The Village Family Magazine - December / January 2015 by The Village Family Service Center

Fargo-Moorheadâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Biggest Family Events Calendar

December/January 2015

The Gift of Presence Firearms Safety in the Home

Holiday Baby Survival Guide Family Photo Tips from Local Photographers

Take TakeYour Your Legacy Legacy to to New New Heights Heights

We Wecan canhelp helpchart chart your yourjourney. journey. ToTo find outout ways you can complete find ways you can complete your year-end gift, contact Janet Zinke your year-end gift, contact Janet Zinke at 701-451-5036 or or visit usus online atat at 701-451-5036 visit online www.TheVillageFamily.org and click www.TheVillageFamily.org and click on on Charitable Giving. Charitable Giving.

Take control how you are rememberedand andstart startbuilding buildingyour yourlegacy legacytoday todaywith with aa planned planned gift to Take control of of how you are remembered benefit Village Family Service Center. With your help, continuetotooffer offervital vitalservices servicesand andresources resourcestotofamilies families and and individuals individuals in benefit The The Village Family Service Center. With your help, wewe cancan continue our community for years to come. You’ve worked hard build a life you canbebeproud proudof;of;make makesure surethat’s that’show howothers otherswill will remember remember you. our community for years to come. You’ve worked hard to to build a life you can

Thaslim Kassim, MD Cardiology Essentia Health Heart & Vascular Center - Fargo Dr. Thaslim Kassim, a cardiologist, has joined the Essentia Health Heart and Vascular Center in Fargo, ND. He will care for patients in the clinic and the hospital. Dr. Kassim has a special interest in cardiac imaging. “Cardiology is a rapidly changing medical specialty,” says Dr. Kassim. “There are so many ways we can help patients and it is always expanding, which is very rewarding.” Dr. Kassim earned a medical degree from T.D. Medical College in Alappuzha, India. He completed a residency in internal medicine and a fellowship in general cardiology at Howard University Hospital in Washington, D.C. He is certified by the American Board of Medical Specialties in internal medicine. “I am very open with my patients. I try to explain things and make them easy to understand,” says Dr. Kassim. To schedule an appointment with Dr. Kassim, call the Heart and Vascular Center at 701.364.8900. To see his profile, go to EssentiaHealth.org and click on “Find a Medical Professional.”

“I want to be an advocate for my patients – someone with whom they can always share their feelings and concerns.” – Dr. Kassim

YOUR FAMILY z from the editor December/January 2015 Vol. 18, No. 6 Publisher The Village Family Service Center Gary Wolsky Tammy Noteboom Editor-in-Chief Kelly Lynch Graphic Design & Layout Jared Zimney Advertising Sales Manager Joy Ryan Calendar Editor Shayna Hendricksen Copy Editor Shayna Hendricksen The Village Family Service Center Board of Directors Carrie Bjorge, David Dougherty, Richard Duysen, Judy Green, Matthew Hallaway, Dr. Richard Hanson, Tammy Hauck, Richard Henderson, Dr. Karen Mellum, Nancy McKenzie, Tom Nelson, Dr. Joy Query, Becky Walen

For advertising, call 701-451-5000 For editorial comments or questions, please call 701-451-4937 or email magazine@ TheVillageFamily.org

I have been an aunt since I was 12 years old, so I grew up receiving parenting advice from my older brothers and sisters. I remember my brother telling me that he and his wife didn’t want their boys playing with toy guns. They refused to buy them, certain their decision would put an end to any desire by the boys to play with guns. About 20 years later, when my own sons were little and the topic of kids playing with toy guns came up, my brother told me the “rest of the story.” He laughed when he told how his boys fashioned toy guns out of cardboard, twigs, and anything else they could get their hands on that might resemble a gun in order to play cops and robbers or whatever games kids play. Despite their efforts, the boys found a way to play with toy guns. Kids see guns on TV, in books, in movies, and maybe even in their own homes, a friend’s home, or a relative’s home. It is our responsibility to teach them about guns to help keep them safe. In our feature article, writer Patricia Carlson interviewed local firearms experts and parents to provide you with some ideas for teaching your children about firearms safety. Firearms are a controversial subject and I certainly believe everyone has a right to his or her opinion about them. However, the reality is, families in our community have guns in their homes and helping kids learn to be careful around guns is imperative. You teach your child to look both ways when he crosses the street to protect him from getting hit by a car. You teach your child not to put his hands on the cooktop to avoid getting burned. You teach your child not to stick anything into the power outlets around your home to avoid electrocution. Without this knowledge, your children could be harmed or killed. It is the same with firearms. “Firearms Safety At Home: Keeping You and Your Loved Ones Safe,” has information on how to handle firearms and how to store them; how to talk to your kids about guns and how to talk to other parents about guns, too. It’s an informative article and well worth your time. Thanks for reading.

For subscription information, please call 701-451-4936 Printed by Forum Communications Printing, Fargo, N.D. ©2015 The Village Family Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. The Village Family Magazine is a registered trademark. The Village Family Magazine does not necessarily endorse content of advertising. The mission of The Village Family Magazine is to broaden the ability of The Village Family Service Center to improve the quality of people’s lives. In each issue, articles and features will educate and encourage families to develop and maintain positive, constructive relationships.

About the Cover Photo Lydia (Age 9 months) Photography by The Photo Dad (See ad pg. 24)

Mail correspondence to: The Village Family Service Center ATTN: Family Magazine 1201 25th St. S., Fargo, ND 58103

December/January 2015

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departments z parenting

6 Holiday Baby Survival Guide: Enjoying the Season with Your Newborn Rather than letting their newborn multiply the stress of the holiday season, new parents are reminded to embrace the chaos. z online

14 Training Wheels for New Cell Phone Users

If you’ve got a brand new cell phone owner in your home, here are some smart rules that promote responsible phone use. z generations

16 Small Floor Plan, Big Adventure

Downsizing after years in the family residence isn’t easy. A local woman who’s made the transition shares her story. z consumer

20 Holiday Time, Family Time, Picture Time

Smartphone cameras abound, so we asked local photographers for some tips on how to capture unforgettable family moments. z spiritual

36 Give Yourself the Gift of Presence This Holiday Season

Don’t let the “joys” of the season overwhelm you. Learn ways to get the holidays to move at your pace. z feature

38 Firearms Safety At Home: Keeping You and Your Loved Ones Safe

Knowledge is power. If your children might be around firearms, teach them about proper handling and storage to keep everyone safe. in every issue

z gary’s opinion.......9 z books & movies...10 z mom’s view..........12 z dad’s view............13

z events calendar.....24 z food & fun.............45 z words & wisdom.. .46

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December/January 2015

YOUR FAMILY z parenting

By Malia Jacobson

My most memorable holiday seasons didn’t involve expensive presents, exquisite decorations, or extravagant meals. I didn’t attend swanky cocktail parties or impress my friends with stylish gifts. I survived on reheated lasagna and takeout, accessorized with burp rags, and spent my time gazing at tiny fingers and toes. I was the mom of a newborn. Having a baby over the holidays transforms the season from merely festive to utterly unforgettable. Sure, it can be exhausting and overwhelming. But it comes with built-in advantages. Friends and family are likely to have vacation time to spend with you. Winter clothes make comfy and flattering postpartum wear. And future holiday celebrations will always be laced with memories of baby’s miraculous first weeks. For parents expecting a bundle of holiday joy, here’s how to make the most of this special season. 6

December/January 2015

Get Busy While You Can

Holiday tasks can help pass the long, late-pregnancy days while you wait for baby’s arrival. Before my first daughter’s birth in early December, I was a model of holiday readiness. The house was sparkly clean, the gifts wrapped, and the cards mailed. I was finishing my third batch of Christmas cookies when I went into labor. Three years later, I welcomed our second holiday baby under decidedly different circumstances. The decorations were still in the basement, and there wasn’t a wrapped gift or Christmas cookie in sight. Yet my memories of that holiday season are every bit as great as the first. So tackle your to-do list if you can, but don’t worry if you don’t get everything done. Your newborn won’t mind. And looking back, neither will you.

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family

Baby, it’s Cold Outside

According to Dr. Dennis Cunningham, an infectious disease specialist at Nationwide Children’s Hospital, parents of babies born near the holidays should take extra precautions to keep their infants healthy. Babies born during the winter months are more likely to catch a viral illness such as influenza and respiratory syncytial virus (RSV), so insist on healthy habits. Parents, siblings, and guests should wash hands with soap and water before touching the baby. Everyone in the family should consider getting a flu shot and a Pertussis (whooping cough) booster. Skip big parties and germy public spaces during the early weeks. When you can’t stay home, arm yourself with alcohol-based hand sanitizer, and limit the number of people touching and holding the baby.

Plan and stick to a holiday budget to keep spending in check.

Take a Pass on Perfection

A baby changes everything, so don’t be surprised if your holiday priorities end up shifting. Easing up on the urge toward perfectionism can help you relax and enjoy the season. Julie Gates remembers her first holiday season with December baby Sophia. “Forget about Christmas cards and gifts—everything was so out of whack and overwhelming with a new baby in the house. So I just took a pass on that year and didn’t send anything to anyone. The great thing is no one minded one bit!”

Spend Wisely

Pediatrician visits and hospital fees can pile up, adding financial strain to an already stressful season. Plan and stick to a holiday budget to keep spending in check. This is good practice for future years, when you’ll be juggling birthday expenses and holiday costs at the same time.

Ask, and You Shall Receive

Honesty is a new parent’s best policy, especially near the holidays. When friends and family ask if you need anything, speak up and tell them what you could really use, whether it’s dinner, help around the house, or an hour of babysitting so you can grab a nap and a shower. If they’re set on buying you something, request gift cards to put toward baby essentials.

Celebrate Your Way

Between new-baby gifts and holiday presents, packages will threaten to take over your already-crowded living space. Stash a pad and pen nearby to jot down who gives what, to make it easier to write thank-you notes later on. Keep gift receipts handy, but save any returning or exchanging until after the holidays, when you can take inventory of gifts and get it all done at once.

Treat Yourself

Caring for a newborn may leave you too drained to carry out your favorite holiday rituals, whether they involve decorating gingerbread houses, volunteering, or making the perfect potato pancakes. It’s normal to feel disappointed, but skipping a cherished tradition for a year doesn’t mean abandoning it forever. When you’re in new-baby mode, holiday celebrations should be simple and flexible. After our second daughter’s birth, many of our regular holiday traditions went out the window. So one late-December night, I filled thermoses with steaming hot chocolate while my husband loaded the kids in the car for an impromptu tour of our neighborhood’s holiday lights. Both kids dozed off and we enjoyed some much-needed adult conversation. It’s one of our favorite memories of that extremely busy season. family

Manage Gift Chaos

One of the best parts about having a holiday baby? You’re free to enjoy the tastes of the season without pregnancy-induced heartburn or a full-grown baby crowding your stomach. “Eat whatever you want and enjoy it,” advises Kimberly Wyckoff, whose daughter Abigail celebrates a November birthday. “You have months before you have to get into a swimsuit.” No matter how carefully you prepare, your holiday baby will probably throw you a few curveballs. In my experience, it’s a near certainty they’ll scream during a long-awaited holiday party, spit up on Grandma, and have a blowout in a carefullyselected holiday outfit. So stock up on baby wipes, keep your camera nearby, and get ready for your most exhausting, amazing, unforgettable holiday season yet. Malia Jacobson is a freelance writer and the mom of two “holiday babies.”

