VFM July 2012 by Vancouver Family Magazine

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Vancouver fa mily magazine

July 2012

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TEEN GIRLS & Self Esteem Guiding Girls through the Teen Years with Self Esteem Intact

PARANOID PARENTS

Why We Should Worry Less

NORTHWEST Taking Advantage of

SUMMER SAVINGS

Vacation:

OREGON CAVES NATIONAL MONUMENT Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

Healing

Happens Here LittLe mom meets big success at PeaceHealth Southwest Medical Center’s Family Birth Center

ose Delgado is a little mom with big boys. Rose has achondroplasia, a disorder of bone growth that causes the most common type of dwarfism. When she became pregnant with her first son, Miguel, now aged six, she looked for a Vancouver obstetrician with the right kind of expertise.

Joy Wiens, MD an OB/GYN physician at PeaceHealth Medical Group has experience with achondroplasia. “Dr. Wiens had this experience − that’s why I chose her, and boy was that the right decision,” said Rose. Dr. Wiens meticulously planned Miguel’s birth. However, baby had his own plans and Rose went into premature labor, causing complications for little Miguel. Fortunately, he was cared for by neonatology providers at PeaceHealth Southwest Medical Center’s NICU, who are on site 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Today, Miguel is healthy and happy. And, so is little brother, Mateo, also delivered by Dr. Wiens.

No small

Read more about Rose and discover more stories of healing at

HealingHappensHere.org

triumph rOSe DelGaDO, Vancouver Sons Miguel, 6 and Mateo, 3

FindYourDoctorright.com

tHe riGHt Care, riGHt Here. PeaceHealth Medical Group OB/GYN team offers complete prenatal and postnatal care. Our board certified physicians are trained in normal and high risk pregnancies with onsite 3D and 4D ultrasound services provided by PeaceHealth Southwest Maternal Fetal Medicine. The team is dedicated to being your partner during this exciting, life-changing experience.

Delivering Dreams .

Daily

To request an appointment, call or visit

FindYourDoctorright.com 360-514-1060 • 505 NE 87th Ave, Ste 160, Vancouver

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

OB/GYN

Vancouver Family Magazine â&#x20AC;˘ www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com â&#x20AC;˘ July 2012

contents

July ’12

FEATURE ARTICLES

Paranoid Parents Why we should worry less

Teen Girls and Self Esteem Helping teen girls with their biggest struggle: self esteem

Northwest Vacation: Oregon Caves National Monument Explore southern Oregon's unique and expansive marble caves

Paranoid Parents

IN EVERY ISSUE

Teen Girls & Self Esteem

Editor’s Notes

Dear Dana To love or to leave an unfaithful spouse?

Your Money's Worth Taking advantage of seasonal summer savings

Calendar of Events & Activities

Dear Dana

22 Northwest Vacation

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

ON THE WEB •

Enter for a chance to win one of (10) $20 gift cards to G6 Airpark

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"Fight Less, Love More" relationships column

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Local News

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6/19/12 Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 20122:56 PM 5

EDITOR'S NOTES

Letter to a Modern Youth Dear Nameless, Faceless, Genderless, Raceless Youth of Today,

You have a name, a face, a gender, a race. But no one of these characteristics defines you. You excel in school, you struggle in school. You get along fine with your parents, you don’t speak to your parents anymore, your parents aren’t around to speak to. You’re confident in your abilities, you wonder if you’ll ever be good enough.

Vancouver fa mily magazine Volume 11, Issue 7 Publisher

Julie Buchan julie@vancouverfamilymagazine.com (360) 882-7762 (office)

Editor

Nikki Klock nikki@vancouverfamilymagazine.com (360) 882-7762

Contributing Writers

Justin Farrell, Dana Greyson, Davi Nabors, Afton Nelson, Michele Ranard

Calendar Submissions

calendar@vancouverfamilymagazine.com

Cover Photo Submissions

Statistics tell me that half of your peers have had sex, half of them have tried a cigarette, and most of them have consumed alcohol. But, as anyone who is unlucky enough to confront a highly unlikely calamity will tell you, statistics don’t mean a thing. Or, more accurately, statistics shouldn’t mean a thing to you. So what if most of your friends are drinking, oftentimes with the help of legal adults who ought to be protecting them? So what if your friends are sexually active, during a time in life when you and they are still developing a personal identity, set of values, and life trajectory? You are more than a statistic, and sometimes being more means doing less; less of the things that you know won’t help you become the mother, father, doctor, entrepreneur, attorney, teacher, accountant, novelist, artist that you want to be.

coverkids@gmail.com

Vancouver Family Magazine is published monthly by Vancouver Kidz Magazine, LLC Address: PO Box 820264 Vancouver, WA 98682 Tel: 360-882-7762 Fax: 360-852-8171

Copyright 2002-2012. All rights reserved. No portion of Vancouver Family Magazine may be reproduced without the written permission from the publisher. Vancouver Kidz Magazine, LLC and staff do not recommend or endorse any service, product, or content represented in this magazine or on our website. The sole purpose of this publication is to provide information on available services and/or products. It is the consumer’s responsibility to verify the accuracy of information given. Vancouver Kidz Magazine, LLC , and/or Julie Buchan and Nikki Klock and staff do not assume and disclaim any liability to any party for any loss or damage caused by error or omission in this magazine or on our website. We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.

