YOB E A T
YO
OD D RICHR D S CHRISS’YDDUBWONK I A N HOBUSH H T R O N PU M E R I C A W I T H SNOWB O A R D I N G T R A NGE BR EW ON DRUGS NA DA TH OUL DA INISH ED
$5 S U G G E S T E D D O N AT I O N
CA WI SH DA
T A T A S
BROOKE’S BREAKDOWN I thought print was dead? INTERNS WILL SAVE THE SNOW BOARD INDUSTRY All hail the intern! HIGH FIVES WITH TODD RICHARDS Was snowboarding really better in the 90s? SERIOUS DELIRIUM Strange Brew, a van, and a road trip through America. KNOWBUDDYS UP NOR TH Burton’s prodigal sons take on Montana FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN Canadians throw caution to the wind, eh. REDEMPTION THROUGH SNOW BOARDING The Christian Hobush Interview CAR DANCHI A chilling car camping trip with Warp Wave THE LEVELS OF PRO SNOW BOARDING The art of setting your sights low GYPSY OR GANGSTA? Or are they really just snowboarders. HOW-TO STAY RELEVAN T W ITH THE KIDS An Old Person’s Guide B-RAD FROM S-CRUZ’S GUIDE TO SNOW BOARDING ON DRUGS A field manual DAVE SCHIFF’S TREND REPORT Insight from the smartest guy we know THE 10 POWDER DAY COMMANDM ENTS Obey or die MIDGET PORN: Hondo’s Guide to Becoming a Superhero THE BREAK-UP Why Yobeat’s co-founder quit snowboarding COOL GUYS A bunch of dudes, standing around
CON TENTS 76.6.301 ROBBERY
EX-
ORS.471.410 FURNISHING ALCOHOL TO MINORS
Desiree Melancon in the Palmer Fall / Winter 2014 collection Photography by Mike Azevedo
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“I C A N ’ T S I N G , B U T I C A N R A P.”
BR O O K E ’ S
BREAK PHOTO BY JARED SOUNEY
I’VE DONE A LOT OF THINGS AND GONE A LOT OF PLACES BECAUSE OF SNOWBOARDING . It’s fair to say if I hadn’t ditched my skis and side-slipped
down Burke Mountain (ok mostly just slid on my butt) so many years ago, my life would have taken a very different path. Looking back on my years in snowboarding, I have only one regret — not getting a photo of me published in a snowboard magazine. In 1996, when I was convinced I may be able to “go pro” at snowboarding (didn’t take much for a girl back then), I desperately wanted to get my picture in a magazine. I would shoot photos with my dad (who is a professional landscape photographer) and submit them with high hopes to Fresh and Tasty, but alas, the photos were guyin-the-sky shots of me grabbing tindy and not even good enough for the women’s mag fondly nicknamed “Stale and Nasty.” A torn ACL soon ended those “pro” fantasies and I discovered there was room for people who just wanted to write about snowboarding, too. snapped lley and someone Va n lto Bo at ow e I was standing Pharcyde sh er. Another tim in the crowd at a nt s ce wa I ad e de s nc O wa s. much better than eaty head ose over the year ern Edge. My sw , while someone st ed Ea ad of And I’ve come cl s Lo men’s g ge rin pa e Sp ar y event (another failed wo ded up gracing th ntributor to SG illington’s legend K co at or a photo which en ni ot se sh a a f el of ding. und mys foreground ill not snowboar . And when I fo on a jump in the We’ve was cool, but st se, but not quite h lo ic C wh k. ething about it. , ic m ed tr so al ish tu bl do pu to g d in de at ci sk de e me did an ac e m of S , I’v nfortunately, to get a picture NE AR LY 13 YE AR myself snowboarding, in print. U R FO AD title), I managed DE T IN oto of DE CL AR IN G PR : so I can see a ph So now, AF TE R at for one reason it’s gonna get. be as Yo od of go ue as iss is t in so this slash o, ag made this first pr ng lo ” ks ric able to do “t I stopped being blisher Brooke Geery, Pu
OLYMPIC UNHOPEFUL. In 2014 we had no Olympic competitors on our team. This was not a problem, this was our` choice. In fact, while others were judging life by points, wins and losses, we were in fresh snow judging life by amounts of fun had. Its this attitude of not giving a flying kite about formalities and judgements that has led to products like Forest Bailey’s Cosmic Collection of signature pants and jackets - designed to enjoy the adventure for what its worth to you. Remember, its your choice. Choose to fly a kite‌
@ 686
A FEW TOO MANY YEARS AT SOURCE INTERLIKE / GRIND MEDIA / TEN AND YOU’RE READY TO CHOP YOUR OWN DAMN HANDS OFF.
BRIDGES WILL THE
SAV E
SNOWBOARD
The continuous stream of of bankruptcies is approaching overwhelming volumes. The cries of stressing “industry dudes” ema-
PATIFICATING.
nating from Southern California is near deafening. Can the snowboard industry be rescued from its precarious position, or will industry dudes be forced to buy second-hand surf boards and cut back on all the Wahoo’s lunches? There is hope — and it works for next to nothing: the intern. Internships have played an instrumental role in the history of human civilization. THE PYRAMIDS WERE BUILT BY INTERNS that wore sandals. Political officials depend on interns for “special projects.” In short, without interns to perform the bullshit tasks nobody wants to do, the world would cease to turn. The problem with the snowboard industry is that companies have strayed from relying on interns to fuel their business. Because interns can be
annoying, snowboard companies have tried to use “interns” in China. But humans rights groups have insisted that these work-
ers be compensated.** Also, much revenue has been lost to hooking bros up with jobs after they were laid off from Blockbuster. If the snowboard industry is to survive these trying times, it must return to the tried and true intern. As an experienced intern I can attest to the effectiveness of using interns, and their value to the snowboard industry. More often than not, interns are youthful and consume a lot of energy drinks. While this gives them the intelligence of a squirrel, their productivity levels are off the charts. Plus, they can keep you up to date with what the cool kids are wearing. Interns will perform anything asked of them. Anything. Simply give them stickers once in a while to keep them going. And for those projects that might include risk of death or illegal acts, simply hint that there is a chance they might meet a pro snowboarder and consider it done. For some reason, society (i.e. parents and teachers) consider internships a good thing. Occasionally, interns know how to work Excel and can per form simple algebraic functions, in which case they can manage company finances. Ever heard of the AFL-CIO or Worker Rights? Neither have interns. So before you abandon ship and post your snowboard company up on Craigslist, consider posting a call for interns. Remember to include the false promise of “opportunities for career advancement” — it keeps the parents and teachers happy. Yes, there is hope for the snowboard industry, and it isn’t more rail jams.
VIVA LA INTERN.
** Legal disclosure: The Editors of Yobeat do not support unpaid Internships.
Words by P. Andrew Hart Photos by Brooke D. Geery
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EXPANSION VIEW TECHNOLOGY
TODD RICHARDS IS OLDER THAN YOU,
BETTER LOOKING THAN YOU, MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN YOU AND ALSO KNOWS A THING OR TWO ABOUT SNOWBOARDING. RATHER THAN BEING JEALOUS, WE DECIDED TO USE HIM FOR HIS WISDOM AND BRING BACK SOME CLASSIC HIGH FIVES. SIT BACK AND RELAX KIDS, HE HAS ALL THE ANSWERS.
1 . I T S E E M S M A N Y O F T O D AY ’ S M O D E R N B O A R D E R S C A N D O E V E RY T R I C K B U T H AV E T R O U B L E M A K I N G I T F R O M F E AT U R E T O F E AT U R E . W H AT A R E T O D D ’ S T H O U G H T S O N THIS PHENOMENON? I have been observing this sliding embarrassment for way too long. If you can do every trick under the sun on a rail or box, please take the time to learn how to use your edges to ride away clean. I have seen way too many edits where every time the riders are off the snow they look like gods, but as soon as p tex touches frozen white they look like baby deer on ice. Fix this shit.
PHOTO BY ROBBIE SELL
HIGH FIVES WITH
2 . H A S I N T E R N E T K I L L E D T H E V I D E O S TA R O R A R E W E B EDITS THE FUTURE? Internet hasn’t really killed anything, it has just made us not care faster. There is always another hero two clicks away. When you had to buy a dvd or get a snowboard movie that has serious production value, the riders could be showcased more like heros. Whoever had the last part was on top of the pile. It’s still like that to some regard, but why sit through the whole video when you can search that riders name and just watch highlights? There is always a bigger fish.
3 . A S S O M E O N E W H O WAT C H E S A F U C K T O N O F S N O W B O A R D C O N T E S T S , W H AT W I L L I T TA K E T O M A K E P E O P L E WHO DON’T COMPETE IN SNOWBOARD CONTESTS TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT COMPETITIVE SNOWBOARDING AGAIN?
