UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO STUDENT NEWSPAPER
MARCH 11, 2005
VOL 27, NO 30
IMPRINT. UWATERLOO.CA
Allegations fly as referendum looms Alex Doukas
a strange way to represent the figure at a co-op university," he said, considemgthe fee to be $4.75 for each Ye.s or no? The answer may not be so four-month term. simple in an upcoming referendum Weber responded, saying "The on the $4.75 per-term refundable fee wording we have now is basically our UW students pay to the Waterloo. attempt to make it devoid of any Public Interest Research Group. Stem- ideology, show the cost of the fee ming from a petition set in motion over an academic year and to have the lastNovemberbyNicWeber,a2Barts yes side of the question." and business student, the referendum Weber says that the group behind is slated for March 28 and 29. thereferendum campaign, called The While both sides of the referen- Yes Team, is not pushing a personal dum battle for public influence, they issue, but intends "to further deagree on one thing: every word counts mocracy at the University of Waterin the debate over WPIRG funding. 100." WPIRG staff member Daryl Novak ''The CUttent WPIRG funding fortakes issue with the referendum's pre- mula is tantamount to the Salvation amble: ''Nk and friends have not been Army coming to your house every telling people our fee is refundable." four months, taking all yourcilltbing Novak路 insists that WPIRG is not and giving}'ou thtee"v.ks tOtQme oppo~cd't;; it referendum, but that to their otli.ce "ith a m.:u.klUQM ami. . .. eLWise youlos~ all of ebetlaid~<>tb . occur an how the questions are worded. Operating since i 973, \~'PIRG, The preamble reads, "Currently each the Waterloo PublicInterest Resean:h full rime undergraduate University of Group,is Waterloo's 10calPIRG. It Waterloo student pays $9.50 for every is one of more than 120 PIRGs in eight-month academic year to Water- North America and also one of11 in loo Public Interest Research Group Ontario. (wpIRG)." Novak also suggested that the $9.50 figure is misleading. "This is See REFERENDUM, page 5. SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
University lab fire exceeds $1 million in damages Carla Sandham IMPRINT STAFF
Saeed UlHaq expects to graduate next December, but now it could be years before he gets his PhD after a fire in a UW lab destroyed years' worth of re-
search. The high-voltage lab at Carl Pollock
CARLA SANDHAM
Years worth of research and hard work were lost after a fire hit Carl A. Polloek Hall on Monday night.
Hall (CPH) went up in smoke early Mondaymoming. An investigation is being conducted, but a cause was undetermined at press time. "We've narrowed it down to the electrical experiment on high-voltage insulation," said Keith O'Leary, fire investigator from the fire marshal's office. But the cause may not be found as mounds of plastic and soot is all that remains. Damageis estimated at more than $1 million for the state-of-the-art equipment, with another $150,000 in smoke and soot damage. O'Leary said the fire quickly spread from the experiment to the walls and ceiling, while smoke and heat damage migrated throughoutthearea. He added that a sprinkler or suppression system would have helped contain the fire. To assist in his investigation on
Wednesday, O'Learytookselected persons into the lab to seethe damage and to have them explain how the equipment operated. Ul Haq and other graduate students paced nervously in front of the lab waiting for a chance to see the charred remnants of their experiments. ''We are blind here," said UI Haq, who doesn't know whether or not his experiment was damaged. "It took me nine months to set it up." Prof Shesha Jayararn, whose research on high-voltage insulation is one ofthe major focuses ofthe lab, said there are six graduate students who may have to start over. But Ul Haq, who is in his fifth term at UW, saidifhe is forced to restart, he will. "I have to if I want my PhD," he said, addingitwould be easier to setup the second time because he knows what to expect. Many experiments in the lab have beenongoingforyears. While much of the research has been documented, one machine logged its own data. It is feared that if the machine is not salvageable,its research will be lost forthis experiment. Despite the unique nature ofthclab'sequipment,Jayaram saidit
could all be replaced. "It will be very expensive and will take a long time because some of the equipment was not even manufactured in North America," she added. Contractors have been on site all week restoring rooms at CPH on a priority basis. Everything is back to normal except for the lab and a string of student offices above the lab. The smell of smoke still lingers in the hallways but Dan Loosemore, project manager at Woodhouse Contracting Ltd., said it is not harmful. Between and 60 conttactors have been on site doing clean up and have placed fans throughout the buildingto purify the air. The lab, which must be stripped down to its original cement construction, will berebuiltin the comingmonths.Loosemore said construction could take about three months. ''There will be a lot oflate nights," said Loosemore, adding most of the workwill be done after business hours to minimize disruption at CPH. But restoring the lab to its original grandeur and \\.>ith all of its unique equipment could take years, said J ayaram.
so
csandham@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
fiR UPTlIlTE EVERT USDIIS 1111118RE
C1ll88H1J42 IIIISn_.FEDS.CI
bld_il SIUD
clash slunPs
......... 5"'" 1111/ pnml111S [11P
3
FRIDAY. MARCH 11, 2005
nyoowere aI.echaon, where woold yoo hide your pot of gold?
"Between your mom's legs so that only I can get at it." JP Rodriguez 3B history
At Fed Hall because nobody goes there." Dave Strano
U
2B political science
1. Husband or wife, with "better" 5. He reviles the English 9. Spanish saint 14. Ohio's Great Lake 15. Pith helmet 16. Puccini or Wagn~r's party piece 17. Colloquial rejection 18. Prayerful conclusion 19. Runs through UW 20. Largest terrestrial telescope type 23. Sexy stuff of no literary value 24. Female bird 25. Fraternity candidate 28. Engineering EOT mainstay 30. His master's voice 33. Once more 34. Christmas season 35. Intense sufferfugs 36. Baby cabbages . 39. Quay post 40. The plexus 41. Present reasons to disagree 42. Solid water 43. Military land force 44. Broadestdefir.Ution 45. Pigeon noise 46. Unmarried woman 47. Exc~ssive precision 54. Step one 55. Liquid Unit 56.1ntemation CivilAviation Organi-
57. Where you'd expect to find the NaVJ' 58. Start of any fairy tale 59. Slim 60. Clay and silt wind deposit 61. ~rophet or oracle 62. Golfs goal
Down 1. Catch wind of
27. Fry 28. Full-bosomed 29. In addition to 30: Cheek powder 31. Whale-shaped constellation 32. Useful object 34. Pre-Big Bang matter 35. Prolific writer 37. Incorrectin{ottnation 38. SalJuyjncrease 43. Large arteries 44. It's almost over 45. Goddess of agriculture 46. Cut into small pieces 47. Germany's Iron Chancellor Von
2. Elaborate opera solo 3. Short Lindy hop 4. One who likes whips and cuffs 5. Oscar or David 6. Santa's heavenly reindeer 7. German car brand 8. Fork prong B~ 9. \'f('orld's biggest 5p(>rt, outside the U.S. 48. FlO'I."'t."1" holder 10. Aircraft parking lot ,., 49. Epic poem
\\1:ll[;.:m~~;
'., "'\\\'50.~~' ,··WH·"1I')~lqll.·.· !2. MainstAY of the lumber trade 51. RepeAtingreply B. Harmvood 52. Pound with a hammer
"In the basement." Andrea Lane 4B fine arts
21. Portents 22. They outnumber New Zealanders in their own land 25. Jewish leader 26. Hungarian language
"In Nina's car because she locks herself outl" Nicole Vanhie and Cassandra Maxted
.......
1B science and 1Barts
53. Sound colour 54. 1>fike Doonesbury's "younger brother rimoogksoulis@imprintuwaterloo.ca
: TIll •• -.I dIMs II C81ada'I.S. P8Ia1I. - Part I
1. (Former Quebec Premier Rene Levesque) "Certain truths have to pass through the , United States before being _____ in Canada."
'DOUTDROSNE"
5. (Former U.S. President Warren Harding) "{As] long as each country maintains its independence and both recognize that they are interdependent, those paths cannot fail to be ___ of progress and prosperity."
SIGAYWHH
"CKMS, because no one can find it." Benjamin Ong
"1 wouldn't tell you; I would only tell the ladies." Chris Jawornicki
2A environmental engineering
3A economics
2. (Former Canadian Prime Minister Lester B.. Pearson) "That's the way we Canadians feel about you Americans. You can "___ us and you can dismember us, just so long as you don't interfere with us."
6. (Former U.S. foreign affairs secretary Henry Kissinger) "Cat}.ada and the United by geography and history States are to friendship."
EATCADTPIE
EOMDDO
3. (Former Canadian PM Pierre Trudeau) "The warmth of your welcome . what I have always known: that.a Canadian in the United States is among friends."
? (Former
SEINERRFOC
"I wouldn't keep ·it. I'd spend it on broads and booze." David Coutur~
"In a box of Lucky Charms." .Trevor Morrison 4B health studies
HEADCENN
4. (Former Canadian Member of Parliament Svend Robinson) "Stop now!"
SSAWRRTA
1B arts and bl:lsiness
J
I,
J
I
U:S .. President Ronald Reagan) [Canada and the United States share] a relationship that has the standard of living and the freedom of our peoples."
I. .l .'
Final Quotation: (Former Canadian PM Wilfrid Laurier) "There ." will be no more pilgramages to
neral eting Thursday March 31st :30PM ~ r at H II "SLe
'. ience Council >iMrElection.路 . The Federation of Students will be holding a by election for two vacant Science Student Council seats. The by election will be held on March 28 and 29, 2005. The candidtaes are as follows: - Bhamra, Suman - Printer, Salima - Redmond, Kevin
All fuU time undergraduate Science Students in the regular and co op stream are eligible to vote for these candidates. For more information' please contact Brandon Sweet, Chief Electoral Officer, at . bbgsweet@feds.uwaterloo.ca or 888-4567, ext 6781. . >
'. Choose from hundreds of day and eveningAru and Science courses
Pick up credits toward your dear- at your .home univer$ity tJIIUiII.
..r . ..............
