Vancouver School of Theology
Timely Consider the timing of your feedback carefully. In general, the feedback is most helpful when offered sooner rather than later. It is not helpful to make a quick critical comment immediately following an observed behaviour unless you are prepared to spend time with the person receiving your feedback. Example: "I'd like to offer some feedback on the process you used in Bible study tonight. Do you have time to sit down and talk about it or can we set up a time soon?" Under normal circumstances, it is better to offer constructive feedback during a regularly scheduled meeting with the Mentor or Ministry Reflection Group.
Clear Check to ensure that you are communicating clearly. One way of doing this is to have the receiver rephrase the feedback to see if it corresponds to what you intend to convey. Example: "Let me see if I understand what you are saying to me. Was it the specific word I used in a sermon that concerns you or the general message I was trying to convey?"
Accurate Check for accuracy. When feedback is offered in a group, both the giver and the receiver have an opportunity to check with others about the accuracy of the feedback. Is this person's impression shared by others? Example: "In this evaluation session, someone suggested that more printed resources would have been helpful. What do others think about this idea?"
Connected to the Learning Covenant As much as possible, limit feedback to the goals stated in the Learning Covenant. Example: "I've been thinking about your goal to develop your pastoral skills. When John told us about his daughter's illness, it really seemed to throw you. Could we set aside some time at our next meeting of the Ministry Reflection Group and role-play the various pastoral responses to crises?"
A Model for Non-violent Communication: Marshall Rosenberg offers an excellent model of communication for constructive feedback. It provides the kind of feedback discussed in previous pages of this Guide. Rosenberg's model empowers people to exchange resources and resolve differences in non-aggressive ways. He advises us to speak honestly and responsibly about our own perceptions, feelings, values and desires, as well as listen to the perceptions, feelings, values and desires of others. Rosenberg's model focuses on four essential pieces of information: “When you said (or did) __________, I felt __________.” “And because I value __________, I would like __________.”
Marshall Rosenberg is Director of the Center for Nonviolent Communication, P.O. Box 2662, Sherman, Texas.
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