T O D D RICH aRDS
I think that people do give a shit. I see a lot of fans getting hyped in these towns for the contest to roll through. What we really need is more pipes at the base area of the mountains. Make it way easier for families and kids to get up there and watch. We also need contests back east and in the Midwest, because that is where the true fans of snowboarding reside. I always loved the passion from the kids who are not jaded by living out west. They truly get excited to meet and be part of any and all skilled professionals that come through their towns.
4 . S N O W B O A R D I N G I S C H A N G I N G B Y T H E D AY. A S A N O L D P E R S O N , W H AT A D V I C E D O Y O U H AV E F O R F E L L O W O L D P E O P L E W H O A R E AT T E M P T I N G T O “ S TAY I N T O U C H W I T H T H E K I D S ? ” A N D W H AT A D V I C E W O U L D Y O U G I V E T O “ T H E K I D S ” W H O A R E T RY I N G T O M A K E S N O W B O A R D I N G I N T O THEIR LIFE? It’s easy to make snowboarding your life. The hard part is putting food on your plate and somehow saving for an inevitable crumbling of a professional pipe dream. Staying in touch with the kids can get you arrested in this country, but maybe not in Thailand, so...move to Thailand. Or you could just stop thinking like a suit. I don’t have that problem because I arrested my development at 16, much to the delight of my family.
5 . WA S S N O W B O A R D I N G R E A L LY B E T T E R I N T H E 9 0 ’ S ? Shit, what wasn’t better in the 90’s? Nobody had gluten allergies, there was no such thing as Al- Qaeda, and snowboard companies gave away free money if you could just strap on a snowboard and grow a goatee.
“SHIT, WHAT WASN’T BETTER IN THE 90’S?”
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S U O I R SE I R I L E D UM WORDS
NE BY KEE
N C
TO | PHO AW L E Y
ANNY S BY D
KERN
COLFAX
When I was six or seven, I remember sitting in the backseat of my folks car while driving to the beach as the sun washed over me. It was August, and the road kept going and going, but thankfully it wasn’t a highway, it was one of those backroads that reveal the genuine character of the landscape. With a pressed up forehead on the window and open eyes, everything we passed — every home, barn, hill, thicket and guardrail — everything had an image of a snowboarder imposed on it. And although there was no snow, he kept up with the car and soared over the landscape. Everything was rideable — he’d find a takeoff and blast over the car to the other side of the road, kick up a cloud and come ripping out of it, juicing, because that’s all he had to do as far as I was concerned.... Danny Kern got to see this come to fruition when we took an early season surprise trip to California. Colfax, California is a small blip of a Western town an hour outside of Truckee. The Amtrak runs through downtown. There’s an old museum with train relics. It has an elementary school and a middle school and a high school. There are long backroads that go through the forest. And it was in this small town that little Dan would gaze, imagining boarders outside his window. There they go!
COULD THAT HAVE BEEN US? Who’s to know, ‘Cause now it’s dust Never again to be snow.
HUNTER MURPHY
R E S
SERIOUS DELIRIUM
HUNTER MURPHY
MONTPELIER Montpelier, Vermont is our nation’s only capitol without a McDonald’s. This either has people hustling to the Green Mountains or far away from it. And that’s a defining factor of Vermont. Not that fast food (or lack of) plays even the slightest role in sculpting Vermont’s character, but sometimes that’s all the dumb out of staters hear about this paradise, so they won’t even come. And it guarantees that those who do flock for that reason are going to be granolascarfing, cross country skiers, adorned with fast shades and a simple pace of life (yet immeasurably more productive and meaningful than 99% of the country’s). AND THAT’S WHY VERMONT THRIVES. Yes, She and her wet mountains provide harmonious living within dogged means. The mainstream is unable to breach her bounds; such attempts are met with an open door for you to get the fuck out. But such is the life of the Vermonter. We spent three days adhering to Her simple conventions. Those notions we’re force fed, those ambiguous rules of rails and rail tricks, been dones, or a la mode’s ‘get creative’ were left at the border and we just played snowboarding. Disgustingly germane, as we were in snowboarding’s alma mater (not the OG, to all you Michiganders), but we just rode our snowboards on things and at places we wanted to ride our snowboards on. The rigamarole of image and industry gets choky, so this retreat waitwaitwait. ... Hold the phone. This is how soul’s tarnish. LL YO U AN D YO UR SH UT UP AN D TE SO I’M GO IN G TO OF VE RM ON T. STAY TH E FU CK OU T FIX ED WAYS TO
BOSTON
BOSTON DEADLINES OFFER A QUIETUS FROM ROUTINE. That soothe of patterns needs to get shook up every so often in order for you to remember you’re a human and you’re alive and you have a life and what good’s that life if you’re just going to let it do and see the same goddamn things it already knows about. Being conscious of an end forces you (or at least has the power) to hone your desires. When you understand these, or perhaps the singular ‘this’, you can act accordingly and effectively see it to fruition. No scrubbing around, talking about shit whilst sitting on your broke ass. No, you take your brokeass outside and hustle to get just a fingertip or a breath of that desire. You’ll fall and get scrapes on your elbows and skin your palms and bruise your knees, you’ll hit your head and get disoriented and act irrationally and punch things and jump in the air and suck your knees up and land on things hoping they break — they won’t — so you’ll headbutt them and get soaked in emotion, not just anger, but primordial tension where your pulse is visible and your breath sinks. You see differently (probably because you hit your head) and yet you do not stop trying because you have a deadline. Consumable sustenance is replaced with raw electricity. You become an ectotherm in a winter tundra where, in order to keep living, you must keep beating the shit out of yourself. TIME BECOMES JUST ONE THING, AND THAT IS WHEN IT IS OVER. And when it is over, when that deadline is up, you don’t have your desire. You aren’t holding anything in your torn up hands. Nothing falls into your lap. But something has changed. There’s a sparrow in your pattern, you’re routine has been shattered.
G A IN . Y O U A R E A LI V E A
JASPER TRIPP
IAN DALY
SERIOUS DELIRIUM SERIOUS DELIRIUM
HYLAND
KEENAN CAWLEY
HYLAND jump so very high and breathe that life around you
crashing down head first genderÂs pecific cartøgraphy The thing about boys is uncertainty: assured, ignorant, uncertainty. They choose the world they want to be cognizant of and must pursue. They go with an ink trail, a mark on their feet. A wake is dictated through the air they lose and the air they find, the suns and the moons,
the drained gas tanks, the open eyes and the dreamt, the yeses and noes. Histories tattooed on a naked map.
DNALYH
CHAD BLAU
TE MARQUET
Positive energy emissions are vibrant.
MARQUETTE
(+) can alter the fates. As can (-) but let’s not think about that right now.
Synonyms of positivity include: joy and reliability and good things and buoyancy. Your aura oozes these when you are feeling positive, and when other people are feeling positive, it oozes from their aura and in to yours. That’s science (read: magic) which means you can’t believe it, nor do you have to, but it’s fucking true and your inquisitive, prickass is just wasting time thinking otherwise. Despite the Internet bridging the world to one bigass clique, it seems to have fucked with the positivity bridge of human interaction and integration; social anxieties and awkward temperaments are direct products of this, however, again, we’re not focusing on the (-)’s, so let me continue. It appears as if not everyone has been afflicted by these bogus humankind malfunctions. You know that everything is going to be alright when you meet someone and feel like you’ve known them since middle school (and subsequently you know things are wrong when you see someone you’ve known since middle school and can’t remember anything about them besides the grudge you’ve held against them since then ...)
Or when the first thing you do is share a laugh. Or perhaps a smoke and you can smoke it together without feeling uncomfortable. Or make food for each other. Or, however frustratingly cliché, offer a beer.
And those are just signs that things will be alright. And you’ll have to wait and see those things play out just to be sure. But you know it will be an exceptional relationship when you can work with someone you just met. Work is something that announces your character over a loudspeaker. But make sure you do it ‘cause you want to; actually be driven. If you’re not,if you’re just doing it to do it or if you’re doing it for someone else then you’ll be bringing that () and you do not have time for that bullshit. What time has for you, if you can keep a warm heart about yourself, is procession; the emanation of positivity in visceral form. This is greatness. Work unified. Experience this efflux in waves and get lost in them.
MARQUETTE
JORDAN DANIELS
KUPN O W B U D D Y ’ S
NORTH THE BURTON
E S A R E N ’T A T K N OW B U D DY’
Photos & Words by Justin Parkhurst
AM OR EVEN
A CR E W.
IP . s because K IN G naRfor AT FUexpClor TH S 10 day ER ID R nta R Mo e EU AT to A M the country, we selected 3 Knowbuddy’s S A LY N O T rphy from Tahoe, Mu IS n Joh EX ck, TH EY ions all over le came out from Bre Ky k Jac . ter win Based in different reg l rea ch Nigro from d to fin the stoke king, Za ta go north if you want x Andrews, acting as sometimes you just got t of the crew was Ale res e Th y. Cit ke La t m Sal and Ezra Racine fro a filmer. and f, sel my n, rto Bu
SO IT WAS GOING TO BE PRETTY HARD TO SCREW THIS UP.
