courage she moved to the center. “I was raped,” she began slowly, “and next week I will face my rapist in court.” Siboniso had come to the Gender Reconciliation workshop as a way to prepare for testifying in front of the man who raped her, and the judge who would rule on the case. “I feel safe with all of you, and I want to tell you what happened,” she said as tears began to well up in her eyes.
Young religious leaders offer healing ceremony to honor women in Gender Reconciliation, New Mexico, United States
For the next several minutes, Siboniso recounted in graphic detail the horrific story of her rape. The men sat frozen in their chairs, as many of the women wept. None had ever heard a rape story told in such a direct, personal way. Siboniso was trembling as she completed her story, and the other women lovingly gathered around her, gently enveloping Siboniso as if in a protected womb. Feeling their tender touch after sharing so openly, Siboniso collapsed into their arms like a flower wilting from the blazing sun. Across the circle, the men held a deeply compassionate space as they witnessed all that was unfolding before them. With great sensitivity honoring the women’s process, the male facilitators guided the men to move slowly around the women keeping a respectful distance. Silently they prayed, as the women completed their grieving process together (see photo). Eventually the deep silence in the room was gracefully pierced by the clear ring of the meditation bell. “You don’t know how to be a man
Women grieving—with men in prayerful witness at advanced Gender Reconciliation workshop, Johannesburg, South Africa