Where Did It Go? by Gene Rutt

Inside of every older person is a younger person asking,

“Where Did It Go?”

Vol 2 Nr 3 March 2010

A Fun and Informative Rag for Those Who Have Been Around the Block and Attended at Least One Rodeo

Top O’ the Mornin’

Everything Happens For a Reason (Author Unknown)

Croagh Patrick, County Mayo, Ireland from Murrisk Abbey

St. Patrick’s Day is celebrated on March 17, his religious feast day and the anniversary of his death in the fifth century. The Irish have observed this day as a religious holiday for over a thousand years. On St. Patrick’s Day, which falls during the Christian season of Lent, Irish families would traditionally attend church in the morning and celebrate in the afternoon. Lenten prohibitions against the consumption of meat were waived and people would dance, drink, and feast—on the traditional meal of Irish bacon and cabbage. The first St. Patrick’s Day parade took place not in Ireland, but in the United States. Irish soldiers serving in the English military marched through New York City on March 17, 1762. Along with their music, the parade helped the soldiers to reconnect with their Irish roots, as well as fellow Irishmen serving in the English army. Over the next thirty-five years, Irish patriotism among American immigrants flourished, prompting

the rise of so-called “Irish Aid” societies, like the Friendly Sons of Saint Patrick and the Hibernian Society. Each group would hold annual parades featuring bagpipes (which actually first became popular in the Scottish and British armies) and drums. In 1848, several New York Irish aid societies decided to unite their parades to form one New York City St. Patrick’s Day Parade. Today, that parade is the world ‘s oldest civilian parade and the largest in the United States, with over 150,000 participants. Each year, nearly three million people line the one-and-a-half mile parade route to watch the procession, which takes more than five hours. Boston, Chicago, Philadelphia, and Savannah also celebrate the day with parades including between 10,000 to 20,000 participants. Symbols and Traditions The Shamrock The shamrock, which was also called the “seamroy” by the Celts,

“No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is as formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.” - Ronald Reagan

was a sacred plant in ancient Ireland because it symbolized the rebirth of spring. By the seventeenth century, the shamrock had become a symbol of emerging Irish nationalism. As the English began to seize Irish land and make laws against the use of the Irish language and the practice of Catholicism, many Irish began to wear the shamrock as a symbol of their pride in their heritage and their displeasure with English rule. Irish Music Music is often associated with St. Patrick’s Day—and Irish culture in general. From ancient days of the Celts, music has always been an important part of Irish life. The Celts had an oral culture, where religion, legend, and history were passed from one generation to the next by way of stories and songs. After being conquered by the English, and forbidden to speak their own language, the Irish, like other oppressed peoples, turned to music to help them remember important events and hold on to their heritage and history. As it often stirred emotion and helped to galvanize people, music was outlawed by the English. During her reign,Queen Elizabeth I even Continued, pg. 6

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be; your roommate, your neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover or even a complete stranger who, when you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you and at the time they seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never have realized your potential, strength, will and power of heart. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments or true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of the soul. Without these small tests, if they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smooth paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. Safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet who affect your life and successes and downfalls you experience, they are the ones who create who you are. Even the bad experience can be learned from... Those lessons are the hardest and probably the most important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart... forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them. Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen, let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go and live it. Have a fighting spirit and never hesitate to get back in the struggle!

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2 Where did it go March 2010

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March 2010 Where Did It Go 3

Letter from the Editor

As you can see, this issue has a distinctive Irish flavor to much of it, influenced by the fact that St. Patty’s Day is celebrated on March 17.

We’ve touched on the history of St. Patrick himself, traditional Irish music, some Irish drinks and even a couple of Irish myths. One of our advertisers, Texas Travelers, has a “Shades of Ireland” tour planned and it looks well worth investigating. And speaking of advertisers, please try to patronize ours and let them know where you heard about them. Businesses are often hesitant to advertise because it is so difficult to track its effectiveness. We try to do a good job for them and for you. I shot the picture on page one of Croagh Patrick mountain a couple years ago. It is the scene of an annual pilgrimmage to the top and the history of it and the Famine Ship Memorial near the bottom is a moving experience. In addition to Leprechauns, feted in the adjacent column, there is another little creature around called the Gremlin that is known to all in the publishing and printing business. After the finished print product has been carefully proofed and put to bed, these little creatures come out at night and move words, letters and pictures to locations they don’t belong, making the aforementioned publishers and printers look like dumbo’s. This is kind of bad in an article but it’s real bad if it’s in a client’s ad. So should you ever encounter one of these typo’s in this publication, you can bet it is the fault of a Gremlin, and not the publisher or advertiser. This occured last issue in the Bayway Homes ad to the left when the Gremlin switched pictures on us. The quality of Bayway Homes is unquestionable, so we know who is to blame.