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December/January 2015

YOUR FAMILY z gary’s opinion

Make an Investment in North Dakota Families By Gary Wolsky, President/CEO The Village Family Service Center First let me state that I am a longstanding conservative who Wolsky happens to work in a very liberal profession. I have been criticized loudly from both staff and community members periodically for my views and positions stated in this editorial space. I’m fine with that—after all, this is an editorial. Having been in this profession, for the most part, since finishing grad school in ’73, I am convinced there is nothing incompatible with a conservative world view and the provision of exceptional services to kids and families. Liberals don’t own this profession and they shouldn’t. But today I want to visit with my conservative brethren in North Dakota politics and express my disappointment—at times they seem to be oblivious to “listening” when it comes to addressing prevention-related approaches that would better deal with the needs of our kids and families. There are many wonderful Republicans who provide a balance to what I perceive as the shortsightedness and unwillingness to invest creatively in the prevention of problems. Senators Judy Lee and Dick Dever, to name only a couple, understand that well-thoughtout services to kids and families can also be good business and are not alien to conservative values. They, along with others, have led legislative initiatives to study some of the best preventative work going on in the nation. The return on investment (ROI)—when these things are done well—is astounding. Kids win, families win, and taxpayers win. I read recently that we’re willing to “invest” $85 million in nature conservancy-type issues—clean air, water, etc. Well, pardon me if I don’t dance on the table. Few would doubt the need to responsibly address these issues. Other than a few years of being in the Army, I’ve been a family

lifelong resident of North Dakota and I might suggest that our state’s record in addressing environmental issues has been exceptional—not perfect—and, of course, it is more complex with Bakken-related issues, but I would still say exceptional. But seriously, does anyone out there understand what ONE of those $85 million would do if invested in treating high risk families? This “investment” would keep our kids—your kids, your neighbor’s kids—out of prison, drug and alcohol rehab, etc., and increase the probability of their growing up to be responsible citizens. The Village has been doing this very work, and doing it successfully, for decades. Furthermore, this is done with an 80 percent success rate that I’d be happy to match in terms of ROI with other “investments” anytime, anyplace. Let me suggest a storyline for you. One million dollars in our Foundation, with a return of 6 percent, yields $60,000 annually. It costs The Village just under $5,000 to treat an entire family—a high-risk family in which kids are quite likely to be placed outside the home. That $60,000 represents 12 families per year—EVERY YEAR. At an 80 percent success rate, that is 9.6 (call it 10) families with kids who DON’T go into an out-of-home placement, who DON’T go into foster care, who DON’T go into group homes, and who DON’T go into residential treatment. The cost to taxpayers for an out-of-home placement is considerably higher than the $5,000 it costs us to treat a family. The math is clear and prevention represents a far better investment. As I said, the kids win, the families win, and you and I as taxpayers win. I understand that our profession has been part of this problem and must take some responsibility for this dilemma. For too long we have been showing up, requesting money, and making promises. Then, when asked about outcomes, some are caught mumbling something about “the dog having eaten our homework” by way of excuse. villagefamilymag.org

I know and understand this has not worked in our favor historically. That has to change—and it is changing. Our data collection and analysis at The Village, as well as our robust outcome reviews, will compete with any in the nation. When I say that our success rate—ROI—reflects an 80 percent success rate since 1987, I can back it up. I know many of these folks in our state government, and I know them to be very good people. I don’t believe they are totally deaf to these issues, but in a sense this baffles me even more— why can’t we make more progress in funding programs that not only work, but have a strong ROI? Given the financial strength of North Dakota, and the fact that our human service delivery system—both public and private—can deliver with proven, successful approaches, I challenge our elected decision makers to look at these issues differently than they have in the past. Kids and families across the state need to be heard and taken seriously. They need equal footing with sewer lines, clean water, good roads, and the rest of it. To do this will take some leadership and I challenge both Republicans and Democrats alike, given the financial capacity we have, to take this moment to address some of these issues. I promise the return on this investment will be substantial. The opinions expressed in this column are strictly those of The Village Family Service Center CEO. They do not necessarily reflect the views of the organization, staff, or boards of directors.

December/January 2015

Staff Pick: Kelly

YOUR FAMILY z m vies

New On

DVD

“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”

PG-13 On DVD October 14 A group of four mutant turtles—sewer-dwelling, pizzaloving reptiles all—team up with a TV reporter to stop a crime wave in New York City. The famous four are cleverly named after Renaissance painters: Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo, and Donatello. The group knows the only way to save New York is to work together. Using the art of ninjutsu, the turtles take on crime and help defeat the evil Foot Clan. Megan Fox is reporter April O’Neil. Other stars in this action adventure include Will Arnett, William Fichtner, Tony Shalhoub (as the voice of Splinter), and Whoopi Goldberg.

“Beauty and the Beast”

G Available on DVD This movie is pure Disney magic! You’ve got a handsome prince turned horrific beast by an evil curse, holed up in a dark and dreary castle, and a beautiful young woman— Belle—seeking adventure in her life. Belle’s father becomes a prisoner in the castle and she boldly exchanges her freedom for his. The Beast agrees. Belle meets the castle servants—a clock, a teapot, and a candlestick—once human but transformed in the same instance as the Beast. If the Beast can fall in love before his 21st birthday, the spell will be broken. The servants do their best to make that happen. Slowly, Belle learns to see the goodness in the Beast. It’s a terrific family night movie.

“The Muppet Christmas Carol” G On Netflix Instant Stream This is a delightful retelling of the classic Dickens tale of Ebenezer Scrooge, the most miserly man on Earth. Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, and the entire Muppet crew form the cast as Michael Caine’s Scrooge gets a visit from the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future. Common Sense Media calls it, “A gentle, fuzzy version of the Dickens classic.”

December/January 2015

“Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb”

Theaters

PG In Theaters December 19 Ben Stiller’s security guard character, Larry Daley, moves the action from New York’s American Museum of Natural History across the pond to the British Museum. The final installment in the Night at the Museum trilogy, “Secret of the Tomb” entertains, once again, with the excitement of watching characters from history in action. Daley is on a quest to save the magic that brings the museum to life before it is gone forever. The all-star cast also includes Robin Williams (in one of his final roles), Owen Wilson, Steve Coogan, Rebel Wilson, Dick Van Dyke, Dan Stevens, Ben Kingsley, and Mickey Rooney (in his final role).

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New to

family

Baby & Preschool “Mix It Up!” by Hervé Tullet Accept Hervé Tullet’s irresistible invitation to mix it up in a dazzling adventure of whimsy and wonder. Follow the artist’s simple instructions, and suddenly colors appear, mix, splatter, and vanish in a world powered only by the reader’s imagination. Tullet sets readers on an extraordinary interactive journey all within the printed page. Tullet prompts plenty of giggles in addition to a profound understanding of colors, and once again displays his unique genius and vision in a work that is a glorious and richly satisfying companion to “Press Here.”

Teenagers “Against the Tide (Spirit Animals: Book 5)” by Tui T. Sutherland The sun is shining in the Hundred Isles, and yet the path forward seems crowded with shadows. Conor, Abeke, Meilin, and Rollan have traveled across the world, seeking a set of powerful talismans. Throughout their journey, the young heroes have been hounded by pursuers who seem to know just where to find them. Now they know why: One of them is a traitor. As they travel the blue waters of this tropical paradise, the team can’t help but suspect each other. There’s a spy in their midst, and before this mission is over, a deadly trap will close around them.

Ages 9 to 12 “Endgame: The Calling” by James Frey and Nils Johnson-Shelton Twelve thousand years ago, they descended from the sky amid smoke and fire, created humanity, and gave us rules to live by. When they had all the gold they needed, they left. They told us someday they would come back, and when they did, a game to determine our future would be played— Endgame. When the game starts, players have to find three keys. “Endgame: The Calling” is about the hunt for the first key. Written into the book is a puzzle. Readers can play their own Endgame and try to solve the puzzle.

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YOUR FAMILY z

Book Reviews Courtesy Barnes & Noble, Fargo

Ages 4 to 8 “The Book With No Pictures” by B.J. Novak This innovative and wildly funny readaloud by award-winning humorist/actor B.J. Novak will turn any reader into a comedian. You might think a book with no pictures seems boring and serious. Except…here’s how books work. Everything written on the page has to be said by the person reading it aloud. Even if the words say… BLORK. Or BLUURF. Even if the words are a preposterous song about eating ants for breakfast, or just a list of astonishingly goofy sounds like BLAGGITY BLAGGITY and GLIBBITY GLOBBITY.

Adults “Winter Street” by Elin Hilderbrand In Hilderbrand’s first Christmas novel, a family gathers on Nantucket for a holiday filled with surprises. Kelley Quinn is the owner of Nantucket’s Winter Street Inn and the proud father of four grown children, all of them living in varying states of disarray. For Christmas, Kelley is looking forward to getting the family together for some quality time at the inn. But when he walks in on wife Mitzi kissing Santa Claus (or the guy who’s playing Santa at the inn’s annual party), utter chaos descends. Readers will enjoy this heart-warming novel about coming home for the holidays.

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December/January 2015

YOUR FAMILY z mom’s view

Letter to My Younger Self By Gwen Rockwood A wonderful thing is happening at our house. The kids are becoming…capable. That sounds weird, I know. It’s not like they were helpless blobs all this time, but lately I’ve noticed they can really do things—helpful things, necessary things— things my husband and I have been doing for them for more than a decade now. Today I was busy cleaning up the kitchen and making a mental checklist of the tasks I’d need to get done before morning. I caught 12-year-old Adam as he was on his way up the stairs to play video games and said, “Before you play, I need you to make three sandwiches to go in tomorrow’s lunchboxes, okay?” “Okay,” he said. Then he pulled out the sandwich-making supplies and I heard him call out to his little sister, “Kate, do you want cheese on your sandwich?” She answered and he continued his work. Moments later, I opened the fridge and found three bologna sandwiches sealed up in sandwich bags, ready to put into lunch bags the next morning. Here’s the surprising part. He didn’t need my help. He didn’t complain. He didn’t act like I was asking him to perform brain surgery on the cat. The sandwiches looked just the way they’d look if I’d done it myself, and he put the bread, mustard, and sandwich meat away when he was done. It’s odd to be surprised by evidence that your kids are growing up because that’s what they’re supposed to do. That was the plan all along. But it feels like a minor miracle when you notice it’s really happening. We spent so much time doing things for them when they were little that it became our new normal—tie the shoes, wash the clothes, make the meals, cut their meat. We’ve taught them things along the way, but there was a small part of us that assumed they’d always need us to help them navigate daily life. Then today, either through instruction or observation or just household osmosis, the kid suddenly makes the sandwiches and cleans up the mess. No biggie. And it’s so…rewarding. If I could, I’d send an email back in time to my younger self—the frazzled young mom who spent much of the day chasing a 5-, 3-, and 1-year-old around the house, changing diapers and wiping noses. Here’s what I’d tell her: Dear Younger Me, You know this parenting thing that keeps you sprinting around 12 hours a day? It gets easier. One day they’re not only going to be able to find their own shoes but also put them on and tie the laces. They won’t need you in the bathroom anymore. They’ll stop watching Barney the Dinosaur and occasionally even watch the news and ask questions about the world. They’ll start to crack jokes—funny ones—not just that tired knock-knock joke about the banana and the orange. Then one day, seemingly overnight, you’ll ask your oldest to make the sandwiches and he’ll just do it. Your middle child 12

December/January 2015

Illustration by Trygve Olson

who refuses to change out of his Superman t-shirt for days on end? He’s going to be able to start and finish a load of clothes, so you’ll have help staying on top of that mountain of dirty laundry. And that sweet baby on your hip? She’s going to be 7 one day, and when you accidentally cut your finger in the kitchen, she’ll get the first aid kit and put the Band-Aid on for you. (Start putting some money aside for medical school. This kid has potential.) So hang in there, mama. You’re doing good and important work. All this time spent in the not-so-glamorous parenting trenches is going to pay off. They get bigger and smarter and even more interesting. One day you’re going to look at them and realize that, not only do you love them intensely, you also respect and admire the people they’re turning out to be— capable people who can do things, partly because you loved and helped them through all the years when they couldn’t. Gwen Rockwood is a syndicated freelance columnist. Her book, “Reporting Live from the Laundry Pile,” is available on Amazon and at Nightbird Books. Email her at rockwoodfiles@ cox.net or write to her in care of this magazine.

