceptual aspects of contemporary printmaking, made by Middlebury College students, Atrium, Johnson Memorial Building, through February 13; and ANDREA COHEN: Abstract sculptures and installations made from common materials, Johnson Memorial Building, through March 6. Middlebury College, 443-6433. ROYCE DENDLER: "Antarxia," works in plastics. Sawmill Gallery, Monkton, 453-6975. Ongoing.

subject matter isn't exactly Grandma Moses fare — her weird and original mixed-media works are more like edgy, 21st-century folk art. The quaint frolic "Bloodlines," pictured here, portrays hightension power lines planted in a dusky landscape of reds and browns. Many of Trooper's works, presently exhibited at Penny Cluse Cafe in Burlington, have similarly folksy, razor-sharp lines and obsessive passages of patterning.

"VERMONTERS IN THE CIVIL WAR": A collection of artifacts, letters, pho tographs and documents belonging to Vermonters during the American Civil War. Flenry Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 388-2117. Ongoing. ROD MACIVER: Wilderness-themed watercolors and gifts. Fleron Dance Gallery, Middlebury, 388-4875. Ongoing.

::c e n tra l MICHAEL T. 3ERMYN: "In Search of Ancient Light," photographic images inspired by British painter J.M. Turner. Capitol Grounds, Montpelier, 223-7800. Through February. CAROLINE SAGANICH: "Animals and Abstracts," paintings. The Shoe Horn, Montpelier, 229-9409.’Through February.

JAMES F. WOGLOM & JENNIFER BROWN: "The Lotus Connection," oil paintings and photographs, respective ly. Eclipse Theater, Waitsfield, 4967787. Through February.

WILLIAMSTOWN MIDDLE/HIGH SCHOOL EXHIBIT: a show featuring mixed-media works by students, 2nd Floor Gallery; and DAN MORAN: "From a Dark Abyss," drawings, 3rd Floor Gallery. Studio Place Arts, Barre, 4797069. Through February 28.

"THE TRUE STORY BEHIND THE WIZ ARD OF OZ": A re-telling of the classic tale in watercolor and collage by Orange Center School 7th-graders; and "MONTPELIER ARTISTS": A group exhibit featuring paintings and photo graphs. The Book Garden, Montpelier, 223-2824. Through March 2. ANDREW KLINE: "Geometry of Light," black-and-white photographs. Supreme Court Building, Montpelier, 828-4784. Through February. GROUP EXHIBIT: Diverse works by 13 members of the Two Rivers Pnntmaking ■ h Studio. Spotlight Gallery, Vermont Arts Council offices, Montpelier, 828-5422. Through February.

FEATURED ARTISTS EXHIBITION: Works by Kerry 0. Furlani, Sandy Raynor, John Whitney and Charles Woodard. Gallery for Young Artists, Christ the King School, Rutland, 775-0356. Through February 15. CARLEEN ZIMBALATTI: Floral digital prints, Salaam Boutique, Montpelier, 223-4300. Ongoing. KENNETH P. OCHAB: Landscape oil paintings, as well as works by other Vermont artists. Goldleaf Gallery, Waitsfield, 279-3824. Ongoing.

::n o rth e rn

SUSAN CALZA: "No Conclusions," sculp ture and video. Julian Scott Memorial Gallery, Johnson State College, 6351310. Through February 7. "MAKING THEIR MARKS": The materials and marks of contemporary artists Kelly Mark, Vik Muniz, Elizabeth Neel and Bill Wheelock; and DELIA ROBIN SON: "A View from the Laundry Pile," an installation. Helen Day Art Center,

"QUILTING: STITCHING THE PAST, PRESENT & FUTURE": A collection of 20 memorial quilts, special occasion quilts and multi-generational quilts and their stories, through July 27; and ELSA BORRERO: "Earth Dances 2002," evocative large-format photographs, February 7 - March 7. Chandler Gallery, Randolph, 728-3232.

Stowe, 253-8358. Through March 27.

CHRIS CURTIS & TARI SWENSON: "Gratitude," sculptures and paintings, and calligraphy, respectively. The Wesi Branch Gallery & Sculpture Park, Mountain Road, Stowe, 253-8943. Ongoing. LORRAINE MANLEY: "Funky Chairs," abstract oil paintings. Rise and Shine Bakery & Cafe, Milton, 893-7860. Ongoing. THE ART GALLERY: A group exhibit fea turing original oils, watercolors, sculp ture and giclee prints. The Art Gallery, Stowe, 253-6007. Ongoing.

^ so u th e rn

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PETER MAX: "Max on Music," featuring a number of the artist's portraits of rock greats, Grammy works and other musicrelated pieces. The Art of Peter Max — Colors of a Better World, Manchester Village, 366-8181. Ongoing.

:'.regional STILL LIFE JURIED ART SHOW: A group show featuring paintings and photo graphs of inanimate objects in an indoor setting. Lake Placid Center for the Arts, N.Y., 518-523-2512. Through February 13.

"TANAGRA: A SMALL WORLD IN CLAY": More than 200 statues, pottery and paintings illustrating the history of the Tanagra terra-cotta figurines of the 3rd and 2nd centuries B.C., Michal & Renata Hornstein Pavilion, Through May 23. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, 514-285-2000.

LATERAL THINKING: ART OF THE 1990S": An exhibition featuring works by 40 contemporary artists from around the world. Hood Museum of Art & Jaffe-Friede and Strauss Galleries, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 603-646-2808. Through March 14. ®

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SEVENDAYS I february 04-11, 2004 I film 51A

FI LM C L I P S

:: S H O W T I M E S

film

:: FI L M R E V I E W :: FI L M Q U I Z :: F L I C K C H I C K

< film c lip s > PREVIEWS BARBERSHOP 2: BACK IN BUSINESS:

Ice

Cube and Cedric the Entertainer team up fo r th is sequel to th e surprise 2002 h it. This tim e around, th e shop is threatened by a greedy corporation w ith plans to move in and "re g e n trify " th e neighborhood. Queen Latifah costars. Kevin Rodney Sullivan directs. (106 m in, PG-13)

THE BIG ANIMAL

From Polish d irector Jerzy

Stuhr comes th is b itte rsw e e t fable about w h at happens when a circus cam el is le ft behind in a rural village and adopted by a middle-aged couple. Based on a scrip t by th e la te Kryzstof Kieslowski. (103 m in, NR)

CATCH THAT KID:

Bart ( The Myth o f

Fingerprints) Freundlich trie s his hand at kiddy comedy w ith th is adventure abo ut thre e young friends who rob a bank in order to g e t fin a n c ia l help fo r an a ilin g father. Kristen Stewart, Corbin Bleu and Max T h ie rio t star. (92 m in, PG)

ISLAND OF THE BLUE DOLPHINS:

Based on

th e novel by S cott O'Dell and inspired by actual events, th is 1964 film te lls th e in s p i ra tio n a l story o f a young g irl who's acciden ta lly le ft behind on her trib e 's island home and has to learn to make weapons and hun t in order to survive. (93 m in, NR)

MIRACLE:

Kurt Russell stars in th e tru e story

o f Herb Brooks, who coached th e U.S. men's hockfey team to an upset v ic to ry over the Soviets in th e 1980 Olympics. Patricia Clarkson costars,, Gavin O'Connor directs. (136 m in, PG)

SHORTS ALONG CAME POLLY**

Ben S tille r stars in

th e new comedy from w rite r-d ire c to r John (Meet the Parents) Hamburg, th e story o f a nervous Nelly who has to prove he is n 't afraid to take a few risks in order to win the respect o f the woman he loves. W ith Je n n ife r Aniston and Philip Seymour Hoffm an. (90 m in, PG-13)

THE BIG BOUNCE**

Owen W ilson stars in

th e la te s t from d ire cto r George (Grosse Pointe Blank) Arm itage, th e story o f a d rifte r who cooks up a scheme to sw indle a Hawaiian businessman and his cohorts o u t o f a fortune. Based on th e novel by Elmore Leonard. W ith Morgan Freeman, Gary Sinise and Charlie Sheen. (89 m in, PG-13)

BIG F IS H * * * *

Tim Burton's la te st may be

his best film ye t. Ewan McGregor and A lbert Finney give faultless performances in th is im ag in a tive and m oving ada ptatio n o f D aniel Wallace's novel about a son try in g to

Imore Leonard had just started writing qtime novels when he turned out The Big Bounce back in the late ’60s. So he has an excuse. Virtually evety&rfe else connected to this sec ond big-screen version of the book (the .first, starring Ryan 'O ’Neal, was released in 1969) is an old hand at his craft. ‘^Hfet^im & es the movie’s pervasive amateurishness as diffi B IG cult to explain as it is to endure. If it had nothing going for it but the direction of George M IS T A K E Freeman and Armitage, the picture would have qualified as one of the Wilson can add late winter’s most promising. With 1990’s Miami Blues and a flop to their ’97’s Grosse Pointe Blank, the filmmaker established himself resumes as a master of the darkly offbeat crime story. And what were thanks to their the chances of Morgan Freeman, Willie Nelson and Harry participation Dean Stanton ending up in front of a camera together with in Armitage's nothing memorable emerging from the grizzled conver- . dismal gence? If The Big Bounce is interesting in any respect, it’s A adaptation. only for the odds it defied in winding up so dull. Owen Wilson is in stony-surfer-dude mode once again in the central role. He plays a small-time crook that’s just been fired by a wealthy developer (Gary Sinise), who is building a sprawling new resort on Hawaii’s North Shore. Freeman costars as a district judge who dresses like Jimmy Buffett and owns a string of funky, beachfront bungalows. From the beginning, the audience is let in on the secret that Freeman is up to something and has decided to make the breezy drifter a pawn in his plan. The beach boy, in fact, turns out to be one of the few people on the island in the dark about the judge’s motives when Freeman hires him on as a groundskeeper-maintenance guy and a blonde floozy

immediately enters his life. Former model Sara Foster turns in an over-the-top per formance as a thrill-seeking seductress who hooks up with Wilson despite the fact that she’s Sinise’s mistress. She talks Wilson into showing her how to steal a car and break into a home — his specialty. The crime spree is treated like the harmless pranks of two free spirits. Armitage intercuts generic, Endless Summer-style footage of blue skies, big waves and tanned surfers in between the couple’s hijinks as part of an apparent effort to give the film a freewheeling ’60s feel. The picture’s title art and music are clearly intend ed to contribute to the effect. The experiment fails, though, primarily due to the film’s complete lack of spark or energy. O r bounce, for that mat ter. Wilson is a likable enough presence and appears to toss off the picture’s few funny lines, but the movie machinery is plodding, creaky and, worst of all, predictable. Even the groggiest viewer will catch on to its driving gimmick: Any character who doesn’t seem to be part of Freeman’s scheme is guaranteed to be revealed as such by the middle of the final act. The plot twisting is so overdone, it’s more silly than surprising. As is The Big Bounce. By the way, good luck making sense out of the final 15 minutes. I’d say people were asleep at the wheel on this one, but the film is so all over the place that I’m not sure there even was a point. Will Sinise get swindled by Wilson? Will Wilson get swindled by Freeman? Will Freeman get swindled by Foster? Does it really matter, when the audience gets swindled by them all? (7)

get to th e botto m o f his dying father's la rg e r-th a n -life life story. Jessica Lange and Danny DeVito costar. (110 m in, PG-13)

BROTHER BEAR**,/? Joaquin

Phoenix and

Rick Moranis are among th e voices cast in Disney's la te st anim ated anim al ta le — th is one a bo ut a Native-Am erican boy who learns tolerance and compassion when th e Great S p irit transform s him in to a bear. (85 m in, G)

BUBBA HO T E P***

Don Coscarelli directs

th is horror-com edy combo w hich pivots around a supernatural fa c e -o ff between an e v il mummy and th e dynamic duo o f JFK and Elvis — who, i t tu rn s o u t, have been laying low a ll these years in a Texas nursing home. Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis star. (92 m in, R)

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT*12 Having

wisely

given up on rom antic comedy, Ashton (My Boss's Daughter, Just Married) Kutcher trie s his hand a t horror in th is supernatural saga concerning a tro u b le d young man who d is covers he can tra v e l back in tim e via his childho od jo urn als. W ith Amy Sm art and Eric S to ltz. (130 m in, R)

SHORTS »

53A

RATINGS ★ =» refund, please ★ ★ = could've been worse, but not a lot ★ *★ = has its moments; so-so ★ *★ ★ = smarter than the average bear * * * * * = as good as it gets Ratings assigned to movies not reviewed by Rick Kisonak are courtesy of Metacritic.com, which averages scores given by the country's most widely read reviewers (Rick included).

AC2 o u st ! X7A i'-Y, t 'V j «x 52A I February 04-11, 2004 I SEVENDAYS

flick chick

BY SUSAN GREEN

' S H O R T TA K E S O N T H E R E E L W O R L D

The media has blasted Losique for allowing the Montreal festival to lose its luster over the last decade or so. cial health, management practices and programming choices. One reason for the probe, apparent ly, is last years decision by longtime Montreal director Serge Losique to withdraw from the international feder ation to which most prestigious film festivals belong. He took this reaction after being widely criticized for re scheduling the 2003 Quebec extrava ganza to coincide with its counterpart in Venice. They normally take place sequentially. Losique is a notoriously secretive and thorny individual. In a province that’s officially bilingual, he refuses to use English when answering questions

from local English-speaking reporters at festival press conferences. Queries about his controversial leadership fre quently get no reply at all. The media has blasted Losique for allowing the Montreal festival to lose its luster over the last decade or so. Star power is im portant at these glitzy entertainment gatherings. As time goes by, Montreal draws fewer and fewer big-name directors or perform ers. Movie-mad Americans who regular ly trek north from the Green Mountain State, however, may rejoice that an actress with solid credentials will be honored at the 2004 fest: Isabelle Adjani, whose career extends back to such classics as The Story o f Adele H. (1975) by Francois Truffaut and Roman Polanski’s The Tenant (1976). By the way, anyone with an artistic bent might want to enter the festival’s poster contest. The deadline is February 16 and the prize, in addition to gracing all the promotional materi als, is $3000. More details are available at www.ffm-montreal.org. This year’s festi val takes place from August 2 6 to September 6.

Closer to home, the Red Brick Movie House is a fanciful moniker for the site of a winter film series in Westford. Youngsters can catch lateafternoon matinees on the second Saturday of each month; adults see

BYUoyo DA n Gl E

n o v iiir « W R WE MUST DECIDE How WE’AE GOING TO PL/^V THE WEAPONS] f mASS DESTRUCTION THING IN OUR CAMPAIGN.

WITH A ll RESPECT,, T H A T S T O R y HAS SADDA/n CoVLD HAVE HAD ENOUGH I BEEN t h o r o u g h l y d i s c r e d i t e d B y SARI N NERVE WEAPONS INSPECTOR DAVl DKAV" . _ GAS IN F i v e H a w s ' / PAUL T JOE EVEN CBS IS' m i n u t e s to t a k e B L / X ^ p ’NEI L .J^Ul'LSOAIJ REPORTING 0 u T MANHATTAN %\lT,SlRt

rt o o K , I t ’ s common) knowledge tha t ! WE’ VE HAD A HARD-ON FOR SADDAm SINCE 1996, L E T ’ S ADmiTWE WERE U/ROMG.

grown-up fare in the early evening on the fourth Saturday. It started in January with the 1937 version of Peter Pan and Out o f Africa, a 1985 drama. The venue is a 182-year-old Baptist church, called the Brick Meeting House, which townspeople have been restoring as a community center. “We project the movies on a section of the wall where there are no cracks in the plaster,” explains Amron Skowronski, director of the Westford Public Library. Wee ones curl up in sleeping bags on the floor. Older folks can sit in the vintage, folding, wood-and-cast-iron opera seats. “We have an old-school kind of popcorn maker,” Skowronski says. The treat sells for 50 cents a bag. Admission is free. The selections are on loan from a source that must remain anonymous for contractual reasons. Most of what’s screening will be 16mm, unless video or DVD formats are in better shape. The project is the brainstorm of town planner Alex Weinhagen, who handles the technical details, and his wife Allison. c:, Although the specific schedule has yet to be determined, in February Skowronski plans to show King Kong — the 1933 original, not the 1976 epic with Jeff Bridges and Jessica

[T h e p r e s i d e n t COULD 6 0 TEARFUL AT A P R A Y E R .BREAK FAST, « i

HONESTY i s I T ’ S NOT A BAD I DEA , D I C K . BUSH H o t a n opti on ^ T E l li NE, THE TRUTH? I T WOULD BE D e m o c r a t s w o n ' T i PERCEIVED AS J cnow w h a t to d o f l A SIGN OF W fA K N ESS^ I w AHw/ (I

Lange. The release of that remake prompted Newsweek critic Jack Kroll to proclaim: “Even with color, the set tings of Kong II are no match for the rich black-and-white chiaroscuro of Kong /, with its echoes of artists like Gustave Dore and Max Ernst and its sensitivity to the emotional values of tone and texture.” No wonder Peter Jackson, director of the award-winning Lord o f the Rings trilogy, decided to tackle the giant ape’s saga. For this Return of the King, he’s slated to do a summer shoot in New Zealand. Naomi Watts has been cast in the role — pioneered by Fay Wray — of a beautiful woman able to charm the beast. Reportedly, both George Clooney and Robert De Niro are under consideration to play the adventurer who captures Kong on a tropical island. He then brings the creature to the island of Manhattan, where the Empire State Building awaits. Back at the little old Red Brick Movie House, Skowronski muses that the series “gives this town something to do on a weekend.” Publicity is lowkey, she comments. “It’s done Westford-style.” Call 878-5639for more informa tion. ®

fickle fannie

BY DAVID D IE F E N D 0 R F

THE PUZZLE

• As you can guess from her name, Fickle Fannie is hard to predict. Her preferences change from one week to the next. This week, as always, the things she likes (shown in CAPITAL letters) all follow a secret rule. Can you figure out what it is? (Note: Fickle Fannie likes words. But each week she likes something different about them — how they're spelled, how they sound, how they look, what they mean or what's inside them.)

When Fannie was 16, she and her friends made ten gallons of DANDELION wine. That same week, they first learned the meaning of the word BENDER. Fannie's new JACKET has pockets for a cell phone, tampons, and a flask. "How many boxcars would it take to store a BILLION Fannies?" she asked. On Halloween, Fannie hosted a soiree she whimsically dubbed the D0NNER Party. On nice summer days, she has her chauffeur pull her around in a RICKSHAW. Fannie dated a quirky STEVEDORE who swore in Pig Latin ("It-shay, Uck-fay").

H Ey , NOBODY’ S SUGGESTI NG WE

ee C©MP<.eTHY Ko/v/esr—

wWAT WE NEED IS A Full INVESTIGATION To ] SEE IF WE WEREj LYING ...

THOSE TRAILERS WERE M08lLE\ GERm LABS, j e o p a r d i z i n g the SECURITY OF A M E R i c A.j DA mm I T /

TNHICH WE NATURALLY Ca n n o t c o o p e r a t e W i th W i t h o u t

The EDSEL in her garage has been gathering dust since the age of Hula-Hoops. / She keeps her binoculars handy to spot BOBOLINKS in her backyard swamp. Fannie's favorite scene in Grease is the one with the FRANKFURTER and the bun.

fey, *

id ft © 1 0 04

iV V

m W W W . T R O U B L E T O W N . COM

E me with your Qs or comments: dd44art@aol.com. Difficulty rating for this puzzle: YOU TELL ME. If you're stuck, see the HINT printed side ways on this page. If you cave, see the ANSWER on page 12a. So much for Fickle Fannie's tastes this week. Next week she'll have a whole new set of likes and dislikes. .

FICKLE FANNIE HINT: Even Nicholas has a "Nick name.'

A ■■

favorite summer destination for Vermont cineastes, the Montreal World Film Festival is currently under going some serious scrutiny. According to the French-language daily newspa per La Presse, the annual event will be the focus of a “critical study” by the hands that feed it: two public organi zations that provide subsidies of almost $1 million Canadian. The report will examine the festivals finan-

SEVENDAYS ,L february 04-11, 2004 I film 53A

< film c lip s > 51A «

SHORTS

CALENDAR GIRLS**-*

LOST IN TRANSLATION****

The new comedy from

Kate

Coppola's new film stars B ill Murray as an

Bosworth and Topher Grace are paired fo r

o f an English ladies' group which decides to

actor in Tokyo to shoot a w hiskey commer

d ire c to r Robert Luketic's rom antic comedy

raise money fo r a local ch a rity by posing

cia l and S carlett Johansson as a young

about a young woman who wins a contest,

nude fo r its annual calendar. The cast

American stranded by her w orkaholic hus

only to fin d herself in a love tria n g le in v o lv

includes Helen Mirren, Ju lie Walters, Linda

band in the same h o te l and te lls th e story

in g Hollywood's m ost e lig ib le bachelor and

Bassett and Geraldine James. (108 m in, PG-

o f th e u nlikely friendship w hich develops

her best frie n d . Also starring Nathan Lane.

<3) CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN**

between them . W ith Giovanni Ribisi. (105

MASTER AND COMMANDER***1'2 Based

the constant chaos th a t characterizes the

Patrick 0'Brian's high-sea adventures series,

lives o f a husband and w ife w ith 12 c h il

the la te s t from Peter (Gallipoli) Weir stars

dren. Tom Welling costars. Shawn Levy

Russell Crowe as a B ritish Navy captain who

directs. (98 m in, PG)

embarks on a life -an d-d eath mission during

COLD MOUNTAIN***1/2 Nicole

MONSTER****

The la te st from w rite r-d ire c

With P hilip Seymour Hoffman and Renee

to r Patty Jenkins (Dead Man Walking) casts

Zellweger. Directed by Anthony M inghella.

Charlize Theron in th e b ru ta l role o f Florida p ro s titu te Aileen Wuornos, who was execut

(155 m in, R)

ed in 2002 fo r the murders o f seven men.

H. Macy and Alec

Baldwin give faultless performances in the

Christina Ricci costars as Wuornos' 18-year-

impressive d ire cto ria l debut from Wayne

old g irlfrie n d . ( I l l m in, R)

MYSTIC RIVER***

Kramer, the story o f a loser and th e casino boss who capitalizes on his bad luck. W ith

o u tin g , C lint Eastwood adapts Dennis

Paul Sorvino and Maria Bello. (103 m in, R)

Lehane's best-selling novel. Sean Penn, Tim

GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING***1'2 2003

Robbins and Kevin Bacon star in the story o f three friends who are connected by tragedy

was a very good year fo r S carlett Johansson. In addition to Lost in Translation, she made

as young boys and then again 25 years

th is remarkable adaptation o f Tracy

later. W ith Laurence Fishburne and Laura

Chevalier's novel abo ut th e taboo bond

Linney. (155 m in, R)

THE PERFECT SCORE*1'2 Brian

between painter Johannes Vermeer and a

(Hardball)

Robbins directs th is drama in w hich high

Colin Firth and Tom W ilkinson costar. Peter

school students concoct a plan to make o ff

Webber directs. (99 m in, R)

w ith the SAT exam because they do n 't

THE HOUSE OF SAND AND FO G ***1'2 Ben

believe a te s t should have the power to

Kingsley is mesmerizing as a form er Iranian

determ ine the type o f adults th e y 'll become.

officer who relocates his fa m ily to the U.S.,

The cast includes Chris Evans, Darius Miles

where he struggles to retain his d ig n ity

and S carlett Johansson. (93 m in, PG-13)

PETER P A N ***

w hile working m e n ia l jo b s. He th in ks he's

Pan may never get old, but

solved his money troubles when an ocean-

we're n o t so sure th e same can be said of

side bungalow comes on the market at a

his story. Jeremy Sumpter and Olivia

bargain price. Jenn ifer Connelly costars as

W illiams are teamed in the big screen's la t est ada ptatio n. P.J. Hogan directs. (105

bles are only beg inning. From firs t-tim e

m in, PG)

Jim Sheridan's sem i-auto

th e new

comedy from h o t-a nd-cold-running w rite r-

biographical account o f an Iris h fam ily's

studies o f th e im m igrant experience ever put

and young women. A t least u n til he meets

on film . And so much more. Starring Paddy

and falls fo r th e m other o f his la te st date.

Considine and Samantha M orton. (103 min,

W ith Diane Keaton, Frances McDormand arid

'•

• Learn info, crucial to good health • Share delicious healthy foods • Extensive Training'Manual • Thursday evening classes • Financial aid available • Conveniently located offl-89

NEW ON DVD/VHS AMERICAN SPLENDOR****1'2 Shari crafted one o f th e year's most talked -ab out movies, a m arvelously im aginative look at

m ii

the life , work and unique worldview o f

classes ta u g n i Dy

Suzanna Gray Bliss, M.A.

Cleveland com ic-book a rtis t Harvey Pekar. Starring Paul G iam atti, Hope Davis and Pekar

CLINICAL HERBALIST/NUTRITIONIST

him self. (101 m in, R)

802-253-2808

THE FIGHTING TEMPTATIONS**’72 Cuba returns home to Georgia and finds he has to lead a sm all-tow n gospel choir in order to claim his in heritance. W ith Beyonce Knowles

Call Rooted Wisdom for schedules and registration info.

and Steve Harvey. (123 m in, PG-13)

LOST IN TRANSLATION****

Sofia

Coppola's new film stars B ill Murray as an

CHAPTER XIV

actor in Tokyo to shoo t a whiskey commer cia l and Scarlett Johansson as a young American stranded by her w orkaholic hus

A most unique Bookstore & Boutique

band in th e same h o te l and te lls th e story between them . W ith G iovanni Ribisi. (105 m in, R)

Reid costars. David Zucker directs. (85 m in, PG-13)

SECONDHAND LIONS**12 Robert

Duval and

M ichael Caine are teamed in director Tim McCanlies' saga about tw o c o lo rfu l, c g jtc h -

21 GRAMS****

ety Texans called upon to raise a yourrg boy

able performances last year, but the more

his epic trilo g y to a close w ith th is much-

remarkable of the two can be found in

heralded th ird in sta llm e n t, in which the

Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu's dazzling experi

forces o f good and e v il face o ff as the fate

ment in space-time origami. Also starring

o f hum ankind — you guessed i t — hangs in

Naomi Watts and Benicio Del Toro. (125 min, R)

U ^ A ^ ic y r A iJ c iA x A o te , S-

th is comedy in which he falls fo r his mean

1 1 Keanu Reeves. (123 m in, PG-13) Sean Penn gave two remark

6 * a

Ashton Kutcher has

been a h o t property fo r some tim e now, so

been s ittin g on the shelf fo r tw o years. Tara

Women Want) Meyers, Jack Nicholson plays a music m ogul whose tastes run to hip-hop

Spring 2004

endar, Section B.

employer's litt le g irl must really reek — it's

search for a fresh sta rt in the wake o f a

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE K IN G ****1'2 Peter Jackson brings

FO U N D ATIO N S OF N U TRITIO N

For more film s a t non-cinem a venues, see cal

d irector Nancy ( The Parent Trap, What

tragedy offers one o f th e m ost a ffectin g

PG-13)

dancers. Starring Omari Grandberry and J enn ifer Freeman. (92 m in, PG-13)

MY BOSS'S DAUGHTER*

SOMETHING'S GOTTA G IVE***1'2 In

is d

o f th e u nlikely friendship which develops

the home's owner and the reason his tro u director Vadim Perelman.. (126 m in, R)

‘W

S ig n

Gooding, Jr. plays a New York ad exec who

Dutch maid employed in his household.

Mile w ith street

Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini have

In his 24th d ire c to ria l

t e

W e ffm ss S h o p a n d S c h o o f

B illy Boyd. (138 m in, PG-13)

Charles Frazier's sweeping Civil War epic.

IN AMERICA****

th e Napoleonic Wars. W ith Paul Bettany and

Kidman and

Jude Law star in the big-screen version of

THE COOLER***1'2 W illiam

f o

(9S m in, PG-13)

YOU GOT SERVED*1'2 8

m in, R)

Steve Martin

and Bonnie Hunt star in th is remake about

WIN A DATE WITH TAD HAMILTON**

Sofia

Nigel Cole offers the Full Monty-esque saga

abandoned by his mother. Haley Joel Osment stars. ( I l l m in, PG)

UNDER THE TUSCAN SU N **12 Diane

Lane

plays a w rite r who moves to Ita ly to recover from her divorce in w rite r-d ire c to r Audrey

the balance. W ith Elijah Wood, Viggo

Wells' adaptation o f the Frances Mayes best

Mortensen, B illy Boyd and th e whole gang.

seller. Costarring Raoul Bova and Sandra Oh.

(210 m in, PG-13)

(113 m in, PG-13) ®

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FACE LIFTS Once again we've selected scenes from four well-known movies and, through the magic of Film Quiz Technology, zapped the famous faces of their stars right out of the picture. Your job, as always, is to identify the four films, anyway, minus their stars

Fine handm ade gifts and crafts... M ade w ith love for those we love.

and with only a single clue-ridden scene apiece to go on.

A R O U N D T H E B E N D FROM BEN & JERRY’S FACTORY RT. IO OW ATERBURY C TR . • M -SA T IO A M -6P M • ( 8 0 2 ) 2 4 4 - 1 1 2 6

LAST WEEK'S ANSWERS INCLUDE: THIRTEEN, CAMP, MADE, TOGETH ER, RADIO, THE RUNDOWN, HONEY, IN AMERICA, SWIMMING POOL, THE MISSING, THE COOLER, ANYTHING ELSE, CRASH, DUMMY, THE POINT, OUT OF TIME

"heatre Guild

AUCTIONS a t th e T ow n H all T h e a tre in Stow e

Saturday.\ February 7th at 1 0 am or Sunday, February 8 th

DEADLINE: Noon on Monday. PRIZES: Dinner and a movie for two. In the event of a tie, winner'chosen by lottery. SEND ENTRIES TO: Movie Quiz, P0 Box 68, Williston, VT 05495. OR EMAIL TO: ultrfnprd@aol.com. Be sure to include your address. Please allow four to six weeks for delivery of prizes.

For more film fun don't forget to watch "Art Patrol" every Thursday, Friday and Saturday on News Channel 5!

imperne

at 1 0 am

please be prompt

M u sic by F rank an k W ildh om -M ^Book an d lyrics by N an K nighton

/A R So-i/os - February 14th & 15th, 10 am - 5 pm I Loy> <5 you, you’re Perfect, JfoiA? Change - June 5th & 6th For full audition details please visit

w w w . sto w e th e a tr e . c o m

or call 8 0 2 -2 5 3 -3 9 6 1

54A 1 february W - l l , 2004' I* SEVENDAYT"^

winter clearance

< s h o w t im e s > All shows daily unless otherwise indicated. Film times may change. Please call theaters to confirm. * = New film. > BIJOU CINEPLEX 1-2-3-4 Rt. 100, Morrisville, 888-3293.

jSJ

3:55, 6:45, 9:15. The Cooler 1:30, 7:05. 21 Grams 1:20, 3:40, 6:40, 9:10. Bubba Ho Tep 4:20, 9:20.

Wednesday 4 - thursday 5

Big Fish 6:40. Win a Date with Tad Hamilton 6:50. Along Came Polly 7. Lost in Translation 6:30.

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MERRILL'S SHOWCASE

M a tin e e s S a t & S u n o n ly . No se c o n d

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fr id a y 6 - th u rsd a y 12

S c h e d u le u n a v a ila b le a t p re ss tim e.

*Barbershop 2 1:30, 3:50, 7, 9:20. *Catch That Kid 1:20, 3:40, 7:20, 9:25. Miracle 12:50, 3:30, 6:40, 9:15. In America 1:10, 4, 7:10, 9:30. Something's Gotta Give 1, 6:50. Along Came Polly 9:10. The Big Bounce 4:10.

friday 6 - thursday 12

M a tin e e s S a t & Su n on ly.

Lord of the Rings: Return of the King 1:30 (Sat & Sun), 5:15 (Sun only), 7 (Wed-Fri). The Butterfly Effect 2 & 4:15 (Sat & Sun), 6:30 (except Sat), 8:45 (Wed-Fri).

THE SAVOY THEATER

THE ECLIPSE THEATER Route 100, Waitsfield, 496-7787 W ednesday 4 - th u rsd a y 5

Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509. Wednesday 4 — thursday 12

C losed M on & Tue.

ESSEX OUTLETS CINEMA Essex Outlet Fair, Rt. 15 & 289, Essex Junction, 879-6543 W ednesday 4 — th u rsd a y 5 Along Came Polly 12:40, 2:45, 5:10, 7:20, 9:45. The Big Bounce 12:35, 2:45, 5:10, 7:30, 9:50. Big Fish 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30. The Butterfly Effect 1, 4, 7, 9:45. Cold Mountain 12:20, 3:20, 6:30, 9:30. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the Kijig 12:30, 4:30, 8:30. The Perfect Score f:10, 4:10, 7:10, 9:40. Win a Date with Tad Hamilton 12:40, 2:50,

The Family Room , a VNA Program

Girl with a Pearl Earring 1:30 (Sat, Sun & Mon, baby-friendly matinee), 5 (Mon-Thu), 6:30 (Fri-Sun), 7:15 (Mon-Thu), 8:40 (Fri-Sun). Island of the Blue Dolphins 11 (Sat only. Children's Film Series). The Big Animal 4 (Sat & Sun only).

SOUTH BURLINGTON 9 Shelburne Rd, S. Burlington, 864-5610.

Wednesday 4 — thursday 5 *V The Perfect Score 12:40, 3:25, 7:15, 9:45. The Big Bounce 12:05, ,2:25, 4:45, 7:10, 9:30. You Got Served 12:30, 3:35, 7:20, 10. Win a Date with Tad Hamilton 12:50, 3:45, 7, 5, 7:10, 9:40. 9:25. The Butterfly Effect 12:30, 3:40, 6:50, 9:55. Mystic River 12:20, fr id a y 6 — th u rsd a y 12 3:20, 6:30, 9:35. Along Came Polly *Barbershop 2 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 9:50. * Catch That Kid 12:40, 2:45, 5, 12:15, 2:30, 4:40, 7:05, 9:50. Big 7:10, 9:20. Along Came Polly 12:40, Fish 12:35, 3:30, 6:40, 9:40. Lord of 2:45, 7:20. The Big Bounce 5, 9:35. the Rings: The Return of the King Big Fish 12:45, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30. The 12, 4, 8. Butterfly Effect 1, 4, 7, 9:45. Lord fr id a y 6 — th u rsd a y 12 of the Rings: The Return of the *Barbershop 2 1:10, 3:50, 7, 9:50. King 12:30, 4:30, 8:30. Miracle *Catch That Kid 12:35, 2:40, 4:45, 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30. The Perfect 7:10, 9:20. Miracle 12:30, 3:30, 6:35, Score 1:10, 4:10, 7:10, 9:40. 9:35. The Perfect Score 1:05, 3:25, 7:15, 9:50. The Big Bounce 12:55. You Got Served 1, 3:45, 6:55, 9:25. ETHAN ALLEN CINEMAS 4 The Butterfly Effect 12:50, 3:40, North Ave, Burlington, 863-6040. 6:45, 9:45. Mystic River 3:20, 6:30, 9:30. Along Came Polly 12:40, 2:45, .W ednesday 4 — th u rsd a y 5 4:50, 7:05, 9:55. Big Fish 12:45, Cheaper by the Dozen 7:10, 9:25. 3:35, 6:40, 9:40. Master and Commander 6:40, 9:20. Lost in Translation 7, 9:30. Calendar STOWE CINEMA 3 PLEX Girls 6:50, 9:15. Mountain Rd, Stowe, 253-4678. fr id a y 6- th u rsd a y 12

Cold Mountain 1:20, 6:25, 9:20. Cheaper by the Dozen 1:30, 3:30, 7:10, 9:25. Master and Commander 1, 3:40, 6:40. Calendar Girls 6:50, 9:15. Lost in Translation 9:30. Peter Pan 1:10, 3:50. Brother Bear 4:15. M a tin e e s S a t & S u n o n ly .

First-time parents. Fathers and children. People with disabilities. People dependent on people. People dependent on love. That's who needs the VNA. Maybe even you.

MERRILL'S ROXY CINEMA College Street, Burlington, 864-3456 W ednesday 4 — th u rsd a y 5 Monster 1 , 3:50, 6:55, 9:25. Girl ' ‘ with a Pearl Earring 1:25, 4:10, 7:15, 9:35. Big Fish 1:15, 3:45, 6:30, 9:30. House of Sand and Fog 1:10, 3:55, 6:45, 9:15. The Cooler 1:30, 7:05. 21 Grams 1:20, 3:40, 6:40, 9:10. Bubba Ho Tep 4:20, 9:20.

W ednesday 4 — th u rsd a y 5 Big Fish 7:30. Along Came Polly 7:30. Cold Mountain 7:30. fr id a y 6 - th u rsd a y 12

Big Fish 2:30 & 4:45 (Sat & Sun), 7 (Fri & Sat), 7:30 (Sun-Thu), 9:15 (Fri & Sat). The Butterfly Effect 2:30 & 4:45 (Sat & Sun), 7 (Fri & Sat), 7:30 (Sun-Thu), 9:15 (Fri & Sat). Monster 2:30 & 4:45 (Sat & Sun), 7 (Fri & Sat), 7:30 (Sun-Thu), 9:15 (Fri & Sat). w Schedules for the following theaters are not available at press .time. CAPITOL SHOWPLACE 93 State Street, Montpelier, 229-0343.

MARQUIS THEATER Main Street, Middlebury, 388-4841.

PARAMOUNT THEATRE 211 North Main Street, Barre, 479-4921.

Paid fo r by friends o f Visiting Nurse Association o f C hittenden & Grand isle Counties 1110 Prim Road, Colchester, V T 05446 • (802)658-1900

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Williston Rd, S. Burlington, 863-4494 ■ -V t/ 1 W ednesday 4 — th u rsd a y 5 t • fr id a y 6 - th u rsd a y 12 1 *Catch That Kid 1:10, 3:25, 7, 9. Big In America 7:10, 9:35. The Big Bounce 7:05, 9:30. Along CameV#77:| Fish 1, 3:40, 6:40, 9. The Butterfly Polly 7:20, 9:20. Win a Date with f Effect 1:20, 3:35, 6:50, 9. The Tad Hamilton 7, 9:25. Something's Cooler 12:50, 3:30, 6:30, 9. Gotta Give 6:50, 9:15.

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- th u rsd a y 12 SUNSET DRIVE IN Monster 1, 3:50, 6:55, 9:25. Girl 155 Porters Point Rd., Colchester, 862-1800 with a Pearl Earring 1:25, 4:10, WELDEN THEATER 7:15, 9:35. Big Fish 1:15, 3:45, 6:30, 104 No. Main St., St. Albans, 527- 7888. 9f-5and and Fog 1:10, . * v.« .. .. ■».*.. . . . t <

f r id a y 6

SEVENDAYS| february t)4 - ll, 2004 t fe a tu re 55A"

M arch 15 Bell Centre Theatre - Montreal Tickets available by calling 1 . 8 0 0 . 3 6 1 . 4 5 9 5 or order online at www.geg.ca.

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02B f february 04-11, 2004 1 SEVENDAYS "v v '’''v r

c o m in g W r itte n fey Pamela Polston, Paula Routly & Ruth Horowitz

S ta tis tic a l a n a ly s is b y Casimir Danielski

lllu s tra tio n s by

n o l

Sue Norton

T H E

S E V E N DAYS

S E X

S U R V E Y

Virginity: I lost it when I was... Last time we asked, none of you claimed to be chaste. But it looks like abstinence is catching on — virgins account for a whop ping 3 percent of our respondents this year. That two of them are 40-year-old men from South Burlington has got us wondering about sprawl and all. More worrisome: These two horny hets may actually be the same guy. Both started masturbating when they were 13 and would like to get it on with Shania Twain. But the one who calls his member “twig and berries” checked “intercourse” as his preferred activity. The other — a.k.a. “Mr. D ” — opted for “anal sex.” We suggest they either get together, get it together, or check out the answers to: “I have the best luck meeting people...” O f course, there is no one ideal age for sexual initiation. About the same number of people “lose it” between 17 and 20 as at sweet 16 and under. We found an alarming number of ’tween lovers, but more disturbing was a 56-year-old gay man who was deflowered when he was 6. From the looks of his survey — he claims not to have been molested — it was consensual. And he currently has the hots for Howard Dean. At least someone does...

How do you plan to keep your sex life inter esting after marriage (singles)... How do you keep your sex life interesting (married)... Interestingly, single people are more likely to answer this question than married ones, and their earnest ideas trend toward the theoreti cal: “communication,” “fantasy,” “listening to him,” “spontaneity” and “going deeper.” Specifics from singles were few and far between — excepting, of course, “install stripper pole in bedroom.” One cynical gay man — a 23-year-old Viagra user — plans to keep things lively by “never getting mar ried” (the most typical response on our last survey). That, and imagining sex with Bernie Sanders. When they actually offer advice, couples facing the marital challenge come up with more traditional coping mechanisms — from porn, shaving and sex toys to “lovers on the side.” Here’s a new one: “Moving every six months.” Alone or together?

My lover and I have a monogamous/open relationship... We’re happy to report that 70 percent of our overall sample — just slightly more than last time — are monogamous. Significantly more also have apparently agreed to keep their options open. On the other hand, a b t more of the faithful admit they’d rather be... not. We feel compelled to point out that fewer than 6 percent of monogamous women expressed a need to sleep around in our last survey, while nearly a quarter o f’ them do this time. What’s changed? Damned if we know. But some people had better start working on their bedroom skills. As for you cheatin’ hearts... see below.

74% 86% My lover and I have a monogamous relationship. 17% * 16% My lover and I have an "open" relationship.

My lover and I have an "open" relation ship, b u t my lover doesn't know it. 16% 15% I am n o t monogamous, b u t would like to be. 17% 24% I am monogamous, b u t would rather be sleeping around.

I have cheated on a partner...! did/did not get away with it...

Seven Days survey respondents are:

Gender 46.4% men 52.3% women 1.3% other

Age 15-77 years old 50% under 30 years old 65% 22-44 years old

Sexual orientation 69.6% heterosexual 15.5% homosexual 13.4% bisexual 1.5% other

Status 16% single and satisfied 15% single and unsatisfied 12 % dating 7% ju st starting new relationship 30.7% partnered/m arried and satisfied 14.3% partnered/m arried and unsatisfied 5% breaking up

Political affiliation 13.2% 45.3% 16.4% 25.1%

Republican Democrat Progressive Other

Religion 18.2% A theist 13.8% Protestant 21% Catholic 4.7% Jewish 2% Buddhist 5.6% Pagan 1% Wiccan 1.6% Satanist 33.1% Other

Whistles might be blowing in the corporate world but not, apparently, in the “private” sector. While we’re relieved that readers did not report having more affairs as a result of reading our last survey, ,significantly more women and bisexuals in general do ’fess up to cheating this time around. In fact, if this chart carries any water, the most likely per son to cheat is a bisexual female Democrat. In the other direction, way fewer Repub licans report straying from their own beds, as it were. Must be that strong moral influ ence coming from the White House.

45% 54% have cheated

86%

42% 75%

59.5% 81%

have cheated got away with it

Het

Homo

50% 47% have cheated

79%

72% 78% got away w ith it

84%

Rep. Dem. Prog. Other 51%

50%

80% 73% got away w ith it

71%

SEVENDAYS i/.feb m ary 04-41,< 2004 ,-J,rf e^tuarOS-B

The nicest thing anyone ever said to me during sex was...

My longest/shortest rela tionship lasted... There had to be a story behind the half-hour relationship that came with a comment: “jEighth grade. Give me a break.” Recess, rhaybe? But the prize for shortest relationship goes to our middle-agedj Vatican-loving bisexu al who describes the perfect blow job as “con fessional booth.” How many Hail Marys can you say in 10 minutes? “Until death do us part” presents other chal lenges. Every one of our long-termers — all men — has cheated. Half of them suspect their partners have also strayed, while the other half left that question blank. Talk much? After 30 years, youd think these couples would know everything about each other. Our oldest respondent — a 77-year-old Pagan grandpa — is a little confused after more than 50 years of marriage. He describes himself as “partnered and satisfied” but also a “monoga mous” guy who would “rather be sleeping around.” What turns him on? Filling out sex surveys, for one.

Civil unions... ...have destroyed traditional marriage? Not hardly. More than 94 percent of our respon dents disagreed with that statement. Maybe those few who think the institution is going down the tubes are just looking for a scapegoat?

1have faked an orgasm at least once... Well, the anti-climax is alive and well: A whop ping 82 percent of women have apparently found this ruse necessary from time to time. That s up from our last survey, but men who pretend are holding steady at 37 percent. And we re still wondering, how? Bisexuals report fak ing it way more than the other teams — but then, they presumably have twice the opportu nity. Progressives have taken a surprising lead in this particular little white lie. Keep that in mind at the voting booth.

hatf

I have never an orgasm with a partner.,. Only 4 percent of men and 8 percent of women in our sample have yet to share the big

O with a special someone. This finding can be explained in part, of course, by the 3 percent of virgins in our sample. As for the rest — can’t you at least fake it? Just kidding.

I have better orgasms alone/with a partner... Some people are real do-it-yourselfers — 27 per cent overall prefer to take matters into their own hands. Let this be some consolation to you peo ple who’ve never had an orgasm with a partner at all. Bisexuals beat out the others on this response hands down, so to speak. The fact that twice as many women as men get off better alone suggests that some lovers may need a little tutorial below the belt. But the vast majority still prefers doing it in twos or more, so perhaps sex is pretty much what it’s cracked up to be. Prefer alone

15%

37%

Het

Homo

25.5%

19%

42%

Rep. Dem. Prog. Other 25%

28%

This is one of those comparisons that can make most of us jealous — of the 25 percent of our sample who know how to repeat themselves, in a good way. This is such a huge leap from the measly 6 percent in the last survey, we’re begin ning to wonder about the particularly restive batch of women who answered this one — par ticularly, perhaps, bisexual Progressives? Here’s a closer look:

17%

33%

Het

Homo

20%

22%

56%

Rep. Dem. Prog. Other 25.6 %

22%

31%

People think about sex a lot more than they have it — no surprise there. Thirty percent of our respondents ponders the subject at least once an hour. Ninety-four percent meditates on it once a day. Mind certainly outpaces matter in the cas£ of a 25-year-old bisexual woman who thinks of sex 60 times an hour — that’s once a minute, folks. No slacker in reality, she does it twice a day with a “partner” whom she suspects is cheating on her. Now that’s an action-packed relationship.

I have sex with a partner... The frequency question is one that vexes all lovers. Are we doing it enough? Are we missing something? Is there something wrong.? Most of you should be reassured to learn that 61 percent of our sample has sex at least once a week. That is, except for the 10 percent who are measuring activity by the year. No, you’re not getting enough. But satisfaction is subjective. One woman thinks her twice-weekly sex schedule is grounds for divorce.

27%

I usually/always have multiple orgasms...

I think about sex approximately...