Gene Rutt - Publisher/Editor Abuse of words has been the great instrument of sophistry and chicanery, of party, faction, and division of society. - John Adams sophistry: An argument that seems plausible, but is fallacious or misleading, especially one devised deliberately to be so. chicanery: deception or trickery, especially by the clever manipulation of language

SOUND FAMILIAR?

Irish Toasts

For All Occasions

Irish Faeries & Myths The leprechaun has been described as Ireland’s national fairy. The name leprechaun may have derived from the Irish word for either shoemaker or pygmy. These apparently aged, diminutive men are frequently found intoxicated with Irish home-brew poteen. However they never become so drunk that the hand which holds the hammer becomes unsteady and their shoemaker’s work affected. Leprechauns have also become selfappointed guardians of ancient treasure, burying it in crocks or pots. This may be one reason why leprechauns tend to avoid contact with humans whom they regard as foolish, flighty and greedy. If caught by a mortal, he will promise great wealth if allowed to go free. He carries two leather pouches. In one there is a silver shilling, a magical coin that returns to the purse each time it is paid out. In the other he carries a gold coin which he uses to try and bribe his way out of difficult situations. This coin usually turns to leaves or ashes once the leprechaun has parted with it. However, you must never take your eye off him, for he can vanish in an instant. He may also steal or borrow almost anything, creating mayhem in houses during the hours of darkness, raiding wine cellars and larders. They will also harness sheep, goats, dogs and even domestic fowl and ride them throughout the country at night. The banshee (pictured above) may be an ancestral spirit appointed to forewarn members of certain ancient Irish families of their time of death. According to tradition, the banshee can only cry for five major Irish families. Intermarriage has since extended this select list. Whatever her origins, the banshee chiefly appears in one of three guises: a young woman, a stately matron or a raddled old hag. These represent the triple aspects of the Celtic goddess of war and death. She usually wears either a grey, hooded cloak or the winding sheet or grave robe of the unshriven dead. She may also appear as a washerwoman, and is seen apparently washing the blood stained clothes of those who are about to die. In this guise she is known as the washing woman. Although not always seen, her mourning call is heard, usually at night when someone is about to die. She is then referred to as the keening woman whose wail can be so piercing that it shatters glass. She may also appear in a variety of other forms, such as that of a hooded crow, stoat, hare and weasel - animals associated in Ireland with witchcraft.

Saint Patrick was a gentleman, Who through strategy and stealth, Drove all the snakes from Ireland, Here’s a toasting to his health. But not too many toastings Lest you lose yourself and then Forget the good Saint Patrick And see all those snakes again. Wherever you go and whatever you do, May the luck of the Irish be there with you. May you have all the happiness and luck that life can hold— And at the end of all your rainbows may you find a pot of gold. May your pockets be heavy— Your heart be light, And may good luck pursue you Each morning and night. May your home always be too small to hold all your friends. May you live to be 100 years, with one extra year to repent. We drink to your coffin. May it be built from the wood of a hundred year old oak tree that I shall plant tomorrow. May the good Lord take a liking to you... But not too soon! I drink to your health when I’m with you, I drink to your health when I’m alone, I drink to your health so often, I’m starting to worry about my own! May the lilt of Irish laughter lighten every load. May the mist of Irish magic shorten every road... I have known many and liked not a few, but loved only one and this toast is to you. May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings, slow to make enemies and quick to make friends. And may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward. Here’s to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold pint-- and another one! May there always be work for your hands to do; May your purse always hold a coin or two; May the sun always shine on your windowpane; May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain; May the hand of a friend always be near you; May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you. and may you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you’re dead.

4 Where did it go March 2010

Computer Tips

Where Did It Go? P.O. Box 1460 Dickinson, TX 77539 832-265-5691

Marlene Jones Owner - Friendly Computers

Extend the Life of Your Computer Part II

Editor/Publisher

Make it Better and Faster Many computers are needlessly replaced with new ones because they are perceived as being too slow. The decrease in speed occurs over time so the user forgets how its current performance compares to the way it ran when it was new. As we visit websites, various components like toolbars are added to the computer and many times the additional items aren’t even used by the computer user. Temporary files are created on the computer consuming disk space and serving no good purpose. Spyware and Adware also accumulate over time decreasing computer performance. Components of programs installed by the owner are placed in the startup group causing the computer to take a long time to boot. All software suppliers want you to be happy with their product so they cause part of their programs to start when your computer boots. This makes the program appear to start quickly when needed. Removing these items from the startup group can make applications start slower, but depending on how often the program is used, it may not matter. All of these items make the computer run slow. A general software “tune up” can significantly enhance the computer’s performance. The memory or RAM (Random Access Memory) that computers use when running programs was very expensive until recently so most new computers were equipped with a the minimum required for reasonable performance. RAM is inexpensive now and adding memory does more to increase computer performance than anything available from a dollars spent perspective. In summary, there are several things that can be done to increase the life expectancy and performance of your current computer that are relatively inexpensive. Depending on your situation, one or all of the following could be helpful and save money in the long run:

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Contributors

Gene Rutt Marlene Jones Captain B.G. Willie

Account Rep Elizabeth Scott

832-454-1940

A Fun and Informative Rag for Those Who Have Been Around the Block and Attended at least One Rodeo. We are essentially targeting 15,000 40+ readers each month from San Leon to Pearland and all points in between but have enough fun for everybody no matter their age.