W HI TE FI SH D ID N O T FA IL TO DE LIV ER .
ALEX ANDREWS
EZRA RACINE
JACK KYLE
JOHN MURPHY
The terrain is endless. Whether you’re looking for 3-foot pillows in the trees, natural hips, or cliffs of any size, you’ll find what you’re looking for. Unless you’re a total kook, you can’t have a bad time at Whitefish. Jack Kyle has a style that silently glides through trees and has pop like Bennee. After landing, he would come within inches of so many trees until I either lost count or he disappeared behind a cloud of cold smoke and was gone. And John Murphy would basically mow over anything in his way and just surf the whole mountain. The days were long and filled with some of the most creative snowboarding I have ever witnessed. The fellas got real loose up there, half out of control at times resulting in either full tomahawks or just barely holding on. Either way, it was good to see young talent holding their own in deep chowder and heavy terrain. In modern snowboarding, everything is so perfectly packaged together with a rider, his or her sponsors, video project, and energy drink logo, etc. The Knowbuddy program isn’t defined. It just is. Which makes it cool. Nobody really knows what it is. And I think that snowboarding could use a little more mystery and a little bit more of the unknown.
WHAT IF BEFORE BABIES LEARNED HOW TO WALK, THEY COULD FLOAT? JUST IMAGINE BABIES FLOATING AROUND, WITH THEIR LITTLE ARMS.
WHEN NOT JIBBING TREES JOHN MURPHY ENJOYS SMOKING TREES.
F O D N I K , E K I L S Y A I ’ V E A LW T O T RY I T. WA N T E D TER
B O A R D I .GN
WA
TOP: WHAT LOOKS LIKE POWDER IS ACTUALLY ALL THE FROTH COMING OUT OF ALEX ANDREW’S MOUTH BOTTOM: WHERE’S JACK KYLE.
TOO BAD EZRA RACINE BLEW THE EPIC LANDSCAPE FOOTAGE THAT CURT MORGAN WAS GETTING.
THAT O-FACE WAS ACTUALLY FROZEN ON EZRA RACINE THE WHOLE TRIP. SNOW STACHES ARE SO HIP.
We’d heard stories of a place called Lost Trail Powder Mountain. With a little more research we found out the mountain was only open Thursday through Sunday. Lucky for us it was Wednesday morning and it had just snowed 38-inches in the last week. Mellow. That made our decision pretty easy:We were heading to Lost Trail. During the drive we were on the lookout for a street spot. After a bit of driving we came across a set of two 10 stair down rails with a gap in the middle. We were losing light, so after a quick set up and a few roll-ins, it was on. 50-50 to 50-50. 50-50 to nose press. 5-0 to 5-0. Lipslide to lipslide. THE DUDES WERE CRUSHING. That is until Ezra came up short on the gap to the second down rail and annihilated his hip. The second it happened, I thought we would be spending the night in the ER, but miraculously he was okay. Ezra is a beast. The light was just about gone so we packed up. We were stacked with shots but one rider down. Located on the Montana/Idaho border in the Bitterroot National Forest, four hours south of Whitefish, is Lost Trail Powder Mountain. There is no lodging at the mountain — the closest place to stay is eight miles down the road in some cabins. The lodging was basic, about two steps above camping. We had beds, running water, heat, and electricity. What else could you need? We arrived at the mountain a little before 9am. 38-inches of fresh on what the locals called “Powder Thursday.” The chairlifts (which all run on some sort of make-shift diesel generators) fired up at 9:30am and we started to explore. The snow was so deep and natural airs were everywhere. Lots of tomahawks, blower pow, and stomped landings ensued. But the trees at Lost Trail is really where everyone shined. We basically built our own park in the woods with jumps over pillows, airs to tree jibs, and the roof of a heady smoke shack naturally formed a takeoff over a massive gap. We had at least five features set up in a top to bottom run. Aside from the cold and heavier snow on the last day, we got clips. It was so cold on the third day I had to hold my breath while shooting photos because my breath would freeze my viewfinder. Places like Lost Trail are becoming few and far between. $39 LIFT TICKETS, LODGING FOR $60, NO CELL PHONE SERVICE, AND HARDLY ANY GROOMED TRAILS. Not to mention, the personalities and hospitality at Lost Trail were incredible. After three days we felt like we knew the life stories of some of the lifties and had been there for years. At the end of the day the lodge would even hand out any remaining food. In some ways Lost Trail is stuck in time. And I don’t ever want it to change.
HEY WILL FRASER, 50/50’S ARE FOR GIRLS. GOOD THING THIS WAS SWITCH, EH?
of the
TEXT AND PHOTOS BY DALE BAILEY
Once upon a season, in a land so bitterly cold, a local shopkeep waxes a snowboard in hopes of it being sold. Fallen flakes litter the ground and finally start to hold, as I reach my hand out for the bungee and prepare to take hold. “Dropping in!” I yell to the camera, as I rip past my breathless friends, lower my arms for maximum steeze as I let my knees bend. Of course chicks dig boarders, and this trick will surely get girls. So I hop and I balance, and I jump and I twirl. But that’s not why we do it, we’re more hungry for the thrill. A rapid pulse is more comfortable, than a heart that lies still. And with an inner blanket of blood to fight off the chill, you try to ward off any doubts that gather in your mind until, you take off into a flight, that you have never flown and you open up and let it in,
your fear of the unknown.
FALL A snowier fall, means early boarding for us all. Snow covers the ground, yet the lifts are still closed. In the city, fair weather walkers have now become ghosts. Craig calls me up, eager to get his first shots of the year. So I fire up google street view, to find new spots that are near. It’s a good thing that I know my Reginian friend well and that bungees are too slow and tiring as hell. Bigger than I’m used to the spots would be without question, as Craig’s appetite for bangers is within the upper echelon. He arrived in the evening and we discussed our plans collectively before picking up from the airport a mild wakeboard celebrity. Mild mannered Mr. O’ Ferrall, the Dustin of all trades. The kind of guy whose welcome is always under stayed.
I try my best at inter rogation from under my cozy sheets, stolen to find out how and what had been ep. asle fast while we had been Our snowboard gear and toolbox had been taken by a grinch, achs and our hear ts sank into our stom h. winc the see not d coul when we A minor Christmas miracle, however had happened that night. Perhaps Roxy dog’s ferocity, had instilled a bit of fright. g They had not loaded quite ever ythin , gone get to IC in their PAN and left items from our garage strewn all about on our lawn.
d, We unwound and found some brea to pop into the toaster, s as we scribed a list of stolen good er. post cat ing miss our of on the back
MINE.
We could probably start a snow removal business if we lacked all other ambitions, but late into the morning we’d do the opposite, without many contritions. After building a mound of snow taller than the New York Empire, we groomed it to perfection despite our anxiety to retire.
So groggy in the morning, brain rebooting, nose still clogged, er waking me I could barely comprehend my moth ROBBED! N to infor m us WE HAD BEE
It had been left we were relieved , our thieves were clearly great fools h wort they didn’t know the winches tool. and that it was our most valuable
Younger and wiser than Gandalf with a camera as his staff. He came also with a winch, that he himself did craft. That night we made haste, we didn’t waste any time; Our tools would be shovels, and THE SNOW WE WOULD
When sleep finally came, a river of dreams ran deep, all night while the faithful watch dog barked . peep le sing a ing hear us ut witho
We managed to pull some strings ther, and get some boarding gear toge ing work week our n begi and finally in the bone chilling prairie weather. cold; The winch broke ever yday in the tal” “ren tool t’s Depo e Hom we used t, nigh y ever it fix to m syste om. thanks to Dustin’s mechanical wisd Spot after spot was bigger than the last. One thing they all had in common was that you had to go fast! Often taking blind leaps without the features being visible, planning your initial trajectory has never been quite so critical. tion You must place yourself in the posi , PIG NEA GUI of a BRAVE r and prepare to surpass your inne inhibitions of going big.
Spots and shots with Dusty and Craig, surely propelled my snowboard game. Like how being tagged in Craig’s photos propelled my non-existent insta-fame. The week all led up to one of Craig’s snowboard dreams, and in Calgary it was clear that the winch wasn’t the only snowboard machine. Craig sprints the winch through a football field of snow.
NOT ONCE DOES HE WAIVER, nor once does he slow. Maybe slow jams weren’t the best that day, I should have gone with Ghostface Killah. I tried, but couldn’t back Craig up, as he gapped the great Godzilla. Still it was a successful week, with a crew that was relentless. Despite all of our setbacks, and scaring myself senseless. Or sensing fear of hurtin’ or future uncertain, like that of my long lost cat,
you’ll never know where that river flows unless you build a raft.