So start doing less of the wrong things today, and you will be more tomorrow than you ever dreamed possible. On the Cover: Kati just graduated from Union High School and is heading to college this fall. Nikki Klock, Editor nikki@vancouverfamilymagazine.com

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

Photo by Scarlette Richards at www.byscarlette.com

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ith over 58 years of service, The Women’s Clinic of Vancouver has established a strong reputable team of seasoned physicians and staff who exemplify the vision of providing compassionate and highly qualified health care services. All our physicians are trained surgeons and are members of the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology. PREGNANCY • PRENATAL/POSTNATAL • INFERTILITY GYN. CANCER SURGERY • CANCER SCREENING ADOLESCENT GYNECOLOGY• MENOPAUSE ISSUES IN OFFICE STERILIZATION PROCEDURES ROBOTIC SURGERY • URINARY INCONTINENCE PROCEDURES ULTRASOUNDS • BONE DENSITY SCREENING

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www.twcov.com Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

DEAR DANA

Insightful answers to tough questions.

Dear Dana, When my husband was taking yet another urgent late night job duty call, I had a look at his laptop. Based on the steamy emails between him and his boss, it looks a lot more like booty calls. I thought we had a good marriage. I haven’t told him yet, because I don’t know what I want. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom since our kids were born; our oldest is now 13. My husband makes decent money, but there’s always too much month at the end of the money. I’m not sure whom I can trust, but I can’t keep this to myself much longer. -Love Him or Leave Him?

Don’t air your dirty laundry You’re wise to hold off telling friends and family. If you decide to stay in your marriage, you’ll likely regret airing your intimate secrets. “Never use your children as confidants,” cautions Rosalind Sedacca, a divorce and parenting coach, and author of “How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce?” “Adultery is not a factor in how much Dad loves his children and isn’t grounds for punishing him and them by badmouthing Dad or keeping him from his kids. This is a tough concept to swallow, but it is in the best interest of the children.”

Dear Love Him or Leave Him, Affairs suck. The trust you had in your partner and the father of your children is shattered. Yet this is the time for total honesty all the way around. “Ninety-nine out of a hundred affairs are the offshoot of something already broken,” claims Charles Orlando, national dating and relationship expert and best-selling author of “The Problem with Women . . . is Men” (2008). You have three options 1. 2. 3.

If your marriage really is a good one, fight to save it. Give it your all. Make a clean break. Stay married, but suffer in silence or malice. This is the worst option; everybody loses.

What’s broken in your marriage, besides your husband’s affair? Can it be fixed? While the betrayal cannot be undone, marriages can survive, even thrive after an affair. Other marriages are not worth saving. Only you and your husband can decide what the best possible future is for your family. What are the odds of your success?

Cheating Statistics 41 percent

of spouses admit to marital infidelity, either physical or emotional

36 percent

of men and women admit to having an affair with a co-worker

31 percent

of marriages last after an affair has been admitted to or discovered

from the Associated Press, Journal of Marital and Family Therapy

continued on page 10 8

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

GYMNASTICS Naydenov

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ages two to adult. • Sunday Open Gym • Birthday• Parties Sunday Open Gym • Preschool Learning Center • Friday OpenPreschool! Gym Register for Fall • Friday Open Gym • Ballet, Jazz, Hip-Hop, Tap • Sleepovers • Sleepovers Tu & Th 9:15-11:45 •Ages 3-4yrs $100/mo. • Sat Parent’s Night Out Karate • Karate (Need to be• three by Aug 31st and potty trained) • Summer• Field Camps • Field Trips Trips M,W & F 9:15-11:45 Ages 4-5yrs $138/mo. (Need to be four by Aug 31st)

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Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

Dear Dana (contined)

continued from page 8 Instead, find a good counselor to help you figure out what you need. When you confront your husband, expect him to first deny the affair, and then blame you for it. Try to get past the hurt to understand the underlying issues, and make your needs clear, too. Make up or break up?

Top 5 reasons to stay:

Top 5 reasons to go:

Your spouse truly recognizes he or she has a problem, and is willing to get help to fix it, and to be accountable for rebuilding trust.

Your spouse is in denial, makes excuses, and blames you. This means he or she is invested in the cheating behavior, and not ready to change.

You two are going to counseling, and understanding why the affair happened, and how to fix the problems.

You have had it, no longer feel connected, and are not willing to work on it. Be sure this isn’t just temporary anger.

You're getting your own sex life back on track.

You are prepared to be on your own.

You have a long, shared history, joint finances, and family ties that make it worth keeping the marriage together.

You either have no children, they’re grown, or you’re certain a divorce will be better for them than what’s going on.

You still love each other, and it’s clearly mutual.

Your spouse refuses to give up the other relationship, or infidelity in general.

“What do you need to live on for a month (housing, utilities, food, gas, phone, children’s activities, etc.)? Who is paying the bills? Is his paycheck still going into the joint account where you both have access to the money? Running up debt on the credit card is not the answer because you will ultimately pay more,” Dockum adds. Lawyers, love and money “The court will take a blind eye to the behavior that ended the marriage—like your husband’s affair—and instead focus on an equitable division of property, liabilities and income. Spousal maintenance [alimony] is based upon need and ability to pay,” explains Vancouver attorney, Nancy Retsinas.

“The court will take a blind eye to the behavior that ended the marriage..." “As a stay-at-home-mom, you may receive spousal maintenance [alimony] to transition back into the work force. Child support is based upon a formula established by the state. The court would look at your husband’s needs as well, and not leave him in an unreasonably vulnerable financial position. It is almost inevitable that you’d both need to adjust your lifestyle. I guide my clients towards focusing on how they can meet their needs as they move into the future,” Retsinas counsels. Moving on, with or without him

Courtesy of “Dr. Romance,” Tina B.Tessina, PhD, psychotherapist and author of “Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage” (2008).

Taking time out If one of you moves out while you sort this out, agree on written ground rules first. Address finances, parental responsibilities, who will and won’t be told what, when and by whom, dating, and an action plan for what it will take to reconcile or divorce. Your situation is especially tricky as your husband has the added challenge of not biting the hand he’s been kissing—the same one who signs the paycheck that provides for your family.