28%

13% once a week 16% twice a week 13% three tim es a week 10 % four tim es a week 9% five tim es a week 3% six tim es a week 1 % every day

Masturbation... What a relief — all but two of our respondents came clean on the subject of masturbation. Everybody seems to do it — the questions are when, where and how often. The majority o f ’ our readers discovered self-stimulation between 10 and 14, but some took longer to get the hang of it. One 42-year-old lesbian didn’t start until two years ago. Coincidentally, it took her a while to realize she was gay, too. One 37-year-old guy from across the lake learned to masturbate “during my first mar riage,” he wrote in the margin. Now, that’s sad. We were amazed by a 43-year-old bi woman from central Vermont who masturbates 15

Talk may be cheap, but the sweetest little nothing whis pered at just the right moment can be, well, explosive. Our respondents' premier piece of pillow talk: "I love you." Anyone surprised? If physical and emo tional intimacy went hand-in glove, or whatever, those three little words uttered during sex wouldn't be such a big deal. Speaking of physical, most memorable murmurings did just that. The generic: "You are so beautiful," "You have an awe some body," "You're so hot." And the artful: "You have the kind of body l want to draw." Others praised the penis: "Nice manhood," "Your cock is amazing," "Wow, it's so big," "Your dick is so caught [sic] and hard," "Your cock is perfect, it really is," "Gentleman cock," "That's fuckin' huge you can't put it in there " And, as report ed by one Catholic Republican, "You fuck me so good, I love /our cock, don't ever stop fuck ing with it." Others feted female parts: "You are so tight," "You have the most amazing pussy," "You have perfect breasts, and they're real" and "I wish you could be inside me so you could see how good you make me feel." Some complimented the act itself: "I already came too many times to count," "You are the best fuck I ever had," "That was the best blow job l ever had," "I don't ' are what your ex says, you're the best lover," "I'd rather let you eat my pm / for an hour than t ake my hush out , credit card to Filene's all day," and the short and simple "That was perfec t A few of you like it rude: "You dirty fucking whore," 'Are you in acliidt H mis 1 md Wrap yoiu shitty legs around me." Some of your words were worth a thousand pictures, like the person who reported, "If you lived closer I'd have a crush on you," or the old a gay man who liked hearing "You're better than my wife." Our favorite: "Thank you."

*****

i-^c.

—

--r-jyi

04B I february 04-11, 2004 I, SEVEHYS

coming together «

03B

What turns you on... Not too many surprises here. Johnny Depp made the list. So did the color of icebergs. Closer to home, "Men in Carhartts" got a flurry of votes. But only one reader speci fied, "hairy men who smell like sweat and chainsaws and soft woods." We thought this was about hard wood. Just lie back and enjoy this...

A 25-YEAR-OLD BISEXUAL WOMAN THINKS OF SEX 6 0 TIMES AN HOUR — THAT’S ONCE A MINUTE, FOLKS.

times a day — always at work. Unfortun ately, we didn’t ask people to divulge their occupations. But in this case, we picture a drive-in bank teller, a telephone operator or a riding instructor. Approximately 48 percent of our respon dents jerk off on the job — under the desk, in the public bathroom, by the water cooler, talk ing on the phone to a client. Men are more hands-on than women — 55 percent versus 40 percent — and bisexuals of both sexes are very self-motivated. Seventy-two percent of them say they have masturbated at work. Where else have people taken “meatings?” The most popular place to pleasure oneself — outside of the bedroom, shower, bathroom and, yes, outhouse — is in the car. While driving. Moreover, people seem to remember their speed, destination and the specific road in vivid detail. Suffice it to say, Interstate 89 is a highway to heaven, although “doing 60 mph in a Nevada desert” is probably a lot safer. People on planes, in pools, at rest areas, on a Polish bus — were all going and com ing, folks. Besides travel, a couple of other themes emerged amongst the handlers: People like to masturbate while they talk on phones — preferably to people to whom they should not be sexually attracted: a sis ters husband, for example, or a kid’s teacher. Voyeurism is part of the picture, too. One woman masturbated on a beach while a guy watched her from a distance. Another got off in a Jacuzzi and is now apologizing for it. “Sorry to those who got in after — I was young,” she laments;

Lots of people were aroused by — you guessed it — watching other people have sex. Gym class and music lessons are also turn-ons. The more quotidian the activity, the sexier, judging from the wankers on washing machines, shopping at the super market and preparing dinner. But there were some dramatic depar tures, too: “New York City,” “Nepal.” Our favorite was “skydiving” — a 3 5-year-old man from South Burlington apparently caught more than air on his way down. But we’ll give the last word to a 62-yearold gay man from New York state — also a hot spot. “I don’t think any place is strange.”

“books.” But given all the pornography choic es, we’d like to know what the 11 percent of women who voted for “other” are referring to. A notable coincidence: This year 6 percent fewer men and 6 percent more women report enjoying porn. And, hey, how about those Republicans! Can you say family values?

82%

53%

Het 63%

Homo

77.5%

77%

Rep. Dem. Prog. Other 62% 74% 65%

80% I have masturbated at work

M 55%

F 40%

Het

Homo

41%

56%

72%

Rep. Dem. Prog. Other

46%

48%

53%

50%

I use pornography... When Chauncey Gardner pronounced in the movie Being There that he “liked to watch,” he wasn’t talking about porn. But our respon dents were — about two-thirds of ’em. Videos and websites ranked highest for every one. More men (48 percent) like magazines than do women (19 percent). The erotic novel, sadly, seems to going the way of the chastity belt — only 15 percent checked

What’s the dirtiest thing you’ve seen on the Internet... The answers to this question made us blush — really. Rest assured there’s no sexual fan tasy so twisted, raunchy or shameful that someone hasn’t staged, photographed and posted it on the Internet. And the detail with which you described the barnyard antics, the excretionary excesses and the women being penetrated by eels, baseball bats, vodka bottles, dogs and geese — well, it made us appreciate those rare G-rated images that inspired chuckles instead of gag reflexes: Peter Freyne’s beard, George Bush’s State of the Union address, the “subject lines of the fucking spam.” We suggest avoiding anything that reads, “Donkey See, Donkey Do.”

kissing biting sense of humor self-assertion intelligence fantasizing dirty talk cleanliness nice body everything nice undies wrestling passion pregnant women girls w /sh o rt hair worshipping me spontaneity perfect skin girls in ties foreign women black women car shift clay, paint, ink grocery shopping hard-on under jeans big boobs lust attitude cum in hair, face and ass good conversa tion sensuality jealousy lingerie garter belts shirtless men two women kissing thongs soccer players blondes getting fingered hot oil cheerleaders the right music soft breasts honesty sex-toy catalogs m arijuana spirited connec tion nibbling role playing big penis watching some one m asturbate wet lips hippie guys w ith dreadlocks flirting poetry

telem ark skiing showers foreplay pain booze older men older women anticipation balls tied up young boys romantic dinners sex smell touching feminine beauty sc ru ff. nice hair nipples being horny dancing arguing cooking aggressiveness th e way he looks on top of me spanking uncut cocks oral sex moaning limp dick hard dick porn’ massage sem i-clothed sex abs sweat warm slipperyness nerdy guys bondage toe sucking spooning hairy men watching guys jerk off whispering being in love knobs girls w ithout bras anal sex threesom e nice feet big b utts glory holes ass grabbing nipple pinching piercings hot, shaved pussy right in my face phone sex this survey

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The sex toy or prop I use most frequently is... When it comes to good sexual vibrations, nothing satisfies more readers than a good of vibrator. Runner up: the dildo, which is basically a vibrator unplugged. It wasn’t exactly what we had in mind, but lots of you gave credit to your own hands. Other examples of Yankee inge nuity: sheets, pillow, blanket or simply “myself.” Body oils and butt plugs hit the spot for several folks, while handcuffs, a leather strap and *r*'paddle, a-collar and leash, and a whip captivate others — whether on the giving or receiving end, we can’t tell. And we’d rather not think about the person who said “hot iron.”

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I am pro-choice/ anti-abortion... The surprising result here is not that 85.7 percent of the respon dents who answered are prochoice — though that’s signifi cantly down from the nearly 97 percent two years ago. No, the weird thing is that 65 percent of our sample left the question blank. Why did generally liberal Seven Days readers not want to weigh in on this once-hot-button topic? We’re clueless. Unless they were still thinking about those sex toys and just didn’t notice the question.

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06B I febraary 04-11, 2004 I SEVENDAYS

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05B

My most memorable sexual experience is...

Pet name for my sexual organ...

Unlike Marcel Proust, our respondents' memories have nothing to do with madeleines. But there sure were a lot of other responses, running the gamut from the rather sweet "My first time" — or "My first time not with a prostitute" — to "trying S&M and bondage for first time... I came like a fucking waterfall." Certain themes did emerge: doing it in nature, doing it in public or risky places, doing it with inappropriate people (boss, best friend's wife, etc.), doing it on drugs. Well keep our comments short, 'cause the list is long. And this is just a sampling...

Never mind those sour heads who poohpoohed this question with such comments as "I'm 32... come on!" "People who name their dicks are lame." "Don't have one; it's creepy and weird." An awful lot of you proudly proclaimed your privates' personal appellation — with nearly as many nick names as respondents. The closest we came to detecting a trend was in these varia tions on a theme: Hoo Hoo, Mr. Hoo Hoo, Hoo Ha and Ho Ho. Politics on your minds, maybe? Other notable names: Bella The Big Guy Candle in the Wind Charlie Chachi Colonel Jackson Coochie Cookie Dink Etna The Farm Thing Freddy The Guv'ner Hairless Wonder Kitty The Little Guy Little J Lola Lucky Chucky Lucy Mr. D Mr. Happy Mr. Willy

Mr. Winston My Bug My Girl My Parts My Peni My Pooch Pedro Pizzle Pretty Pussy Puff Punaninani Queen Cunt Ralph Rodney Sir Squirt Sunset Muffin Sweet William Sweetie Tiny th e Vaginie Tonto Wee Wee Winky

TWO RANDY RURAL TYPES SPECIFIED THE “WOOD PILE.” SPLINTERS? SOUNDS ROUGH. THEN AGAIN, SO DOES THE BATHROOM AT CLUB METRONOME.

I have done the following... We got a lot of flak for this question because one of the options is “sex with a child.” For the record, we were in no way condoning that behavior — which many of you passion ately pointed out is a crime — any more than .we are recommending bestiality or pros titution. Happily, one of the two respondents who checked the box clarified, “I was a child at the time.” Let’s hope the other individual has a comparable explanation. Indeed, it seems like Vermonters are gen erally showing more restraint than last time \ye probed. Virtually every sexual-activity category is down from previous levels, including one-night stands, anal sex, even phone sex. Self-censorship in the bedroom? And Seven Days is bringing pleasure to I I percent more people in ways we never, imagined. Aw, shucks. We added a few

questions this year which may have had some respondents scratching their... “furry?” It’s a stuffed animal thing. Nothing to do with children, we promise. 91% heterosexual sex 33% homosexual sex 91% oral sex 63% anal sex 35% rim job 23% anonymous sex 35% menage a trois 19% group sex 31% bondage 16% SM 3% bestiality . 6% sex w ith a child 53% phone sex 43% engaged in role play during sex 26% videotaped myself and a partner having sex

7% videotaped others having sex 65% one-night stand 35% adultery 63% used sex toys 54% incorporated food products in the sex act 6% had sex w ith a "furry" 9% had sex w ith a prostitute 13%> had sex w ith someone more th an 20 years younger 25% had sex w ith a boss or employee 107o had sex w ith a teacher or student 4% had sex w ith a doctor or patien t 58% m asturbated while driving 16% m asturbated while reading Seven Days 1 1 % peed on a lover 8%> been peed on 1 % changed my gender 3%> worked in th e sex industry

First time with threesome Strip chess with boyfriend Under the Xmas tree In a pew of Baptist church in Virginia Sleeping bag under stars In a taxi Having my partner masturbate using my feet Beach in southern Italy with new German ' boyfriend The night tiramisu from the Trat helped me achieve my first 0 When my dad caught me with then boyfriend Digging my toes into wet earth while coming by a stream Illicit sex with lover while husband is in next room Fucking against a tree in Hubbard Park in Montpelier Sushi sex with photos First time I made a woman come Full moon, Nepal, big mountains Trying it in a hammock On the hood of a car near a field of fireflies Spontaneous in out-of-the-way section of public zoo Giving blow job in alleyway First time not with a prostitute Wedding night Fucking my soon-to-be wife on profes sor's desk in college Was in a pro shop at a country club, used pro's outfit to clean up That Brazilian helicopter girl Getting a blow job in the office from an ex-student Nipple clamps Anal sex in my living room Being brought to orgasm with a candy cane With my Swiss lover, involving handcuffs and ice cubes In a dressing room at a clothing store Sex in movie theater and trying not to make noise when I came Being spanked at Pearl's Realizing that a 'peeping Tom' was * watching the whole time Having sex on LSD many times During ice storm, I had sex outside the dentist's office on the back steps Fucking in a tree At a mountain bike race next to the course Upstairs when my parents were downstairs Group sex with seven strangers in a bathhouse in Montreal Oral sex in the pouring rain on a riverbed after skinnydipping My first female ejaculation orgasm — what the fuck was that? Two women blow me at same time Sex with a member of a famous boy band at the hotel and later at his home On the roof of a school while police patrolled the parking lot Being pushed up against the Mad Hatter after a night at the Waiting Room The entire world disappeared Rose petals in the bed Caressing a lover's butt while he jerked off for me Hubby very drunk and he did oral sex, very unusual

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A woman has needs, and I need YOU Describe the perfect blow job... When it comes to going down, getting is generally better than giving. We heard plenty of predictable whining, like from the gal who answered, "quick, intense, and did I say quick?" And the one who spat out, "as long as he doesn't come in my mouth." And the succinct lesbian who simply said: "Ew." But it would be fallacious to say the outlook on fellatio is all bad. Ninety-one percent of our respon dents report having done it. The good news for guys is how many oral aficionados are on the mouth end of the act. Deep-throat devotees like watching, and feeling, the penis respond to their ministrations, and enjoy turning the excitement up and down. A little moaning also helps, and men are definite ly advised to keep their whistles clean — though we're not willing to swallow comparisons to the tastes of canned mushrooms or jelly beans. One gal loves it when "he grabs my hair and moves my head like a rag doll," while another prefers it "when my head doesn't get pushed down." Ultimately, what's great about giving head is knowing that you're giving great head. As one woman put it, "He thrusts because he can't help it... Wonderful, lovely beautiful. I love this." As far as what men want, our readers didn't hold back. We heard sdfne complaints, like the 57-year-old hetero who claimed he's "still waiting" for the perfect blow job, the one who promised, "When I find a woman without a strong gag reflex I'll let you know," and the sore head who bitched, "I've only had one good one; the others were all teeth." We also heard plenty of helpful suggestions. For anyone interested in studying for their orals, here are 10 sure-fire tips: 1 . Make seductive eye contact. 2. Get the balls involved. 3. -Use your hands, too, and don't neglect the anus. 4. No lingering on the glans; the underside of the shaft is where the pleasure is.

5. Make noise.

6. No teeth. 7. Or, use a little bit of teeth on the top and the head. 8. Keep everything nice and wet. 9. Suction. 10 . Swallow Alternatively, take a cue from the gay male who gushed, "The guy does a lot of sniffing and licking, getting my balls and my crack as well as my dick. He lets me sit on his face and rub my wet dick all over his upper lip. I want him to smell me after! He should be naked, hard and wet, and the whole room should reek of mansex." And remember, as another man put it, "my penis is not tough as nails, neither is it a porcelain doll." Some of you interpreted our wording in a liberal sense, offering cunning advice about the best way to behave in the lap of a lady. A 23-year-old lesbian suggested, "Long slow licks up the middle, then circle on the clit with increasing speed and pressure, then kiss on the lips at the end." A 36-year-old het woman wrote, "Man using tongue like little nervous fish interspersed with long sucks." And a genderqueer 24-year-old described the best blow job as "One done on a silicone dildo with lots of sly, sexy looks." Piercing came up twice — once on the tongue, once on the penis. The person who mentioned the confessional booth neglected to tell us who should be doing whom. Route 2 looks a lot, well, safer now that we know at least one of you likes getting a blow job "while driving down 189." And speaking of highways, the next time we go to Canada, we'll be keeping our eyes out for the gent whose wife revealed: "I love it when my husband comes home in his U.S. Customs uniform and we start kissing. He gently pushes me to my knees and there the fun begins." Talk about homeland security.

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08B

08B I february 04-11, 2004 I SEVEBLYS t3*\ JK**

coming together «

07B

SOME ANSWERS STRAIN CREDULITY, LIKE THE SEVEN BUSY BEES WHO CLAIMED MORE THAN 1OOO LOVERS. IT’S AN ANONYMOUS SURVEY, SO WHY LIE?

I have had sex in... Holy fuck. That was our reaction to the 46year-old bi male who claims to have had sex at the Vatican, Only a Progressive agnostic — who calls his member “Etna” — could get it up where the Pope might See. Hopefully it was divine. By the way, twice as many people have communed in a “house of worship” as have found them selves fornicating with a therapist. We think the couple who wound up in an unused sep tic tank on Pine Street should seek profes sional help. Now, that’s dirty. Other singular sex spots included a div ing board, a submarine and Fort Ticonderoga. The British are coming! Boats definite ly get you going — one Latin lover got it on in a gondola — but in Vermont, the car is king. A hearse will do, too. Good place to get stiff. There are only two erotic arenas more popular than the automobile, and we’re betting they’re seasonal: the hot tub and “the woods.” Two randy rural types specified the “wood pile.” Splinters? Sounds rough. Then again, so does the bathroom at Club Metronome.

Iff I had to choose, I would rather have oral/intercourse/araal/ just kissing... Given a mostly heterosexual population,

you’d expect intercourse to be the dominant choice for lovemaking, and it was. But inserting tab A into slot B is even more popular among bisexuals and, intriguingly, somehow works for nearly a third of homo sexuals. Go figure.

M F H et Homo

Bi Rep Dem Prog Other

O 35% 16.5% 20% 54% 17% 27% 25% 29% 21%

1 56% 78.5% 74% 31% 81% 66% 68% 67% 69%

A i 8% 1% 3.6% 10% 0% 5% 5% 0% 5%

K 0% 4% 2% 4% 2% 0% 2% 0% 4%

So far, I have had sex with... Hoo boy. Some of the answers to this one always strain credulity. Like the seven busy bees — six male, one female — in our sam ple who claimed more than 1000 lovers. It’s an anonymous survey, so why lie? We just wonder when they find the time. A hefty 65 percent report having had carnal knowledge of 20 or fewer partners — the most check marks came in the 5-20 category across gen

der, orientation and political party — and that’s good considering the general nonchalance about “safe” sex — see below.

# Lovers

Zero

1-4 5-20 21-50 51-100 >100 »100 >1000

23%** 35% 16% 8% 5% 3% 4%

F 1% , \ 19.6% < i 47% * 24% 5.5% 2% 1% 1%

I have suffered from... Sex does have its shortcomings — and peo ple may be a little shy about detailing their diseases. After all, too much sharing is what gets them into messes like STDs. It’s much easier to admit embarrassing exhibits of virility, apparently. “Boners in class and work” appear to be the biggest problem for our boys. The good news? They’re easily remedied — just look at the masturbation results. Impotence is also treatable now, right? So how come fully one-third of our respon dents report they’ve suffered from “inability to orgasm?” What’s up, dudes? We forgot to ask about hard-ons that won’t go away.

I always/sometimes/ rarely or never have safe sex... I have told my partner I was “protected” when I W a S n O t... . rrv‘-'a* People, people, people. HIV/AIDS and ; STDs are still very much with us, so why are only 49 percent of you having safe sex all the time? O f course, we realize commit-. ted partners may not have to worry about T throwing on the old rubber — or rubber dam — anymore, and that may account for some of our results. Men in general have improved a bit from the last survey, while women and homosexuals are greater risktakers. Along the same lines, about 9 per cent have told a partner they were “protect ed” against pregnancy and — surprise! — they’re more likely to be women. Wait til the health department hears about this.

Always Som etim es R a re ly /n e v e r

F .

50% 34% 15%

47% 43% 10%

Het Homo Always Som etim es R a re ly /n e v e r

52% 37% 11%

44% 35.5% 20%

Bi 34% 53.6% 12%

What’s your dirty little secret? What scandalizes one person is just a way of life to someone else. Lots of you, for instance, used this space to reveal either homoerotic interests or a taste for anal stimulation. One sly guy prepares for sex with his wife by secretly sneak ing an anal plug into his orifice, while another once waited for his spouse to be out of state before sticking her dildo in his ass. Lots of you felt compelled to confess secret affairs and casual sex — with in-laws, exes, teachers or friends of your parents. No wonder you feel guilty! But we don't think any one should feel bad for thinking about such scenarios. A couple of respondents have gotten head from dogs, using peanut butter as bait — experiments that didn't come

to a good end, apparently. One man admitted spying on his next-door neighbor with binoculars. A couple of you keyed in on hot Internet linkups — either hooking up with sex partners online or getting naughty with a webcam. We heard from one person who enjoys being peed on, and another who simply said, "I like pain." Maybe that reader should get together with the 46-year-old married woman who wrote, "I'm a dom in my private life." The hazards of sex raised their ugly heads in some answers. One person admitted to having herpes, while anoth er confided, "The last married woman I slept with is preg nant and it could be mine." Body issues cropped up occasionally. To the woman who

said she wishes "more lubricant was involved," we recom mend the bottled kind, and to the man who told us, "I have a small dick," we recommend a small lover. This question brought out a couple of instant autobiogra phers, like the woman who wrote, "I once blew five people in a row. They actually lined up. Oh, I miss college." Ditto the 27-year-old male virgin who reflected, "I present myself as very proper, but I am an individual full of lust and a cer tain amount of inhibition." Go for it, guy. Some secrets, of course, were meant to stay secret. That must have been the thinking of the respondent who filled in an answer then scrupulously crossed it out. Maybe next time. > •

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ivortte sexual position is... For the fourth time in a row, "doggy" wins paws down, with "girl on top" coming in a clo; second. Good old missionary came in third. We're a little concerned about the extrovert who answered "public," and hope the person who said "tied up" doesn't get too strung out with that obsession. On the other hand, we're so intrigued by "wheelbarrow," "windmill," "moose style" and "reverse cowgirl" that we can't wait to try them — as soon as we figure out what they are. And to the smartass who wrote, "fiscal conservatism, with whipped cream," all we can say is, "Come again?"

Describe your typical orgasm... Lots of women talked about how long it takes. But 0, when it comes, the sentences you spewed! Rather than reprint your purple prose, we've turned your various answers into this handy kit for describing your own climax, dust mix and match the words from these cate gories and let 'er rip. Verbs: teasing, tenses, curling, reaching, grabbing, tingling, drooling, pumping, scream ing, rushing, blinded, thrusting, yelling, racing, rocks, numbs, pulsing, rushing, crushing, rumbles, rolls, screaming, giggling, lasts and lasts, moan, can't focus, burst, spurts, spew, spray, shakes, shudder, hold. Nouns: vibrator, fantasy, boyfriend, pleasure, wife, breath, penis, vagina, Energizer bunny, toes, warmth, balls, buildup, roller coaster, waves, butter, bliss, pain, throat, semen, release, spasms, spurts, explosion, mess, Martha Stewart, towels, chocolate, afterglow, para dise, smile. Adjectives: wonderful, vaginal, hard, hot, whole, giant, powerful, fast, intense, entire, enormous, mind-blowing, strong, swirly, spiritual, spasmodic, good, glad, gushy, gone. Special effects: Ka-blam-o!, splat!

In g e n e r a l, t h e le n g th o f m y lo v e -m a k in g s e s s i o n s is ... ^ f

How long do I love thee? Let us count the minutes. Most of our respondents do the deed in the time it takes to watch, say, “Sex and the City,” though men and women seem to have a different sense of time. A good 60 percent report their amorous adventures wrap up in a tidy 30 to 60 min utes. Another 24 percent make do with 10 to 20 minutes, and a couple efficiency freaks concede (brag?) the act lasts under a minute. We suspect they might be part of the bunch that frequents the employee bathroom. And, if you must know, Republican heterosexual males report the most quickies. As for the sensual 14 percent who claim to make it last “hours on end,” we’re just wondering: Does that include watching “Sex and the City”? M 1.4% 33% 55% 11%

L e n g th

<1 min 10-20 min 30-60 min hours

0% 19% 64% 16%

W hen I h a v e s e x n e w p a r t n e r , I ...

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Worry about measuring up? You’re not alone. About half the lovers we surveyed fret about their bodies when they’re getting it on with someone for the first time. You can thank Madison Avenue for that six-pack attack. Bad breath is also a biggie, followed by concerns about achieving orgasm. Oral sex anxieties? We tried to determine which aspect was troubling — are you wor ried about a new lover going down or stay ing put? —- but readers missed the subtlety. Blew it completely. We meant Britain, not Britney, when we asked if you “think about England, ” but an alarming number of erotic Anglophiles ’fessed up. One clarified, “Think about Wales.”

ynyny

“Lights out” trumped “lights on” by a two-to-one margin. The extroversion comes later, apparently: After a new encounter^ 15 percent of you “can’t wait to tell your friends.”

M y / m y p a r t n e r ’s c h o i c e o f c o n t r a c e p t i o n is ...

They’ll put a man on Mars before the list of possible prophylactics gets any longer. A diaphragm is a diaphragm is a diaphragm — just like your mother reached for in the dark. But there is one addition since our last survey: the morning-after pill. Although it’s considered “emergency” contraception, approximately 1 percent of our respondents are calling it “birth control.” Condoms and pills are still the preferred methods for avoiding parenthood, followed by “pulling out.” It works... sometimes.

The best thing about sex is...

39% birth-control pills 1.5% m orning-after pill 1.5% patches 42% condoms 3% diaphragm 20% pulling out 1 1 % vasectom y/tube tying 9% none

It was heartening to see "intimacy" topping this list — a sweet response that showed up even more often than last survey's big winner: "orgasm." Suggests our respondents are either kinder and gentler or just exhausted. Whatever the reason, when a lot of you go all the way, the journey appar ently matters as much as the destination. The third most popular response was variations of "physical activity," "exercise" and "heat/sweat." We wonder whether those folks would be just as happy mounting a stationary bike as a sweetheart. Finally, the sheer variety of miscellaneous responses reminded us that sexual attitudes are as idiosyncratic as the individuals expressing them. The answers were simple ("feels good"); altruistic ("satisfying my part ner"); practical ("stress relief"); sociable ("great post-sex conversation," "eye contact"); aesthetic ("sound effects," "taste," "smell"); potty mouthed ("dirty talk"); nature-loving ("being naked"); discriminating ("short women," "big butts"); self-centered ("ego boost," "showing off," "conquest"); and philosophical ("no expectations," "it's all good").

W hen I h a v e s e x I am m o s tly th in k in g a b o u t m y o w n / m y l o v e r ’s p le a s u r e ...

The worst thing about sex is...

Twenty^-seven respondents in our sample left this question blank — understandably, they may not be thinking at all during the sex act. A respectable two-thirds, though, at least claimed they thought more about the needs of their partner than their own. And once again, the guys come out on top, so to speak: Just over half the women manage to concentrate on the S.O., while 85 percent of men say they do. Who’s the best bet for the most considerate lover? A Republican homo-

They don't call sex "dirty" for nothing. Once again, "the wet spot" claims the distinction of being the worst thing about sex. Limping in at a distant second were those who wish they'd gotten as far as the wet — or the G — spot: People who just can't keep it up or reach orgasm, or are just plain disappointed with their lot in bed. "When it ends" and "Not having enough" sound more like backhanded ways of saying how much you like it. Health concerns, such as worrying about getting an STD or pregnant, can take the starch out of some shirts, as can self-image issues. We wish we could give a supportive hug to those of you who cited "low self esteem," "being tired" and "getting old." Query to the reader who com plained about "ugly genitalia": Your partners' or your own?

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Vermont’s hottest... Who needs lipstick? Not Judy Dean. Without a speck of makeup, she easily found her way into the sexual fantasies of a few Seven Days readers. Her husband picked up the most votes — for celebrity sex object, not president. He also did well last time around, as governor, which perhaps explains the more limited lust expressed for Jim Douglas and Brian Dubie. Anyone in power... We're still scratching our heads over Ethan Allen and Samuel de Champlain, though. People singled out business owners, too — Jake Carpenter of Burton Snowboards and Jim Lampman of Champlain Chocolates — for customer satisfaction. They're also on to the workers, including the butcher at City Market and "all the wait staff at Penny Cluse." One reader waxed poetic about a 135 Pearl bartender who's "got an ass that would make even a lesbian sit up and beg." Musicians also scored big — and, by the way, guys, Zola Turn broke up five years ago. The television still turns you on — though small-screen sexual fantasies are mostly a guy thing: Newscasters Sharon Meyer, Sera Congi and Anya Huneke are household names. Roger Garrity rates, but there's no sign of Marselis Parsons. Last time we asked, you were all hot for Rusty "The Logger" DeWees. But his sex "ax" appears to be getting a little dull. While five people gave him the thumbs up, one insisted, "Not Rusty the Logger." Timber? A few more hot celebrities: Kathy O'Brien, Ben Cohen, Lola, Elizabeth Ready, Bernie Sanders, Janice Perry, James Kochalka, Fred Tuttle, Patrick Leahy, Bill Sorrell, Martha Rainville, John O'Brien, Alison Bechdel, John LeClair, Pascal Spengemann, Damon Brink, Trey Anastasio. Oh, and a few of us chickens.

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H o t T Jy Fp e R e m e m b e r in g libidinous literature

ots of readers are like dogs: into sniff ing out the dirty parts. I know I am. I’ve enjoyed plenty o f steamy writing over the years. But a special place in my heart will always belong to the STORY book that gave me my first thrill RUTH between the covers. I was a 14-yearH O R O W IT Z old high school freshman, and it was a purloined paperback edition of The IMAGE Sensuous M an, hidden in a drawer ABBY behind my headboard. The volume M A N O C K was thin on character and plot but a treasure trove o f useful instructions. Including, for example, certain exer cises involving tongues and grapes — guaranteed to make a guy a better bedmate. I was curious about others’ early experiences with written erotica, so I emailed an address-book-fidl of friends, relatives and casual acquain tances. I asked if they’d be willing to confide, anonymously, their memories of literary lust. A remarkable number was. W hat’s more, some enthusiastic respondents couldn’t seem to stop adding to their answers. Others

divulged details about the smut their spouses and children scanned. I even received one unsolicited, face-to-face reply from a total stranger. I was stand ing in line at the circulation desk at the Fletcher Free Library, an armload of titillating tides piled up to my chin, when a white-haired woman beside me eyeballed my selection and comment ed, “You’re going to be busy.” “I sure am,” I replied happily, adding, “and what do all these books have in common?” “Sex,” she answered, not missing a beat. Then she went on to offer, “Mine was Lady Chatterleys Lover, a censored copy — that tells you how old I am.” Reading for arousal is hardly new. In 1740s Northampton, Massachu setts, the fiery theologian Jonathan Edwards was so outraged about young church members snickering over sug gestive books on popular medicine and midwifery that he called a special town meeting. His puritanical prose cution cost him his pulpit.

A century-and-a-half later, in the long-banned My Secret Life: The Sex Diary o f a Victorian Gentleman, Henry Spencer Ashbee revealed, among other things, his adolescent literary licentiousness.

Before I had seen anyone frig, I had been permitted to read novels... My father used to select themfor me at first, but soon left me to myself and, now he was dead, I devoured what books I liked, hunting for the love pas sages, thinking of the beauty of the women, reading over and over again the description of their charms, and envying their lovers' meetings...

The hornier-than-thou anti-hero of Portnoy’s Complaint doesn’t need novels to stir his sensuous imagina tion. Under the heading “Wacking Off,” Alex Portnoy riffs:

"Oh shove it in me, Big Boy," cried the cored apple that I banged silly on that picnic. "Big Boy, Big Boy, oh give me

all you've got," begged the empty milk bottle that I kept hidden in our stor age bin in the basement, to drive wild after school with my vaselined upright. "Come, Big Boy, come," screamed the maddened piece of liver that, in my own insanity, I bought one afternoon at a butcher shop and, believe it or not, violated behind a billboard on the way to a bar mitzvah lesson. Philip Roth’s controversial comedy loomed large in lots of fortysomethings’ memories. If these readers fol lowed the narrator’s masturbatory model, they weren’t telling. Then again, I didn’t ask. What I wanted was titles, and those came in aplenty — occasionally slathered with enthusiastic expletives. Ideal MarriageIts Physiology and Technique was “a rev elation!!!!” gushed one 79-year-old grandmother who remembers reading it at 13. Dutch gynecologist T heodor Van de Velde’s forward-looking 1928 manual suggests various “possible post' tions,” including the “genital kiss.

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of N ew & Used VOLVO & SAAB A generation or so later, another young teen “was quite fond of” Hawaii, by James Michener. “There was a lovely section about a surfing instruc tor whose hands roamed under the bathing suits of his female clients during the surfing les sons, and afterwards in their hotel rooms,” this respondent divulged. “Great stuff for a 13year-old in 1961. Please do make this anonymous, though!” Another man lamented, “Burlington in the ’60s was still more like the late ’50s. All I remember is that the copy of Catcher in the Rye at Fletcher Free had every ‘dirty’ word underlined in heavy pencil. In case you missed that, there were bold exclamation marks in the margin. Really choice words got multiple exclamation marks and one to five stars. You could see the poor bugger’s excitement building. Pathetic. This hardused volume fell open to Holden’s misadventure with the seedy pimp, ‘old crumby Maurice,’ which was stained.” This same guy observed, “Sex education at Edmunds Junior High consisted of a movie like a driver’s ed scare documentary that insisted you’d get pregnant and syphilis if you do it even once. Mostly we gleaned tidbits from R-rated movies, the National Lampoon, and what Frank Zappa called ‘that tacky little pamphlet in your daddy’s bottom drawer.’ It was a meager time.” Unless you knew where to look. Other adolescents of that era were enjoying the underwear ads in the Sears catalogue, or

typical one. The male then begins a series of rhythmic pelvic thrusts. These can vary considerably in strength and speed, but in an uninhibited sit uation they are rather rapid and deeply penetrating.

One enterprising fellow uncovered some choice verbiage in William Styron’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, The Confessions o f N at Turner. Heavy breasted, full-bellied, she stood naked before me in my mind's eye, thrusting at me her glossy brown midriff with its softly rounding belly-bulge and its nest of black hair. Try as I might I could not banish her, keep her away; my Bible availed me nothing. Does you want a Vil bit ob honeycomb, sweet pussy bee? She crooned to me with those words she had wheedled others, and as she ground her hips in my face, with delicate brown fingers stroking the pink lips of her sex, my own stiff ened. In hot fancy my arms went out to encircle her slick haunch and ripe behind, my mouth was buried in her wet crotch1; and godless mad words struggled on my tongue: Lap. ^ L ic tS u c k . , ^

Seek and ye shall find. A woman now in her early forties described what she called a “very postmodern dirty-book-reading experience: thumbing through my mother’s copy of Sexual Politics. I started reading Kate Millet’s theory, but quickly became distracted by her quota tions from Henry Miller, from

out in my mind,” one informant wrote. “I think I got it from a friend and I definitely kept it hidden under my bed while I was reading it. I don’t remember the specific scenes or pages, just lots of foreplay descriptions that ■ were definitely ‘steamy’ for me at the time.” The Godfather showed up on several lists. She felt something burning pass between her thighs. She let her right hand drop from his neck and reached down to guide him. Her hand closed around an enor mous, blood-gorged pole of mus cle. It pulsated in her hand like an animal and, almost weeping with grateful ecstasy she pointed it into her own wet, turgid flesh. The thrust of its entering, the unbelievable pleasure made her gasp, brought her legs up almost around his neck, and then like a quiver, her body received the savage arrows of his lightninglike thrusts; innumerable, tortur ing; arching her pelvis higher and higher until for the first time in her life she reached a shattering climax, felt his hard ness break and then the crawly flood of semen over her thighs.

That’s,from the wedding scene, which was specifically ref- ^ erenced by everyone who men tioned Mario Puzo’s best-seller. Fans of Sonny Corleone s muscu lar member also offered the actu al page number on which it makes its tumescent appearance. But even if they hadn’t, the essen tial scene would have been easy to find: The spine of the library’s copy breaks exactly there. In fact,

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Lots of the licentious literature I brought h o m e from the library opened automatically to the good parts, thd'f biblio-equivalent of a com e-hither look.

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getting hot and bothered over their parents’ copies of The Naked Ape. W hat zoologist Desmond Morris’ “scientific” study of the human animal lacks ln passion, it makes up for with

specifics. Copulation starts with the inser tion of the male's penis into the female's vagina. This is most commonly performed with the couple face-to-face, the male over the female, both in a hori zontal position, with the female's legs apart. There are many variations of this position, os we shall be discussing later, but this is the simplest and most

Tropic o f Cancer or Capricorn or whatever the hell he wrote. Millet would alternate between psychoanalyzing Miller’s warped, misogynist perspective, and giv ing examples to support her argument — and it was these , really dirty quotations that were so riveting.” .. ,. .

Less esoteric but equally arousing stuff turned up in the popular fiction of the 1960s and 70s. That may have been the golden age of dirty books, a time when reading about sex still shocked and lots of sexy books were being published. “ Valley o f the Dolls is that one that sticks

lots of the licentious literature I brought home from the library opened automatically to the good parts, the biblio-equivalent of a come-hither look. This wouldn’t surprise one correspondent who made good use of his position as a high school library page. “I learned that you could very easily find the dirty passages in a book by just letting it fall open naturally. Nine times out of 10, there they were. Presumably, those were the most read parts, or at least, the parts where people were most tightly gripping the cover.” Another perk: access to Anais

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The hornier-than-thou anti-hero of Portnoy's Complaint doesn’t need novels to stir his sensuous imagination. Nin’s Little Birds. My friend called that collection of 1930s erotica “one long dirty part to my teen sensibility.” His assess ment is right on. “The Woman On the Dunes,” for example, includes this passage, narrated from a man’s point of view, but clearly written by a woman. He was sitting like a Buddha. She leaned over and took his small wilted penis in her mouth. She licked it softly, tenderly, linger ing over the tip of it. It stirred. He looked down at the sight of her wide red mouth so beauti fully curved around his penis. With one hand she touched his balls, with the other she moved the head of the penis, enclosing it and pulling it gently. Then, sitting against him, she took it and directed it between her legs. She rubbed the penis gently against her clitoris, over and over again.

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We got into his bed and fell asleep for an hour and when we woke up Ralph was hard again. This time Michael made it last much, much longer and I got so carried away I grabbed his backside with both hands, trying to push him deeper and deeper into me — and I spread my legs as far apart as I could — and I raised my hips off the bed — and I moved with him, again and again and again — and at last, I came. I came right before Michael and as I did I made noises, just like my mother.

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dren’s department. “I’m sure you’ll get this answer from lots of gals,” my informant com mented, “but Forever by Judy Blume was the classic for my generation... I just remember that one of the male characters called his penis ‘Ralph.’” She’s not the only one. The young adult novel about first love — and the “character” of Ralph the penis — was mentioned more than any other book.

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“I think I took that one home from the library without checking it out,” my friend admitted.

For many, the adventure of acquiring those first dirty books is a story in itself. “There were two books,” a 40-year-old man reported, “unobtrusively dis played in the home of someone for whom babysitting services were performed... Flipping to the good parts helped while away the hours after the kids went to sleep. As I grew beyond the sitting age, the location of the books were passed along to my successor, and presumably beyond.” All that sneaking around still weighs on some consciences. A woman now expecting her first child remembered “scouring the few Anne Rice novels my mom had for some of the homoerotic scenes.” She begged, “Please reassure me that you’re not put ting my name with this. I’m not sure that I’m ready for my father to know that about me.” But, like most people who came of age in the ’80s, she did n’t need to resort to her parents’ bookshelves. All she had to do was go to the Judy Blume sec tion of her local library’s chil

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1684 — Aristotle's Compleat Master Piece in Three Parts The Midwife Rightly Instructed by Thomas Dawkes 1749 — Fanny Hill by John Cleland 1894 — My Secret Life by Henry Spencer Ashbee 1913 — Sons and Lovers by D.H. Lawrence 1928 — Ideal Marriage by Theodor Van de Velde Lady Chatterley's Lover by D.H. Lawrence 1934 — Ulysses by James Joyce 1935 — Studs Lonegan by James Farrell 1940 — For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway 1944 — Forever Amber by Kathleen Winsor 1945 — Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger 1953 — A House is Not a Home by Polly Adler 1955 — Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov 1956 — Peyton Place by Grace Metalius 1959 — Hawaii by James Michener 1960 — Alexandria Quartet by Lawrence Durell 1961 — Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller Catch-22 by Joseph Heller 1966 — Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann . 1967 — The Naked Ape by Desmond Morris 1968 — The Confessions of Nat Turner by William Styron 1969 — Naked Came the Stranger by Penelope Ashe

1744 —

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex by David Reuben

The Godfather by Mario Puzo 1970 — The Sensuous Woman by "J" Sexual Politics by Kate Millet Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume 1971 — The Sensuous Man by "M" Portnoy's Complaint by Philip Roth 1972 — The Joy of Sex by Alex Comfort 1976 — Even Cowgirls Get the Blues by Tom Robbins Tales of a Tenth Grade Nothing by Judy Blume 1977 — The Shining by Stephen King 1979 — Little Birds by Anias Nin 1980 — Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean Auel 1982 — Forever by Judy Blume 1984 — The Sophie Horowitz Story by Sarah Schulman 1986 — Lie Down With Lions by Ken Follett Then Again Maybe I Won't by Judy Blume .1987 — Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews 1993 — Bored of the Rings by The Harvard Lampoon 1999 — The Soulforge by Margaret Weis

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Forever is Blume’s most sophisticated kids’ book, but it’s not the only one that per sists in readers’ memories. “When I was a preteen I liked to read Tales o f a Tenth Grade Nothing by Judy Blume,” another thirtysome thing woman recalled, “because the teenage boy in that book tells about getting an erection in algebra class and using his textbook to hide it. I found that fascinat ing because he had a penis and I didn’t, and because then I thought, ‘H m m ... are the boys in my algebra class doing the same thing?”’ Other preteens of that era mentioned Blume’s Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret, in which Margaret starts men struating, and Then Again Maybe I Won’t, in which a boy has a wet dream. They talked about these titles secretly being passed from kid to kid or hidden in a designated desk, their choicest passages highlighted. More than 30 years after Blume revolutionized chil dren’s literature by writing about topics kids really want to read, her novels retain their appeal. When I staggered up to the library’s circulation desk with my selection of smut, the clerk noted, “You’re missing Forever.” “That’s because it’s miss in g ,” I explained. “I looked. It’s not on the shelf.” “Never is,” file acknowl edged. “That’s why we keep one in the office.” Stepping away from the desk, she fetched me the librarians’ copy. Although they’ve slipped out of the Fletcher’s system, the missing copies of Forever are likely circulating very well, enlightening some underground network of enthusiastic readers. What other books are kids getting their jollies from today? One high school stu dent admitted to finding The Sophie Horowitz Story (no rela tion to me) among his moth er’s novels and showing his friends selected pages. He’d even memorized one sentence from a scene in which two women find themselves alone in the curtained-off female section of a synagogue. As she pressed her body clos er to mine, I felt her relax and I reached into her body, sliding over her asshole, vagi na and slithery clitoris with first one finger, then two, then three.

But most of the under-30 crowd I queried responded with blank stares. “Dirty books?” they asked. “You mean magazines? Videos? I could show you some websites.” When finding the “good” parts is so easy, why bother wading through books? Because, as with actual sex, getting there can be half the fun. (7)

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16B I'tebriiaiy 04-11, 2004 | SEVENDAYS 1

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H A L F O FF L IF T T I C K E T S AT S U G A R B U S H ! NOW THROUGH SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 7,2004: Flash your Wizard Card at Sugarbush through Saturday, February 7,2004 and buy 2 lift tickets for the price of one. (cannot be combined with any other offer.)

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The w inner w ill be drawn W ednesday, February 25 & announced on 106.7 W1ZN & 99.9 BUZZ & in SEVEN DAYS newspaper.

O M V’ N

SEVENDAYS

MORRIS DANCE Over his 24 -yea r choreography career, Mark M orris has grown from th e "b a d b o y " o f New York's d o w n to w n dance scene to th e "M o za rt o f modern da nce ." He's appeared th ro u g h o u t th e U n ited S tates and in Europe. His chore足 ography's been com m issioned by various b a lle t com panies. And he oversees his own dance s tu d io in B rooklyn. This week, he proves t h a t cle an ing up y o u r a c t do e sn 't necessarily mean p re d ic ta b ility and pre te ntio usn ess. P erform ing an in n o v a tiv e blend o f fo lk and square da ncing, Asian fo o tw o rk , classic b a lle t and modern moves to m usic by a liv e q u in te t, M orris and his tro u p e beg th e q u e stio n , " I f it's n o t fu n , w hy do it ? "

M A R K M O R R IS D A N C E G R O U P Thursday, February 5, Flynn Center, Burlington, 7:30

p.m. $23-38. Info, 863-5966.

:: su b m issio n guidelines

All subm issions are due in w ritin g a t noon on th e Thursday before p u b lic a tio n . Be sure to in clu d e th e fo llo w in g in y o u r e m a il o r fax:

L istin g s & calen dar s p o tlig h ts

name o f e ve nt, b rie f d e s c rip tio n , s p e cific lo c a tio n , tim e , co st and c o n ta c t phone number. SEVEN DAYS e d its fo r space and style.

by Gabrielle Salerno

MAIL: SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402-1164 FAX: 802-865-1015 EMAIL: calendar@sevendaysvt.com.

18B I february 04-11, 2004 I SEVENDAYS

W E D .0 4 music Also, see clubdates in Section A. TAMMY FLETCHER: The Eden songstress belts out the blues at Montpelier City Hall Arts Center, 7:30 p.m. $10-15. Info, 229-0492. NORTHERN HARMONY: Sixteen singers sound off on village music from Bulgaria, Macedonia and Georgia, contemporary and traditional shape-note songs, American Shaker music and works by Vermont composer Don Jamison. Baptist Church, Bristol, 7:30 p.m. $12. Info, 453-2551.

Last month, a charmingly eccentric artist named Edo Warren Rhodes died in Gloucester, Massachusetts, at the age of 92. Last Saturday night at the FtynnSpace, five versatile actors from the Boston-based troupe Improv Asylum brought Edo's life back to life: nine decades in 90 minutes, all improvised from an obituary in the Boston Globe.

dance

Post Mortem is an ambitious departure from Improv Asylum's usual sketch comedy. Before each

'SALSALINA' PRACTICE: Work on your sensuous night club routine at this weekly Latin dance session. Salsalina Studio, Burlington, nonmembers 6 p.m., members 7 p.m. $5-10. Info, 899-2422.

performance, technical director TJ Connelly chooses an obit (they've done about 18 so far), and 15 min utes before curtain he decides which actor will rep resent the deceased. She or he begins the show by

film

reading the obit aloud, and then the actors take off, inventing scenes based on what they've just heard.

'A BETTER TOMORROW': This Cantonese flick tells a blood-soaked tale about the codes of honor between men. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 & 9 p.m. $7. Info, 603-646-2422. 'THE STATEMENT: This adaptation of Brian Moore's novel features an aged Nazi war criminal living under the protection of the church and right-wing politicians. Catamount Center for the Arts, St. Johnsbury, 7 p.m. $6.50. Info, 748-2600.