~
Take advantqe of U ofT's great libraries and athletic centres Experience 'the excitement of
summer in Toronto
FRIDAY.1.vfARCH 11,2005
W.'S cellPl celebrates
wIIII_-11II1II11 •• 7
Pinball Clemens visits UW Mohamr:nad Jangda IMPRINT STAFF
It takes a lot of-courage to proclaim yourself a "glorified cowatd" and announce that your most renowned accomplislunents mean nothing. For Michael 'Pinball' Clemens, well-renownedfootball player, this act took little effort. He confidently announced tbatalltbathis achievements as aplayer in the CanadianFootballLeaguewereoflittlevalue and that all he had truly done was runaround with asackofleather. ''Whoyouareisnotwhatyoudo,'' he explained. It was with such bravado and vig,orthatPinball tookthe stage to speak to students and community members this past Monday on ''Youth, Community,andI.eadership."Drawingfromhispersonal experiences and thoseofco11eagues, theall-timeallpurpose yardage leader in the CFL and winne.t of four Grey Cups used audience questions to frame his talk on the true meaning of leadership and community behavior. His energetic respo~ses to audience inquiries, ranging from reasons why the Argos didn't go after Henry Burris to how the definition ofleadership can bemademore flexible, captivated sports fans and leadership enthusiasts alike. When asked what he hoped to accomplish throughhis talkPinballexplained, '''There's asaying in sports that superstars Win games but teams win seasons and to be consistent with tbatwe need to know that we need input from everybody... all of us have a partin this process." He emphasized that
Universities/Colleges
MOHAMMED JANGOA
Pinball spoke to UW students about leadership as part of a WPIRG campaign. that "As aleader, you work for others. Youhaveto give them everything they need to be successful" Touchingontheconceptoffranchisingasaleader, he illustrated that "you have to pouryourselfinto someone else so they can teach others." The talk was organized by WPIRG (co-sponsoredbyFedsandUWStudentServices) as part of theirChange the World campaign, whichis hoping to take a structured look at leadership trainingand support. WPIRGisattemptingtouseanewvehicle to promote lcadership skills oc"Cause of gro'\vmg demand from students. Upcoming events include
~~~~_."" ·aiea~Campand~oourses,aswell athletes, university students, orpol,iticians regardless ofhow successful they mar be. A keypart ofleadership is creatingan environment where input is valued, Pinball emphasized
as the implanenlation of a leadernhip rcsotm:e lihctrr. \'{"PIRG 00pt.."S t.o equip stuOt..'t1ts with theleadership skills necessary forboththeirprofessionalcareersandtheirpresence
in the community. WPIRG explained that Pinball is the perfect model for a leader, and this was one of the main reasonshewas asked to speakatUW. He is known for his dynamic speaking style and his dedication to helping charities across Canada, which eamedhim the Order ofCanada. His childhood struggles with living in single parent house and having to overcome many stereotypes make his Ii sympathetic story, andhisperseverance and success makeiteven more uplifting. Despite his hard life, Pinball manages to shine his strik.ingsmileall!tbetiroe. Hee:llplained. "Smile II. little more often; you might make someone's day." mjangda@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Referendum: wPIRG fee to be debated in future weeks Continued from cover WPIRGboardmemberSharmilaSeta!amsaid, ''We have resources and experience tbatis available herein thePIRGtbatmaynotbeavaiIableanywhere else on campus." .wpIRG describes itself as "a service that promotes civic leadership in students throughresearch,educationandactiononenvironmental and social justice issues." The group is comprised of both volunteers and paid staff. Weber claimed tbat the current system employed by W'PIRG puts the onus of receiving a refund on the student. "Currently, students cannot opt out of the W'PIRG levy. You must go to their office every term to get a refund." When asked about selecting the W'PIRG fee as the target of the petition, Weber said, ''We originally planned on targetingalllevies that are university-wide, and that do not hold '\videly pubJicized elections." These includeWPIRG,III1>lintandCKMS. "WPIRGwas chosen fitst because they have the highest levy. Petitions in the past that have targeted all the fees atoncehavefailed ... [w]ealsofound,inourresearch ofUW media archives, that the \VPIRG fee has been targeted the most and is perceived as theleast popular among students," he added Proposals for \VPIRGfeeref~da were submitted iq 1999, 2001, and 2003. None went to a vote, although the 2001 proposal put forward by Dan Mader, then-president ofUW's Progressive Conservative Campus Association, narrowlymissed appearing on the Feds election ballot. The proposal faced a 7-7 deadlock in Feds Students' Council This year, because Weber's petition containsthenamesofmorethan10percentofcurrently enrolledFeds fee-payingundergraduates, thereferendum must go to a vote.
A new list compiled by studentcare.net/works finds that the drugs most often prescribed to post-secondary students across Canada are oralconttaceptives, antidepressants andmedications t9 eliminate acne and herpes; asthma treatments and amoxicillin failed to make the top ten at several schools. A rep for the website which runs health plins for 330,000 Canadian students - found it "really interesting that oral contraceptives and antidepressants outrank antibiotics," while. others were less surprised. ''Let's face it - we're university students. We're at that age," said the vice-president finance ofthe University of British Columbia's student union. Canada
Greying rock band U2 added Ottawa as a stop on their world tour after receiving a phone call from Paul Martin. U2 fans in the nation's capital were disappointed when the band left the city off the tour and organized a petition. causing "4 Ottawa radio station to call 011 Martin to pressure the band into stopping by. Martin and C2 singer BonobecatnetigbtthreeyeusagQ~~t""
to help the [X)orm Africa. Bono, \'1.'00 sp(Jke~tthc Iibern:lleadel:shipcom'ennontwoyearsago,oopes to organize "a protest party" while he's here, in which Canadians call and request Martin to donate more money to foreign aid. Personally, I think any future Canadian donations should be contingent on Bono growing the mullet back.
totalled $90,417. International In response to the accusation tbat his pay was ''big-money,'' Daryl ;N~vak said, ''If you look at UW staff with comparable qualifications that are A man in Rome, Italy who has been given six doingcomparablework, we'reunderpaidbytwoor months to live by his doctors will have to wait 14 months to collect his insurance damages. Carmelo three gradings [on the UW payscale]," he said WPIRG financial statements, previously available Cisabella, 39, who is confined to a wheelchair by at the WPIRGofficein the SLC and now available a terminal and inoperable spinal cord disease, has on theirwebsite,indicate that the twQ support staff spent more than a decade seeking over $596,000 in damages which insurers have already agreed to were paid a total of$90,417 in 2002. pay. But a Sicilian court announced this week that Novak also pointed to the complaints of numerous WPIRG supporters. "Nichas used [lJW"s Cisabcllawouldhavetovlaitseveralmonthspast his life expectancy to hear the outcome of the online directory] tolookup thenames ofany public nameandyourconfidential~numberbesideeach supporters ofWPIRG to e-mail spam and lobby case. Italian 'justice has a reputation for being other, tbatis as good as a signature. There is no them to the point ofharassment"while identifying lethargic,as theaveragecivilcaserequiresmore than reason anyone should have someone else's name eight years before a final verdict is reached. and their ill number, unless they are, in fact, that himself as a member of the 'Yes Team' for an upcoming referendum which hadn't even been person," Wroe said. Anew survey reports thatAsians get the least announced yet," he c1lUmed. ''We've had alotofoppositionfrom \VPIRG," • Weber responded to this allegation: "Currently . sleep, ,,>ith ~oseinJapangettingtheleastamount Weber said. '''They don't seem to want the stuofshut-eye in the world. The poll involved 14,100 dents to vote, they just want to collect our money., WPIRG is running a campaign called Change the people in 28 countries and regions around the For myself and the other volunteers it's not easy \X'orld. Included in this campaign is a list of 'Supworld. Portugal has the most night owls, ,,>ith 75 porters of \'V'PIRG' and their statements. As a being the little guy against the big-money, bigper cent of its citizens reporting staying up after concemed UW student I thought it would be salaried \'V'PIRG" on a nighdy basis; Taiwan was second midnight beneficial to provide these students with additional In one unsolicited e-mail to a WPIRG sup69 percent. InJapan, a whopping 41 per with porter, Weber claimed that ''WPIRG collected information on the topic athand" He also said that c~nt claim they get by on six hours ofsleep or $148,308.00 from students and paid out$103,164 . he did not violate the directory's acceptable use less each night, quite a contrast to Australians, policy bye-mailing the students. Regarding in wages to their two staff." Devan :Mescall, exwho reportedly go to sleep the earliest and sleep accusations,he said, "itseems theyjustgo W'PIRGs officio W'PIRG board member and a chartered in the most. The executive directoroftheresearch of their way to personally.attack me." out accountantinvolvedin preparingW'PIRG's finanfirm who took the poll suggested that late night While both sides claim to have been wronged, cial statements, maintained that the audited docuentertainment, all-night shoppingand the Intemet Novak was hopeful that the campaign would ments were taken out of context by Weber. The are among the reasons for ,the prolonged bedprovideanopenforumfordebate. ''Whenitcomes number, from WPIRG's 2002 financial report, times. I had no idea the Portuguese were so high right down to it, studet;tts deserve an honest presincluded grant money that was distributed to entation of the facts. They didn't get it during the . on uninspired Jay Leno monologues. contract staff, and not only the two WPIRG supportstaf£Restatedwithoutthegrantsintheir2003 petition campaign, so let's hope they get it during mstratford@imprint.uwaterloo.ca the referendum." . audit, the total salary of the two core positions , '·"~""hh~",j.~$l,h"d,*d"",; ",~"*~~*,~,,,*.~~ :t·'l,%·t'~"~·*,%.*''*~it :!L-t,t It,*,~·$,,:>$ ~ *,~ ~ <$ ~:It % <$ * * ~ * <$ <t f % >f ~ <$ f ~ ~
NovakalsoaccusedWeberofmisrepresenting his petition bypostingitthroughwww.wpirg.com. while the WPIRG website is www.wpirg.org. Novakcontended tbat"this action deceitfullycapitalizes on the 'goodwill' of WPIRG and clearly violates trademark common law." '''The URL forwards to an online petition that requires no signature, justa name and ill number. The Fedspresidenthasincludedthesenamesinthe. required petition tally," he said. Becky Wroe, who verified the petition, made the decision to include the online petition. "Mybeliefis thatifyou put your
,,"'
fIl<
1;
I1\'
\l<
~
I
6
J
Inspiring female techno-philes
Solving t4e weed crisis
Canada's respected Roy;U Canadian Mounted Police (RCI\1P) force was brought to its knees last week with the murder offour officers at the hands of a distutbed sociopath. The tradegy in Alberta conjured up feelings of intense sorrow, anger and a desire for justice. Theissuewas especially touchy because the officers were investigating a marijuana grow operation. It generated debate across the country with regard to dle wisdom of,Canada's marijuana policy - and the Liberal Party of Canada's bi-annual convention held this past weekend was no exception. The shootings appear to have been, according to some observers, exploited by both the pro- and anti-marijuana camps. Even before the bodies of the RCI\1P officers had been retrieved, Deputy Jlrime_MinisterAnneMcLellan ' was before the cameras raving about how we must impose harsher penalties for grow-ops. With all due respect to the minister, the notion is ridiculous. The penalty for killing a police officer is 25 years in prison with no parole. Hosnngagrowop is usUally around 5-10 yeats. Somehow I don't think having more severe grow-op penalties would've deterred this criminal in the slightest. The unfortunate death of these officers illustrates more clearly than ever how ludicrous our prohibition laws are. ~y were these men killed chasing down a guy growingrelatively harmless plants when there are murderers and rapists on the loose? Wasting the time of the police on marijuana-busting is an insult to their uniform and we should liberalize oUr drug laws right away. A policy proposal at the Liberal convention - ultimately taken off the , table in favour of a more popular policy of decr:iminalized prostitution
_- would P<tve seen marijuana legalized and sold in a manner similar to alcohol. Opinion on the issue within the Liberals is diverse: Treasury Board President RegAlcock has called for the legalization of marijuana while Dan McTeague, parliamentary secretary to -the:MinistryofForeigfiAffairs,isca.n1paigning against even the decriminalization of tiny amounts of marijuana. The Conservatives consistendy argue for tougher penalties on marijuana grow-ops while the NDP completely support -legalization of this plant. The potential Liberal policy argued. that if the government regulated and sold the dnig, it would put the grow-' ops out of business and possibly reap annual tax revenues to the tune of$3 billion, anq eliminatinK the roughly $400-$500 million we spend each year enforcing marijuana prohibition. Using marijuana decreases reaction time and impairs judgment and that is precisely the reason why driving under the influence of this drug should be treated just as is driving under the influence of alcohol. There are always ways around the dangers. ~'hen one Liberal at the convention was warning the audience about the negative healt4 effects of smoking marijuana, another person yelled out, "Eat broWnies!" A 2002 report from the Canadian Senate said that the current system of prohibition in Canada does not work and should be replacea by a regulated system that would focus on illegal trafficking, prevention programs and respecting individual and collective freedoms; Legalization will not only make it safer for users butitwill clear the name of the estimated 600,000 Canadians who have beep convicted of simple cannabis possession. Similar to what it does for cigarettes, the government should finance research on drugs and on prevention and treatment -programs, financed by taxes on the sale of legal marijuana. The time for change. is now. mjohnson@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