This is your chance to decide how you will spend the rest of your life. Choose wisely, for yourself, and your children. Dana Greyson has conducted over a hundred couples mediations. Sometimes they stayed together; sometimes they parted more peacefully. She also co-founded “Second Saturday: What Women Need to Know About Divorce” Vancouver and Portland workshops, team-taught by an attorney, a financial planner, a counselor and a mediator.

You can’t just take the money and run “When going through this really difficult emotional time, make sure your money decisions take into account the big picture,” warns Angela Dockum, Vancouver-based Financial Advisor at Waddell and Reed.

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

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The Kohl’s Car Seat Community Outreach Program Learn how to properly install your child’s car seat.

What:

Why Car Seat Outreach? A properly used car seat reduces the risk of death by 71 percent for infants and 54 percent for toddlers. Yet studies show as much as 73 percent of car seats are incorrectly installed or do not fit the child properly. Together with Kohl’s and ACTS Oregon, the Tom Sargent Safety Center at OHSU Doernbecher is launching a yearlong car seat outreach program to help reduce the number of children exposed to improper car seat use. Each month, certified child passenger safety technicians will check car seats for correct installation, damage, recalls, and size/age appropriateness. Car seats are available due to a generous donation from Kohl’s. These events are free to the general public.

Bring your car seats in your family vehicle for inspection to ensure they are being used correctly and properly installed. Replacement car seats may be available to families, when deemed necessary. Proof of financial assistance, i.e. WIC, Oregon Health Plan etc. and valid Oregon ID are required.

Where:

Beaverton Kohl’s 11055 Southwest Canyon Rd., Beaverton

When:

Saturday, July 28, 2012, car seat check up 10 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Learn More!

To find out when and where a car seat check up event is happening in your community, please visit the OHSU Tom Sargent Children’s Safety Center website at www.ohsu.edu/childsafety or call 503 418-5666

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

YOUR MONEY'S WORTH

Your Money’s

WORTH

Read each month as Battle Ground mother, Davi Nabors, coaches us on the art of penny pinching.

Summer Savings by Davi Nabors

naturally

As spring rains finally bid their last farewells, warm summer days glisten with plenty of reasons to celebrate. Sunshine in the Northwest is a rare and precious commodity, and the months of July and August are perfect for taking advantage of every ray. Thanks to long sunny days, the light bulbs in our homes can take a well-deserved vacation. Turn power switches off, open window blinds, and let the sun shine in. Not only will your electric bill thank you, but natural light pouring into your living room can provide an incredible emotional boost. Feeling ambitious? Hang a clothesline near the house and dry freshly washed laundry in the warm summer breeze. The sweet smell of sun dried clothing is a treat in itself, but sunlight is also a natural sanitizing and bleaching agent and can effectively kill bacteria and other germs. By turning sunny days into regular “wash days,” you can also extend the life of the elastic in your britches while shrinking the bottom line on your power bill. Now is also the time to stock up on delectable berries, corn, herbs and other produce growing in abundance. Many of these treats freeze beautifully for use well after their growing season. According to the Washington State University Extension, (www.extension. wsu.edu), July and August are prime months for just about every berry that grows in this region. Blueberries, raspberries, tayberries, loganberries, strawberries, gooseberries, marionberries, boysenberries, and blackberries beg to be picked at local U-picks for a fraction of grocery store prices. Teeming with vitamins and antioxidants, these natural candies are just as pleasing to me as they are to my kids. Berries that escape fresh picked feeding frenzies can be easily preserved. Place individual berries on wax-paper lined cookie sheets to prevent them from sticking together and to the pan. Once frozen, pour them like ice cubes into freezer bags and store for use in smoothies, pancakes, muffins and jellies all year round. Another frugal tip: take just over-ripe bananas and peel, cut into half inch chunks, and freeze as you would the berries. Very ripe fruit is extra sweet, and when frozen, it’s a great alternative to ice cubes when continued on page 14

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

Local Farmers’ Markets Battle Ground Village (BGV) Outdoor Market BG Village Center Park Pavilion, SE 14th Loop, Battle Ground Open Saturdays in July, 9 am-2 pm. Fridays from August 3 through September 14, 3 pm – 7:30 pm www.bgvillage.com Camas Farmers’ Market In front of the Camas Library Open Wednesdays through October 10, 3 pm to 7:30 pm www.camasfarmersmarket.org Ridgefield Farmers’ Market Downtown in Davis Park, near the corner of Main and Mill Streets Open Saturdays through October 6, 9 am to 2 pm www.ridgefieldmarket.com Salmon Creek Farmers’ Market Behind the Wayside Market, Shell Station and Biscuits Cafe’ on the south side of NE 134th Street Open July 12 through Sept. 27, 3 pm to 7 pm www.salmoncreekfarmersmarket.com Vancouver Farmers’ Market 6th & Esther St. Downtown Vancouver USA Open Saturdays 9 am – 3 pm and Sundays 10 am – 3 pm, through October 28 www.vancouverfarmersmarket.com/

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Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

Your Money's Worth: Summer Savings Naturally (continued)

Visit our website at:

VancouverFamilyMagazine.com for more great resources

• Family Fun Activities and Programs • Contests • Online Articles • Local News & Resources More Calendar Events • Blog • E-Newsletter • Read Each Issue Online • Follow us on Facebook and Twitter

continued from page 12

blending frozen smoothies. When your kids tire of drinking smoothies, try pouring the healthy mixture into freezer molds and serve them as homemade popsicles. While U-picks are a fabulous resource for inexpensive produce and fun family field trips, local farmers’ markets are just as appealing and require less manpower. Eclectic displays of produce (not to mention flowers, plants and arts and crafts) provide endless inspiration for culinary creativity and offer the freshest of fresh from the closest of farms. Their price and selection of organic produce can’t be beat, and for those looking to grow a garden of their own, farmers’ markets often sell interesting varieties of herb and veggie starts. By the way, basil, chives, cilantro, dill, lavender, parsley, rosemary, sage, tarragon and thyme are in their prime in July, August, and September. Whether grown in an outdoor garden or in pots on a kitchen window sill, frugal gourmets can save a bunch by using homegrown herbs to enhance the flavor of any dish. Davi Nabors is a married mother of two boys.