Rhodes' colorful history — tomboy debutante turned avatar of the avant-garde — gave the cast plenty to work with. Though they probably wished she hadn't lived quite so long a life — 92 years is a lot to remember — they mostly did a nimble job of storytelling. Among the highlights: Cathleen Carr, whose parents live in Burlington, as Edo's imperious and ever-thirsty grandma; rotund Montpelier native Harry Gordon as her father, son and boyfriend; hilarious Leah Gotcsic as her reclusive daughter, Jocelyn; Norm

art

LaViolette in multiple variations of All-American

See exhibitions in Section A.

nice and not-so-nice guys; and Marty Johnson as

words

the aristocratic Edo. Of course, the Asylum doesn't pretend to accu

WRITING GROUP: Penmen and women generate ideas and get instant feedback at a weekly freewrite session. Kept Writer Bpokshop, St. Albans, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 527-6242. PULITZER GROUP: Bookworms swap thoughts on Shirley Ann Grau's prize-winning novel, The Keepers o f the House. Morristown Elementary School, MorrisyiUe, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 888-5851. BOOK GROUP: Lit lovers learn about Canada's cultural diversity through a discussion of Robertson Davies' Fifth Business. Durick Library Special Collections, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2400.

racy. It's safe to say that Jocelyn did not spend her life hiding in cupboards and that Edo never heard anyone say, "Your head looks like a rutaba ga, mother." But however wacky and irreverent, there were moments which seemed to get to the heart of what this independent-minded painter must have been about, as when she rebuffs a suit or who interrupts her contemplation of a sunset: "How many times will the sun be on the horizon like that? You can slobber on my neck anytime." Edo, one suspects, would have approved.

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talks ARTISTS' LEARNING CIRCLE: Female creators discuss artistic styles and inspirations. Woodbury College, Montpelier, 9 a.m. Free. Info, 800-266-4062. 'EMERSON & THE LUMINISTS': Nineteenth-century American nature and landscape painting is the focus of this talk. Kellogg-Hubbard Library, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 223-3338. JAN REYNOLDS: The award-winning writer-photo grapher and world-class skier-climber gives a mul timedia presentation on cultural tolerance and environmental sustainability. Carpenter-Carse Library, Hinesburg, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 482-2878. 'THE ETHEREAL, THE AESTHETIC & THE TECHNO LOGICAL': Art and science converge in this talk at the Fairfield Building, Dartmouth College, Flanover, N.H., 7 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2010. 'A RIGHT TO DIE?': Clergy members of different denominations offer faith-based answers to this complex question. First United Methodist Church, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-1151. 'RESEARCHING YOUR OLD HOUSE': Waterbury residents read land records and learn about the history of their homes. Waterbury Town Clerk's Office, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 244-7036. VOLUNTARY SIMPLICITY MEETING: This info ses sion offers tips on how to de-clutter your life. Hunger Mountain Co-op, Montpelier, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 223-8000.

kids 'MOVING & GROOVING': Youngsters ages 2-5 dance and play at the Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. WESTFORD LIBRARY PLAYGROUP: Children gather for games, songs and stories at the Westford Library, 9:30-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 878-5639. SOUTH BURLINGTON LIBRARY STORYTIME: Youngsters ages 4 and up get together for easy listening. South Burlington Library, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 652-7080. PRE-SCHOOL STORYTIME: Tots take in their favorite tales at the Pierson Library, Shelburne, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 985-5124. BROWNELL LIBRARY STORYTIME: Preschoolers discover the fun of picture books, songs, rhymes, puppets and crafts. Brownell Library, Esse* Junction, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 878-6956. WATERBURY LIBRARY STORYTIME: Little ones ages 2 and under get hooked on books at the Waterbury Library, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 244-7036. BURNHAM LIBRARY STORYTIME: Preschoolers get an early lesson on the value of reading. Burnham Memorial Library, Colchester, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 879-7576.

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ANIMAL FEEDING: Watch critters do lunch with help from the animal-care staff at ECHO, Burlington, noon 8< 3 p.m. $6-9. Info, 864-1848. READING & YOGA PROGRAM: Kids ages 2-5 stretch their bodies and minds with help from a certified YogaKids instructor. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

activism BURLINGTON PEACE VIGIL: Activists stand togeth er in opposition to the U.S. occupation of Iraq. Top of Church Street, Burlington, 5-5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 863-2345, ext. 5.

etc REIKI CLINIC: Find out how i t feels to center your chi through ancient touch therapy. Reiki Clinic, Bristol, 5-8 p.m. Donations. Info, 453-2627. AN DATH UAINE: This culture club focuses on the history and current events of the Emerald Isle. Ri Ra Irish Pub, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 355-0314. CAREER & INTERSHIP FAIR: Nearly 30 New England businesses scout for prospective employees at the Alliot Student Center, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 11 a.m. - 1 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2536.

T H U .0 5

'EDUCATING RITA': Lost Nation Theater stages this comedy about an unlikely friendship between two misfits. See review, this issue. Montpelier City Hall Arts Center, 7:30 p.m. $21. Info, 229-0492.

film 'THE STATEMENT: See February 4. 'VENUS BOYZ': This documentary highlights New York's mid '90s drag-king scene. Loew Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 p.m. $7. Info, 603-646-2422.

art Also, see exhibitions in Section A. COMMUNITY DARKROOM: Shutterbugs develop film and print pictures at the Center for Photographic Studies, Barre, 6-9 p.m. $8 per hour. Info, 479-4127.

words 'BOOKER' DISCUSSION: Novel nuts chat about what makes J.M. Coetzee's The Life and Times o f Michael K prize-worthy. Warren Public Library, 9:30 a.m. Free. Info, 496-4205. SUE HALPERN: The Middlebury scribe reads from and signs her novel, The Book o f Hard Things. Ilsley Public Library, Middlebury, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 388-2061.

This Valentine's Day, a 40-piece chocolate

talks

music Also, see clubdates in Section A. JENNI JOHNSON: Backed by her Jazz Junketeers, the Vermont vocalist warms things up with her smooth, sensual voice. The People's Academy Auditorium, Morrisville, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 888-1261.

dance LINE DANCING: Show off your fancy footwork at St. Anthony's Church Hall, Burlington, 7-10 p.m. $6. Info, 518-297-3202. MARK MORRIS DANCE GROUP: The "bad boy" of New York's downtown dance scene and his modern movers perform works set to live music. See cal endar spotlight# Flynn Center, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $23-38. Info, 863-5966.

drama KAMIKAZE COMEDY: The local improv troupe takes cues from the crowd at Nectar's, Burlington, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 863-0091.

sampler ju s t m ig h t be w h a t th e do ctor

BURLINGTON BUSINESS ASSOCIATION: Chief Thomas Tremblay means business when he talks to entrepreneurs about public safety issues. Burlington Police Department, 8 a.m. Free. Info, 863-1175.

ordered. Former managing e d ito r o f Healing Arts Press and lo ng tim e health w rite r Rowan Jacobsen to u ts th e confection's health advantages in his book, C hocolate

kids

U nw rapped. We're n o t ta lk in g you r drug-

SOUTH BURLINGTON LIBRARY STORYTIME: See February 4. Ages 3-5, 10 a.m. BURNHAM LIBRARY STORYTIME: See February 4, 10 a.m. ANIMAL FEEDING: See February 4. 'STORIES & STUFF: Tots ages 3-6 have a blast with books and activities. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10-10:45 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. 'ITTY BITTY SKATING': Pint-size bladers take to the ^ ice at Leddy Park Arena, Burlington, 10-11 a.m. $5. Info, 865-7558. WASHINGTON COUNTY PLAYGROUP: Tots enjoy sensory stimulation and recreation at the Family Center, Montpelier, 9 a.m. Free. Info, 828-8765. DAD'S PLAYGROUP: Fathers and their offspring bond through fun and games. Family Center, Montpelier, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 828-8765.

THU.05 »

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TASTE TWO & CALL ME IN THE MORNING

store-variety Hershey bar. Jacobsen's research required him to sample dark, rich morsels from around th e w orld. I t also m eant s iftin g throu gh scie n tific studies lin kin g chocolate to heart health, low er cholesterol, and pro te ction against cancer, Alzheimer's, a rth ritis , asthma and in fla m m a tio n . A h isto ry da ting back to th e liquid cacao Mayan civiliza tio n s consumed 3000 years ago, and a directory o f th e best places fo r chocoholics to get th e ir fix make th e story even sweeter.

R O W AN J A C O B S E N Tuesday, February 10, Bear Pond Books, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-0774.

20B

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S a l a m i s • C a k e s • B e e r s • W in e s • J u i c e C a n d y & M o re ! S p e c i a l O r d e r s A v a il a b l e 2,12, M a in St. W in o o sk i • 6 5 4 ~ b 8 7 7 * e u r o fo o d v t.c o m

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G a r n e t

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R o g e r s Saturday, February 7, 2004 7:00 p.m.

Friday Night 2/6 'yoopw

A singer-songwriter w ith a style and vision all his own. G arnet is a formidable instrum entalist and highly-literate balladeer w ith a powerful baritone voice. “A brilliant songwriter. O ne of the major talents of our time.” — Boston Globe. Always an exciting performance.

NOUVEAU JA Z Z Q U A R T ET Saturday Night Sharing a ride to work can save you money and stress this winter. Sign up today with Vermont Rideshare and receive a free matchlist of people in your neighborhood who share your commute. And, if you carpool 2 days per week or more, you are eligible for the FREE Guaranteed Ride Home program. Foi more information on carpooling, the Guaranteed Ride Home program or to receive your free matchlist, call toll-free 800-685-Ri£)I2or visit us on the web at www.cctaride.org

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T he U nited M ethodist Church Rte. 7 & Seminary St. • Middlebury www.afterdarkmusicseries.com Tickets on sale at: Middlebury Inn, Main Street Stationery or by calling 802-388-0216 for more information.

20B I february 04-11, 2004 I SEVENDAYS

THU.05 «

19B

sport BURLINGTON WOMEN'S RUGBY CLUB: Ladies scrum for fun at Fort Ethan Allen Field, Colchester, 5:30-7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 879-6745. VERMONT PADDLERS CLUB: White-water kayakers roll around in the Mt. Abraham Union High School pool, Bristol, 8 p.m. $15. Info, 453-7879.

activism BURLINGTON PEACE VIGIL: See February 4. VERMONT EARTH INSTITUTE: Activists engage in a thought-provoking discussion about globaliza tion. Radio Bean, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 324-3340.

etc POKER GROUP: Card sharks gather for fun and games. Various locations, 7-11 p.m. Free. Info, 860-6111. CO-HOUSING P0TLUCK: Bring your dish to a dinner discussion of community-based housing. 67 Peru St., Burlington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 863-8755. FRIENDS OF THE BURNHAM LIBRARY: Book buddies organize and plan events at the Burnham Memorial Library, Colchester, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 879-7576. SMALL BUSINESS NETWORKING EVENT: Entrepreneurs form business alliances at the Chamber of Commerce, Burlington, noon. Free. Info, 877-835-2408.

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dancing. Jazzercize Studio, Williston, 7 p.m. $10. Info, 862-2207. DANCE PARTY: Shake off your winter chill with bluegrass tunes by the Route 7 Ramblers. Hardwick Town House, 8 p.m. - 1 a.m. $5. Info, 472-9609.

'FOOTLOOSE IN THE LAND OF THE SNOWLION': Travel buff Ben Wang transports listeners to Tibet and Nepal through slides and stories from his journeys. Trapp Family Lodge, Stowe, 7 p.m. $5-7. Info, 244-7037.

'EDUCATING RITA': See February 5, 8 p.m. CHICAGO CITY LIMITS: New York's longest-running improv comedy revue inspires belly laughs at the Lebanon Opera House, N.H., 7:30 p.m. $21. Info, 603-448-0400.

SOUTH BURLINGTON LIBRARY STORYTIME: See February 4. Ages 3-5, 10 a.m. PRE-SCHOOL STORYTIME: See February 4, 10:15 a.m. ANIMAL FEEDING: See February 4. WASHINGTON COUNTY PLAYGROUP: See February 5, Family Center, Montpelier, 9:30 a.m. Free. Info, 828-8765. The United Church, Northfield, 9:30 a.m. Free. Info, 828-8765. 'MUSIC WITH ROBERT AND GIGI': Kids sing along with Robert Resnik and his fiddle-playing friend Gigi Weisman. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. HINESBURG PLAY GROUP: Little ones let loose in a fun, friendly, toy-filled atmosphere. Hinesburg Town Hall, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 453-3038. WATERBURY LIBRARY STORYTIME: Preschoolers sit still for their favorite stories. Waterbury Branch Library, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 244-7036. 'JOYFUL NOISE': Parents and kids get cozy for songs and stories celebrating the outdoors. Shelburne Farms, 6:30 p.m. $5-6. Info, 985-8686, ext. 41. DRAMA CLUB: Little hams meet for theater games and rehearsals. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 3:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

kids

film 'FRIDAY FLICKS' SERIES: Classic movie lovers take in three features from the early days of French cinema. Vermont accordionist-pianist Jeremiah McLane provides the scores at the Vergennes Opera House, 7:30 p.m. $4. Info, 877-6737. 'TO BE AND TO HAVE': This French documentary focuses on George Lopez, a schoolteacher who prepares students for life outside the classroom. Catamount Center for the Arts, St. Johnsbury, 7 p.m. $6.50. Info, 748-2600. 'THE WEATHER UNDERGROUND': Sam Green's award-winning documentary exposes a group of radicals in the late '60s. Burlington College, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 434-3172.

Also, see exhibitions in Section A. QUILT GROUP: Partake in patchwork fun at the Family Center of Washington County, Montpelier, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 476-8757, ext. 100.

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words

music Also, see clubdates in Section A. PARIS PIANO TRIO: The world-class trio keys in on works by Haydn, Shostakovich and Beethoven. Union School Hall, Montpelier, 8 p.m. $6-16. Info, 229-9408. 35TH PARALLEL: Guest horn players join Mac Ritchey and Gabe Halbeg on hypnotic "MediterrAsian" jazz tunes. See calendar spotlight. FlynnSpace, Burlington, 8 p.m. $13. Info, 863-5966. CEPHAS & WIGGINS: The acoustic guitar and har- \ monica duo perform lyrical Piedmont blues. See calendar spotlight. UVM Recital Hall, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $25. Info, 863-5966.

dance DANCE SOCIAL: Singles and couples of all ages learn the basics of ballroom, swing and Latin

MARTIN PRECHTEL: The writer, healer and story teller weaves tales about his upbringing as a mixed-blood Native American. Bridge School, Middlebury, 7 p.m. $20. Info, 453-2960. 'WRITE TO READ': Authors, poets, comedians and songwriters swap word art at the Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7166. POETRY SLAM: Word slingers show off their skills at Rivendell Books, Montpelier, 8 p.m. Free. Info, ^ 223-3928. t ' k $*-

talks 'TRIAL BY JURY: BIASED JUSTICE': Music theory and music literature scholar Stan Greenberg makes connections between Gilbert & Sullivan, opera and social commentary. Faith United Methodist Church, S. Burlington, 2 p.m. $5. Info, 863-5980.

sport FULL MOON SNOWSHOE: Winter walkers tromp powder in the lunar light. VINS North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 7 p.m. $2-4. Info, 2296206. Ethan Allen Homestead, Burlington, dusk 9 p.m. Free. Info, 863-5744. Mad River Glen, Waitsfield, 7 p.m. $20. Info, 496-3551, ext. 17. UVM WINTER CARNIVAL: Some of the nation's fastest collegiate skiers race down the slopes at Stowe Mountain, 9:30 a.m. - 3:30 p.m. Free. Info, 253-7704.

activism CAREER CLUB: Developmentally disabled adults hone thejr social skills with help from Champlain Vocational Services reps. 77 Hegeman Ave, Colchester, 2:30 p.m. Free. Info, 655-0511.

F A M IL Y

IT A L IA N

SAT 07 music Also, see clubdates in Section A. DARTMOUTH COLLEGE GLEE CLUB: Pianist Gregory Hayes and the Arcadia Players join the student ensemble on Mozart's Requiem in D Minor and Piano Concerto in A Major. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 8 p.m. $16. Info, 603-646-2422. GARNET ROGERS: The powerful baritone belts out original ballads at the United Methodist Church, Middlebury, 7 p.m. $18-20. Info, 388-0216. CHAD HOLLISTER & SEAN HARKNESS: The Vermont guitar virtuosi sing and strum at the Chandler Center for the Arts, Randolph, 7:30 p.m. $15. Info, 728-9878. BLUEGRASS GOSPEL PROJECT: Hand clapping and hallelujahs mix with Appalachian fingerpicking and four-part harmonies at this benefit concert for Volunteer Vermont. First Congregational Church, Burlington, 7 p.m. $15. Info, 863-5966. BIG JOE BURRELL: At almost 80 years old, the Burlington saxman gets the crowd grooving with help from his four-man Unknown Blues Band. Harrietstown Hall, Saranac Lake, N.Y., 7:30 p.m. $12-14. Info, 518-962-8778. LADYSMITH BLACK MAMBAZO: The Grammy-winning South African a cappella ensemble and Paul Simon collaborators captivate the crowd with Zulu harmonies. Lebanon Opera House, N.H., 7:30 p.m. $27. Info, 603-448-0400. JULLIARD JAZZ ENSEMBLE: This student ensemble keeps toes tapping at the Fine Arts Center, Castleton State College, 8 p.m. $15. Info, 775-5413. THE UALS: The roots-reggae legends make things irie at the Eclipse Theater, Waitsfield, 8 p.m. $1215. Info, 229-9942. ■ CAPITOL STEPS: America's singing satirists go light on politics. Flynn Center, Burlington, 8 p.m. $1933. Info, 863-5966.

dance DANCE SOCIAL: Singles and couples of all ages and abilities mingle in motion at Jazzercise Studio, Taft Corners, Williston, 7-10:30 p.m. $10. Info, 862-2207.

2600 GROUP: Computer geeks gather for tech talk and gadget demos. Borders, Burlington, 5-8 p.m. Free. Info, 658-2739.

C A N N O N 'S

COLCHESTER WINTER CARNIVAL: Chase away the winter blues with snow sculpting contests, horsedrawn sleigh rides, face painting, arts and crafts, music, dance and theater performances and fire works. Colchester High School, 2-9 p.m. $3-4. Info, 655-0822.

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'SALSALINA' SOCIAL: Spice up your social life by learning Latin dance. Salsalina Studio, Burlington, 9 p.m. $5. Info, 899-2422. SWING DANCE: Jump and jive at Tracy Hall, Norwich, 8 p.m. - midnight. $8. Info, 603-643-5341. vso WALTZ NIGHT: Aspiring Freds and Gingers glam up for an evening made musical by the Vermont Symphony Orchestra. Wyndham Hotel, Burlington, 6:30 p.m. - 1 a.m. $150. Info, 800876-9293, ext. 20. VALENTINE'S DANCE: Ballroom types make romance on the dance floor with help from Joe Levesque's Big Band. Knights of Columbus Hall, St. Albans, 7 p.m. $15. Info, 527-0622. CONTRADANCE: Soft-soled steppers get down to live banjo, fiddle and guitar. Capitol City Grange, Montpelier, 8 p.m. $7. Info, 744-6163.

drama 'EDUCATING RITA': See February 5, 8 p.m. 'MURDER MOST MACABRE': Diners turn detectives at this murder-mystery meal presented by Red Barn Productions. North Hero House, 7 p.m. $39. Info, 372-4732. CABARET/DINNER THEATER: The Backyard Players and the Hinesburg Community Band and Chorus entertain while you eat. Hinesburg Community School Gym, 6:30 p.m. $15. Info, 482-4691. AUDITIONS: Theatrical folks play up their skills for a role in Stowe Theatre Guild's production of The Scarlet Pimpernel. Town Hall Theatre, Stowe, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 253-3961. 'SLAVERY IN MASSACHUSSETS': In this living his tory presentation, Henry David Thoreau addresses the "slavery question" that brought the nation to the brink of war in 1854. First Unitarian Universalist Society, Burlington, 7 p.m. $5. Info, 879-6980. 'TRANCE-FORMATIONS': Roderick Russell and Steve Taubman astound the audience with sword-swal lowing, hypnosis and mental contortions. Barre Opera House, 2 & 8 p.m. $19. Info, 476-8188.

film 'TO BE AND TO HAVE': See February 6, 7 & 9 p.m. 'SYLVIA': In this film, Gwyneth Paltrow plays the 20th-century American poet Sylvia Plath. Loew Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 & 9:15 p.m. $7. Info, 603646-2422.

Joh n Cephas and P hil W iggins' aco ustic Piedm ont blues o ffe r th e p e rfe c t answer to anyone w ho s t ill th in k s th e blues have to be sad. Since 1977, th e W ashing to n, D.C., duo has been keeping th e East Coast T ide w a te r tra d itio n a live w ith gigs a ll over th e w o rld , in c lu d in g President C linton 's in a u g u ra tio n . Cephas' b a rito n e vocals and refin ed ra g tim e fin g e rp ic k in g and W iggins' fre ig h t-tra in -c h u g

art

g ing harm onica have earned the m com parisons to legends Sonny Terry and B row nie McGhee. They tra v e l n o rth w ith tu n e s fro m th e ir la te s t release, S om e b o d y Told th e T ru th . W iggins calls th e ir brand o f dow n-hom e music "n o u ris h m e n t fo r th e human s o u l," p ro m isin g

See exhibitions in Section A.

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words POETRY SLAM: See February 6, Studio Place Arts, Barre, 7:30 p.m. $10-15. Info, 479-7069. DOUG WILHELM: The Rutland writer reads from his young adult novel about bullying, The Revealers. Bear Pond Books, Montpelier, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 229-0774.

talks INDOOR GARDENING TALK: Green-thumbed folks learn about seed starting, organic growing and community-supported agriculture. 33 Tracy Dr., Burlington, 9 a.m. - 3 p.m. Free. Info, 658-5733.

kids ANIMAL FEEDING: See February 4. 'SATURDAY STORIES': Librarians read from popular picture books at the Burnham Memorial Library, Colchester, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 878-0313. BORDERS STORYTIME: Little bookworms listen to stories at Borders, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. BILLINGS FARM ACTIVITY: Parents and kids create stories by looking at family photos. Billings Farm & Museum, Woodstock, 10-11:15 a.m. $5-7. Info, 457-2355. CHILDREN'S STORYTIME: Youngsters take in their favorite tales at the Book Rack & Children's Pages, Essex Junction, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 872-2627. HOMESTEAD PROGRAM: Dads and kids explore Vermont history through stories, music, crafts and nature activities. Ethan Allen Homestead, Burlington, 11 a.m. $2.50-5. Info, 865-4556. FAMILY SING-ALONG: Join Lynn Robbins and her guitar for singable songs at the Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. FAMILY FUN DAY: Adults and their offspring enjoy fun and games at the Faith United Methodist Church, S. Burlington, 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. Free. Info, 878-0589.

sport FULL MOON SN0WSH0E: See February 6, Ethan Allen Homestead, Burlington, dusk - 9 p.m. Free. Info, 863-5744. Mad River Glen, Waitsfield, 7 p.m. $20. Info, 496-3551, ext. 17. UVM WINTER CARNIVAL: See February 6. SNOWSHOE & DINNER: A snowy backwoods trek ends in a multi-course meal at The Tucker Hill Inn, Waitsfield, 3-7 p.m. $75. Info, 496-2708. SN0WSH0E/CABIN TRIP: Meander in the moon light, then enjoy a gourmet dinner at a remote woodland retreat. Clearwater Sports, Waitsfield, 5 p.m. $85. Info, 496-2708.

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GREEN MOUNTAIN CLUB CROSS-COUNTRY SKI: Nordic types glide along the trails at the Craftsbury Ski Center. $12-15. Info, 479-1236. SUNRISE SPIN: Teartis of stationary cyclists keep mov ing to raise money for the Howard Center for Human Services. Shelburne Athletic Club; The Racquet's Edge, Essex Junction; Sports & Fitness Edge, Williston; Twin Oaks Sports & Fitness, S. Burlington, 6 a.m. - 10 a.m. $200/bike. Info, 660-3669.

etc COLCHESTER WINTER CARNIVAL: See February 6, 7:30 a.m. - 4 p.m. HINESBURG WINTER CARNIVAL: Celebrate the season with dog-sled rides, skating, broomball, snow golf and storytelling. Hinesburg Community School, 9 a.m. - 3 p.m. Free. Info, 482-4691. FRENCH CANADIAN SUPPER: Fill up on hearty favorites, including pea soup, meat pie and mashed potatoes. Our Lady of the Holy Rosary Church Hall, Richmond, 5:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 434-3526. GMC POTLUCK: Contribute a dish and outdoors ideas to this Green Mountain Club meeting. Faith United Methodist Church, S. Burlington, 5-9 p.m. Free. Info, 244-7037. 'A DAY IN THE 1890 HOUSE': Experience 19thcentury life through farm chores, traditional activities and old-time games. Billings Farm & Museum, Woodstock, 9:30 a.m. - 2 p.m. $40-55. Info, 457-2355. TAX ASSISTANCE FOR SENIORS: Tax reps make it easy for elders to get their due at the Burnham Library, Colchester, every 45 minutes from 10 a.m. - 12:15 p.m. Free. Info, 879-7576. OWL PROWL: Learning about Vermont's nocturnal hunters is bound to be a hoot. Missisquoi National Wildlife Refuge, Swanton, 5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 868-4781.

S U N .08 music Also, see clubdates in Section A. 'ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON': Four Vermont musicmakers meld their talents on bass, piano, guitar and drums. Catamount Center for the Arts, St. Johnsbury, 4 p.m. $7. Info, 748-2600. 'SONGS OF RESISTANCE, STRUGGLE & HOPE': In this collaborative concert, Vermont musicians harmonize on songs from the labor, civil rights and peace movements of the 19th and 20th centuries. Bethany ^Church, Montpelier, 3 p.m. $8. Info, 223-2240.

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DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE: Meditative movers promote peace through joyful circle dances. Shambhala Center, Montpelier, 4 p.m. $5-7. Info, 658-2447.

drama 'EDUCATING RITA': See February 5, 6:30 p.m. AUDITIONS: See February 7. CASTING CALL: Men strut their stuff for a role in Lyric Theatre Company's production of Rodgers and Hammerstein's The King and I . The Schoolhouse, S. Burlington, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 658-1484. CHI: The 40-member Chinese acrobatics troupe offers an afternoon of high-flying fun. Flynn Center, Burlington, 4 p.m. $34. Info, 863-5966. 'HOME IS HEAVEN': Pontine Theatre presents this new play based on 32 poems by "America's master of light verse" Ogden Nash. Waterville Elementary School, 3 p.m. Donations. Info, 644-2570.

film "TO BE AND TO HAVE': See February 6. 'SUNDAY FUNNIES' SERIES: An afternoon of oldtime movie serials, cartoons and short subjects honors the golden age of cinema. Vergennes Opera House, 2:30 p.m. $4. Info, 877-6737. 'THE MALTESE FALCON': This 1941 film starring Humphrey Bogart tells a dark tale about betrayal, perversion and pain. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 p.m. $7. Info, 603-646-2422.

art See exhibitions in Section A.

talks KOREA REVISITED': Travelers Randy and Sue Rice reflect on how Korea's citizens and politics have changed in 20 years. Lincoln Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 453-2665. 'THE BATTERED STARS': American Civil War histori an Howard Coffin sheds light on Vermonters' role in Grant's Overland Campaign of 1864. Henry Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 388-2117.

School, Burlington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 651-7595. SNOWSHOE & BRUNCH: Work up an appetite walk ing in the woods, then re-fuel on morning munchies at the 1824 House, Waitsfield, 9:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. $55. Info, 496-2708. SKI CHALLENGE & SNOWSHOE TOUR: Women tackle winter head on, competing in cross-country ski races or trekking on backwoods trails. Ole's Cross-Country Center, Warren, 10:30 a.m. $20. Info, 496-3430. HALFPIPE/PARK JAM: Snowboarders and skiers compete for cool swag at Killington Resort, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 800-621-6867.

etc MAH JONGG: Bring your set and your game face to Temple Sinai, S. Burlington, 9:30 a.m. Free. Info, 862-5125. BURLINGTON SCRABBLE CLUB: Serious spellers engage in friendly competition at the Allenwood Senior Living Center, Burlington, 2-6 p.m. Free. Info, 655-6192. ROAST BEEF SUPPER: Carnivores bring their appetites and wallets to this all-you-can-eat feast. Methodist Community Church, Brownsville, 4 p.m. $9. Info, 484-5944. 'UNA FESTA ITALIANA': Mangia bene at this Flynn Center fundraiser featuring a five-course meal, fine wine and music by Robert Resnik and Gigi Weisman. Three Tomatoes Trattoria, 6 p.m. $60. Info, 652-4507. STARLAB: Amateur astronomers check out the con stellations and planets in the winter sky. Montshire Museum of Science, Norwich, 1 & 3 p.m. $3. Info, 649-2200. FLEA MARKET: Secondhand shoppers peruse * antiques, collectibles and close-out items at WOKO's giant indoor showroom. Blue Ribbon Pavilion, Champlain Valley Exposition, Essex Junction, 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. $2. Info, 878-5545. FLEA MARKET: Grab great deals on new-to-you goods at the Knights of Columbus Hall, Barre, 9 a.m. - 2 p.m. Free. Info, 454-1961.

M O N . 09

kids

music

ANIMAL FEEDING: See February 4.

Also, see clubdates in Section A. ONION RIVER CHORUS: Community crooners tuneup at the Bethany Church, Montpelier, 7 p.m. ’ $25/semester. Info, 476-4300.

sport SNOWSHOE/CABIN TRIP: See February 7. FLOOR HOCKEY CLUB: Practice your puck work with members of the co-ed adult league. Mater Christi

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SHELBURNE PLAYERS INFO: The local troupe

explains why "there's no business like show busi ness" to prospective actors and set designers. Shelburne Town Offices, 5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-8134.

film 'TO BE AND TO HAVE': See February 6. BURLINGTON FILMMAKERS COLLABORATIVE: Aspiring moviemakers trade shots and discuss possible group projects. Locations vary, Burlington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 598-2124.

art Also, see exhibitions in Section A. COMMUNITY DARKROOM: See February 5. LIFE DRAWING SESSION: Creative types try a hand at sketching. Wolfe Kahn Building, Johnson, 6 p.m. $7. Info, 635-1769.

words 'BEGINNING WITH MOTHER GOOSE' GROUP: Parents talk about the benefits and challenges of reading with babies and toddlers. VNA Family Room, H.O. Wheeler Elementary School, Burlington, 1:30 p.m. Free. Info, 860-4420. BOOK GROUP: Walker Percy's Lancelot prompts a discussion about honor. Kellogg-Hubbard Library, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 223-3338. 'PULITZER II' GROUP: Avid readers offer opinions about what makes Beth Henley's Crimes o f the Heart a winner. Blake Memorial Library, 2:30 p.m. Free. Info, 439-5338.

talks INTERESTING PERSONALITIES' SERIES: Brian Dubie presents his "approach to the office of lieu tenant governor." Faith United Methodist Church, S. Burlington, 2 p.m. $5. Info, 863-5980. HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?': Dr. Zail Berry, M.D. presents differing perspectives on end-of-life issues. International Commons, St.’ Michael's College, Colchester, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 658-2005. WOLFGANG MIEDER: The author and professor reveals how Abraham Lincolr\ employed ^proverbs •in the fight against slavery. Dorothy 'Ailing Memorial Library, Williston, 1:30 p.m. Free. Info, 878-4918.

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10 a.m. ANIMAL FEEDING: See February 4. 'ITTY BITTY SKATING': See February 5. WATERBURY LIBRARY STORYTIME: See February 6, Waterbury Main Library. FAMILY SING-ALONG: Parents and kids belt out fun, familiar favorites at the Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10-10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. GYM FOR TOTS: Youngsters burn energy running, jump ing and hula-hooping at the Charlotte Community School, 9:30-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 425-4144. CHARLOTTE COMMUNITY PLAYGROUP: Children and their caregivers get together for crafts, reading and music-making. Charlotte Community School Cafeteria, 9-10:15 a.m. Free. Info, 985-5096. MAD RIVER KIDS CHORALE REHEARSAL: Vocally inclined youngsters mouth off at the Waitsfield Elementary School. Kindergarten-3rd grade, 4 p.m. 4th-8th grade, 5 p.m. Free. Info, 496-4781.

sport MEN'S PICK-UP BASKETBALL: Guys gather for free-throws and fun at Flunt Middle School, Burlington, 7-9:30 p.m. $3. Info, 865-7144. RADICAL CHEERLEADERS: This protest perform ance-squad practices aerobic activism at the Kellogg-Hubbard Library, Montpelier, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 223-0980.

dance LINE DANCING: See February 5, CB's Party Place, Essex Junction, 6:30-9:30 p.m. $7. Info, 878-5522. SWING DANCING: Movers of all ages and abilities dance at the Greek Orthodox Church, Burlington, 7:30-9:30 p.m. $3. Info, 860-7501. SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCE: Anyone with the will to jig can learn lively, traditional steps at the Essex Junction Congregational Church, 7:30-9:30 p.m. $4. Info, 879-7618.

film 'TO BE AND TO HAVE': See February 6. 'THE VERTICAL RAY OF SUN': This Vietnamese flick tells the tale of four siblings whose bond is strengthened by ancestor worship. Multimedia Room, Library & Learning Center, Johnson State College, 7 p.m. Free. Info, Info, 635-2356. 'WINNING IN LIFE': Amputee and Olympic ski racer Bonnie St. John recounts her story and offers suggestions for business success in this video presentation for women. Edward Jones, Winooski, 11:30 a.m. & 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 655-5512.

art See exhibitions in Section A.

activism

words

BURLINGTON PEACE VIGIL: See February 4. LEGISLATIVE BREAKFAST: Vermont lawmakers field citizens' questions over morning munchies. Sheraton Hotel & Conference Center, S. Burlington, 7:30 a.m. $16. Info, 863-3489, ext. 207. 'SAFE HARBOR' CLINIC CELEBRATION: Do-gooders drop off over-the-counter medications, health supplies and new wool socks to help Vermont's homeless and marginally housed. Community Health Center of Burlington, 1-4 p.m. Free. Info, 864-6309, ext. 191.

BURLINGTON WRITERS' GROUP: Bring pencil, paper and the w ill to be inspired to the Daily Planet, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 863-4231. PAUSE CAFE: Novice and fluent French speakers practice and improve their linguistics — en frangais. Borders Cafe, Burlington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 655-1346. MERMER BLAKESLEE: The writer, teacher and pro skier highlights fear-busting techniques from her book, In the Zikes! Zone. Stowe Free Library, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 253-6145. ROWAN JACOBSEN: The author of Chocolate Unwrapped makes mouths water with a talk about the health benefits of this sweet treat. See calen dar spotlight. Bear Pond Books, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-0774.

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music Also, see clubdates in Section A. GREEN MOUNTAIN CHORUS: Male music-makers rehearse barbershop singing and quartetting at St. Francis Xavier School, Winooski, 7-9:30 p.m. Free. Info, 860-6465. LOS ANGELES GUITAR QUARTET: The Grammynominated foursome performs works by Cuban, Brazilian, Spanish and contemporary American composers. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 p.m. $24. Info, 603-646-2422.

music

Burlington, noon. Free. Info, 324-3340.

kids SOUTH BURLINGTON LIBRARY STORYTIME: See February 4. Babies-age 3, 10 a.m. BROWNELL LIBRARY STORYTIME: See February 4. Toddlers, 9:10 a.m. Preschoolers, 10 a.m. BURNHAM LIBRARY STORYTIME: See February 4, 10 a.m. ANIMAL FEEDING: See February 4. WASHINGTON COUNTY PLAYGROUP: See February 5, Faith United Methodist Church, Plainfield, 9:30 a.m. Free. Info, 828-8765. 'MUSIC WITH ROBERT AND GIGI': See February 6. TODDLER STORYTIME: Tikes take in stories, songs and finger-plays at the Burnham Memorial Library, Colchester, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 879-0313. ECHO STORYTIME: Young explorers discover the wonders of the natural world through books and imaginative play. ECHO, Burlington, 11 a.m. $6-9. Info, 864-1848. FATHERING GROUP: Dads and kids connect over games, projects and dinner. Brewster Pierce Elementary School, Huntington, 5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-7467, ext. 781. THANTOM TOLLBOOTH' STORYTIME: Children ages 810 follow Norton Justeris story about a young boy who discovers a tollbooth in his bedroom. Waterbury Public Library, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 244-7036.

sport BURLINGTON WOMEN'S RUGBY CLUB: See Feb. 5: CO-ED VOLLEYBALL: Adults bump, set and spike at a weekly pick-up game. Edmunds Middle School, Burlington, 7-10 p.m. $3. Info, 865-7144.

activism

dance 'SALSALINA' PRACTICE: See February 4.

drama RICHARD POTTER: "America's first magician" capti vates the crowd with mind-boggling tricks and illusions. Vermont State House, Montpelier, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 479-8500. 'PLAYS ON LOVE': The Champlain College Players put folks in the mood with seven short stories around the theme of amore. See calendar spot light. Alumni Auditorium, Champlain College, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $12. Info, 651-5962.

film 'TO BE AND TO HAVE': See February 6. DARTMOUTH DOUBLE: Movie buffs take in two of the first features to break the silent-film barrier, Alfred Hitchcock's Blackmail and Alan Crosland's The Jazz Singer. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 p.m. $7. Info, 603-646-2422.

art See exhibitions in Section A.

BURLINGTON PEACE VIGIL: See February 4. ANTIWAR COALITION: Citizens opposed to the U.S. occupation of Iraq strategize at the Peace & Justice Center, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 863-2345, ext. 5. BURLINGTON DEVELOPMENT REVIEW BOARD: Folks interested in zoning and planning issues convene at Contois Auditorium, Burlington City Hall, 5 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7188.

talks VERMONT FAMILY BUSINESS INITIATIVE: Folks learn how to convey their views and opinions to their co-working kin. Capitol Plaza, Montpelier, 8:30 a.m. - 1:30 p.m. $100. Info, 656-5897. MUSIC THERAPY PRESENTATION: Carol Jean Butler of Learning to Listen explores how melodic tunes can help treat learning disabilities, hyper activity and autism. Hunger Mountain Co-op, Montpelier, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 223-8000. VERMONT EARTH INSTITUTE: Earth-friendly folks learn about sustainable living at Radio Bean,

Also, see clubdates in Section A. THE ORLANDO CONSORT: The English ensemble whets listeners' appetites with medieval and early Renaissance songs about feasting. UVM Recital Hall, Burlington, 7:30. $25. Info, 863-5966. ALLISON MANN: The jazz vocalist provides an evening of easy listening at the Montpelier City Hall Arts Center, 7:30 p.m. $10-15. Info, 229-0492.

LAUGHING CLUB: Local yoga instructor and author Carol Winfield touts the untapped healing power of yukking it up. Union Station, Burlington, 88:30 a.m. Donations. Info, 864-7999. STARGAZING: Heavenly bodies abound in the night winter sky. Scope them out at the VINS North Branch SS^nfo, 2^-6206.

words WRITING GROUP: See February 4. BOOK GROUP: Bookish types chat about Charles Frazier's Cold Mountain. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7211. SYDNEY LEA: The Middlebury poet, novelist and essayist reveals his word wizardry in a reading at the St. Johnsbury Athenaeum, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 748-8291. ' ^ • • 'LITERARY VISTAS' GROUP: Annie Dillard's Pilgrim at Tinker Creek sparks conversation about the relationship between people and nature. Kimball Public Library, Randolph, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 728-5073.

TJTOPIA & APOCALYPSE' SERIES: This group looks at 19th- and 20th-century writers' futuristic visions. Vermont Technical College, Randolph, noon. Free. Info, 728-1236.

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talks 'THE BATTERED STARS': See February 8, Pierson Library, Shelburne, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 985-5124. 'DELICIOUS LIFE' TALK: Natural foods chef and herbalist Lydia Russell mixes things up with a presentation about whole-foods cooking and holistic nutrition. Montpelier Waldorf Child's Garden, 6:30 p.m. $20. Info, 229-4136. COMMUNITY CULTURE SERIES: A local Indian man introduces listeners to the culture and traditions of his native land. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free, Info, 865-7211. 'REFUSE TO CHOOSE': Sally Winn, executive direc tor of Democrats for Life of America and Women and Children First, speaks about "reclaiming femi nism." McCarthy Arts Center, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2536. GARRET KEIZER: The Vermont writer reflects on his Harper's Magazine article, "Why We Hate Teachers." Lyndon State College Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 626-6446. PLANT PRESENTATION: Take an armchair tour of Mongolia's alpine vegetation through the slides and stories of Center for Northern Studies founder Steve Young. UVM Horticultural Research Center, S. Burlington, 7 p.m. $5-10. Info, 864-3073.

kids 'MOVING & GROOVING': See February 4. WESTFORD LIBRARY PLAYGROUP: See February 4. SOUTH BURLINGTON LIBRARY STORYTIME: See February 4. PRE-SCHOOL STORYTIME: See February 4. WATERBURY LIBRARY STORYTIME: See February 4. BURNHAM LIBRARY STORYTIME: See February 4. ANIMAL FEEDING: See February 4. READING & YOGA PROGRAM: See February 4.

activism BURLINGTON PEACE VIGIL: See February 4.

etc

ACTS OF LOVE H allm ark arid th e calendar t e ll us it's a lm o st tim e to a c t extra am orous ag ain. This year, consider b a gg ing th e flo w e rs and th e

REIKI CLINIC: See February 4. AN DATH UAINE: See Februaiy 4. GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY': Musicians a'Af artists improve their creativity and "enhance their flow" at the Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 862-4884. ®

cards fo r a more e n te rta in in g way to say you care. The Cham plain College Players present a o n e -a c t play fe s t fe a tu rin g seven works on th e the m e o f love. The s h o rt p ro d u ctio n s run th e g a m u t from a p o ig n a n t ta le o f reg ret and heartbreak to a sho ckin g w ork o f science fic tio n and a ro m a n tic com edy in drag. W estford p la y w rig h t Warren S hu ltz debuts "D a tin g Dot Com ," a farce a b o u t th e risks o f 2 1 s t-c e n tu ry c o u rtin g . When o n lin e sw eethearts a tte m p t a m ee t-u p in th e "m e a t w o rld ," missed co n n e ctio n s and m istaken id e n titie s lead to unexpected outcom es. G otta love it .

‘PLAYS O N LO VE’ Wednesday, February 11, Alumni Auditorium, Champlain College, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $12. Info, 651-5962.

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bartending PROFESSIONAL TRAINING: Day, evening and week end courses. Various locations. Info, 888-4DRINKS or bartendingschool.com. Get certified to make a mean martini, margarita, Manhattan or mai tai.

childbirth HYPNOBIRTHING: Classes now forming for 10-hour series. Four-week evening series or eightweek lunchtime series. Burlington. $175. To regis ter, call Nan Reid, 660-0420. Learn self-hypnosis and summon your natural birthing instincts. YOGA FOR MOTHERHOOD: Now through June: Prenatal Yoga, Wednesdays, 5:30 p.m. Mom/Baby Postnatal Yoga, Fridays, 11 a.m. Yoga in the Mad River Studio (above Bisbees), Waitsfield. $70 for 7 classes, $13 drop-in. Pre-register, 767-6092. Class focus is to breathe, move and relax into mother hood. Ninety minutes o f self-nurturance and group support through yoga.

climbing CLIMBING FOR BEGINNERS: Every other Thursday, 67:30 p.m. Climb High, 2438 Shelburne Rd., Shelburne. Free. Pre-register, or call 985-5055 for details. Get an introduction to climbing in a no-pressure environment on Climb High's natural climbing wall. Fun fo r anyone curious about rock climbing. WOMEN'S CLIMBING: Every other Sunday, 12-1 p.m. Climb High, 2438 Shelburne Rd., Shelburne. Free. Pre-register, or call 985-5055 for details. An introduc tory dass taught by women fo r women in a comfort able, no-pressure environment. Leam the basics of climbing on Climb High's natural climbing wall. _

computers,

acting BEGINNING ACTING AND IMPROV FOR ADULTS: Twelve weeks, Wednesdays, 12-1:30 p.m. Flynn Center, Burlington. For more info or to register, call 802-652-4548, email registrar@flynncenter .org or visit www.flynncenter.org. Whether you want to act on stage or are simply interested in experiencing different ways o f being creative, this class allows you to have fun as you discover your imaginative and artistic potential. Participants explore foundations o f acting through scene work, improvisation and theater games. FILM ACTING CLASSES: Classes in Burlington, Tuesday evenings or afternoons, and Rutland, Thursday evenings. Visit www.thoreast.com or call 802-3188555. Learn the technique o f "Hollywood's most sought-after acting coach,” (Movieline, 11/02). Taught by Jock MacDonald in conjunction with Cameron Thor Studios, whose clients include Faye Dunaway, Sharon Stone, David Arquette and Cameron Diaz.

art ABSOLUTELY STIMULATIN' WINTER ART CLASSES WITH MAGGIE STANDLEY: Intermediate Oil/Acrylic Painting, six weeks, Wednesdays, January 21 through February 25, 5:30-8 p.m. $180. Exploring Painting for the Beginner and Beyond, six weeks, Thursdays, January 22 through February 26, 9-11:30 a.m. $150. Howard Space Center, Pine St., Burlington. Info, 233-7676. View instructor's work at www.artvt.com/painters/standley. The instructor's mission: to strive to enrich lives one brushstroke at a time by providing classes in a stim ulating environment which encourages diversity o f ideas and artistic methods, cultivates curiosity, values process over product and above all, creates an atmos phere where the duality between right and wrong can blossom into one's own unique artistic expression. Alt welcome. Scholarships available if needed to attend.

