Arriving at college can be a culture shock.
You might be headed for a community college around the corner, where many other students share your background. But if you go to a state or private university, your fellow students may not seem to have much in common with you. Jackie Comminello worried about this when she started at the University of Colorado in Denver.
» I was so nervous going in there, because all these white people were dressed nice and I could tell they had money, they probably went to really
During her first months at Northwestern University in the Chicago suburb of Evanston, Niema had a hard time with its quiet setting. It made a sharp contrast with where she grew up.
» I was trying to understand how these people could have such perfect lives, like out of the suburbs, and people in Oakland could be struggling the way they were. – N I E M A
When she went out with friends to formal dances on campus, she felt out of place.
good schools, and I knew it. I was like, Wow, these people are really smart and here I am coming from North High School. So I was intimidated, I felt like I wasn’t going to do good. But I decided to stick it out, just go against the odds. – J A C K I E
Eric felt similar worries when he first arrived at Wake Forest University, a selective private college in North Carolina. Students were driving up in expensive cars packed with stuff to outfit their dorm rooms. The clothes they wore looked nothing like his. From the minute he opened his mouth, Eric realized that he spoke differently.
» When I first came, I used a lot of slang. But some of the stuff that I can say and do at home—like “Yo, what’s up, pimp?”—I can’t do it here. They just looked at me real funny, like, “What did you just call me?!” So I’ve calmed down a lot of my street slang: You can’t say this, watch how you say that. Because that’s too much of a culture shock for them. – E R I C
Eric had discovered that he actually knew two languages, which would be an asset to him as he moved through his different communities. He didn’t have to give up his neighborhood style, but he could choose the times he wanted to use it and when he would speak more formal English. When Mike left Mississippi for Brigham Young University, he found himself in a conservative Utah setting. The college rules frowned upon the kind of social life he used to enjoy in his rural African-American neighborhood. People even raised their eyebrows at the way he looked.
» I have tattoos on my shoulders—one that says “love family” in Chinese
» I can’t call my mom and ask her necessarily what to wear. She’s never been to those type of events, she’s like, “What are you talking about?” – N I E M A
But as Niema got off campus more, she discovered that this college town had more than one side to it.
» Evanston is one of those places that’s really split up. It has poverty, there’s students who are struggling. You get this off-kilter idea of it, because you don’t necessarily have to leave the campus if you don’t want to. – N I E M A
Exploring the edges of Evanston helped Niema feel less alienated. Just as important, she began to see that her first impressions would not always reveal the whole story about a place—or about a person, either. Milenny, too, saw that her first assumptions did not always hold true. When she later became a residential adviser in a dormitory, she grew more attuned to the complexity of her college community.
» I learned not to assume, because I had to deal with so many people. Even just making a bulletin board, I couldn’t assume that everyone was a certain religion or a certain race. How to interact with people became very important. – M I L E N N Y
Stick it out, and keep connecting with people.
In the sea of faces that met her during the first weeks at college, Milenny didn’t understand why a particular staff member approached her and suggested they meet to talk.
writing, one of a football, and my initial. And people around here don’t believe in that. – M I K E
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F I R S T I N T H E FA M I LY
FA C I N G T H E H U R D L E S
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