Helpful Hints According to Clark Public Utilities, a freezer works more efficiently when kept full. (That’s one more reason to pack it full of frozen fruits and veggies.) Milk jugs partially filled with water can be stored in the freezer to fill up space, if needed.

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

Shopping Tips Throughout the summer, keep a cooler in the back of your car for transporting cold or perishable purchases. When stored with a frozen bag of veggies or a couple of icy water bottles, you’ll buy yourself a little extra time to drive home in the heat without groceries going bad.

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Clark County Family YMCA 11324 NE 51st Circle 360.885.9622 www.ymcacw.org Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

Feature Article: Paranoid Parenting: Why We Should Worry Less

Paranoid Parenting Why We Should Worry Less

by Michele Ranard, M.Ed. If you’re a typical parent, you may worry about your kids. A lot. You may feel overwhelmed at times with so many fearful messages that the world is an unfriendly place for children. Maybe you feel justified in your worrying. But are you? What We Worry About Melissa Edwards, Vancouver mother of three, says worrying sometimes affects her ability to make decisions. “I worry so much about doing the wrong thing, that I find it hard to make choices,” she says. “My husband always tells me ‘It is better to make a choice and be wrong and learn from it, rather than not make choices at all.’»

Vancouver mother of four, Jamie McKell, sometimes tends to imagine the worst. “Every time one of the kids runs off at the store there is always that lurking fear that something happened to them . . . maybe I watch too many cop shows where I see episode after episode of reasons not to trust strangers.” According to a recent survey by the Mayo Clinic, the top five worries for parents are: 1. Kidnapping 2. School snipers 3. Terrorists 4. Dangerous strangers 5. Drugs Real Concerns Christie Barnes, a mother of four and author of “The Paranoid Parents Guide” (2010) says far too often as parents we overestimate the potential for rare dangers and underestimate the potential for common ones. Based on statistics, the top five common dangers are: 1. Car accidents 2. Homicide (usually committed by a person who knows the child, not a stranger) 3. Abuse 4. Suicide 5. Drowning Why So Paranoid? Barnes says parents fixate on horrific and atypical events in the news without considering the odds it will happen to their families. The author would like to see statistics scrolling at the bottom of the TV screen indicating the actual likelihood of any given tragedy occurring. The problem is when we’re focused on the wrong dangers, we may be distracted from those that truly matter.

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

continued on page 18

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Summer is here! Have fun and play it safe. From summertime safety to sports helmet sales and car safety seat checks, learn more at: www.legacyhealth.org/safetyprograms

Our legacy is yours.

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www.legacyhealth.org/kidsonly Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

Feature Article: Paranoid Parenting: Why We Should Worry Less (continued) continued from page 16

We’re distracted because: 1. We don’t have the facts. We sometimes get a distorted picture of the world because of a fear-based culture reinforcing over-spending, over-protecting, over-parenting, and over-worrying behaviors. 2. We’re tuned into fear. We worry about the wrong things because we are tuned into fear, not facts. Constant fear creates fearful children, and Barnes says, “Parents need to focus on what really does happen and not what could happen but probably won’t.” 3. We’re stressed and tired. “Stress management is as important as worry management,” writes Barnes. Parenting is a tough gig, and when we’re fatigued we’re more vulnerable to worry.

"There is a lot to smile about, parents!"

4. Worrying more doesn’t mean you love your child more. “We’re kind of fooling ourselves to think that all this research and all this worry we’re doing is actually love.” 5. Worrying often expresses itself as nagging, which sours your relationship with your child.

Worrying Doesn’t Benefit You or Them When we worry too much, we may cause our kids to feel uncertain and dependent. Barnes wants parents to face what she refers to as the five ugly truths about worrying. 1. Worries are not safety shields. “If you worry ‘enough’ your child will not be protected by an invisible force field.” 2. Worry does not appease the worry god.

Less Paranoid Parenting “The Paranoid Parents Guide” encourages parents to practice what Barnes terms “positive parenting” since “parenting is stressful enough without confusion about doing the right thing.” Consider these tips culled from her guide: •

Face the facts. There is a lot to smile about, parents! Crime, homicide, abuse, and kidnapping are down (abuse is a greater threat from family and friends than strangers). When we are tuned into facts, not fear, we teach our kids to not be afraid of the world which is a boon for them now and in the long run.

•

Be less overprotective. Barnes says overprotecting ultimately harms kids by making them less resilient. We don’t want to teach them to be helpless or too dependent.

•

Insist on helmets and seatbelts. Although it sounds like simple advice, Barnes says it’s the best way to reduce the chance of your kids’ death by 90 percent and the chance of serious injury by 78 percent!