ARTS AND CRAFTS CLASSES: Studio Place Arts (SPA), a community art center that provides art education activities for Central and Northern Vermonters, has an exciting array of classes and teachers during its winter term. SPA has adult workshops and classes in painting snow scenes with Kathy Ravenhorst, waterless lithography with Davis Teselle, carving stone with George Kutjanowicz, oil painting with Armond Poulin, drawing portraits with Marie LaPre Grabon, creative furniture painting with Ruth Pope, engraving on granite and making Ukrainian eggs with Sofia Shatikivska, exploring artistic movements with Janice Walrafen, and more. There are children's and teen classes on the relationship between math and art, drawing superstar faces, and more. SPA classes are in an historic building with active gallery exhibits in downtown Barre. For info, call 479-7069 or visit www.studioplacearts.com. PAINTING, DRAWING, SCULPTURE, CERAMICS, PRINTMAKING AND PHOTOGRAPHY: Adults and kids. New classes beginning January through March '04. Life Drawing, Mondays, 6:30-9 p.m. and Wednesdays, 11 a.m. - 1 p.m. The Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, 135 Church St. and Studio 250, 250 Main St., Burlington. For brochure and info, call 865-7166 or visit www.burlingtoncityarts.com. SHELBURNE CRAFT SCHOOL: Ongoing classes in woodworking, clay, fiber, stained glass and chil dren's classes. For more info, 985-3648. Learn or advance in a fine craft with instruction by skilled professionals.

astrology WANT TO GET A SERIOUS GRASP ON THE LAN GUAGE OF ASTROLOGY? An excellent in-depth beginning: "Introduction to Astrology with Laurie Farrington," nine-week class starts February 24. $210. Intimate class size, with personal perspec tive. Info, 879-1147. Intensive introduction to the basic concepts and tools o f Western natal astrology. The knowledge learned here will be greatly benefi- *

MICROSOFT PUBLISHER: ^ fd a y t^ fe b ru a ry 14/28, March 13, 27, April 3, 16-11:30 a.m. Fletcher Free Library, Community Room, 235 College St., Burlington. $2/class. For more info or to sign up, please approach or call the reference desk, 8657217. Interested in making brochures or flyers using Microsoft. Publisher? This class focuses on the basics o f Microsoft Publisher including creating a design grid, text and picture frames, background elements, format ting characters and paragraphs, working with graphics and more. Students interested in signing up fo r this class should be comfortable with the mouse and key board and have some knowledge o f Microsoft Word. MICROSOFT WORD: Saturdays, February 14, 28, March 13, 27, April 3, 2:30-4 p.m. Fletcher Free Library, Fletcher Room, 235 College St., Burlington. $2/class. For more info or to sign up, please approach or call the reference desk, 8657217. Get acquainted with the basics o f the screen: toolbars, menus and icons. Type in text and move paragraphs around with cutting, pasting and delet ing techniques. Format your text with different fonts and effects such as boldface or italics. Cut and paste material from a variety o f Web pages. I f you are not comfortable using a mouse, please arrive half an hour early.

cooking HANDS-ON COOKING WORKSHOPS: Sundays, 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. February 8, Braising and Stewing*. February 15, Mardi Gras Favorites*. 118 Main St., Montpelier. $35/class or $45/class for those marked with an asterisk. Pre-register, 225-3332 or email CookingWorkshop@ neci.edu. You will discuss, leam, cook and taste while working in the professional kitchens o f our Montpelier campus with our chefs and students.

craft MEN'S NIGHT: Thursday, February 12, 6:30 p.m. Taft Corners Shopping Center, Williston. No fee or registration required. Info, 288-9666 or visit www.beadcrazyvt.com. Calling all men. Come and make a Valentine's Day gift fo r your wife, mother, daughter or sweetheart. She will be so impressed! Detailed instructions and personal assistance will be provided. Goodies will be served. PEYOTE STITCH CUBE BRACELET: Tuesday, February 10, 6:30 p.m. or Wednesday, February 11, 9:30 a.m. Taft Corners Shopping Center, Williston. $20, plus bracelet materials. Pre-register, 288-9666 or visit www.beadcrazyvt.com. Learn Peyote stitch with this great looking bracelet. Cubes make it easier to learn and are very attractive. SHELBURNE CRAFT SCHOOL: Learn from a national ly respected resident woodworker or potter, or try your hand at a class in fine arts, stained glass, fiber, photography, blacksmithing and more. Children's art classes also offered during afterSdiOdltiOdrS. *Sh^lburrte‘ Craft School, Shelburne 1 *

Village. For more info, call 985-3648. We have 58 years o f experience teaching art to the community. WOOL FELTING WORKSHOP: Sunday, February 8, 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. Create a fe lt wool bag (no knitting)! In this workshop you'll get acquainted with the very old and suddenly very trendy tech nique o f turning wool into fe lt to make small pouch es or a reasonably sized purse or bag. We'll then embellish with beads and other bits and needlework.

creativity CREATIVITY WORKSHOP, RELEASING THE INNER VOICE: Six weeks, Wednesdays, February 18 through March 24, 7-9:30 p.m. The Studio, 4 Howard St., Burlington. $180. Info, 860-7448 or 651-9818. "No matter what your age or your life path, whether making art is your career or your hobby or your dream, it is not too late or too egotistical or too selfish or too silly to work on your creativity," Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way. For those who have always wanted to explore their creativity, this dass is fo r you. We'll use a variety o f creative techniques and materials to gentty break loose personal blocks, fears or preconcep tions in order to reach an increased sense o f autonomy and flexibility in art and life. Learn to release your inner voice. For artists and non-artists alike. Instructed by Dorothy Bodan.

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dance AFRO-CARIBBEAN DANCE: TRADITIONAL DANCES FROM CUBA AND HAITI: Weekly classes: Thursdays, 10:30 a.m. - noon. Capital City Grange, Montpelier. Fridays, 5:30-7 p!m. Memorial Auditorium Loft, Burlington. Info, 985-3665. Dance to the rhythms o f Cuban and Haitian music. Dance class led by Carla Kevorkian. Live drumming led by Stuart Paton. Monthly master classes with visiting instructors. Beginners welcome! DANCE SOCIALS IN ST. ALBANS AND MONTPELIER ^b^,eyeTi^g 'begir]s:J^ t h three half;hppr dance lessons and is followed with open dancing until 11 p.m. Friday, February 13, Montpelier Dance Social at the Unitarian Church, 130 Main St., Montpelier. 7 p.m. Tango; 7:30 p.m. Rumba; 8 p.m. West Coast Swing/8:30-11 p.m. Friday, February 27, St. Albans Dance Social at City Hall, 100 North Main St., St. Albans. 7 p.m. Waltz; 7:30 p.m. Samba; 8 p.m. Nightclub Two-Step; 8:30-11 p.m. Open Dancing. $10/person or $5/student. No partner necessary! Info, www.FirstStepDance.com or 598-6757. Looking fo r something different to do fo r Valentine's Day? When was the last time you took your partner dandng? Don't have a partner? Dandng is a fun, safe and friendly way to meet lots o f new people! FREE WEDDING DANCE CLASSES!: Sunday, February 15, 2-4 p.m. Greek Orthodox Church at the rotary on Shelburne Rd., Burlington. Free. Info and regis tration, 864-7953. Here's an opportunity to try a half-hour o f each o f four dances (Foxtrot, Waltz, Tango and Swing) fo r free. Painless, fun classes so that you look fantastic on your wedding day. Taught by David Larson, with 25 years o f teaching wedding couples. LEARN FUNDAMENTALS OF CUBAN SALSA! Thursday, February 12, 6-7 p.m. The Champlain Club, Crowley St., Burlington. No partner necessary. $10 with free admission to our Salsa Dance Social from 7-10 p.m. Info, 864-7953. Join instructor David Larson fo r our once-a-month class that teaches the five basic Cuban salsa steps. 2003 US National Latin Dance Championship finalist...teach ing Burlington to Salsa fo r five years. Friendly atmosphere, good music, LINDY 102: Six Tuesdays, February 17 through March 23, 7:30 p.m. Greek Orthodox Church, 600 S. Willard St. (entrance on Ledge Rd.), Burlington. $45, includes free Vermont Swings practice sessions immediately following. Info, 862-7501 or www. vermontswings.com. A Level 2 Swing dance class spedfically designed fo r graduates o f Lindy 101 ora basic Swing class, avid Lindy Hoppers looking to polish their fundamentals and accomplished dancers of other styles who want to leam Lindy Hop. LINDY HOP/SWING DANCE: Sundays, February 22 through March 28. Three levels: 6-7 p.m. Swing lA/Lindy Hop Basics. No experience required. 7-8 p.m. Level 2; Classic Lindy Hop Moves (Swing Out, Sugar Push, Mini-Dip and more). Emphasis on tech nique. Focus is fundamentals. For Swing 1 graduates or by permission. 8-9 p.m. Level 3; Balboa. Beginning and Beyond. A smooth lilting dance from the 1930s currently enjoying worldwide revival. Must have six months Lindy Hop experience. Champlain Club, Crowley St., Burlington. $50 for six-week series. $40 for students and seniors. Info, 860-7501 or www.lindyvermont.com. All classes taught by Shirley McAdam and Chris Nickl. We focus on having fun and catering to the needs o f our students. No x partner needed! / -

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SEVENDAYS I febmary 04-11, 2004 I classes 27B

MOCA NEW WORLD DANCE CLASSES: Offers classes in belly dance, Samba, Flamenco, Hula, Firedancing, Latin Salsa, Cha Cha, Merengue, Hip-Hop, Northern & Southern Indian, Kathak, Oddissi, Swing and more! Kids, adults, beginners and pros, all ages, shapes and sizes can join in the fun. Info and to pre-register, 229-0022. Monica is an award-winning dancer and international choreographer who travels the globe seeking dance groups fo r local and global events. Many days, times and locations. Available for performance, parties and privates. Some scholarships available. MONTPELIER SWING DANCE CLASSES: Popsicle Toes presents six Wednesdays of Swing, starting March 3: Intro to Lindy Hop, 6:15-7:15 p.m. (right from the beginning). Lindy I "The Swingout," 7:45-8:45 p.m. (must have taken Intro to Lindy, or equal experi ence). Montpelier Union Elementary School Cafeteria, Montpelier. $50 for six weeks, or $10/class. No Partner necessary. Please bring clean, soft-soled shoes. For registration and questions, email Dan at dmciivt@gmavt.net or call Chris at 223-0026. These classes will teach the rudiments of Swing, with a strong emphasis on technique: center, balance, con nection, lead and follow, timing and more. It's not just moves, it's the way that YOU move. MOVEMENT WORKSHOP SERIES: "Movement as Metaphor," Saturday, February 7 and 14. "Authentic Movement," Saturday, February 28, 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. Flynn Center, Burlington. $30/workshop. For more info or to register, call 652-4548, email registrar@flynncenter.org or visit www.flynn center.org. FlynnArts' Movement Senes explores the body from a variety o f perspectives. “Movement as Metaphor" utilizes principles o f BarteniefFundamentals, Movement Studies and Body Mind Centering. "Authentic Movement" offers an explo ration o f the unconscious through movement. NEW SESSION OF CUBAN STYLE SALSA! New fourweek session of Salsa begins Thursday, February 19. Three levels to choose from: Intro, 6:30 p.m. Level 1, 7:30 p.m. Level 2, 8:30 p.m. The Champlain Club, Crowley St., Burlington. No partner necessary. $35 for session. Info, 864-7953. Taught by David Larson, 2003 US National Latin Dance Championship finalist...teaching Burlington to Salsa fo r five years. Friendly atmosphere, good music. SALSALINA DANCE STUDIO CALENDAR: Monday and Wednesday Nightclub-style Salsa classes: 6-7 p.m., beginners and new members. 7-8 p.m., Intermediate (members only). 8-9:30 p.m., Advanced practice (members only). Membership $35 or $55/month or $10/class. Biweekly Fridays: 6:30-7 p.m., Nightclub-

style Merengue. $5 (free to members). 7-10 p.m., Social. $5 open to the public (free to members). Saturday, Salsa/Merengue: 10-11 a.m., children ages 6-10. 11 a.m. - noon, youth ages 11-16. 12-1 p.m., all ages Social. Membership $35/month or $10/class. 266 Pine St. (above Recycle North), Burlington. Info, 899-2422 or write to vemoore@ gmavt.net. At Vermont’s first Salsa dance studio you will learn the basic techniques required to advance to our classes taught by professional Salsa dancers from Boston and New York City. No dance experience or partner necessary, ju st the desire to have fun! You can drop in at any time and prepare fo r an enjoyable workout! Come join our company o f exultant dancers and, who knows, you may get hooked. WEDDING DANCE WORKSHOP! Four-week work shop, Saturdays, February 21, 28, March 6 and 20. Tango, noon-1 p.m. Waltz, 1-2 p.m. Foxtrot, 2-3 p.m. Swing, 3-4 p.m. Greek Orthodox Church at the rotary on Shelburne Rd., Burlington. $70/ couple for four hours (mix and match or learn one dance for four weeks). Info and registration, 8647953. This 4-week workshop will get you ready to look great at your wedding. Painless and fun! Taught by David Larson, with 25 years o f teaching wedding couples. WEDDING DANCE WORKSHOP: Sunday, February 29, 1-3 p.m. (Rumba and Foxtrot basics). The Champlain Club, 20 Crowley St., Burlington. $50/couple. Info, visit www.FirstStepDance.com or call 598-6757. Congratulations! You are about to begin the next chapter o f your life with the most wonderful person in the world, your future spouse! Would you like to look great during your first dance together as a married couple? Take the First Step and jo in us fo r a wedding dance workshop designed to teach the basics o f looking good together on the dance floor!

drawing DRAWING - FOCUS ON FACES: Ages 14 and up. Six weeks, Thursdays, February 19 through March 25, 5:30-7:30 p.m. The Studio, 4 Howard St., Burlington. $60. Info, 860-7448 or 651-9818. Life drawing with a focus on faces. Learn the basics o f drawing and shading or improve your portrait draw ing skills. Instructed by Dorothy Bocian. EXPLORING FIGURE DRAWING: Eight weeks, March 2 through April 20, 1:30-4 p.m. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. This class will use the model as the subject in a series o f draw ing explorations that will focus on a different aspect

o f composition each class, including positive/negative shapes, placement, light and dark, and relationship o f the figure to the surrounding space. A variety o f media will be available and there will be an opportu nity to make drypoint prints o f some drawings.

drumming CONGAS AND DJEMBE: Eight-week beginner conga class runs Wednesday, February 4 through April 15 (no class 3/3, 3/10, 3/17), 6 p.m. Eight-week beginner djembe class runs Wednesday, February 4 through April 15 (no class 3/3, 3/10, 3/17), 7:30 p.m. Alliot Student Center, Room 207, St. Michael's College, Colchester. $80/eight classes. Info, Stuart Paton, 658-0658 or 872-0494 or email paton@ sover.net. Stuart Paton makes instruments available in this upbeat drumming class. TAIK0: Kids' beginner classes begin Tuesday, March 2, 4:30-5:20 p.m. $42/six weeks. Kids' intermedi ate classes begin Monday, March 1, 3:15-4 p.m. $42/six weeks. Adult beginners classes begin Monday, March 1, 5:30-6:50 p.m. $56/seven class es. Adult intermediate classes begin Monday, March 1, 7-8:30 p.m. $56/seven weeks. Apprentice classes begin Tuesday, March 2, 5:30-6:30 p.m. $56/seven weeks. Taiko Space, 208 Flynn Ave, Burlington. Info, Stuart Paton, 658-0658. Experience the power o f Taiko-style drumming.

education

and the EMF Balancing Technique, given to work with this system. Understand how your personal lattice connects to universal energy, the cosmic lat tice and how to work with it to enhance and accel erate personal and planetary evolution. Suitable fo r anyone interested in learning about an exciting, new energy system and its role in transformation, holistic practitioners who might like to diversify their practice or learn about new developments in the field o f energy, and newcomers to energy work who would like to learn a revolutionary system to facilitate sessions with clients.

fine arts FIREHOUSE CENTER FOR THE VISUAL ARTS: "Introduction to Portrait Drawing with Jolene Garanzha," Saturday, February 7, 1-2 p.m. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, 135 Church St., Burlington. For brochure and info, call 865-7166 or visit www.burlingtoncityarts.com.

healing CONSIDERING THE USES OF ADVERSITY: SELFHEALING FOR SURVIVORS OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE: The series, designed and facilitated by Gwen Evans, w ill run Wednesday evenings, February 18 through March 31. For more info or to register, call 864-0555 (office) or 846-2544 (TTY). This is a spiritually based series that will teach alternative methods and tools fo r coping with the ongoing issues o f being a survivor. Through discus sion, exercises, journaling and guided meditation, pathways to self-healing will be opened. Survivors will reclaim pieces o f their souls left behind, learn to develop a deeper inner relationship and begin a path o f self-discovery. Ms. Evans has been offering this workshop series through the Women's Rape Crisis Center fo r two years.

HOW WOULD YOU SCORE?: Kaplan, the nation's leader in test preparation and admissions services, w ill offer free practice tests on Saturday, February 14 for the LSAT, GMAT, GRE, MCAT, DAT and TOEFL. The Burlington Kaplan Center, 86 St. Paul St., Burlington. For more info or to register, call 1-800KAP-TEST or visit www.kaptest.com/testdrive. In addition to the free practice tests, Kaplan experts will provide an overview o f each exam and its role in the admissions process. The day o f the event, partic ipants will also receive their scores, complete with personalized computer analysis o f their performance. * HERBAL STUDIES: Wisdom of the Herbs 2004, an eight-month experiential herbal program, one weekend a month from April to November 2004. Annie McCleary, herbalist. Lincoln. $1200. $150 EMF BALANCING TECHNIQUE: Five-day practitioner non-refundable deposit holds your place. Class certification classes by appointment. Pre-requisite size limited, please register early. Info, 453-6764 Universal Calibration Lattice. Schedule and contact or visit www.purpleconeflowerherbals.com. info, see display ad in Wellness Aahhhhh. This Develop connection with the plant-people. Identify, training is concise and powerful in a gentle and sustainably harvest and prepare local wild plants nurturing way. Learn about a new system in the energy anatomy, the Universal Calibration Lattice

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fo r food and medicine. Participate in nature adven tures, meditations and herb walks. Learn to use a botanical key to identify wild plants. Practice spiritual dowsing. Beginners and experienced students welcome. HONORING HERBAL TRADITIONS: Eight-month apprenticeship program, one Saturday a month: April 24, May 22, June 19, July 17, August 21, September 18, October 16, November 13. Held on a horse farm in Milton. $770, includes all supplies and textbook plus membership to United Plant Savers. Slidihg scale and work position available. Preregistration required, 893-0521 or 563-3185. Join Certified Herbalists Kelley Robie and Sarah Zettelmeyer for an interdisaplinary experience understanding the traditional wisdom o f holistic health. We will be covering diet and nutation, organ systems and supporting herbs. Herb walks will take place in field, forest and wetland. Eat wild foods and learn about plant sustainability. Emphasis will be placed on women's health through all cycles. Animal companion remedies with practical experience on hors es will be covered. Make part o f your year an empower ing health journey far yourself.

kids

4548, email registrar@flynncenter.org or visit www.flynncenter. org. INTRO CLIMBING FOR YOUTH: Ages 5-12. Every other Thursday, 6-7:30 p.m. Climb High, 2438 Shelburne Rd., Shelburne. Free. Pre-register or call 985-5055 for details. An introduction to climbing in a no-pressure environment on Climb High's natural climbing wall. Fun far anyone curious about rock climbing. TDI SATURDAYS: Talent Development Institute Saturday Program sponsored by the Green Mountain Center for Gifted Education. Grades 1-6, five Saturdays, March 6 through April 3, 8:30 a.m. noon. Community College of Vermont, Pearl St., Burlington. $225 for entire institute includes mate rials and snacks. For more info or registration, con tact Dr. Carol Story, 635-1321, email carol.story@ jsc.vsc.edu or visit www.tdivermont.com. This pro gram is an off-shoot o f the highly successful TDI offered every summer at Johnson State College. Strands will include offerings in science, writing, improvisation, poetry, math and chess with faculty who're experienced in gifted education. TDI is a chance fo r gifted learners to get together fa r fun and academic stimulation. VACATION ART FOR AGES 7-11: February 23-27, 9 a.m. - noon. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. Bang your imagination and join the fun with a variety o f art mediums and some crafts. We will paint and draw and build and create a winter collage.

FIREHOUSE CENTER FOR THE VISUAL ARTS: Beginning Saturday, February 7, 10 a.m. - noon, "Digital Video Production with Rob Chapman." Saturday, February 7, 10 a.m. - noon, "Gallery Works! with Jude Bond." February 9 through March 1, "Afterschool Creative Clay and Wheel with Tamara McFall." February 10 through March 2, 'Tadpoles II COURTYARD FIBERARTS: Ongoing knitting classes Arts and Crafts," February 10 through March 2. for all ages (teens and up) and levels, from head Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, 135 Church St., (hats) to toe (socks), comprehensive beginner class Burlington. For brochure and info, call 865-7166 or es too! Call or stop by for a full class list, 863-8081, visit www.burlingtoncityarts.com. 4 Market St., Suite 6, S. Burlington, just behind FLYNNARTS ACTING AND DANCE CLASSES FOR Barnes & Noble. What a great way to get through the KIDS: Introduce your child to the excitement of winter months with warm yam in your hands! theater and dance through FlynnArts. Classes include "Play Makers" (grades 2-3), "Act One, Scene One" (grades 5-8), "Actor's Process" (grades 6 - 8 ), Ballet (grades 1-3) and "Dancemakers" v AWAKEN YOUR SPANISH: I don't take a one-pro(grades 2-3). For more info or to register, call b gram-fits-all approach. Depending on your needs, 652-4548, email registrar@flynncenter.org or interests, available time and learning style, offer v is itwww.flynncenter.org. ing a suitable training solution. l£n years of pro FLYNNARTS FEBRUARY AND APRIL VACATION fessional language teaching experience including CAMPS: Grades 1-3, "Cartoons into Puppets," college level. For info and to register, email Monday, February 23 through Friday, February 27, 9 Spanish4me@latinmail.com or call 310-4701. a.m. - noon. Flynn Center and the Firehouse Center BONJOUR! FRENCH LESSONS: Private lessons for for the Visual Arts, Burlington. "Tales of the Lake" individuals and groups. Burlington. Prices vary. with ECHO, Tuesday, April 20 through Thursday, Info, 233-7676. Experienced instructor Maggie April 22 , 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. Flynn Center Studio, Standley helps you conquer verb tenses, prepare fo r Burlington. For more info or to register, call 652world travel and grasp culinary and artistic lingo.

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language

ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE: Ongoing Wednesdays, 7-9 p.m., Sundays, 4-6 p.m. The Fletcher Free Library, 235 College St., Burlington. Free. Info, Carrie Benis, 865-7211. Classes will focus on reading, writing, speaking, listening and gram mar. They are open to all who want to learn and improve their English, as well as explore American culture and history. ESL: Ongoing small group classes, beginner to inter mediate. Vermont Adult Learning, Sloane Hall, Fort Ethan Allen, Colchester. Free. Info, 654-8677. Improve your listening, speaking, reading and writ ing skills in English as a second language. FRENCH LANGUAGE IN JERICHO: Day classes (all levels): Monday and Tuesday. Weekend workshops (advanced): One half-day (4 to 6 hours) once every four weeks or so. Please visit http://www .together.net/~ggp fo r schedule, registration and more details. Or call Georgette at 802-899-4389. JAPANESE LANGUAGE CLASS: Beginner classes, Thursdays beginning February 5, 6:30-8 p.m. Intermediate classes, Wednesdays beginning February 4, 6-8 p.m. St. Michael's College, Colchester. $75 for ten weeks. Vince Guy, 8633587 or hosaku@earthlink.net. The JapanAmerican Society o f Vermont is again offering two levels o f Japanese language lessons at Saint Michael's College this spring. SPANISH: DO YOU WANT TO TRAVEL TO A SPANISH COUNTRY AND BE ABLE TO SPEAK?: Eight ses sions, 55 minutes each, January 15, 22, 29, February 5, 12, March 4, 11, 18. Shelburne. Registration fee $15. Beginner group, 6:30 p.m. Intermediate group, 7:30 p.m. $185, plus $30 text book. Info, 496-3436 or constanciag@hotmail.com. Take Spanish lessons from a native Spanish speaker from Argentina and experienced teacher. Small groups, a lot o f conversation and vocabulary. Cassettes, conversation groups, etc. We're going to Buenos Aires in February, so don't be late. Sign up!

martial arts AIKIDO OF CHAMPLAIN VALLEY: Introductory classes begin Tuesday, February 3, 5:30 p.m. Adults: Monday through Thursday, 5:30-6:30 p.m. and 6:45-7:45 p.m.; Wednesdays, noon-1 p.m.; Fridays, 5:30-7 p.m.; Saturdays, 10-11:45 p.m.; Sundays, 10-11:15 a.m. Zazen (Zen meditation, free and open to the public), Tuesdays, 8-8:40 p.m. Children's classes, Tuesdays, 4-5 p.m. and Saturdays, 9-10 a.m. Iaido (the way of quick-draw sword), Thursdays, 6:45-8:15 p.m. and Fridays, 45:15 p.m. Aikido of Champlain Valley, 257 Pine

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St., Burlington. Info, 951-8900 or www.aikidovt.org. This traditional Japanese martial art emphasizes circular, flowing movements, jo in t locks and throw ing techniques. Visitors always welcome. MARTIAL WAY SELF-DEFENSE CENTER: Day and evening classes for adults. Afternoon and Saturday classes for children. Group and private lessons. Colchester. Free introductory class. Info, 8938893. Kempo, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Arnis and Wing Chun Rung Fu. One minute o ff 1-89 at exit 17. THE BLUE WAVE TAEKWONDO SCHOOL: Adult, fami ly and children's classes available Monday through • Thursday and Saturday for beginners, advanced and competitive students. 182 Main Street, Burlington (next to Muddy Waters). We offer the best value in the area with student and family discounts avail able. Mention this Seven Days ad and receive a free uniform when you sign up! Info, call 658-3359, email info@bluewavetkd.com or visit www.blue wavetkd.com. Former national team member and Vermont state coach Gordon White teaches the excit ing martial art and Olympic sport o f Taekwondo. Our experienced teaching sta ff emphasizes proper body mechanics and Taekwondo technique during plyometric, technical and cardio training sessions to improve flexibility, strength and overall fitness. VERMONT AIKIDO: Adult introductory class series starts Tuesday, February 10. Four weeks of begin ning level instruction are followed by four weeks of basic mixed level classes. $45/eight class intro course. Regular class schedule: Monday-Friday, 67:30 p.m. Saturday, 9:30-11:30 a.m. Sunday, 1011:30 a.m. Vermont Aikido, 274 North Winooski Ave, Burlington. Info, 862-9785 or visit www.vermont aikido.org. Visitors and guests are always welcome to observe a class or to practice. VING TSUN KUNG FU: Moy Yat lineage. 12 North St., Burlington. Call for 3 free intro, 324-7702. Traditional family-style training in the pure Ving Tsun system. Relaxation, centerline, efficiency. YMCA KICKS OFF ANOTHER SESSION OF FREE SHOTOKAN KARATE FOR TEENS: Ages 12-17, Tuesdays and Thursdays, December 9 through February 5, 4-5 p.m. Greater Burlington YMCA, 266 College St., Burlington. Free. Info, Kevin Hatin, 8629622 or khatin@gbymca.org. In this program, stu dents practice non-contact kicking, punching and striking while building strength and endurance. The class is led by Black Belt instructors. "Teens develop self-confidence, respect and self-discipline through karate," says YMCA Health and Fitness Director Kevin Hatin.

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ADVANCED BODYWORK TRAINING: Four-week classes starting in late February. The Chace Mill, Burlington. $195 (or $175, if paid in full by February 13), Reviewer $125. Complete info at www.stepheno dwyer.com or call 985-0109 ext. 1. Neuromuscular massage technique for the low back, shoulder and neck. Stephen O'Dwyer, CNMT, teaches neuromuscular and structural techniques for treating chronic pain. COUPLES MASSAGE: Friday, February 20, 6:30-9 p.m. Vermont Center for Acupuncture and Holistic Healing, 257 Pine St., Burlington. $50/couple. Info, 8647778 or www.vcahh.org. Learn massage basics to help you and your partner relax and feel harmony using a variety o f techniques. An excellent overview fo r our advanced Couples Massage classes. MASSAGE FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS: An eight-week intro to Swedish Massage beginning Friday, February 27 through April 16, 5:30-9 p.m. Touchstone Healing Arts, Inc., 205 Dorset St., S. Burlington. $325. Call for an application, 658-7715. Class covers all the basic strokes building up to a full body flow. Includes grounding and centenng and correct body mechanics. Instructed by Mark Adams. SAME-SEX COUPLES MASSAGE: Friday, February 13, 6:30-9 p.m. Vermont Center for Acupuncture and Holistic Healing, 257 Pine St., Burlington. $50/couple. Info, 864-7778 or www.vcahh.org. Learn massage basics to help you and your partner relax and feel har mony using a variety o f techniques. An excellent overview for our advanced Couples Massage classes. THAI MASSAGE FOR SWEETHEARTS: A couples' Thai massage and partner yoga class, Friday, February 13, 7-9 p.m. Yoga in the Mad River Studio (above Bisbee's), Waitsfield. $45/couple. Pre-register, 7676092. Learn to nurture and connect with your partner on a deeper level through Thai massage which applies the whole body when giving a massage. Each person will get the opportunity to give, as well receive a halfhour massage. Through this class you will learn how to movefond breathe frith your partner developing non-verbafcommunication skills' to reduce stress, nur ture and create a deeper level o f intimacy within your relationship.

GUITAR LESSONS: "SONGS OF THE SIXTIES:" Tuesdays, 6-7:15 p.m. Flynn Center, Burlington. For more info or to register, call 652-4548, email registrar@flynncenter.org or visit www.flynncenter.org. Can you play a few chords and strum a lit tle? Would you like to expand your repertoire? Dust o ff your guitar and come to this fun class where you'll learn basic finger-picking and strumming techniques through playing songs by The Beatles, Eric Clapton, Bob Dylan and more. JAZZ AND GOSPEL CHOIR: Thursdays, March 18 through June 10, 6-8 p.m. Flynn Center, Burlington. For more info or to register, call 6524548, email registrar@flynncenter.org or visit www.flynncenter.org. Learn vocal techniques and ensemble skills in this performance class rooted in the traditions o f jazz and gospel. The class culmi nates with a show in FlynnSpace and a performance as part o f the Burlington Discover Jazz Festival.

meditation MASTERY AND MEDITATION CLASS: First and third Tuesdays, 7-9 p.m. S. Burlington. Free. Info, 6582447. Study the teachings o f Indian Sufi Master Inayat Khan. Focus on accomplishment and success in your life and interfaith prayer fo r world peace.

5:30 p.m. Pilates Vermont, Shelburne Athletic Club, 4068 Shelburne Rd., Shelburne. Pre-register, 985-8700 or www.pilatesvermont.com. Experience the ultimate workout that dramatically improves strength, flexibility, balance, coordination and pos ture. I t creates a body that looks long and lean, with slender thighs, fla t abdominals and a strong back. Hollywood celebrities and top models use it to maintain beautiful form. Sports enthusiasts and professionab use it to develop coordination and prevent injury.

pottery FIREHOUSE CENTER FOR THE VISUAL ARTS: Ceramic Wheel and Handbuilding classes beginning in February. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, 135 Church St., Burlington. For brochure and info, call 865-7166 or visit www.burlingtoncityarts.com.

snowkiting SNOWKITING: Snowkiting is kitesurfing on your skis or snowboard, fast, fun and when you are ready, 30 seconds of hang time. Certified instruction throughout Chittenden County, Mad River Valley"”* and Stowe (w ill travel for the best conditions, fields or snow-covered ice). Half-day Kite Skills, First Ride Lesson, $75, 1-3 riders. You bring skis/snowboard and helmet; we provide kites and harness. No experience necessary, just be psyched to try an incredible new sport and great lead-in for summer kitesurfing. Info, Rachael at Storm boarding, 496-9691, rachael@stormboarding.com or www.stormboarding.com.

FIREHOUSE CENTER FOR THE VISUAL ARTS: Beginning Wednesday, February 4, 6-9 p.m. "Image Transfer Technique with Jude Bond." Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, 135 Church St., Burlington. For brochure and info, call 8657166 or visit www.burlingtoncityarts.com.

CENTRAL VERMONT PHOTOGRAPHY CLASSES: The Center for Photographic Studies at Studio Place Arts, 201 N. Main Street, Barre has a community darkroom open two nights a week and a new slate of winter classes and workshops starting in February and March. See the class listings at ww.steinhurst.com/cps.html, email us at center4 photostudies@yahoo.com or call 479-4127 to request a brochure. Starting soon: Basic Digital Camera, Printing on Fiber-based Paper, Learning to See, Darkroom Crash Course. PINHOLE PHOTOGRAPHY - EXPLORING THE CAM ERA OBSCURA: Two-part class for adults. Tuesday, February 17, 7-9 p.m. and Saturday, February 21, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. The Studio, 4 Howard St., Burlington. $82. Info, 860-7448 or 651-9818. This two-part class will explore the prin ciples o f photography using the camera obscura or pinhole qgmera. In the firs t class, students will each create three "cameras” using a variety o f con tainers loaded with photosensitive paper. The sec ond class will be out in the field "shooting" the photos and then in the darkroom developing the resultant images. Instructed by Dorothy Bocian.

scrapbooking FABULOUS FIBERS: Wednesday, February 11, 6:30 p.m. and Thursday, February 12, 10 a.m. Scrapbook Central, 37 Taft Corners Shopping Center, Williston. $15/class. Pre-registration and prepayment is required, 879-1240. Fibers are so versatile, and a fiber can be anything from yam to raffia to satin ribbon. We will create four projects using various fibers to tie up borders, journal boxes and more.

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PILATES VERMONT, FREE INTRODUCTORY PILATES REFORMER CLASS: First and third Saturdays, 10:30 a.m. Second and fourth Mondays,

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spirituality UNITY CHURCH OF VERMONT: 37 Lincoln St., Essex Junction. A seven-week series of "A Season of Non-Violence" w ill begin February 8. We w ill be studying The Wisdom of Mahatma Gandhi and Dr. Martin Luther King during the 10:30 a.m. Sunday worship. In-home study groups are also available. For info, call 288-9265 or email unity.vt@verizon.net.

VERMONT BRAZILIAN JIU-JITSU: Brazilian JiuJitsu and Self-Defense: Mondays through Fridays, 7-8:30 p.m. Wednesdays, 11:45 a.m. Saturdays, 11 a.m. Cardio/Power Boxing: Tuesdays, 6-7 p.m. First class free. Filipino Martial Arts: Saturdays, 10-11 a.m. Vermont Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, 4 Howard St., A8, Burlington. Info, 660-4072. Learn self-defense, martial arts, boxing and hand-and-stick combat fighting in this positive and safe environment.

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snowshoeing MAD RIVER GLEN: Programs include a different two-hour guided snowshoe, every Saturday and Sunday, 10:30 a.m. and 1:30 p.m., a Full Moon Snowshoe/Nighttime Nature Ramble, 7 p.m., or the Outbound Snowshoe Adventure, a backcountry trek, 9 a.m. - 3 p.m. with reservations ($50 p/p). Program fees for the two-hour snowshoe programs are $20 for adults, $15 for kids (12 and under) and $50 for a family. Tubbs Snowshoe rentals, $5 with a Naturalist Program. All programs meet at Mad River Glen Ski Area Base Lodge, Rt. 17 West, Waitsfield. Contact Sean Lawson, Naturalist Director, 496-3551 x l7 , sean@madriverglen.com, www.madriverglen.com/naturalist. Mad River Glen's award-winning Naturalist Program educates the public about the ecology and conservation o f Stark Mountain's forests and wildlife.

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TICKETS

30B I february 04-11, 2004 I SEVENDAYS

LIST YOUR CLASS d e a d lin e : thursdays at 5pm call: 864-5684 e m a il: classes@sevendaysvt.com fax: 865-1015

SUPPORT G R O U P S « 29B

tai chi TAI CHI CHUAN: Beginners' series, Wednesdays, 5:30-6:30 p.m. Ongoing classes, Thursdays, noon^ p.m. Saturdays, 9-10 a.m. The Vermont Center - for Acupuncture and Holistic Healing, 257 Pine St., Burlington. $12/class or $45/month for unlimited classes that month. Info, 864-7778 or www.vcahh.org. This traditional Yang-style shortform Tai Chi is a gentle and flowing exercise that helps correct posture and creates deep relaxation and overall health.

tai chi chih BEGINNER'S TAI CHI CHIH: Ten-week class starts Wednesday, February 18, 4:45-5:45 p.m. UVM's Ira Allen Chapel, Burlington. $75. Info, Fred, 863-2216. This easy-to-learn 20movement form offers a natural way to de-stress and enhance your overall physical, emotional and mental vitality. It's safe fo r everyone, regardless o f age or condition.

wine EXPLORING PINOT NOIR: Monday, February 23, 6:30 p.m. The Wine Bar, 133 St. Paul St., Burlington. $20/person (plus tax). Reservations are suggested, call 951-WINE or visit www.wineworks.net. Get a chance to experience all o f the unique styles o f this challenging grape! FRENCH FOOD AND WINE: Wednesday, February 18, 6-9 p.m. Windjammer Restaurant, 1076 Williston Rd., S. Burlington. $60/person, includes tax and gratuity. Purchase tickets in advance, 862-6585. Join us as we discover some fantastic wines around Burgundy and the Loire Valley. Chef Andy will pre pare an amazing bistro menu to complement this region's fabulous wines. STEVE'S FAVORITE WINE PICKS II: Wednesday, February 4, 6-7:30 p.m. Windjammer Restaurant, 1076 Williston Rd., S. Burlington. $25/person, includes tax and gratuity. Purchase tickets in advance, 862-6585. Steve from Cheese Traders and Wine Sellers is back fo r Part Two o f his special selection o f wines and cheeses from his worldfamous shop.

wood BASIC WOODWORKING FOR BEGINNERS: Ten ses sions, 30 hours: Wednesdays, February 4 through April 7, 1-4 p.m. Sundays, February 15 through April 18, 1-4 p.m. Shoptalk, 7A Morse Drive, Essex. $200/nonmembers, 25% off/members. * Limited class size, 878-0057, www.shoptalkver mont.com. Beginning woodworkers are exposed to the various components o f milling and joinery tech niques as they learn to use woodworking machinery necessary to construct a small end table.

BASIC WOODWORKING II INTERMEDIATE: 12 ses sions, Thursdays, March 4 through May 20, 6-9 p.m. Shoptalk, 7A Morse Drive, Essex. $300 non members, 25% off members. Limited class size, 878-0057, www.shoptalkvermont.com. Come to the shop to refine and enhance the techniques you learned in the Basic Woodworking Class fo r Beginners. The project fo r this course is a drop-leaf table. Very minimal classroom time. 95% o f class is on the shop floor working on your table. CUTTING DOVETAILS WITH HANDTOOLS: Four ses sions, Saturdays, February 21 through March 13, 1-5 p.m. Shoptalk, 7A Morse Drive, Essex. $150/nonmembers, 25% off/members. Limited class size, 878-0057, www.shoptalkvermont.com. Participants will learn to construct dovetail joints using marking gauges, hand saws and chisels. Come and learn the art o f cutting dovetails by hand and make a bench that will last you a lifetime. No prior woodworking experience required. FINE WOODWORKING APPRENTICE PROGRAM: Interested in a career as a furniture maker? Cabinet maker? Or artist in wood? Shoptalk pro vides an intensive shop-based apprentice program designed for emerging woodworkers. Shoptalk, 7A Morse Drive, Essex. For more info, call Shoptalk, 878-0057, email info@shoptalkvermont.com or visit our website at www.shoptalkvermont.com. LATHE CLASS: BOWL OR SPINDLE, YOUR CHOICE: One session, three hours. Shoptalk, 7A Morse Drive, Essex. $80. Individual instruction, 8780057, www.shoptalkvermont.com. Call to schedule a convenient time fo r you to attend. POND YACHTS FOR ADULT AND CHILD AT THE LAKE CHAMPLAIN MARITIME MUSEUM: Two sessions are being offered during the Winter Recess: Saturday through Monday, February 14-16 or February 21-23, 9:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. Lake Champlain Maritime Museum is located 6 miles west of Vergennes at 4472 Basin Harbor Rd. $195/team, open to ages 10 and up, and includes all instruction and materials. Info, 475-2022 or www.lcmm.org. Spend the winter recess getting ready fo r warmer weather fun during this three-day class with your son, daughter, grandchild or friend building a beautiful and functional pond yacht. Start with pine blanks and finish with a rigged boat ready to sail. Child and adult work with hand tools as they cooperate in making these traditional sloops (22 " long, 5 1/2" wide with a 27 " mast), complete with cooper keel, working rudder and sails. No pre vious woodworking experience is necessary. SHARPENING HAND TOOLS: Saturday, February 14, 1-4 p.m. Shoptalk, 7A Morse Drive, Essex. $45. Limited class size, 878-0057, www.shoptalkver mont.com. This three-hour course will present the theory and practice o f sharpening and honing flatedge tools with a practical emphasis on chisels and hand-plane blades. Through discussion and demon stration, students will learn to create and maintain

razor-sharp edges on their tools using a variety o f sharpening mediums. Students will have the oppor tunity to sharpen at least one tool blade during the session with instructor guidance. This class is appropriate fo r first-timers as well as those wishing to advance already existing skills.

yoga BIKRAM YOGA: Ongoing daily classes for all levels. 257 Pine St., Burlington. Info, 651-8979. A heated studio facilitates deep stretching and detoxifying. BRISTOL YOGA: Daily Astanga classes for all levels: Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays at 5:30 p.m., Wednesdays, 10 a.m. and Saturdays, 9:30 a.m. Beginners: Sundays, 4 p.m. and Wednesdays, 5:30 p.m. Starting in January: Special six-week intro series for teens, six-week intro series for beginners. Old High School, Bristol. Info, 4825547 or www.bristolyoga.com. This classical form o f yoga incorporates balance, strength and flexibili ty to steady the mind, strengthen the body and free the soul. WEIGHT LOSS YOGA, BASED ON BEST-OF-BOSTON 2000-'03. BAPTISTE VINYASA POWER YOGA, HOT AND STRENUOUS: 2-hour class, Sundays, 8:30-10:30 a.m. Union Street Yoga, Burlington. $12/class. Info, email tgp@together.net or

"You m ust drink m ilk, because dam n, it sure does your body g o o d ."

Unionstreetyoga.com. Drop 7-12 lbs. (water weight) per class. Bring a towel and water. Arrive early as classes fill fast. YOGA FOR CLIMBING AND HEALTH: Six-week series, Wednesdays, 6 p.m. Climb High, 2438 Shelburne Rd., Shelburne. $8/class. Info, 9855055. Stay in shape and have fun with yoga. Special emphasis on exercises fo r climbing and general health taught by Cat Earisman. YOGA FOR THE BLUES: Six-week series starts February 15. 11 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. Union Street Studio, 306 S. Union St., Burlington. $50, for the series. Debbie Safran, RYT, is certified in Integrative Yoga Therapy. For more info on this or other classes she offers, call 434-4699 or email downdogvt@aol.com. Grey skies and frigid temps got you down? Ju st not feeling yourself lately? Whatever the reason, let yoga strengthen the body and rejuvenate the mind. This six-week series pro vides a warm and supportive atmosphere to help pick yourself back up! YOGA VERMONT: Astanga classes every day. Jivamukti, Kripalu, Kundalini, Gentle, Iyengar, beginner, prenatal and senior classes weekly. Chace Mill and Flynn Ave., Burlington. Info, 6609718 or www.yogavermont.com. Many styles to choose from, various levels o f intensity, invigorate your yoga practice or start fresh. ®

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ME: YOUTHFUL, 44, 5'3", 140, GERMAN. He: friendly, loyal, respectable, nature and animal loving, for long-term. Prefer farmer with horses, love Western-riding. Photo guarantees reply. 1218

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GENTLEMEN, SAY HELLO TO THIS 49 YO mature, self-confident, green-eyed brunette: cute, healthy and in-shape. ISO SM, 45-50, financially secure, physically fit, loves the country, dogs, horses. You should be at peace w/yourself and the world, liberal-minded, financially solvent. Interested? Let's talk. 1208

ASIAN BLACK BISEX U A L

SINGLE MOM, 21, ATTRACTIVE, FUN, HARD working and educated, fu ll of life. ISO sweet, caring, independent, employed and committed guy. Not interested in perverted old men. Ready for LTR. 1207

CHRISTIAN COUPLE CROSS DRESSER

ISO GRASSROOTS, BLUEGRASS TO BAROQUE muse-ical kind of guy, 50ish, NS. Me: unconventional iconoclast, 56, NS, with playful propensity and a yen to learn to play the penny whistle. 1205

DIVORCED FEM ALE FEMALE-TO-MALE FU LL-FIG U RED

PLEASE MAKE '04 A GOOD YEAR FOR me! Ample, outgoing, witty WF, 23, ISO outgoing, attractive, SM, 21-30. Let's hang out and see what happens. 420 friendly. 1199

GAY HISPANIC IN SEARCH OF JEW ISH LATINO/A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP MALE MARRIED

I WANT A HAPPY MAN WHO BELIEVES in the power of love, nature and positive thinking. I'm a strong red headed Aries woman and need a real man who is hon est and w/a great sense of humor. 1194 LIBERAL-MINDED SF, 28, 5'1", ACTIVE, grad student seeks SM, 25-32, for drinks, dinner, snowshoeing/politically stimulat■ing discussion. Must be great guy, honest, motivated, like being outside. Friends first, LTR possible. NS/ND, please. 1141

M ALE-TO-FEMALE NATIVE AMERICAN NO DRUGS NON-SMOKING

DEEPLY BEAUTIFUL SEEKING DEEP FRIEND to play at inner evolution with f it bodies in remote places. 46. 1140

NO ALCOHOL PROFESSIONAL

LOOKING FOR FUN, OUTGOING, HONEST M ISO a gentleman/cowboy. He has to be open-minded also. I am open-minded, fun and outgoing, ta ll and thin. I f inter ested please leave me a message. 1135

QUEER SINGLE TRANSSEXUAL W HITE

SENSUAL, FUNNY, PASSIONATE SWEETheart seeks patient, loving man to com plete my life this Valentine's Day and all year around. Let's cuddle up and stay warm this winter. I enjoy watching hockey, good movies and am 420 friendly. Call me! 1128

WIDOWED YEA RS OLD

COME PLAY! ACTIVE, ATHLETIC, OUTgoing SWPF, 28. Seeks SM, 27-35, for pos sible l^R and to share in outdoor fun such as alpine/tele-skiing, snowshoeing, rock climbing and kayaking. Quiet dinners, con versation and laughter are highly appreci ated. Call, I might surprise you! 1116 PLEASE RENEW MY FAITH IN MEN! SWPF, 5'2", blue eyes, petite, blonde, ND, NS, easygoing. Looking for SWPM, 40-55, who is physically and emotionally fit, to share your interests and mine. 1115

of your own is FREE! G o online to

7Dpersonals.com . or turn to the last page and fill out

submission form.