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Kemah PanJam Festival Steel pans (also known as steel drums or pans, and sometimes collectively with musicians as a steel band) is a musical instrument and a form of music originating from Trinidad. Drumming was used as a form of communication among the enslaved Africans and was subsequently outlawed by the British colonial government in 1783. African slaves also performed during Mardi Gras celebrations, joining the French that had brought the tradition to the island. Traditionally, steel pans have been built from used oil barrels. Nowadays, many instrument makers do not rely on used steel containers and get the resonance bodies manufactured according to their preferences and technical specifications About 2002 or 2003, confused because this is the 7th annual but don’t know how Hurricane Ike affected the schedule, a group of local Kemah citizens organized the first Pan Jam Festival in Kemah. They brought in a number of Pan Jam groups including one of the most famous pannists, Robert Greenidge of Jimmy Buffett’s Coral Reefer band and Ellie Mannette, also known as the father of the modern steel drum instrument. Pan Jam is authentic Caribbean steel drum, calypso music and reggae singers who have performed all over the world, at events ranging from backyard parties to Presidential receptions. The streets of the Kemah Lighthouse District come alive with the lively beat of steel drums at the annual Kemah Pan Jam Steel Drum Festival. By presenting the rich sound of steel drum music to increasing numbers of new patrons each year, the Kemah PanJam Steel Drum Festival helps preserve the music’s rich history. This year, the Festival takes place on Saturday, March 27, 2010 from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. on the 6th Street Parking Lot in Kemah, TX. The event showcases steel drum bands, other live entertainment, children’s activities, the Chili Cook Off, more great food and beverages; plus, arts and crafts booths. The Kemah Lighthouse District boasts many shops, fine restaurants, and a lively nightlife.

March 2010 Where Did It Go 5

Traditional Celtic Music Songs in any culture teach you about the history of that culture. Long before people in Ireland began writing ballads in English, there were thousands of songs and ballads in Irish. The history of Irish music has been influenced by the political fluctuation within the country. Periods of strife have destroyed all by the most fragmentary evidence of activity prior to the 16th Century. Traditional music is the music of the community, transmitted orally and by ear and handed down from one generation to another. It originated more in the rural areas of Ireland, as opposed to the urban areas. Today it is a living tradition with variations and ornamentation of many musicians. Irish Folk Music is the music and song in the national heritage. It includes older Irish songs and melodies, the Anglo-Irish songs and ballads of the countryside, and the rich vein of dance music. It relies on its melodic line for effect. In Gaelic speaking Ireland song entered into every aspect of life from birth to work to keening for the dead. The musical activity of the ruling class centered around Dublin. It was European music and very important at banquets and ceremonial occasions. The most popular musical instrument in ancient Ireland was the Harp (cruit). It was featured in the earliest myths and legends. In modern times, songwriters and musicians have joined old poems and new melodies, or they have taken old airs and wrote new lyrics to create a new song. Prior to 1920, Traditional music was usually played in the home or at gatherings, seldom was it heard on the stage with two musicians or more. In the west of Ireland, on summer evenings, people gathered at the Crossroads, playing their music and dancing Many Irish traditional musicians who had emigrated to America in the 1920’s and 1930’s were beginning to find full time employment as professional musicians and began recording the music. Their recordings would have a great impact on the future shape of traditional music in Ireland. The ‘Ceili Band’ emerged in the late 1930’s with instruments like the accordion, banjo, concertina, fiddle and flutes, later adding drums and piano. In the 1950’s Dennis Day and Bing Crosby were recording American Irish songs. In the meantime in America, the Folk Music was on the rise with groups such as the Weavers, Pete Seeger and The Kingston Trio. Moving into the early 1960’s Peter, Paul and Mary, Bob Dylan and Joan Baez were on the scene. Four young men in Aran

sweaters were singing folk songs and ballads of their native land, the Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem. Once they appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show they began Tommy Makem

making Irish Music history. They were the single largest influence on the Traditional Folk genre of aspiring young talent, who has since, come out of Ireland. The Chieftains

The Chieftains, most of who played with O’Riada, developed from this group. With the modern influences of old traditions, in the music of the Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem, and Sean O’Riada, other genres have developed within Irish and Celtic music.