3. Worry in itself is passive and does nothing to solve the problem.

In the end, a healthy dose of worrying is instinctive, and ultimately beneficial to our kids. Jamie McKell is at peace with the balance she’s found between neglect and overprotection. “We all have experiences in life that help focus how we parent.” For more helpful positive parenting advice, visit www. paranoidparentsguide.com. Michele Ranard has a husband, two children, and a master’s degree in counseling. 18

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

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Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

Feature Story: Beyond the Eye Roll: Teen Girls & Self Esteem

Beyond the Eye Roll Teen Girls & Self Esteem By Justin Farrell Eye roll, hair flip, “Whatever.” If these three things are occurring inner self and to build a foundation that can weather the storm of in your home more frequently than lather, rinse, repeat, chances hormonal upheavals, first break-ups, and speech class. It is not are you are living with a teenage girl. As our teen girls challenge new news that the images they are subjected to are unrealistic us in ways we thought only happened in movies or to other and unobtainable. However, these messages still find their way parents, how can we as parents, counselors, coaches, teachers, into the subconscious minds of impressionable youth. These and mentors help them navigate the ups and downs of these messages are some of the primary factors that undermine a girl’s years to become the upstanding women we know they can be? sense of self and worth to society.” The key to answering this question is knowing what’s behind the eye roll Kim Anthony, a married mother of three “The only ones who are going to girls and the head varsity softball coach and identifying the area where teen girls tend to struggle the most: their Skyview High School agrees. “Young see themselves reflected on TV at self-esteem. girls are influenced so much by the media or on a magazine cover are the and social media,” she says. “The only Casey Claypool, a Vancouver mental ones who are going to see themselves skinny, beautiful ones.” health therapist and child mental reflected on TV or on a magazine cover health specialist, suggests one are the skinny, beautiful ones.” She cause to the low self-esteem also notes the power of the family in epidemic is due to the way the media portrays women. She influencing girls’ self-esteem, “So many broken homes equals explains, “Within the majority of teen culture, there has not some broken parents who struggle to make ends meet and don’t been much of an emphasis on inner-beauty and service to the have the time to spend with their kids. That missing time can community; rather, the culture highly emphasizes the importance leave holes in some young girls’ lives, causing them to feel they of outer appearance, sexuality, competition, and conformity. are not good enough.” Claypool agrees that parents play a vital You can see evidence of this on the role in helping girls learn how to value themselves beyond just cover of gossip magazines, the their looks. “Parents need to be OK with who they are and set character quality in reality a good example. Nothing undermines a child’s self-confidence television, and the lyrical more than a parent’s own lack of self-confidence. Oftentimes content in top-40 radio. parent’s best intentions can backfire when they spend too much Clearly this is not the only time focusing on their kids while neglecting their own well-being. factor in the struggle for Parents can set a good example by responsibly taking care of teen self-worth. This their own body, mind, and spirit.” really is a systemic problem. With the With so much talk about the challenges of having low selfadvent of Facebook and esteem, what can be done to help our girls feel better about smartphones, girls are themselves? Claypool notes that, “We need a better awareness now encouraged to post of how media affects us. We can help girls by teaching them pictures, comment, and to tune in to how certain media affects how they feel about gossip about each other. It themselves and the world around them. Our kids are being is common and seemingly programmed to mimic what they are seeing on TV shows such culturally acceptable to as ‘Jersey Shore’ and the Kardashians.” objectify themselves and each other through As a parent and coach, Anthony has a dual role in helping girls. these modes. If we She states, “As a coach, I try to create an environment of hard are to evolve beyond work along with good relationships. I emphasize not being out this societal struggle, worked by our opponents. I believe a lot of pride comes from we must encourage working hard and controlling our work ethic and attitudes. I want and teach our young them to realize how much of their life they create. Otherwise they girls to develop their tend to place blame and make excuses, which doesn’t lead to a

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

continued on next page

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healthy place. As a parent, I try to remind them often of how proud I am, how beautiful they are, etc. Not just after a game winning hit, but even after failure. When I see them be kind to a teammate or have a good battle against a tough pitcher. Society only sees success in the end result and not in the journey. I try and let them experience both the ups and downs of their journey, and that they know they are loved no matter what.” Our girls have an uphill battle to face due to the power of the media, and their peers. However, this power can be swayed back in a positive direction with the right guidance, love, and support from those who care the most about girls: the adults in their lives. Even if our support is met with eye rolls and hair flips, deep down inside there is an emerging, confident young woman who will be forever grateful for how she was supported during her teen years. And if karma has its way, which it usually does, our daughters will all be blessed with daughters of their own some day. Justin Farrell is a Vancouver married father of two. He has decided that if his daughter ever ends up on “Jersey Shore,” there will be a new definition of The Situation. He is a licensed independent clinical social worker and a child mental health specialist. He writes a blog that can be found at: courageousvancouverdad.wordpress.com.

Discussion Questions: Discussion questions to ask teen girls regarding the impact of media and advertising on their self-esteem:

1) Do you ever feel bad about yourself for not owning something? 2) Have you ever felt that people might like you more if you owned a certain item? 3) Has an ad make you feel that you would like yourself more, or that others would like you more if you owned the product the ad is selling? 4) Do you worry about your looks? Have you ever felt that people would like you more if your face, body, skin or hair looked different? 5) Has an ad ever made you feel that you would like yourself more, or others would like you more, if you changed your appearance with the product the ad was selling? Adapted from the Media Awareness Network as found in Dr. Anita Gurian’s article, “How to Raise Girls with Healthy Self-esteem.”

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

Feature Story: Northwest Vacation: Oregon Caves National Monument

Northwest Vacation:

Oregon Caves National Monument By Afton Nelson

In 1874, Elijah J. Davidson Jr. was hunting in the Siskiyou Mountains of Southern Oregon when he heard the frantic barks of his dog, mixed with the angry growls of a bear. Davidson followed the barks and growls right up to a hill of what he thought was solid rock; somehow, the noise was coming from inside. That’s when he noticed a small opening. With only a hunting knife and a few matches, Davidson crawled through the hole to save his dog. The further into the cave he ventured, the further away the barks and growls became. Three hours later, Davidson eventually found his dog, safe and sound, waiting for him outside. But what he’d also found, was a breathtaking cave, full of other worldly marble formations, hundreds of