WINTER
An ambitious winter, turning back your
AFTER CHRISTMAS
splinters
E,
I BECAME AN UNCL
I admit, I had my doubts, I thought that he might lose. Since the competition was called STAIRmasters and Layne’s sights were set for roofs . The starting block was a ladder, and the bungee the starting pisto l, to a marathon weekend of trickery and STAYING OUT OF JAIL , to be wishful.
new kittens, and a father to two mission r from the McMorris ove which helped me rec . ten were frost bit and thaw toes that d time Just barely had I ha myself again, to mentally prepare l did I receive a cal al friend. from a legendary loc
DASS
BA A TRUE CANADIAN
ng meters. n’t even pay for parki the kind that would e zon comfor t The next to push my eter. n’s dopest: Layne Tre nto mo Ed be uld wo sistance was needed I was grateful my as ard contest, for an online snowbo best Canadian ams where some of the to digitally flaunt were commissioned
it.
Apparently the pigs hold some stigm a to us being on top of public scho ols. Don’t they get that doing only rails on stoops is barely half as cool? Couldn’t they look the other way and we’ll be scarce after getting our trick instead of making us come back repeatedly and us good kids, seem like dicks . It was nerve-racking enough bungeeing to the edge, three stori es high
.
You can’t truly plan your line when all you see is roof and sky.
So as it went our weekend, and to Layne a fearless feat, off of ever y bridge and school gymn asium, like a cat, always landing on his feet. My few attempts looked more like a fish, who had figured out how to drown, or who had been tossed out of a window to be left writhing upon the frozen ground. They say that riding with those who push you is beneficial, and it’s true. But sometimes too big of an appe tite can get the best of you. The least you can do is be mindful and give yourself some recovery weeks, and when your five-week missing cat returns
THINGS DON’T SEEM QUITE SO
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See, trials and tribulations are nece ssar y for ever y form of art, and at least now I have the ende r to my Xgames EATREALSHIT PART.
to nurture you,
BLEAK.
SPRING It doesn’t really happen here, the term “spring” is quite unclear.
“SPRING MELT” isn’t really a term that we use up in the true north. Neither are terms like ounces, yards, and quarts. Because Quebec rails are buried in quarts, hidden in snow, yards deep, and each day of shoveling it away leaves us barely an ounce of strength to keep. There’s nothing quite like the smell of one motel room and nine dudes, with all of our boots overtop the heater dripping a stinky boarder foot stew. But it’s important to do such things when trying to cut costs, especially when Dirty Mike and the Boys can break a board like a boss. Or when an ounce of weed gets confiscated by the Mattawa Highway Patrol, and you have to pay lawyer fees in order to KEEP YOU OFF PAROLE. And even after falling asleep and hitting the ditch, Mike would breathe a sigh of relief, when he would stumble upon the transfer rail that was made famous by Louif. It wasn’t the red ledge nor rail to bank that made him happy as a candy store kid, but when he rode away from his boardslide transfer and exclaimed, “I felt what Louif did!” The snowboard tourism trip was all worth it, we surely had won! Even though it was a trick that had already been done. On our victory lap back home, Mike’s Delica was on its last breath. When we stopped we would leave it run all night to hopefully prevent its impending death. Somewhere in the deep freeze prairies
IT FINALLY HIT THE PITS. When none of us could fix it, we relied on multiple A.M.A memberships. We would get it towed to the furthest town that was within our free kilometer limit, and find the only gas station and settle Catan within it. The next member would call the tow truck so that we could continue our slow relay. We would eventually cross the barren land to make it home, greatly delayed. From then on out there were only just slushy times in store. For after such AN EVENTFUL SEASON, spring riding in Whistler was the the reward.
LAYNE TREETER TRYING TO GET HIMSELF KILLED. EH?
All in all it was a season of unexpected turns and twists, but that’s just street boarding for you; it never happens quite as you wish.
CRAIG MCMORRIS VS. GODZILLA. CRAIG WON. PHOTO BY WILL FRASER
THE SAMBA
WATCH LOUIF’S WELCOME DOCUMENTARY AT ADIDAS.COM/SNOWBOARDING BS LIPSLIDE IN QUEBEC CITY, CANADA – GAGNON PHOTOS. © 2014 adidas AG. adidas, the trefoil logo and the 3-Stripes mark are registered trademarks of the adidas Group.
CHRISTIAN HOBUSH
THE CHRISTIAN HOBUSH INTERVIEW BY OLIVER DIXON CHRISTIAN HOBUSH IS A HANDSOME LITTLE NUMBER WITH AN APPETITE FOR TROUBLE. IF YOU RECOGNIZE THE NAME THAT’S BECAUSE YES, HE HAPPENS TO BE BRANDON HOBUSH’S YOUNGER BROTHER. AS EXPECTED, GROWING UP RIDING WITH BRANDON YIELDED A PRETTY IMPRESSIVE BAG OF TRICKS FOR YOUNG CHRISTIAN. SO IMPRESSIVE THAT IT’S EQUALLY AS RELEVANT TO SAY THAT BRANDON’S RIDING COULD BE CONSIDERED A PRODUCT OF THIS ELECTRIC BROTHERHOOD.
SO ONE MAY ASK, “WHY HASN’T CHRISTIAN GOTTEN THE SAME LEVEL AS ATTENTION AS BRANDON?” WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, CHRISTIAN HAS SEEN A NUMBER OF LEGAL TROUBLES OVER THE YEARS. BUT RECENTLY, HE’S FOUND HIMSELF IN THE CLEAR. HE DID HIS TIME AND PAID HIS DUES, AT LEAST FOR NOW. MANY AROUND HIM WONDER IF HE’LL BE ABLE TO KEEP HIS STRIDE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE TRACKS LIKE HE HAS FOR THE LAST YEAR OR SO. THE ONLY ANSWER I COULD GATHER BEFORE MEETING HIM WAS, “ONLY TIME WILL TELL.” BUT TIME IS A TIGHT LIPPED SON OF A BITCH, SO I FIGURED I WOULD GO STRAIGHT TO THE MAN HIMSELF AND GET THE REAL STORY BEHIND THIS LEGEND IN THE MAKING. SO, IN THE WORDS OF DMX, “FUCK WHAT YOU HEARD, ‘DIS WHAT YOU HEARIN.’”
Redemption
OLIVER DIXON: YOU GREW UP IN SALT LAKE CITY? Christian: I grew up in Utah county actually. Mormonville. I have nothing against Mormons though. Me and Brandon grew up LDS. My dad wasn’t practicing, but my mom would go to church on Sundays. I’m super cool with it. I’ve seen it help so many people who are full blown LDS, and my parents are, but they still support me and Brandon, who are not practicing it that much. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE LDS? One thing I’ve experienced my whole life is that the LDS religion is 100% family first, family forever. Always family. I literally have not figured out if I’m practicing or if I’m still into the religion because my parents want me to be, or because I know that I should be. The thing that I couldn’t stand, and still struggle with to stay practicing and not be a jack mormon is the not having a beer. That type of stuff. I have tattoos, and every single tattoo has meaning to me. I totally get that it’s our body, treat it like our temple... YEAH BUT YOU HAVE TO HAVE FUN. I MEAN, YOU DON’T KNOW IF THE AFTERLIFE IS REALLY A THING. I do totally believe that we’re definitely doing something after this life. I just don’t really see how we just live these lives. Let’s say we live til we’re 75 and a we die. 75 years have just flown by, and whatever happened, happened. How in the world can 75 years go by and then nothing happen? We have
“
a whole entire universe. There has to be something happening after that. Whether it be we live another life on some other planet or are reborn as an animal. Something has to happen. I THINK THIS IS WHERE WE DIVERGE, BECAUSE I WANT IT TO HAPPEN, BUT I LOVE SCIENCE SO MUCH, IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. IT’S CRAZY THAT WE HAVE CELL PHONES THAT RECORD THIS. THAT’S JUST AS IMPRESSIVE AS AN ETERNAL AFTERLIFE. THE WAYS THAT THINGS ARE IS SO IMPROBABLE. I totally think my brother thinks the exact same way about this. Our dad, he’s gone, he passed away. I was 10, Brandon was 12. There’s no possible way that we can only have that short of an amount of period with our dad, who literally created us. I totally believe that we are gonna be reunited with our dad. That just has to happen. WHEN DID YOU START SNOWBOARDING? DID YOU AND BRANDON START TOGETHER? We definitely started together. First day together was at Sundance, UT. I had my Forum Peter Line, Brandon had his Forum Bjorn Leines and we totally taught ourselves. We didn’t have lessons, and I’m not saying that what so ever to be cocky. We couldn’t afford it. There was definitely no way my single mom was about to pay for some snowboard lessons for her two sons, who were the most shit head things, just giving her a hard time as a single mother. DID YOU SKATEBOARD BEFORE THAT? We did. These are my best memories of my dad. My dad taking me to this place called Joe’s Boardshop in Orem, UT. The sickest. I love Milo, they are one of my sponsors right now, but Joe’s boardshop, memories for days. That’s where I learned to skateboard when I was eight years old. I can remember learning to drop in on what seemed like an X Games half pipe, it was huge. I’m sure it was like some mini ramp. Joe was best friends with my dad. He lived literally in the backyard of the skatepark and boardshop. He was the freakin man. We learned how to skateboard before snowboarding, which I think made it easier. YOU GUYS BOTH FUCKING RIP AT SKATEBOARDING. IT WAS SORT OF AN INSPIRATION FOR ME. YOU CAN TELL YOU WERE RAISED SKATEBOARDING FIRST AND THEN WERE LIKE, WE LIVE IN UTAH, WE GOTTA LEARN TO SNOWBOARD, AND YOU GUYS WERE BOTH FUCKING KILLING IT. We learned how to skateboard at the same time and we learned how to snowboard at the same time. But Brandon, he was sponsored by Hurley and some skate shoe company at a super young age, for skateboarding. I can’t remember why I quit skateboarding, but for some reason I did. Brandon went super hard with it, but I was down with snowboarding. I
All i wanted to do
“
was shred for the weekend an d go tu rn my se lf in on Mo nd ay
AFTER A YEAR IN JAIL, A GUY GETS PRETTY USED TO LOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER.