Luke Kelly

The Dubliners featuring Luke Kelly has also made their mark with a large collection of traditional music often played in a raucous Irish drinking party atmosphere. kelly has also recorded one of the most haunting songs of recent years entitled “On Ragland Road.” Irish Traditional Music includes many different types of songs, and instrumental music from Irish history. It is orally passed on from one generation to another. Today it is transmitted by recordings, radio, television, live performances, and sesiuns. It is a living, vibrant

tradition in constant change, but a slow change, and is ageless and priceless. Old melodies are adapted to modern forms. It was more rural than urban, but today it is heard in every nook and cranny the world over. From the invasion of the English in the 1100’s until the collection of melodies by Edward Bunting in1792, not much has been recorded on the music of the ordinary people. Edward Bunting was a young, professional organist, who was commissioned to record the music of the Harper’s at the Belfast Harp Festival in 1792. The festival sponsors, referred to as the ‘antiquarian movement’, knew the Gaelic culture was being destroyed. They knew it had to be recorded before it was totally wiped out. One of the harpers in attendance at the festival was Denis Hempson, well into his nineties and an old style player. The old style consisted of holding the harp to the left shoulder and spiney fingernails on the right hand plucking the lower wirestrung strings while the left hand played the upper strings. Denis Hempson was the last living Gaelic Harper. The other harpers played with gut-string harps, the same as those used in Europe. Edward Bunting was so taken with Hempson that he devoted the rest of his life to collecting the old melodies. Bunting had published his general collection of the ancient airs in 1796 with further editions published in 1809 and 1840. There were approximately 300 melodies; many published for the first time. Bunting had also modified many of the melodies from their original version. He was not a Gaelic speaker, so he hired ‘contract collectors’ to help collect the melodies. One such collector was Patrick Lynch, a Gaelic speaker; however, he was never given credit for his work. Along with the harpers who performed their music for the aristocracy, on parallel, were the ordinary people playing music for themselves. The instruments they used were primitive fiddles, pipes, flutes, and whistles. The repressive laws at that time were designed to stamp out the Gaelic order lifestyle. As a result, the harpists’ music declined but was quickly replaced by the uilleann pipes for higher ranks of society. Many of the harpers and pipers were blind; music was an arena where the blind musicians could prosper as opposed to any other field of work. The Irish Traditional Music that is played today evolved from the peasantry of the 17th century, the ordinary people who passed the tradition aurally.

6 Where did it go March 2010

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decreed that all artists and pipers were to be arrested and hanged on the spot. Today, traditional Irish bands like The Chieftains, the Clancy Brothers, and Tommy Makem are gaining worldwide popularity. Their music is produced with instruments that have been used for centuries, including the fiddle, the uilleann pipes (a sort of elaborate bagpipe), the tin whistle (a sort of flute that is actually made of nickel-silver, brass, or aluminum), and the bodhran (an ancient type of framedrum that was traditionally used in warfare rather than music). ( See Irish Music Page 5) The Snake It has long been recounted that, during his mission in Ireland, St. Patrick once stood on a hilltop (which is now called Croagh Patrick), and with only a wooden staff by his side, banished all the snakes from Ireland. In fact, the island nation was never home to any snakes. The “banishing of the snakes” was really a metaphor for the eradication of pagan ideology from Ireland and the triumph of Christianity. Within two hundred years of Patrick’s arrival, Ireland was completely Christianized. Who Was St. Patrick? St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, is one of Christianity’s most widely known figures. But for all his celebrity, his life remains somewhat of a mystery. Many of the stories traditionally associated with St. Patrick, including the famous account of his banishing all the snakes from Ireland, are false, the products of hundreds of years of exaggerated storytelling. Taken Prisoner By Irish Raiders It is known that St. Patrick was born in Britain to wealthy parents near the end of the fourth century. He is believed to have died on March 17, around 460 A.D. Although his father was a Christian deacon, it has been suggested that he probably took on the role because of tax incentives and there is no evidence that Patrick came from a particularly religious family. At the age of sixteen, Patrick was taken prisoner by a group of Irish raiders who were attacking his family’s estate. They transported him to Ireland where he spent six years in captivity. (There is some dispute over where this captivity took place. Although many believe he was taken to live in Mount Slemish in County Antrim, it is more likely that he was held in County Mayo near Killala.) During this time, he worked as a shepherd, outdoors and away from people. Lonely and afraid,