Photo of "Joaquin Miller's Chapel" by Shawn Thomas

Photo of Cave Entrance by Derek Marohn

thousands of years in the making: stalactites, stalagmites, columns and stunning drapery formations. Several years later, Poet of the Sierras, Joaquin Miller would call it, “The Wondrous Marble Halls of Oregon.” Today, a visit to Oregon Caves National Monument is just over five hours south of Vancouver, Washington; a bit of a drive, but well worth the trip. Knowledgeable rangers lead three different tours into the cool caverns which stay a constant 44°F regardless of the temperature outside. So be sure to bring a coat and some good walking shoes for your visit. General Tour A 90-minute General Tour covers the history and science of the cave and costs $8.50 for adults 17 years and older, and $6 for youth 16 and younger. Because the tour is moderately strenuous, children must be over 42 inches in height to enter the caves. Some of the passages are narrow and require stooping to avoid a bump to the head. Visitors on the General Tour will also need to climb stairs; the equivalent of a 20-story building. But since the tour is spread out over an hour and a half, the only time you might find yourself out of breath is when you stand in awe of the columns of Miller’s Chapel, or gasp at the beauty of the draperies in Paradise Lost. Off-Trail Adventure If you’re looking for a bit more of a challenge, sign up for the Off-Trail Adventure tour for $30 per person. Rangers will provide you with coveralls, which will keep most of the mud off, as you crawl on your hands and knees and wiggle through narrow passageways. The three-hour experience is

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

continued on page 24

Summer fun at Toys • Books • Games 13503 SE Mill Plain #B-3 Vancouver, WA 98684 360-823-0123

www.kazoodlestoys.com 9:30-7 Monday-Saturday noon-4 Sundays

Celebrating

Storytime 10:30 a.m. every Tuesday Playshop 11 a.m. every Wednesday Crafternoon 3-5 p.m. every Thursday

10 Years

A Decade of Strengthening Community Vancouver Family Magazine is celebrating 10 years of serving Southwest Washington families

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One of (10) $20 gift cards to G6 Airpark See www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com/contests.html to enter and for complete rules.

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Contest ends July 27, 2012, 9:00pm PDT. Must be 18 or older to enter. Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

Feature Story: Northwest Vacation: Oregon Caves National Monument (continued)

continued from page 22

perfect for people 15-years-old and older who want a safe, but exciting introduction to spelunking. Tours take place Friday, Saturday and Sunday throughout the summer. Candlelight Tour For visitors who want to see the cave as the first visitors did back in the early 1900s, the Candlelight Tour will provide a unique experience exploring the caverns with wooden candle lanterns. Candlelight tours are offered Friday and Saturday at 6:30 p.m. throughout the summer. Make sure you check the online calendar before your trip to confirm the tour you want will be available during your visit. Above-Ground Adventures Once you’ve explored the cave, there are plenty of aboveground adventures to be had as well. Several trails provide easy to challenging hikes for all levels. The No Name Trail takes hikers about a mile past the visitor’s center through lush, verdant forest, and past a rushing stream with several small waterfalls. The Big Tree Trail Loop is just over three miles long and brings hikers past the largest girth Douglas fir tree in Oregon. For stunning views of the Siskiyous, hike the Lake Mountain trail to Mt. Elijah’s 6,391 foot summit.

Photo of "Paradise Lost" by David Albright

The Chateau offers two dining options. The Coffee Shop is a vintage 1930s diner with the original S-shaped lunch counter. The only things in the Coffee Shop that’s been updated are the kitchen appliances and the menu prices. Open for breakfast and lunch (it closes at 5 p.m.), a one-third pound Cave Burger will cost about $8 and a signature, super-thick shakes costs $6.50, comes in a dozen flavors, and is big enough to be split and still fill up two hungry explorers.

Photo by National Park Service Accommodations The Chateau at the Oregon Caves is just steps from the cave entrance and visitor’s center. Built in 1934 using local materials like marble, pine and Douglas fir, the Chateau has retained its historic beauty and charm. You might still find some of the original Monterey-style furniture throughout the 23 guest rooms. What you won’t find, however, is a television, Wi-Fi, or cell-phone service. So bring a book to cozy up with in front of the fire after a fun day of exploring. Or enjoy playing chess, or one of the other games provided to guests in the library. 24

Poet Joaquin Miller called Oregon Caves “The Wondrous Marble Halls of Oregon.”

The dining room offers more upscale fare with entrees from $20 to $30 and is open for dinner, reservations recommended. The two restaurants at the Chateau are the only options for food service at the cave, and for 20 miles around. The next closest restaurants are an hour drive down the mountain in Cave Junction. If camping is your thing, Cave Creek Campground is closest continued on next page

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

We are pleased to announce Evergreen Pediatric Clinic’s new office in the Salmon Creek area New location in the Legacy Salmon Creek Medical Office Building. We will continue to offer the same excellent care at our current location near Southwest Washington Medical Center.

continued from previous page

to the caves, is fairly private, and has a 1.8 mile trail leading to the monument. However, there are no flush toilets at Cave Creek. Grayback Campground is a little farther from the caves, but has flush toilets and a swimming hole. Visitors can reserve a spot at Greyback Campground online, but Cave Creek is first come, first served. Both campgrounds are on State Route 46, which leads through the Illinois Valley wine country on its way up to the national monument.

Resources National Park Service Oregon Caves: www.nps.gov/orca/index.htm Chateau at the Oregon Caves: www.oregoncaveschateau.com Cave Tour Calendar for 2012: www.nps.gov/orca/planyourvisit/upload/2012-cave-tourcalendar.pdf

Of all the caves in the world, only 5 percent are marble, which makes Oregon Caves National Monument even more of a treasure. If you’re looking for a great weekend getaway, this is one that will not disappoint. Afton Nelson is a local mom who loves exploring the Northwest with her three boys.