VOLUNTEER TAX CLINIC March 17 & 18, Student Life Centre
9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. All UW $tudents are welcome - please bring T4s For info contact www.asec.ca #~
:
••••••••••••••
;r•••
gradphotos.ca ww.gradphotos.ca
FRIDAY, MARCH 11, 2005
~
:
h.•
: A"~Vf$30$49.9:.: • EVERGREEN PLAZA, 370 Highland Rd. - KITCHENER ~ 744-5553 •
"~ at Westmount. next to Food Basics I Info@hl-.ahlandimagecentre.com' ' ~ • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •y
KiriKa Bussell =IM-:::P::::R:::INT=-=-S=T::"CAF=-==F----------
Dr. Ursula Franklin introduced her March 2 Hagey Lecture, "Thinking About Technology: BefiningTech- . nology as Practice," by paying tribute to the University of Waterloo. After an official welcome from the Hagey Lectute Committee and President David Johnston, Franklin made a point of thanking the blend of students and local residents in the theatre for, in he! words, giving her the gift oftheir time. Franklin then wasted litde time introducing her multi-faceted theories aboutherspecialty: tec;hnology. An articulate and thoughtful speaker, the 84-year-old academic candidly offered her opinions on technology'S many themes, often using Dr. Ursula Franklin provided insight and reflection on technology metaphor to connect with her audi.in today's SOCiety as part of the lecture and stu~ent colloquium. ence. She compared the proCess of thinking about a question to taking a " attending a conference about women walk around the block: "It's a joyful ~ avoid a "man-made eclipse." She added, ''Part of our situation is a and minorities in science and engiactivity in which we all engage. [To] necessary darkness. If we think o( neering, when he declared his hytake one's mind around a questiondark and doom, we wonder what we pothesis that women are at a biologitake your mind for a walk around the cando. Clarity-redirected lightcal disadvantage when compared to block. You can do it alone or with is the need to understand theinteractheir male counterparts in the sciences others, because it's a nice thing to tion between mechanisms and orand were not at a disadvantage bedo." cause ofsocial circumstances. Through<?utthelectute,Franklin . ganisms." Franklin emphasized the importance of understanding from Franklin responded that she was methodically explored themes that troubled and puzzled by the inapdifferent perspectives, including the were new territory for some audience propriate comments made, particumembers, which was particu1~lyevi - organisms' point of view and vice versa. dent when she introduced the nolarly because they were made by a man On the topic of education, when representing an influential institutions of an organism versus a mechation. "I think he [Summers] neeclsto asked to comp,are the instruction she nism, nQtions that form the foundathink where he stands in respect with received at tion of underthe rest of the world: and why his the Technistandingherdefical Univerideas are deficient," she said. Franklin nition of technol"There is nothing girls sityofBerlin questioned the process Harvard's hlrogy as practice. to the "typi- ·ing committee followed when they She explained the have to change. I've hired a man of such convictions, and cal Canadian two ideas by comtried my bit and not made het audience laugh when she university paring them to faadded, ''1 think he needs to go back to education,". miliar objects: "A been that successful she remummy." She continued by promechanism is a [at changing percep- ,sponded claiming, "There is nothing girls have functional unit to change. I've tried my bit and not that it is inwith parts that extions]. It's \lP to your valuable for' been that succes~ful [at changing perist to work togen"eration to kel!p students of ceptions], It's,up to your generation gether in per'to keep working." varyingbackformance of a working." A scientist who has achieved a grounds,ex-. task." She adnumber of accomplishremarkable vanced her expla_ Ursula Franklin perience and ments, Franklin is the recipient of ages to share nation by using honouraty degrees from ten Canaideas and the analogy of a dian universities and is a Companion opinions. She emphasized her interclock and continued, "You can fix a to the Order of Canada. She began her est in shared perspectives and her mechanism by replacing parts." career in metallurgy (the science of Franklin's celebrated book, The Real beliefin technology as a practice, exWorld ojTechnology, elaborates on her plaifrlngwhy shf adopted the defIni- extracting metals) in her native Gertion offered by a -fellow scientist: many, and over the course of h~r clock analogy: "Pre-existing parts, work established a well"'lieservedrepu"Kenneth B6u1ding defined technoldesigned to play specific roles in the tation as an acclaimed scientist, huogy as practice. It's quite clear as huclock, are assembled together into a manitarian, peace activist and femimanities have to grapple with tech. functional unity whose dynamic acnist. nology the issues [in other faculties] tion serves to keep track of the pasFranklin joined the University of often been very much the same. have sage of time." By contrast, organisms Toronto in 1967, where she was the Howwe teach how to deal with instiare "both a functional and structutal first female bestowed with the prestutions is the stuff of cultute and unit, existing by means of parts, to tigious tide of University Professor in technology." express the natute of an organism. It At her student colloquium the 1984. No stranger to public speaking, needs all its parts to grow in concert Franklin was also a featured speaker next morning, Franklin continued to to function." of the 1989 Massey Lectutes, which She explained th~t organisms are " answer questions related to the previwere broadcast by CBC Radio, and ous night's lecture and her publicaparts of a whole that are necessary for were the basis for her influential book tions from students representing a the whole to function, much like the The Real World of Technology. variety of faculties (including engiroots of a plant or the organs of a neering and peace and conflict studperson. She established the link that kbussell@imprint.uwaterloo.ca ·a simultaneous comprehension of ies). One student, noting Franklin's feminist views, explained she could organisms and mechanisms pronot resist asking her to address the founqIy affects our view of producopinions of Harvard University's' tion and technology and, empowpresident Lawrence Summers. Sumered with this knowledge, people can mers' controversial remarks were change the direction technology takes made this pastJ anuaryto an audie.nce so it is used to produce benefits, and ".
FRIDAY. MARCH 11, 2005
I
Celebrating feminism as women rock and talk at UW hoping to educate, entertain and inspire people through our e~ents to be more conscious of women's rights and of the wonderful wide.Pride and appreciation ofw~men everywhere were world of women." The week started offwithinformation booths heralded by the Womyn's Centreins:;elebrationof about health, wellness, and the Womyn's CenInternati~nal Women's Week, March 7 to 11. tre. Buttons with phrases such as "Fuck your On March 8, 1977, the United Nations established International \tromen's Day. Since then, Fascist Beauty Standards" and ''I'm sexy just for me" were on sale, as were pink armbands toting the day has been expanded into a week; and is celebrated across the globe annually. theslogan"FeminismLives."Womyn'sCentte volunteers were also available to answer ques''It 1s an opportunity for women and men, alike, to reflect on the challenges thatwomen still tions. Tuesday, officially International Women's face in today's society, while making sure to celebrate the enormous gain made so far in the Day, saw a" relaxing and flexibility-enhancing enhancement of women's yoga session and the rights," said Cassandra Bombshelterplayed host to a Polyzou, a co-ordinator for ... yoga, information WOl;nen's Week concert. 1..0the Womyn's Centre. cal artist ZaraAhmed started booths, a concert, offthe concertwithheracousTheweekwas celebrated at UW with many events, bike repair, jewelery tic guitar and passionate, rich such as yoga, information singing. She was followed by making, a sex toys the raw, earthy sound of booths, a concert, bike reFatima. TorontoactTrashn' pair, jewelery making, a sex workshop and the toys workshop and th~ inReady went up next, dishing infamous annual up some incredible spoken famous annual Pussy Party. word about strip clubs,· The Womyn's Centre Pussy Party. dildos, fan mail, and rape. hoped thattheweekw~)Uld Spoken word attistand singer allow them to promote Evalyn Parry wowed the audience with poetry women's issues to students and staff on camand song. Last onstage was Hunter Valentine, a pus. rocking band from Toronto, who ended the "Part of the purpose of [International Womnight\vith energy-driven beats. . en's \'7eek] on campus is to draw attention·to issues that specifically concern women, such as A jeweleryworkshop took place on Wednesmenstruation and sexual health, so that we can day, and was followed by the other main event ask: why are these issues not part of our daily of the week, the Pussy Party. This eve~t happens every year, and is a celebration of women. The cultural context?" commented Polyzou. She continued, "In addition the Womyn's Centre is event took place in the multipurpose room and Sabrina Bowman IMPRINT STAFF
all over this ",>ide country. \'X1u.'O tragedy strikes, the first thing one thinks about is, could that have been me? Granted, we're not alll\Iounties, nor will we ever be, but university students are nonetheless close in age to those who were killed. Constable Peter Schiemann was only 25. The' , , older we get, the younger the victims of tragedy always se~m to be. Canada said good-bye this week to four brave This world is too small for anonymity. The men whose lives were only just beginning six degrees of separation hypothesis proposes when they were gUnned down in a senseless act of violence in Mayerthorpe, Alberta. That five that you are likely connected to every other men died is certain, but the final moments will person in the world by no more than six likely never be confirmed. Being a law enforcepeople, for better or worse. While this might ment officer is never easy. seem. preposterous, examples seem to pop up everywhere. Between classmates and roomNot since a July 1963 plane crash in mates, you'd be surprised who you're conCarmacks, Yukon, has the Royal Canadian nected to. My own ex~mple came in the fo!tp Mounted Poli"ee lost four members in a single incident. The deaths of ConStables Schiemanrl, of a phone call from my grandmother on Sunday. It turns out that Constable Johnston, Gordon and Myrol brings the number to 207 officers killed while on duty Schiemann's mother grew up in Kitchener, since the force was formed in 1874. I took a where her father was a teacher and later a moment to visit the ROvIP website and visit principal. The closer connection was that my grandthe online cenotaph to the fallen officers; Permother once taught Schiemann's mother in haps thankfully for us, the largest single causes of death were either the elements or accidents. Sunday school, and that relatives continue to live in the area. When n::y mother reexamined It is a tribute to the safety of our country that, the photos of the faHen officers, she immediin 130 years of law enforcement, the greatest enemy of the RC1<IP has been either mother ately" recognized her former Sunday school classmate in the face of her son. nature or the motor vehicle. The law enforcement community, like the Every day people put their lives on the line armed forces, has always been very close-knit. to ensure that we enjoy the peace, order and One only needs look at the images from the good government that have defined our counpast week of funerals and memorial services to , try since its inception. Should you meet an see that. Reading the first-hand accounts of officer of the law, a health care worker, a firefighter or someone else who makes the world other RCl\fP officers, I was struck by the degree a better place, take the opportunity to tbank with which Mounties move around in the span of their career. One of the ,first officers to them. After all, they are someone's son or daughter. give a personal anecdote was a Mountie in This is our world, a safe, small world after Nova Scotia's Annapolis Valley who had worked with one of the Alberta officers. Being all. a Mountie is pretty close to being a member of nmoogksoulis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca the armed forces, \vith detachments sprinkled
Bassist Fatima plucks a tune during the concert atthe bomber, held in conjunction with University of Waterloo's annual International Woman's Week. consisted ofabreast-casting workshop, reusable pad-making, and button making. A bike repair workshop on Thursday was followed later in the day by a ~ex toys workshop, presented by well-known Toronto sex shop Come As You Are. The week will end today with a bra-burning bonfire party at the fire pit across from the Environmental Studies building on ring road.