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YOUR FAMILY z dad’s view

The Wow Factor By J. Shane Mercer

Human beings have a remarkable capacity to grow unappreciative, to take the incredible and make it mundane. Comedian Louis C.K. was on the late-night TV show, “Conan,” a few years back ranting about the whininess of the current generation, even as we live in an age of remarkable technological advancement. He mimicked people complaining of their experiences flying on an airline: “First of all, we didn’t board for 20 minutes. And then we get on the plane, and they made us sit there on the runway for 40 minutes.” “Oh, really, what happened next?” C.K. rhetorically asks his imaginary conversation mate. “Did you fly through the air incredibly like a bird? Did you partake in the miracle of human flight, you non-contributing zero?…You’re flying! It’s amazing! Everybody on every plane should just constantly be going… Wow!” “You’re sitting in a chair,” C.K. says, pausing and pointing upward, “IN THE SKY!” Much of the same sentiment could be expressed of fatherhood, and parenthood in general. Let’s start with the fact that my wife and I made a human being—three, in fact. Let that sink in. We created (so to speak) three human beings who can walk, think, and ask questions related to the meaning of life and, someday, create more human beings. Think about the stereotypical 1930s horror film. What did you find them doing? Making a living being. (“It’s alive!”) We humans do that already, and people talk about it over breakfast like it’s nothing. “Sandy said Steve and Janet had their baby.” “Oh, that’s great. Glad everything went well. Pass the butter, please.” What do you mean, “Pass the butter?” Like the passengers on C.K.’s hypothetical plane, we should all be amazed. We should be jumping up and down and screaming, “What? It happened again?! We made another human life with moral volition and everything—the most valuable physical object in existence? That’s fantastic!!!” And then someone would be like, “Wow! But I guess they’re probably just like lots of other humans that have been made, right?” “No, they’re one of a kind! They don’t look or act exactly like any other human I’ve ever seen. I mean, they have, like, two legs and 10 fingers and a face and all, but they’re different from every single other human being in all of history, ever!” “You’re kidding!” “I am not!!!” In his classic work, “Orthodoxy,” English writer, poet, critic, philosopher, etc., G.K. Chesterton wrote that fairy tales “say that apples were golden only to refresh the forgotten moment when we found that they were green. They make rivers run with wine only to make us remember, for one wild moment, that they run with water.” This reality—this human experience—is truly awesome, but we miss it. We’re around amazing stuff so often we don’t realize it’s there. It’s like water to a fish. It’s like oxygen to us. It’s everywhere, but we don’t think about it. family

Illustration by Trygve Olson

But just because something is common doesn’t mean it isn’t fantastic. And if I step away from that stack of bills I’m trying to pay, put down that broccoli-encrusted plate (which some child was supposed to have put in the sink already), and just think, the truth is startling. I have been given three packages of this uber-valuable commodity we know as human life. And I have the privilege of helping shape those lives into what they will be. What’s more, I get to experience that deep human emotion of love with them for as long as life lasts. These are astounding realities. And yet, somehow, I find myself frequently grousing about the fact there’s Kool-Aid on the couch, or another rip in a pair of “good” pants (you know, as opposed to “play” pants), or peanut butter on the dog’s head, or whatever. But why am I focused on that? That’s the boring stuff! The exciting stuff is that it’s even possible we have these little humans who can do stuff like digest Kool-Aid (if they can just get it inside them), run at full speed and slide into second base in whatever pants they happen to be wearing, and find utter delight in the fact the dog continues straining with all his might to reach his tongue to the top of his head to get the peanut butter. I’ve got a feeling that when/if I complain to the maker of this universe about the daily frustrations of being a father, he’d smile and say, “And after you cleaned up all those messes and paid the bills, what happened? Did you get the privilege of being a dad to three awesome little humans?” J. Shane Mercer is the digital marketing specialist at The Village Family Service Center. He and his wife, Amy, live in Fargo with their three children, Ariana (10), Talia (10), and Will (6).

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December/January 2015

YOUR FAMILY z online

By Carolyn Jabs If your child is one of the lucky kids getting a new cell phone during the holidays, now is the time to think about the rules that should go along with it. Kids need to understand from the get-go that having a phone is a privilege and, like all privileges, comes with responsibilities. Family contracts that outline those responsibilities are available from several reliable sources including Connect Safely (www.connectsafely.org/family-contract-smartphoneuse/) and Sprint (www.sprint.com/4netsafety/phoneContractfeature.html). Even if you don’t feel the need to sign a formal contract with your child, these documents cover important talking points. Being clear about expectations is step one, but many children also benefit from a little extra structure. Fortunately, parents have access to a wide range of technical tools that will help children remember and respect their rules. The checklist that follows provides an overview of protections available for cell phones. It’s unlikely most parents will want or need all of these tools. The features that make sense for your family depend partly on your parenting style and partly on your child’s temperament. 14

December/January 2015

In addition to age and maturity, you’ll want to think about the following questions: Is your child able to keep track of belongings? Does he or she generally follow household rules? How easily is your child distracted? How susceptible are they to pressure from peers or strangers? Most important, how will this tool help you reach your ultimate goal—having a child who makes good, independent decisions about how and when to use a cell phone? Once you’ve decided which protections you want, find out whether they are available from your phone carrier. All major companies offer some of these services free and others for a monthly fee. To figure out what’s available on your plan, search for parental controls on their website. Better yet, visit one of their outlets and have someone describe and demonstrate the relevant features so you’ll actually be able to use them. Curb phone calls. For very young children, it’s often a good idea to establish an approved list of phone numbers so your child can make and receive calls only from those people. For older kids, you may still want software that shows traffic on the phone. Remember, specific numbers can always be blocked if your child is being harassed or unduly influenced by peers or strangers.

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Control texts. Depending on your family’s plan and your doubts about your child’s judgment, look for software that will child’s self-control, you may want controls that limit the number alert you when your child tries to download a ringtone, game, or of texts your child can send and/or receive. Some controls also social media app. allow parents to monitor texts for content that seems risky. Disable while driving. If your child is old enough to drive, There’s even an app, Ignore No More, consider using a feature that disables the Most families find they can that lets you lock the phone if you phone whenever it’s moving at the speed don’t get a prompt response to your a car. protect their children adequately of Most text messages! families find they can protect their with services provided by cell children adequately with services provided Monitor websites. A smartphone allows a child unrestricted access to by cell phone companies, supplemented phone companies. the Internet, so you may want filters perhaps by free apps like MamaBear. If that block access to pornography, gambling, hate speech, and you decide to invest in more comprehensive software, detailed other content. reviews of 10 options are available at www.cell-phone-parentalSupervise social media. A cell phone makes it all too easy control-software-review.toptenreviews.com. to share impulsive messages, photos, and videos. Parents can Some of these programs brag about how they can be used in arrange to be notified whenever a child posts or is tagged on “stealth” mode so kids will never even know their parents are social media. Or you can set up controls that alert you only if watching them. In many ways, that kind of spyware subverts the your child uses unacceptable language, is involved in bullying, goals of good parenting. If you do find something worrisome, or exchanges inappropriate photos. you won’t be able to discuss it without admitting that you’ve had Manage time. If the phone seems to be taking over a child’s your child’s phone under surveillance. It is better to talk openly life, most carriers offer a timer that will allow you to establish about what safeguards you plan to use and why you think they intervals when the phone simply doesn’t work because your are important. Being upfront about your concerns actually makes child should be sleeping or paying attention in class. it more likely your kids will become such savvy, skilled, and Track location. If your child struggles to keep track of responsible cell phone users they won’t need “training wheels” personal items, you may want an app that will locate the phone anymore. if it’s lost. Some parents also use GPS to confirm kids are where Carolyn Jabs, M.A., raised three computer-savvy kids including they are supposed to be—home after school, on the soccer field, one with special needs. She has been writing Growing Up Online at a sleepover. for 10 years and is working on a book about constructive responses Limit downloads. Kids with smartphones will want to explore to conflict. For other Growing Up Online columns, visit the wonderful world of apps. Some apps simply aren’t suitable www.growing-up-online.com for children. Some cost money that will show up on your phone © Copyright, 2014, Carolyn Jabs. All rights reserved. bill. Some introduce malware onto the phone. If you have any

The Village Counselors are here to help. In many cases, The Village’s in-office counseling (for individuals, couples, parents, and children) is covered by your health insurance. Online counseling is also available.

1201 25th St. S., Fargo • 701-451-4900 1401 8th St. S., Moorhead • 701-451-4811 www.TheVillageFamily.org family

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December/January 2015

YOUR FAMILY z generations

By Megan Bartholomay

December/January 2015

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family

Downsizing wasn’t exactly a choice

for Mary Middleton. When the 67-yearold retired from her job as a registered nurse in October of 2013, she quickly realized she wasn’t comfortable paying the mortgage on her three-bedroom, two-bathroom, split-level home with a double garage. Middleton says, “I felt that I could no longer afford to stay in my own home and that I’d have to look for something smaller.” At the time, she was living in Breezy Point, Minn., about 20 miles north of Brainerd. As she looked for something less expensive in her immediate area, it became apparent she would have to think smaller. And even after she admitted she’d have to downsize, the places were cramped, too expensive, or wouldn’t accommodate her beloved springer spaniel, Sadie. After several months of coming up empty-handed, Middleton started to wonder what her options would be. Local realtor Holly Smith of Remax Realty knows all about the realities of downsizing and the hard choices that have to be made. In her experience working in the F-M area, Smith comes across all sorts of situations and has to be a resource for what’s best for her clients. Smith says, “Each person or family tends to make the decision to downsize when they are facing a lifestyle change, whether it be for good reasons or unfortunate circumstances. Most of the time, people are looking to simplify their home life by eliminating the amount of house and yard work that come with single-family home ownership.” And for Middleton, it was not an ideal circumstance. Middleton’s daughter, Ashley Peterson, who had been living in Fargo for many years, suggested she think about making the move to the F-M area and offered to do some legwork in finding a place. “Ashley and her husband, Chad, were very supportive of me moving to Fargo, but I knew it would be a big adjustment,” says Middleton. It was one thing to leave her home in favor of a smaller space and a lower monthly payment, but it was with mixed feelings she considered the move west. family

“I had to weigh the options,” Middleton recalls. “I’ve always been independent and able to stand on my own, but part of me never really got over my kids moving away.” The thought of being only a few blocks away from her daughter and 5-year-old granddaughter seemed like a fair tradeoff. Middleton only had a few requirements: She needed a guest room to accommodate her visiting friends and family (her other daughter lives in Colorado with her husband and son); she wanted everything on one level; it had to allow for Sadie, including a fenced yard; and she wanted a small area where she could plant flowers. “I have to have my flowers,” says Middleton, who is an avid gardener. After searching tirelessly, Peterson found her mother a two-bedroom, one-bathroom duplex with a fenced yard. She and her husband made some minor renovations to make it as homey and comfortable as possible for Middleton. “Ashley worked so hard on the place. It’s absolutely perfect. I moved in sight unseen and she made it into such a wonderful home for me.” As for Sadie, Middleton says, “I have such great neighbors and their dog and Sadie get along so well. It couldn’t be better.” Although Middleton’s experience has gone fairly smoothly, the emotional transition was still tough. “It was bittersweet,” she says. “I knew I would be moving closer to Ashley and her family, but I was leaving behind so many friends, my home, memories.” The adjustment to living in Fargo was also something she didn’t expect. In Breezy Point, she’d been almost entirely out in the woods, so the sounds of the neighborhood, the streetlights, and the traffic made for some sleepless nights at first. “I’m used to it now, but it was different.” So, when is a good time to downsize? Here are four key questions to ask yourself before making what will likely be a huge life change. villagefamilymag.org

Mary Middleton and Sadie in their new home.

December/January 2015

What do you need and what can you get rid of?

There are things we can do without and things that are necessities. Go through your possessions carefully, and with each one, decide if it is something that can be sold and replaced at a cheaper cost and smaller size. Have a yard sale or give away the items you haven’t used in years. When it finally came time to pack up the house, Middleton said she had to make some hard choices about what to take with her. She says that ultimately she gave the majority of her things to friends who said they could use them. “It makes you feel really good to do that.” Both Smith and Middleton agree you have to have a sense of what you really need and what you’re willing to compromise on. Smith says, “There are a few questions to ask yourself when considering downsizing. Is it important for you to have

a yard? Maybe a home that is part of an association is a good fit, allowing you to dig in the dirt without having to cut the grass and handle snow removal. Another good question is how much space do you require? Is single level living a must, or is a split-level or two-story OK? There are different options to choose from in several different categories.” Middleton offers her advice to those looking to downsize as well. “You have to prioritize,” she says. “Figure out what you absolutely need and store, sell, or give away the rest.”

“Most of the time, people are looking to simplify their home life by eliminating the amount of house and yard work that come with single-family home ownership.”

Can I afford my current situation?

Sometimes people downsize involuntarily; they’ve lost their jobs, suffered an illness, or simply no longer have the financial resources they once did. If this is the case, you might consider preserving the income you do have in favor of finding a smaller space. Smith says, “The financial question certainly plays a role in what option works best for you. I recommend discussing your plans with a mortgage expert or your financial planner. This will be helpful to determine a comfortable price range so when

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A Program of The Village Family Service Center

3201 Fiechtner Drive • Fargo 701.293.3384 www.FirstStep-Recovery.com Blue Cross/Blue Shield Preferred Provider. We Also Accept Most Other Insurance Plans.

December/January 2015

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you do decide to start actively looking for the right property, you will be able to spend quality time to help make the best decision when you are ready.”

Does size matter to me?

Think about how much your own personality is wrapped up in your house. Smith says, “Sometimes condo living is desirable for those who travel a lot or like the idea of living in a multi-unit building. They are often maintenancefree, with great amenities like underground parking and rooftop community decks, just to name a few. The townhome lifestyle may be a rambler, two-story, or split-level option, which gives you the feeling of being part of Middleton’s Breezy Point home. a community like the multi-unit building, but giving you a private entrance and possibly a small yard. Others Middleton’s Fargo duplex. may like the idea of a twin home or just a smaller single-family home that still gives you the traditional property ownership.”

“I felt that I could no longer afford to stay in my own home and that I’d have to look for something smaller.” What are my total costs?