he turned to his religion for solace, becoming a devout Christian. (It is also believed that Patrick first began to dream of converting the Irish people to Christianity during his captivity.) Guided By Visions After more than six years as a prisoner, Patrick escaped. According to his writing, a voicewhich he believed to be God’sspoke to him in a dream, telling him it was time to leave Ireland. To do so, Patrick walked nearly 200 miles from County Mayo, where it is believed he was held, to the Irish coast. After escaping to Britain, Patrick reported that he experienced a second revelationan angel in a dream tells him to return to Ireland as a missionary. Soon after, Patrick began religious training, a course of study that lasted more than fifteen years. After his ordination as a priest, he was sent to Ireland with a dual missionto minister to Christians already living in Ireland and to begin to convert the Irish. (Interestingly, this mission contradicts the widely held notion that Patrick introduced Christianity to Ireland.) Bonfires and Crosses Familiar with the Irish language and culture, Patrick chose to incorporate traditional ritual into his lessons of Christianity instead of attempting to eradicate native Irish beliefs. For instance, he used bonfires to celebrate Easter since the Irish were used to honoring their gods with fire. He also superimposed a sun, a powerful Irish symbol, onto the Christian cross to create what is now called a Celtic cross, so that veneration of the symbol would seem more natural to the Irish. (Although there were a small number of Christians on the island when Patrick arrived, most Irish practiced a nature-based pagan religion. The Irish culture centered around a rich tradition of oral legend and myth. When this is considered, it is no surprise that the story of Patrick’s life became exaggerated over the centuriesspinning exciting tales to remember history has always been a part of the Irish way of life.)

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument..... Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

March 2010 Where Did It Go 7

Libations for March

BANDS

Please Drink Responsibility

Guinness The “perfect pint” of Draught Guinness is the product of a lengthy “double pour”, which according to the company should take 119.53 seconds. Guinness has promoted this wait with advertising

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campaigns such as “good things come to those who wait”. Ideally a pint of Guinness should be served in a slightly tulip shaped pint glass which contains a ridge approx 3/4 of the way up the glass. The glass is then rested until the initial pour settles, and the remainder of the glass is then filled with a slow pour until the head forms a slight dome over the top of the glass. Some bartenders also draw a simple design, using the flow of Guinness from the head of the tap, such as a shamrock in the head during the slow pour.

ounces Irish whiskey ounces hot coffee dash creme de menthe maraschino cherry dessert topping, pressurized teaspoon brown sugar

Pour Irish whiskey into a coffee mug. Fill with black coffee and brown sugar and stir until sugar is dissolved. Spray a generous amount of whipped dessert topping (the canned, pressurized topping is easiest to use) on top of the coffee. Trickle creme de menthe to form green stripes on the whipped topping and place the cherry on top. Serve immediately.

Irish Flag Shot 1 part crème de menthe 1 part Irish cream liqueur 1 part Grand Marnier Pour the crème de menthe into a shot glass, then float the Irish cream liqueur on top of the crème de menthe, then float the Grand Marnier on top of the Irish cream liqueur.

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18th Street Pier Bar & Grill 101 18th St San Leon, TX 77539

(281) 339-2600

• • • • • • •

Beautiful view of bay Great burgers & fries Fishing pier Tuesday $6 Steak Night Live Bands Karaoke Covered Bike Parking

Monthly Concerts

David Alan Coe March 13

8 Where did it go March 2010

Linda’s Wholesale Jewelry

Area’s Largest Selection - If you can’t find it, we’ll order it!!!

Bagpiper’s

GRAND OPENING SALE - 30% OFF ALL MARCH

219 Grand Avenue Bacliff, TX 77518 281-549-4029 Come Browse Our Selection - No Mall Hassle, Great Local Parking! Open Daily or by Appointment

William Henslee Owner/Operator Ofce:

281-332-0004 Cell:

281-808-3061 Address: P.O. Box 15 Kemah, TX 77565

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave side service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the Kentucky back-country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost; and being a typical man I didn’t stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man. And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low my heart was full. As I was opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

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Kemah PanJam 2010

Kemah, Tx Saturday March 27, 2010 10 am - 10 pm ENTERTAINMENT: Earl La Pierre-Cayman Islands Hannah’s Reef U of H Pantagonist Tall & Short of it San Jacinto Steel Drum Band College Steel Drum Band Outriggers

Lots of ice-cold beverages and festival foods available from the booths in the Kemah parking lot. There are many Craft Vendors, a Bunji Jump, a Texas Chili Cookoff, and giant inflatable’s for the kids.

Admission is free!