DPF, LATE 30s, MOTHER OF TWO, NS, attractive, fit, energetic, intelligent, sincere. ISO a great guy who is sincere, intelligent, athletic, confident and adventurous. Looks and style aren't everything, but count. Looking for a rare guy who's hard to find. 1110 DOUGIE MACLEAN, BARRE OPERA HOUSE, Feb. 26. Me: SF, young 53. You: amiable companion for events such as this. 1108 SWF ISO HANDSOME, RUGGED SECURE M, 35-45. Respect, honesty, love of animals and kids a must. I f you're all of the above, the rest should fall into place. I'll te ll you more when you call. 1104

DPF, 48, 5'3", FF, BUT NOT TOO FULL, ISO LTR w/intelligent, compassionate. Me: love to laugh, listen to late 60s music, outgoing, but cherish quiet times too. Not into head games, honesty a must! 9753

WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE? STILL looking for that hopeless romantic who w ill woo me with candlelit dinners, roses, foot rubs. SWF, 42, ISO M, 40-50ish, for romance, fun, deep conversation, LTR. Me: 5'6", healthy, NS, ND, intelligent, sweet, spiritual, musical. 1100

SWF, 40s, SLENDER, BLONDE ENERGETIC professional, practical, but a hippie at heart. Into yoga, meditation, dancing, motorcycle riding, hiking and traveling. ISO someone w/strength and character, who knows who he is, but is open to new ideas and experiences. 9812

SINGLE, CURVY, FIT BRUNETTE SEEKS brunette valentine. 33, healthy, aware, driven by many passions. I particularly fancy sweet, hardworking, NS guys who are a little bit dirty, but wash their hands before they eat. Looking to enrich an already satisfying life. 1048

FOR REAL. ME: PROGRESSIVE CYNIC, 37, loving, chubby not tubby. You: smart, selfaware, romantic, modestly-sophisticated, expressive, motivated, creative, natureloving, sincere, humorous, eclectic. I f you love your mom and other independent women, want or have kids and pets,

34 YO VOLUPTUOUS, ATTRACTIVE, BLONDE, green eyes, outgoing, great humor. Works with kids during day, theater actress, dog loving, Red Sox fan, seeking hard work ing, handsome man with rough hands and warm heart. Must love big dogs and have sparkling wit. 1044

DO YOU NEED A LIVELY, HEALTHY, attractive companion for your imminent retirement? I enjoy sports, movies, travel, concerts, dining. Hoping for an active NS w/a sense of humor. 9775

SWM, BLUE-EYED, 5'11", 195 LBS. ISO SAF, 19-40 YO for steady friendship/love. Must be vibrant and refreshing. A mint for salad. She knows the lie of buddha and the scams of impression. All answered. 1223

DWF, 38, 5', CURVY, GREEN EYES BROWN hair. Sexy, funny, energetic, intelligent, honest, independent. ISO emotionally and financially secure, attractive, honest, car ing, SM, 30-45 for friendship, possible LTR. 9764

NOT YOUR AVERAGE JOE! SWM, 46, 5'11", 175 lbs, fit, healthy, ambitious, good looking, NS. Likes country, animals, out doors, movies, cuddling. ISO soulmate that's fit, attractive, healthy, down-toearth for LTR. 1224

VIRGO GODDESS, SWF, 31, 5'9" CURVY cutie, honest, funny, confident, emotion ally and financially secure, great family values, NS, fun indoors and out. Ready to shower passionate kisses and happiness on you. ISO SWM, similar qualities, med/muscular build. 9758

SPM, 28, ROMANTIC THAT WORKS TOO much. Been there, donp that. Looking for something new. ISO F, 24-32, for backcountry skiing, movies, playing and watch ing music, and general mischief. 1215

HEY THERE! SWF, 33, MOTHER OF TWO ISO SWM between 25 and 44, who shares the same interests, who is honest, caring, etc. I enjoy most anything. 1039 SASSY, UNHIP PF, 29. NOT A PLAYER. Pretty smart. Burlesque sense of humor. Affinity for kitchen waltzing, mediocre gar dening, mountain climbing, Sunday a.m. lounging. You? A nice man who kisses hun grily, showers regularly, laughs heartily, politics liberally and lives honestly. 1036 ARE YOU KIND? NEW TO BURLINGTON, arrtactive dancer/drummer, artist, out door adventurer looking for hipsters to see shows, films, climb mountains, prac tice yoga, listen to bootlegs, eat ethnic food. Reply if you're conscious, truthful, 26-36, attractive, happy, kind. 1035

COMBO OF DUNCAN; ISADORA DEREN; Maya, Dillan, Annie. ISO combo of Zorba, Zhivago, Zero Mostel. I f you know 3 of these, you're doing well; 4, it's worth a call; 5, I'll bake a pie for when we meet. 9752

m en > w o m e n

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE. 37-48, NS M. who snowshoes, dances, hikes and loves to travel. A working man of course. And not on house arrest. Oops! Did I type that? Has to be energetic and somewhat athletic. 1032 DPF, NEARLY 40, MOTHER OF TWO, NS, attractive, fit, energetic, intelligent, sin cere. ISO a great guy. He's sincere, intel ligent, athletic, confident and adventur ous. Looks and style aren't everything, but count. Looking for a rare guy who's hard to find. 1020 PUNK ROCK SECRETARY, 21, BROWN eyes, red hair, joyful and sincere. ISO M, 21-30, to discuss music and movies with and share a twisted sense of humor. Would like sparks and fun, but not LTR. 1004 DWPF, MASSAGE THERAPIST, 43, ISO OF mystic, universal, open-minded M, 35-48, to show me around VT and beyond. Want to have fun and experience new things. Let's get together and see what happens. Personal hygiene a must. 9942 SWF, 60s, MUSIC LOVER, TRAVELER dreamer, honest, open, active. ISO adven turer w/similar leanings. 9924 TALL, WARM AND SWEET DWF LATE 40s,"muy" attractive. Bright, well-travelled, bit of a sophisticate, playful, emotive, sen sual and strong. Admire openness in oth ers coupled with integrity. Enjoy sharing in stimulating conversation, music, arts and family. Gentle in heart, trustworthy and genuine. Looking for a good match. Welcome to my world! 9910 SEEKING SOULMATE. ATTRACTIVE FUNloving, open, honest PF w/a great sense of humor and a zest for life. Interests include, but are not limited to, dancing, dining out, music and travel. ISO honest, intelligent, PM, late 40s-50s with similar interests. 9833

LOLA

the love counselor Dear Lola, I hope th is doesn't sound weird or a n y th in g , b u t I seem to have developed a th in g fo r Vice President Cheney. I'm n o t a Republican or a n yth in g — b u t ju s t hearing him say "w eapons o f mass d e s tru c tio n " makes me m oist in th e knickers. Last n ig h t, I even slipped and sighed, "Oh D ick!" w h ile my sincere, Progressive boyfriend was making love to me (fo rtu n a te ly, he ju s t th o u g h t i t was tim e fo r him to stop using his to n g u e ). W hat I'd really like to do is convince my man to leave Fox News on w h ile we make love A m erican-style. B ut I'm afraid he w o n 't react w e ll to th is suggestion. W hat do you th in k ? Turned On in Tunbridge Dear Turned On, In th is lin e o f w ork I hear a b o u t a ll sorts o f carn al fe tish e s and fan ta sies, and my a ttitu d e g e ne rally runs tow a rds sexual lib e r ta ria n is m . I f i t fee ls good, a ll in v o lv e d p a rtie s con sen t and no one gets h u rt o r h u m ilia te d , says I , do it . B ut please — n o t

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charge your credit card from any phone, anywhere, anytime:

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SWPM, 41, FATHER> OPEN-MINDED, STEEP learning curve, skier, athlete, good listen er, enjoys live music. ISO SF, 30-45, with direction, grace under pressure. Let's meet! 1214__________________________ I WANT TO MEET A CLASSY, ATTRACTIVE, mature F, 45+, for dinner, travel, whatev er. I am an attractive, athletic, blonde, blue, 35, PSM. Rutland, but can travel, of course. Worth the effort! 1203 RARE FIND! 63, YOUTHFUL, TALL, FIT impeccable manners, values, integrity. Enjoy cycling, tennis, indoor/outdoor workouts, extensive travels, desiring more. Reader, serious and other music, plays, movies. Seeking erudite, active partner for companionship, travel, enjoy ment of life. Possible LTR. 1202 ADAM SEEKS EVE, 28-42. I HAVE YOUR rib and wish to return it. Fig leaf optional, intelligence is mandatory. Serpent provided after in itia l apple is offered. Apple crisp together. Burlington is Heaven for now. 1196_________________ ______________ DO YOU FEEL LUCKY? SWM EXTREMELY attractive, 5'9", 152, excellent humor, wonderful passion, big fish in little pond. Beaches, Broadway shows, sports, Saratoga, grilling, dining out, understand ing of space but also monogamy. 1195 SM, 38, TEDDY BEAR TYPE, ISO 420 friendly F. I am loving, caring, gentle, kind and a little shy at first. I like music, movies and being outdoors. Age and race unimportant. Looking for possible LTR. 1192_______________________________ SWM, 59, SMOKER, LOW INCOME, ISO low income F ror LTR, 50-60. 1190 YOU: BLONDE, LIBERAL, ARTISTIC JOKES, movies, TV, outdoor activities, simple liv ing, animals, Ib ft spoken, personality, painted nails, lingerie, classic rock, board games, Chinese food. Did I mention blonde hair? Me: DWM, 45, 5'10", 150, fit, NS, despise football, kissing expert. 1187 22 YO, SWCVM, 135 LBS., SWIMMERS build, hopeless romantic, knight, kind, loving, caring. Love: books, movies, out doors, dogs, strategy games, hanging out, writing, talking. ISO SF, 18-28, same sort of interests/personality. Similar body type. LTR preferred, anything possible. 1139 SWM, 39, NORMAL HUMAN, THE WORLD'S best pooch, ISO a njce woman and her pet companions to spend time with. We like to run, swim, play frisbee, tug of war. Maybe we could all hang out some time and see how it goes. 1137

GIRAFFE SHAMAN W/PETER PAN COMPLEX, deep, empathetic, very funny dad seeks F, 25-45, with strong intellect and eclectic tastes, who is able and willing to share life, food, bed. Beautiful, I hope. Spiritual, witty. 1132

IF YOU WERE TO IMAGINE YOUR IDEAL lover, strong, communicative, responsive, capable, not controlling, likes to play, with a life of his own and parts to share. Fit, good-looking SWPM seeks similar SWF, 27-37, for indoor and outdoor fun. 1025

ATTRACTIVE, FUN, AFFECTIONATE, Responsible athletic, musical, dog lover, homeowner, young looking 39, SWM. Enjoys: singing, live music, hiking, bik ing, camping, movies, country music, Sunday drives, dancing, making dinner, photography, friends. ISO: SWF, 31-42, attractive, fun, responsible, NS, friend ship, possible LTR. 1124

NUCLEAR FUSIONIST, MOLECULAR deconstructionist, architectural dadaist, artistically cognizant, charming, literate, cool, sane, urbane/hick, sensitive, attrac tive, little shy and understated. Exceptional humor. 6', 205, 50. Various unrelated inter related interests. Seek unique, extraordinary, transcendent, positive girL Nuclear fusion experience a plus. 1024

BALD, BROKE, SWM, 40, 5'10" HAZEL eyes. ISO shorter, untouchable SF, 18-25. Must be warm and cuddly, in love with simplicity and totally lacking direction. No smokers, heels or cold fish. 1119

INTERESTING, SMART, ATTRACTIVE, FUN DWJM father, looking for friend to hang out with. My passions are outdoor activi ties, cooking, writing, yoga, music and self improvement. I'm 43, healthy, secure, evolved, in good shape and considerate. Possible LTR. 1023

GRATEFUL DEAD, ORGANIC GARDENS psychedelic art, being a Dad, Vietnamese culture, stir frys, warm bread, quiet walks, a good night kiss. DWM, 38, ISO earthy AF with similar interests to share warm smiles, laughter, honesty, friendship and possibly romance. 1107 POWER BALL WINNER! NOT REALLY BUT a special SWF, NS may h it the jackpot of LTRs with a SWM, 48, NS. The odds of you winning in this lottery of love are much better than picking the winning 6 numbers. 1103___________________________ READY FOR A CHANGE? WOODWORKER, musician, extremely active, currently building a grand curved staircase in 2nd Empire Victorian, restoring a Queen Ann. I want to start a family, ethnic instru ment shop and cafe, in a small hamlet across the lake. 1010 A WONDERFUL GUY: .SWM, 29, 5'11", blue eyes, brown hair. ISO SWF 29-45 YO, for relationship. Very active, love to play pool & have fun. Please call. 1095 37 YO DWM LOOKING TO MEET SOMEONE within 20 miles of Burlington for dating and getting to know one another. Looking for LTR eventually. Must be open-minded and no games. I enjoy movies, bowling, just hanging out, like to be romantic. 1042 RELATIVELY NEW TO LIFE IN THE VERMONT lane. I'm secure, balanced and live to nurture/mentor. 43, 5'11", 175 lbs., ISO cute 25-35 YO to share surprises, fun and hour long hugs. I relate to northern Europeans, not psycho divas. 1033

MUTUALLY SATISFYING RELATIONSHIPS are a dance. I never learned the steps. I'm 37, tall, attractive, professional, sin cere, seeking a life partner. Want to see if we can dance together? 1021 CAPITOL CITY CATCH, 35, SWM HOT AND cool, artsy and athletic, smart and silly, easy going and energetic. ISO F, 25-39, seeking same or seeking change. Me and you? 1012___________________________ SWM, 33, EASTERN VT. WHAT I DO: carpenter, paper maker, sawyer. What I am: spiritual, fit, dreamer, open. What I like: friends, books, hard work, good dis cussions, simple living, my dog. What I am looking for: strong connection, caring, love. 1011 I'M 5'10" TALL, BROWN HAIR, BLUE eyes and widowed. ISQrjJR who is honest and likes the outdoors, movies and a lit tle of everything. I f interested, call! 1008 M, 36, ISO F WHO LOVES TO BE ROMANTIC and receive lots of affection, and give as well. Be open to cuddling and whatever happens next. 9934______

LONG DISTANCE RUNNER, NS MIDDLE aged, 5'9", 158, loves hiking, camping, acoustic guitar, drawing, nature, photog raphy, writing, sense of humor, camping, dancing and biking. I'm caring, kind and loving. Hope to meet caring loving F for LTR. 9922 SWM, 57, ISO COMPANIONABLE F, 21+, can be plain, no diseases or drugs, no politically correct fools, self-financed, trusting enough to be a traditional F. For talks, camping trips. 9919 CUTE NATURE GUY NEEDS SOULMATE SWM, 34, interests include outdoors, cook ing, gardening, reading, writing, history. I am honest, witty, creative, spiritual, romantic. ISO SF, 24-38, slim, pretty, very outgoing, compassionate, has a deep love for nature and a variety of passions. Friends, possible LTR. Interested? Send a reply! 9918 SWPM, MID 50s, SENSITIVE, HONEST educated, solvent, casual, dry wit, sensu al, spontaneous, exploring, alive. Enjoys fitness, walking, working out, reading, cooking, small boats, gardening, coffee in the morning, enjoying life. ISO relation ship w/like-minded F, 30s-50s. 9917 SWM, 50, 5'8", 165, FINANCIALLY SECURE emotionally grounded. Affectionate, sensi tive, physically active, eclectic, complex but not complicated. ISO SF, secure, pas sionate about living, outdoors, dinners, discussions and cultural pursuits. Laughs, intimacy, w itty: the more the better. 9916 TRAVELMATE DESIRED FOR RELATIONSHIP and adventure partner. DWM, youthful 52, 5'9", 150, in good shape, reasonably appealing and fun to be with. ISO openminded F, for laughing, extensive travel, Burlington area, fun and whatever it takes for a shared relationship. 9914 FEMME MOST FAIR, SENSITIVE, SPIRITUAL intuitive, joyous, sensual and aesthetic, where art thou? Doest thou enjoy Bach, Mozart, the OUD and Bazooki. Be ye a lover of water, travel, cooking, walks and talks. ISO WPF, NS, 55+, Anglican? 9913

DM, 41, EUROPEAN, ISO F, 33-41 ND, NS, likes movies, sitting home, cuddling, public affection, reading, talking and kids. Need someone to spoil. 9931 SKIER WANTED FOR MIDWEEK RUNS PWM who works weekends seeks female skier, 24-42, to make turns with. Maybe more. 9929

m en > w o m e n continued on page 1 8b

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m en > w o m e n continued SWM, 24, HONEST, CARING, CHARMING outgoing punk, sometimes shy, NS. Loves dancing, has learning challenges. ISO SWF, 19-28, honest, funny, flirty, roman tic, NS, drink occasionally, like movies, basketball, music, bike riding. 9912_____ SM, BLONDE, TALL, WORKOUT FRIEND, climbing partner, traveling, artistic/ graphic designer, hardworking, flings and other things. ISO F w/dark hair who wants to be cared for with conversation. Keep the coffee hot. 9836 YOU AND I ARE EXTRAORDINARY, HIGHLY desirable and exceptionally: fit, healthy, sensual, smart, fun, adventurous, passion ate, and caring. We have sophistication and integrity. We're interested in the arts, nature and spirituality. And yet, we find ourselves scrounging in the personals? We simply must find each other. 30s-40s. 6'3", 200. 9832________________________ DWM, 41, 5'6", 160. ISO SF, 28-47, slim. I t has been 12 years, she took it all, but I've a lot of love left to give. Want to have fun? Contact me, you won't be sorry. 9814 SWPM, 27, BOUNDS ON SNOWSHOES and sizzles in the kitchen. Stands 5'9" w/a sleek 155 lbs. ISO active, indepen dent and intelligent SPF for good times and great memories. Candy-tovers enjoy homemade treats. 9813 ; , / V . _____ LET ME SPOIL YOU. GOOD LOOKING, passionate SPM, early 40s, w/youthful enthusiasm. ISO a sexy, kind, honest woman who knows how to ertjoy life and the many adventures i t offers. 9809 RESONANT, HARMONIOUS, CURIOUS physically active, musical,/healthy, sparkle eyed, NS, SWM, 42., ISO LTR near Burlington. However, f f you would like to simply spice up your social circle w/a safe, fun, well-traveled; interesting person, feel free to call. 9807 ORIGINAL VT TEDDY BEAR, PM, 30. DO you have days or weekends free? Looking for friends to plow through the winter and dive into spring. I enjoy snowshoeing, kayaking, fly fishing, camping, nffivies and good conversation. 9804 BURLINGTON AREA BACHELOR ISO SWPF, late 30s to early 40s, for LTR. I am hard working, intelligent (most of the time), home hobbyist and good conversational ist. I like to travel, cook and socialize. Let's start the new year off together. 9801 GREAT BALLS OF FIRE! ALL-AROUND good guy, easy and outgoing-, smart, career-oriented, adventurous.and funny in an offbeat kind of way. Tall, f it and rugged, ISO F kindred spirit, 29-39, for fun, romance and domestic bliss. 9795 DWM, 28, FIT, HANDSOME LOYAL, KIND, fiarny, intelligent, sensitive, interesting, good father of incredible 4 yo. ISO fit, pretty, loyal, kind, intelligent, interest ing, NS/ND F for dinner, drinks, Red Sox, hikes and snowshoes. 9792 / :

SWM, 32, ARTIST, GOOD SENSE OF humor, bad chess player, avid movie-goer. Into good conversation, books, outdoor activities, loud and not so loud music, relaxed atmospheres and fun and funnier people. You? 9783

ECLECTIC ARTIST ISO AN INTERESTING, intelligent, creative, spiritual,.indepen dent F that likes deep conversation, mak ing a difference and skinny dipping. Me: PWF, 26, athletic, who likes ju st about anything. 1105

WIDOWER, 60, ATTRACTIVE, FIT WELL educated, well travelled. An INFP com fortable w / both Dionysus and Apollo. I'm open-minded, curious, looking for what ever. 9781

NSF ISO LTR WITH WOMAN, 40-50, WHO is as intelligent, well rounded, learned, physically/emotionally fit, informed, trav eled, philosophic, spiritual, passionate, romantic, musical, nature loving, creative, humble, adventurous, playful, tender and intense as I am! Monogamously oriented only! 1041

WILD OUTDOORS MAN, 37 ISO F FOR winter adventures. A hunting and fishing license is required for this position, . which pays well. The fringe benefits are too numerable to mention. 9773 AGE IS ONLY A NUMBER 60+ ACTIVE, great health. Enjoy tennis, skiing, sailing, hiking, biking. Educated, sensitive, polite, sense of humor. All original parts and they continue to function. ISO SPF, who arrived prior to 1950, to share life's experiences. 9770 : SWM, 40s, NS ISO SLENDER OR PETITE* unattached F, NS, 35-50. We all seem to like the same stu ff and we all claim to be romantic, so let's talk and see if there is intrigue. It's all about the chem istry. 9760 HERE'S THE DEAL. I'M IN MY LATE 50s, 5'10'', 190. I've been alone for 2 years, looking to reestablish a relationship. All responses answered. 9756 SWM, 26, LONG HAIR, ATTRACTIVE athletic build. Music and snow are ju st about my only interests this time of year. Join me for dinner some night, then maybe later we can snowshoe in moose country. 9751 ’i£ NE FRANKLIN CO., BACK TO THE LAND. This SWM, 54, wants'fhe simple life. : Gardens, fru it trees, chickens and organic living. 5'11", fair paired and physically fit. ISO woman who loves canoes, snowshoes and wilderness camping. Let's drop off the end together. 9750 SWM, 51, NS/ND. BOOKS, HIKING, snowshoeing, ridge walking, greens, whites, weight lifting, nature, tracking, birds, bears, moose, trees and gardens. ISO F of child bearing age. We w ill spend our evenings snuggling and reading to each other. 9747 „ INTELLIGENT, GENUINE, FUNNY EASYgoing, music loving, SM, 29, ISO F, 2329, NS/ND, w/similar qualities for dating or possible LTR. 9746

w om en > w om en SWEET, DOWN TO EARTH AND SEXY femme, 28, seeks handsome, tender butch, 27-37. I am curvy and fit, soft in all the right places and am craving some butch arms to hold me. 1219 LOOKING FOR SPECIAL JEWEL TO CHERish and admire. ISO GWF, 34-42, on the femme side, self-assured, communicative, ready for a relationship that's fun, inspir ing, deep and meaningful. NS/ND. I know you're out there, so sparkle and reveal yourself. 1198

GWF, 51, INDEPENDENT, SELF-SUFFICIENT, honest, loyal, intelligent, well educated, socially conscious loves family, friends, the outdoors, animals, movies, reading and much more! Seeking healthy, happy, emotionally mature, self-sufficent woman with a good sense of humor. Serious replies only. 1038 SWP BIF, 40s, 5'9", PLUS SIZE, LIKE TO walk on the beach, read, garden, spend time w/pets and family. ISO F to spend adult time with. Clean, ND, age and size unimportant. 1014 ISO NS SOUL SISTER, 25-50 FRIENDS first, maybe LTR. Me: double Scorpio, pre op WTS/lesbian witch, new to Montpelier area, 45, but younger looking and at heart. Compassionate, sensitive, spiritual, creative, loves cooking, nature, sense of humor, WGDR fan. Let's talk! 9800 ISO CUTIE TO PASS THE TIME W/ME: 20, tall, soft butch, athletic, intelligent and very kindhearted. You: athletic, femme or butch, sweet and romantic. LTR maybe. No crazy lesbian drama, please! 9749

m en > m en YOUNG GWM SEEKS GUYS 18-30. Queens and queers need not apply, mas culine guys only. Be under 30 and fit. . Friends, flings, more? 1113 NOTHING CAN PARALLEL A BLIND DATE on Valentine's Day 2004, but of course. Because we all have the affinity for shar ing good company as is. Amidst the groovy hearts and boxes of chocolates you'll receive in the spirit of the occa sion, won't you be my valentine - and be gay? True in fact, for me as gay man in celebration thereof! 1096 SWM ISO MAM, BURL. AREA LOOKING for that little extra that you can't get at home? Age, race unimportant, cleanliness and discretion is. Give me a call, you won't regret it. 9927 GWM, LATE 40s, 5'7", ISO NEW FRIENDS and maybe more. Honesty, caring, no drugs, straight acting and more. Hope you are out there! 9921 WM ISO BM FOR ORAL ONLY, IN BURLINGton area, BM only need to reply. 9777 GWM, 50s, ISO STRAIGHT M, 18-30 BI ok, any race, who enjoys receiving oral. You: clean, very discreet, smoking and drinking ok. Travel Montpelier, Stowe, Enosburg, JSC student very welcome. Name, phone, time to call back, same day reply. 9762

bi s e e k i n g ? FIT, ATTRACTIVE HOTTIE, MID-30s AVERage height and athletic build. Burl. area. Looking for hot, sweaty fun with BI, BIcurious or GMs, 25-45, for one time or regular hookups. Into safe, discreet sex with all types. 1133 SWBIM ISO OTHER M FOR HOT PASSIONate phone or real hookups. All ads answered. Please be 18-45. 1016 SWPM, BI, LATE 30s, SINCERE THOUGHTful, physically fit, healthy lifestyle, near to Burlington. Seeks woman who is simi lar, height and weight proportionate and ISO LTR with the right person. 9936 ARE YOU TIRED OF A DULL SEX LIFE? Unfulfilled, feeling unwanted, unimpontant. We are going to create a fun Friday sex night. The goal is excitement, good communication, a feeling of importance, with a balance of S M/F/CU. 9923 HOT BIM, 39, ISO CU OR JUST ONE BI/GM. I'm top or bottom, 5'11", 150. Willing to be in pictures for a photogra pher. I f you have an ad, leave box num ber. Let's please each other. 9754

just friends FRIENDLY, EXUBERANT DOG IS LOOKING for a pal to romp around with, wrestle and chase. Loves frisbees, balls and long walks in the woods. Her owner, F, 27, is also seeking a"ri exercise partner: jogging, hiking, walking, gym. 1211 DO YOU LIKE ijRftlKING BEER, NONcompetitive exercise, making new friends, having a good tfiile? Then join the Burlington Hash House Harriers! There are no rules except-.you must be 2.1 and n o t be politically correct. 1206 COLLEGE EDUCATED F, 23, SEEKS FRIENDS in the Rutland area. Interests include ^ reading and creating all types of art. Looking for grounded people, M/F, 20-26, who enjoy good times and interesting conversations. 1129 EVERYONE IS LOOKING FOR LTR, LOVE, the perfect match. Good luck! I'm ISO a lady friend. With friendship, anything is possible. Without it, nothing. Be honest, open and sincere. No games, please. Me: young 55, DWM. Confident, happy, waiting. 1 1 1 2 _________ _____________ LIKE TO HELP THE NEEDY IN YOUR COMmunity? Single and looking for a new way to meet other singles? Want to begin a singles volunteer group and lend a hand while meeting other singles in the area. Anyone interested? 1022 LOOKING TO HOOK UP WITH OTHER HIKers, bikers, joggers, dog owners, for noncompetitive exercise and compadre. 1013 NEED NO REPLY, JUST STOP BY WHERE the S. Burlington mall buildings are blue. I w ill meet you. Think music. M, 60, ISO SF NS for friendship. Let's visit. 1002

SEVEN DAYS

•

. /.

•

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febm ary 04-11, 2004 I

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MACU ISO BM FOR WEEKEND ENJOY-

ment. He likes i t big and hard. I want to watch you do it. Must be very clean and discreet. 9759

PERSONAL OF THE WEEK

w o m e n seeking. MAPF, VERY BI-CURIOUS, ISO BEAUTIFUL

well endowed woman for incredible encounter. Come with me and my husband to Montreal and help me be liberated. Be with me alone, or whatever. 1028 F, 2 3 , ISO BI-CURIOUS F, 2 1 - 2 5 TO

ME: YOUTHFUL, 44 , 5' 3 ", 140 , GERMAN. He: frie n d ly , lo ya l, respectable, na ture and a n im a l lo v in g , fo r lo n g -te rm . Prefer farm er w ith horses, love W e ste rn -rid in g . Photo

experiment with. I'd love to mess around and my husband would love to watch or jo in in. 9791

guarantees reply. 1218

m en seeking...

Personal of the week receives the following via mail within one week:

LONELY MALE LOOKING FOR PLAYMATES.

Race and age not important. N/S, D/D free and enjoy some good, hot, relaxing sex together. Looking for someone to take my virginity away. Looking for a person that likes to kiss and cuddle. 1222 LOOKING FOR DISCREET ENCOUNTERS.

Easygoing and fun guy. No head games or diseases please. 1204 A LEAN AND SMOOTH GENTLEMAN IN HIS

30s, is hunting for a couple of superendowed guys with bubble buns for some rear winter sports. Fine dining and music can always be included in our feast of lux uriant passion and pleasure. 1197

couples seeking... CU ISO SF FOR ADULT FUN. UNINHIBITED

sensual, creative play. Him: 5'11", 180, dark hair, green eyes, muscular build ar very sexy. Hen 5'4", 120, eyes, petite and eager to please. Age, and weight not important. 1127 EASY GOING AND FUN, PARTNERED GCU

in Burlington area, in our mid 40s, seek ing other couples interested in home, gar den, movies, travel and ju st making good friends. 1125 PMACU, JAPANESE AND CAUCASIAN, NS,

ND, 36 YO ISO first BIMF eXXXperience. Desire clean, attractive, height/weight pro portional CU under 40 YO. No strings. 1045 MAPCU, ISO WOMAN TO BE SATISFIED?

We want to give you the world! Let us touch you and make you squirm. Just for fun, we want a rendezvous. Spice i t up for the new year. 1031 CU ISO M, 3 0 - 4 5 , FOR FRIENDSHIP AND

possibly more. He's 42 and straight. I'm 32, blue eyes, blonde hair, medium build. 1005 WCU, ME: WBIF, PREGNANT RED/GREEN,

5'7", 134. Him: straight WM, brown/ hazel, 5'9", 145, sexy and firm. ISO WBIF for fun.

SWM ISO CU FOR ADULT FUN CLEAN AND

discreet, 50s. 1193 BIM , 4 0s , 6 ', 1 6 0 , SUPER T H IN , IN SHAPE

biker craves French experts, extended ses sions. You: very oral, up for hours, talented hungry. 1191 ,, ,, jh ATHLETIC, DISCREET GENTLEMAN, 2 4

seeks sexual enlightenment from attractive, mature women. Serious inquiries only. 1136 CUM AND GET IT !! SWM, 2 8 , 6 ' BRN /B L,

ISO F or CU. Open to age (18+), race, size, etc. I am looking for fun and good times. No strings attached, none expected. Living outside of Burlington, but travel is not an issue. 1118

A $25 gift certificate to:

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a im •

ATTRACTIVE W M , VERY WELL HUNG AND

DUDES WANTED WHO ARE INTO VOYEUR-

ism and exhibitionism. I f you like to show it all, give me a call! 9789

ISO LF TO HELP ME W ITH MY SPANISH IN

return, I am sure that I can help you with your English, or whatever you need. 1017

experience you've only read or heard about? WM, 40s, willing to help get you there. 9776

M, 4 2 , ORAL SUB W /IN SATIA BLE

JACUZZI TUB, WOOD BURNING FIREPLACE,

appetite. Looking to give long lasting oral sessions. No reciprocation necessary 1009

culinary creations and fine wines. Handsome, healthy, easygoing, youthful, 5'11", 175 lbs., 40ish, SWM seeking 25-45 YO, slender female for friendship and sexu al adventures. All responses answered. Let's talk. 9769

GWM, 3 3 , 6 '4 " , 2 4 0 , ISO GUYS 1 8 - 2 5 ,

for no-strings fen. The smoother-bodied the better, not Into hairy chests. Would like the right young dude to top me, but bottoms welcome as well. 9930 ARE YOU COMFORTABLE WEARING JUST

a smile? SWM, 53, 6'1", 180, blonde/blue. ISO SF who enjoys the sensually erotic, exhibitionism, massage, toys. Honest, car ing, drug/alcohol free. Possible LTR, Burlington area. 9925 FLYING SOLO? W HY GO IT ALONE? TH IN K

outside the box. Be the first on your block to jo in the new adult, coed solo group for women and men, couples and single, in a safe, friendly and supportive environment. 9915

PRINCE CHARMING ISO VALENTINE'S DAY

M, 6 0 + , ISO FRIEND(S) W IT H IN 4 0 MILES

SF Princess, 18-35. Looking for love, sexual pleasures in the bedroom. I w ill supply you physical pleasure all night long. I am also a great lover of passionate women. 1102

of Burlington for dinners in/out, conversa tion, day trips. Interests: ait, music, theatre, Montreal Must have own transport. Great sex if chemistry works. Platonic okay too. 9911

GM ISO SAME. I WANT SOMEONE TO FUCK

TH IS IS YOU: SF, 2 0 - 3 0 BUT LOOKING

me all night and I 'll do anything you want. Age/race unimportant. 1101

18-25, slim, small nose, stunning, hippy, quite the intellect, know what you want in life. This is me, on top of you: 31, but looking 25, single dad, Montpelier area. Any questions? 9837

I AM LOOKING TO MEET A GM I AM A

He will ju st watch unless you would like otherwise. Serious responses only, drug free. Prefer WBIF or W, curious F. 9932

bottom, 6', 227 lbs. ISO a top M from Bristol, Hinesburg, Middlebury. I live alone during the week. 1099 v-

YOUNG CU ISO YOUNG F TO HAVE FUN

WANTED: ATTRACTIVE, FIT, B I OR B I

with, maybe even have a friendship. We are into just about anything and want to try new things. Please contact i f interested. 9763

curious F, 35-48? DWM, clean, safe, discreet, seeks partner for adult get togethers. No com mitments, just good clean adult fen. Help me make your (our) fantasies a reality! 1098

■The O utdoor G ear E x c h a r^

in very good shape looking to have very good times in whatever suits your needs. 1034

smooth, discreet. ISO friends, maybe more. 25-45, M, straight, or BI is a plus, no femme, no over-weighted, must be top and in shape. Chittenden county only. 1111

AM ISO M. ME: 3 0 , 5 7 " , 1 4 0 BLK/BRN,

A cool water bottle and a map from:

NOT GETTING EVERYTHING YOU NEED/

want at home? Handsome, in-shape, 100% safe WM, 42, in Burlington. ISO mature woman for discreet sex. Very oral. I w ill give you the physical pleasure you are looking for. Just between us. 9803

ARE YOU A MATURE F, ISO A TOTAL SEXUAL

SOMEONE SPECIAL, GWM, 4 8 5 '9 " , 1 7 5 ,

ISO GWM, 21+ for friendship, sex and more. You: slim, smooth, needing best friend/lover. Me: loving, understanding, humorous, finan cially secure w/home. ND/NA. 9768 WOULD LOVE GRATIFYING AUB U RN /R ED -

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WE MET AT A PARTY AND YOU TOLD ME your birthday was coming up soon. Maybe we'll meet again? Happy Birthday! 1200 TO THE CUTE BOY WEARING A GRAY Planet Earth jacket. I'll send you to the moon, baby! Your way yummier than the groceries you buy. Come through my line at the Co-op again. I'd love to "check you out." 1189 YOU'RE LEAVING IN YOUR ORANGE KNIT hat and green scarf. You look great, you always do. I spy an unexpected smile on your face as I wave good-bye from my morning window. Let's have dessert and champagne in NY. 1188

sp y 1/24, FLYNN CONCERT. G IN ROW G. YES, the bass violins were so cool. Sorry you had to leave early. You left me wondering. 1225 1/22, TALL GUY LEAVING THE CO-OP WITH an armload of empty boxes as I was head ed in for same. Chatted about moving, scoring free boxes, I liked your smile. I f you aren't moving far, coffee now that we are settled? 1221 LEMMING LADY SEEKS GOAT BOY. LAST I knew, you were on a sheep farm in NZ. Now I've seen your creations on section B. Still as good with science as you are with paint? Come beetle hunting with me. 1220 RED SQUARE 1.23.04. YOU, 30ISH, brunette eyes that made me tingle and knocked my sox off. You introduced your self to me, said I took your picture years ago during a meal. Too late to still sit down for dinner? 1217 THREE N£EDS 1.23.04, COULDN'T QUITE hear your name. You thought I was your yoga teacher from earlier, but sadly, I was n't. Does that mean we couldn't still take a class together sometime? Or dinner? 1216 I SPY A BROWN EYED MAN SHOOTING 100s of baskets at Twin Oaks, 01/24. I was the one trying to keep the little boy out from under your feet. Single? Interested in a replay? 1213 I SPY A SEXY GUY, LEXUS SUV SAW YOU on RT. 7, traveled together un til 89 south. You have sexy eyes. Let's talk! 1212 PURE POP, SUNDAY 1/25. YOU: DEEP voiced guy, pony tail, heading for an afternoon with Pink Floyd and The Wall. Rang up side by side at $29.64. I'm on Thin Ice here, but envisioning The Happiest Days by lava light. 1210

TO THE TEACHER ON SCHOOL ST.: ON A warm Saturday morning, you strolled home from the library. My surprising "hello" brought out your bright smile. Will you jo in me for a hot drink so that we can exchange camping tales? 1138 BARRACA, 1/10/04. YOU WERE FAMILIAR with my two favorite trees in VT and I was impressed with your film . I'd like to chat more sometime. Tea? 1134 1/13/04 BORDERS. YOU: WORKING IN Music asked if I needed help, with a big smile. Me: big eyes, brown hair, with girl who inquired about rap. I saw you again days later still smiling. I'd like to know you. 1131 MUDDY WATERS, SAT 1/17, IN THE evening. Young woman dressed in black w/long thin dreadlocks, sitting at the end of the bar reading. You're radiant. 1126 I SPY A BIG MOUNTAIN RIDER WHO LIKES to h it the freshies. you could ride on my mountain any day. I wish I could look as hot as you do on your board. Let's meet at the round table sometime! 1123 1/15, I WAS ON A FIRST DATE. YOU: WITH two friends, sat at next table beside my date. Your above shoulder brown hair, pretty smile, soft eyes made it difficu lt to stay focused. You too? Name restaurant if it's you. 1122 YOU: BLONDE HAIR, BLUE EYES, Infectious smile and silver pearls. Drive a red Xterra with cute dog. I think he was a Yorkie. I often park next to you. Fancy a Stella? 1121 ROUTE 15, I SPY YOU EVERY MORNING. You: in green Audi heading opposite direc tion. We make eye contact but yours often look sad. Would love to make those eyes dance again. Care to take a chance? 1120

FRI, 1/23, MONTREAL. LIN KIN PARK, WE talked, you laughed, but your friend kept pulling you away. Me: snowboarder. You: river watch. Contact me if you want to continue the conversation! 1209

I SPY A GREEN-EYED ITALIAN GODDESS on a stairway in Noho drinking vodka, stealing the show from Melissa. Your arms around my knees during Drive and holy cow. Won't you be my Yankee fan for awhile and what not? 1114

A SAT. EVE IN LATE JANUARY YOU: LONG, dark hair, cool red Metronome bouncer shirt. Me: short hair, yellow dress, jeans. 70s/80s night dancing. Are you single? Curious? Looking for a change? 1201

SHELBURNE IGA, SUN 1/11, NOON You: buying Bert's Bee's for baby shower. I had the gourmet pizza and dark chocolate. Loved our chat and your joie d' vivre! Care to share a glass of wine? 1109

BUMPED INTO YOU IN THE HALL AT THE Shed on 1/10. You: sexy, dark haired guy w/goatee. Me: petite blonde looking at barglasses. Our eyes met and I fe lt sparks! I'd like to explore more. 1106 BELLY OF THE WORLD. ME: MYSTERIOUS "gothic" woman who was shining like a star. Why? Because I am crazy for you. Long brown hair, pulled back in a ponytail and eyes to hypnotize my heart. Let's kiss! 1097 CAROLINA BLUE ROB AT AKE'S. THANKS for the conversation Wednesday p.m. Your story inspired me. No pity, simply envy for your optimism and independence. Wish I could have stayed longer and learned more about you, but my workday started too early. Maybe next time? 1046 ERIC: WE MET IN MALLETS. YOU IN YOUR kayak, me with an injured knee. Ran into you again at the "Nome on NYE." Knee good, but not enough time to talk. Up for a walk, now that I can? 1037

SAW YOU AT BARNES AND NOBLE, 12/28 You: reading PhotoShoof. Me: sitting across from you w/my daughter. Our eyes met. Would love for them to meet again. Me: silver Beetle, NY plates. You: blue Acura, Cornell sticker. 9834 HUNGER MTN. COOP, 12/17 RED VW, green quilted down coat, black shoes, big ass heel. Checked out at the checkout. I f you know her, te ll her I need her. 9816 CHRISTMAS DAY, MONTPELIER OUR DOGS met after you were leaving Hubbard Park. Your huskie and my "short Lassie" got along quite well. Me: ta ll man w/blue jacket wishing to say hello again over cof fee. 9815 BORDERS, 12/26, LONG GLANCE SMILES exchanged. You: looking for DVDs. Me: thinking about food. Want to get some dinner? 9806

OKAY, ARIES-PISCES, I GET IT YOU ARE an angel. Thanks for the weekend of love and quarter tricks. See you on the road again one day. Mr. Squirrel 1027

RED ROCKS, 12/21, SOLSTICE SUNDAY 10 a.m. You were climbing up, I was barreling down. Was sorry for almost skiing into you, then wished you hadn't dodged! Want to get our dogs and skis together on the same track? 9805

STARWASH AT THE END OF DEC BETWEEN cell phone calls to Gramp about tortillas and hemming skirts. You smiled at me, flirted? Would you and your daughter care to jo in me at Capital Grounds for hot chocolate? 1018

CLANCY'S, BILLY IDOL, ROSES IN REFRIGERators and Nagel. I have thought of you often and wonder where you are. Your in i tials are ETS and once you were my Valentine. I f you remember me, I'd love to hear from you. 9802

PASHA, RUMORS PUT YOU IN RUTLAND I'd like to hear from you, if you are around. Be good. 1006

12/19, UNCOMMON GROUNDS YOU: bearded w/a gray wool hat, exuding a mel low sweetness. Me: green sweater, sipping tea w/friend at next table. You smiled warmly: I fe lt much too shy to talk to you. Signed, Intrigued Over Tea. 9799

NEW YEAR'S EVE, CHOW BELLA YOU: beautiful blonde, in glasses, miniskirt, high boots. Me: short hair, white shirt, khakis. I wanted to take you into the rest roorp to welcome the new year in with a bang. Call me. 9943 NATL GUARD X-MAS PARTY. YOU BRAD beautiful, former Marine from Colchester. We met at Franny's, it was special. Please give me the chance to apologize before you go back to Iraq. I need to see you, I care. Your blonde. 9938 A VERY BEAUTIFUL BLONDE GIRL IN black at the Strangefolk, Rusty Nail show. You were with another girl and a guy. We exchanged several smiles and glances, but you left at the break. Single? Interested? Dinner? 9935 WE SAID "HI" AT UNCOMMON GROUNDS Jan. 2, 4 pm. You: curly brown hair, tall, alluring. Me: short redhead, blue eyes. I f the woman you were with is not your g irl friend, want to see if we have anything in common? 9928 I SPY MY NEW YEAR'S CRUSH FIRST OUTside in Metronome line, then inside bump ing and grinding. Liked the secret booty grabs but it was such a tease. Is she your girlfriend? Wish you could have been my midnight kiss. 9835

A m e r ic a n R e d

12/5, IDX PARTY. I LIKED YOUR SWEATER, you liked my drips. Sorry for the awkward adios. 9798 I SPY A CUTE, WEEKEND NEWS ANCHOR/ reporter. We made eye contact the other day. Want to grab a "coffee", meet, chat? 9785 12/12 WOMEN'S OIL WRESTLING ANDY? We crossed paths after I approached your friend, asking your name and trying not to get caught. Later, I saw you waiting in the parking lot. Wanted to say hi but couldn't ditch the friends. 9780 HEY FILMMAKER/WRITER EXTRAORDINAIRE. Guess you thought my story sucked. You could have told me. I like honesty. Oh well. Can't hold it against you, guess I'm a sucker for dark curly hair. You made me buy Astral Weeks. 9779 NECTAR'S, 11/10, YOU: SEXY BASS FOR the perfect sandwich. Me: girl who can't keep her eyes off of you. You're obviously good w/your hands! Let's orchestrate and make beautiful music together! 9774 WE SPY AT RJs, 12/10, A HOT FIREMAN and a sexy engineer. We were the two blondes enjoying your company. How about a double date? 9761

Cross > M e n t i n e s

B ^ °°^ D r i V e

Saturday, February 14, 8:30 a.m. - noon 32 N. Prospect St., Burlington Live music by Edges of Europe, sweet treats by Neci, free mini-massages, raffles for a “Country Loving” bear from Vermont Teddy Bear Co. and a dozen long-stem roses with delivery on Valentine’s Day from Sally’s Flower Shop plus much more. For info, potential donors may call 658-6400, 1-800-843-3500 or visit www.newenglandblood.org. Walk-ins and appointments welcome.

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38B | february 04-11, 2004 I SEVEN DAYS I wellness@sevendaysvt.com

WELLNESSAAHHHHH FENG SHUI VERMONT: Consultations for homes, business es, schools. Change your surround ings, change your life! Certified Feng Shui Practitioner Carol C. Wheelock, M.Ed. 802-496-2306, cwheelock@fengshuivermont.com, www.fengshuivermont.com.

Holmes, N.D., L.Ac. Graduate of Bostyr University and the Northwest Institute of Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine. Treating acute and chronic illness. Specializing in acupuncture, home opathy and craniosacral technique. Vermont Center for Acupuncture and Holistic Healing, 257 Pine St., Burlington. 864-7778.

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bodywork proven to be a powerful therapy for stress, tension and the prevention and treatment of dis ease. Treats stress, strains, sprains, stiff neck, shoulder and back pain. The Vermont Center for Acupuncture and Holistic Healing, 257 Pine St., Burlington, 864-7778. BLISSFUL HEALING by Molly Segelin. Certified Massage Therapist who reconnects your mind, body and spirit, while ther apeutically releasing tension and healing pain. Uniting a relaxing Swedish Massage with deep tissue and point pressure to obtain pure bliss. $50/75 mins. Gift certifi cates avaiL Peacefully on Church St. 598-4952. BODYTEK MASSAGE for Swedish/esalen, deep tissue and sports massage. Tune up your body for the coming summer months! $35/hr., $50/90 mins, and sliding scale rates also avail able. Call Jim at 878-3176 or 343-0476. BODYWORK FOR WOMEN: Specializing in both therapeutic and sports massage. Utilizing a combination of Swedish, deeptissue and pressure-point tech niques. Call Eva, 658-2887. CERTIFIED MASSAGE THERA PIST: Soothing relief of stress and tension. Or deep-tissue work for back, neck, shoulder pain. Call Beth at Lovingkindness, 324-7440. Near downtown Burlington.

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in Vermon t’s N ortheast Kingdom

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February 27-29

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call for more information!

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Call for a schedule.

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H AVI NG A BABY?

Oriental Medicine can be effective in treating pain, menopause, asthma, migranes, and more.

Couples Massage (Same-Sex) Friday, Feb. 13, 6:30-9pm, $50/pair Learn massage basics to help you and your partner relax and feel harmony using a variety of techniques. An excellent overview for our advanced Couples Massage Classes.

EXPERIENCE HEALTH and well being on a physical, emotional and spiritual level. Reduce stress and relieve chronic pain. Reiki Master, Jen Kristel, 985-3164.

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interpersonal style. New bereave ment support group forming for partners and spfouses. Safe place to share difficult experiences and loving memories. Wednesday morn ings, 9:30-11 or another time to be determined by group members. Ongoing support group for people over the age of 60 invites two new members. Share your experiences, concerns and wisdom related to growing older. Tuesday afternoons,' 4-5:30. Please call 657-3668 for more information or to schedule an appointment.

• workshops

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wellness@sevendaysvt.com I SEVENDAYS I february 04-11, 2004 I 7Dclassifieds 39B

free will astrology

You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your expanded weekly horoscope 1-900-950-7700. $1.99 per minute. 18 and over. Touchtone phone.

F E B R U A R Y 0 5 -1 1

ARIES (Mar. 21-Apr. 19): W riting in The Week magazine, editor-in-chief Bill Falk reminisced about how earlier in his career he churned out three opinion columns a week for newspapers. It was tough. “The truth is,” he said, “there were many weeks in which I didn’t have three fresh opinions o f any value.” These days, he added, he couldn’t handle a gig like that. As he’s matured, he has become suspicious of his own certainties. “Opinions are highly overrated,” he concludes. “Most concern passing phenomena that, six months or six years from now, become utterly irrelevant.” I propose that we make Falk your patron saint for February, Aries. The astrological omens suggest that this is a perfect moment to enjoy the humility and grace that come from nurturing compassionate ideals instead o f agitated opinions.