Carefully consider the entire cost of downsizing. This includes factoring in how much you will realistically sell your home for in today’s market, as well as the rental or purchase cost of that downsized dream. Also, be sure to identify the hidden costs, from condominium fees and furnishing your new home, to the potentially higher costs of living, depending on where you relocate. Smith also suggests, “Find a real estate professional to assist you in the process. It will be helpful for guidance pertaining to both the current market conditions for selling your current property as well as leading the search for your new home based family

on availability in different neighborhoods, styles, and price ranges throughout the community.” No matter your preference, there are a plethora of choices out there when it comes to downsizing. Call your realtor, financial advisor, or start a conversation with family and friends to consider all your options. A North Dakota native, Megan Bartholomay is a freelance writer and editor with an addiction to grammar, cats, wine, and good food. She lives in downtown Fargo with her husband, Mike, and their bevy of fuzzy babies.

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December/January 2015

YOUR FAMILY z consumer

Holiday Time = Family Time = Picture Time

We’ve all seen those family Christmas pictures where Uncle Fred stuck his finger in front of the lens or Aunt Sally lopped off three of your cousins’ heads. Just because you’re not a professional doesn’t mean you don’t care how your photographic family keepsakes look. Here are some tips from a few area photographers to help you do a more artistic job of preserving those memories than Uncle Fred and Aunt Sally did. (You do still have to keep your finger out of the frame, though.)

Lindsay Arbach

(photo by Autumn Wilson)

Lindsay Kaye Photography www.lindsay-kaye.com

For kids, get down to their level—literally. Don’t be afraid to change things up and change your perspective when photographing kids. Get down and crawl around to get your photos, and even lie on the ground if you need to, says Lindsay Arbach of Lindsay Kaye Photography (www.lindsay-kaye. com). 20

December/January 2015

Mitch Highman mJoy Photography www.mjoyphotography.com

Shane Mercer Pictures of Fargo www.picturesoffargo.com

Plan—Sometimes photos just happen and you click away. But sometimes you have time to think ahead. If that’s the case, Mitch Highman of mJoy Photography (www.mjoyphotography. com) suggests checking out the area where you’ll be taking pictures a day or so before. And check it out at the time of day when you’ll be doing the actual shoot because lighting changes over the course of the day. Think ahead about the shots you want to try to capture.

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Be flexible—Even when you can plan (see previous tip), stay flexible. You may not get the exact shot you want or planned, but with kids (and people in general), there’s always the chance you’ll get an expression, pose, or activity that’s more natural for them anyway, Highman says. Unpose the shot—Capture your children just doing what they do, Arbach says. Portraits can be great, but that’s not the only way to get a solid photo. Capture images of your kids playing outside, with their favorite toy, or whatever they like to do. Compose the situation—Think of the viewfinder of your camera (the part you look through) as a tic-tac-toe board, says Shane Mercer, who maintains the “Pictures of Fargo” website (www.picturesoffargo.com). Then place your subject (i.e. the thing/person you’re photographing) where the lines in the board intersect. Those imaginary lines can also help you in other ways. Google “Rule of Thirds” for more about this basic technique. Be aware of the lighting—Avoid full sunlight where eyes can get squinty and shadows are harsh, Arbach says. If possible, move into the shade of a building or awning. When photographing indoors, move near a window for some great light! Have people face into the shot—Generally, you don’t want the people in your photos staring off the edge, Mercer says. It just looks strange. And don’t forget to have fun. After all, a picture doesn’t have to be “great” to be a great keepsake. Thanks to J. Shane Mercer for compiling these tips. family

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December/January 2015

Kids in Crisis

4. ACCESS

IN THE LAST 12 MONTHS

25.4%

students felt so sad or

hopeless almost every day

The Statistics are Terrifying More than 10% of Fargo area students admit to having attempted suicide one or more times in the previous 12 months. 1 out of 4 students identify themselves as struggling with depression. The 2013 North Dakota Youth Risk Behavior Survey indicates that an alarming number of students in our community are struggling with depression and suicidal ideation. Clearly, it’s NOT just a few. These children are in crisis and without intervention many of them will struggle throughout their lives, or die as a result of mental illness. It could be your child. It could be your child’s friend or classmate.

“There isn’t a morning I don’t get up in awe of the responsibility we have as a community to help each student succeed. Unfortunately there is not a week that goes by that I do not have to sign paperwork for one or more students in crisis to be in treatment. Though they may receive some instruction while in treatment, their mental and emotional health needs become paramount, and learning must take a back seat. The sooner we can get them appropriate help, perhaps before the crisis is so severe, the sooner learning and being a child can be a priority for them again. We are grateful for partners in the community who can help children and families, because the schools cannot do it alone. We need help. Our children and families need help.” Dr. David Flowers West Fargo Public Schools Superintendent

for two weeks or more in a row that they stopped doing usual activities.

16.1%

of students

seriously considered attempting suicide.

11.5%

of students

actually attempted suicide

one or more times.

2013 North Dakota Youth Risk Behavior Survey 9th-12th grade results

What You Can Do You can change the path of a child’s life. Please donate at ImagineThriving.org to enhance the lives of children in our community. The Goetz Mental Wellness Initiative (GMWI) is a 501c3 organization. Contributions to this organization are tax deductible.

IMAGINE THRIVING STUDENT BOARD (Top row L-R) Abbie Haug, Izzy Waite, Kelsey Bishoff, GMWI Board President - Stephanie Goetz, Corrine Burrell, Skyler Stoner, Rachael Rosson, Auna Lee and Danielle Dube. (Bottom row L-R) Dylan Putnam, GMWI Executive Director - Abby Tow, Tailor Rudolph and Emily Chadwick.

Action Before Crisis Today is a new era and it starts with you! IMAGINE THRIVING is a community action project that empowers students and parents with mental health information. It revolves around the Imagine Thriving Student Board that is made up of local high school and college students. These students have united to educate our community about mental health. They host community events and provide presentations to students, parents and community organizations. These activities increase our community’s understanding of mental illness and help to open the lines of communication. It’s our role as adults and as community members to give kids a world where the resources and opportunities they need to grow into healthy and productive adults are available. Your financial contribution will change a student’s life. The Goetz Mental Wellness Initiative (GMWI) and its action project Imagine Thriving are empowering students and their families with needed resources and education. With the support of grant funding and donations from the community the GMWI has been able to provide local school districts with funding for Student Wellness Facilitators (SWF). These new positions are filled by specially trained and designated school employees to work with students who are struggling and their parents/ guardians to get them the care they need. Two SWF have been funded in Fargo Public Schools and one in Moorhead Area Public Schools. As funding is available this will be expanded to include two needed SWF in West Fargo Public Schools and an a third in Fargo; and then hopefully into the region. Because for some families, expenses like cab rides to and from appointments, co-pays and prescriptions, would mean that a student would go without care, the Initiative has established the Access to Care Fund to help defray the cost of treatment. For more information: ImagineThriving.org GoetzInitiative.org

Calendar of Events

To include your event in our family-friendly calendar, email shendricksen@TheVillageFamily.org. Deadline for the February/March calendar is December 23, 2014. Although we strive to be as accurate as possible, please call ahead to verify information, registration requirements, or event fees. Due to limited space, we are unable to include all submissions.

DECEMBER 2014 EVENTS 12.1 Monday • Fraser, Ltd. Festival of Trees. Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-232-3301 or www.fraserltd.org • Children’s Storytime. 4 p.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 12.2 Tuesday • Fraser, Ltd. Festival of Trees. Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-232-3301 or www.fraserltd.org 12.3 Wednesday • Fraser, Ltd. Festival of Trees. Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-232-3301 or www.fraserltd.org

• Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • March of Dimes Bowls for Babies. Tickets at Fargo, West Fargo, and Moorhead Gate City Bank locations, or at the door. 11 a.m.-1:30 p.m., Ramada Plaza & Suites, 1635 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-235-5530 or www.marchofdimes.org/northdakota 12.4 Thursday • Fraser, Ltd. Festival of Trees. Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-232-3301 or www.fraserltd.org • Fargo Force vs. Waterloo Black Hawks. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.fargoforce.com

Custom Newborn Portraiture ThePhotoDad.com 701.541.2791

December/January 2015

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12.5 Friday • Fraser, Ltd. Festival of Trees. Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-232-3301 or www.fraserltd.org • Children’s Storytime. 7 p.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Open House & Main Street Shopping. Goodies, shopping, carolers, personal tours. 1:30-4 p.m., Edgewood Senior Living, 4440 37th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-365-8200 or www.edgewoodseniorliving.com • 88th Annual Concordia Christmas Concert: “Arise, Shine, for Your Light Has Come.” 7 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 888-477-0277 or www.ConcordiaChristmas.com • Parents’ Night Out Open Gym. Ages 5-14. 7-9 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com • Fargo Force vs. Waterloo Black Hawks. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.fargoforce.com • “Willy Wonka.” Presented by FMCT. 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org 12.6 Saturday • Jingle Bell Run/Walk for Arthritis. Registration at 8 a.m., race starts at 9 a.m., Courts Plus Fitness, 3491 S. University Dr., Fargo, 701-388-1988 or www.arthritis.org/JingleBellRun • Holiday Sale at the Center for Creativity. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-551-6100 or www.plainsart.org • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Jaws, Paws & Lunch with Santa Claus. Limited seating; call for ticket info. 11 a.m. & 12:30 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 or www.redriverzoo.org • Adopt-A-Pet Photos with Santa & Adoption Days. Photos from noon3 p.m., view animals for adoption from 1-3 p.m., Petco, 1126 43rd St. SW, Fargo, www.adoptapetfm.org

family

•4 Luv of Dog Rescue Meet the Dogs. Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, www.4luvofdog.org •C hristmas on the Prairie. Crafts, photos with Santa, silent auction, carolers. 1-6 p.m., Bonanzaville, 1351 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-282-2822 or www.bonanzaville.com •S anta Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 1-7 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 31) • “ Willy Wonka Jr.” A shorter version of this timeless story. Presented by FMCT. 2 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org •8 8th Annual Concordia Christmas Concert: “Arise, Shine, for Your Light Has Come.” 2 p.m. & 7 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 888-477-0277 or www.ConcordiaChristmas.com •S aturday Fun Night. Ages 5-12. Register at www.ymcacassclay.org/ funnights. 4:30-9:30 p.m., Schlossman YMCA, 4243 19th Ave. S., Fargo •F M Opera 3rd Annual Snowball Gala. Dinner, silent auction, entertainment. Call for ticket info. 6 p.m., Hilton Garden Inn, 4351 17th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-239-4558 or www.fmopera.org • “ We’re in the Christmas Mood.” Catered meal and Branson-style musical presented by EBC Fraternity Alumni Committee. Call to reserve tickets. 6:30-9:30 p.m., Bonanzaville, 1351 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-282-2822 or www.bonanzaville.com • “ Willy Wonka.” Presented by FMCT. 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org 12.7 Sunday •S anta Fly-In. Noon-2 p.m., Fargo Air Museum, 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701293-8043 or www.fargoairmuseum.org •H oliday Treats & Tours. 1-4 p.m., Historic Comstock House, 506 8th St. S., Moorhead, 218-299-4211 •S anta Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 1-7 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 31) • “ Willy Wonka.” Presented by FMCT. 2 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org

family

12.6 Jingle Bell Run/Walk for Arthritis

• Holiday Brass Chamber Music Concert. 2 p.m., First Presbyterian Church, 650 2nd Ave. N., Fargo, 701-478-3676 or www.fmsymphony.org • 88th Annual Concordia Christmas Concert: “Arise, Shine, for Your Light Has Come.” 2 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 888-477-0277 or www.ConcordiaChristmas.com • Lorie Line Concert. 3 p.m., Fargo Theatre, 314 Broadway, Fargo, 701-205-3182 or www.fargotheatre.com • Winter with the Junior Concert Strings. FM Area Youth Symphonies concert. 7 p.m., First Presbyterian Church, 850 2nd Ave. N., Fargo, 701-388-4536 12.8 Monday • Jazz Ensemble Concert. 7:30 p.m., Buxton/Hanson Hall, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 12.9 Tuesday • Percussion Ensemble Concert. 7:30 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 12.10 Wednesday • School’s Out Day Camp. Call for details. 7 a.m.-6 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

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• Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 31) 12.11 Thursday • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 31) • “Willy Wonka.” Presented by FMCT. 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org • “Jekyll & Hyde.” Presented by Davies Theatre Dept. 7:30 p.m., Davies High School, 7150 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-446-5768 or www.fargo.k12.nd.us/ BoxOffice 12.12 Friday • Children’s Storytime. 10:30 a.m. & 7 p.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • ND Autism Center Book Fair. 1-8 p.m. with special guests and readings at 3:30, 5:30 & 7 p.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-277-8844 or www.ndautismcenter.org • YWCA’s Annual Unique Boutique. The YWCA’s Unique Boutique gift shop allows women and children staying at the shelter to shop for the holidays. Call for donation and volunteer info. 3-9 p.m., YWCA Emergency Shelter, 3000 S. University Dr., Fargo, 701-232-3449