IF CHRISTIAN HAD LANDED ASS-FIRST ON THAT KINK THE RESULTING PAIN WOULD HAVE BEEN REMINISCENT OF THINGS THAT CAN HAPPEN IN JAIL SHOWERS.
was getting hurt too much, and I was a little bitch. Brandon was a little older than me, so no matter, what he was just way better than me at skateboarding. I love skating with him, but I couldn’t keep up. But we both kept snowboarding together teaching each other how to jump, how to ollie, how to nollie, how to turn. We taught each other literally everything when it came to snowboarding. LET’S TALK ABOUT RIDING AT SUNDANCE SOME MORE. DID YOU GUYS DO CONTESTS? No, no contests. Sundance, in Utah, there’s no park, no jumps, no rails, no nothing. All my memories of Sundance are literally trying to race Brandon down the hill, or do a better ollie than him or a better turn than him. Definitely pushing each other when it came to going faster, that type of stuff. Snowboarding totally came natural because he made it look natural. It was a lot easier. Skateboarding was so hard. WHEN DID YOU GUYS DIVERGE FROM SUNDANCE? When we got passes to Park City, I think when I was 11. It was a year after our dad passing away and we were so young we didn’t really understand the effect. I think that’s maybe a reason why we got Park City passes. My mom was really dedicated to helping us get into snowboarding. Mom, I love you; I can’t thank you enough. She’s the one who made snowboarding and skateboarding possible for me and Brandon. YOU’VE BEEN INSIDE. SOME THINGS HAVE HAPPENED. WHAT HAPPENED? First off, it was definitely not prison. For everyone who does not know me, I’m a little dude. If I ever went to prison I woulda made it out as someone who was definitely someone else’s bitch. Thank my freaking state, my judge, my parents, thank everyone who was involved. I didn’t go to prison. I did go to jail. I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE GOES TO JAIL FOR A LITTLE BIT. JUST FOR BEING DRUNK OR SOMETHING. I definitely did not get to go to jail for a weekend. I was young and dumb. I thought because I was a snowboarder it was super fine and not really a big deal to sell pot. It’s a little different now a days, there are so many states where it’s legal. When I was selling MJ, distributing it and stuff, I knew it was not chill. I knew I could go to jail and it did happen. My first day in jail I didn’t even think I was in jail. It was like, this definitely is not real. I’m either gonna get out tomorrow or I’m gonna wake up tomorrow in my own bed and this is gonna be the most realistic dream I’ve ever had in my whole life. That definitely did not happen. I woke up in the morning, and had the dirtiest food and milk you can imagine. I ate it. HOW LONG WERE YOU THERE FOR? Nine months, 270 days. WAITING FOR YOUR TRIAL? No. I really can’t tell a white lie. Even if it was gonna get me out of jail, I just can’t do it. I can man up and do what I have to do because of what I was doing. I was sentenced to 9 months literally a month within being there. I wasn’t that dude that was saying “no, wasn’t me, that wasn’t my marijuana.” They made an example of me. Honestly not many people know this story at all. Hopefully it changes people’s perspective on dealing drugs.
ONE HAND IS FOR GRABBING, THE OTHER IS FOR BLOCKING YOUR BACK DOOR. ANOTHER SKILL LEARNED IN JAIL.
I can think of it in their perspective, in the cop’s perspective. In the judge’s perspective. It’s not just you selling the drugs, it’s you selling the drugs to some 17-year-old kid. Maybe that’s just not enough for him. Maybe the weed is not enough, so he moves on to something else. It’s a proven fact that marijuana is a gateway drug to the gnarlier stuff. DID YOU GO THROUGH D.A.R.E. AS A KID? Yeah. THEY TAUGHT ME THAT IF YOU EVER SMOKE WEED, THAT YOU’RE LIKELY TO END UP SHOOTING UP HERION. IT JUMPS FROM SOMETHING HARMLESS TO SOMETHING THAT’S GONNA KILL YOU. BUT THEN YOU SMOKE WEED AND REALIZE EVERYONE DOES THIS. Yeah, that’s not what happens, that’s not how it is at all. YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU MADE THE MOST MONEY OUT OF ANYONE THEY HAD EVER SEEN AT THAT JAIL. Yeah! That was because I was in a part of jail where you could leave and go to work for one of three companies. I built trailers on an assembly line. I was in charge of putting all the finishing touches on the trailers as they were coming off the line. I was working there like six days a week. Most people who worked there would end up getting kicked out. They would go there and realize, “Hey, I can just have my girlfriend bring me drugs while I’m at work!” They would end up getting caught because we were getting drug tested weekly or even just randomly if they suspected anything. So, I pretty much just didn’t do any of that stuff and stayed the course. When I went to go pick up my check after it all ended, the guy giving it to me took a glance at it and said “Welp, that’s the most money I’ve seen come through here in years!” I actually left jail with money. That’s the only part that didn’t absolutely suck. SO WHAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU GOT OUT? I was riding at Brighton, the sickest ski resort in the entire world, without a pass. A guy that we all knew busted me. It’s not his fault, obviously I’m an idiot for trying to take a few laps. I had a mask on but he definitely knew it was me. A couple runs later I get my pass out and he checks it out, asks me to pull my mask down and everything and he realized it wasn’t me. He let me take another lap, apparently so he could figure some stuff out. He calls his manager and I get down and he’s waiting there for me. He takes me to his office/ construction site, and there’s two cops sitting there. We start talking and they tell me I’m gonna get a ticket for theft of services. The cops then look my name up and see a warrant, which super sucked. All I wanted to do was shred for the weekend and go turn myself in on Monday, cause I knew the warrant was out. WHAT WAS THE WARRANT FOR? The warrant is for aggravated assault and theft. Something that had happened a year ago, before I actually got locked up. The deal was I lived with this dude Dylan. I wouldn’t call him my friend, he was a piece of shit. But I was a piece of shit too. I lived with him for four months and paid two months rent. At the fourth month this dude was over it. I would have been over it too. So this dude tells me, “Yo, this dude wants an ounce and I’m not that into him, so I’m taking this money from this kid and you’re coming with me. You haven’t paid rent in two months and this is counting as your rent. Just come with me and make sure everything goes as planned.” This dude is apparently planning on giving the dude a bag of broccoli or something like that and I’m supposed to hit him on the back of the head. Plans do not go that way. Dude asks to see the pot, Dylan starts grabbing the bag and glancing over his shoulder. As Dylan hands him the bag of broccoli, I just sit there. The dude is like,
“What the fuck is this?” Dylan had some brass knuckles already on. He cocks back, hits him in the face. The dude is not giving up. I get out of the car, dude starts running, Dylan tells me to run after the dude. I start literally jogging towards the guy, I’m here for no reason what-so-ever. It was so stupid on my part, I didn’t have a job and I was just mooching. This guy Dylan ends up going to jail a few months later because he has a warrant out. All the sudden this kid starts telling me you’re involved, you have to come to court, to pretty much lie for me. I bailed on that, I didn’t go to trial, I pretty much just kicked it. I went and skated and did my daily routine. So Dylan goes to trial and he beats the case. I think it was two months after that is when the warrant was issued for me, just because my name was actually in the involvement in the case. Long story short, they ended up trying me for the exact same case, and I owned up to it. I ended up talking to the person that was jacked by Dylan, giving him my personal apology. YOU’RE NOT A BAD GUY. YOU JUST WERE WRONG PLACE, WRONG TIME, AND CHOSE TO TELL THE TRUTH. DO YOU THINK THAT SNOWBOARDING HAS HELPED YOU TO GET BACK ON THE RIGHT TRACK? Yeah, it keeps me busy. I would much rather go snowboarding all day and be way too exhausted to go out and party instead of just spending my days partying… which is probably what would have happened if I didn’t have snowboarding. It definitely saved me. DO YOU THINK YOU CAN KEEP IT UP? ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR NEW WAYS? I ain’t going back to jail. That’s done. I’m just going to snowboard as much as I can, everyday until I can’t do that anymore. DO YOU WANT TO FILM A STREET PART? Definitely. A street part is definitely way more important to me than being in park edits when it comes to sponsors and stuff. Even though park footage is just as much exposure as having a full part, but I think the difference between me and Brandon when it comes to that is, I’ve been on probation ever since I was 17 until one month and a few days ago. I’m finally cut loose from the chain. He has stuff holding him back when it comes to going on trips. He’s in a serious relationship. During AMMO, Brandon had a full street part, that was when they were in other relationships. It wasn’t as serious. Now it’s way too serious. What I’m getting at is girlfriends: no. Snowboarding is more important to me than having a girlfriend. When it comes to snowboarding, cool. If I become pro, hell yeah that’s awesome. If I don’t, hell yeah, I met hundreds of people that I’m gonna know for the rest of my life, that are gonna impact my life forever. Going pro is not a huge deal, making money is not a huge deal, it’s about meeting people and doing your own thing. It’s just snowboarding. SO WHO IS BETTER AT SNOWBOARDING? YOU OR YOUR BROTHER? My brother. WHY DO YOU SAY THAT? Because I ride with him everyday, at least when one of us isn’t hurt. But, when it comes to consistency, I seriously don’t know anyone as impressive as him. You can tell him to do pretty much any trick and odds are he’ll get it first try. He’s got the fundamentals on lock like no one else. Back lip, switch back lip, everything regular and switch. He does it with textbook style. HOW DID YOU GET YOUR JOB AT SNOWBOARD CAMP? Well, Sam, my brother’s girlfriend, she had worked in the kitchen, K-Unit, before. She sent an e-mail to Kevin Westenbarger, a.k.a. Dubs, letting him know that I really wanted to work in the kitchen. I was a little late on applying, so he already had a full crew, but he told me if something were to change I’d be the first person he’d call. Then like a week before camp I randomly got a text from Kevin saying I was in. I quit both my jobs that day, packed my stuff, and I’ve been about it ever since.