Bring your bra to toss in the flames and some food for roasting. The party starts at 8 p.m. For more information on women's issues and the \t'omyn's Centre, email uw_ womyns_center@yahoogroups.com or visit the Womyn's Centre, located in SLC 2102. sbowman@imprint.uwaterl<!o.~a
TMOOS ~ PC _ _ tile WIilV)'\'IU do. ~bytlle 11llei"~4~wfthm~
ogy. its ~ to domo ttIIn!J$ a t - . itstl1e-'~Io~fOt!~ ~do_Ck,WfIt9~pIsy ~
HWIIIIe
1IlI'Id_.
~~~PC$
1mm$009
Adti17' LCO!rom $300 Add 19" leo !rom $5fI9
CSA~~~in_ISO!lII01 ~.qwIiIy'
you_iIWt.
....-...g"""""'-_ . _f_
'~3
• __
__
&_~
01~","A~
-~
..
·~"_fOr.~_
_.&06_1
ONWARD
Orrnrd Computer ~ 301 iCing ~ EatiI
Unit 203 I(~. 00,
N2G 212
~OI'I~'
8
,FRIDAY,
MARCH 11, 2005
Doing it right, the first time
"Hey! Beee a man! 0000 the right thing!" Side-splittinglaughter characterized last Monday's Russell Peters comedy showatFedHall. Thewidely-acclaimed event sold out in three minutes; requiring a second show to be added later in the week. By the time you read this, over 1,400 UW students will be regurgitating jokes - and surreptitiously stolen videos - from one of Canada's hottest comedians. Amidst all this excitement, it's easy to TruSS the fact that this was just one small project put together by a steadily growing group of young marketing innovators at lJ\'7, The Crew. Rising stars of the campus community, these deeply engag~d and highly innovative individuals are showing true potential for making a positive change on campus - through effective marketing. In my younger years, hearing the
term "marketing" brought some very Started as a brainchild of the Feds' marketing department, The Crew has interestingimages to my mind. I would no need to worty about Alaclcan 's appicture expensively-clad young urban professionals sitt:inliin shadowy board , peal. This volunteer-run student group carries no agenda. Instead, they are rooms ofBayStreet skyscrapers. Sinister grins on their faces, they would savvy enough to have put learning what students really want and need at discuss how to best manipulate the the top 'of their list of priorities. minds of would-be consumets, melding us to bend to their evil will. The Crew's other'main goal, beEverything they do would be directed sides learning what students really towards the goal of serving some want, is something that Crew organunknown but surely malicious ulteizer Enam Rabbani refers to as "oneto-one promotions." Above and berior motive. There would be plenty of Hnger drumming a la The Simpsons' yond ,their large-scale promotionsl'vfontgomery Burns: "Eeeexcellent." like the Russell Peters shows - The Not to suggest that the above scene Crew makes itself available to student has never happened, but education groups ~ho need help running a sucand experience has shown me how cessful show. A win-win situation, one-sided this view ofmarketing truly The Crew likes to think big and has no is. I've leamed marketingis not simply problems providing kick-ass advertisinfluencing minds of consumers but ing, over-the-top event setup and volunteer recruitment - all free of about frnding out what people truly want and need. Letting companies charge to UW' campus groups. Theirs know what people really want can be is a much-needed effort on campus, much more helpful- and, yes, profespecially considering the recent "C" itable - than simply ttying to shove grade that UW students gave their new images and products into the school spirit in the recent Globe and Mailuniversity report card. minds of consumers. Here on campus, The Crew has Still, this up-and-coming student shown how to successfully take the group needs 'to be careful as it grows. high road in the world of marketing. Competing demands from its ever-
COURTESY OF THE CREW
The Crew poses with humour sensation R-..ssel Peters during the first showing at Federation Hall on March 7. expanding membership could easily lead to intemal conflict. Arrogance over past successes could leave them lazy, dropping the ball on future events. The Crewwillneed to show more than just good marketing if they are to survive over the long term. To date, however, The Crew has been nothing but a success. They have demonstrated their skills at diverse activities such as Engineers \-X;'ithout Borders Halo 2Xbox tournament, the tsunami relief campaign's dodgeball night and the recent Winterfest cel-
ebrations in co-operation with Warrior Weekends. March 30 will see The Crew bring ''blackout/whiteout', llight to the SLC. All the SLC's windows will be covered for presentations during the day, \vith a black light/T-'shirt graffrti theme at the lastBomberWednesday that llight. Allinall,RussellPeters'imaginary Pacific Mall vendor would approve of The Crew - for now, atleast, they are certainly "doing the right thing." ' adilts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
.Update on thefts, sexual swings, and ... acting engineers? "
pus, allowing team members to keep " their skills up-to-date. Teams do not know in advance\vith which scenarios they\\-ill be presented. CR':f memberswo,tk in teams of two and all members are certifred at the very leastin standard fustaid and CPRC. Training for members is ongoing. Christine loureiro, Rob Blom and Bianca Tong . IMPRINT STAFF
uOperation Campus Wide" l]\1;! Campus Response Team, the group of 'students who respond to medical emergencies and provide frrst aid at campus events prior to the arrival ofprofessionai medical assistance, will be running "Operation Campus Wide" beginning March 14. "During this event volunteer team members participate in emergen~y medical scenarios. While in the past OCW has been primarily a trailling event, we have decided to use the event to gain campus interest in the team,". said CRT communications coordinatorStephen~ryers. Scenarios will also incorporate the use ,of an Automated ExtemalDeHbrillation device. During Operation Campus \\j'ide, teams of two will. respond to three different emergency simulations, which will take place in buildings all over cam-
Engineering play The engineering societyinvites students to see their production of Moss Hart and George S; Kaufman's ''You Can't TakeitWith You" on March 18and 19. According to drama producer MicheleHeng, thefirstEngSocplaywas staged in Winter 2001. The tradition is now in its 13th term. "Alotofpeoplemaythink, what do a bunch ofengineers know about acting or creative talent ..but,you maybepleas-' antly surprised," Heng told Imprint. "And for $6, it's cheap as heck... you can't afford to not go." According to the EngSoc website, the plays are en" tirely student run, \\-1.th students filling roles from director to stage manager to cast and crew. Tickets are $6 and on sale from March 11 to 18intheCariPollockHall foyer. Friday'S show is at 8 p.m., with a 2 p.m. matinee and an 8 p.m. show on Saturday. For more information, contact
"
bsoc_drama@engmail.uwaterloo.ca.
club in action, but must keep an open 1l:liqd that they a$e not allowed to actually debate, simpl:)watch. Ifinterested in the U\'// debating club, their general meetings are on Wednesday at 5 p.m. in room 1015 of the CElT building.
loveplay, learning about sex shows, and is friendly to both b~Tl_ heterosexual audiences, Space is limited, as only 20 spots are available for the seminar. Admission is $35 for the general public, and $30 for students.
Former parliamentarian on sustainable development The faculty of environmental studies and department of environment and resource studies bring Charles Caccia, senior fellow at the U niversit:y ofOttaUpdate on engineering thefts wa's Institute of the Environment, to Alan George to keep key 1ST role Three men and one woman have been As Alan George's term as dean of charged in connection with the thefts UW on Tuesday, March 15. The Italian native apd formerparlimehtarian will mathematics wraps up onJune 30, the and break-ins that occurred inJanuary present the lectute "The Ell.:isiveImplecomputer science profwill be retaining at various engineering buildings. mentation of Sustainable Develophis role as associate provost (mformaWaterloo regional police do not susment"at7:30p.m.inArtsLectuteHall rlfn systems and technology) for anpect that students were involved, due room 113. other two years, announced Prov9st to the nature of the thefts. Amit Chakma. Caccia plans to expand upon his Dean of engineering Adel Sedra's interest in and support for the environGeorge has been dean since 1998, as offrce was broken into, and keys to ment and sustainable development well as for a six-year stint in the 1980s, server rooms, offrces and classrooms issues by exploring the evolution of and hm; held variOQS provost roles around engineeringwere taken. Several throughout the )~ear. issues and' trends. He also plans to high-priced projectors were also suggest remedies to the elusive nature ."Overthepast18months,Alanhas snatched. ofimplementing susUJinable developprovided very strong leadership in the Since then, about $50,000 has been ment. His talk is to be followed by a area ofinformation technologyfn spite spent onre-keyingand changinglocks, of his dual role," said a memo from ' as well as added security measures. question and answer period. Admission is free, and all are welcome. Chakma. George has been a key figure in the Caccia will also appear at a student - Ivith jiles/rolll DailY Btllietin alld colloquium the next afternoon at 2 release ofu\X' administrative software, The Ricard includingcourseenvironment U\VAce, p.m., 'in Environmental Studies 2 r')om 173. Caccia was fust elected to Quest andJ ob~1ine. Current activities cloureiro@imprint.uwaterloo.ca parliament in 1968, as aIiberalmember . include a pilot project towards a "rollrblom@imprint.uwaterloo.ca for Toronto's Davenport riding. He over" of desktop computers, said bianca@imprint.uwaterloo.ca won nine more consecutive elections, George - that is, a plan for regular serving for 36 years in various different replacement of deskt0ps so that computer equipment across campus is uppositions including Minister of the to-date. Environment, and l\:IinisterofLabour.
Correction
Argument to raise UW debating Swing into sexuality club interest for students Looking for an avenue for exploring RecentImprifltarticles sparkecHnterest your sexuality?The Happy Hen, a health for UW's debating club on the topic: and sexuality shop located in Cam''\X'hether or not FEDS, should supbridge at 3 Grand Ave. S., is hosting a port ethnic and/or religious clubs on seminar titled "Harnessing your decampus." This debate is to be held in sire." The workshop, which runs from the Grea~ Hall of the SLC at 1 p.m. on . 7-1 OpmonMatch 18,is geared towards March 17. anyone interested in exploring other Students wi.shingto attend have the aspects of their sexuality. Topics exopportunity to watch the U\\! debate plored include using a harness in
No food will be burned at the bonfire in front of the ES building to be held Friday. Only bras.