December/January 2015

12.12 Friday (cont.) • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 31) • Holiday Lights Display. Drive-through tours from 5-8 p.m., Bonanzaville, 1351 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-282-2822 or www.bonanzaville.com • Happy Holidays Open Gym. Ages 5-14. 7-9 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com • Fargo Force vs. Cedar Rapids RoughRiders. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.fargoforce.com • “Willy Wonka.” Presented by FMCT. 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org • “Jekyll & Hyde.” Presented by Davies Theatre Dept. 7:30 p.m., Davies High School, 7150 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-446-5768 or www.fargo.k12.nd.us/BoxOffice 12.13 Saturday • Gingerbread & Jingle Bells. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Jaws, Paws & Lunch with Santa Claus. Limited seating; call for ticket info. 11 a.m. & 12:30 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 or www.redriverzoo.org

• Adopt-A-Pet Photos with Santa. Noon-3 p.m., Petco, 1126 43rd St. SW, Fargo, www.adoptapetfm.org • Awesome Art Afternoon. 1-3 p.m., RDJ Rec Center, 1104 2nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 1-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 31) • “Willy Wonka Jr.” A shorter version of this timeless story. Presented by FMCT. 2 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org • Holiday Pops Family Concert: Jazz Christmas. 2 p.m., Fargo Theatre, 314 Broadway, Fargo, 701-478-3676 or www.fmsymphony.org • “Amahl & the Night Visitors.” Presented by FM Opera. Call or visit website for ticket info. 2 p.m., Frances Frazier Comstock Theatre, Concordia College, Moorhead, 701-293-4558 or www.fmopera.org (See ad pg. 29) • Dive-In Movie. Bring a water inflatable or use a noodle from the Y. 4 p.m., Fercho YMCA, 400 1st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-293-9622 • Holiday Lights Display. Drive-through tours from 5-8 p.m., Bonanzaville, 1351 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-282-2822 or www.bonanzaville.com • “Willy Wonka.” Presented by FMCT. 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org • “Jekyll & Hyde.” Presented by Davies Theatre Dept. 7:30 p.m., Davies High School, 7150 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-446-5768 or www.fargo.k12.nd.us/BoxOffice 12.14 Sunday • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 1-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 31) • “Willy Wonka.” Presented by FMCT. 2 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org • “Amahl & the Night Visitors.” Presented by FM Opera. Call or visit website for ticket info. 2 p.m., Frances Frazier Comstock Theatre, Concordia College, Moorhead, 701-293-4558 or www.fmopera.org (See ad pg. 29) • “Jekyll & Hyde.” Presented by Davies Theatre Dept. 2 p.m., Davies High School, 7150 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-446-5768 or www.fargo.k12.nd.us/BoxOffice

Pride in our PurPose Your Family Counts! BE COUNTED! Make sure you receive important school district information. Register your pre-kindergarten child at https://communityed.moorheadschools.org and select Community Census or call 218-284-3400.

2015-16 Kindergarten Registration Begins February 10 & 11 26

December/January 2015

12.17 Wednesday • FirstLink’s Giving Tree of Hope. Toys will be distributed to children and adults with special needs. Requirements include a driver’s license or photo ID and Social Security card for head of household, and Social Security card for each person receiving a gift. 9 a.m.-4 p.m., Fargo Civic Center, 207 4th St. N., Fargo, 2-1-1 or 701-235-7335 • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 31) 12.18 Thursday • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 31) • The Blenders Concert. 7:30 p.m., Fargo Theatre, 314 Broadway, Fargo, 701-205-3182 or www.fargotheatre.com

villagefamilymag.org

family

12.7 Winter with the Junior Concert Strings

12.19 Friday • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 31) • Holiday Lights Display. Drive-through tours from 5-8 p.m., Bonanzaville, 1351 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-2822822 or www.bonanzaville.com • Children’s Storytime. 7 p.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • The Classic Nutcracker. Presented by FM Ballet. 7 p.m., NDSU, Fargo, 701-234-9440 or www.fmballet.org • Fargo Force vs. Sioux Falls Stampede. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.fargoforce.com • The Blenders Concert. 7:30 p.m., Fargo Theatre, 314 Broadway, Fargo, 701-205-3182 or www.fargotheatre.com 12.20 Saturday • Storybook Breakfast. Presented by Sheyenne and West Fargo High School Theatre Depts. Tickets at the door. 9 a.m.-noon, West Fargo High School, 801 9th St. E., West Fargo, www.westfargotheatre.com • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Family XerZone Event. Games, fitness activities, healthy snacks. All ages welcome. 1-3 p.m., Fercho YMCA, 400 1st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-293-9622

family

• Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. View animals for adoption. 1-3 p.m., Petco, 1126 43rd St. SW, Fargo, www.adoptapetfm.org • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue Meet the Dogs. Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, www.4luvofdog.org • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 1-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 31) • The Classic Nutcracker. Presented by FM Ballet. 2 p.m. & 7 p.m., NDSU, Fargo, 701-234-9440 or www.fmballet.org • The Blenders Concert. 2 p.m. & 7:30 p.m., Fargo Theatre, 314 Broadway, Fargo, 701-205-3182 or www.fargotheatre.com • Holiday Lights Display. Drive-through tours from 5-8 p.m., Bonanzaville, 1351 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-2822822 or www.bonanzaville.com • Holiday Parents’ Night Out. Ages 6 wks-11 yrs. Register by Dec. 17; call 701-364-4166. 5:30-9 p.m., Fercho YMCA, 400 1st. Ave. S., Fargo 12.21 Sunday •S anta Fly-In. Noon-2 p.m., Fargo Air Museum, 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-293-8043 or www.fargoairmuseum.org •S anta Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 1-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 31)

villagefamilymag.org

• The Blenders Concert. 2 p.m. & 7:30 p.m., Fargo Theatre, 314 Broadway, Fargo, 701-205-3182 or www.fargotheatre.com • Skate with Santa. 2:15-4:15 p.m., Moorhead Sports Center, 324 S. 24th St., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com 12.22 Monday • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 31) 12.23 Tuesday • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com (See ad pg. 31) 12.24 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 12.25 Thursday • Christmas Day. For information on food assistance and meals over the holidays, contact FirstLink by dialing 2-1-1 or 701-235-7335, or visit the website at www.myfirstlink.org 12.26 Friday • School’s Out Day Camp. Call for details. 7 a.m.-6 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com

December/January 2015

•S leigh Rides. 1-4 p.m., Viking Ship Park, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com

School’s Out Day Camp at TNT Kid’s Fitness

12.28 Sunday •F amily First Week. Free admission for grandparents. 1-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Sleigh Rides. 1-4 p.m., Viking Ship Park, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com

12.26 Friday (cont.) • Winter Adventure Days. Activity camp for children. Space is limited; call 701364-4153 to register. 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m., Fercho YMCA, 400 1st Ave. S., Fargo • Family First Week. Free admission for grandparents. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org

12.27 Saturday •F amily First Week. Free admission for moms. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org •C hildren’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701281-1002 or www.bn.com

Indoor Birthday Party Place!

Includes: • Bounce N Slide • 16’ Slide • Western Shoot Out • Giant Birthday Chair • Big Screen TV 15 Children Allowed Adults Welcome

Games Galore Provides the Following: • Professional Attendent • Plates, Cups, Napkins, Utensils • Tables/Chairs • Fridge/Freezer • Pizza Ovens

December/January 2015

villagefamilymag.org

12.29 Monday • School’s Out Day Camp. Call for details. 7 a.m.-6 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com • Winter Adventure Days. Activity camp for children. Space is limited; call 701364-4153 to register. 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m., Fercho YMCA, 400 1st Ave. S., Fargo • Family First Week. Free admission for dads. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Sleigh Rides. 1-4 p.m., Viking Ship Park, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com 12.30 Tuesday • School’s Out Day Camp. Call for details. 7 a.m.-6 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com • Winter Adventure Days. Activity camp for children. Space is limited; call 701364-4153 to register. 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m., Fercho YMCA, 400 1st Ave. S., Fargo • Family First Week. Free admission for kids. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Sleigh Rides. 1-4 p.m., Viking Ship Park, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com 12.31 Wednesday • School’s Out Day Camp. Call for details. 7 a.m.-6 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Family First Week. Bring a friend for free. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org

family

• Zoo Year’s Eve. Fun activities, animal encounters. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 or www.redriverzoo.org • Fargo Force vs. Des Moines Buccaneers. 6:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-3567656 or www.fargoforce.com

JANUARY 2015 EVENTS 1.1 Thursday • FirstChoice Clinic’s Annual Largest Baby Shower. Help refill FirstChoice Clinic’s Family Boutique by dropping off new baby items at all FM Hornbacher’s locations. Donations accepted throughout the month of January. www.teamfirstchoiceclinic.com 1.2 Friday • School’s Out Day Camp. Call for details. 7 a.m.-6 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com 1.3 Saturday • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701281-1002 or www.bn.com • Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. View animals for adoption. 1-3 p.m., Petco, 1126 43rd St. SW, Fargo, www.adoptapetfm.org • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue Meet the Dogs. Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, www.4luvofdog.org

• Awesome Art Afternoon. 1-3 p.m., RDJ Rec Center, 1104 2nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Dive-In Movie. Bring a water inflatable or use a noodle from the Y. 4 p.m., Fercho YMCA, 400 1st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-293-9622 • Saturday Fun Night. Ages 5-12. Register at www.ymcacassclay.org/ funnights. 4:30-9:30 p.m., Schlossman YMCA, 4243 19th Ave. S., Fargo • Fargo Force vs. Des Moines Buccaneers. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-3567656 or www.fargoforce.com 1.14 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 1.16 Friday • West Fargo Winter Days. 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • Ninja Warrior Open Gym. Ages 5-14. 7-9 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com 1.17 Saturday • West Fargo Winter Days. 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org

• Polar Party. Outdoor games, crosscountry skiing, snowshoeing, bonfire. 10 a.m.-2 p.m., MB Johnson Park, 3601 11th St. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.moorheadparks.com • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. View animals for adoption. 1-3 p.m., Petco, 1126 43rd St. SW, Fargo, www.adoptapetfm.org • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue Meet the Dogs. Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, www.4luvofdog.org • FM Chamber Chorale: Cathedral Classics. 7:30 p.m., St. Joseph’s Catholic Church, 218 10th St. S., Moorhead, 701-238-0970 or www.fmchamberchorale.org 1.18 Sunday • West Fargo Winter Days. 701-4335360 or www.wfparks.org • FM Chamber Chorale: Cathedral Classics. 2 p.m., St. Joseph’s Catholic Church, 218 10th St. S., Moorhead, 701-238-0970 or www.fmchamberchorale.org

1.7 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 1.9 Friday • Freeze Open Gym. Ages 5-14. 7-8:30 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com • Fargo Force vs. Des Moines Buccaneers. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.fargoforce.com 1.10 Saturday • Jazz Day. Hvidsten Hall of Music, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 • Snowflakes & Cupcakes. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

family

villagefamilymag.org

December/January 2015

1.19 Monday • West Fargo Winter Days. 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • School’s Out Day Camp. Call for details. 7 a.m.-6 p.m., TNT Kid’s Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com • Friendship Day. A Martin Luther King Jr. celebration. Registration required. 1-4 p.m., Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-551-6100 or www.plainsart.org (See ad pg. 33) • Hockeyfest. 1-5 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-4996060 or www.fargoparks.com 1.21 Wednesday • West Fargo Winter Days. 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 1.22 Thursday • West Fargo Winter Days. 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org

Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com 1.24 Saturday • Muffins & Juice with Mother Goose. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Red River Valley Boat & Marine Products Show. 10 a.m.-8 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • MSUM Cheryl Nelson Lossett Performing Arts Series: TU Dance. 7:30 p.m., Hansen Theatre, Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2271 or www.mnstate.edu/perform 1.25 Sunday • Red River Valley Boat & Marine Products Show. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com

1.23 Friday • Red River Valley Boat & Marine Products Show. Noon-9 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr.,

701.237.3009

Who will guide you through?