HOW DO YOU LIKE WORKING IN THE KITCHEN? I love it. It can be very stressful at times but it’s totally worth it. Everyone working on the crew really wants to just snowboard. So we all try to work together as quickly as possible so we can get in the most riding. Also we don’t have any responsibilities on hill, which is sick, so we can just focus on riding. I don’t think I’d want to work anywhere else at camp. SO IS THE HOOD DREAM ALL IT’S CRACKED UP TO BE? I MEAN I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE REALLY BUILD UP THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE. I think the High Cascade dream is exactly what I pictured it to be like, if not even greater than what I thought it would be. It’s the sickest place in the entire world. For anyone that wants to get better at snowboarding, this is the place to be. I think it’s all thanks to the rope tow. I’d never used one before, but it’s a serious game changer. WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THE FUTURE? WHAT’S NEXT? First things first, I’ve learned so many lessons when it comes being around people that you should not be around if you’re a snowboarder and you’re trying to make something of your life. What’s next for me? I feel like if I didn’t mess up that much during all those years, I fully believe me and Brandon would be ripping right next to each other. If he was going to the X Games, I would have been going to the X Games with him. But I just feel like we’d be at the same level if I wouldn’t have made all these stupid little kid decisions. I think it has to do with my dad looking out for me too. If I wouldn’t have stopped doing some of the stuff that I was involved in, then maybe I would have ended up in prison and not jail. Snowboarding wouldn’t even be in my mind if I ended up in prison. The future for me is just having a blast, shredding, not worrying about anything. Not worrying about a probation officer. It’s having fun with my friends. That’s really all I wanna do. I could care less about getting a dollar from a sponsor or making it to the X Games. I really just wanna have fun with friends on a daily basis and somehow be able to do that without having a 9-5 job. I definitely cannot see myself having a 9-5 job for the rest of my life. SPONSORS? SHOUT OUTS? Milo Sport fo sho, the dogs, best shop in the entire world. 32 Outerwear and Boots for hooking me up daily, Electric who I’ve always dreamed of riding for, Nitro Snowboards, mainly Knut for being the truest. Etnies streetwear and shoes, and Brandon Phillips, you’re a boss, congrats on having a kid.
thirty two
thirty two
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WARP WAVE
CAR
DANCHI
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SN OW BO AR D- PR O: Yes, you get
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by BROOKE G E E R Y
Birk
be real here: you’re an ins tructor. r ow n com pan y, bu t even it didn’t want to spo you sucked the right dic nsor you. Hopefully ks (or actually acquired some skills) along the wa score one of those cushy y and maybe you can industry jobs we’ve all he ard so much about.
WA SH ED -PR O: You started you
Birk
HE RE : DA NN Y DA VI S — CO NT BE LO W : JU ST BE CA US E YO ES T- PR O TU RN ED SU PE R- PR O. DR EA U’ RE A PR OLO W ER RI GH PR O DO ES N’ M S DO CO M T: HO PE FU LL E TR UE . T Y M AX TO KU NG A IS N’ T RE M EA N YO U CA N ST OP SH OV ST RI CT ED TO ON E FR EE BO EL IN G. CA M PI ER CE . AR D PE R YE AR .
Geery
RY LO U RE TTO N OF NB UR G IS TH E MA DD EN SA GE KO TSE SU A OF ALL D AN ON E CE RE AL BO X TTO N? EX AC TLY. HO ’S MA RY LO U RE SN OW BO AR DIN G.W
NICK DIRKS LEANNE PELOSI
TEMPLE CUMMINS ERIK LEON
BEN LYNCH
BRANDON COCARD
W W W. M YA I R B L A S T E R . C O M
TIM EDDY
SPRAY WILD! OK!
BILLY MACKEY WALKS THE LINE.
SNOW
B O A R DE R WORDS BY BROOKE GEERY | P H O T O B Y R O B B I E S E L L
OR?
OR
GYPSY ?
BEING A PRO SNOWBOARDER HAS ALWAYS MEANT LIVING A NOMADIC LIFESTYLE, NOT UNLIKE THAT OF A GYPSY. Traveling around the globe to follow the snow, and occasionally causing mischief, well...I’m surprised someone hasn’t brought it up before. And now with the fashion trends that seem to be sweeping the snowboard world, it’s getting almost as hard to tell snowboarders from gypsies as it is to tell hipsters from the homeless. We figured it was probably time to give you some tips on how to tell if the individual you are dealing is simply a”brohemian” who will just steal your weed, or a gypsy who will take you for everything you are worth. Here are five simple steps to be sure. 1) Check their scarf. A real gypsy either wove it themselves from the hair of small children or found in a gutter. If you are dealing with a snowboarder, there is probably an extreme logo on there somewhere. 2) Luggage is always key. A snowboarder probably has nice, matching bags from their sponsor. A gypsy usually travels with garbage bags or cardboard boxes. Be sure to check the contents, because what you think could be a gypsy, might actually be a snowboarder who just received a box of new gear or a really cool snowboarder without a luggage sponsor. 3) Ask them to predict the future. A real gypsy will likely try to get you to pay them. A snowboarder will simply tell you about how sweet the party will be tonight. 4) Go to their house. If it”s a snowboarder you”ll soon be at a sweet condo somewhere in the mountains. A gypsy lives in a clan, in caravans. 5) Look at their bank account. A gypsy probably won’t have one. The snowboarder on the other hand, probably receives regular deposits from Mom and Dad.
SNOW
B O A R DE R OR? WORDS BY DICK LIPTON | PHOTO BY KEAL E N S H I L L I N G
PULL UP YOUR PANTS, SON.
GANGSTA? “YO DAWG BEST NOT SNAKE ME ON DAT C-BOX, CUZ’ YOU KNOW I PACK HEAT!” Maybe you haven’t heard that quote yet, maybe you have, maybe you’ve heard something similar to it, but either way, wouldn’t cold steel pressed against your long johns be uncomfortable? MANY OF YOU ARE EITHER LAUGHING OR MAD, BUT I REALLY HAVE MET THE GUY WHO CLAIMS HE, “PACKS A BURNER.” ON HILL. In reality he was from a part of Oregon where carrying guns isn’t that out of the ordinary. Yet rifles, shotguns, and other huntingrelated weapons don’t exactly fit into your pants that easily, even if they are XXXL. What this hardcore “G” was referring to was something more along the lines of a Glock, or maybe even an Uzi, but I wasn’t that interested and never got to see his gun. It has occurred to me that the snowboard community should know how to handle these situations. What if I wasn’t in Oregon? What if I had been snowboarding Pine Knob, or the mean streets of whatever town is cool in the handrail world now? What if instead of a kid who felt like he needed to act tough, I had run into an actual gangster? Who says they can’t snowboard? I’m equal opportunity, and I bet they would have some rad style.