Plus a big raffle at the end of the day and you do not have to be present to win!

www.kemahpanjam.com

March 2010 Where Did It Go 9

A LITTLE COUNTRY FUN GRANDPARENTS

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”

The Battle On the Bernard The Battle On the Bernard (B.O.B.), a friendly tug of war competition brought to you by the West of the Brazos Communities, is getting geared up for its second annual “tug” on the San Bernard River at the FM 2611 bridge Saturday, March 27, 2010. The event offers fun and food for the entire family. Battle On the Bernard’s mascot, B.O.B. the Pelican, invites everyone to take their spring break investigating the only tug-of-war over a river in the state of Texas. B.O.B. is planned to generate friendly competition between communities and create an atmosphere where West of the Brazos community organizers can all pull together, pool their talents and work towards common goals. So… if you are involved in any organization (school bands, football teams, cheerleaders, volunteer fire departments, police departments, service organizations, any 501c3 organization or just a group of friends) B.O.B. would like to see you at the “tug” with a team of a maximum of 20 people (only 12 people will be allowed to pull on the 2 minute tug). Rules and Entry forms can be found on www.battleonthebernard.com . This year, the battle will be limited to the first 16 teams (and the West of the Brazos Mayors’ Challenge) who enter. It costs nothing to enter. August 22, 2009 at B.O.B.’s Inaugural “tug” an estimated 600 people lined the shores of the San Bernard River to watch teams stretch a rope over the river. Sweeny won the Mayors’ team challenge, and The Dudes of Churchill won first place in the overall challenge. But, 2010 holds a new challenge. B.O.B.

the pelican says he has heard that Loose Cannons has vowed to take home the trophy this year, and the Mayors’ teams are “buffing up” for a rematch. B.O.B. is also offering a chance for local non-profit organizations to make a little money by manning food and beverage booths offering refreshments for the event. There are limited spaces available, so please contact the Sweeny, West Columbia or Brazoria Chambers of Commerce to apply. In the meantime, get ready to show your community pride. Get out there, gather your team, flex your muscles and get ready to tug. Battle On the Bernard T-shirts are available for sale at Precinct 4 County Commissioner’s office in Brazoria, or at the Brazoria, Sweeny, or West Columbia Chambers of Commerce. They will also be available at the event. Don’t forget to check out the website, www. battleonthebernard.com and see the latest B.O.B., the Pelican, sightings. If you see B.O.B., be sure to send in your sighting! B.O.B. is on vacation and is slowly making his way back to the San Bernard in order to officiate over the contest and award the winners of the second annual tug-of war. For rules, team applications, vendor applications and sponsorship forms contact the Kay Millsap at 979- 798-2158, Pat Webb at 979-964-4503 or visit: www.battleonthebernard. com .

She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she’d done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, “But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!” I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.... My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, “Did you start at 1?” After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was THAT?” I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!” When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, “It’s no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.” When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, “I’m not sure.” “Look in your underwear, Grandpa,” he advised “Mine says I’m 4 to 6.” A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, “Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.” The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. “That’s interesting.” she said. “How do you make babies?” “It’s simple,” replied the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.” A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back,” said one child. “No,” said another. “He’s just for good luck.” A third child brought the argument to a close.”They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrants.” A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. “Oh,” he said, “she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we’re done having her visit, we take her back to the airport.” A little boy was diligently pounding away on his grandfather’s word processor. He told him he was writing a story. “What’s it about?” he asked. “I don’t know,” he replied. “I can’t Read.”

10 Where did it go March 2010

Kala Garcia, Realtor

Wild Hogs in US are ‘Out of Control’ Hogzilla

832-721-7121 kalarealtor@gmail.com

Waterfront

Stunning Palazzo Custom home on Clear Lake. Gourmet Island Kitchen w/ Granite Countertops. Perfect for entertaining. Pool/jacuzzi. 3-4 bedrooms, theater room. Elevator. $749,900

Dickinson - Nice 3 bedroom 2 bath home with good curb appeal. Large living area with fireplace. Kitchen has lots of cabinet and counter space. Laundry room in the house. Large fully fenced back yard. $99,000

Waterfront

Waterview

Highland Bayou Waterview 4/3/1. Pretty laminate and tile floors, big kitchen, large lots, corner property. $127,000. Possible owner finance.

League City Waterfront Condo 2/1 , Open, high ceilings, bamboo floors, all appliances, elevator, pool, workout room. Boat slips available. (Davis Rd) $107,000

San Leon - Cleared lots with culverts. Good locations priced from $20,000. Build your dream home. Unrestricted. Possible owner finance.

Gulf Coast Realtors

312 FM 517 W 281-534-GULF (4853)

Dickinson, Texas 77539 www.gulfcoastrealtors.net

Terrys Marine Service

Engine Rebuilds, Outboard & Stern drive repairs Located at San Leon Marina Phone (281) 559-4827 Cell (281) 507-4889

Last Chance for the First Time Home Buyer Loan $8000 Tax Credit expires April 30, 2010 Pending government availability and buyer qualifications.

$8000 Tax Credit for First Time Buyers!

Thanks to the new economic stimulus package just passed, first time buyers will get up to an $8,000 tax credit by purchasing a house by April 30, 2010. Mortgage lenders offer first time buyers with many home loan options and assist the buyer in finding the best home loan for them. First time home buyer programs can offer lower interest rates, low down payments, or reduced taxes.