Parenting Schedules

Gestational Agreements

Prenuptial Agreements

Paternity

Adoption

Child and Spousal Support

Collaborative Negotiating

Abuse Issues

www.gjesdahllaw.com

Divorce

lawyers for families

December/January 2015

villagefamilymag.org

1.27 Tuesday • Disney’s Beauty & the Beast. 7:30 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com 1.28 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 1.30 Friday • Fargo Force vs. Bloomington Thunder. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 or www.fargoforce.com • Performing Arts Series: Minneapolis Guitar Quartet with Colette Illarde. 7:30 p.m., Centrum, Knutson Campus Center, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 • Monster Jam. 7:30 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com 1.31 Saturday • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Awesome Art Afternoon. 1-3 p.m., RDJ Rec Center, 1104 2nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Cross-Country Ski Race. Register by Jan. 23 at www.fargoparks.com. 9-11:15 a.m., Edgewood Golf Course, 19 Golf Course Ave. N., Fargo, 701-499-6060 • Family XerZone Event. Games, fitness activities, healthy snacks. All ages welcome. 1-3 p.m., Fercho YMCA, 400 1st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-293-9622 • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue Meet the Dogs. Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, www.4luvofdog.org • Family Winter-ific Day. 1-4 p.m., Edgewood Winter Chalet, 19 Golf Course Ave. N., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com • Monster Jam. 2 p.m. & 7:30 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Candlelight Ski & Snowshoe. All ages and abilities welcome. Call 218-4982124 for info on equipment rental and ski passes. 6-9 p.m., Buffalo River State Park, Glyndon, Minn. • Frozen Fantasy Family Dance. 7-9 p.m., RDJ Rec Center, 1104 2nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com

family

• Fargo Force vs. Bloomington Thunder. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-3567656 or www.fargoforce.com • Masterworks Concert III: All-Beethoven. 7:30 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701478-3676 or www.fmsymphony.org • The Concordia Orchestra Spotlight Concert. 7:30 p.m., Scheels Center for the Performing Arts, 124 N. Terrace, Fargo, 218299-4515

PUBLIC LIBRARIES

Call or visit the library for details. Pre-registration may be required. Fargo Public Main Library 102 3rd St. N., Fargo, 701-241-1472 or www.fargolibrary.org • Weekly Storytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Registration required. Call for details • Chess Club. Open to all ages and abilities. Thursdays (except Dec. 25 & Jan. 1), 5:30-8:30 p.m. • Crafts for Kids: Gingerbread Houses. Registration required. Dec. 1, 4 p.m. • Baby Rhyme Time. Lapsit storytime for babies (birth-18 mos). Dec. 4 & 18, 6:30 p.m. • Reading the World Book Club. Dec. 4 & Jan. 8, 7 p.m. • Kindle Basics. Registration required. Dec. 8, 2 p.m. • Little Squirt Science. For preschoolers. Registration required. Dec. 11 & Jan. 8, 6:30 p.m.; Dec. 12 & Jan. 9, 11 a.m. • Intro to Lefse Making. For teens and adults. Registration required. Dec. 13, 10 a.m. • PAWS for Reading. Grades K-6. Registration required. Dec. 13 & Jan. 10, 1 p.m. • Quest for Middle Earth. Dec. 13, 2 p.m. • Associates in Adventure (A.I.A.) Book Club for Kids. Grades 4-7. Registration required. Dec. 16 & Jan. 20, 4 p.m. • Teen Crafts: Gingerbread Houses. Registration required. Dec. 18, 4:30 p.m. • Storytime for Grown-Ups: Holiday Edition. Dec. 18, 7 p.m. • DIY Kids’ Crafts. Grades 3-6. Registration required. Dec. 27, 10 a.m. • Legos at the Library. For kids under 12. Dec. 27, 2-4 p.m. • Elephant & Piggie Day. For kids 12 and under. Dec. 29, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. • Lego Mania. Annual Lego design contest for kids 12 and under. Registration required. Dec. 30, 2 p.m. • Anna & Elsa’s New Year’s Eve Ball. Kids 12 and under; costumes welcome. Registration required. Dec. 31, 1 p.m. • Current History Book Club. Jan. 27, 7 p.m.

Sleigh Rides at Viking Ship Park, Moorhead

Celebrate the season of giving. RHEAULT FARM | 2902 25TH ST S.

VISIT SANTA MEET SANTA’S REINDEER MAKE A HOLIDAY CRAFT DECORATE COOKIES WITH MRS. CLAUS

FREE ADMISSION WITH DONATION OF A CANNED GOOD, NEW OR GENTLY USED TOY OR CASH DONATION

HOLIDAY HOURS Nov. 29-30...................... 1-7 pm Dec. 6-7.......................... 1-7 pm Dec. 10-12...................... 4-8 pm Dec. 13-14...................... 1-8 pm Dec. 17-19......................... 4-8 pm Dec. 20-21......................... 1-8 pm Dec. 22-23......................... 4-8 pm

701.499.7788 | fargoparks.com

family

villagefamilymag.org

December/January 2015

• Little Squirt Science. For preschoolers. Registration required. Dec. 11 & Jan. 8, 11 a.m. • Intro to Lefse Making. For teens and adults. Registration required. Dec. 11, 6 p.m. • Free Friday Movie. Dec. 12 & Jan. 9, 1 p.m. • Unraveled Crafters Club. Dec. 14, 1 p.m. • Teen Crafts: Gingerbread Houses. Registration required. Dec. 16, 4:30 p.m. • Free Friday Movie for Teens. Dec. 30, 1 p.m.

1.1-1.31 FirstChoice Clinic’s Annual Largest Baby Shower

Dr. James Carlson Library 2801 32nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-476-4040 or www.fargolibrary.org • Weekly Storytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Registration required. Call for details • Baby Rhyme Time. Lapsit storytime for babies (birth-18 mos). Dec. 4 & 18, 10 a.m. • Crafts for Kids: Gingerbread Houses. Registration required. Dec. 4, 4 p.m. • Tea Time Book Club. Dec. 6 & Jan. 4, 2 p.m. • Kindle Basics. Registration required. Dec. 10, 6:30 p.m.

Northport Branch 2714 N. Broadway, Fargo, 701-476-4026 or www.fargolibrary.org • Weekly Storytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Registration required. Call for details • Crafts for Kids: Gingerbread Houses. Registration required. Dec. 2, 4 p.m. • Intro to Lefse Making. For teens and adults. Registration required. Dec. 13, 2 p.m. • Northport Classic Book Club. Dec. 17 & Jan. 21, 6:30 p.m. West Fargo Public Library 109 3rd St. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5460 or www.westfargolibrary.org • Children’s Simply Stories. Tuesdays, 10:15 a.m. • Children’s Storytime & Craft. For preschoolers and their caretakers. Tuesdays, 1:30-2 p.m. • Knitty Giddy. Adult group; bring your own supplies. Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m.

May faith, family and friendship warm your heart this Christmas and New Year! View our new videos on YouTube or at www.dakotaranch.org. Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch

December/January 2015

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• Friday Morning Movies. Fridays, 10:30 a.m. • Genealogy Saturdays. A staff genealogist will be available for questions. Saturdays, noon-4 p.m. • Santa Comes to the Library. Dec. 6, 2-4 p.m. • Teacups Book Club. Dec. 8 & Jan. 12, 7 p.m. • Creative Corner. For adults. Dec. 10, 1:30 p.m. • Dabble in Calligraphy. Registration required. Dec. 11, 6:30 p.m. • Read to a Therapy Dog. Registration required. Dec. 18, 6:30 p.m. • New Release Movies. Dec. 20 & 27, 2 p.m. • Board Games & Legos. Open to all ages. Dec. 30, 2:30-3:30 p.m. • Kids’ Blast into the New Year! Games, projects, music, ice cream floats. Dec. 31, 2-4 p.m. • Technology Classes. Call to sign up Moorhead Public Library 118 5th St. S., Moorhead, 218-233-7594 or www.larl.org • Open Computer Practice. Mondays, 2 p.m. • Origami Club. All ages and experience levels welcome. Mondays, 6:30 p.m. • Storytime. For children of all ages. Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m.; Wednesdays, 10:30 a.m. • Baby Bounce. For parents and babies (up to age 2). Thursdays, 10 a.m. • Storytime Plus. Stories, songs, poems, craft. Dec. 13 & Jan. 10, 10 a.m. • Classics Book Club. Dec. 16 & Jan. 20, 6:30 p.m.

• Adult Book Club. Dec. 18 & Jan. 15, 6:30 p.m. • Author Talk: Gerald Anderson. Jan. 12, 6:30 p.m. • Yarn Circle. Open to all ages and skill levels. Bring your knitting, crocheting, or needlework projects. Jan. 22, 6:30 p.m. • Computer Classes. Call for details

CLASSES

Call for information. Pre-registration may be required. Blueprint for Birth Childbirth Education Mojo Fit Studios, 1650 45th St. S., Fargo, 701-371-0798 or www.blueprintforbirth.com • Achieve a VBAC • Have a Natural Birth in the Hospital • Prepare for a Homebirth The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Super Science Sundays • Yunkie Club Essentia Health OB Education 3000 32nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-8100 or www.essentiahealth.org • Basic Training for New Dads • Breastfeeding • Car Seat Safety • Lamaze • Mom’s Helpers • Tender Transitions

Kindergarten Registration

February 12-13 and 16-19 7:30 am - 6:00 pm Register at the school your child will attend. If you do not know which school your child will attend, please call 446-1043. If your child will attend Ed Clapp, please register at any of the following schools: Kennedy at Eagles, Lincoln, Lewis & Clark, Centennial or Kennedy Child must be age 5 by July 31, 2015.

Please be sure to bring: • Your child’s certified birth certificate. • Your child’s current immunization record. • A copy of a document that includes the child’s parent/guardian name and address (e.g., utility bill or bank statement).

701.446.1000

www.fargo.k12.nd.us

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December/January 2015

Fargo Park District 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Accelerated Artists • Artmania •C reate & Explore •H oliday Fun •M r. Claus Class •M rs. Claus Class FM Ambulance 701-364-1758 or www.fmambulance.com •H eartsaver CPR/AED •H eartsaver First Aid FM Fencing Club 1025 14th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-541-6016 or www.fmfencing.com • I ntro to Fencing for Adults • I ntro to Fencing for Musketeers Parenting Resource Center 701-241-5700 or www.ag.ndsu.edu/ casscountyextension/home-and-family •P arents Forever Plains Art Museum 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-551-6100 or www.plainsart.org •K id Quest • Youth & Adult Art Experiences

Red River Zoo 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 or www.redriverzoo.org • Pint-Sized Explorers • ZooVentures Sanford Health Community Education 701-234-5570, 877-234-4240 or www.sanfordhealth.org • Baby’s First Ride • Better Choices, Better Health • Breastfeeding Beginnings • Caring for Your Newborn • C.A.R.S. (Children & Restraint Systems) • Family & Friends CPR • Honor Your Health • Infant Massage • Labor: What to Expect • Lamaze • Our Family is Having a Baby • Safe & Sound – Preparing Your Home for Baby U of M Extension 218-236-2005 or www.extension.umn.edu/ ParentsForever • Parents Forever

ADD A LITTLE HE ALT H

to Your Holidays

North Dakota Soybean Council Our World Is Growing.

December/January 2015

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www.ndsoybean.org For free recipes and information on soyfoods, call 1-888-469-6409 or email swolf@ndsoybean.org

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10/14/14 8:35 AM

The Village Family Service Center 701-451-4900 or www.TheVillageFamily.org • Anger Management • Depression/Anxiety Group • Happiness is a Verb • Mindfulness • Parenting with Love & Logic • Relationships 101 The Village Financial Resource Center 701-235-3328 or www.HelpWithMoney.org • Bankruptcy Education • Homebuyer Education • Money Management Education • Tenant Education YMCA 701-293-9622, 701-281-0126 or www.ymcacassclay.org • Healthy Family Home. 701-364-4166 • Swim Lessons Holiday Session. www.ymcacassclay.org/swimschool • Winter Program Session. www.ymcacassclay.org/programs

•E llen Jean Diederich: Samson’s Gift. Ends Jan. 11 •B akken Boom! Artists Respond to the North Dakota Oil Rush. Begins Jan. 30 •T odd Hebert: Selected Works 1999-2014 • I n Crypt: On New Worlds Re-Ordered, An Installation by Stephen Alexander Wischer •V IVID: The Art of Seth Chwast and Dietrich Sieling The Rourke Art Museum 521 Main Ave., Moorhead, 218-236-8861 or www.therourke.org • Art for Sacred Spaced. Ends Dec. 7 • Andy Scholz: Oil in the Fields. Ends Jan. 18 •T ransformations: The Art of the Mask

1.24 MSUM: TU Dance

MUSEUMS & EXHIBITS Call for additional information.