?
GANGSTA’ HOW TO TELL A GANGSTA’ FROM A LITTLE BOY IN BIG CLOTHES: 1. Gun toting, inner city, gangsters don’t exist in the rural and predominately Caucasian
areas where resort snowboarding takes place. That kid at the resort is not hard. 2. Ever heard of hustlin’? Well if you spend all your time at the mountain how could you possibly be hustlin’? Once again, if you’re at the mountain you couldn’t be a gangster. 3. Rail mission? Inner city? Some dude just bummed a smoke off you, asked for five bucks, and then ran off with your camera? That’s called hustlin’, he’s a gangster. Don’t you feel stupid. 4. Mormon? Not gangster. LAST BUT NOT LEAST: 5. You can’t tell? Good, go snowboarding with the dude and forget about it. The next time you feel as though that ambiguous ball of dangling accessories, headphone cords, and sag is a little too close to you, don’t fret, it couldn’t possibly be anything dangerous, after all he just wants to front blunt the c-box again.
HOW-TO
SRELTE VAAN TY LIFE IS A FUNNY THING. ONE DAY YOU ARE ATTENDING ALL THE HOTTEST PARTIES AND CONSIDERED “COOL” BY THE MASSES, AND THE NEXT DAY YOU ARE WATCHING THE EVENING NEWS AND GETTING DRUNK OFF ONE GLASS OF WINE. It’s not even that you’ve become less cool, it’s just that you are growing up. Suddenly standing elbow-to-elbow in a sweaty bar trying to score free drinks just isn’t as interesting to you. But even though some aspects of your awesome career in action sports have become mundane or even undesirable, it’s still not a bad life. Unfortunately, while the rest of the world wants you to grow up, this industry of cool doesn’t, so it’s important to at least pretend you are still hip. Here are some tips for staying relevant with today’s demanding consumers.
Step 1: Accept Your Own Irrelevance
It doesn’t matter who you are, how long you have been around, or that what you’ve done shaped the current state of things. The kids don’t know who you are, and they don’t care.
WITH
Step 2: Learn to Think Like Them
Thanks to the Internet, there is an endless source of free information about what the kids are into. Don’t ignore it, as dumb as you may think it is, this is what’s happening now.
WORD AND PHO T O S B Y B R O O K E G E E RY
Step 3: Hire an Intern
If you are a real adult (which let’s assume you are if you are becoming irrelevant) you probably don’t have time to scour message boards and blogs for info, and you might not understand what you are reading even if you do. An intern will do this for you. They know the stuff the kids are into because they are a kid. You can make them work for free and if they have good ideas, you can steal them and pass them off as your own!
Step 4: Keep Your References Current
It’s really important to not come off sounding clueless with today’s kids. So make sure you are quoting the appropriate pop culture references. If you are still saying “so hot right now” you are exactly the opposite. Get with the times.
Step 5: Start a Facebook/Blog/Twitter/Instagram/Snapchat/Tinder etc.
All the cool kids have social media. Even if you are uncool, you can fool people by linking and sharing things that are cool and passing it off as your own thoughts. But this is a very important step in staying relevant because without the social web, how will the kids know about all the cool things you are doing?
Step 6: Stay Strong
Finally, don’t mistake the hateful comments which you are sure to receive in these web 2.0 days, as mean. That’s just how today’s kids communicate. Anonymous hate is the new text messaging... What, no one is phrasing things like that anymore? Crap.
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Whether you spend 3, 30 or 300 days of the year on the hill, drugs can be a delightful and plentiful addition to your on-mountain recreational experience. With new, radical drugs popping up everyday, little time and much misinformation, you’ve turned to us, the experts at Yobeat to give you the down-low, skinny on getting fucked up, shredding your brains out and living to tell about it. Keep this shit in check and you’ll be doing drugs, making sweet love and snowboarding forever. Let’s get weird, shall we? Just remember, the best drug known to mankind is snowboarding. So, put that in your pipe and smoke it.
TEXT BY BRAD
OATES
ALCOHOL - It’s cheap, readily available, legal and everyone loves it. Nothing takes your riding to the next level like alcohol. You will become the professional level rider you always wanted to be when you get shit faced. Being drunk is totally socially acceptable in general. So it’s easy to succumb to peer pressure and find yourself pounding cheap beer or getting Smirnoff Ice’d in the parking lot at 8AM. Avoid sin, son! This will only lead to sharting your snowboard pants, ruining your day and/or getting arrested. Take the high road. Start the day with Kahlua & coffee, Bloody Mary or shotgun a light beer for breakfast. Shred hard and sweat that shit out all morning. To keep the buzz going at lunch, treat yourself and the homies to some beers. Hell, you’ve earned it! When apres hits go hard in the paint - shots, mixed drinks, double fisting and what not. Get drunk! You can always blame it on the alcohol, so let your freak flag fly.
MARIJUANA - “Marijuana isn’t a drug. I used to suck dick for cocaine,” Bob Saget famously once said. The dude is right. While the devil’s lettuce might not lead you to be homeless and sucking dick to support your $100 dollar a day heroin habit, having a “safety meeting” on federal land is still a crime. Look out for the law, son! That said, who cares these days? Weed will be legal in the next decade and snowboarders love marijuana almost as much as we love snowboarding. Sometimes snowboarding is just an excuse to smoke weed outside all day. We see gondolas and we just want to get high in them. We’ve got on-hill bongs, on-mountain stoner caves, smoke huts, and two whole fucking states - Colorado & Washington. Which are great places to shred and get high. A mere coincidence? Fuck no! Marijuana and snowboarding will always enjoy a mutually symbiotic relationship because of our first gold medal Olympian, infamous Canadian, Ross Rebagliati. In the first Olympic snowboard event in the ‘98 Nagano Games, Ross would have his gold in GS ripped from his neck over a positive marijuana drug test, only to have it overturned and given back, scoring a huge victory for snowboarders and stoners alike. So puff puff, pass the dutchie to the left, lookout for ski patrol and for Christ’s sake, air out the gondola. Live free and get high.
ILLUSTRATIONS BY JODIE BEECHEM
COCAINE - Like all good things cocaine is best enjoyed in moderation or potentially not at all. Drink it as a tea or gum your lips up with it. That will make you feel like you just had a few coffees or got dental novocaine- South American style. Sniffle the shit down your nasal passages, pull down your goggles on your coked out, numb face and point it straight down the fucking slopes and you’re in for one helluva ride. White lightning on white lightning. Riding like a maniac wacked out on blow. Axel Rose 1989 type shit. Why is there blood on my pillow? Why did I pick this girl up at the bar at the Reno Grand Sierra at 2am? Why is my bank account empty? If you can make it to the other side without STDs, weird regrettable shit being posted online, arrest, public nudity, broken bones or downed bank account? Pffff. Who fucking cares? Ride the lightning, friends. Face shots for everyone!
PSYCHEDELICS - “Nobody stopped thinking about those psychedelic experiences. Once you’ve been to some of those places, you think, how can I get back there again but make it a little easier on myself?” Jerry Garcia once waxed profoundly. You need to listen to Jerry Garcia here, kids. You need to mark closing day on your calendar of your favorite resort and try to stay busy until then. Procure some acid, mushrooms or peyote in the meantime. When closing day comes, take the psychedelics, fry your brains out, and shred like there’s no tomorrow. It’s closing day, and goddamnit if you didn’t deserve to soar like an eagle, connect with nature, see the mountain in a whole new way, laugh with your friends till you cry, puke or get kicked you off the mountain in a state of psychedelic bliss. With psychedelics and snowboarding - limitless possibilities abound. Just don’t take the brown acid, man.
PRESCRIPTION DRUGS - Pretty sure you’ve all got friends with a Ritalin or Adderall prescription, so hit them up and get ready to roll! You don’t want to get caught with your buddy’s prescription bottle, so ditch the lid, break that shit up and snort it down. A less intense, poor man’s version of coke awaits you, and hey, it ain’t crystal meth. You want to snowboard like Denis Leontyev, ya said? Backflip onto rails and the whatnot? You said you lack the shit to get it done, son? Adderall and Ritalin will help you concentrate for extended periods of time. Just watch out for the headaches and the diarrhea.
NOBODY LIKES A POOPY BUTT, EVEN IF YOU’RE BACKFLIPPING ONTO RAILS WACKED OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND.