FRIDAY. MARCH 11, 2005
PINION
Imprint is published by Imprirlt Publications StudentLifeCentre 1116 University oEWaterloo Waterloo, ON N2L 3Gl
Reproduction in the 21st century In the spirit of International Women's Day (March 8), it was entirely appropriate for Margaret Wente to devote her March 5 column in the Globe & Mail to what she tided "the great baby strike." And given the topic she discussed, I think it was also appropriate for readers to feel frustrated and agitated by it. Wente explained "Canadianwomen arehavinganaverage ofonly 1.5 children, not nearly enough to replace ourSelves. That's a problem. It's so big it can't be
fixed by immigration. How will the economygrowifthewotkforceshrinks?,' She went on to note that 22 is the peak age of fertility. for women. That means that I have passedrnypeak,and many students in university are passing by theirs too. . How many 22-yeaF-old females do you know who are popping out babies? Not only are 22-year-olds preoccupied with figuring out how to finish school or what the hell to do with their education but they certainly can't afford to raise a child. Those who finished high school early and opted for college w~uld still only have a couple years of work under their belts, not enough to make them feel financially able to support a brood of offspring. Wente says we nowvalue self-grati-
fication more than self-'sacrifice and don't want to take on the expense and responsibility children bring. I'm not so sure. Doesn't it seem reasonable that pursuing a career and paying for the education to get you there is quite
My sister has always wanted a big family. I have always wanted a career.
or
a big responsibility as well? I've come up with a compromise: my sister has always wanted a big family, I have always wanted a career. If
Sayanora and so long, WPIRG
The Federation ofStudents has called a referendum on the Waterloo Public InterestResearch Group (wpIRG) fee and hence formally called into question theveryeiistenceofthatorgaruzation. Congratulations are in order for . those individuals who created the petition that triggered the referendum. Thank you - this referendum is not only a step toward lowering total tuition but could also deal a blow to the top-heavy bureaucracy at UW. More importandy, success on the referendum will ensure that our university is ideologically heterogeneous. Students will no longer be required to open their already-depleted pocketbooks to support an extreme incarnation ofliberalism. Instead, we will be
free to choose where, how and if we . \vant to donate. Personally, I'd like to save up for a small,grass-platedstatueofJackLayton. Students should notice that WPIRG's $9.50 per academic year is enough to join almost any major political party. If Imprint ever stops tolerating ideOlogy fromJimHarrisallthewaytoStockwell Day, I will be firstinline to strike its fee from our tuition statements. \~'PIRG's narrow-minded socialist agenda, which calls for burning student money on everything from womyn (apparendy a new type of flying monster in Dungeons & Dragons) and the Queer Film Festival to EI Salvadorians, can at times make the Green Party appear conservative. It can also make a real conservative physicallysick-asifthe''bnrindamage'' from David Suzuki's economics was not enough.One individual wrote a lettertoImpnntdefendingWPIRG,calling its volunteers "frugal." But WPIRG maybe awarded as much as $140,000 to blowon a "socialmat:keting" campaign
IMPRINT UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO STUDENT NEWSPAPER
Editorial Staff Editor-in-chief,. Laura Katsirdakis editor@impl'int.uwaterloo.ca Assistant Editor, Tim Alamenciak Cover Editor, Kell~y Dilkes News Editor, Bianca Tong News Assistant, Rob Blom Opinion Editor, Jeff Anstett Opinion Assistant, Mark Johnson Features Editor, Scott Houston Features Assistant, Darren Hutz Arts Editor, Dave George-Cosh Arts Assistant, Ian Blechschmidt Science Editor, Penny Michelle Rorke Science Assistant, Michael L. Davenport Sports Editor, Sarah Allmendinger Sports Assistant, Dan Micak Photo Editor, Mohammed Jangda Photo Assistant, Klrill Levin Graphics Editor, Julian Apong Graphics _-\ssistant, Hitoshi Murakami
Friday, March 11, 2005 StudentLife Centre U16 UnivenityofWaterloo Waterloo, ON N2L 361
Web Editor, Bhavithra Aloysious Web Assistant, vacant Systems Administrator, Javed Iqbal Sys. Admin. Assistant, vacant Lead Proofreader, Dean Whelton Proofreader, Ernie Lau Proofreader, Ruhan Rahman Proofreader, Kaitlin Ojamae Proofreader, Shauna Solomon Office Staff General manager, Catherine Bolger cathy.bolger@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Advertising & production manager, Laurie TIgert-Dumas ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Production .-\ssistant, Jacqueline McKoy _-\dvertising Assistant, Lauren Fox Distribution, Chris Wost Distribution, Angella Farr Volunteer co-ordinator, Kirika Bussell
my dear sister pumps out three or four children, will it make up for me only ,. having 1 or loS? Or maybe one of Wente's assertions can be mitigate. She remarks, ''Babies and career ambitions don't mixverywell."Dulynoted. How!lbout if! have my 1.5 babies but rely on my spouse to take some time offwork. It is not mandatory, after all, for parental leave to be taken by the mother. Women need to come to terms with what is a biological fact: we are the ones who must carry and deliver children. We have more than two choices; it isn't drop out of school at 18 and start breeding pursue a career until you realize you're 39 and then try to have one child while you still can. Those who are inclined to having children, like my sister, should be en-
(wpirg.org/listprojects.html) that supports a dim political ideology. That's
hardly frugal.
.
Students who do not agree with WPIRG'1!ridkulousone-sidedageada should not be fotted to 1!upportit, nor should they need to waste time recOVeringtheirfeesassomehavesvggested. Most of us prefer to startwith money in our pockets by default and spend it by choice, not the other way around. Then again, maybe the ~IRG supporters could start a new shopping trend. Department stores could give consumers all the products they think they want and the act of "shopping" would involve returning unwanted products for refunds. Make sure that secret does not make it to Ottawa. They will impose a lOOper cent tax and force citizens to drive to parliament fortheirpaychecks. But! digress. The only further time I intend to waste on WPI~G is voting yes to the termination of its support. Th~ referendum begins March 28.
couraged to do so. There need to be financialincentives, such as the Liberal government's plan to introduce Canada-wide subsidized daycare. For those who want to pursue a career, why not divvy up the maternity leave in a way that does not assume the mother is theprimarycaregiver? 1'dlike to take a cue from same-sex couples and think of parents as mommy and mommy or daddy and daddy just for the sake of shedding the roles that are attached to "mommi' and "daddy." Females are the only ones who can have the babies and there's a limited amount oftime to do itin. There's got to be a way of coming to terms with this reality without resorting to extremes. editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
IAI FLIEI Some day$. I feel, as though all the joy has gone out of the world.
As though things are so -bad, that it's impossible to find a way to hear laughter again.
/ On days like that. I feel like there's no point in carrying on anymore.
And then the guy Sitting next to me gets drunk and falls off his bar stool, and
everything seems okay ~in.
I Shut up and help me.
\1
taievesq@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Vol. 27, No. 30 F:519.884.7800 P:519.888.4048 imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Imprillt is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA).
Production Staff Swon Yarrow, Leslie Havens, Winniefred Kuang, Jason Kennedy, Rosanna Lau, Judy W'u, Sabrina Bowman, Claire Mousseau, Stacey Hannam '
Editorial submissions may be considered for publication in any edition of Imprillt. Imprillt may also reproduce the material commercially in any fonnat or medium as part of the newspaper database, website or any other product derived from the newspaper. Those submitting editorial content, including articles, letters, photos and graphics, will grant Impi'illt first publication rights of their submitted material, and a;; such, agree not to submit the same work to any other publication or group until such time as the material has been distributed in an issue of Imprint, or Imprillt declares their' intent not to publish the material. The full text of this agreement is available upon request.
Imprillt is the official student newspaper of the University of \'faterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, \'fater100, a corporation without share capital.
Imprilll does not guarantee to publish articles, photographs, letters or ad"ertising. Material may not be published, at the discretion of Imprilll, if that material is deemed to be libelous or in conttaven-
Board of Directors board@imprint.uwaterloo.ca President, Neal Moogk-Soulis Vice-president, Erin Gilmer Treasurer, vacant Secretary, :Margie. l\iansell Staff liaison, Durshan Ganthan staff.liaison@imprint.uwatedoo.ca
tion with Impriltfs policies with respect to our code of ethics and journalistic standards.
Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Imprilll reserves the right to screen, edit and refuse advertising. Imprint Publications is not responsible for
advertisng mistakes beyonCI the cost of the advertisement. One copy per customer. Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. Imprillt CDN Pub Mail Product Sales Agreement 00. 40065122 Next staff meeting: Monday, March 14 12:30 p.m., SLC 1116 Next production night: Wednesday, March 16 5:30 p.m., SLC 1116
,Next board meeting: Monday, March 14 4 p.m., SLC 1116
10
FRIDAY, MARCH 11, 2005
Sex, toys and hypocrites in America If you sit down and watch television, read newspapers, or listen to anything coming out of the current US administration for long enough, you'll probably come away with the notion that sex is a very bad, evil, horrible, hedonistic, sinful, mind-altering, ohcgodwon't-someone-think-of-the-children, terrible thing. The sort of stuff that should only be done under strict supervision by educated professionals. If something is even partially related to sex, it is all but guaranteed to irrevocably taint everyone within a six mile radius -especially those terribly impressionable entities known as "kids." As such, our society is currently undergoing anincreasingly aggtessive
purge byvaribus groups and. organizations which are always terribly "concerned" about anything and everything. Sex is bad. Gay sex, well- that's justworse. \lV'hy? Well, according to the stereotypes, a gay man can walk into a building and get laid within half an hour, so since we can have more sex more often, we've got to be more evil somehow. Gay marrillge is bad - it gives the stamp of approval to gay sex (whichis bad, in case you've forgoi:ten). Even solo sex is bad, you know -and one of the original reasons for the widespread use ofcircumcision was to curb little boys from "oiling up the bishop." Sex, the oldest institution, is slowly being sterilized to the point where sex education has been reduced to, "It's just bad, mmm'kay? Sex is dirty. You'll become diseased and die. Wait until you have theInagic antidote: marriage." The kickeris,ofcourse,thatitdoesn'i work. Tell a child that they should not, underanycitcumstances, do something and chances are they'll have done it
before you've even managed to leave the room. This holds true with teens too, as a recent studi in Texas showed thatteenagers' sexual activity actually increased by a rather obvious amount after abstinence education classes. So "severe" is this rising tide of sexual purging in the U.S. that it has become outright illegal to sell "genital stimulating devices" in such care-free states as Alabama, Texas, Louisiana, Georgia and Tennessee. Yup, ladies (and men), those vibrating pseudo-phalluses are destroying society as we know it. Just ask the Supreme CouttwhoupheldAlabama's ban, when said (m 'about as many words) that sex toys are the "gateway drug" to incest and prostitution. For shame! Of course, this administration shouldknowwhatthey'retalkingabout After all, it's only recently that something shady has come to lightab~utthe \lV'hite House press corps - more so than the usual accusations of liberally biased media and outright punditry. It
tumsoutthatonememberofthepress core, a hardcore anti-gayneo-con who was a regular in the \Xlhite House on daily press passes, was allowed entry under a pseudonym. The reason for the false name becomes clearwhen youconsiderthatJeff Gannon (akaJames Guckert) sidelined as agaymaleprostitute, openlyadvertising his services on several militarythemed websites for $1 ,200 a weekend. Yes, an individual engaged in ongoing illegal activity is secretly ushered into a knife's throw of Bush, bypassing the typicalsecutity checks-and he's even allowed to ask questions of Bush him-
selÂŁ \lV'hich allieads to the question: who was blackmailing whom to gethiminto the \lV'hite House press room for over two years? \lV'ho was getting "personal gratification" out of watching his own (ttn)personal sex toy pose questions to the president ofthe United States? What does the "moral majority" think about the possibility of their glorious leaders being involved in sleazy sex scandals?
But, really, the question I'm more interested inis why on Earth are people so bunched up aboutsomethingwhich, when you strip away all the societal mumbo-jumbo, is nothing more then a simple exchange offluids? It's sexnot quantun:). theory. This has all happened before, of course and it all resultedin what is pininglyreferred to as the "sexual revolution." So, where are we headed? The sexually sterile future Of chemical castration and cloning, or sexual revolution version 2.0? Personally, I'mhoping for the latter - because, really, it shouldn't matter who you slept with or how or what various objects you used in the process. We shouldn't be so hung up with these labels that declare who we're attracted to and what we like doing 'with (or to) those individuals. Relax: embrace your inner Sue Johnson, stock up on Astroglide, pick up a Hitachi Magic Wand and go to town. It's just sex. gbarclay@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
International men's day? ICclun:selclrs: Cornbilned childcare/teaching. Must be able to teach or lead one or more foillowinil activities: gymnastics, tennis, swim, sail, canoe, water ski, arts I~:~~~~~.~~ glass, sewing, jewelry, wood, photo), dance, music, theatre, archery, II trips, field sports, equestrian. Workers: including openings for kitchen, laundry, housekeeping, secretaries, maintenance & grounds, and kitchen supervisor. Non-smokers. June 18 to August 25. Attractive salary (US) plus travel allowance. Applications and photo gallery are available on our website: w"t.kilpp1eVl,a.com or contact us at the numbers listed below for a staff
triggersignificantchange,andthatthere may exist a few reasons to protest that are completely unrelated to the perceived sexuality of children's cartoon
characters.