Photo of The Marble Halls of Oregon by Larry Owen

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

CALENDAR OF EVENTS & ACTIVITIES continued from page 26

Calendar

July ‘12

S M T W T F S 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 Events are subject to change. Please contact organization directly to confirm. All library events are free and open to the public. All Library events are free and open to the public. 3 Tuesday Café Learn and Play. Free storytelling, songs and ABC’s for ages 5 and under every Tuesday at Café Sip ‘n’ Play, 3000 SE 164th Ave., Vancouver. 10 am Rock’n Roll Kindy at Three Creeks Community Library. Be a rock star with Mo Phillips by singing songs you know, learning crazy new ones, and writing a couple of tunes from scratch. 11 am Kazoodles Toys Stories and Songs for Preschoolers. Free every Tuesday at 13503 SE Mill Plain Blvd. #B-3, Vancouver. 10:30 am 4 Wednesday Independence Day at Fort Vancouver. A Clark County tradition! Food vendors, live music, Sing Fourth Teen Vocal Competition, historic demonstrations, kids’ parade, arts and crafts vendors, handson-history tent, and more. General admission: $5 in advance, $7 at the gate. Kids age 12 and under are free. More information at 4th.fortvan.org. Gates open at 8 am, fireworks

of events

activities

Have a community event that you want to share? Calendar event submissions can be sent to calendar@vancouverfamilymagazine. com, or call us at 360-882-7762. Submissions are due on the 5th of the month prior to publication.

launch at 10:05 pm Go Fourth Festival in Longview (various locations in town). Kids’ festival, food and craft vendors, pancake breakfast, parade, and kids’ races. Visit www. gofourthfestival.org for schedule and details. Festivities start at 8 am, fireworks start at 10 pm 5 Thursday Angel Ocasio Variety Show at Three Creeks Community Library. One-man physical comedy, jokes, juggling, and audience participation. 11 am Mad Science at Cascade Park Community Library. Engaging, high-energy mad scientists spark imaginative learning. 11 am Puckett Family Magic at Battle Ground Community Library. This family provides a dynamic magic and illusion show. 11 am Riverview Six to Sunset Concert Series at Esther Short Park. Free live music, food vendors on site. Visit www.cityofvancouver. us/concerts for schedule. 6-8 pm 6 Friday W-Family free family activities first and third Friday of each month at Westfield Vancouver Mall, lower level in front of Old Navy. 11 am-12 pm Movies in the Park. Watch “School of Rock” starring Jack Black free on the big screen at

Esther Short Park. Movie starts at dusk. 7 Saturday Home Depot Kids’ Workshop. Free hands-on, “how-to” craft workshops designed for kids ages 5-12. First Saturday of each month at 8601 NE Andresen Rd., Vancouver. 9 am12 pm Soar with Books on the first Saturday of each month at Pearson Air Museum, 1115 E 5th St., Vancouver. Includes an ageappropriate tour of the museum, an airplane story read beneath the wings of a historic aircraft, and a craft project. Museum admission applies. Children under age 6 are admitted for free. Admission for students ages 6 to 17, seniors or active military with ID is $5. Adult admission is $7. For more information, contact Pearson Air Museum at 360-6947026 or visit www.pearsonairmuseum.org 10 am Bubble Festival at Three Creeks Community Library. It’s a bubble bonanza with big bubbles, baby bubbles, and a bubble craft or two. 2 pm 10 Tuesday Café Learn and Play. Storytelling every Tuesday at Café Sip ‘n’ Play. (See July 3) 10 am Kazoodles Toys Stories and Songs for Preschoolers. (See

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

Check out our website for even m ore local even ts.

July 3) 10:30 am Paradise of Samoa at Three Creeks Community Library. Enjoy traditional dances from the Pacific Islands. 11 am Creature Feature at Ridgefield Community Library. Live reptiles, and other amazing animals to observe and learn about. 2 pm 11 Wednesday Tears of Joy Puppet Theater at the library. Two performances: La Center Community Library 10:30 am, Woodland Community Library 2 pm Tea Party Playshop at Kazoodles Toys, 13503 SE Mill Plain Blvd. #B-3, Vancouver. Pinkies up! Wear your fancy clothes and join us for a tea party. Limit 12 kids. Please call 360-823-0123 to register. $2 per child. 11 am Terry Lee, Attorney Noon Hour Concert Series and Science in the Park at Esther Short Park. Enjoy live music from local bands, and free science crafts and activities from the Water Resources Education Center. 12-1 pm Steve Taylor at Washougal Community Library. Laugh along with Steve and ventriloquist dummy Rudy O’Riley as they celebrate reading in all cultures. 2 pm Creature Feature at Vancouver continued on page 28

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Calendar of Events & Activities continued from page 26 Mall Community Library. Live reptiles, and other amazing animals to observe and learn about. 3 pm 12 Thursday Mad Science at Three Creeks Community Library. Engaging, high-energy mad scientists spark imaginative learning. 11 am Steve Taylor at Cascade Park Community Library. Laugh along with Steve and ventriloquist dummy Rudy O’Riley as they celebrate reading in all cultures. 11 am Riverview Six to Sunset Concert Series at Esther Short Park. (See July 5) 6-8 pm Creature Feature at Battle Ground Community Library. Live reptiles, and other amazing animals to observe and learn about. 6:30 pm 13 Friday Movies in the Park. Watch “Jurassic Park” free on the big screen at Esther Short Park. Movie starts at dusk. 14 Saturday Stewardship Saturday community service day at Columbia Springs, 12208 SE Evergreen Hwy, Vancouver. All volunteers are welcome. Kids under 14 with parental supervision and teens under 16 with parental permission. Snacks and tools provided. Please bring sturdy shoes, appropriate outdoor work clothing, a water bottle, and your enthusiasm for helping the community! To signup or for more information, email volunteer@columbiasprings. org. For more information on Columbia Springs, visit www. columbiasprings.org. 9 am-1 pm Friends of the Three Creeks Library Book Sale. Browse among thousands of books at unbeatable prices: $.50 for paperbacks; $1.00 for hardcovers. 10 am-5 pm