TREND DAVE SCHIFF’S
REPOR T
T E X T B Y D AV E S C H I F F P H O T O BY JARED SOUNEY
“ONLY PEOPLE AS INTELLIGENT AS WE COULD FAKE SUCH STUPIDITY.” You know who said that? No, you probably don’t, because this is in print and you can’t take your precious little mouse and cut and paste to Google. Well, let me enlighten you fine readers out there. His name is William Henry Cosby Jr. What does Bill Cosby have to do with snowboarding? Absolutely nothing and everything at the same time. You see, Bill (as his alter ego Cliff Huxtable) wore some pretty ugly sweaters in his glory days during the 1980’s. A Frenchman, for lack of better words, may call them “sac qui contient le fumier” or the bag that holds the shit of the horse. AS TIME HAS GONE ON, A REVIVALIST TREND FOR UNIMAGINATIVE DUGONGS (HIPSTERS) TO WEAR HIDEOUS TECHNICOLOR BAGS OF SHIT AS FASHION HAS BEEN SPARKED. Answering the question proposed at the beginning of this tirade; snowboarders love a good trend. It’s the past, present, and future of self- reciprocating dreck, repackaged and recirculated to the naive and lackadaisical ninnies that fill the ranks of the snowboard industry. It goes far beyond fashion; it’s the tricks, it’s the scene, and everything in-between. No matter the amount of flips you chuck, a smooth backside 180 or straight air method will always trump the former. There is a certain amount of skill and control involved to hit a massive kicker and be still with
your movement. This is what makes a fine snowboarder and develops personal style. It becomes the foundation for later improvements. So what is it that makes us cling so hard to something? I got into snowboarding because I didn’t want to be like everyone else that I went to grade school with. I didn’t want to be a typical jock. DON’T GET ME WRONG, I WAS GREAT AT BALL SPORTS. I HELD THE HOMERUN RECORD FOR MY LITTLE LEAGUE. I also was the only person to have a rule made directly because of their actions. I played catcher… (yeah get the laugh out, I said it). Anyway, I would talk soooo much shit to the batters in an attempt to get in their head and help strike them out. So, one time, inspired by Linda Blair, I heckled a kid with the famous line, “Your mother sucks cocks in hell!” Unbeknownst to me, his mother died earlier that week, or year, or something. HE USED MY HEAD LIKE A TEE BALL STAND AND KNOCKED ME THE FUCK OUT WITH A SOLID SWING OF HIS BAT. So after that day the league passed a rule that catchers couldn’t talk to batters anymore. I decided to quit ball sports and take up smoking cigs and skateboarding. This began my fascination with questioning authority. Three years later I read 1984, Brave New World, and Slaughterhouse Five. This solidified my hatred of conformity. Getting back on track, my point is that I know where and when my rebellion exactly came from. It led me to make decisions in my own personal life that were individualistic. One of which was snowboarding, as I thought this was the truest form of selfexpression. Boy, was I sadly mistaken. So it is my plea to you, the future of the shred, please do for the next era what my generation could not. I’m not asking for you to make your own clothing (this isn’t a Phish tour). I’m not saying not to push the limits of aerobatics. Don’t get me wrong, the progression we have seen over the past four decades is staggering and needs to continue. I’m saying, Don’t listen to me. LISTEN TO THE KID INSIDE YOU SCREAMING
TO BE LET FREE.
Words a nd illustrations by Justin Leveille Photo by Danny Kern
RICKY KOUKAL SPREDDING THE GOSPEL.
I spent much of A POWDERLESS WINTER rummaging around Indian burial grounds for sacred snowboard relics. Days before the country got dumped on from coast to coast, I found a sanctified document in the skull of a decaying Native American. Listed below are the ancient commandments defining man’s place with powder.
I. THOU SHALL TRUST THE WISE WORDS OF ELDERS. Many say that wisdom comes with age. Old people can lead you to some crazy shit on the mountain. Often times the youngsters get too anxious and end up choosing a stupid line. Take notes from those who know where they are going.
II. HE WHO FINDS IT SHALL DROP FIRST. It’s common courtesy to let your guide get it first. If you are a newbie being lead to an amazing spot, don’t dare drop-in unless your guide tells you to take it. First tracks are a sacred thing.
III. THOU SHALL KEEP AT LEAST ONE HOMIE IN SIGHT AT ALL TIMES. The expression “no friends on a powder day” is untrue unless you literally have no one you enjoy snowboarding with, which might mean you’re weird. Shredding pow with a friend is not only safer, but they also serve as a witness to all the sick shit you are doing.
IV. THOU SHALT NOT BITCH. Being with a debbie-downer on a powder day blows. If your gear is malfunctioning or you think you’re hurting a little bit too much, do everyone a favor and just go inside. The bottom line is we all understand the situations that can be less-than-ideal on a powder day, but we really don’t need to hear a sob story about yours.
V. THOU SHALL TAKE THE SINGLES LINE. If the weekend crowds are killing the mood, split up and zip through the singles line. Who knows, you might get to ride up with a snow bunny and shred away not-so-single.
VI. THOU SHALL POINT ALL JOEYS IN THE WRONG DIRECTION. “DUDE, My company gave me free ski-blade rentals today, can you tell me where all the best powder runs are?” If a Joey is hassling you on the lift about all your secret spots, do not hesitate to send him towards the nearest magic carpet.
VII. THOU SHALL REFER TO ALL AWESOME RUNS AS “HORRIBLE” IN THE LIFT LINE. Code word “horrible” is a great way to tell your friends in line how amazing a run was without drawing attention to yourself. The worse you make the run sound, the better it actually is.
VIII. THOU SHALL NOT PEE IN AN OPEN POWDER FIELD. I would like to think of a man’s ability to pee in the woods as a privilege, not a right. For goodness sake, pee on a tree. There is nothing worse than tomahawking into a warm yellow snow. Besides, pissing in the middle of a pristine powder field takes a deranged sort of person.
IX. THOU SHALL SHARE ALL SNACKS. If you have sustenance, it is your duty to hook your friend up with a piece. It can be tortuous watching one of your homies put back a granola bar without the thought of offering you any. If they deny you food and you get hurt, blame them.
X. THOU SHALL NOT BOAST TO FRIENDS WHO COULD NOT SHRED. Listening to you tell me how much it sucks that I couldn’t go reminds me of how much it sucks to be your friend. Did you learn nothing from the enlightening experience you just came back from? Don’t come home and rub it in.
S’ODNOH
A
MIDGET PORN:
EDIUG
TO BECOMING
SUPER-
HERO
WORDS BY HONDO | ILLUSTRATIONS BY TRAVIS MILLARD
So I used to work for a different magazine, and while I was at that magazine I had a column called Hon-dos and don’ts. I wanted to write a column like that for the new Yobeat print magazine (the thing you’re reading right now), but I didn’t want to call it the same thing because I DIDN’T WANT TO GET SUED. So this right here, this is that same thing, but with a different name. Without further ado, here is Jason Newman’s Guide to Becoming a Cartoon Character in a Snowboard Magazine. DO: Work for a snowboard magazine. YOU CAN’T BECOME A CARTOON CHARACTER IF YOU DON’T WORK FOR THE MAGAZINE. DON’T: Not put yourself out there. Sure you may have the job, but if no one knows who you are, why would they spend time to illustrate you? DO: Be OK with people talking shit about you behind your back all the time. Fuck em. They’re just normal, boring people. DON’T: Be boring. No one likes boring cartoons. They get cancelled. Do you remember the last boring cartoon you watched? Exactly... DO: Get a nickname. It makes shit way easier. Trust me. DON’T: Take yourself too serious. In all actuality, no one gives a shit.
Like Hondo, Yobeat Creative Director Jared Souney made a horrible life decision in the 90s and wasted away for two years working at Transworld. This was the last paycheck he got in the mail. Hesent back with a little love note as seen above. We thought it made snese here. DON’T: Ever move somewhere for a job. You’ll regret it.
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YOB E A T C O M M E N T S : L E A V E
Y O B E AT T H E M A G A Z I N E Issue 1. Released October 2014 PUBLISHER/EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Brooke Geery brooke@yobeat.com C R E AT I V E D I R E C T O R / A R T D I R E C T I O N Jared Souney jared@yobeat.com ADVERTISING SALES Justin Parkhust justin@yobeat.com
WORDS Justin Leveille, Hondo, Dale Bailey, Oliver Dixon, Sean Kerrick Sullivan, Keenan Cawley, Rachel Cotton, Dave Schiff, Todd Richards, Brad Oates, P. Andrew Hart PHOTOGRAPHY Danny Kern, Kealan Shilling, Aaron Blatt, Sean Kerrick Sullivan, Eddy Densow, Jesse Anderson, Jared Souney, Ben Birk I L L U S T R AT I O N S Travis Millard, Jodie Beechem, Jared Souney COPY EDITING Autumn Rose, Professor William Fraser MASCOT Party Time Nate THANKS Weed, coffee, booze Y O B E AT H A S B E E N M A K I N G F U N O F SNOWBOARDING SINCE 1997. Yobeat HQ 8101 SE Flavel ST Portland OR 97026 Send a SASE for free stickers. If you don’t know what that means, please just stick to the internet. Oh yeah, we also exist online. Y O B E AT. C O M JOHNNY PAXSON
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