IKiPPE!Wa, Box 340, Westwood, Massachusetts, 02090-0340, U.S.A. tel: 781-762-8291 I fax: 781-255-7167
As I sat at the family dinner table, lost in thought over the happenings this week.- from the Beirut protests over continued Syrian presence in the region (triggered by the killing of a former prime minister Hariri of Lebanon), to the resignation of Bolivian President Mesa (also triggered by protests by poor indigenous citizens) - three thoughts aroSe: First, it's interesting that every once in awhile, we're reminded by passionate people that protests can indeed
Second, it's nice to see countries like Bolivia and Lebanon making the news, letting everyday folk leam their geographiclocation, the name oftheircapital, whether they havea president, prime minister, or supreme ruler - all without dropping a single bomb (come on, 'fess up, you'd never heard ofplaces like Kosovo, Fallujah, or Kabul until they showed up on those niftyCNN maps). Third, how despite all ofthese major world goings-on, the abrasively highp{tched voice of the chirpy radio commentatorfavoured by my parents could only focus her inane commentary on the question of"why isn't there a l\len's
Day?" And Bob help me, I stopped to consider her question. You see, I'm writing this on March the 8th, International Women's Day. Despite the distractingly loud pounding in my ears (I am but a mere mortal '\vith aural paths not designed for decibellevels I'm convinced only canines could tolerate), the sage answer she dispensed to her own question somehow slipped past my defenses. Namelythatifthere's a ~.omen's Day, there should be aMen's Day, too. On the surface, I could sec Sister Shrill's point. To many of us in the developed world, \'';-omen's Day must seem aremnant from the past, obsolete, behind the times. See WOMYN, page 12
TALES fROM TIE SEX SlOP
SUltDIEB
Wow. I""k al Ihi,
.JOBS COLLEGE PRO PAINTERS is presently looking for responsible/hardworking university or college students for: Part-time Marketing Positions . (March/April) Full-!ime Painting POSitions (May to August) - no
experien~e
PomAgain ViOl-'\) Rental",
required,..,
Positions available throughout Ontario. If interested call...
1-888-.77-9787 Porn Aj,lain R"'lltab
Vhli~o
Porn <\gain Vi(}.::o R(;Htals
1
FRIDAY. MARCH 11, 2005
..
Ing e ind the scenes at ed all's ussell eters. show
Two sold-out shows later, Russell Peters has left his mark on campus (be> side the Peter Russell rock garden of course) and what events they were. l\1any ofyou watched the event and enjoyed it. Others, like aDVD special features section, want to know more. For you products of the information age I have decided to feed your obsession and give you my observations ffom the events: Russell brings his own supporting cast to his gigs. The opening act, Jay Martin, has been in standup comedy for only six months. Six months! He looked like a seasoned veteran up there and talking to him further gave me that impression. Before comedy he was in the music business and made a pretty good run of it. I believe Jay is a friend of Peter's from Brampton. Both he and his opening act showed up at Fed Hall at about 8:30 p.m. on both nights. Peters pulled up in a Lcxus SUV with five giggling girls as they hopped out ofthe car. Needless to
say I fully understand why ht: was late. Russell, in person, is pretty much like he is on stage - while talking\-vith us after the show he still used his accents and cracked jokes (picture him using the Indian accent to imitate his mom getting mad at him for picking her up late that night). He also explained that he actually does get annoyed when people tty and record him on digital cameras, which is part of the reason why he points them out during his set (the other reason being it makes them look like a moron). A funny moment came when I heard a conversation Russell was having with a couple of brown CS students who were trying to convince him that they could build his website for him in a couple of days. Only at UW. People have been saying that the routine he used at UW is not as funny as his "Comedy Now!" special - I tend to agree, although it was still funny enough to make me cry and pee at the same time. Unless you're a part of it or have planned one yourself, nobody really knows how much planning goes into an event 0 f this magnitude. The Crew worked so many hours on planning and promoting these two events that all of the team members probably lost
How to talk to a neo-con bitch?
five per cent of their overall average for the term (don't try thi.s at home). The Crew's vision throughout the whole thing was to provide an event unlike any seen at U\'{7 before. The streetteam out.side doing con"tests, the scrolling ads before the show and the fantastic trailers we.re aU parr of the experience and made it better. I guarantee you \Vestern didn't even come close in presentation (besides possibly the presentation of plastic and silicone in the audience). On the same topic, nobody really knows the amount of stress Feds marketing and the campus bar programmer go through until the show is over. I don't know how Dave and l\1arc don't have grey hairs sticking out everywhere (okay fine, I don't know how Marc doesn't). Without them this show wouldn't have happened, plain and simple. I can honestly say that after these shows that I have found my calling in life: event planning. Unfortunately all that time invested in normal distribution and, simplex methods will rot in the abyss that is my waning long-term memory. We hope you enjoyed the shows, because we enjoyed putting them together. aocal@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Education simply forced upon children
To tbe editor,
To tbe editor,
In Tom Levesque's Febmary25 article he quotes several passages in his glowing review of Ann Coulter's book How To Talk To A Liberal. Levesque has inspired me to share some of Ms. Coulter's other notable quotes. In the N(l/ional&viewon Septembe.r13,2001 she wrote, "We should invade their countries, kill their lead ers and convert them to Christianity." On June 20, 2001, she said on Fox News, "God gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees. God said, Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It's yours." And then there's the time she said, "People like you caused us to lose that war" to a disabled Vietnam Vet on MSNBC. My personal favourite is when she said, "Clinton masturbates in the sinks" on Rivera I.ive August 2, 1999. Perhaps a liberal should write a book caned "How To Talk To a N eo-con Bitch."
In the Reading Week edition of Irnprill!, I was very much amused by the column written by Andrew Dilts. At the end, in particular, I found myself relating the article to Plato's Apology with Andrew's injury at others "putting words in his mouth." Besides my amusement in actually relating a current writing to Plato, I think the column astutely voices a deficiency of student engagement in classes. Personally, I believe this comes from being taught in the schoolinstitutton, for while education was once pursued for the love of knowledge, now it is forced upon children. While it may be in their bestinterestto know things, it removes the driving force of curiosity from most children, making them "parrot the information." Oh yeah, and what about the quote from'Einstein? I dare say that it's precious. It's going on my wall. Good job, .Andrew - keep up the good work.
m
I
-LteHams 1B plmmiltg
- Peter Tanner 4B cotffputer science
More LETTERS, page 12
of physicality and your relations
\Iid}
mi3.f~--
hmv things
tim,,;. Be it how quickly a sphere taIls, the of a popu1'ltion or the speed \'.~ih which achernicaln.'aL-rs, . all scientists
observe rates. \'!i/e then turn our data .into pn:ttJ'litde graphs anddtc'amabout things might be the way they ate. this in mind and me? Because this week I want to talk ahouta.rate thatshouid beofinterestto absolutely everyone: the rate at which the physical component ofa romantic relationship changes. Not the emotional bonding, not the long saga of events leading up to the, open acknowledgementof said relationship. Just the "hey, we're dating no\-,?' and the (for lack of better words) sexually-natured event, that happen afterwards. You probably have a good idea of what I mean by sexually-natured -- though many of you kiss your mothers, I doubt you play tonsil hockey with them. Ofcourse, if many ofyour relationships beg,m \\>1th you waking up naked nc,'Ct to someone you had recently swapped two or more bodily fluids with, much of what I have to say tl"lis week probably won't apply to you! In my ([cough] limited) personJl experience and my ~,:ompara颅 ViCLiiiotfJ dating experience, the rate of physicality (ROP) is
Note that ROPisrclated to, but not the same as, There are man-ied, chiHproducingcouples (read: they had sex, probably more than the reql.:risite once) that aren't affectionate in public at all. Public affection also has huge potential to bea politic,lli~suewith homosex-ual couples. \Xihile the two topics 路are related and both have the potential to be polarizing, they are not the same.
Remember your first romantic relationship, or as the verb may be, imagine. (I'm not making any assumptions. ) Rate of physicality tends to depend on one's datinghistoty. Rememberyour first romantic relationship, or as the verb may be, (I'm not making any assumptions.) Odds are you ,-vere in your early tecn years and it took much longertugetto that first kiss than the one in a ne\\' relationship today. At the same time, aU of d1ese little events were more significant. Nowadays your brain prob-
person to person, ROP tends to he the more often this ~!:'xual road has been travelled. If the numbt'r of notches on shuuld be countedin scientific notation, thewhole sex thingv.'on't be as big a deal to you as it is to those virgins in CS. (I I kid.) In addition, convictions temper the ROP, Some people will al路 ways want to take it slow. Some people view sex as sacred. Some view sex as an entertaining way to pass the time. I may not have said anything that iSll'tobvious toyoualrL--ady but aU ofthis ,vas worth mentioning. Even if this is obvious, most people tend to that theil'partnel' has adiffe:rentdestred ROP than thcrn..;.;elves. Leavi.ng this 15sucunatrended cancau..<;ea shcl'JIDgforce in a relationship. Maybe Wh('1:l we're in our40s our sexual histories \.\.111 be more similar and this \'lon't be as great an issue. But here in university we have manyyoungpeopleminglingfrbmmany diverse backgrounds--, it's entirelypossible that the religious conservative guy ",111 end up -,-,-ith the girl who totally banged four guys in her last year ofhigh schooL (Unlikely, but I'v-e seen simiL'lt relationships form and expectedly fail.) Though you may feel dorky for doing so, this is an in1portant point for discussionil1 a "serious" (read: not "t1avourofthe month') rehtionshiii Communication i,-important and your relationship will be SOlU1der if you botb know vlherc you St:U1J. mdavenport@imprint.llwaterioo.ca
a summer s,~ssion course at Carleton in Ottawa. Ivlexil.le and COl[lvE~mjmt .are an(l in classrooms o-n" our cutv chan:neI. Wni:ltevul' (,k'llrSe you dH)OSe into scbed:ul{~, leaving time the beach, a joh. k:v'eTything you need to know on our Web site, Just log on and follow
instmcti.ons, then
Summer
(mjny the SlID. way to a
out and
fu:ready on your
registrar@cadeton.ca un3) 520*3500
12
FRIDAY, MARCH 11, 2005
SIOCI AND AWE so, I'VE GOTTA ASK - ARE YOU AWARE YOU HAVE AN EAGLE ON YOUR HE
)
.----
/
NESTING. HE CHECKED
THE CLASSIFIEDS AND I'M THE ONLY IN HIS PRICE RANGE.