Concordia College Cyrus M. Running Gallery 901 8th St. S., Moorhead, 218-299-4623 • Sheldon Green – Visual Stories: My Journey from Negs to Jpegs. Ends Dec. 14 • Annual Concordia Faculty Art Exhibition. Begins Jan. 15 Fargo Air Museum 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-293-8043 or www.fargoairmuseum.org Historical & Cultural Society of Clay County Hjemkomst Center, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5511 or www.hcscconline.org • Doing Our Part: Clay County in WWII. Ends Dec. 31 •F MVA Constraint. Ends Jan. 5 •H ouse & Home. Ends Jan. 7 MSUM Planetarium Bridges Hall, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2920 • Season of Light Plains Art Museum 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-551-6100 or www.plainsart.org • Art Boom: The Tri-College Art Faculty Show. Ends Jan. 4

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December/January 2015

YOUR FAMILY z spiritual

December/January 2015

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By Denise Hellekson Thanksgiving is over, Black Friday has come and gone, and the beginning of the holiday season is upon us. I love the holiday season. Bing, Andy, and Nat serenading me with the Christmas songs that shape my memories. Christmas decorations adding a warm glow to the cold, dark December nights. Holiday movies, like old friends, reminding me of the magic and miracles and goodness of the season. Gathering with friends and family to bake cookies, decorate the tree, and celebrate with those I love. What’s not to love? But I can become overwhelmed with the lists of things to be done before December 24. I have been known to become a servant to the almighty “To Do” list in an effort to buy the perfect gifts and fulfill the commitments that come with the season. At the height of trying to do all things and be all places for all those I care about, I can remember flopping onto the couch one Christmas Day to catch my breath. I finally had time to sit down and take in the moment, only to discover 90 percent of it had already passed. The presents had been opened, the feast eaten, boxes and paper strewn everywhere. By the time I was fully present to Christmas, it was almost gone. In my quest to conquer my many lists, I’d lost sight of the reason behind all the activity. I was so caught up in getting to the finish line that I missed out on the experiences that make the season so special. Since that time, I’ve been working on giving myself the gift of being more present to the season. It’s a work in progress, but here are some simple, quick, low-demand tips to help set the stage for a happier, more present holiday experience. Before you start making your “To Do” list, which is all about the “what” of the holiday season, define for yourself the purpose and overall goal, which gets to the “why.” Set your intention for the holiday season. How do you want to feel? What do you want to experience? What do you want to remember? Identifying your “why” not only helps you determine what you really need to include on your list, but it also takes it from an obligation to a choice. Your list becomes a tool to help you get to your overall goal, rather than a task master that controls your days and eats away at your peace of mind. Some other questions to ask yourself as you’re planning your day: What kind of a day do you want to have? How can you bring a sense of fun and enjoyment to the day? What do you need to NOT do in order to have a good day?

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When you wake up in the morning, instead of flying out of bed playing “beat the clock,” set your alarm for five to 10 minutes earlier and start the day with “Thank you.” Make a mental list of the things you are grateful for and the things you are looking forward to. Set your intention to have a good day: “I have all the time I need to do the things I need to today,” “I am calm and relaxed and looking forward to a great day,” “I am present and open to the goodness of the season.” “Thank you” can be a great way to end the day as well, and it helps you to fall asleep remembering the successes and unexpected joys of the day. Be selective. What do you need to cut back on in order to appreciate and enjoy the engagements that matter to you? Is it really about doing it all, or doing what matters most to you and your family? Give yourself permission to be selective, to slow it down a little and to choose. Maybe taking an evening to slip into your pj’s, read “A Christmas Carol,” and enjoy your tree will be the perfect gift to yourself instead of rushing out to another engagement when you are tired and worn and your nerves are wearing thin. You get to decide; choose wisely! As you go about your day, take time to stop, breathe, and take in the sights, smells, and sounds around you. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now? What do I need to do to take care of myself?” Recharge your battery! Eat food that gives you the nutrition you need to stay energized. Pack healthy snacks to graze on throughout the day. Get adequate sleep. Spread a little cheer throughout the day. A lot of stressed people are running around this time of year. You can either be the catalyst that snaps their last nerve, or the balm that offers kindness and connection in a busy world. It doesn’t take much—a friendly smile, a little patience, common courtesies like holding a door open, or saying thank you—simple gestures that can extend the hand of friendship to those around us. By being more present, we not only have the opportunity to embrace the season more fully for ourselves, but we are also more available to share the gift of our presence with others. Wishing you simple pleasures, happy moments with those you love, and a heart filled with the goodness of the season. Denise Hellekson provides EAP counseling, training, consulting, and crisis response services for The Village Business Institute.

villagefamilymag.org

December/January 2015

YOUR FAMILY z feature

FirearmS AT safety HOME

KEEPING YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES SAFE By Patricia Carlson

*Author Disclaimer: This is an article about firearms safety—not gun control. Some may argue the two are intrinsically linked, others may see defining lines between them. This article is meant to be a tool to help you safely handle and store firearms in your home, if you choose to have them. Share your thoughts with us after reading the article at www.villagefamilymag.org. Like many North Dakotans, Tom Linnertz grew up hunting. Owning his first firearm was a rite of passage, and he eagerly awaited the annual hunting season when he could enjoy the Peace Garden state’s natural beauty while staking out his game. And, like most North Dakotans in the late 1970s, Linnertz had never taken a hunter safety education course. That all changed the day a bullet pierced his neck, ricocheted through his chest cavity, and exited behind his arm. “Somebody shot over a hill,” says Linnertz, originally from Minot. “That’s one of the main rules of shooting— be sure of your target and what’s beyond. Obviously they had no way of knowing what was beyond.” 38

December/January 2015

At 22 years old, Linnertz lay bleeding to death on the land he loved so much. He had done everything right. He wore orange. He hunted in daylight. He scouted with a group. Still, another hunter made a critical error with their firearm. “It was really bizarre,” Linnertz says, recalling the moments following the shooting. “I would not be here today if I were hunting alone.” Back then, most youngsters learned about guns from their dads, who, most likely, were hunters themselves. Your dad showed you his rifle and said, “Don’t touch this. Don’t play with it. It’s not a toy.” After getting shot, Linnertz realized people needed to be educated on how to safely use firearms. His timing was perfect; hunter safety education courses provided by the North Dakota Game and Fish Department had just started gaining traction in the Fargo area after the state legislature passed a law in 1977 requiring anyone born after December 31, 1961 to take a course before they could buy a hunting license.

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“Before these classes came along, we used to have up to 17 shooting deaths in the state of North Dakota during the hunting season,” explains Linnertz. “We’ve had, I think, only two people die who were graduates of the hunter safety program since it started.”

Gun Ownership

In our hunting-friendly states of North Dakota and Minnesota, firearm ownership is especially popular. But people other than hunters own firearms for purposes like personal protection, sport, or work. Estimates vary, but there are between 270 million to 310 million guns in the United States. That’s about one firearm for every person. A 2013 Pew Research Center survey shows 37 percent of households had an adult who owned a gun. It seems the reasons why Americans own guns have shifted over time. Today, nearly half of gun owners report the main reason they own a firearm is for protection, and about a third say it’s for hunting. In 1999, nearly half said they owned a gun for hunting, and 26 percent said it was for protection, according to a Washington Post/ABC News poll.

Handling a Gun

Dave Gaboury sees the right—and wrong—ways people handle guns in his work as vice president of the Red River Regional Marksmanship Center (RRRMC) in West Fargo. The indoor range offers open handgun and rifle shoot times and classes for all skill levels. Gaboury is also a certified National Rifle Association (NRA) Range Safety Officer, which means he has passed a training course to help facilitate safe shooting activities at a firing range. Gaboury emphasizes that people who operate guns need to be vigilant about gun safety 100 percent of the time. Most gun enthusiasts understand the safety factor, but there are many others who do not. So how should you safely handle a gun? Here’s some advice everyone can follow, whether you’re an experienced gun owner or picking one up for the first time:

family

Consider all guns loaded. This must be a permanent mindset. Train yourself to think there is always a bullet in the chamber. Never assume a gun is free of ammunition, even if someone tells you it is. Think about your gun as a weapon that needs constant watching in terms of safety, says Gaboury. “Don’t think about it as just a tool,” he cautions. Point the gun in a safe direction. Never point the muzzle (where the bullet shoots out) at anything you’re not willing to destroy or kill. Keep your finger off the trigger. Never let your finger touch the trigger when you’re standing or walking around. It is best to keep your trigger finger straightened alongside the frame of the gun. Be sure of your target and what is beyond. Know what your target is, what is in line with it (in front of it), and what is behind it (remember how Tom Linnertz was shot while hunting?). Take a firearms safety class. If you’re considering owning a gun or are interested in trying sport shooting, sign up for a beginner class.

Jordan Smart, an officer with the Moorhead Police Department and a father of five, says if you have kids in your house, it’s extremely important all guns be secured in a locked safe. “I have five kids, and they have a knack for getting into places I thought were out of reach. I can’t stress that enough.” Safely storing your firearm takes forethought and an established routine you ALWAYS follow, not just occasionally, adds Smart. If you have children in your home, or if children visit your home (maybe you’re a grandparent or a tutor or a babysitter), firearms should NEVER be accessible to them. There are so many products on the market— safes, cases, locks, security devices—it’s easy to make safety a priority. KidsHealth (www.kidshealth. org) suggests these safety measures to keep guns away from your kids and prevent accidents:

Storing a Gun

Storing your gun is an important aspect of gun ownership, yet it is often not properly addressed. Why don’t people store guns appropriately? “Laziness. They live alone. They want to show off their collection,” offers Gaboury. Or, he adds, “It’s because if people aren’t exposed to that way of thinking when they’re young, then they don’t do it automatically. It’s like seat belts. A lot of younger people use them automatically because they’ve grown up that way. Older people may not.” How you store your firearm is just as crucial as knowing how to handle it safely. Carrie Lightfoot, owner of The Well-Armed Woman, an Arizonabased business dedicated to educating women on safe gun ownership, writes on her website that you should decide where and how you’ll store your firearms before you bring them home. villagefamilymag.org

December/January 2015

Take the ammunition out of the gun. Lock the ammunition and store it away from the gun. Lock the gun in a safe (a biometric safe that can read ONLY your fingerprint is best) and keep the safe out of reach of kids. DO NOT hide the gun in a closet, drawer, car, or up high. Kids are more adventurous and curious than we give them credit for. Consider using a trigger lock in conjunction with locking your gun in a safe. NEVER use a trigger lock as your main security device. They can be easily defeated. If you use a key lock safe, store the keys separately from your house or car keys. Keep them out of reach of kids. Store gun cleaning supplies (some are poisonous) with other cleaning items that may be hazardous to your children (like detergents). Never leave your gun unattended for any reason.

Talking to Kids About Guns

Talking to your children about firearms is a touchy topic for parents to navigate. Some parents feel kids shouldn’t know about, see, or touch guns. Other parents feel children should be educated about firearms because they play a substantial role in the cultures of North Dakota and Minnesota. For the sake of this article, we are going to explore ways in which parents can talk to their children about guns, if they choose to do so. Kids have a natural curiosity about guns that can’t be easily swayed, and they are exposed to guns at a young age

FirearmS safety For more information on hunter safety and firearms education classes in your area, check out these websites: Red River Regional Marksmanship Center www.RRRMC.com/Training ND Game and Fish Department www.GF.nd.gov/education/hunter-education MN Department of Natural Resources www.dnr.state.mn.us/safety/firearms/index.html#calendar

December/January 2015

through video games, television, and news reports, and in our region, through our hunting culture. Rob Sailer, a Junior Air Pistol Coach who teaches courses through the West Fargo Park District (they are held at the RRRMC), says his first exposure to guns was a lot like Linnertz’s. “I grew up on a farm and learned early on where the ‘dangerous end’ was. That was the extent of gun safety for a while. As I got older, my dad introduced more of the issues I needed to be aware of for gun safety.” As an adult, Sailer became interested in competitive shooting, and in 2009 he started coaching regularly. By that time, Sailer had three children who were in various stages of learning about firearms. Sailer believes teaching children about guns helps reduce their curiosity. “By the time my kids were 2, they knew what a gun was and that they weren’t supposed to touch it. By 4, it was more than just ‘don’t touch,’ it was ‘tell Dad!’ too. By 6 and 7, they knew what they needed to do if they needed to pick one up—point it in a safe direction; keep their finger off the trigger.” The methods you’ll use to talk with and teach your children about guns will change as they grow older. You would not explain a firearm to a 2-year-old the same way you would an 8-year-old. Here are some things parents have done to teach children about firearms: • Let them see your gun. Obviously, double- and triplecheck it’s not loaded. Show them the different parts of the gun and tell them what the different parts do. • Instruct them never to touch the gun. Tell them to leave the area and tell an adult if they see a gun. • Use news reports, video games, or other media sources as ways to spark conversations about guns. Ask them questions about guns or what they’re seeing and reading, and clear up the myths. Distinguish between how a gun is used in ‘real life’ versus what they see on screens. • Assume your children will not understand, or follow through with, your instructions and lessons about guns. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat what you want them to know about guns. • If your child has toy guns, consider using them as teaching tools. You can teach them how to safely handle the gun (finger off the trigger, pointed away from people and objects) in a way that may be interesting. Once your child is older, you can show how the toy gun is different from a real gun. • Practice safe gun handling yourself. Your kids are ALWAYS watching you and you are their best teacher. Walk the walk. • Consider signing up for a gun safety education class. The NRA offers the Eddie Eagle GunSafe Program, which includes an instructor guide, activity book, poster, and video. This is best suited to younger elementary-age children. Late elementary, middle-, and high-schoolers may benefit from taking a hunter safety education course, even if they’re not hunters. This last option is becoming increasingly popular for families in North Dakota and Minnesota. Hunter safety educators say the number of parents and children who are taking the class together is growing each year, as is the number of adults and kids who may not want to shoot guns but who live in a household where firearms are present. Every instructor interviewed for this article says taking

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a firearms safety course—whether for hunting or for general use—is something families should do together if they have a gun in the home. “To be honest, most of the challenge I see is parents not getting gun safety,” explains Sailer. “I find myself correcting parents in their gun handling as often as I correct kids in their gun handling.” One Fargo-Moorhead mom, who wishes to remain anonymous, says everyone in her family (herself, husband, and two kids) has taken and passed a hunter safety education course. “Our son was 13 and our daughter was 15. She is not a hunter, but we made her take the course because we have guns in the house. Her current boyfriend is a hunter, so it was well worth making her take the course with us,” says the mom. She adds that safety was her number one motivation in making that decision. “It’s common sense to take precautions when handling guns. Safety is first. Always.”