TAURUS

(Apr. 20-May 20): You might want to get a history book and read up on the Greek army’s defeat o f the invading Persian forces at M arathon in 470 B.C. W hile you’re at it, look into the ragtag band o f Texan soldiers th at won independence from Mexico at San Jacinto in 1836, or the continental army’s pivotal victory over the British redcoats at Saratoga in 1777. I make these suggestions not because I think you will literally be going into battle, Taurus, but because I believe you’ll soon be moved to defend and even expand your free dom. M editating on history’s successful strug- ■ gles for liberation might inject an inspirational dose of martial energy into your campaign.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20): You’re in a phase o f your yearly cycle when fate will con spire to expand your perspective, get you natural

BY ROB BREZSNY

ly high, and turn you into an explorer. To align yourself with these cosmic tendencies, you might : want to charter a supersonic MiG-25 Foxbat plane to ferry you to the upper edge o f the atmosphere, where you can see the curvature of the Earth. Other good ideas: Sail over Tanzania’s Serenged Plains in a hot-air balloon; paraglide off the sea cliffs at Oahu’s M akapuu Point; or take a class in shamanism at a local yoga center.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “How can one’s heart and brain stand all the things that are crowded into them?” wrote 19th-century composer Robert Schumann. “Where do these thousands of thoughts, wishes, sorrows, joys and hopes come from? Day in, day out, the proces sion goes on.” Sound familiar, Scorpio? If I’m reading the astrological omens correctly, the flood that Schumann described has recendy reached tsunami proportions in you.. You simply can’t go on like this. As the closest thing you have to a soul doctor, I regard it as my duty to prescribe massive doses o f spacious silence. Quiet your thoughts, slow down your pace and drop out of every frenetic game, at least for now.

for satire. So there you have it, Leo. I’ve clari fied the essential views that underlie ^111 do in this horoscope column, and which therefore color the relationship between you and me. Now I challenge you to do what I just did: Get together with the people you care about and articulate th e fundamental assumptions that form the basis o f your connection.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I rarely

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I pre

employ my mediumistic skills, but a host o f spir its was just clamoring to address you this week. So I agreed to channel five o f them, on the con dition that they’d be brief and to the point. Here, then, are your advisors from the other side o f the veil. First, Werner von Braun: “Research is what you do when you don’t know what you’re doing.” Second, AA . Milne: “O ne of the advan tages o f being disorderly is that one is constandy making exciting discoveries.” Next, Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.” Casey Stengel: “You’re lost but you’re making good time.” Harry S. Truman: “If you can’t convince ’em, confuse ’em.”

dict that in 2004 you will become far more dis criminating about what images and informa tion you allow to enter into the holy temple of ' your mind. You may even put up protective barriers that keep out the media’s toxic psychic wastes and your friends’ bad moods. I also pre dict that if you don’t become more discriminat ing, you will lose touch with your own deepest desires and end up trying to be something you’re not. In conclusion, fellow Cancerian, you sure as hell better remember how naturally telepathic you are, and how easily you take on other people’s feelings as if they were your own.

SAGITTARIUS « 2 Dec. 21): Back in the 1980s, an old pal of mine was a girlfriend of Democratic presidential hope ful John Kerry. I’m hoping if he’s elected in November, she’ll arrange for me to get a tryout as his astrological advisor. W ho knows? Maybe he already reads this column. You there, John? Here’s my counsel for you and your fellow Sagittarians. As tempting as it might be to dramatize the dif ferences between you and your competitors, your best bet in the short run is to be an emblem of unity. Don’t let your powerful moral vision get bogged down in detailing what’s wrong. Instead, be passionate about beauty and truth and justice. Strong women are the key to your next success. Ask more from them than ever before. And make sure that in the midst of your noble push to the frontier, you keep nourishing your roots.

LIBR A

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22): After English, astrology is my second language. Like a lan guage, it’s both logical and messy; it’s useful in making sense o f the world, yet full of crazymaking ambiguities. At its best, astrology is a playful study o f the metaphorical link between the hum an psyche and the sun, moon and planets. It’s not a science. It’s an elegant system o f symbols, an art form with a special capacity to feed the soul and educate the imagination. W hen regarded as a precise method for predict ing the future or when used to pander to the ego’s obsessions, it becomes a deserving target

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Any suf ficiently advanced technology is indistinguish able from magic.” So proclaimed science-fiction writer A rthur C. Clarke in his book Profiles o f the Future: An Inquiry into the Limits o f the Possible. To a medieval peasant, for instance, tel evision would have appeared to be pure sorcery. Here’s my corollary to Clarke’s principle, Libra, just in time for your season of wonder and mystery: “Any sufficiently unexpected blessing is indistinguishable from a miracle.”

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan.

W hatever you choose to focus your attention on, you will get more o f it. So for example, if you often think o f everything you lack and how sad you are that you don’t have it, you will tend to receive abundant evidence o f how true that is. If, on the other hand, you dwell on the good things that make you feel grateful to be alive, they will probably multiply. You are a great wizard, Capricorn. W hy not use your powers to practice white magic on your self instead o f the other kind?

AQUARIUS

fjan. 20-Feb. 18): This will be an elephant-weating-a-parachute-as-'SK it-falls-through-the-sky kind of week for you, Aquarius. It’ll be a successfully-shoplifting-a-Bible kind of week, a using-botdes-of-Dom-Perignonchampagne-to-put-out-a-fire kind of week, a rewriting-a-Shakespeare-play-and-selling-it-to-aHollywood-producer kind o f week. “Improbable” should be your nickname. “Prodigious” should be your word of power. If you don’t receive a magic pretzel or a golden booger from a talking raven in your dreams, I’ll be shocked.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-Mar. 20): Red alert! Your behavior is beginning to have an eerie resem blance to the guy who regularly stands on a street comer in Beijing and offers himself up as a punching bag. At least he makes money from it, charging stressed-out jerks about $6 to smack him around for two minutes. But I can’t see any bene fit coming to you for the way you’re letting your self be abused. Please stop this perverse form of entertainment immediately. Find a better strategy for encouraging intimate contact with people.

19): Here’s Big Secret o f Life #27, crucial for your meditations in the coming weeks:

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► o ffic e sp a c e BRISTOL: Newly renovated, bright and sunny office/studio space. 800 sq. ft., central, Main St. location. Avail, now. Call Louise for appt., 802-453-5841. BURLINGTON: Main Street Landing Company has lovely waterfront space available to rent. Visit www.mainstreetlanding.com and click on "space available." Interested? Call Melinda at 802-864-7999. BURLINGTON: Small office avail, in pvt. practice psychotherapy office for massage/bodywork/psychotherapy. Near downtown Burlington. Pvt. parking, handicapped accessible. Rent incl. all amenities. Maple Street Associates. Leave msg., 862-1509 or 862-7420. HINESBURG: 350-1000 sq. ft. ground level office w/pvt. entrance now avail. Free parking, HC access, DSL wired. Great location in Main Street historic building. Call now, 482-3040. BURLINGTON Downtown, sunny 1-bedroom. Avail, now. $725/mo. South End: Quiet studio w/parking, $595/mo. + utils. Owner occupied duplex w/3 spacious bedrooms, dining room, hdwd, yard. $1199/mo. + utils. Negotiable. RED E. Rentals, 860-4641. BURLINGTON: Downtown triplex, brand new 2-bedroom, 2.5-bath condos w /fu ll base ment, W/D hookups. $1300/mo. 5/1 or 6/1 occupancy w/oneyear lease req. Walk-in service located at 138 Church St., RED E. Rentals, 860-4641. BURLINGTON: Fabulous Hill Section 1-bedroom apt. Older neighborhood. Pvt. porch, car port, wall-to-wall carpet. Gas heat, laundry hookups. Walk to hospital. Sunny and bright. Avail. 2/5. $850/mo. + utils. 310-4205. BURLINGTON: Freshly painted 3bedroom apt. W/D, storage. Avail now through June and/or oneyear 6/04-6/05 lease. $1200/mo. + utils. Call 324-3500. BURLINGTON: Hill Section. Large 1- bedroom apt. Quiet. Inclv.heat. Avail. 2/1. $800/mo. + elec. + dep. 658-1271 or 363-3385. BURLINGTON: Large 2-bedroom, gas heat, new paint, storage, laundry, yard, off-street parking. Lakeview Terrace. Avail.'midFebruary. $800/mo. Credit check, refs. req. 802-425-4549, liamL5inc@hotmail.com BURLINGTON: Maple St. Bright and clean 1-bedroom or small 2- bedroom, $625-695/mo. + utils. Park St. modern 2-bedroom, 1.5-bath condo, $1100/ mo. + utils. Avail, now. RED E Rentals office located at 138 Church St. 860-4641. BURLINGTON: Near downtown/ South End. 3-bedroom, 2-bath. Huge. 1100 sq. ft. Parking, quiet, gas heat, W/D. Avail. 3/1. $1350/ mo. 860-1443 or 355-1841. BURLINGTON: Near UVM. Upper North St. Quaint 2-bedroom. W/D (not coin), DW, parking. Avail. 6/1. $900/mo., incl. all. Call Chris, 859-3377. BURLINGTON: New North End, modern, large 2-bedroom. $850/mo., heated. Midtown, 4bedroom, $1600/mo. S. End, modern 2-bedroom, fully applianced. $1250/mo., heated. Avail, now. RED E Rentals office located at 138 Church St. 860-4641. BURLINGTON: New studio apt. in quiet New North End. Vaulted ceilings, hdwd. Bright, clean, mtn. views. No smoking/pets. $750/mo., incl. utils/parking. 863-5491. BURLINGTON: Newly renovated, large 4-bedroom, 1-bath apt. 196 Pine St. Some off-street parking. W/D hookups, ceramic tile, hdwd. Close to downtown/ lake. Pets neg. Avail, now. $1300/mo. + utils. 864-8314. BURLINGTON: Northshore condo for rent. 2-bedroom, 2-bath, cathedral ceilings, fireplace, jacuzzi, garage, end unit. Avail, now. $1500/mo. Coburn and Feeley, 864-5200 x 229. BURLINGTON: Riverside Ave. 2bedroom, heat/HW incl. Parking. Older building. On busline. River access. Neat. No smoking. No pets a plus. Avail. 3/1. $725/ mo. 862-0733.

BURLINGTON: Spacious 2-bedroom, fu ll bath, off-street park- . ing. Pets OK. Avail. 3/1, possibly sooner. Refs, and dep. req. $850/ mo., incl. heat/HW. 860-1576 or 863-9612. BURLINGTON: Sunny 2-bedroom apt. Close to downtown/hospital/ UVM. Off-street parking. No pets/ smoking. Avail, now. $825/mo., incl. heat/HW. 863-6070, leave msg. BURLINGTON: Terrific 2-bed room, clean, warm and efficient. Off-street parking, walk to downtown. Perennial/herb gar den. Avail, immed. $850/mo. + utils. 734-0778. BURLINGTON: Two-story, 2 bed room condo in the New North End. Garage, W/D, low utils, nice space. No dogs/smoking. Avail, now. $1050/mo. Refs. 434-8548. BURLINGTON: Very small, clean and modern 1-bedroom. 380-382 North Ave. Gas heat, parking, coin-op laundry, garden area. Electric incl. $630/mo. + heat. 324-6593. BURLINGTON Walk to downtown,; 3-bedroom house. Fresh and clean, eat-in kitchen, skylights, yard, parking. Avail Feb. $1100/ mo. + utils. Walk-in service locat ed at 138 Church St. RED E. Rentals, 860-4641. CHARLOTTE: Duplex, clean 2bedroom, W/D hookups, garden, views. $850/mo. Call 425-3451. CHARLOTTE: Sunny 3-bedroom apt. Newly renovated. Large bed rooms. Huge yard w/garden space and pond. Covered porch, hiking trails, 20 mins, to Burlington. Gas fireplace. No smoking. Indoor cat OK. $1000/mo. 425-3779. CHITTENDEN COUNTY RENTALS: We have 1, 2, 3-bedroom: apart ments, condos, lakefront and sin gle-family homes and pet-friendly rentals, www.hickokandboardman .com/rentals.html, 846-9568. COLCHESTER: Immaculate 2bedroom. Efficient gas heat. W/D and carport. Mins, to Burlington and Essex Jet. $1100/mo. Jackie Marino, Remax North Professionals, 655-3377 x 23. ESSEX JCT.: 164 Colchester Rd. 2-bedroom townhouse, 1-bath, finished basement, W/D hookups, carport and gas heat. Avail, now. $1100/mo. Coburn and feeley, 864-5200 ext. 229. ESSEX JCT.: 2-bedroom, 1-bath. No pets per assoc, rules. Tenant pays heat/electric. Avail, now. $950/mo. Kristina, 846-9572. ESSEX JCT.: 51B Main St. 1bedroom, 1-bath, off-street parking. Pets welcome. Avail, now. $665/mo. Coburn and Feeley, 864-5200 ext. 237. ESSEX JCT.: Comfortable 2-bed room condo w/1.5-bath, carport, extra parking. Incl. five appli ances. Pool, tennis. Near Five Corners, shopping plazas, Essex Community Ctr. Great neighbor hood. Avail, now. $1200/mo. + utils. 802-879-8849 or 324-4551. ESSEX JCT: Newly renovated 2bedroom, 1.5-bath townhouse in desirable neighborhood. Bright/ sunny, hdwd throughout, finished basement, patio off living room, off-street parking, snow/trash removal, DW, microwave, W/D, walk to town/pool/park! $1150/mo. 0B0. Call Jim at 2727633 for info/showings.

S. BURLINGTON: 1272 sq. ft. office suite. Avail, now. $1375/mo. Plenty of free parking. High speed Internet access avail. Gorgeous, convenient location! Lakewood Commons, 658-9697. S. BURLINGTON: Offices avail, in full service office center. Plenty of free parking. Receptionist services, conference room, waiting areas and more incl. Shared copier and fax. High-speed Internet access avail. Gorgeous, convenient location! Lakewood Executive Office Center, 658-9697. ST. ALBANS: Prof, office space for rent. 500-600 sq. ft. Good loca tion. All utils, incl. $550/mo. Lease req. 802-524-6141. THE WOOLEN MILL: Winooski. Office space avail, in pvt., newly ren ovated, three-office suite w/two psychotherapists. Full or part-time avail. Call 860-8403 or 651-7520.

► sp a c e f o r re n t BURLINGTON: Beautiful, new space to rent for bodyworker/healing arts practitioner. Includes pvt. room and shared workshop space. Reasonable rates. Call Mindy at 865-9500. BURLINGTON: Looking for bodywork/massage therapist and/or licensed psychotherapist to rent 1-3 days/week in established holistic healthcare center starting February. Convenient downtown location. Beautiful, light space. Pathways to WellBeing, 862-8806 x 2. STUDIO WORKSHOP: Woodworkers, sculptors and other mediums wanting to share studio space with two or more people. Off Spear St. $75 or less. David, 482-2300. HINESBURG: 1-bedroom apt. Owner-occupied house, but very pvt. apt. Garden space and front patio area. Nice location. No smoking/pets. $550/mo. + utils. 453-2985. HINESBURG: 2-bedroom farm house apt. Up. Cozy, bright. Cats OK. $825/mo., includes utils. 482-7082. HUNTINGTON: 2-bedroom coun try home on 18 acres of com plete privacy. Dead-end road. Wood stoves. W/D hookups. Pets OK. Avail. 2/1. $1300/mo. + dep., refs., lease. 878-0432. JERICHO: 2-bedroom, one new bath, attached garage. Barber Farm Rd. at Rt. 117. Cozy, newly painted, hdwd, fireplace, quiet country setting. Avail, now. $1000/mo. + utils. 239-403-4838. JERICHO: Furnished, sunny, spa cious, post-and-beam country home. Dead-end road, 20 mins, to Burlington/Waterbury. 10 acres w/meadows/trails/mtn. views. 15 mins, to ski/hiking areas. 2-bed room, 1-bath, newly-renovated kitchen. Oil w/wood stove back- ,: up. Pets OK. $1050/mo. + utils. Until May 15. 899-2303. MONKTON: Studio/efficiency apt. Kitchen, pvt. bath, pvt. entrance. Nonsmoking. Electricity incl. Gas heat. Country location on 19 wooded acres. $550/mo. Dep. req. Bob, 989-0273. MONTPELIER: Cool house, nice yard, great in-town neighbor hood. 3 professionals seek 4th for historic home near Hubbard Park. Lots of space, privacy, extras. Pets? 223-1827. RICHMOND VILLAGE: 3-bed room house on river. Charming, # porches, garden, W/D, pine floors. Short or long-term. Avail, immed. $1450/mo. + utils. 212691-1145 or tallen@igc.org. S. BURLINGTON: Spear St. 3/4bedroom. Across from UVM field house. Jason, 860-3923. S. BURLINGTON: Sugartree Lane 2-bedroom townhouse. 1.5-bath, carport. Avail, now. $1050/mo. Coburn and Feeley, 864-5200 ext. 229. S. BURLINGTON: Twin Oaks condo. 2-bedroom, 1st floor, propane heat, carpet, tile, wellkept, new kitchen/bath floors, stainless-steel refrigerator/DW. No pets/smoking. $975/mo. 434-3749. S. BURLINGTON: Twin Oaks unfurnished 2-bedroom condo. Convenient location. New paint/carpet/utils. Many ameni ties. Pool, carport, W/D. Flexible availability. $950/mo. + utils. Rick, 865-5171. SHELBURNE: Furnished studio apt. in luxury three-level condo. Enjoy pvt. entrance, fireplace, pool and tennis. Quiet, wooded setting. $800/mo., incl. utils. 985-8711. SHELBURNE: Gables. Pvt. end unit. Pool. 3-bedroom w /firstfloor master bedroom, W/D, 2.5bath. 2210 sq. ft. 2-car garage. Screen porch. Fireplace. Avail, now. Call 985-3973. ST. ALBANS: 1+bedroom base ment apt. Main St. Utils, and off-street parking incl. Quiet. No smoking. $600/m o„ firs t/la s t/ sec. due at lease signing. 5246141, ask for Mary. UNDERHILL Spacious 2-bed room apt. Hdwd, recently remod

eled kitchen/bathroom, many windows, pvt. parking, storage area, 25 mins, to Burlington. Cats OK. Avail, now. $695/mo., incl. heat/water. Lee, 644-5650 (h) or 764-447l(w ). WINOOSKI: 1-bedroom apt. DW, health club membership, laundry facility, parking incl. Avail immed. Contact 655-1186 or 655-4780, ask about apt. 3-11. WINOOSKI: 11 Audet St. 2/3bedroom, second floor, large unit w/porch. Avail 2/15. $995/mo., incl. heat/HW. Visit www.nevilleco.com or call 660-3481 x 21. WINOOSKI: 137 West Spring St. 3-bedroom, 2-bath, parking, W/D, gas heat. Avail. 4/1. $1200/mo. Coburn and Feeley, 864-5200 x 237. WINOOSKI: 2-bedroom apt. Very clean and quiet duplex, hdwd, new appliances, nice Hill Section, fenced yard and porch, off-street poking,. W/D and stor age. Ready 2/04 and 3/04. $950/mo.-1000/mo. 899-1735. WINOOSKI: 4-bedroom, off-street parking, gas/hot ajr. Avail, now. $1076/mo. + utils. Application, ref., dep. 652-9099, anytime. WINOOSKI: Executive 2+bedroom, hdwd, off-street parking, laundry. $950/mo. + utils. 233-* 5549 or 658-7914 evenings,. WINOOSKI/COLCHESTER: * v Maggie's Inn. Extended stay while *

EQUAL HOUSING OPPORTUNITY

All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Flousing A ct o f 1968 and similar \/ferm ont statutes w hich m ake rt ille gal to advertise any prefer ence, limitations, a discrimF nation based on race, color, religion, sex, national origin, sexual orientation, age, m arital status, handi cap, presence o f m inor chil dren in the fam ily or receipt o f public assistance, or an intention to m ake any such preference, lim itation or a discrim ination. The newspa per will not knowingly a c c e p t any advertising for real estate, w hich is in viola tion o f the law. Our readers are hereby inform ed th a t all dwellings, advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal opportunity basis, Any hom e seeker w ho feels he or she has encountered discrim ination should c o n ta c t the: HUD O ffic e o f Fair Housing, 10 C ausew ay St., Boston, M A 02222-1092. (617)565-5309. OR Vermont Human Rights Commission, 135 State St„ Drawer 33, M ontpelier, VT 05633-6301. 800-416-2010 Fax: 802-828-2480

classified@sevendaysvtC€'on1v^ SEVERDAYS j februaty#4-ll, 20$4 1' 7Dclassifieds

S. BURLINGTON: Quarry Hill

4 BR, 2.5 Bath R-Ranchin prime Essex location!

4-pius Bedroom Ranch.

Hardwood Floors, large master BR

pristine Lake Eden. 2 docks,boat

w/bath, neighborhood setting near

house, plusmuch more. $249,900.

177 feet of direct lake frontage on

bike path. $209,900. Gina Paquette: 658-5555 x2126.

Trevor Ainsworth: 658-5555 x2115.

Real Estate for the Real World.

O n i u i yn J a c k A s s o c ia t e s

you're looking for your house. Use of huge country kitchen, pvt. Room. 1800s Colonial w/antiques. Exit 15. $175/week or $39/day. 324-7388.

► sublets BURLINGTON: 2-bedroom apt. Avail, now. No fees. Beautiful! Near UVM, lots of light, hdwd, quiet neighborhood, storage space, laundry, parking. $1100/mo., incl. heat. 656-6375, awritchie2002@hotmail.com. BURLINGTON: Beautiful, spa cious 2-bedroom, 1-bath apt. w/deck and great view of Lake Champlain. Huge kitchen. Front porch, big backyard and garden, charming architectural details on S. Union St. in the Hill Section. Close to downtown/UVM/ Champlain College. Avail. 3/1 through 5/30. $800/mo. + utils. Furnished or unfurnished. David, 578-8619. BURLINGTON: Room avail, immed. in 4-bedroom apt. w/two males, one female. Quiet neighborhood, 10 min. walk to UVM/downtown. Off-street park ing. Avail, through end of May. Call Jason, 578-6388.

► for sale WHAT SHOULD YOU KNOW BEFORE YOU BUY REAL ESTATE? THE FACTS. visit us on the web:

v tu n r e a le s ta te .c o m

JOHNMCGINNIS E X C L U S IV E B U Y E R ’ S A G E N T

802.482.5500

LAND, EXIT 15: Zoned for 102 rental units. City water/sewer, maybe condos or hotel site. Nothing down, monthly pay ments. Last of the highest den sity zoned land in Chittenden County. 324-3291. MILTON: Townhouse condos. 3bedroom, 1.5-bath, 1400 sq. ft. plus basement. Parking, back patio, gas heat, city water. Three minutes from Husky and I89. Purchase price, $153,000. Buyer's net, $127,500. Call Emily, 660-0638. S. BURLINGTON: Immaculate second-floor end-unit condo. 2bedroom, 1-bath, carport, extra storage space, swimming pool! Newer DW, carpet, tile, wood floor, W/D and paint throughout! Efficient gas heat. Move-in con dition, a must see! 802-316-7377. WIN00SKI/COLCHESTER: Super location. 30,000 cars per day (approx.). Exit 15, Colonial 18bedroom inn. Garage/gardens. Owner financing. Little down. Monthly payments. $750,000. 324-3291.

► housing wanted ARTIST LOOKING for room/ rooms in Burlington (or within bike riding distance) to sleep/eat/ etc. 500-800 sq. ft. Sep. bath pref. Have two friendly outdoor cats. Move in 4/1, but can secure sooner if necessary. Sep. entrance a big plus. Alex, 703864-6609 or alex@zoom.sh.

► room for rent BURLINGTON: Close to lake/ downtown. W/D, backyard, parking. Share kitchen. Pets considered. Avail, immed. $425/mo. + 1/2 utils. + dep. Call Tony, 658-2191. S. BURLINGTON: Free room in exchange for work around a country house. Must be respon sible and show refs. Should have working knowledge of lawn mowers, snowblowers, etc. Like to garden and chop wood. Daytime 802-861-7537, evenings 802-862-8796. WINOOSKI: Grad student. New, clean, large 14x17 semi-studio. Refrigerator, microwave, sepa rate entrance. Nonsmoking, quiet, no pets. $400/mo. + share of phone, dep. and refs. Call 655-5448. WINOOSKI/COLCHESTER: Exit 15. Private room, country kitchen, perfect for profs., extended stay. $175/week or $39/day. Maggie's Inn, 324-7388 or 324-3291.

► housemates ALL AREAS, ROOMMATE.COM. Browse hundreds of online list ings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Room mate.com. (AAN CAN) BRANDON: Large chalet-style log home. 13 miles south of Middlebury. Peaceful environment. Hdwd, fireplace, cathedral ceiling, pvt. bath/shower. Pets OK. No ciga rettes. $475/mo., incl. everything. Heidi, 802-878-4200 x 104. BROOKFIELD: Young prof, seek ing roommate to share 4-bed room country house. Beautiful setting. Commuting distance to Montpelier. $300/mo. + utils. Call 728-5883. BURLINGTON: 1-bedroom avail, in 3-bedroom townhouse. W/D, off-street parking. Prof., quiet. No smoking/pets. $300/mo. + 1/3 utils. 660-2935. BURLINGTON: 1-bedroom in newly refinished 3-bedroom house. W/D, off-street parking, storage, close to bus line and UVM/FAHC. Healthy, fun prof./ grad. pref. $500/mo. + 1/3 utils. 802-318-1413. BURLINGTON: 2-bedroom apt. avail, in turn-of-the-century Victorian. Old North End Co-op is looking for a new member. Applicant must be: financially and emotionally stable, serious about living in a cooperatively-owned house, energetic, honest, trustwor thy and excited at the prospect of caring for and maintaining a 125year-old house. Contact Daniel at the Burlington Community Land Trust at 862-6244. BURLINGTON: Act now! This offer won't last! Laid-back, cre ative types wanted for our funky downtown apt. Musicians, painters, writers, philosophers, freaks, etc. Large room avail.

MIDDLESEX: 4bedroom, 2.5bath open living, deck overlooking 1500' riverfront, 15acre pasture, barn, orchard. Call Bill, Sugarbush Real Estate, 802-496-3500, www.sugar bushrealestate.com/SCRIBNER.htm $695,000 immed. $450/mo. + dep. Feb. rent will be pro-rated. 861-2273. BURLINGTON: Housemate want ed to share spacious, peaceful place near lake. 578-3501. BURLINGTON: Large house on bike path. Pvt. beach, nice neighborhood. 2-bedroom, pvt. bath. Fully-furnished 1-bedroom set up as living room. Nice setup, leather, color, shared kitchen. No pets. $550/mo., incl. all. John, 864-3412. BURLINGTON: NS prof, to share spacious condo at Redrocks. $440/mo. + 1/2 utils. Leave msg., 864-1989. BURLINGTON: Prof., quiet NS seeks same to share 2-bedroom condo a few blocks from down town. W/D, DW. Pets OK. $500/ mo. Please call 951-9629, Iv. msg. BURLINGTON: Prof., single, GWF looking for similar to share 3-bedroom apt. near Church St. Must like cats. Nonsmoker. 1/2 rent, 1/2 utils. + dep. Sabrina, 865-4626. BURLINGTON: Roommate want ed for 2/1 or ASAP! 2-bedroom Riverwatch condo off Riverside Ave. Near UVM/FAHC/downtown. Young prof./student pref. $450/ mo. flat. Cameron, 598-5803. BURLINGTON: Very nice apt. near UVM/FAHC. Prof./grad. stu dent. No pets/smoking. Avail, now through 6/1. Please call, 802-355-0599. CHARLOTTE: Housemate(s) wanted to share country home. Sunny bedroom, views of lake/ Adirondacks. Sorry, no pets. $400/ mo. + 1/4 utils. 1 month dep. 425-6212 or 864-3672 x 1036. COLCHESTER: Active and responsible person needed to share cute 2-bedroom condo. Must like dogs, but not have one. $450/mo. + 1/2 utils. Call Pam, 655-0819. HINESBURG: Quiet, respectful nonsmoker, animal friendly, to share small 2-bedroom house w/yard. $375/mo. + 1/2 utils. 482-5117. HUNTINGTON: Small room. Country house, fireplace, yard, fields, garden, garage. Sorry, no pets. 2 dogs and horses provid ed. 25 mins, to Burlington. $350/mo., incl. all. 434-3718. MONTPELIER: Bright, spacious Victorian in ideal location. Walk to downtown/colleges/Hubbard Park. Two outgoing profs. Seek third. No additional pets. $400/mo., incl. utils. 274-0901 or 229-4776. OLD N. WILLISTON: Large, fur nished room in historic farmhouse. Pvt. phone line, cable, parking, use of country kitchen and public space. No smoking/pets. $400/mo. + utils. Refs. + sec. dep. req. Call 878-0432. RICHMOND: Prof., nonsmoking person to share cape in country setting. No pets. W/D. $400/mo. + utils. 434-6189. RICHMOND: Two rooms avail, in home for outgoing and motivated individuals. Large yard and gar den. Basement storage. $375/mo. + dep., incl. utils. 434-8678. RICHMOND VILLAGE Roommate wanted to share 3-bedroom farm house. Large back yard, must be dog friendly, NS. Young profes sional or graduate student pref. $425/mo. Call 434-7051. S. BURLINGTON: Clean, quiet roommate wanted for 3-bedroom duplex. Must be gay and cat friendly. W/D, DW. No pets. $375/mo. 864-0770.

condo. Immaculate 2-bedroom, 1-bath, close to UVM/bike path/pool/tennis, off-street parking, W/D, gas heat. No dogs/cats. Avail. 3/1. $900/mo. + utils. One-year lease. 802-5983324 or 802-343-7879. S. STARKSBORO: Looking for mature, responsible, working adult to share big, beautiful country home on 30 acres. No smokers/pets/children. $485/ mo., incl. utils. Dep. req. 4535409, lescoe@madriver.com. SHELBURNE: Female to share nice, clean condo. Sunny room, pvt. bath, pool. No pets/smok ing. No lease. $575/mo., incl. all utils, except phone. Danielle, 985-5355. WILLISTON: Roommate wanted to share large house in country set ting. Pvt. bedroom, shared bath, W/D. 5 mins, from Taft Comers. $350/mo. + utils. 324-1950. WINOOSKI: Seeking prof, or mature student for 3-bedroom apt. W/D, off-street parking, Internet DSL, 2-bath. Clean and modem. No parties/drugs. 655-6261.

for sale by owner BURLINGTON: T h re e -u n it b u ild in g . St. Paul St. M a g n ific e n t views. Owners u n it:

2 -bedroom duplex

w /e x e c u tiv e lo ft, hdwd th ro u g h o u t, m arble b a th , c h e fs k itc h e n . Plus, tw o s tron g ren ta ls: o ff-s tre e t p a rkin g and separate u tils . Asking, $ 3 9 9,0 0 0 . V erm ont In d e p e n d e n t Properties, 8 6 0 -4 6 4 1 .

COLCHESTER: Colonial w/m any renovations on 1 .1 acres. 3-bedroom, 2-bath, wood stove, hdwd, detached garage, in quiet neighbor hood close to C.H.S. trails. $210,000. 651-6855, eves.

► homeshare COUPLE IN THEIR 80s seek homesharer to.assist with evening meals and errands in exchange for a room in their Shelburne home. Call HomeShareVermont at 802863-0274 or visit www.home sharevermont.org. EHO.

Writeyour lastrentcheck. Ever. Call for first time homebuyer information.

Chad Gray 652-0167

YOUR HOME FOR HOME LOANS

Office space for

HINESBURG: Texas H ill

JERICHO: Duplex. Great

Rd. B e a u tifu l 2-year-old, 3-bedroom , 2 .5 -b a th , 2300 sq. f t . Colonial on 10.4 acres. Finished bonus room over garage. $291,500. 482-6673.

lo c a tio n , near schools and IBM . Two 2-bedroom units, 2-car garage on 3 /4 lo t. Excellent owner occupied or in ve stm e n t. $186,900. Call 508-353-4449.

S. BURLINGTON: 10 Shun pike Rd. Lease-to-own pending fin a l subdivision perm its. 3-bedroom , 1bath, 1400 sq. ft . updated ranch house, hdwd, fire p la c e / wood stove, f u ll basement, attached garage, patio. Move in pending pre-approval letter, cred it check. $197,500. Lease paym ent ($1,200) 50% subtracted from purchase price. Open house: 2 /5 , 46:30 p.m ., 2 /6 , 11 a.m . - 1 p.m. See p ic tu re s / in fo : www.obrienbrothers — agency.com. Owner/Broker.

Church Street office space for rent. Two rooms for $500 or take over the whole space for $750. Heat and electric includ ed. Perfect for quiet business people. Call 652-4663. Clean and really affordable.

BURLINGTON: H ill Section. 3-bedroom , 1.5bath, w /4 -b a y carriage barn. Formal liv in g room and d in in g room, den, cus to m kitch e n . Lake views, gardens, p vt. yard. $375,000. 233-2978.

UNDERHILL: 2-acre wooded b u ild in g lo t ju s t o ff Rt. 15. Fully p e rm itte d w /a p p ro ve d septic design (c o n v e n tio n a l prim ary and backup). Builder-ready.

MORETOWN: Cozy, ce n tr a lly lo c a te d co n d o. 2 bed ro o m , 1 -b a th , gas h e a t. Very to a s ty and

VERGENNES: 4 -b e d ro o m ,

Easy drive to Essex, Circ

1920 sq. f t . ra is e d -ra n c h ,

Highway, B u rlin g to n and

1 .5 -b a th , 2 -c a r a tta c h e d

Smugglers' Notch ski area.

garage, fa m ily n e ig h b o r

$ 7 9,900. Second b u ild in g

ed. A ll new : w in d o w s,

h ood. Less th a n one m ile

lo t also available.

k itc h e n flo o r, f la t- to p

fro m q u a in t d o w n to w n .

8 0 2 -8 9 9 -3 8 6 8 .

stove, frid g e , DW. FVt.

$ 1 6 5 ,0 0 0 . 8 7 7 -3 6 7 1 .

a ffo rd a b le , d u s t re n o v a t

d e c k /p o rc h has storage c lo s e t. Close to M o n tp e lie r, W aterbury, W a itsfie ld and S ugarbush.

NEW CONSTRUCTION

P re -q u a lifie d , please. $ 8 5 ,0 0 0 . 4 9 6 -5 7 5 9 .

3 C O N T I C IR C L E H O M E S S T O N E M O U N T A IN B A R R E TOW N

Near Good Schools - Views 3 Bedrooms - 2 Baths - Deck Fully Equipped Kitchen

BURLINGTON: B e a u tifu l features, easy access to bike path, d ow ntow n. 2106 sq. f t . , 3-s to ry home, 3 /4 -b e d ro o m , 2 -b a th , fire place, fe n ced -in yard. $270,000. 8 64-7330.

Full Basement And More! $162,9 0 0 -$1 6 8 ,9 0 0 CALL: LARRY (802) 433-6283 OR TOM (802) 244-6963

CHARLOTTE: Sunny 3bedroom , 2 -b a th home on 7 + /- acres. Great views, privacy, th re e -s ta ll horse barn. Call fo r more pictures. $350,000,C all, 4 25-3233.

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auto m otives C R U IS IN G WITH A C AR CRITIC

R W e T h e re Y e t?

ake no mistake — Volvo is well underway in its mis sion to reinvent itself. The company will no longer tol erate a reputation as the “sensible shoes” automobile, replete with techie safety gear but cosmetically chal lenged. Volvo is determined to join the “tassel loafers” crowd. Accordingly, the company has beavered away during the last few years to design cars that are sleek and sexy — and, oh by the way, safe to drive. W ith the S60 R sport-touring sedan, Volvo has suc ceeded in taking sophisticated engineering originally predicated upon safety and devoting it to the pursuit of high-performance. It is, arguably, the world’s first production car to employ a fully active chassis-power train-suspension system for nearly telepathic ride and handling control. Mate that to a lusty 300-horsepower, 295-ft.-lb. five-cylinder motor wearing a KKK highpressure turbocharger with twin intercoolers, and you have a Volvo like no other before it. Whereas Volvo’s R-car exults in spirited strafes of straight-line acceleration on the order of zero-to-60 in 5.4 seconds, this cars most significant credential is its integration of three systems — Haldex all-wheel-drive, Dynamic Stability & Traction Control (DSTC) and Continuously Controlled Chassis Concept (Four-C). With this troika of technologies, Volvo manages to dis tribute gross engine power in precise increments to indi vidual wheels while simultaneously manipulating sus pension stiffness (and therefore traction) at all four cor ners. It also oversees handling balance at both front and rear. This entire orchestration is performed in response to continuous,' millisecond increments of feedback from sensors monitoring engine behavior, steering input, center-of-gravity displacement and braking action. W hat Four-C and its concomitant technologies manage to do is to take the S60 R’s abundant power and “aim” it with sharpshooter precision at specific road conditions or driver preferences. Four-C gives drivers their choice of three different suspension modes — Comfort, Sport, Advanced; and these go far beyond the mere “softening” or “stiffening” of shock dampers. Moreover, in R-car s Advanced mode there

CHimUDW COUNTY TRANSPORTATION AUTHORITY

C a ll

If you don't see your route list ed here, call 864-CCTA today and we'll send you a FREE matchlist of commuters in your area. Barre to Burlington: Looking to share a commute. Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. with some flexibility. If you can help, please ref # 142116.

Burlington to St. Albans:

•V- T

t,: •

Looking to share a commute. Mon.-Fri., 8 a.m. - 5 p.m., but flexible. If you can help, please ref # 4 0 7 9 9 .- •

"F o u r-C " s e m i-a c tiv e ch a ssis & ABS B re m b o d is c b ra ke s, 1 7 -in . w h e e ls , d u a l a u to HVAC, A M /F M /C D s te re o , p o w e r w in d o w s /m ir r o r s /lo c k s , SIPS s id e a irb a g s , DSTC & TRACS s t a b ilit y & t r a c t io n c o n tro l.

are two more customizing possibilities yet that bring the car to near race-ready suspension tuning levels. In Comfort mode, the S60 R tracks confi dently over smooth and rough road surfaces alike; and in traffic, it is almost plush in ride quality. W hen you turn up the wick, however, the Comfort setting simply induces too much body roll for, well, comfort. In Sport mode, the S60 R hunkers down, corners flat and yet still absorbs erratic road sur faces without pitching the car out of attitude. It takes the smooth ness of a race track, on the other hand, to evalu ate the Advanced mode properly. So uncompro mising is this setting that the S60 R tends to skip unnervingly across washboard patches in heart-swallowing slides at pulse-quickening speeds. On pristine tarmac, however, it is thrilling to indulge in such delectable performance feats as power oversteer and aimable four-wheel-drifts. Both are achieved, in progressively greater degrees, by either partially disabling the cars computerized DSTC stability function with the push of a button, or by tem porarily eliminating DSTC entirely with a deliberate, and ominous five jabs at the same control. “Let the driv er beware,” should be the car’s motto at this point. With

C A R P O O L

CONNECTION

864-CCTA t o

JOIN A CARPOOL TODAY!

2 0 0 4 Volvo S 60 R; 5 -p a s s ., 4 -d o o r ; AWD, 2 . 5 - lit e r DOHC tu r b o in lin e - 5 w/CVVT; 6 -s p . m a n u a l o r 5 -s p . a u to w /G e a rtr o n ic ; 3 0 0 H P /2 9 5 f t . - lb s . ; tr u n k : 15 c u . f t ; base p ric e : $ 3 6 ,8 2 5 , in c h 4 -w h e e l in d e p e n d e n t su sp . w /

respond

lis tin g

Burlington to Fairfax: Looking for a ride from Burlington to BFA Fairfax. Mon.-Fri., 8 a.m. - 3:45 p.m. If you can help, please ref # 40798. V :’

or to

lis te d .

Jericho to S. Burlington: Looking for a ride. Mon.-Fri., 6:15 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. If you can help, please ref # 40793.

Waitsfield to Waterbury: Looking South Hero to Waterbury: Looking for a ride from South Hero to Waterbury. Mon.-Fri., 10:30 p.m. - 7 a.m. If you can help, please ref # 40797.

for a ride to the Mooretown Commercial Center area. Mon.-Fri., 8:30 a.m. - 5 p.m. If you can help, please ref # 142117.

Ferrisburgh to Burlington: Northfield/Orange to Essex/ IBM: Looking to share a com mute from the Northfield/Orange area to IB M .T work the D1 shift. If you can help, please ref # 40755. > v

.• f V i * '

■

■:.< •• ■ ■■ j

Looking to share a commute. Mon.-Fri., 8 a.m. - 5 p.m. If you can help, please ref # 40771.

Essex to Berlin: Looking for a ride from Essex to Berlin. Mon.Fri., 8:30 a.m. - 5 p.m. If you can help, please ref # 40774., : v»

monster 13-in. Brembo ventilated disk brakes at all four corners, the S60 R dives hard and deep into cor ner after corner. Four-C even employs automatic braking to control suspension and traction dynamics. The smallish interior of the S60 R is little altered from the comfortable appointments of a standard S60. Sumptuous Atacama leather is one enticing option for a car that is remarkably competitive at its $36,825 base price. With its combination of price, perform ance and technology, this spirited R-car is well poised to dispel Volvo’s persistent anonymity in sport-sedan circles. The S60 R is a thrilling hotrod because of, not despite its abundance of space-age safety engineering. In a very dramatic way, thanks to Four-C, the per formance Volvo has arrived. ®

Essex to Milton: Looking for a *

Bristol to S. Burlington:

Cambridge to Colchester:

ride Mon.-Fri., 3-11:30 p.m. with some flexibility. If you can help, please ref # 40836.

Looking for a ride to IDX. Mon.Fri., 8 a.m. - 5 p.m. If you can help, please ref # 40582.

Looking for a ride to Bombardier. Mon.-Fri., 8:15 a.m. - 5 p.m. If you can help, please ref # 40819.

Montpelier to Burlington:

Hinesburg to Middlebury:

Looking to share a commute Mon. and Thurs. only from 8 a.m. 5:15 p.m. If you can help, please ref # 142145.

Looking to share a commute to Middlebury (College). Hours are Mon.TFri., 8:15 a.m. - 4:30 p.m.

Colchester to Essex: Looking to a ride Mon.-Fri., 7 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. If you can help, please ref # 40751.

Montpelier to Hinesburg: Looking to share a commute. Mon.-Fri., 6:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. If you can help, please ref # 142147.

Barre to Middlesex: Looking for

share a commute. Mon.-Fri., 7:30 a.m. - 4 p.m. If you can help, please ref # 40800.

Burlington to Middlebury:

Northfield to Burlington:

Colchester to Essex/IBM:

Looking to share a commute. Mon.-Fri., 7:45 a.m. - 4 p.m. If you can help, ptease ref # 40830.

Looking to share a commute to UVM. Mon.-Fri., 7 a.m. - 5 p.m., but flexible. If you can help, please ref # 142144.

Looking to share a commute to IBM. 7:15 a.m. - 4:15 p.m. Mon.Fri. (8S1 shift). If you can help, please ref # 40651.

Bristol to Winooski: Looking to

Essex Jet. to Vergennes: Looking for a ride from Essex Jet. to Goodrich Aerospace. Mon.-Fri., 7:15 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. with some flexibility. If you can help, please ref # 40761.

S. Burlington to Stowe: Looking to share a commute. Mon.-Fri., 7:15 a.m. - 4 p.m. If you can help, please ref # 40742. .

a ride Mon.-Fri., 4:30 p.m. - 3 a.m. If you can help, please ref # 142134.

classified@sevendaysvt.com \ SEVENDAYS I february 04-11, 2004 \ 7D classifieds 43J3

ONTHEROADVEHICLES ► automotive

C a d illa c • P o n tiac www.ShearerPontiac.com

8 0 2 - 6 5 8 - 1 2 1 2 BMW 325i, 1987, southern car, 80K original miles. Mint, sedan, auto., leather, black on black, sunroof. A/C, snow tires. Must see to appreciate! $4500/0B0. 434-2808.

BUICK PARK AVENUE, 2Q01, ultra sedan, 4 dr., maroon, V6/3.8L Supercharged, auto., FWD. 29,483 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/cass./CD, OnStar, air bags, ABS, traction. Best price, $18,997. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

CADILLAC DeVILLE, 2000, sedan, 4 dr., white, V8/4.6L, auto., FWD. 18,313 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/cass., air bags, ABS, traction control, leather. Best price, $19,995. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

CHEVROLET PRIZM, 2001, sedan, 4 dr., gold, 4-cyl./1.8L, auto., FWD. 35,435 miles, A/C, PS, AM/FM, air bags. Best price, $6698. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

HONDA CIVIC, 1997, 96K

PONTIAC GRAND AM SE, 2002,

SUBARU FORESTER, 2000,

CHEVROLET TRAILBLAZER LS,

miles, red, 2 dr., PW, PD, CD. Great little car, sad to see it go. Asking high blue book, $5250/0B0. 802-318-1644.

sedan, 4 dr., red, V6/3.4L, auto., FWD. 13,656 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD, air bags, rear spoiler. Best price, $9958. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

AWD, A/C, detailed, red. $9800. Cream puff. 864-4379.

2002, sport utility, 4 dr., light green, 6-cyl/4.2L, auto., 4WD. 28,506 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD, air bags, ABS. Best price, $19,495. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

OLDSMOBILE ALERO GL, 2001, sedan, 4 dr., black, V6/3.4L, auto., FWD. 27,307 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD,, air bags, ABS, rear spoiler. Best , price, $8425. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

OLDSMOBILE ALERO GLS, 2000, sedan, 4 dr., red, V6/3.4L, auto., FWD. 43,666 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD/cass., air bags, ABS, leather. Best price, $8495. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

PONTIAC BONNEVILLE SE, 2003, sedan, 4 dr., silver, V6/3.8L, auto., FWD. 15,169 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD, air bags, ABS. Best price, $16,590. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

PONTIAC GRAND AM GT, 1998, auto., 4 dr., A/C, AM/FM/CD, power everything. Winter and summer tires. Under 60K miles. Reliable car. $4995. 802-8474803 or 802-482-2274.

PONTIAC GRAND AM GT, 2002, sedan, 4 dr., red, V6/3.4L, auto., FWD. 38,251 miles, A/D, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/cass./CD, air bags, ABS, leather. Best price, $12,949. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

PONTIAC GRAND PRIX GT, 2003, sedan, 4 dr., maroon, V6/3.8L, auto., FWD. 25,549 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD, OnStar, air bags, ABS, leather. Best price, $13,495. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212,

PONTIAC GRAND PRIX SE, 2000, sedan, 4 dr., silver, V6/3.1L, auto., FWD. 30,662 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, AM/FM/cass., air bags, ABS. Best price, $8298. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

SUBARU OUTBACK, 1999, excellent condition, warranty, PW, PL, cruise. $7950. 434-5183.

JEEP CHEROKEE SPORT, 2000,

► trucks FORD RANGER, 1998, 4WD, auto., A/C, .5 ton, V6, flareside supercab splash, 31,500 miles, XLT trim, spray on bedliner, fiberglass cap, not a spot on this truck. Cherry condition. $11,000. Call 862-5170.

► suvs 4x4, 126K miles. New battery, tires, tune up. Runs great! $2900. Call Casey, 229-6201.

www.ShearerPontiac.com

8 0 2 - 6 5 8 - 1 2 1 2

sport utility, 2 dr., pewter, V6/4.3L, auto., 4WD. 40,221 miles, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD, air bags, ABS. Best price, $11,995. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

PONTIAC SUNFIRE, 2003.

CHEVROLET TRACKER, 2003,

coupe, 2 dr., silver, 4-cyl/2.2L, auto., FWD. 17,829 miles, A/C, PS, AM/FM/CD, air bags, rear spoiler. Best price, $9550. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212. SATURN SL1, 2001, sedan, 4 dr., green, 4-cyl./1.9L, auto., FWD. 37,766 miles, A/C, PS, AM/FM/CD, air bags. Best price, $6242. Call Shearer Pontiac, 658-1212.

sport utility, 4 dr., silver, 4cyl./2.0L, auto., 4WD. 18,410 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD, air bags, roof rack. Best price, $12,645. Call Shearer Pontiac, 658-1212.