PLUS UTILITIES. DUDE IT' 5 JUST A HEADI
$50 A
Womyn: Still many suffering throughout the world Continu~
from page 10
I remember a particularly heated "discussion" (we don't have arguments here, dear, we have "discussions'') in a computer science course newsgroup,ofallplaces;whereamale student was flabbergasted as to what more women could possiblywantweren't we equal enough? Weren't women already equal in the eyeS'ofthe law? Couldn't women already vote? Weren't women already making it to the upper echelons of academia and business? I'd argue that despite all of these great strides (which is part of what Women's Day is supposed to celebrate), there are still women's issues left to be tackled - and I don't mean the superficial, frivolous issues such as It semantic change from "women" to "womyn." I mean genuinely important issues like child care, equal pay, access to birth control (fexas House Bill 16,introduced by Republican Frank Corte, would allow pharmacists to deny the pill to patients - something a few pharmacists tried last year, citing religious beliefs) and domestic vio. lence (specifically, law enforcement's sometimes perfunctory treatment of domestic violence and stalking cases) , to name just a few. But perhaps the real key to International Women's Dayis theintemational part. It's easy for those of us living in North America and other developed regions 'to forget that the strides mentioned above don't extend throughout the world. While it's great that in lands formerly ruled by the notoriously cruel and brutally misogynistic Taliban, Afghan women got to vote in their last elections (on tickets with women candidat~s, no less), universal Ivliddle
III III
Eastern women's suffrage and other rights are still but a far-off fantasy for most,Women in places like Saudi Arabia are still struggling to get a foothold up the slippery mountain on the way to Equality Summit, In Sudan, where so many are suffering unimaginably, women are especially vulnerable. A women's issue there is not so much suffrage as safety, protection from the rampant epidemic ofgang-rape and the resultingpregnancies (which can, ironically, lead to jail time), stigma, and violence, That the practice offemale circumcision (more accurately described as female genital mutilation, a process not at all analogous to male circumcision, that can involve crude stitching of the labia and clitoral excision) contiriues still in our world is a reminder of how certain societies still treat women, legislation or not. Even in places like China, where women are more-or-less legally equal, there are still cultural issues, like the abandonment of baby girls who are perceived as less desirable than boys (a big issue in China where thereis the one-child policy). And these are but a few examples - there arc:! countless more. So while the women's liberation movement is but a historical footnote to many North Americans who regularly sit in co-ed classrooms, boardrooms, mo~e theatres (in fact,
I don't think I've ever had to specify "co-ed", it's~ the norm - it'd be like specifying a water fountain as "all races"), there do still exist serious women's issues both within but especially beyond our borders. Insofar as designated days such as "International Women's Day" can draw attention to irpportant issues that disproportionately effectparticu1ar groups (and I know, I have trouble with this idea too - that half of a population is coq.sidered a special group), they're useful. If that's whatit takes to be reminded of issues that don't make the news regularly, I'm all fork As fo.! designating an IntemationalMen'sDay, we11, why not? I'm all for equality and there are issues specific to men, though they tend not to be legislative, economic or traditional. The ways in which men are persecuted are, I suspect, somewhat less obvious. But hey, by all means men, have at it. I know how you men get around this time of the month.* There there, honey. *A psychologist on CNN today identified IMS (Irritable Male's Syndrome) as the male-equivalent of PMS. While I have no evidence of the validity of this condition, I'm glad to fmally'have an explanation for male mood swings and a ready come-back whenever a man gets "difficult." slywong@imprint.uwaterloo,ca
~:JO..Hovr~
Missile defence useless To the editor, I rarely become upset, but Tom Levesque's article about Canada being a wimp for not agre<!ing with the' American Ballistic Missile Defence (BMD) issue pissed me off. First off Tom, you claim that the Canadians that opposed the BMD issue opposed it because the Americanswantitso therefore Canada does not. Last time I ever wrote anything, I was required to cite where I got the info from. I guess you forgot to h!ave that out of your article, Good luck becoming a professional writer anyway! In Mark Johnson'S article, he seemed to bring up many good points and was anle to back them up. (M:aybe give him a call; he might be able to give you some pointers.) You say Canada is dependent on the United States for defence and trade, This may be true, but so IS the statement that the U.S. is dependent on Canada and every other country in the world. ~. Yes Tom, sorry to be the one to let you in on the secret, but the U.S. does rely on many other resources other than itself. Still interested in moving in with George Dub? I know you feel like Canada is a wimp but as you said, 54 pet cent opposed the B1ID (this is called a majority - means that more people disagree with youD and to date Canada has been a respected country that has no . history of outside terrorist violence. So why the fuck would we invest in a program thatpresentlywe do not need? Protection? \y{'hy? It is "this ideology ~hat is going to be the fuel for nuclea.rwars. Get rid ofweapons rather than produce more of them. In conclusion, Canada has decided to be a peaceful nation and majority want it to stay that way.
- Paul AlcKinnon 4A llJechanical engimering
P - . TesÂŤ-Tak1ft3 s~
IIIP~P~I~ III Co~ III
Study MawIah SImulated Pi'1Ktke ÂŁx-
Watch your quotes!
III Free R~'-oIIey III III
Penonallutorhta Available 1kousands of Sadsfied Students
To the editor,
. Oxford Seminars 1-800-269-6719 416-924-3240
www.oxfordseminars.cont
"Its great, bein' able to get all dressed up nice like this.'"
In the February 25th issue of Imprint, Graham Barclay hinged his article "LGBT canon of literature," on a paraphrase ofRolandBarthes-afme
act and one that would definitely add to his ethos ifhe had done so correctly. Roland Barthes, however, did not say that you should "look to the author." In fact, Roland Barthes said that to "give a text an author is to impose a limit on that text." I do not think that this idea is what Barclay wanted to assert. In his essay, ''The Death of the Author," Roland Barthes argues that "the reader is the space on which all the quotations that make up a writing are inscribed without any of them being lost; a text's unity lies not in its origin but in its destination." In other words it is the reader, not the author, who creates meaning in a text. Drawing upon important theorists such as Roland Barthes can be a'tertificway to establish credibility and increase support for your own arguments, but misquoting them will have the opposite effect. Just look at what misquoting Roland Barthes does for Barclay's article. If I as a reader am going to be concerned that the authors Barclay draws upon are gay writers, I need to accept Barclay's Hrst premise - that the author is important. However, Barclay's Hrst premise falls apart the minute he misquotes Roland Barthes. \X!hat does the reader do with his argument now? So I oiferthis suggestion to Barclay and other writers who attempt to use quotations to sUflport their arguments: please quote corre~tly! - Jessie Qtliftn 2B RPIf/ and speech COllllll!ll1icatiol1s
Coulter has strange wittiness To the edifo;; In a recent column, Tom Levesque described Ann Coulter as "hilarious and witty" when discussing her book HOII' to Talk to a Liberal. In one patticulat comic gem from a fewycars ago, Coulter is quoted as saying "My onlyregret about Tim .McVeigh is that he didn't bomb the offices oftheNeJI! York Times. " It is little wonder that those who fmd this comical require a guide to communicate with others. -
fFCllrm Clarke
2B political science and history
13
FRIDAY, MARCH 11, 2005
Is Canada safe? To the editor, The Bl'vID issue has raised the issue of whether Canada is safe from terrorist attacks. Well, ever since Canada joined the war on terror, good 01' Osamahas been ranting on and on. Unfortunately for Canada, we're on his hitlist. Despite what Canadians want to believe - that Canada is peace loving and we do not go off into crazy wars like the Yanks do - the thing is that Canada is in the thick of this. Canada sent a battalion to Afghanistan for Operation Enduring Freedom. Canada is still in Kabul under ISAF and is going to expand its mission in Afghanistan when the PRT (provincial Reconstruction Team) is going to be sent to Kandahar. I do not think Osama would be pleased '.vith Canada, considering we would be preventing his Taliban buddies from taking back power. What about Iraq? The Canadian military had soldiers attached to various coalition units as part of an exchange, although in very small numbers. The Canadian navy ran a blockade in the Persian Gulf, in conjunction with other nations, to prevent terrorists from getting stuff, which also happens to have a blockade effect on Iraq. Canada sent Elections Canada officials tp Iraq to supervise the recendy held elections. Canada may be sending a small number of soldiers to help train Iraqi soldiers in Jordan. I do not think Osama appreciates that kind of stuff. Mark Johnson compares Canada with Andorra and Iceland. Let's consider the fact that Canada is a G7 nation, while Andorra and Iceland are rather negligible. Iceland is part of NATO, so during the Cold War, NATO had a lot of military based in Icelandwhichhad agreat strategic value. I do not know exacdy why Mr. Johnson thinks Canada is safe from terrorist wackos, but to me, Osama and his buddies have plenty of reasons to try to hurt Canadians.
- Sang Ik Bang 2Barts
Fed up with offensive Burger King commercials To the editor, Firsdy, I have a very hard time believing what you get at Burger I<ing is "food." Thatthing isn't food. Food is supposed to be eaten slowly. Patiently. Not "fast." Now that I have that rant out of the way, I can go on to describe what nearly gave me a breakdown the moment I saw it on TV. The advertisement for this damn burger features men showing their affection toward cows. One can say that the producer of the advertisement must've watched some kind of weird cow porn before coming up with the idea of shooting a commercial with a man and cow sleeping in the same bed and then
man whispering "I love you honey." The cow then replies with "Mooo." Ok, maybe I should describe the three commercials they have. Commercial 1: A guy is reading a book in bed. He puts down the book, turns off the light, looks to his side and whispers "I love you." A cow tail hits him on the side. Commercial 2: A guy is having a romantic dinner and he is making pathetic small talk like, "So - you like the country? Yeah so do I." He drops the fork, he bends down to get it and slightly looks towards the legs of his company. The camera shows cow legs. Commercial 3: A guy comes home and says, "Honey! I got you these." He is holding flowers. A cow eats his flowers. All three commercials end with, "For real beef lovers, Burger King created the Steak Burger with 100 per cent beef." Now just in case you didn't know this, burger meat is made of dead animals. To be honest, I'm not sure if burgers are made with cockroaches or beef or soy or something. In either case yes, unless you are eating a burger without meat, you are eating dead animals. So what's wrongv;ith those commercials? Are we supposed to eat what we love? Oh just in case you want to date me - to warn you, I've been advised that I should eat the person I say "I love you" to. The way I see it, the guys tell those cows they love them and then slash their necks open and cook them. So, right-if that is not ironic, thenitis swiss cheese without the cheese. Oh my God, that commercial made me angry. It is an insult to people who train their bodies to become vegetarians. That is real animal love. Burger l<ing - by showing animal affection and then advertising their eating is being not only offensive but also disgustingly bizarre.
-ShivPassi lBarts
Double standard in residence allocation To the editor, Every year when thousands of firstyear university students apply for residences spaces, they fill out a questionnaire, detailing their preferences for sleeping patterns, cleanliness, study habits and smoking preference. These questionnaires are then apparently used to place roommates and suitemates, in order for best fit placements to occur. However, when upper-year students apply for the coveted few remainingresidence spots, the only question they are asked on their application is whether they will consent to live in a mixed-gender unit. Why the double standard in allocating residence spots? Has it been found that upper-year students are not concerned with their roommates' preferences and practices? I personally do not see why there is a difference between first-year and upper-year placement in residence.
Granted, upper-year students are guaranteed a single room in either Minota Hagey, CLV or in one of the suite style residences on campus and that suitemate preferences and practices are not as important in these circumstances as it would be if you were placed in a double room, I still feel that preferences are important. Wouldn't knowing that your roommates have similar cleanliness practices, study habits and sleeping patterns to you, enable for a better residence stay and eliminate potential problems, such as whose turn it is to take out the trash? Other universities across Canada use questionnaires for both first-year and upper-year residence placements and I strongly advise UW to consider adopting the same practices. Ifyou do, you might find that you have a lot more content upper-year residence students.