Give us a call and see if you qualify? Charles: 281-235-4615

In case you noticed the ad for hog traps in this issue and wondered: Feral hogs have been branded an “ecological train wreck”, threatening wildlife and plant habitats across the US while causing millions of dollars worth of damage to farmland and property. America’s population of wild pigs is so out of control that states are adopting increasingly radical steps to rein in their growth. A recent show on the Discovery Channel about the problem was called “The Pig Bomb.” Federal strike teams armed with machine guns stage aerial assaults while landowners in badly affected areas turn to a growing band of private trappers and hunters. According to government estimates, there are now more than 4 million wild pigs in over 40 states across the US. Worst affected is Texas, which has over 2 million followed by California, Florida and Hawaii. The hogs, as they are known, breed rapidly, having up to three litters a year each with nine to 10 young. Fully grown they are huge - over 300 pounds and insatiable, rapidly devouring acres of crops such as corn, wheat and sweet potatoes. One killed in Georgia and pictured above was nicknamed “Hogzilla” and weighed about 800 pounds. They compete with wildlife for food, destroy enclosures around livestock, eat animal feed, even prey on their young. And they are smart, swiftly catching on to any attempt to trap them and able to rapidly identify food sources in a multitude of ecosystems. Government officials estimate the hogs cause as much as 4 billion dollars worth of damage each year with nearly half occurring in Texas. As well as rooting up golf courses and front gardens the hogs threaten endangered species such as sea turtles in coastal areas, rare plant life inland and cause serious erosion to steam and river banks. Most metropolitan areas have them. Some smaller cities even have feral hogs running around downtown. Basically, they have taken over the state. A lack of natural predators means the survival rate of a litter of feral pigs is about 100 per cent. There’s a saying that if you don’t have them now, just wait, you’re going to, because that’s how it’s going. On the beaches, they are eating the eggs of endangered sea turtles. In

far western Texas they are rooting up plants that may not be replaced in our lifetime. “There isn’t any part of the ecosystem they don’t impact from watersheds, soils, native wildlife and domestic livestock to ground nesting birds. Just about everything that can be impacted by feral hogs is impacted.” Experts say if the pig population is not contained, the destruction to crops, wildlife and property could reach catastrophic proportions. There is also concern about their ability to spread disease to not only livestock and pets but humans. Feral pigs were recently linked to an outbreak of E coli in Californian spinach that made hundreds sick and killed three. In Texas, traps, baiting and hunting with guns and sometimes dogs are the main methods used to control the pigs. Many trappers earn thousands of dollars catching and selling the animals on to meat buyers who supply upmarket restaurants with wild boar. Private operators rent out their services to landowners, donning camouflage, night vision goggles and an assault rifle to target the hogs. To aficionados, hunting feral pig is about as enjoyable and challenging as a blood sport can be, given the size and wily nature of their prey. But the popularity of the sport is one of the reasons behind the population explosion, with hunters transporting the animals from one area to another and releasing them. The first pigs were brought from Europe to the US in 1539 by the Spanish conquistador Hernando de Soto. In the late 19th century, wild pigs from Germany were released on a New Hampshire hunting range. From 1910 to the 1930s, Russian wild boars were released in North Carolina, California and Texas. They often bred with domesticated pigs and the population soared. It is reported that domestic hogs become feral in only a few weeks in the wild. Officials in Missouri and Kansas, where all unauthorised movement of swine is banned, still believe they can eradicate wild pigs. But in Texas, it may be too late. Editors Note: I hope this doesn’t mean we’re all going to be devoured by wild hogs.

March 2010 Where Did It Go 11

AFT-TER THOUGHTS

by Capt. B.G. Willie

www.judgesbarandgrill.com

Though I’ve fished in Ireland many times, I’ve only hunted there once. Perhaps it’s because our hunting is so good in Texas . Texas fishing is good too, but wading the streams and fly fishing for salmon in the Emerald Isle is a beautiful, almost ethereal experience. Part reason also is that I’ve never had a good opportunity to go hunting there. I met up with some lads at a pub one night and after many a pint and a long discussion they invited me to join them the next day on a hunt. I assumed they had a place to hunt before we left but it seems we had to find a place. Apparently most of the farmers are pretty good people and if you respect their property they’ll let you hunt. My new friends were on holiday and had been looking for a place for a couple days. That next morning we all pulled into a farmer’s yard in County Waterford, Ireland. The driver, Brannagh, went up to the

farmhouse to ask permission to hunt on the farmer’s land. The old farmer said, ‘Sure you can hunt, but would you be doing me a favour? That old donkey standing over there is 20 years old and sick with cancer, but I don’t have the heart to kill her. Would you do it for me?’ Brannagh replied, ‘Of course I will,’ and strolled back to the car. While walking back, however, Brannagh decided to play a trick on his hunting friends and me. He got into the car and when they asked if the farmer had said if it was alright, he said, ‘No, we can’t hunt here, but I’m going to teach that old fellow a lesson he won’t forget.’ With that, the Irishman rolled down his window, stuck his gun out and shot the donkey. As he shouted, ‘To be sure, that will teach him,’ a second shot rang out from the passenger side and one of his hunting mates yelled, ‘And me, begorrah, I got the cow.’