Get on the Road with

CHEVROLET VENTURE LS, 2001, minivan, 4. dr., silver, auto., FWD. 41,036 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD, air bags, ABS, roof rack. Best price, $12,125. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

PONTIAC MONTANA, 2001, minivan, 4 dr., green, V6/3.4L, auto., FWD. 42,559 miles, six passenger seating, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD, OnStar, air bags, ABS. Best price, $11,988. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

C a d illa c • P o n tiac www.ShearerPontiac.com

8 0 2 -6 5 8 - 1 2 1 2 PONTIAC AZTEK, 2003, sport utility, 4 dr., maroon, V6/3.4L, auto., AWD. 13,295 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD, air bags, ABS, roof rack. Best price, $15,765. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212. SATURN VUE, 2003, sport utili ty, 4 dr., silver, V6/3.0L, auto., AWD. 24,584 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD, air bags. Best price, $17,951. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

Seven

D ays

8 0 2 - 6 5 8 - 1 2 1 2

► minivans

CHEVROLET BLAZER, 1994,

CHEVROLET BLAZER LS, 2000,

C a d illa c • P o n tiac

66K miles, 4WD, cruise, PL, PW, red. Excellent condition. Asking $9000. 324-1950. PONTIAC AZTEK, 2001, sport utility, 4 dr., pewter, V6/3.4L, auto., AWD. 33,174 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD, air bags, ABS, roof rack. Best price, $10,986. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

C a d illa c • P o n tiac www.ShearerPontiac.com

G re e n M o u n ta in C a rs .c o m Over 2000 cars, trucks & SUVs with photos & details from Vermont dealers!

Auto Classifieds. $10 for 25 words.

Email Jess: classified@ sevendaysvt.com

ACROSS 1 Tower town 5 Ditch 9 Married Mile. 12 Life” (’66 hit) 17 Ac \cted like grandma 18 Sills solo 19 Tam material 20 Sit in on a class 21 Actor Alex 22 “Aida” river 23 “Meterleader 24 Actress Rivera 25 Throb 26 Loser to DDE 27 Author Christie 29 Stirrup site 30 Riddle: Part 1 36 Gridiron position 37 Z — zebra 38 Present for pop 39 Dutch export 42 Ms. Silkwood 44 Wine variety 50 Sought office 51 Famed caravel

D 52 Om, for instance 53 Actress Joanne 54 ABA member 55 Skater Hughes 56 Come out of one’s shell 57 Dutch export 58 Sharif role 60 22 Across feature 61 Internet acronym 63 Riddle: Part 2 68 Permit 69 Grows light 70 Studio 73 Word with camp or tree 76 Rolling Stone” (’65 hit) 77 Groundwork 79 Before, to Byron 80 Mackie or Marley 81 Wobble 83 Add a lane 84 It may be white 85 Titmouse kin 87 Emulate Elle 88 — Castro 90 “— vous plait”

c r o s s w 8 — kwon do 46 Utmost 9 Drilling 47 Bizarre site? 48 Nest t 10 Club creed egg 11 Yale or Root 49 Zombie 12 Tic------ toe base 13 “What?” 51 Debra of 14 “Farewell, “Love Me Tender” Francois!" 15 Big guy 52 Fountain 16 Austere treats 17 Close the 55 Use curtains coupons 19 Cart 56 Shampoo 26 Postfix ingredient 57 Middle 27 Exiled dictator Eastern 28 Mary of airline “Dodsworth” 59 Electrical 31 Claire or measure Balin 60 Librarian 32 Big Melvii revolver? 61 “The 33 Lost Addams 34 “The Family” Ramayana” actor heroine 62 Pindaric poetry 35 Barbie's boyfriend 64 Stop on — 39 Austrian city , 65 Delibes 40 Solemn opera DOWN statement 66 Blackboard 1 Doggy 41 “Wait — support 2 Restless Dark” 67 Cry uncle 3 Left the (’67 film) 71 Cleveland’s Union 42 Ballet lake 4 Fuss and 72 Stagger company 73 English feathers 43 Santa —, 5 A Lennon CA channel? sister 74 Fireworks 44 Smith or 6 — setter reaction Page 75 Kimono 7 West's 45 Like cummer“Diamond Machu . ... Picchu . * * * bund «.•«»

91 Joyce’s land 92 Implore 93 Answer to riddle 1 0 4 “Exodusprotagonist 105 Plaza Hot< Hotel kid 106 Get a galley going 107 Marineland performer 108 Kanga’s creator 111 Construct 112 Crow’s toe 114 TV’s “Mad — You” 115 Celebrity 116 Mispickei and galena 117 Costa — 118 Rampal’s instrument 119 — apso 120 Draft agcy. 121 Dentist’s directive 122 French bean?

76 Peeper protector 77 Senator from Delaware 78 Humorist George 81 Stowe gear 82 Bisect 83 Sported 86 Civil War initials 87 Pixie and Dixie 88 Charge 89 Vile 91 Road curves 92 Luxury car 93 Veronica of “Hill Street Blues” 94 Maestro Leinsdorf 95 Novelist Cather 96 St. — fire 97 Savanna sounds 98 Startled cry 99 Vestige 100 Dubuque denizen 101 Game fish 102 Intense 103 Behind schedule 109 Mil. base 110 Homeric character 112 — Magnon 113 Back talk ♦114 S ternw ard,

o r d

last week's answers on page 31b

44B

f february 04-11, 2004 I SEVENDAYS I classified@sevendaysvt.com

CL A S S I FI E D S E M P LOYM E NT ► employment 2.9 BILLION DOLLAR INTER NATIONAL company expanding to the area seeks self-motivated, goal-driven individuals to fill part-time/full-time positions immed. For details, call 1-800270-4789.

ATTN: NEW SHIFT OPENING. Breakfast cook, breakfast servers. Must be experienced and have refs. Applications at Vermont Soup, Williston Rd., 862-5678.

BARTENDER TRAINEES WANT' ED! No experience necessary! Have fun and make up to $250 per shift! Local positions avail able now! Call 1-800-514-0227 ^ ext. 201. (AAN CAN) BARTENDERS: Up to $1000 per week! Bartender positions avail able. FT/PT. No experience required. Call 1-800-806-0083 ext. 203. (AAN CAN)

CAFE MANAGER/OPERATING PARTNER: Unique opportunity to reap rewards of a successful new cafe! Seeking experienced manager to assume responsibility of running luncheon cafe. Must be creative, personable, hungry for success, experience managing P&L margins and strong leader ship skills. Competitive salary, profit sharing and bonus incen tives. Send resume to: Garden of Eatin' Cafe, 472 Marshall Ave., Williston, VT 05495. CARPENTER'S HELPER: Ecocompany seeks someone willing to learn. Vehicle and phone required. Experience preferred. Send resume to: vze3j88p@ verizon.net or L. Freeman, 375 Ethan Allen, Burlington.

CARPENTERS WANTED: Contractor seeks experienced, hardworking carpenters frame to * -finish. Tools not necessary. "Finish only" carpenters need not apply. Full-time, year-round. 475-2940. DOGGIE DAYCARE now hiring! Athletic, hardworking individu als. Various positions. Apply in person.

FULL-TIME PHYSICAL THERA PIST Orthopedic. Please mail or fax resume to: Appletree Bay Physical Therapy, 1205 North Avenue, Burlington, VT 05401. Fax: 802-383-0420.

FURNITURE DELIVERY: Accurate, organized, customerservice oriented. Able to deliver heavy Tempo Furniture, 985-8776. MODELS/TALENT: Video produc* *1on company is updating talent pool. Looking for teens, men and women of all ages, types and ethnic backgrounds to appear in _ TV commercials, corporate videos and commercial photos. No expe rience necessary. Please send contact info w/photograph to: The Wetherhead Co., 21 Clymer St., Burlington, VT 05401.

ON-SITE TECHNICIAN NEEDED: Installation/configuration of computer microscopy systems, v ' including customer training and technical support. Travel , .required. Background including biology, microscopy and comput er skills is highly recommended. Ability to rapidly learn new skills a must. Outstanding customer service req. Send cover letter and resume to: datadognet@ yahoo.com.

PART-TIME SPECIAL EDUCA TOR: Small, progressive human services agency seeks Special _ Educator, 10-15 hrs./wk. to pro vide Case Management and Instructional Services to children with special needs in the Burlington area. Skilled, experi enced applicants looking for an exceptional opportunity, call Robert at 802-295-9100.

PERSONAL CARE ATTENDANT: Full or part-time position avail, for woman with MS in Warren. Call 496-2673 or 496-4170.

RETAIL BUSINESS MANAGER: Experienced team leader with strong sales, office and people skills. TEMPO Furnishings, 879-2998.

STYLIST/SKIN CARE/ASSISTANT: The newest day spa

► entertainment

around, Moon Studio, is ready to expand our family. Do you enjoy the art of shaping and coloring hair? Are facials, nails and wax ing your thing? We have room for an assistant, too! Clientele a plus. Give us a call at 985-9949. THE PITCHER INN is currently hiring breakfast chefs and line cooks. Apply within or call, 802496-6350.

Mainstream/adult entertainment. DJ show, multiple costume changes, live electronic violin, synthesized effects, lights, more. Fun. Hot. Cool. Rock! World music. VT based. 800-859-7325. EXOTICA: Adult entertainment for birthday, bachelor, bachelorette parties, private fun-onone shows. 802-658-1464. New talent welcome!

WAREHOUSE DISTRIBUTION firm located in Williston has an immediate need for warehouse personnel. Responsibilities include pulling and preparing orders for shipment, as well as loading and unloading trucks and containers. A good attitude and forklift experience required. Excellent benefits. 802-8638800, www.hamptondirect.com.

WILDERNESS CAMP COUNSELOR: Challenge yourself, learn and grow while helping at-risk youth turn their lives around. Make friends, make a difference. Year-round resi dential positions, free room/board. Details online: www.eckerd.org or send resume: Career Advisor/ AN, Eckerd Youth Alternatives, PO Box 7450, Clearwater, FL 33758. EOE. (AAN CAN)

► volunteers CALLING ALL LGBTQQI AND ALLIES: Come help P.R.I.D.E. in Vermont! For more info, contact the P.R.I.D.E. committee at pridevermont@pridevermont.org or peruse the website at www.pride vermont.org.

► childcare MOMMY'S HELPER to assist first-time mom of precious 2month-old girl w/light house keeping and childcare. Part-time, flexible, daytime hours, 10-15 hrs./wk. $10/hr. Responsible, reliable, gentle, patient. Experience w/newborns pref. Refs. req. Call Lauren, 860-6123.

► business opps ANYONE WITH DRIVE, desire and integrity has a $100K+/year potential! Call for free info, 800807-1436. (AAN CAN) AVON: Buy or sell, you decide! $10 start-up + 50% commission! Contact webmaster@beauty alley.net, www.beautyalley.net. CAREER POSITIONS: Earn $1248 an hour. Full benefits, paid training on Homeland Security, law enforcement, wildlife, cleri cal, administrative and more. 1800-320-9353 ext. 2560. (AAN CAN) DATA ENTRY: Work from home. Flexible hours! Great pay! Computer required. 1-800-3824282 ext. #8. (AAN CAN) EASY WORK! Great pay! Process mail from home for national company. Payment in advance guaranteed‘/ Ffe£ info. Call 1800sW&{£5*73, ext. 389. (AAN CAN), v,. f-

BABYLON EXPRESS EXOTICA:

► professional svcs. ATTENTION SMALL BUSINESS owners: Personalized QuickBooks 1-on-l setup/training/troubleshooting. To fit your needs. Call Barb at All 4-1 Business Services, 878-6015.

CLEAN SWEEP CLEANERS: Commercial and residential cleaning services. Fully insured. Contact Nichole, owner, 802370-9531 or cleansweepbvt @aol.com. EXPERIENCED IN residential cleaning, office cleaning, rental moveouts. One-time cleaning and special projects. Attention to detail. 802-985-9469.

FOR ANY KIND OF SEWING PROJECTS, from clothing to home furnishing, brand new or just repairs. Original/custom designs. No projects too big or small and lessons for the right student. Contact Nutmegsewing@aol.com or 862-6087.

LET ME HELP YOU! Responsible, reliable college girl w/tons of energy wants to make your life easier. I'll babysit, gro cery shop, houseclean, housesit, walk your dog or run any of your errands for a reasonable price. Allyson, 658-1085. MASTER CARPENTER new to area. Offering complete home maintenance and improvement service. Environmentally-friendly building techniques, renewable energy shop. Leon Gregory, 518425-0094. Extensive refs. NEED HELP with a decorating project, room rearrangement or decluttering? Experience the dif ference! Call Leanne at Apropo Designs, 802-372-8632. Macintosh system and software tutoring. Photoshop, Dream weaver, Flash, home/business networks. $25/hr. Bill Keyworth, 434-3516.

► dating svcs. WHY WAIT? Start meeting Vermont singles tonight. For more information, call toll-free, 1-800-766-2623 x2288.

► computer svcs.

$20/hr. "plus possible, work f u ll. or part-time. Call for more info, 800-476-1116. (AAN CAN)

UNIQUE RETAIL BUSINESS FOR SALE: Well-established Church St. location. Turn-key investment. High profits. Cash buyers only! 802-479-6238.

YOUR KARMA: You stole my black, cashmere scarf! 6:45 showing, "The House of Sand and Fog," Roxy, January 2 3 .1 get the irony, do you? Give it back! Drop scarf off at 7 Days office: No questions, no retribution!

► announcements

WRITING A BOOK? Publisher

ments/annuity payments. It's your money! Get cash now, when you need It most! Oldest/best in the business. Settlement Purchasers. 1-877-Money-ME. (AAN CAN) CASH: Sold real estate and receiving payments on a note and mortgage? I'll pay you cash for all of your remaining pay ments. Frank, 802-462-2552, •pund@together.net. FREE GRANTS never repay, results guaranteed. $500500,000. Homes, repairs, educa tion, business, emergencies, nonprofits, writers. Live opera tors. 9 a.m. - 9 p.m. 1-800-6135447 ext. 9020. (AAN CAN)

looking for new talent in writing contest. 1st place $500 and $25,000 in global marketing sup port. Online entries FREE. www.First WordContest.com. (AAN CAN)

► cleaning svcs. GLORIA'S RESIDENTIAL and Commercial Cleaning. Call for estimate. 863-9275. HOUSECLEANING: Experienced cleaners will clean your home at your convenience and schedule. Fair rates. Call 862-9048.

- W !?.«* tt* •**> •

rated projects. No experience needed. Compensation in pic tures and experience. Contact David Russell Photography, 6519493, rusldp@juno.com, www.rusldp.com. NEED A PHOTOGRAPHER but on a budget? I can cover your wedding or other special event. Affordable rates. Contact David Russell Photography at 6519493, www.rusldp.com.

► telephone svcs. CABLE TV OUTLETS, phone lines installed. Same-day service. $27/connection. 25 years experi ence. Business or residential. Call John, 864-3412.

► tutoring WEB TUTOR NEEDED: Must

All looks, types and ages. No experience required. TV, music videos, film, commercials. Work with the best. 1-800-260-3949 ext. 3560. (AAN CAN)

know HTML, Dreamweaver, be able to access databases via code and know the hosting uplink process. I have program ming experience but haven't delved into the net. Need help with site. jwebster429@ yahoo.com.

► art ART, MUSIC AND CREATIVITY CLASSES AND WORKSHOPS: Adult and children's classes begin mid-January. Painting with Acrylics, six weeks, $175. Pinhole Photography, Exploring the Camera Obscura, two-part class, $82. Life Drawing, Focus on Faces, six weeks, $60. Creativity Workshop, Releasing the Inner Voice, six weeks, $180. The Business of Art, Formulas for Success, $20. Piano lessons for beginners, ongoing, $30/hr. Drop-in Acoustic Guitar Jams, Monday evenings, free. The Studio, 4 Howard St., Burlington. For more info and dates, call 651-9818.

► writing WE WANT MINORITY WRITERS: The Academy for Alternative Journalism, supported by alterna tive papers like this one, seeks experienced minority journalists and students (college seniors and up) for a paid summer writing program at Northwestern University's Medill School of Journalism, Chicago. The eightweek program (June 20 - August 15, 2004) aims to recruit talented minority writers into the alterna tive press and train them in mag azine-style feature writing. Ten participants will be chosen and paid $3000 plus-housing and travel allowances. For information visit the website at www.medill .northwestern.edu/aaj or write for an application: Academy for Alternative Journalism, Northwestern University, Medill School of Journalism, 1845 Sheridan Road, Evanston, IL 60208. Email altacademy@north western.edu. Application deadline February 9, 2004. (AAN CAN)

► buy this stuff

$$ Cash $$ for your clothes. Sell to Greener Pastures Call toll free

1-888-282-2667

► free FREE CAT: Male kitten, seven months old, fixed, all shots. Looking for a good home. Call 363-9900. HEALTHY, FEMALE CAT: Small, gray, 1-year-old. Hasn't seen a vet yet. Free. 864-0770.

► music services COSMIC HILL RECORDING: MIDI and production services. Years of experience in writing, playing, recording and produc tion. Dedicated to making your music sound great. $25 per hour. 496-3166. Moretown, VT.

EGAN MEDIA PRODUCTIONS: Give your band the professional edge. A world-class studio with a huge analog console, Pro Tools HD3, 2" 24-track analog tape, Hammond B-3, top drawer mics and outboard gear. Featured twice in Mix Magazine. Recent acts include Manifest Nexto Me, Voice, The Samples, RAQ, Big Head Todd, Joe Bonamassa, Gov't Mule, Our Lady Peace, Jefferson Starship, My Revenge, etc. 6551886, www.eganmedia.com.

► musicians wanted

FRAMES, BARN BOARD, paint

ACOUSTIC ACT SEEKS man

ed wood, very competitive prices. Frames or kits including frame, glass, acid-free backing and hangers. Wholesale accounts welcome, pricelist available. Call 802-439-5096.

BAD-ASS CHICKS WANTED FOR ALL-GIRL BAND. Lead vocal-

FREE 4-ROOM DIRECTTV SYS TEM including installation! Free 3-month HBO (7 movie chan nels) with subscription. Access 225+ TV channels. Digital quali ty. Restrictions apply. 1-800877-1251. (AAN CAN)

HIGH RESOLUTION DIGITAL CAMERA: Canon D-60 (SLR) with two years remaining on full warranty. In great shape, pur chased last year. $1000. 8604668 or photo@sover.net. WEDDING GOWN: Brand new. Never worn. Strapless Mori Lee gown. Size 6 (no alterations done). Fitted, slightly flared, sweep train. Back buttons. Ivory. Incl. shawl. Originally $600. Asking $400. Call Maria at 802658-7611.

WOLFF TANNING BEDS: Affordable. Convenient. Tan at home. Payments from $25/month. FREE color catalog. Call today, 1-800-842-1305.

► want to buy ANTIQUES: Furniture, postcards, pottery, cameras, toys, medical tools, lab glass, photographs, slide rules, license plates and silver. Anything unusual or unique. Cash paid. Call Dave at 802-859-8966.

dolin, dobro and/or fiddle play er. Multi-instrumentalist pref., vocal abilities a plus. Call John at 425-7120,

ist/rhythm guitar seeking lead guitar, banjo, mandolin, fiddle, bass, percussion, whatever for a rock/vintage country/modern bluegrass/old school rockabilly outfit. Pro equipment a plus. Contact Rachael: rachael@fly chickpro.com or 802-229-4427. DRUMMER THAT'S SICK of jam ming, looking for musicians to start a serious band that is will ing to be creative. 802-951-2526 or grannisrs@aol.com, Leif. All instruments wanted. GUITARIST WANTED for work ing local band. Various styles, always something interesting. Additional instruments or vocals a big plus. Adam, 363-8898. KEYBOARDIST for rock/funk/ reggae band in Burlington. Vocals a plus. Practice 1/2 times/week. Call Adam, 233-3453. LOOKING FOR MUSICIANS (all instruments) for new power pop/rock project. Think Zevon meets Letterman. Rehearse, play, record, laugh, whatever. 865-2406.

► music instruct. BANJO AND PEDAL STEEL w/Gordon Stone, back in Burlington. All levels/styles. 25 years teaching experience. Recordings/live performances: Phish, Mike Gordon Band, Strangefolk, Pine Island, Chrome Cowboys, Gordon Stone Band. www.gordonstone.com, 863-4497.

COMPUTER REPAIRS/ UPGRADES by certified techni cians. Low rates, fast turn around. Low-priced computers for sale. ReCycle North Tech Services, 266 Pine St., Burlington, 658-4143 ext. 23.

>N0T FOR KIDS> >N0T FOR KIDS>

FULL-SERVICE COMPUTER

18+ O N L Y

repair, upgrade, PC, Macs, net working, Web design and tutor ing. Competitive rates. Many ref erences. House calls and in shop. Free quote, 864-7470.

► financial $$CASH$$ Cash now for struc tured settlements, annuities and insurance payouts. 800-7947310. J.G. Wentworth means cash now for structured settle ments. (AAN CAN)

*,■ A t.

FEMALE MODELS wanted for G-

MOVIE EXTRAS: $200-600/day.

>N0T FOR KIDS> >N0T FOR KIDS>

SECOND VERMONT REPUBLIC: www.vermontrepublic.org or 802425-4133.

► photography

► acting

TOTAL MACINTOSH TUTOR:

eBAY TRAINEES WANTED:

► lost & found

CASH for structured settle-

NAUGHTY LOCAL GIRLS WANT TO CONNECT WITH YOU

1-888-420-BABE 6

1-900-772-6000® 1-473-444-0488 i r

WILD GIRLS! H O T L IV E 1-ON-1

99° 1 -8 0 0 -4 5 8 -6 4 4 4 1 -900-988-0900

classified@sevendaysvt.com I SEVENDAYS I february 04-11, 2004 I 7D classifieds 4 ^

Guitar Lessons 20 years experience Friendly learning environment

879-7370 t w o b u g g ie s @ a d e lp h ia . n e t

GUITAR: All styles/levels. Emphasis on developing strong technique, thorough musicianship, personal style. Paul Asbell (Unknown Blues Band, Kilimanjaro, Sklar/Grippo, etc.), 862-7696, www.paulasbell.com. GUITAR: Berklee graduate with classical background offers les sons in guitar, theory and ear training. Individualized, step-bystep approach. I enjoy teaching all ages/styles/levels. Call Rick Belford at 864-7195. GUITAR INSTRUCTION: Relaxed yet disciplined arena. 20+ years experience. No-pretense environ ment fosters technique and cre^ ativity. Beginners welcome. Refs, avail. 802-877-3624.

PIANO AND IMPROVISATION: Lessons in theory, harmony and improvisation for all instrumen talists and ages. Beginning through advanced concepts taught with clarity and patience. Burlington. Further questions? Call Shane Hardiman at 2798859, hipkeys@lycos.com.

► travel OUR READERS LOVE to travel! And, with one simple phone call, you can reach up to 17 million, adventurous, travel connoisseurs in 100+ newspapers jsast like this one. Go to www.aancan.com or call this newspaper for more information. (AAN CAN)

► legals NOTICE TO PUBLIC OF INTENT TO REQUEST RELEASE OF m : FUNDS iv , r *ni'A>•-?>« February 4, 2004 City of Burlington City Hall, Burlington, VT 05401 (802) 865-7144/ TTY users (802) 865-7142 ’ ',w On or about February 12, 2004, the City of Burlington in the County of Chittenden will submit a request to the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) for the release of Lead-Based Paint Hazard Control in PrivatelyOwned Housing Grant Program funds under Section 1011 of the Housing and Community Development Act of 1992, Public Law 102-550, for the following project: Project Title: Lead Hazard Reduction Program Location of Project: Burlington Estimated Cost of Project: $1,500,000 Project Purpose: To reduce lead paint hazards in pre-1978 affordable housing The activities proposed are cate gorically excluded under HUD regulations at 24 CFR Part 58 from National Environmental Policy Act (NEPA) requirements. An Environmental Review Record (ERR) that documents the envi ronmental determinations for this project is on file at the Community and Economic Development Office (CEDO). 149 Church Street. Room 32. City Hall, Burlington, VT and may be examined or copied weekdays between the hours of 8:30 A.M. and 4:30 P.M.

Public Comments Any individual, group, or agency may submit written comments on the ERR to CEDO. All com ments received by February 12, 2004 will be considered by the City of Burlington prior to authorizing submission of a request for release of funds.

Release of Funds The City of Burlington certifies to HUD that the City of Burlington and the Office of the Mayor consent to accept the jurisdiction of the Federal Courts if any action is brought to enforce responsibilities in rela tion to the environmental review process and that these responsi-r bilities have been satisfied. HUD's approval of the certifica tion satisfies its responsibilities under NEPA and related laws and authorities, and allows VHCB to use Program funds for the proj ect.

Objections to Release of Funds HUD will consider objections to its release of funds and the City of Burlington certification for a period of fifteen days following either the anticipated submis sion date or HUD's actual receipt of the request (whichever is later) only if the objections are on one of the following bases: (a) That the Certification was not executed by the Certifying Officer of the City of Burlington; (b) the City of Burlington has omitted a step or failed to make a decision or finding required by HUD regulations at 24 CFR Part 58; (c) the City of Burlington has committed funds or incurred costs not authorized by 24 CFR Part 58 before approval of a release of funds by HUD; (d) another Federal agency acting pursuant to 40 CFR Part 1504 has submitted a written finding that the project is unsatisfactory from the standpoint of environ mental quality. Objections must be prepared and submitted in accordance with the required procedures (24 CFR Part 58), and may be addressed to HUD as fol lows: U-S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, Eric Axelrpd, Environmental Officer, Office of Lead Hazard Control, 451 7th St., SW, Room P3206, Washington, DC 20410-0001. Potential objectors may contact HUD to verify the actual last day of the objection period. Peter Clavelle, Mayor City Hall Burlington, VT 05401

NOTICE TO PUBLIC OF PRO POSED ACTION LOCATED WITHIN THE FLOODPLAIN February 4, 2004 Community and Economic Development Office City of Burlington City Hall, Burlington, VT 05401 (802) 865-7144/TTY users (802) 865-7142 TO ALL INTERESTED AGENCIES, GROUPS AND PERSONS: The purpose of this notice is to notify the public that the City of Burlington is proposing to use federal funds under the HUD Lead-Based Paint Hazard Control Grant Program. This project will involve lead hazard control/ reduction activities and minor rehabilitation on residential properties within the City of Burlington. The City of Burlington contains floodplains and project sites could be locat ed within Flood Zones, as desig nated by the Flood Insurance Rate Maps. PROJECT: Burlington Lead Hazard Reduction Program VTLHB0246-03

All affected and interested agen cies, groups and persons are encouraged to participate in this decision-making process for the proposed action in the floodplain. Written comments for consideration by the City of Burlington may be sent to Graham Dewyea at the address listed above. Written comments should be received at the above address on or before February 12, 2004. Information regarding the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development's regulations concerning floodplain manage ment may be obtained by con tacting: Karen Choi, Environ mental Clearance Officer, U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development,'611 West Sixth Street, Suite 1145, Los Angeles, CA 90017 (213) 894-8000.

If you are not a statutory party identified in Environmental Board Rules (EBR) 14(A )(l)-(4), and you wish to participate as a party, you must file a written party status petition at or before the prehearing conference. Party status petitions must meet the requirements of EBR 14. Failure to present a timely party status petition, without a demonstration of good cause to the contrary, waives all rights to party status and/or further notice of these proceedings.

This Declaratory Ruling Request concerns a proposed develop ment that is the subject of Land Use Permit Application #4C05104 (Dash 4 Application), which includes the construction of a 7,200-square-foot cold storage building, 800 feet of railroad siding, a loading and mainte nance facility with a conveyor belt and a 20-by-10-foot loading pit, and approximately 500 feet of underground power line, located off of Route 2A on Rail Park Road in Colchester, Vermont (Project). :.:t. •. ■ On November 21, 2003, the District 4 Environmental Commission Coordinator (Coordinator) issued Jurisdictional Opinion #4-189 (JO) in which she determined that the Project requires a land use permit amendment, that the adjoining property owners must be given notice and an opportu nity to participate, and that the District 4 Environmental Commission (Commission) has jurisdiction to reconvene a hear ing on the Dash 4 Application, pursuant to 10 V.S.A. Ch. 151 (Act 250). On December 17, 2003, Dennis Demers and the NE Central Railroad filed a request for reconsideration with the Coordinator. On December 23, 2003, the Coordinator issued a decision on the reconsideration request (Reconsidered JO) hold ing that the Commission has authority to and jurisdiction to reconvene the hearing on the Dash 4 Application, and that the property owners adjoining both the Demers property and the railroad property are entitled to notice. On January 20, 2004, Dennis Demers and NE Central Railroad (Petitioners) filed a Petition for Declaratory Ruling with the Environmental Board (Board), appealing the JO pursuant to 10 V.S.A. § 6007(c). Petitioners contend that the Project does not require an Act 250 permit and that Act 250 jurisdiction over the Project is preempted by the Interstate Commerce Commission Termination Act, 49 U.S.C. § § 10101-16106.

Melanie Kehne, Associate General Counsel, Vermont Environmental Board (802-828-3305).

All documents filed with the Board must include an original and ten (10) copies, a certificate of service, and be served on all persons on the service list. Contact the person below if you have any questions.

Pay one low price until it sells! $50, includes 25 w ords and photo.

VERMONT ENVIRONMENTAL BOARD 10 V.S.A. Ch. 151 Re: Dennis Demers and Declaratory Ruling Request # 429 NE Central Railroad CORRECTED NOTICE OF PREHEAR ING CONFERENCE

Dated at Montpelier, Vermont this 30th day of January, 2004.

Statutory parties identified in EBR 14(A)(1) - (4) who wish to participate in this matter should inform the Board of this interest before the prehearing conference but need not file party status petitions.

FOR SALE BY OWNER: classified@sevendaysvt.com or call Jess, 865-1020 x10.

REALTORS: allison@sevendaysvt.com or call Allison, 865-1020 x 22. Deadline is Monday at 5 p.m.

C L A S S IF IE D S U B M IS S IO N S u b m it y o u r 7D C la s s ifie d b y m a il to : PO B o x 1 1 6 4 , B u r lin g t o n , VT 0 5 4 0 2 - 1 1 6 4 o r o n l i n e a t w w w .s e v e n d a y s v t .c o m

►EMPLOYMENT & BUSINESS OPP. LINE ADS: 75C a word. ►LEGALS: S ta rtin g 35C a word. ►LINE ADS: $10 fo r 25 words. Over 25: 5 0 4 /w ord there a fte r. Discounts are available for long-run ning ads and for national ads.

►FOR RENT/WELLNESS ADS:

name

$10 for 25 words. Over 25: 5 0 4 /w ord th e re a fte r. Discounts

phone

are available for long-running ads and for national ads.

address

►DISPLAY ADS: $ 17.00/col. inch. ►ADULT ADS: $ 2 0 /c o l. in ch . Group buys for display ads are available in other regional papers in Vermont Call for more details.

select a category (check one):

►ALL ADS MUST BE PREPAID. WE TAKE VISA, MASTERCARD AND CASH, OF COURSE.

□ em ploym ent

□ d a tin g svcs.

□ herbs

□ legals

□ work wanted

□ fin a n c ia l

□ com puter svcs.

□ business opps.

□ misc. services

□ situ a tio n s

□ o th e r* * Not all categories are shown. If you don't see a category for your ad sub mission w ell review it and place it appropriately.

□ lo s t & found

□ te lephone svcs.

□ wedding svcs.

□ b u lle tin board

□ tu to rin g

□ video svcs.

□ au tom o tive

□ homebrew

□ organic

□ real estate

□ buy th is s tu ff

□ vacation ren ta l

□ o ffice fo r ren t

□ w a n t to buy

□ w ant to trade

□ space wanted

□ a rt

□ free

□ h o u se /a p t. fo r rent

□ music

□ storage fo r rent

□ housemates

□ music in s tru c t.

□ volunteers

□ sublets

□ musicians wanted

□ a d u lt

□ wellness* * Wellness categories are not shown. All wellness submissions will be reviewed and placed in the appropriate cate gories.

text of your ad:

I I I I I

PURPOSE: To reduce or eliminate lead-based paint hazards in existing residential housing units. LOCATION: Burlington

The Chair of the Board, or her delegate, will hold a prehearing conference in this matter on Thursday, March 4, 2004, at 2:00 p.m., at the Environmental Board's Conference Room, National Life Records Center Building, National Life Drive, Montpelier, Vermont, 056203201.

I I I

# of weeks: payment:

□ check □ cash □

name on c a r d _______

I v is a

□

.e x p ira tio n date (MM/YYYY) _ | _ | / _ | _ | _ |

p le ase n o te: refunds cannot be granted for any reason, adjustments wrll be credited to the advertiser's account toward future classifieds placement only, we proofread carefully, but even so, mistakes can occur, report errors at once, as seven days will not be responsible for errors continuing beyond the first printing, adjustment for error I is limited to republication, in any event, liability for errors (or omissions) shall not exceed the cost of the space occupied by such an error (or omission), all advertising B is subject to review by seven days, seven days reserves the right to edit, properly categorize or dedine any ad without comment or appeal.

A* A ' j Yi'-jy r f . p T ^ : : r r f , t t K ' X ? . 46B |

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' ■ •***' r C P i y

february 4-11, 2004 | SEVEN DAYS employment@sevendaysvt.com

H d e a d l in e monday at 5pm 2 PHONE 802.864.5684 FAX 802.865.1015 (/) email classified@sevendaysvt.com SEASONAL TECHNICAL SUPPORT S P EC IA LIS T S Support the DR® line of outdoor power equipment for our customers worldwide! Solid computer skills; professional telephone manner; experience with small engines, outdoor power equipment or general mechanical abilities; proven problem solving skills; experience and comfort working with the public required. Must be available to work days, evenings and weekends. We offer starting pay of $11 per hour, paid training program, and a casual yet business like work environment! Please apply in person at our main office on Meigs Road in Vergennes, or send a resume and letter of interest to: COUNTRY HOME PRODUCTS P0 Box 240, HR Dept. SD272 Vergennes, VT 05491 Fax 802-877-1229 jobs@countryhomeproducts.com Job Hotline 802-877-1235

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►E M P L O Y M E N T & B U S I N E S S O P P . L IN E A D S : 75C a word. ►L E G A L S : Starting at 35C a word. ►R E A L E S T A T E + W E L L N E S S : 25 words for $10. Over 25: 504/word. # ►R E A L E S T A T E P H O T O A D S : 25 + photo, $50, until it sells. ►L IN E A D S : 25 words for $10. Over 25: 50C/word. ►D IS P L A Y A D S : $18.50/col. inch. ►A D U L T A D S : $20/col. inch. All line ads must be prepaid. We take VISA, MASTERCARD & cash, of course.

Sage M arketing

Local Coordinator

g Reps

Perfect opportunity for civic-minded individuals,

irly! 6 -9 PM Sun-Thurs.This is a fu n p a rt-tim e jo b pay. G reat fo r s tu d e n ts o r retirees. M u s t have > rtation.

Country Home Products is an Equal Opportunity Employer.

Find host families and supervise international high school students, build relationships with high schools and community groups. Compensation

g M anager d m o tiv a te d in d iv id u a ls n e e d e d t o g e n e ra te

for each student placement, earn exciting cash

a t v a rio u s tra d e show s a ro u n d th e n o rth e a s t

incentives and travel awards; make life-long

a se lf-sta rte r w ith re lia b le tra n s p o rta tio n . Pay

friendships around the world; work from home/

te w ith e xp e rie n ce . W ill pay th e r ig h t p e rso n m m issio n . M eals, m ile a g e a n d h o te l costs p a id able.

C o ir n r u H om e

volunteers and persons involved in the community.

make your own hours, support and training are provided. Call Danielle at (800) 322-4678 ext. 5164 or fax cover letter and resume to (203) 399-5598

F ax re su m e to 8 6 2 -0 6 3 7

or email dcarpino@aifs.com

o r c a ll M ik e o r A n n e @ 8 6 2 - 0 6 2 3

V is it w w w .a c a d e m ic y e a r.o rg

to s e t u p a n in te r v ie w .

Northeastern Family Institute NFI, an expanding statewide mental health treatment system for children, adolescents andfamilies, is seeking to fill thefollowing position:

S h a r e d L iv in g P r o v id e r s We are seeking a non-smoking active individual or couple interested in sharing their home with a young energetic woman who would like to forward her transition to adulthood. If you are interested in joining our person-centered team, developing positive relationships, and supporting this individual in achieving her goals and dreams, we encourage you to apply. CVS will provide a generous tax-free stipend, a com prehensive training package, and ongoing supports. Experience working in the field of developmental disabilities preferred. Please contact Lisa Weinstein for an application and for more information.

CVS 655-0511 lw e in s te in @ c v s v t.o r g

Assistant Financial/Business Manager Fast-paced, non-profit agency looking for a dynamic individual to manage budget development, cash flow, financial analysis & projections, payables, and receivables. Competitive salary and benefit package provided in a creative, high-energy work environment. BA in Accounting or Business and relevant experience required. Please send cover letter, resume and salary requirements to: B o b b ie D a v is y H R M a n a g e r

E ssex J unction R ecreatio n b P a rks T h e sucessful ca n d id ate m u s t he age 18 o r o ld e r a n d have experience w o r k in g w it h y o u th . R e s p o n s ib ilitie s shall in c lu d e se t-u p , c o m m u n ic a tin g w it h p a re n ts , a s s u rin g safety o f s tu d e n ts and fa c ilita tin g p ro g ra m a c tiv itie s . A l l a p p lic a n ts m u s t have a b ility to o b ta in R ed C ro s s C P R adn F ir s tA i d c e rtific a tio n . P o s itio n a va ila b le 2 0 -h o u rs p e r week. Pays $ 8 .0 0 p e r h o u r. D e a d lin e : F e b ru a ry 13, 2 0 0 4 . F o r a d d itio n a l in f o r m a t io n , please c a ll 878-1375. F o r c o n s id e ra tio n , please send le tte r a nd resum £ to :

Essex Ju nction R ecreation and Parks

N F I V erm on t

75 M a p le S treet

P .O . B o x 1 4 1 5 W illis to n ,

E ssex [unction, V erm o n t 05452

V T 0 5 4 9 5

o r e - m a il b o b b ie d a v is @ n a fi.c o m

EOE

• E O E

Construction - Full-time: S.D. Ireland Construction Companies have immediate openings for the following I areas:

DATACOORDINATOR/RECEPHONIST

I I I I I I I

■ | |

General Laborers: willingness to take direction, show up, work hard, work outside. Tasks will include digging, lugging, moving, etc. Heavy Equipment Operaton Excavator and bulldozer operators with minimum 2-years experience. Pipe layers: 1-year experience required. cJ f= Project Superintendent: Management position requires minimum 5-years supervisory experience in heavy construction, knowledge of all aspects of site work including layout, water, sewer, storm and roadway construction. This is a “hands-on” professional construction position in a company committed to performing quality work in a fast-paced, rapidly changing environment. cg= Service Technician: must have heavy equipment experience, be motivated, flexible and a team player.

VERM O NTAD U LTLEARNING F u ll-tim e P ro g ra m S p e c ia lis t (Burlington based) Seeking exp erien ced e d u cato r and vo lu n teer coordinator to implement a variety of HIV prevention program m ing. A large part of this position will include working with team m em b ers developing new programs to reach individuals at risk statewide. Knowledge of HIV/AIDS is essential, as is experience working non-judgmentally with diverse populations. Strong comm unication, presentation and com puter skills are im portant; reliable tra n sp o rta tio n is a

Vermont Adult Learning has an immediate opening for a full-time Data Coordinator/ Receptionist and is looking for a friendly, highly-organized, and customer service oriented individual who will enjoy being a team member alongside a group of dedicated education professionals. This position is responsible for data services including collection, entry, and reporting out of information. Individual will also be responsible for providing front office coverage including answering the telephone, greeting students, sorting mail, and other duties as required. Associate's degree and three years data entry/computer services related work experience required (Access database system preferred). Must be able to handle multiple tasks with a keen eye for detail, set priorities, meet deadlines, and work comfortably with a wide variety of individuals. Send resume and cover letter to:

S .D . I r e l a n d C o n s tr u c tio n is a r a p i d l y g r o w in g c o m p a n y

must. S a lary range: $ 2 5 ,0 0 0 - $ 2 7 ,0 0 0 ; excellent

o f f e r in g a g e n e r o u s b e n e f its p r o g r a m in c lu d in g 4 0 I K ,

benefits. Send co ve r letter and resu m e by

M a u re e n C o o n ey M o o re

m e d i c a l / d e n t a l in s u r a n c e , p a i d v a c a tio n s , e tc . A p p l y in

F e b ru a ry 2 0 t h to:

V e r m o n t A d u lt L e a rn in g

p e r s o n o r b y r e s u m e to :

S.D. IRELAND CONSTRUCTION 100 Grove Street Burlington, VT 05401 Alljob offers are conditional upon satisfactory results from a drug and physical screening. EO E

Peter Jacobsen Program Director, Verm ont C A R E S P.O. Box 5 2 4 8 Burlington, V T 0 5 4 0 2 www.vtcares.org H IV + i n d iv id u a ls e n c o u r a g e d t o

a p p ly . E O E .

1 7 0 0 H e g e m a n A v e n u e , S u ite 3 C o lc h e s te r, V T 0 5 4 4 6 D e a d lin e is S e p te m b e r 5

V ermont A dult Learning is an equal opportunity employer

V erm ont A

dult

L e a r n in g

employment@sevendaysvt.com | SEVENDAYS | february 4-11, 2004 | 47 B 2

M PLO YM ENT; 1 ASSOCIATE Vermont League of (itiet and Toujim VLCT is accepting applications for an Associate in its Municipal Assistance (enter. A key staff member in the center, the Associate provides local government officials with technical assistance, educational workshops, and timely information about their roles, responsibilities, and statutory authority. Primary duties include responding to telephone inquiries from local governments; writing monthly articles on municipal governance; developing model ordinances; and delivering educational workshops. A full job description is available at www.vlct.org under classifieds. Bachelor’s degree and two-years experience in state/local government preferred. Hiring range: $26,000 - $33,000 DOQ. Excellent benefits package. Please send resume and cover letter in confidence to: „ ___ HumanResources, VLCT 89 MainStreet, Suite4 Montpelier, VT 05602 oremail tojobsearch@vlct.orq

IT HW E S T E R N C O U N SE L IN G & SUPPORT

SERVICES

D evelopm ental Hom e E nergetic p e rs o n /c o u p le in Franklin C ou nty w ith available mother-in-law apartm ent or living space w ith separate entrance n e ede d fo r y o u n g w o m a n w ith d e v e lo p m e n ta l/p h y s ic a l challenges. Young w om an desires in d e p e n d e n ce balanced w ith some supervision. Person/couple will become part o f person's team and receive a generous stipend. Contact Amy at 524-6555 x609 for more inform ation.

VERMONTLEAGUE

EOE » Resume review will begin February 23.

<rCmES^TOWNS

Personal Care A ttendant Seeking personal care attendants and respite providers to support children w ith disabilities in their homes and com munities w ithin Franklin and Grand Isle counties. Ideal candidates w ill have reliable transportation, preferred to have past experience w ith persons w ith disabilities and the a b ility to take direction from fam ily members. Afternoons and weekends available. For more inform ation, contact Claire D unnett at 868-3523 x228.

Hum an Resources Generalist O v e rs e e th e r e c r u itm e n t, s e le c tio n a n d h ir in g o f e m p lo y e e s fo r th e c o m p a n y . D e v e lo p

Child & Fam ily Therapist

a n d c o o rd in a te tra in in g , s ta ff re c o g n itio n , c o m p a n y c o m m u n ic a tio n s , s t a f f o r ie n ta tio n ,

Interested in being p a rt o f a g ro u p practice th a t includes a

h a n d b o o k s , jo b d e s c r ip t io n s a n d v a r io u s o t h e r e m p lo y e e p r o g r a m s . A s s is t as a d m in is tr a tiv e s u p p o r t f o r th e H u m a n R e s o u rc e D e p a rtm e n t (be n e fits, c o m p e n s a tio n , p a yro ll p ro c e s s in g , a n d file m a in te n a n c e ).

. •^ ■

Requirements: C o lle g e d e g re e in b u s in e s s , a d m in is t r a t io n o r re la te d fie ld . M in im u m

2 y e a rs o f e x p e r ie p p e jn H j^ im a n R e s o u rc e s . E x c e lle n t in te r p e r s o n a l s k ills t o in te r a c t e ffe ctively w ith e m p lo ye e s, m a n a g e rs a n d s u p e rv is o rs ^ p u b lic s p e a k in g s k ills p re fe r re d . M u s t b e p r o f i c i e n t w it h M i c r o s o f t W o r d , E x c e l, O u t lo o k a n d P o w e r P o in t. T h is p o s itio n re q u ire s a w e ll o rg a n iz e d in d iv id u a l w h o is a b le t o w o r k w e ll u n d e r p re s s u re ,

s u p p o rtiv e team o f therapists, coverage o f yo u r a fte r hours emergencies and efficient billing staff? Consider joinin g NCSS as a licensed clinician w ho provides outpatient services to children, adolescents and th e ir fa m ilie s.T h is fu ll-tim e fee -fo r-service position has excellent individual earning potential and a complete

ta k e in it ia t iv e , b e a c c o u n ta b le a n d w o r k in a m u lti- t a s k e n v f r o n m e n t w it h fle x ib ilit y

benefits package. After-school and evening hours are a priority,

a n d a p o s itiv e a ttitu d e .

bu t otherwise the schedule is flexible. Send resume and cover

S to w e o ffe r s a c o m p e t it iv e s a la ry a n d b e n e fits p a c k a g e in c lu d in g m e d ic a l/ d e n t a l

letter to the address below. No phone calls, please. E.O.E

c o v e ra g e ,

4 0 1 k, s to c k p u rc h a s e p la n , d is a b ilit y & life in s u ra n c e , p a id v a c a tio n , a n d

g re a t re c re a tio n a l b e n e fits . S o m e w e e k e n d w o r k re q u ire d d u r in g th e w in t e r m o n th s .

Please send resum e and letter o f interest to: Stowe M ountain Resort, Julie Frailey - H um an Resource M anager 5781 M ountain Road • Stowe, VT 05672 253-354° or fax 253-3544 • jfrailey@ stowe.com

Clinician/O utreach Specialist O p p o rtu n ity to w o rk in a c o m m u n ity s e ttin g as a fu ll-tim e Master's-level clinician providing both client and staff services. Responsibilities include screening, assessment and tre a tm e n t services to adults recovering from psychiatric illness, providing consultation and training to the staff of Community Rehabilitation and Treatment (CRT) programs. Clinical and adm inistrative skills are necessary to determ ine program e lig ib ility, tro u b le -sh o o t and m aintain q u a lity services and d o cu m e n ta tio n standards. Experience w ith com m unity-based outreach, client-centered

State o f Verm ont Departm ent o f Aging and Disabilities Registered N u rse s to the position o f

PUBLIC HEALTH NURSE SURVEYOR

treatm ent planning, substance abuse, continuing stay hospital reviews and meeting quality docum entation standards. Master's degree w ith 3-5 years experie nce and c o m m itm e n t to th e inclusion o f adults w ith psychiatric disabilities in the community. Send letter o f interest to address below.