Talking to Parents About Guns

What’s more difficult than talking to your children about guns? How about asking their friends’ parents if they keep firearms in their home and how they’re stored? family

If it sounds like an invasion of privacy, it is, in a way. It’s also a critical step in gathering the knowledge you need to keep your kids safe from firearms. Considering the heavy hunting culture we live in, it’s better to err on the side of caution. “If you have guns, parents should be willing to discuss how they’re stored without giving enough specifics that they feel their privacy is violated or they are at increased risk by giving away too much information,” says Gaboury. “You don’t need to go into specific detail, but giving generic information that yes, you have guns; yes, they’re locked in a safe; and yes, the ammo is stored separately, parents can draw their own conclusions on whether they feel their kid is safe at a friend’s house.” Starting a conversation like this can be hard, but the alternative could be much worse. Experts agree those questions should be asked before allowing your child to play at a friend’s house, but advise approaching the topic carefully. Starting broadly about all safety concerns is a good way to ease into the conversation. “Questions like, ‘Are they playing inside or outside?’ ‘Who will be supervising them?’ ‘Is there a busy street nearby?’ are all ways to start the conversation,” says Gaboury. “When you ask about guns after those questions, it’s more like you’re just trying to learn about the safety of the environment and not judging anyone.” villagefamilymag.org

The Future of Firearms Use

A lot has changed in educating people about firearms since Tom Linnertz’s hunting accident. Hunter safety and firearms safety education courses are offered nationwide by various agencies. In some states, like North Dakota and Minnesota, people born after a certain year cannot get a license to hunt without proving they’ve successfully completed a hunter safety education course. Linnertz is now one of the longest serving volunteer hunter safety education instructors in the state. Gun safety is always at the forefront of his mind when teaching, as it should be for anyone interested in owning, handling, or storing firearms. Formerly from Fargo-Moorhead, freelance writer Patricia Carlson writes about baby boomers, parenting, and healthy lifestyles for magazines across the country. Check out her work at www.patriciacarlsonfreelance.com.

December/January 2015

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December/January 2015

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Live Lighter. Get Healthier.

Dennis Halldorson had to get serious about shedding pounds—once and for all. What ignited the renewed motivation? His cardiologist. The 72-year-old began experiencing shortness of breath and it was recommended he enroll in a medical weight loss program. The widower wasn’t in the habit of counting calories or watching what he ate—and the result was weight gain. “I was eating the wrong things,” he says. “When I went grocery shopping, I picked up whatever looked good.” But that stopped when Dennis enrolled in the medical weight loss program at Sanford Health almost one year ago. The retired crop insurance manager started counting calories, changed his diet and increased his activity level. Not only has he lost 70 pounds, but, more importantly, he’s regained his health and a new level of happiness. “Dennis has embraced the whole multidisciplinary approach we recommended,” says Ronald Wiisanen, MD, obesity specialist at Sanford Health, who regards Dennis as one of his most successful patients. “He has been very faithful in attending weight loss classes, seeing a dietitian, and taking medication used to aid weight loss.” Before specializing in treating obesity, Dr. Wiisanen was a primary care physician and saw the effect being overweight had on his patients. “I grew to see obesity impact so many medical problems,” he says. “But our weight management program offers a smart, safe, and reliable solution to help reverse some of the negative impact.” Dr. Wiisanen says most of his patients can achieve at least a 5 percent weight loss, which can produce meaningful health benefits. And that is the primary

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goal at Sanford—improving the health of every patient seen. Because losing weight—and sustaining weight loss—involves lifestyle changes, providers work with patients to offer manageable goals and help keep them on track. “Most individuals are frustrated and have lived with this for years,” Dr. Wiisanen says. “We deal with the psychological aspects, as well, and try to support them. I do a lot of cheerleading.” All of the medical weight loss patients also see a dietitian for an evaluation and counseling. “I tell my patients just to take everything in moderation,” says Kelsey Herrick, the dietitian working with Dennis. “Food logging is a huge thing to help a lot.”

To learn if the medical weight loss management program at Sanford Health could help you, call (701) 234-4111 or toll free (800) 437-4010 ext. 4111. villagefamilymag.org

Dennis credits Herrick with helping to keep him on track, and to overcome his fondness for apple pie and other sweets. “No more candy bars,” he says. Surprisingly, Dennis has discovered he can still eat many of the foods he enjoys, but he has increased the vegetables and especially fruits in his diet, and counts his calories. Dennis has often battled the pounds over the years, and watched his weight fluctuate as his diets took hold, then slowly loosened their grip over time. He vows that won’t happen again, now that he’s experienced sustained success in keeping the pounds off with help from a team of experts at Sanford. “I’m not going to throw away what I learned,” Dennis says.

October/November 2014

UPDATING A WILL

ADDICTION

Development Officer The Village Family Service Center

Counseling Director Lost and Found Ministry

Beth Brantner, LPCC, M.Ed.

Janet Zinke

created a will years ago and its main focus is Q:We guardianship of our son. He is now 24, and has a successful career. My husband and I know we

need to update our plan but don’t know where to start. What do you suggest? The first step in updating your will is to discuss what you want to do for your loved ones and for the causes you believe in. What are your hopes and dreams for leaving a legacy? Once you’ve agreed on these points, visit with your financial or tax professional to assess your assets. Then it’s time to contact an attorney to update your will. You may be able to get by with a codicil, which is simply an amendment to your existing will. If your net worth has grown or your circumstances have changed, you may benefit from other options. Whatever the case, you will be better off when your plan matches your current goals and needs. If charitable intent is part of your plan, let me know if I can help. Different gift planning options can help make any legacy a possibility.

The Village Family Service Center 1201 25th St. S., Fargo, ND 701-451-4900 www.TheVillageFamily.org

Q: A:

ow do I find peace if I’m living with H an alcoholic/addict?

Addiction, a no-fault disease, affects not just the person with the disease, but 15 to 18 other people in that person’s world. Consider a toy mobile that hangs over a crib. Move one piece and all other pieces must adjust to find some sort of equilibrium. This is what happens to those around an alcoholic/addict: everyone adjusts. The effects can be stressful, painful and interfere with daily life. No matter what happens to your alcoholic/addict, your life can be better. You can learn healthier ways to adjust. You don’t have to stay stuck in the pain, the craziness, or chaos. Call Lost and Found Ministry at 218-287-2089 to talk with a counselor, check out a book or DVD to help you find some peace during stressful times, or get info on an Al-Anon meeting. You deserve happiness, too.

Lost and Found Ministry 111 7th St. S., Moorhead 218-287-2089 www.lostandfoundministry.org

ASK A COUNSELOR Sheila Kapaun, LADC ShareHouse Counselor ShareHouse, Inc.

Q: A:

hat is Co-Dependency and how do I know W if I have it?

Co-Dependency is a set of beliefs, behaviors, and attitudes that can negatively impact your relationships as well as other areas of your life. To learn more about Co-Dependency and how it may be impacting your life, I would recommend talking to a counselor. ShareHouse has online resources at www.ShareHouse.org. Click on the “Ask A Counselor” link or you can call ShareHouse at 701-282-6561.

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YOUR FAMILY z food & fun

Heavenly Hot Chocolate

Kendall, Age 1

• ½ of a large (4.25 oz) Hershey’s Special Dark Chocolate Bar • ½ of a large (4.4 oz) Hershey’s Milk Chocolate Bar • 1 cup whole milk • 1 cup half and half • 2 tsps corn starch • 2 Tbsps sugar • 1 tsp vanilla extract • dash of kosher salt

Fingerprint

String of Lights • White paper • Washable paint (various colors) • Black marker Have your child dip his or her thumb in each color of paint individually and make random prints all over the white paper. Connect the thumbprints (lights) with a black marker. Be creative! There is no wrong way to do this, and you will have a keepsake of your child’s thumbprint. (Submitted by: Pre-Toddler 1 Room at Nokomis I)

PUZZLE PIECE snowflake

Pour the whole milk into a small bowl and set aside. Chop up the chocolate and put it into a small saucepan with the half and half. Warm the mixture over medium-low heat to melt the chocolate. Whisk occasionally until chocolate is completely melted. Next, whisk the corn starch into the whole milk, being careful to whisk away any clumps. Slowly add the whole milk mixture into the chocolate mixture and whisk gently to mix. Add the sugar. Keep stirring and heating until the mixture reaches a low simmer (do not boil). Remove from heat; add in vanilla and salt.

• Puzzle with smaller pieces (can be purchased at a thrift store or dollar store, or choose one from home you no longer use) • White acrylic paint • Sponge brush • Hot glue gun • Small paint brush • Clear-drying glue (we used a clear gel tacky glue) • Glitter Lay a handful of puzzle pieces onto your work surface. Dip sponge brush in white paint and dab onto the pieces, coating them completely. Let dry, and dab on another coat of paint. When completely dry, arrange 3 or 4 pieces on your work surface, allowing them to touch in the center or on the sides.

family

villagefamilymag.org

Arrange a few more pieces on top of those to create a two-layer snowflake. Remove top pieces individually and hot glue to pieces underneath. Once top pieces are glued on, squeeze some clear-drying glue onto a sheet of paper or in a disposable cup. Flip snowflake over and use small paint brush to coat the entire back with glue. This will help secure all pieces. Let dry. Flip over and repeat this step with the front of your snowflake, and while glue is still wet, generously sprinkle it with glitter. Shake off excess glitter, allow to dry, and attach ribbon or string to the back with hot glue for displaying. Be sure to wash your brushes with soap and water to remove paint and glue for reuse.

December/January 2015

YOUR FAMILY z words & wisdom Drop the stuff you can no longer afford to lug around. At sea level you can run with a brick in your backpack, but if you’re hiking on a mountain, that brick’s got to go. Similarly, most of us have some habits, indulgences, ideas, grudges or fixations that were kind of okay at one time, but now, with changing circumstances (such as juggling more balls, raising a family, aging), are wearing you down and really need to go. What’s your brick? What would you gain by emptying it out of your own backpack? —Rick Hanson, Ph.D.

I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month. —Harlan Miller Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. —Calvin Coolidge Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect. —Oren Arnold 46

December/January 2015

These Hands By O’Mara Dunnigan

Every once in a while when I look down I see my grandma’s hands It makes me tear up with pride Today these hands held my sick baby boy before the sun came up They cleaned spilled cereal, bubbles and a t‘ ea party’ They picked out my daughter’s clothes and clapped when she put them on all by herself These hands wrote emails, took phone calls and worked These hands made money These hands pushed my kids on their swing set, gave baths and made dinner These hands aren’t well manicured, they aren’t pretty and they will never be my grandma’s; but for a moment I feel connected

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family

WWE Superstar Roman Reigns and daughter Joelle

Take time to

be a dad today. fatherhood.gov 877-4DAD411

Our team just got

EVEN BETTER. Arveity Setty, MD

The region’s only Pediatric Sleep Expert is now at Sanford Children’s. A good night’s sleep is critical to a child’s health, happiness and school success. Arveity Setty, MD, has joined the largest pediatric team in the region to help children and teens get the sleep they need. Dr. Setty provides expertise in diagnosing and treating: • Snoring • Sleep walking • Night terrors • Insomnia • Sleep rhythm abnormality

Call (701) 234-3620 for an appointment. childrens.sanfordhealth.org 1200-31000-0099 10/14