Twelve Important Things My Motorcycle Has Taught Me:

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HOG PROBLEM? The feral hog population is exploding and doing serious property damage.

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TRAVEL ADVENTURES OF A LIFETIME Join us in 2010 on some of the most fantastic trips we’ve ever put together. These travel adventures are priced right and offer Texas First Bank members the experience of a lifetime! A few trips are listed below ----‘Trips are open to bank customers AND guests.’ Come join us for an awesome vacation!

• New York City • National Cherry Blossom Fest • Montana-Big Sky Adventure

• Shades of Ireland • Southern Charm Journey

1. The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rear view mirror. 2. Four wheels move the body; two wheels move the soul. 3. I’d rather be riding my motorcycle and thinking about God, than sitting in church thinking about my motorcycle. 4. Life may begin at 30, but it doesn’t get real interesting until about 75 mph. 5. Midnight bugs taste just 6. Sometimes it takes a

Contact: Linda Holm - Texas Travelers Coordinator Phone: 409-945-2515 Email: lholm101@yahoo.com www.texasfirstbank.com/texas-travelers.php

as bad as Noon time bugs. whole tank full of gas before you

can think straight. 7. A bike on the road is worth two in the shed. 8. Young riders pick a destination and go; old riders pick a direction and go. 9. When you’re riding lead, don’t spit. 10. Catching a yellow jacket in your shirt at 75 mph can double your vocabulary. 11. If you can’t get it going with bungee cords and duct tape, it’s serious. 12. Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. 13. (Bonus) I’ve never seen a Motorcycle parked in front of a psychiatrist’s office. Thanks to John Garnett

NOW OPEN

12 Where did it go March 2010

Gulf Coast Realtors

312 FM 517 W Dickinson, TX 77539 281-534-GULF (4853)

2000 Loop 197 Suite 111 Texas City, TX 77590 409-945-7653

www.gulfcoastrealtors.net Find out what properties in your area sold for: www.propertyvaluesinyourneighborhood.com

Mission Circle 4-2.5-2 Friendswood. No back neighbors. Looks out over a forest. Pretty view of trees in back! Game room, fireplace $193,900

Casa Rio Dickinson Large townhome style condo on Dickinson Bayou. pool,tennis court, greenspace & waterfront picnic area.

$106,000

Texas City (Swallows Meadow) 5-3 1/2-2 detached. Island kitchen, huge master down with enormous master bath with jacuzzi tub, separate shower, upstairs is a huge game/ media room. $264,500.

Dickinson – Bayou Lakes,5 Bdrm, 3 1/2 Bath, 2 Car Garage - Lennar Home Built in 2006. Huge Lot, Beautiful Home. $200,000

Galveston 3/2/1 Full Master Suite w/ 2 decks, study, fireplace, gourmet kitchen, SS appliances, granite countertops, custom cabinetry, porcelain tile. Large gameroom. $349,900

Kemah Oaks - 3/2/2 Formal dining, split flooor plan with master offering full shower and garden tub, fireplace ,, open kitchen with breakfast bar, $169,900.

Residential

Galveston - Pirate’s Cove - 3/2 1/2/2. Built in 2005 - covered decks for a spectular nature preserve view, granite countertop, So many Extras. Fabulous. Walk to the Water. (Windless) $262,900

Dove Meadow 3-2.5-2 salt water pool w/spa, workshop with 1/2 bath, deck with covered arbor,beautiful landscape. New porcelain tile floors, A/C, fireplace, fans, light fixtures, water heater & electric box. $165,000

League City 3/2/2 clean as a whistle an ready for new owner. Formal dining, nice breakfast area, lg family room, granite countertops, built ins. 2 Car garage, large lot, deck. (Yorktown) $99,900.

Dickinson - commercial or residential nice cleared 3.46 Ac tract locted in countyno city taxes-seller will look atall offers-lots of frontage on FM 1266 near Deats Rd. $249,000.

Waterfront home with access to Moses Lake, bay and Gulf. Large den with fireplace, formal living and dining that could be used as a game area, spacious kitchen overlooking the backyard. Bedrooms offer walk-in closets $159,900

Commercial

Dickinson – Like New. in Bayou Lakes 5 bdrm,2 1/2 Bath,2 car garage.Gameroom up. Granite countertops. Built in 2006. Nice large backyard for your enjoyment. $209,000

Investment

Over 100 years agent experience serving Galveston County