J ob Co d e 441400

W hat We O ffer Participate in surveys o f long-term care and other health facilities to ensure compliance with regulations, prom ote quality o f care and improve facility and program standards. Home-based positions require current licensure as a Registered Nurse and experience in a supervisory or adm inistrative role. Competitive salaries and excellent benefits.

W ho We A re

Apply online at www.vtstatejobs.info or contact the VT

A progressive com m unity mental health center serving Franklin and Grand Isle counties.

Departm ent o f Personnel at 1-800 -640 -1657.

NCSS, HR Dept., 107 Fisher Pond Rd., St. Albans, VT 05478

T h e S t a t e o f V e r m o n t i s a n Eq u a l O p p o r t u n i t y / A f f i r m a t i v e A c t i o n E m p l o y e r .

Com petitive wages,flexible schedule,collaborative w ork setting, affordable health and dental insurance, free life & disability insurance, excellent retirem ent plan

E.O.E. .♦

ip. ■*;

48B | february 4-11, 2004 | SEVENDAYS | employment@sevendaysvt.com

M PLO YM EN T Are you interested in working for the leader in organic-based lawn care? NaturaLawn of America in Burlington is currently hiring. Visit us at www.nl-amer.com/work.htm for position descriptions or e-mail vtturfman@aol.com.

Seasonal Sales Representative

A cupuncture Verm ont

CONTROLLER

1 .. .

O R I E.N T A .L

M E D 1C A i

Our client, a Burlington area distribution company seeks hands-on controller responsible for monthly financial statement preparation, and analysis, monthly account reconciliations, reporting to CEO. 5 years experience, proficient in Excel, with good communication skills. Full-time position with benefits package.

C L I N I C

Part-time Office Assistant wanted to work every Wednesday and fill in on vacations and personal days. Basic duties include: insurance billing, scheduling, answering the phone and filing. We will train the right individual.

C a ll K a te at 8 62 -8880

Country Home Products, manufacturer and marketer of the DR® and NEUTON™ brands of Outdoor Power Equipment, is looking for results-oriented sales people to staff our busy season.

E-mail resume to postmaster@bwc-cpas.com

Country Home Products offers starting pay of $10 per hour, plus commission and bonuses, flexible scheduling and paid training. If you have sales and/or call center experience, are computer literate and thrive in a fast-paced, results-oriented environment, apply now! Walk-in interviews available on Mondays 9 am to 4 pm, or send, email, or fax your resume and letter of interest to:

is seeking a

Looking to Play Competitive Amateur Soccer?

Student Affairs Coordinator

COUNTRY HOME PRODUCTS®, Inc. P0 Box 240, HR Dept. SD271 Vergennes, VT 05491 Fax 802-877-1229 jobs@countryhomeproducts.com Job Hotline 802-877-1235'

1/1DESIGN|BUILDa SCHOOL

__________________

C o u iT ru Hom e

Country Home Products is an Equal Opportunity Employer.

NASW.

The Vermont Amateur Soccer League, the state's only US Adult Soccer Association-sanctioned league, is currently accepting individuals and teams for its Men’s Open and Women's Open Diyisionfyor the Simmer 2004 season.

Organized, flexible, self-motivated and enjoys talking on the phone. Computer savvy with excellent communication, multi tasking and management skills. Demonstrated interest in design, building, art and/or education is preferred. Duties include communicating with current and prospective students; managing daily office operations, course registrations and student records; administering our database; working closely with a small team to grow and develop this dynamic school.

If you seek a great soccer environment, USSF-certtfied officiating, and the best amateur soccer in Vermont, visit www.vermontamateursoccer.com, or call (802) /238-2703 for more information.

Send resume, cover letter and references by 2/9 to: Pat Pinkston, Executive Director Yestermorow Design/Build School 189 VT Route 100, Warren, VT 05674

N atio n al A ssociation of S o cial W o rkers

2 0 0 4 Executive Director Search: Part-time EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR for the Vermont Chapter of National Association of Social Workers, a 500 member professional association based in Montpelier, whose mission is to serve its members and promote all aspects of social work policy and practice. Strong interpersonal, supervisory, financial management, and organizational skills are required. Experience.managing an association, working . with professional Boards, as well as an ability to advance social'wdrk issues, poli'dy and practice on behalf of ihe Chapter membership is'desirable. MSW, or BSW and 4 years experience required. Preference given to Licensed Clinicians and/or ACSW members. Resume by March 1, 2004. Please send resume to: F r a n k R e e d , S e a rc h C o m m itte e C h a ir N A S W - V e rm o n t P O B o x 1348 M o n tp e lie r, V T 0 5 6 0 1

TOWN PLANNER We are seeking a full-time professional individual ., to be responsible for overseeing the Planning and Zoning functions With a full-time staff of four, in a growing community^ Williston has a population of 8,000 and seeks sorpeone with knowledge? and experience in developing and implementing effective growth management techniques. Master's degree is desirable plus a minimum four-years of relevant experience. For more information call 802-878-0919 or visit our web site (http://town.williston.vt.us). Send resurrteyvith cover letter by Fe b ru a ry 20,

Celebrating 20 years in business we're proud of our commitment to working hard AND having fun, our excellent benefits (medical, dental, 3 weeks vacation to start, stock ownership, profit sharing, etc.) and competitive salaries.

Interested? Please email your resume/cover letter to Randee G (randeeg@gardeners.com). Thanks!

SUPPLY

COMPANY

www.gardeners.com

Vermont Adult Learning Making it Work Program/VAL 1700 Hegeman Avenue Colchester, VT 05446

Manager's Office 7900 Williston Road Williston, Vermont 05495

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EOE

mployee-owned Gardener's Supply Co./ E Dutch Gardens is one of America's favorite catalog & web sources for innovative gardening products, greenhouses and flower bulbs. We need a Call Center Sales Supervisor with infectious enthusiasm to be our chief sales program architect, trainer & motivator! You will develop and supervise our new "CC Sales Team" and lead this core group in the development and implementation of sales programs & trainings for the entire CC, including: inbound phone upsales, in/outbound greenhouse sales and product & gardening Q&A e-sales. Ideal candidate: (1) very experienced, supportive supervisor who loves to coach a wide variety of individuals & develop teams; (2) loves to sell with integrity & has experience doing it well in a Call Center; (3) spreadsheet & budgeting experience; (4) excellent verbal/written communication skills; (5) avid gardener!

Full-time position working with adults entering the workforce. Position includes teaching w ork; re a d in e ss skills a n d d e ve lo p in g ^hbrt-tefm training sites in Chittenden County. W e a re looking for a team p lay e r w ho p a y s attention tdPdetail an d has interfflediatdMev^i cJcttaputech skills. BA and teaching, counseling or human service e x p e rie n c e re q u ire d . K n o w le d g e of local businesses preferred. Pay range $ 1 0 .9 2 to $ 1 1 .25/ho u r with generous benefit package. S e n d c o v e r letter, resu m e a n d 3 letters o f reference by Friday, Feb ru ary 13, 2 0 0 4 to:

2 0 0 4 , to:

o r fre e d @ d d m h s .s ta te .v t.u s .

C a ll C e n te r S a le s S u p e rv is o r

JOB COACHAEACHER

W illis to n , V e r m o n t

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Environm ent* far Maatili

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Tutor/Licensed Teacher W illiam stown Middle High School

Staff Accountant

Williamstown Middle High School has an immediate need for a tutor 2.5 hours a day, Monday through Friday. The successful candidate must hold a current teaching license. Interested candidates should send a cover letter, resume, three letters of reference and certification documents to:

MorrisSwitzer-Envjronments for Health seeks a full time Staff Accountant who is self-directed, organized, and motivated. Full-time position reports to Controller and works closely with senior management. R e s p o n s ib ilitie s m a y in c lu d e : financial statement preparation for multiple companies, G/L and bank account reconciliation, fixed assets, job cost' accounting, payroll preparation, accounts payable processing and various account analysis. Ideal candidate will have BS in Accounting (AS considered), plus two years accounting experience.

Kathleen Morris-Kortz

We offer internal training, competitive salary and great benefits including medical/dental/401(k), bonus and a team-oriented workplace.

Williamstown Middle High School

Send letter and resume to:

120 Hebert Road

M o irisS w itze r~ E n v iro n m e n ts fo r H ealth 185 T a lc o tt R d ., W illis to n , V T 0 5 4 9 5 Fax: ( 8 0 2 ) 8 7 8 -9 3 5 0 E-m a il: h r@ m o rrissw itze r.co m V isit us a t w w w .m o rrissw itze r.co m

Williamstown, VT 05679 Position will remain open util filled. EOE i l :

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employment@ sevendaysvt.com | SEVENDAYS j february 4-11, 2004 | 49B *•=<0^wr3*$gf9«l$l'

EMPLOYMENT Openings at the Pine Ridge School Join us in our mission to help teens w ith learning difficulties define and achieve success. We are currently seeking a motivated and caring individual to teach full o r p a rt-tim e in our residential program. Applicant should have experience working w ith female adolescents and a strong desire to learn. Pine Ridge School offers an excellent training ground for people interested in the following fields: Social S e rv ice s , E d u c a tio n , C o u n s e lin g , O u t d o o r a n d E x p e rie n tia l E d u ca tio n . Seeking

part-time Staff members to work one weekend per m onth in the Residential

Program. Lead trips, organize activities, and supervise students during unstructured time.

B A R R Y ! CALLEBAUT Barry Callebaut U.S.A In c ., the international leader in chocolate production has an immediate opening for a job-share position as an Office Assistant/Receptionist. This position is 8:30-5 PM, Wed-Friday, must be able to cover alternative days as needed. Associate’s degree in appropriate discipline plus a minimum of two-years of relevant experience with a multi-line phone system. Must have excellent computer skills including Excel. If interested, please fill out an application at:

400 Industrial Park Road, St. Albans, VT 05478

Resume accepted until position filled. For more inform ation or to apply, please contact:

by February 16, 2004

B e rn a d e tte P ark er, A d m in is t a t iv e A s s is ta n t to D e p t o f R e s id e n tia l Life 9505 W illis to n Rd, W illis to n , V T 0 5 4 9 5 P h o n e 8 0 2 -4 3 4 -6 9 5 0

employment@sevendaysvt.conn

FAX at 8 0 2 -4 3 4 -5 5 1 2 e -m a il: b p a r k e r @ p in e r id g e s c h o o l.c o m

P IN E R ID G E SCH O O L H

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A Division of the Howard Center for Human S ervices 102 S. Winooski Ave. Burlington, V T 05401 www.HowardCenter.org

Shared Living Providers

P R O P E R T Y M A N A G ER Fast-paced Property Management Department is seeking a LIHTC experienced individual who is enthusiastic and very detail-oriented to perform a variety of duties. Must be well organized, accurate and enjoy multi-tasking. A diverse portfolio comprising commercial and multi-family rental, including resident cooperatives and single room occupancy. Advertise and show vacant units and select appropriate tenants. Ensure appropriate maintenance. Keep accurate and up-to-date records. Ensure compliance with all income and occupancy restrictions. Share on-call duties. Qualifications: Experience in residential and commercial property management. Health benefits and generous holiday and vacation policy. Salary commensurate with qualifications. Please send cover letter and resume by 2/9/04 to: Asset Manager, BCLT PO Box 523 • Burlington, VT 05402 No phone calls. • Equal Opportunity employer. TMs position Is to be (Hied immediately. Women and minorities are encouraged to apply:

Flexible team players needed to provide hom es and support to persons with developmental disabilities. Excellent tax-free com pensation, training, and working with a supportive team provided by Howard Community Services. Must live in Chittenden County. Contact M elissa at 802-652-2123.

Shared Living Providers Live in the MMU School District? Family, couple or individual needed to work a s part of a team providing a home and supports to a 20-year-old young man with developmental disabilities. He n eeds help with all a sp e cts of his daily living. Som e activities that he enjoys include being in a swing, hot tub, listening to m usic and being told stories.

1 st

floor bedroom and bathroom

required. Bryan Civalier will be accepting phone calls on behalf of the family at 802-859-1274..

Respite Providers Su p po rt pro vid ers are n e e d e d to provide su p p o rts to in d ivid u als with developmental disabilities. Howard Com munity S e rv ic e s acts a s a listing agency. After the screening process is complete, providers are listed out to co n su m e rs and others on their team that will em ploy providers. Various opportunities are available that offer a flexible schedule and skill-building challenges. Hours and locations vary. Contact M elissa at 802-652-2123.

On-Call Substitutes Opportunities to provide supports to individuals with developmental disabilities, te e n s and ad ults, in three H C S residen tial h o m es located throughout Chittenden County and one-day program located in Burlington. O n-call, variable hours. Paid orientation and training. This program offers an excellent opportunity to get acquainted with H C S and sometimes provides a stepping stone to other employment opportunities. Contact M elissa at 802-652-2123.

Residential Instructors

A c c o u n t in g M a n a g e r

diagnosed adolescent clients and a dynamic team in a residential treatment

IS IS , an outdoor co m p a n y th at d e sig n s and s e lls clothing for w om en

setting. Skill and experience in supporting clients with developmental disabilities

only, is lo o kin g fo r an A c c o u n tin g M an ag er. Jo b r e s p o n s ib ilit ie s

and co-occurring mental health issu es is needed. Verbal crisis management

include all a c c o u n tin g fu n c tio n s, in clu d in g g e n e ra l led g er, A R , AP,

skills and relationship building skills are highly desirable. Applicants must

and bank reports. T h e A ccounting M an ag er will h a v e a clo se w orking

be comfortable with working most of their hours during weekends. Applicants

re la tio n sh ip w ith c o m p a n y m a n a g e m e n t , p ro v id in g r e p o r ts an d

must show strong communication and problem solving abilities within a team.

support for financial a n a ly sis and b u sin e ss d evelo p m en t. T h is position

Reliable transportation and a willingness to transport clients is mandatory. R esum e to Mark Margolis or e-mail markm@howardcenter.org.

re q u ire s high d e g r e e o f a tte n tio n to d e ta il, stro n g w ritte n / v e r b a l com m unication skills, a s well a s the ability to m u lti-task and problem so lve. At le a st 5 y e a r s a cco u n tin g e x p e rie n c e re q u ire d . P ro ficie n cy w ith a c c o u n tin g s o f t w a r e a n d E x c e l r e q u ir e d , e x p e r ie n c e w ith m anufacturing co stin g helpful. I S I S is a sm all but grow ing co m p a n y

‘

A wonderful opportunity to gain valuable clinical skills working with dually

with a h ig h -e n e rg y and fa st-p a c e d e n v iro n m e n t. P o sitive a ttitu d e , e n th u s ia s m an d an a b ility to e x h ib it g r a c e u n d e r p r e s s u r e a r e a m ust!

Weekend Provider Generous tax-free stipend to support a young man in your home from Friday 5:00 p.m. through Sunday 6:00 p.m., three weekends/month. He enjoys playing board games, watching some TV, playing the guitar, singing and drawing. The person who works with this young man will have to have strong boundaries, flexibility, and the ability to be a team player a s well a s follow a strict supervision

To ap p ly, p le a s e se n d c o v e r le tte r an d r e s u m e to

policy. Extensive training provided, and backup assistan ce is available. Send resum e to Doris Clayton-Viens or email Doriscv@ howardcenter.org.

/S/S, 1 M ill Street, Suite 126, Burlington, VT 05401

E O E /T T Y Individuals with disabilities encouraged to apply

If * Trrrvrr’*-J»' {••fiTO'j.i sw fXi-rjz'v'S' ■ ' V5*' ’o'fmr□ february 4-11, 2004 | SEVENDAYS | employment@ sevendaysvt.com

It's easy tospot recruiters whoadvertise in SEVENDAYS D a r t m o u t h H it c h c o c k M e d ic a l

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T ra d e sw o m e n J * * * X*

To get results, advertise in SEVEN DAYS Employment Classifieds. Call Michelle Brown at (802) 865-1020 x21. -

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SEVEN DAYS Where the good jobs are

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employment@ sevendaysvt.com | SEVENDAYS | february 4-11, 2004 | 51B

EMPLOYMENT VERMONT ENERGY

New England Federal Credit Union

INVESTMENT CORPORATION

nefcu.com

New England Federal Credit Unioni, Vermont's largest Credit Union with 1 branch locations, is a growing organization committed to price; service and excellence. Please visit our website - www.nefcu.com to learn more about the great opportunities and benefits that exist at NEFCU.

CONSUMER/COMMERCIAL LOAN SERVICES SUPERVISOR NEFCU is seeking a Consumer/Commercial Loan Services Supervisor to be responsible for supervising and training of the consumer and commercial loan servicing staff and maintaining integrity of the servicing of consumer and commercial loans. The successful candidate will have knowledge of federal lending regulations and commercial and consumer lending skills. Candidates must have decision-making and effective communication skills and an ability to prioritize various demands in a fast-paced environment. Professionalism, flexibility, management skills and an ability to lead and motivate staff are critical to success in this position.

TELLER Opportunity exists for a part-time teller - to cover the hours of 11:15-4:15 p.m. NEFCU tellers have excellent, effective communication skills, are friendly and personable, and provide our members with excellent customer service. Qualified candidates must show attention to detail, be knowledgeable with computers and demonstrate accuracy. Cash handling and customer service experience required. If you would like the opportunity to work in a professional atmosphere where teamwork and customer service are hallmarks of the organization, please consider working with us.

Come join Vermont’s innovative energy efficiency organization! We’re a non profit organization dedicated to saving energy and improving our environment. We’re looking fo r energetic, enthusiastic and environmentally motivated individuals to join our terrific team. These positions requires excellent customer service, written and oral communication, word processing, spread sheet and database skills. EOE.

RETAIL MARKET MANAGER Lead Efficiency Vermont’s activities in the retail efficient products market. Develop relationships with consumers, suppliers and manufacturers of energy efficient products sold at retail. A Bachelor’s degree in business and experience supervising people and planning and managing energy efficiency activities required. Professional training/experience in retail marketing/merchandising desirable.

PROJECT MANAGER Manage energy efficiency projects in large & small industrial, commercial and institutional buildings, including technical and financial analysis. Work with building owners, developers, architects, engineers & contractors. Bachelor’s degree in engineering or related field required. Mechanical or electrical engineer or CEM preferred.

ASSOCIATE PROJECT MANAGER Work with Business Energy Services Project Managers to manage business projects. Perform basic energy analysis, systems energy modeling, energy efficiency measure screening and incentive calculations fo r prescriptive projects. Knowledge o f building systems, energy use and analysis, and construction preferred. Associate’s degree or similar combination of education and experience required. Please email cover letter and resume by 2/27 to:

resume@veic.org or mail to: VEIC Recruitment 255 South Champlain Street Burlington, VT 05401

If you are interested in working with us, and would like to be part of njynamic team at NEFCU please send your letter of interest and resume/application by email to HR@nefcu.com or by mail to NEFCU, Human Resources, P.O. Box 527, Williston, VT05495-5027.

Ficlency Vermont ywnt$amefocmtst&mm$i

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o m m u n it y

a p it a l

of Central Vermont

LOAN O F F IC E R

CENTRAL VERMONT

COMMUNITY

ACTION COUNCIL INC.

CVCAC's mission is to help people achieve economic sufficiency with dignity. We need an experienced, creative and committed person to join our development team.

Nursing at DHMC: Challenging Work, Rewarding Life

RIVE

COMMUNITY CAPITAL of Central Vermont, formerly known as the Central Vermont Revolving Loan Fund, seeks interested applicants for a new Loan Officer position. Come join our growing team to help small businesses get started and grow in the Central Vermont region. The successful applicant w ill work with loan application packages, staff the Loan Committee, and service COMMUNITY CAPITAL'S growing loan portfolio. A successful candidate should have familiarity with business and/or lending; excellent attention to detail and experience with 1inancial and information management systems; good written and oral communication skills; working knowledge of Microsoft Office products; experience working with public grant programs, following regulations, and filing reports; and have a demonstrated ability to work independently and as part of a team. Bachelor's degree preferred. Starting range from $ 11.82 to $13.1 7/hour plus generous benefit package; the hours for this position may vary weekly between 30 and 40 to average 32 hours/week. Position is expected to grow in responsibility for the right individual. Submit letter of inquiry and resume post marked by February 13, 2004 to:

P e r s o n n e l A d m in is tra to r C e n tra l V T C o m m u n ity A ctio n C o u n c il, In c. 195 U S R o u te 302 - B e rlin B a r re , V T 05641 L b e a u d o in @ c v c a c .o rg EOE

Your growth is our future.

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Dartmouth -H itchcock M edical C enter Lebanon, NH 03756 • www.dhmc.0r2:

? -X/0-3 J r:*~■ tfZiffi.b'i i tY-PlORf ' A.V';- VV7.J.J- :Vv\ ' G:;':V ‘ 52B | february 4-11, 2004 | SEVENDAYS | employment@sevendaysvt.com

J jjjjfflc L A S S I FI E D E MPLOYM ENT EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR

AM/PM

GROUNDS FOR HEALTH A non-profit organization working for the prevention of cervical cancer in coffee-growing regions is looking for>a Spanish speaking person interested in womens issues in an international arena. Applicant should be able to work independendy, have good organizational, time managementand fundraising skills. To apply, or for more information, contact Marcela Pino at 802-865-4480 or e-mail at marcelap@coffee-ent.com

Waitstaff

ily Center, a private, nonprofit D evelopm ent Director w ith |

fundraising skills and someone in and passion ft

Family Center and our mission,

;sful can d id ate m u st be h

otivated, have a high en erg y

able to m anage m ultiple >pen until fille d Please send co

V ER M O N T LAND TR U S T Interested in working for a successful non-profit, helping to : conserve Vermont’s productive landscape? Qualifications for the following positions include: desire to work flexibly as part of a collaborative team; confidence to take initiative and work in a selfrdirected fashion; and general understanding of and interest in land conservation. We are seeking individuals who are detail oriented, comfortable with technology, and relate well to people to fill the following two positions in our Richmond office: Conservation Field Assistant (full-time): If you are skilled at balancing field and office responsibilities and can combine working with technology and people, we want to talk with you. As a field assistant you will be working directly with owners of conserved land and be responsible for documenting and visiting conserved properties. Specific duties include conducting site work necessary to prepare documentation reports and maps; monitoring the status of easements; and providing assistance to owners of conserved property. We seek someone with excellent computer skills including experience with G IS, and the ability to interpret real estate and legal documents. Ideal candidate will have agriculture background, Bachelors degree, working knowledge of GIS, and two to three years of land conservation experience. Salary: $24,832 plus benefits. Office Manager/Project Assistant (30 hours/week): We are seeking a person who enjoys a variety of responsibilities and is adept at multi tasking to provide administrative, secretarial and technical support. Duties include preparing and disseminating outreach materials, screening inquires, managing a database, organizing meetings and special events, and assisting with grant applications. Clerical work includes purchasing, reception/telephone, correspondence, copying, filing, and mail. We seek someone with excellent computer skills; experience with GIS and digital photography a plus. Ideal candidate will have a Bachelors or Associates degree, and two to three years office management experience. Salary: TBD. To apply, send resume and cover letter indicating position of interest to Search Committee, Vermont Land Trust, 8 Bailey Avenue, Montpelier, VT 05602. Positions open until filled.

Delivery Driver Full/Part-time needed. Evenings/Nights. Clean VT license and drug test required. Vehicle provided.

Apply a h 16 G regory Drive, Suite 3 S. Burlington or fax resum e to (802)864-5450

Success to lead our annual e are looking for so m eo n e

APPLY IN PERSON AT

30 Main St., Gateway Square, Burlington

-service fam ily ag en cy seeks

and deadlines.This position :er, resum e and salary.history

utive Director Barbara Rachelson tek Lund Family d 76 Glen R 05401 i t Burlington, 1619 or fax: id Family C enter

Ark Veterinary Hospital "Caring people providing excellent pet care for people desiring excellent pet care!" We are looking to add a valuable team member in the position of:

Outpatient Care Technician

w e bring you love. S E V E N DA YS

H ead S ta rt

Ark Veterinary Hospital is a state-of-the-heart veterinary hospital with an awesome staff and highly respected and loved doctors with a focus on the special relationship created by the Family-Pet-Veterinary bond. All staff members are provided a rewarding and rare career development opportunity through a huge commitment by Ark to continuously train our staff. Training focuses on teaching high standards of client service as well as the most recent advances in preventative, diagnostic and therapeutic veterinary care. Ark Veterinary Hospital has a dedicated staff and two veterinarians who will work closely with a new team member. We believe in providing excellent pet medical care while bonding with our clients with consistently superior service in a fun work place environment! As our Out Patient Care Technician you will: • Serve clients and their pets in the exam rooms * Assist the doctors in educating our clients and providing veterinary care • Help to foster the bond between Ark and our clients * Play a vital role in helping all other team members keep our hospital beautiful and running smoothly Ark Veterinary Hospital is an awesome organization to work with! We encourage long-term employment and career development and provide competitive salaries, pet health care, health insurance, paid vacation, 401K retirements benefit and ongoing training. Please send your letter of interest and resume to: A r k V e t e r in a r y H o s p ita l 5 0 7 0 S h e lb u rn e R D

Adm inistrative A ssistant

(B u rlin gto n ): P ro vid e c le rica l and a d m in is tra tiv e su p p o rt for H e a d Sta rt D ire c to r and m a n a g e m e n t staff. R e s p o n s ib le for a n s w e rin g p h o n e s, ta k in g m e e tin g m in u te s, d o c u m e n t filing, m a s s m a ilin g s , g en eral office d u tie s, d a ta b a se entry and c o m m u n ic a tio n w ith s ta ff and H e a d Start fa m ilie s . M u st be e n e rg e tic , p o s itiv e , “c a n - d o ” , m o tiv a te d , an d ab le to w o rk in d e p e n d e n tly and a s part o f a te a m in a b u sy office se ttin g . Q u a lific a tio n s : H ig h s c h o o l d ip lo m a o r G E D req u ired . P le a sa n t p h o n e m a n n e r and c u s to m e r s e rv ice s k ills, exce lle n t verbal and w ritten c o m m u n ic a tio n s k ills, sp e e d , p ro ficie n cy and a c c u ra c y w ith w o rd p ro c e ss in g , M S O ffice , e m a il, in tern e t, d a ta b a se entry and k n o w led g e o f s im p le o ffice m a c h in e s req u ired . P rio r e x p e rie n c e in a c le r ic a l p o s itio n p re fe rre d . $13 to $14 p er hour, d e p e n d in g on e x p e rie n ce an d q u a lific a tio n s. 40 -h o u rs per w eek , full year. Ex ce lle n t b e n e fits. A p p lic a tio n s m u st be received by T h u rsd a y , Fe b ru a ry 12 .

Early Care Advocate (M ilto n ): C o o rd in a te s e rv ic e s for H e a d Sta rt c h ild re n in co lla b o ra tiv e c la s s r o o m . P ro vid e in fo rm a tio n and s u p p o rt to c o lla b o ra tiv e c la s s r o o m staff. C o n d u c t m o n th ly s o cia l s e rv ic e c o n ta c ts w ith H e a d Sta rt fa m ilie s an d su p p o rt p aren t in v o lv e m e n t in p ro g ram ac tiv itie s. Q u a lific a tio n s : A s s o c ia t e ’s d e g ree in Early C h ild h o o d E d u ca tio n o r related e d u c a tio n field re q u ired . K n o w led g e an d e x p e rie n c e p la n n in g an d im p le m e n tin g d e v e lo p m e n ta lly a p p ro p ria te c u rric u lu m an d c la s s r o o m p ra ctice . S ta rtin g w ag e $ n . 37/h o u r. A fter p ro b a tio n a ry perio d , w ag e is $ i 2 . 88/h o ur. B a rg a in in g u n it p o sitio n , in clu d e d in c h ild c a re ratio. 30-h o u rs/w e e k , full year. E x cellen t b e n e fits. A p p lic a tio n s m u s t be / re ceived by T h u rsd a y , Feb ru a ry 5. In te rv ie w s p ro je cte d to o c c u r •/F e b ru a ry 10 . A commitment to social justice and to working with families with limited • financial resources is necessary. Clean driving record and access to reliable transportation required. Must demonstrate physical ability to carry out required tasks. People o f color and from diverse cultural groups especially encouraged to apply. Equal Opportunity Employer. Please submit resume and cover letter with three work references. No phone calls please. Applications may be sent by mail, fa x ( 802) 658-0983 or email: ewilliams@cvoeo.org please specify position next to Search Committee.

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Champlain Valley Head Start, Search Committee 431 Pine Street Burlington, VT 05401

S h e lb u rn e , V T 0 5 4 8 2 o r e m a il to: a rk v e t@ to g e th e r.n e t o r fax: 8 0 2 - 9 8 5 - 5 2 9 7

employment@sevendaysvt.conn employment@sevendaysvt.com employment@sevendaysvt.com Problem-Knowledge Coupler Corporation (PKC) is changing the practice o f medicine. Using our powerful software, healthcare providers can evaluate, diagnose, and treat their patients with the best, most relevant medical knowledge at their fingertips.

M e d ic a l C o n t e n t D e v e l o p e r , G a s t r o e n t e r o l o g y

Duties : Read, understand, integrate, and summarize clinical gastroen terology research, using Microsoft® Office and our own custom software tools. After a period of intensive training, be able to function independ ently, with ongoing, daily review.

Qualifications : Detail oriented, highly organized, and an excellent writer. Candidates should have several years of clinical experience (RN, RD), postgraduate training ifta related field (biochemistry, food science), or both. For more details, see www.pkc.com.

Send resume and cover letter, with salary requirements and the job requisition number: MCD03-01/ 04 , to hr@pkc.com, or

Hum an Resources, PKC Corporation 1 Mill St., Box C 13, Burlington, VT 05401 PKC is an EEO/M/FA//D Employer.

employment@sevendaysvt.com | SEVENDAYS | february

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Organized morning delivery driver. Delivery van provided. Fri, Sat, Sun,7:30am-1 pm. Call Susan at 655-5282.

Peace for Profit? At The Peace Company, we believe that peace is possi ble. We are helping to build a peace economy by offering products and services that promote a new culture o f peace. We are looking for a part-time saleperson to support our institutional sales efforts.

Excellent customer service skills and inside sales experience required. Base pay plus commission. Flexible schedule. Please THE send cover letter & resume to info@thepeacecompany.com

PEACE C O M PA N Y 54 Maple Street Bristol. VT 05443

Restaurant seeking experienced, top-quality servers and part-time bartender. Wine knowledge a plus, enthusiasm a must. (all The Kitchen Table Bistro 434-8686 T H F.

K IT C H E N T A B IiE

BARTENDING SCHOOL 1 H ands-on Training 1 N ation al C ertification J o b A s s is ta n c e

1 I-888-4DRIMKS

.; --

Office Manager/Accounting Local real estate development company seeks an independent and motivated person to join our growing company. Job entails accounting for the management company of our senior living communities in the Northeast, managing the accounts and billing system for our telecommuni cations company, payroll, computers, database management, etc. Associate’s degree in accounting preferred. Salary and benefits based on experience. Send resume to: Green Mountain Development Group 7 Aspen Drive, Suite 1 South Burlington, VT 05403

w w w*ba r t endi ng schooLcom

WANTED The Baird Center for Children and Families A Division of th e Howard C en ter fo r Human S e rv ice s

SCHOOL SOCIAL WORKERS Seeking school social workers for full and parttime immediate openings at the elementary, middle and high school level. Candidates should have a MSW, experience with schools, family outreach, group and individual practice, ca se management, consultation skills and outstanding collaborative abilities. Consider joining a program with a strong commitment to best practice for children and families, supervision, training and professional development. Cover letter and resum e should be submitted to Catherine Simonson, School Services.

1138 Pine Street Burlington, VT 05401 (802) 863-1326 bairdjobs @howardcenter.org www.howardcenter.org

Live-in Caregivers

NORWICH UNIVERSITY

Men and Women

K it'd in 1 S I •>

INSTRUCTOR DEVELOPER Help foster and support the use of technology in teaching and learning at Norwich University, for online and on campus programs. Develop web-based course materials and multimedia, working with faculty and instructional technologists. Assist in developing interactive instructional modules, and in selecting media for online delivery. Assist faculty in using the course management system. Maintain current knowledge of emerging web applications.

Requirements: Bachelor's degree or equivalent education and experience in instructional technology, including experience with web authoring tools, scripting languages, and PC-based multimedia production. Knowledge of user interface design principles, including design of online instruction, desirable. Excellent oral and written communication, customer service, and problem solving skills, and ability to work well in a team-oriented environment with deadlines required. Experience using course management software preferred. Application review begins February 9, 2004.

You choose what days to work and what days to have off! Meet friendly seniors in their homes while assisting with simple daily living activities. $200 $500 $700 $1200

2 day shifts 5 day shifts 7 day sh ifts 12 day sh ifts

Plus your own room; and all food provided by client.

Send cover letter and resume to Instructional Developer Search, Human Resources, Norwich University, 158 Harmon Drive, Northfield, VT 05663, or via email: jobs@norwich.edu N orw ich is an E qual O pportunity Employer offering a comprehensive benefit package th at includes m edical a n d den tal coverage, group life a n d long term disability insurance, flexible spending accounts fo r health a n d dependent care, a retirement annuity program an d tuition scholarships fo r eligible employees a n d their fa m ily members.

fo r fo r fo r fo r

To inquire, please call:

Griswold Special Care 802-862-7200

E O E / T T Y * I n d iv id u a ls w ith d is a b ilit ie s e n c o u r a g e d to a p p ly .

e n n p lo yn n e n t@ se ve n d a ysvt.co n n

Customer Service

TRUSTWORTHY

S tre e tw o rk Case M a n a g e r/ F a m il y S e r v ic e s

Provide case m a n a g e m e n t to hom eless a du lts and fa m ilie s as th e y tra n sitio n to stable housing. S trong co m m u n ica tio n skills & th e a b ility to w o rk w ith varied pop ulatio n s req uired . MSW or BSW w ith e xperience pre ferred . Send resum e and cover le tte r to : Kelley Newell

S h e lt e r

C o o rd in a to r

D ynam ic, creative and organized ind ivid ua l to m anage o u r sh e lte r fo r hom eless fa m ilies. M ust be able to develop and im p le m e n t new pro gram s and p rovide supervision and d ire ctio n to sh e lte r staff. E xcellent c o m m u nication and crisis m a n a g e m e n t skills necessary. MSW and 3-5 years e xperience p re fe rre d . Send resum e to Helen O etjen.

Where

YOU

M ake a Difference

Supports the CEO. Senior VP for Government and External A ffairs and g eneral o p e ra tio n s o f th e Executive Office. Coordinates independent projects, balances conflicting priorities in fast-paced environment BS/BA in business or related fields preferred, AD required. Minimum o f 5 -7 years o f relevant experience in a large organizational settin g . Exceptional

CO TS B u r lin g t o n V T 0 5 4 0 2

CDTS

No phone calls accepted. EOE TTY relay 1-800-545-3323

Verizon is one of the leading providers of wireline and wire less communications services in the world. A Fortune 10 company, our global presence extends to 40 countries in jtje Americas, Europe, Asia and the Pacific. Verizon has'oppor tunities available in the Burlington, VT area.

OPERATORS At Verizon, Operators provide the essential courteous, accu rate and quick service our customers rely on in our 7-day-aweek environment. Your hours may vary, requiring evening, weekend, holidays and/or overtime. These temporary, full-time (40 hours per week) positions begin at $7.31 per hour (current top pay in 5 years will be $12.65 per hour, adjusted yearly), with increases every 6 months until top pay is reached. Verizon provides paid training, a competitive salary and comprehensive benefits, including employer-paid medical, dental and life insurance, and a vision care plan after three months of full-time employment. Eligible employees also receive pension and savings plans, tuition assistance and discounted phone service.

If you are interested, apply right now by calling our Job Hotline toll free, (800) 267-6585, to schedule a testing session, or visit: www.verizon.com/careers. You must p ass all required pre-employment tests to be considered.

Resum es accepted u ntil positions filled .

P .O . B o x 1 6 1 6

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OPERATORS SPECIAL ASSISTANT TO THE CEO

F a m ily

tries: p tries/lT

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Verizon is an equal opportunity/affirmative action employer supporting workforce diversity, M/F/D/V.

ifts: #03-384 j j

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iline w w w .fah c.org or sto p b; Em loym en t Office a t iter Av nue t o co m p lete an app

verizon. com/careers Call: (800) 267-6585

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54B | february 4-11, 2004+1SEVENDAYS )'employment@sevendaysvtiCom

MPLOYMENT Girls Ru^by Coach I

Corrections Mental Health Licensed Mental Health Clinicians

Essex High School

to provide services for men and women in correctional facilities. Assessments individual and group therapy.

iri s R ugby C o a c k p o sitio n available fo r tb e sp rin g 2 0 0 3 - 0 4 season. T h is club s p o rt p o sitio n pays $718

fo r t b e season. In te re s te d c a n d id a te s sh o u ld su b m it letter, re su m e /a p p lic a tio n to:

Ed Hockenbury - 1Education Drive Essex Junction, Vermont 05452 or call 879-5548-EOE

A pply with letter and resume to: K a r in S e id e l, O D 8 3 3 B r o o k ly n S tr e e t

Resume and cover letter to Colleen O’Brien, Psy.D. at cjobrien@gmavt.net

M o r r is v ille , V T 0 5 6 6 1 N o phone calls please.

J^A sc e n sio n Technology Corp. Software Engineer - Production Calibration M ust be an expert in:

M ental H ealth C linician /ADHD C linic

Counseling Services of Addison County, Inc.

• C and C++ • Linear algebra of 6 DOF reference frames and coordinate systems transformations. An understanding of electromagnetic and magnetic fields along with exposure to motion controls, motors and electronics would be a plus.

Crisis Intervention Clinician ACCESS, Counseling Service of Addison County's Crisis Service seek a Clinician to join dynamic team providing on-call crisis intervention, and a variety of clinical modalities of clinical work w/children and families. No overnight or weekend shifts. Experience in crisis intervention, conflict resolution and behavior management required. Ability and desire to collaborate w/multiple resources a must. Full-time w/benefit package.

We are also looking fo r temporary help in the areas o f electronics and optics. Apply to eng-jobs@ascension-tech.com by email only. Ascension Technology Corporation located in Milton makes state o f the art motion tracking devices.

Resume to:

CSAC Attn: Marilyn Lang 89 Main Street Middlebury, VT 05753 or email to mlang@csac-vt.org

(E N S O U T H S U P E R V IS O R Y U N I O N ■

O ffic e A ssistan t: dog-loving in d iv id u al needed fo r sm all b u t busy O p to m e try practice. P a rt to fu ll-tim e , m u st be dependable, personable, p lea sa n t an d bave good basic m ec h an ic al skills. S om e m edical office experience is nice. I will t r a i n .'

2003-2004 Licensed Opening

O tter Creek A ssociates^ seeking a licensed mental health clinician to join our expanding A D H D service. Prior experience w ith m ultidisciplinary assessment and treatm ent o f A D H D required. Full or part-tim e position possible.

Alesia Henry c/o Otter Creek Associates 86 Lake Street Burlington, VT 05401

Or by email t o : alesia@ocamhs.com

EOE

SHELBURNE COMMUNITY SCHOOL 3rd Grade Classroom Teacher - Long-term Sub. < Starting approximately April 1, 2004-June 15, 2004. 1.00 FTE. Please apply online to www.schoolspring.com.

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VT’s Next Media Mogul 1.

A ssist in p ro vid in g care o f a n d activities for r

2003-2004 Non-Licensed Openings *<

p re sch o o l ch ild re n , a g e s 3-5 at Sm ilie E le m e n ta ry S ch o o l, Bo lto n . 2 0 -h o u rs/w e e k ' *

CHAMPLAIN VALLEY UNION HIGH SCHOOL Custodians ■Champlain Valley Union H.S. is seeking 2nd shift custodians. Hours 3:00 PM-11:30 PM Monday-Friday. Pick up an application at the CVU Main Office, 369 CVU Road, Hinesburg, VT 05461 or call 482-7177 for more information.

Middle School Softball Coach Season begins the end of M arch 2004 and runs through the first week in June 2004. If interested please contact Alan M ihan, 985-3331.

and fastest-growing ad

7 :0 0 - 1 1 :0 0 am . M ust b e 21 -years o f a g e or

agency seeks a media

o ld e r plus 1-year e x p e rie n c e w o rk in g w ith

assistant with the ambition

preschoolers. C o u rsew o rk in child developm ent

and drive to become a

o r related a re a o f stu d y d esirab le.

fast-paced media planner

Send a resume, cover letter and three references by February 20 to: Calt Phalen, Childcare Coordinator Lund Family Center 76 Glen Rd., Burlington, VT 05401

SHELBURNE COMMUNITY SCHOOL

Vermont's most established

No phone calls please. • Lund is an EOE/EE/AA.

and buyer. Amazing opportunity to learn from VT’s top M ed ia Director

web and broadcast media. Should have basic knowledge of media tools.

experience. Full benefits p lo y m

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s e v e n d a y s v t.c o m

plus, great dog-friendly

' — @ m d Family Center

hmc advertising Attn: Media Director P.O. Box 179 Stowe, VT 0 5672 FAX: 802-253-7140 Email: paula@hmcstowe.com

and interact with print,

Salary commensurate with e m

Mail, fax or email resume to:

atmosphere!

No phone calls please. An equal opportunity employer.

hmc A D V E R T I S I N G

Hard W ork* $ illy Hat$. C e le b ra te d Opportunities. W ith over 2 0 ,0 0 0 party

D A R IM O N L IN E

supplies and costumes in

Internet strategies for synagogues ami their communities.

stock a t each o f our 38

B u rlin g to n 's F u ll-S e rv ic e S alo n D e sig n e d S p e c ific a lly for Men

FORMERLY PANIM ONLINE

stores, iParty is always seeking enthusiastic

DIRECTOR OF PROGRAMS

professionals w h o can

Gentlemen’s

Option

w e a r m any hats. If you're committed to ensuring that every celebration is as g reat as it can be, there's never been a better time to advance your career w ith one o f the nation's prem ier party stores!

We offer competitive compensation, a full-featured benefits package, and a truly unique work environment.

Exciting opportunity for self-motivated, entrepreneurial person to shape the future use of technology in Jewish organizations. Four-year-old widely recognized and rapidly growing non-profit organization seeks experienced manager to lead organizational operations working with synagogues and Jewish Day Schools to create and implement internet technologies in their local organizations. Project m anagement and fundraising experience necessary. Ease with computers and technology a must, some HTM L skills helpful but not required. Salary commensurate with experience, starting in the $3oKs. Please send resume and cover letter to:

New Store Opening in Wmiston, VT For immediate consideration, please send your resume to: C . Bloom, iParty Corporate Headquarters, 27 0 Bridge St., Suite 30 1, Dedham, MA 0 2 02 6 . E-mail: cbloom@iparty.com Fax: 781-326-7409 Phone: 781-355-3727 iParty is an equal opportunity employer that's committed to tun in the workplace.

L J party | w w w .iparly.com

DARIM ONLINE

156 COLLEGE STREET, T H IR D FLOOR BURLINGTON, VT 05401 O R SEARCH@DARIMONLINE.ORG

• Must be a Vermont lice n se d Cosm eto lo g ist, or a student in Cosm etology School • Training in m en’s grooming availab le • Part-tim e or full-time hours availab le • No clie n te le needed • Free parking and w aterfront location • V acation benefits • Health in su ra n ce • Starting pay $14/hour

Please Call Penny at (802) 879-8889 for m ore inform ation or send a resu m e to: G entlem en's Top Option 86 Lake Street Burlington, VT 05401

INFORMATION SERVICES LIBRARIAN

Street Checker- provide support and supervision Shelburne Museum

for youth on juvenile probation. BS and experience working with teens. Full-time position. EOE. Resume/cover letter to:

groundskeepers and a custodian. For application

Iff

31 Elmwood Ave.

Youth & Family Services

8 0 2 -9 8 5 -3 3 4 8 x 3 5 6 2

BREAD DELIVERY We have a full-time position available for a trustworthy, dependable individual who enjoys ^ tx b u ry ,V ^ early mornings, working with the public, and driving around our beautiful state. Competitive wages, benefits (and bread perks!).

Contact Randy or Liza at 244-0966 or randy@redhenbaking.com

Burlington, VT 05401

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re s u m e

SPECTRUM

and description call

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Shelburne Museum is opening May 1st! Accepting applications for seasonal guides,

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Library Director, Stowe Free Library P.O.Box Stowe, VT 05672

D ental O rth o d o n tic Assistant

Upper Valley Services, Inc. Direct Care needed for a women with challenging behaviors living in the Montpelier area. Seeking 24-hour coverage and full assistance with total care. Flexible hours.

Timberlane Dental Group, a multi-specialty practice, seeks a full-time assistant for its orthodontic practice. Ideal candidate w ill have relevant work experience and possess radiology certification. Other candidates w ill be considered. Applicant must be caring, dependable and a team player. Competitive benefits package. Please send resume to:

Dottie Watson Human Resources Manager Timberlane Dental Group 60 Timber Lane South Burlington, VT 05403

Contact Dennis or Kathleen at Upper Valley Services, 496-7830. ______________________________________________

P U B L IS H E R ’S SALES R EPR ES EN T A T IV E IN 'V E R M O N T Champlain Vocational Services, Inc.

Shared Home Provider Live 3 or 4 consecutive days per week in clean home of a fun, outgoing, 43 year old man with mobility and developmental needs. Provide community, job and respite supports. Minimal lifting. Must be dynamic, patient, caring and have the heart for service. Excellent job for single adult. Generous tax-free salary. Contact Joe at 655-0511 jlangerfeld@cvsvt.org or mail letter of interest/resume to: 77 Hegeman Ave Colchester, VT 05446

F u ll-tim e preferred . M ust be literate, have fast, nim ble hands, be able to lift and carry and have own transportation. M ust be reliable, honest and w illin g to work weekends and holidays as needed. We will train.

Vermont Life Magazine requires a sales representative to sell, on commission, Vermont life products (mosdy books, calendars, note cards, etc.) and magazines to retail oudets in the state of Vermont. Interested parties may obtain a copy of the Request for Proposals from:

Sales help wanted. Lively person to help us with sales in busy yarn shop/garden center. Part and full-tim e positions available, includes some weekend and holiday o r evening hours. M ust be able to knit, be reliable, h elpfu l, w illin g to teach. Please b rin g sample o f knitting into interview. A pply at Bailey House in M orrisville, across fro m A m es Plaza, o r send letter to:

Andrew Jackson, Vermont Life Magazine 6 Baldwin Street • Montpelier, VT 05602 or Andrew.Jackson@state.vt. us or call (802) 828-3244. Proposal deadline is March 5, 2004.

D a v id , B a ile y H o u s e 8 5 3 B r o o k ly n S tr e e t

The State o f Vermont is an E qual Oppporunity Employer.

M o r r is v ille , V T 0 5 6 6 1

Vermont Life

N o calls an d no clock watchers pi ers please.

M A G A Z I N E

SEVEN DAYS DEADLINES They never change, even when there is a Monday holiday

C l a s s if ie d A d v e r t is in g Display Employment and Line Listings: Monday, 5pm Auto Employment Space Finder Buy this Stuff Professional Services Legals

employment@sevendaysvt.com

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