Second Saturdays at the Water Resources Education Center, 4600 SE Columbia Way, Vancouver. Each second Saturday of the month, kids and their families are invited to explore a different topic through hands-on activities, games and stories. July theme: Celebrate summer with bubble fun. Kids and their families will enjoy hands-on activities as they learn all about bubbles. Children must be accompanied by a parent or guardian. 1-3 pm 17 Tuesday Café Learn and Play. Storytelling every Tuesday at Café Sip ‘n’ Play. (See July 3) 10 am Kazoodles Toys Stories and Songs for Preschoolers. (See July 3) 10:30 am Steve Taylor at Three Creeks Community Library. Laugh along with Steve and ventriloquist dummy Rudy O’Riley as they celebrate reading in all cultures. 11 am Presto the Magician at Ridgefield Community Library. 2 pm 18 Wednesday Rock ‘n’ Roll Kindy at the library. Two performances: La Center Community Library 10:30 am, Woodland Community Library 2 pm Pop Bottle Science Playshop at Kazoodles Toys, 13503 SE Mill Plain Blvd. #B-3, Vancouver. What can you learn from a pop bottle? Lots! Join in the experimental fun. Space is limited. Please call 360-8230123 to register. $2 per child. 11 am

observe and learn about. 3 pm OMSI Amazing Whales activity at Vancouver Mall Community Library. 3 pm 19 Thursday Angel Ocasio Variety Show at Battle Ground Community Library. One-man physical comedy, jokes, juggling, and audience participation. 11 am OMSI React-o-blast family activity at Cascade Park Community Library. 11 am The Reptileman at Three Creeks Community Library. A traveling collection of scaled predators presented with unique insights, observations and humor. 11 am Riverview Six to Sunset Concert Series at Esther Short Park. (See July 5) 6-8 pm 20 Friday Battle Ground Harvest Days in Old Town Battle Ground (east Main St.). Food vendors, parade, fun run, and more. More information at www.battlegroundchamber.org. Instruments of the Now at Three Creeks Community Library. A uniquely amazing outdoor performance including fire dancing, magic and more! 7 pm Movies in the Park. Watch the Disney film “Wall-E” free on the big screen at Esther Short Park. Movie starts at dusk. 21 Saturday

Terry Lee, Attorney Noon Hour Concert Series and Science in the Park at Esther Short Park. (See July 11) 12-1 pm

Camas History 6km or 10km Walk at Zion Lutheran Church, 824 NE 4th Ave., Camas. Free to the public, sponsored by All Weather Walkers. Visit www. allweatherwalkers.org for more information. Start anytime between 8 am-1 pm, finish by 4 pm

Creature Feature at Washougal Community Library. Live reptiles, and other amazing animals to

Clark County Rural Heritage Fair at Schurman’s Iron Ranch, 23100 NE 10th Ave., Ridgefield.

Sponsored by the Fort Vancouver Antique Equipment Association, this event will travel back in time to showcase vintage tractors, steam and gas engines, farm and logging equipment, fire apparatus, cars and trucks, toys and household Items. See live blacksmith demonstrations, a tractor pull and tractor parade, enjoy food, crafts and collectibles at a Swap Meet and free games for the kids. Admission is $7 adults, children 10 and under free. For more information, call 360-6931201. 8 am-5 pm Family Work Party at the Water Resources Education Center, 4600 SE Columbia Way, Vancouver. Bring the kids and help preserve and restore wetlands or clean the beach. Dress for the weather; equipment and training provided. 9:30-11:30 am Battle Ground Harvest Days Parade. Also enjoy food vendors, fun run, and more throughout the weekend. More information at www.battlegroundchamber.org. 10 am Fire in the Park fundraiser for Share Vancouver at Esther Short Park. Chili Cookoff, Kids’ Zone, fire truck display, live music, and more. Admission is free. 12-9 pm Vintage Baseball at Fort Vancouver. This gloveless game is played by 1860s rules. Bring a picnic and root for your favorite team. The 1st Oregon Volunteers will challenge the Vancouver town team on the Parade Ground. 6-8 pm 22 Sunday Battle Ground Harvest Days in Old Town Battle Ground (east Main St.). Food vendors, parade, fun run, and more. More information at www.battlegroundchamber.org. 24 Tuesday Café Learn and Play. Storytelling every Tuesday at continued on page 30

Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • July 2012

Admission ONLY $1

TUESDAYS, WEDNESDAYS & THURSDAYS AT 10am Regal Cinema Stadium 11 • 9010 NE Hwy 99 Vancouver, Wa 98665 • (360) 571-0984 Date Selected G or PG Films @ 10AM June 19 & 20

Kit Kittredge : American Girl (G)

Journey 2 (PG)

June 26 & 27

Dolphin Tale (PG)

Happy Feet Two (PG)

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’hoole (PG)

Yogi Bear (PG)

Cats and Dogs: Revenge of Kitty Galore (PG)

Hugo (PG)

July 17 & 18

Adventures of Tin Tin (PG)

Puss in Boots (PG)

July 24 & 25

Kung Fu Panda 2 (PG)

Rango (PG)

Rio (G)

Spy Kids 4 (PG)

Chimpanzee (G)

Hoodwinked 2 (PG)

Aug 14 & 15

Arthur Christmas (PG)

Smurfs (PG)

Aug 21 & 22

Alvin and the Chipmunks: ChipWrecked (G)

Mr. Popper's Penguins (PG)

July 3 & 4 July 10 &11

July 31 & Aug 1 Aug 7 & 8

Kids Meals Available - $5.75 Seating is Limited Go to www.REGmovies.com for More Information