- Kim Gni1lJJJOod 2A environmental studies and business
MS contributes nothing to video gaming To the editor, \'{;'ell,he'sdoneit. Tim Alamenciak, in his 1-Up column, has crossed the line. First is that article about the death of computer games. That line has been used almos t as much as the one about the end of the world. But his most recent article he claims that "Microsoft (MS) is the reason video games are mainstream! You've gotta be kidding me! Let's run things down a bit:
1) Biggest sports game producer: Electronic Arts (EA) Games 2) Big games to use pop music: Need For Speed Series, EA I bet MS's involvement in music is a direct relation to Need For Speed: Under;ground 3) Big party games: Super Bomberman, Goldenrye, (Nintendo) Dance, Dance Revolution 4) Big party console: N64 (Nintendo) 5) Big advertisment console campaign: Dreamcast (Sega). FinalFantaD' VII (Sony) All these predate Xbox by a long shot. ButXbox blew video gaming into the mainstream, right? No! What happened, then? For one thing, the original video-game children grew up. They're making money and they're carving their ways into popculture. But why didn't a similar thing happen to the chess nerds? Well, funny story. There's this little thing called the compu ter that has revolutionized the world and made millionaires of many a video-gaming nerd. Second, the video game industry is just growing up. It's only like, 40 years old. And it's been huge in Asia for the longest time. As it matures and gives fat American youth stimulation faster and more regularly than normal sports, it can only grow in market growth and penetration. What did MS do? MS ain't no innovator, ain't no trailblazer. All they are is a 900-lb gorilla jumping on the band-wagon. They may take up a lot of seats, but they aren't
changing the course. P.S. For the Valentine's article, how could he forget puzzle games and DDR? These gotta be the most popular with the ladies.
-Alan Wong 3A math and computer science
"Oink, oinkl" To the editor, UW students are pigs. This is evident from the mass of debris that one encounters in the SLC's Great Hall at the end of every day. The lounge area is habitually strewn with garbage and refuse ofevery description, deposited by students who converge in the lounging area over meals. They buy their over-packaged foods and beverages, consume them and then abandon the remains on and around the table tops, making it unpleasant, if not impossible, for people to use the space after them. Fortunately for all of us, an "invisible" workforce of custodians and other cleaning staff work thanklessly in the evenings to restore the SLC to an acceptable condition, only so thatit can be trashed again the next day - and so the cycle continues. It takes only a few seconds to discard your rubbish into the various waste and recycle bins that line the Great Hall. Itis an obvious courtesy to all who share that public space, yet one that has seemingly fallen to the wayside.
- Annabel O,!),ango ERS Alumnus
i----fa-i:itti;-~;;:-----!
! ];~~
~
I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I
~
~ Carry Out Only ~~
465 PHILLIP STREET LOCATION ONLY UMITEDTIME OFFER
746 6893 _
! I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I II I
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
B ! Blurt!
'_a lukllle . . IIv1d11_
-JIll 17
arts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Arts' editors rock out and get wasted Thursday night's show at the Grad House proved to be the greatest day of the arts' editors' lives Ian Blechschmidt and Dave George-Cosh IMPRINT STAFF
Last Thursday, the Grad House had arguably the best Thursday band lineup in years. Promoted in part with CKrvfS (100.3 Fl'v1), criticallyacclaimed bands Final Fantasy and Creeping Nobodies headlined, and Imprint attended in full force. Below are the remains of the random scribblings and somewhat incongruous observations made by our two sexy arts editors, Ian and Dave. This is their story. No animals were hurt during the sequence of events which follows. Of course, we can't verify what happened after the night was over - both Ian and Dave were pretty drunk. 10:05 - Arrive at Grad House to relentless, cacaphonic noise jam, courtesy of opening band, nIfty. Dave immediately notes use of theremin, promptly reminds Ian that they get their weekly dose of theremin from their Film Music class and suggests an alternative to watching painful and uruneIodic art jazz. 10:06-Imprintstaffleaves concert area to start Scrabble game upstairs. 10:24-Ian scores a 45-pointword with "seven." Ian swears vengenceafter opponents mock his poor math skillz. 10:50-Scrabble game paused and all attending Itnprint staff returned to concertareaasTenthofMaytakessrnge. Tenth of May lays down grunge-influenced solo guitar work - so far, so good. Mo (the camera guy) elbows his way to the front of the stage and takes some photos. 11:07 - Tenth of May joined on stage by "robots." "Robots" prove to be drummer and reasonably cute bass player. Reasonably cute bass player proves too distracting for Ian. Ian forced to withdraw from critical analysis of Tenth of May and fixates all attention on aforementioned bassist.
11:15-Davenotesnoxiousodour emitted by unidentified audience member. (Hypothesis-odouremanating from girl standing in front of Dave.) Odour proves too distracting for Dave. Dave forced to withdraw from critical analysis ofTenth of May and tries to find some air. 11: 18 - Mo is the only one left to provide critical analysis of Tenth of l'vIay. Mo's assessment: "It's alright." 11:20-IanandDaverecoverfrom distractions long enough to rock out to killerouttoon Tenth ofMay's closing song. Dave and Ian note prowess of drummer and comment on witnessingwhatmay be the second comingoillave GrohL Assessment: Tenth of May deserves medal for bringing back grunge without making it suck.
1 :07 - All agree that only words such as "killer," "annihilate" and urinefizz"'may be used to describe Grad House show.
11 :35 - Dave and Ian purchase another beer, this time trying out the Grad House's infamous stout, the Imperial Scrabble becomes instantly funner and, strangely enough, more violent. 11 :52 - Creeping Nobodies hit the stage and Ian compares them to Interpol with girls and personality. TGuns, a friend of the editors, comments that the drummer looks an awful lot like Bubbles from Trailer Park Bqys. T-Guns also shows editors his grotesquely swollen knee. Dave compares the awesomeness of TGuns'knee to the CreepingNobodies.
Mo elbows his way to the front of the stage and takes some photos. 12:20 - Mo and Ian are so impressed by the sheer, out-of-control rock that is the Creeping Nobodies that theygo ahead and buy their CDs. Dave has no money to buy CDs but has enough money for more beer. Imprint staff continues to play Scrabble but excess alcoholpreventsanywordslonger than two letters from being played. 12:32 - Final Fantasy, Owen Pallett's solo project, makes way onto stage. Ian's and Dave's jaws drop as Pallett mesmerizes the Grad House with his virtuoso violin playing and innovative looping techniques. After Pallett banters about his new album and accompanies himsetfon violin, Ian develops a strong man-crush. Dave is creeped out. Mo elbows his way to the front of the stage and takes some photos. Pallettexplainseightlevelsofmagick in Dungeons and Dragons. Ian is now infatuated and confused. 1:03-FinalFantasy'sencoreends to wild applause. Itnprint staff return upstairs to finish drunken Scrabble . game. "'Ctimpex" and"Rine6zz" added to Oxford English dictionary (definitions: pending). Dave, who is an engineer, wins Scrabble game and mocks Ian, who is an English major. Dave celebrates his victory by tapping iron ring on pint glass until it breaks, resulting in Itnprint staffs expulsion from Grad House. Itnprint staff agrees that this is for the best, as too much rock of such high calibre can be hazardous. Dave notes that his penis has never been so rock hard at a concert. Ian is creeped out. 1:07 - All agree that only words such as "killer," "annihilate" and "rinefizz" maybe used to describe Grad House show. Assessment: best show in history of universe. End of log. MOHAMMAD JANGOA
ianb@imprint.uwaterloo.ca dgeorgec@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
The Creeping Nobodies pulled out all the stops last Thursday during their performance at the Grad House.
MS@!ifi1lplilnt.mvaterl400.ca for a
1.lJber!Y Records:. 2. See EmilY Plqy. 3. 1970. 5. Liam Howlett, Knth Flint, Maxim Reality lbt,m/Jifll. 6. Hefound Jehus. 7. HejllSl is.
15
FRIDAY. MARCH 11, 2005
Bellissimo! Mambo Italiano cooks up a winner on stage
Weleome,
~o
Rebecca Temmer IMPRINT STAFF
If he's that well dressed he must be gay, or Italian, or in the case ofAngelo Barbieri - both. Waterloo Stage's production of Mambo Italiano follows the sometimes tortured and often hilarious ordeal of a 30-something sitcom writer from Montreal coming out to his old-world Italian parents, and the not always predictable aftermath. Mambo sets up a host ofcontroversial issues as Angelo, played by the appropriately dreamy Frank Chiesutin, is convinced by his pill-popping older sister Anna (Lucy Filippone) that he should tell their parents about the true nature of his relationship with his 'roommate' Nino (Phil Luzi). It's a modem story, told from an Italian point of view, of an old-fashioned family ha";ling to come to grips .vith homosexuality in their household. To complicate matters for the Barbieris, Nino's mother LinaPaventi (SusanJohnston Collins) is a haughty, prunish Italian widow who is constantlyat odds with Angelo's parents, trying to one-up them. Lina, in attempts to hurry her son and his lover through this 'gay phase,' tries to set Angelo up with Pina Lunetti (Melissa D'Agostino) - a big-haired, loudrJbdthcll'nite Italian girl.' Somehow, things don't work out as planned. The play tries to accumulate every Italian stereotype in one character or ~e~ sometimes leaving the audience overwhelmed by these colourful people. Occasionally, the jump between comedy and dramatic terisionis a little jolting but with such lively and emotional characters the script mostly gets away with the stark juxtapositions. One thing that the script does not pull off very well is the handful of soliloquies that are thrown in here and
University Shops Dental Clinic New Patients Welcome - Walk-in & Emergencies All your dental needs in a comfortable and relaxing atmosphere.
Dr. Wally Akkila, DDS 160 University Ave., W., Waterloo 888-9998 (comer of Phillip & University)
Mk.
SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
I think Russell Peters' shows are like paintballing - everyone goes in knowing they'll take a few shots to the junk, but expecting they'll dish out more than they'll take in. Peters brings people together by ripping them apart - and it works incrediblywell. People of all ethnicities give him permission to exploit stereotypes because he's just so fucking good at it. And with two sold-out shows this month at Fed Hall, he's going to have lots of opportunity to prove it. This past Monday was the first of these shows, and Peters didn't disappoint. Doug Funk was the first comic introduced. Hewas officially given title ofMC which basically meant he did a couple of five-minute sets in between the two other comics. I remember laughing at his material, whatever it was about. I guess he was a good
a.bout
OWl ~;tuden;t
cLiAc.ount!
Mambo Italiano - how to be a gay Italian and get away with it. there. They seem awkward and contrived for a play that is so much about the interactions between people, but the actors do a fair job of talking to themselves in reflective plot filler. The charactersarereallywhat drive the entire show. My personal favourite was AngelO's gru.tnblingand gracious father Gino Barbieri, played by Tony Desantis, whose comic timing is so fantastic that his quips seem improvised rather than scripted. Casey Kneller, who plays opposite Desantis as Gino's wife Anna, also does a wonderful job conjuring up the old world guilt and effusiveness that has plagued Angelo's entire life as he sees it. The welI-ciressed set, anothercreative contrivance of Stephen Degenstein's, has a full revolve splitting the tacky Barbieri dining room at right with Angelo and Nino's
leather-clad apartment stage left. The revolve is a necessary evil for staging this multi-Iocational piece, but it becomes a bit cumbersome at points, slowing down the action and leavingthe audience hanging longer than is strictly comfortable. If you liked the movie version of Mambo Italiano, go see the stage version - it's vastly more entertaining. If you haven't seen themovie,go see the stage version - you'll thank yourself for the treat when the house lights go down and the lively cast sweeps onto the stage and into your heart For more information, contact the WaterlooStageBoxOfficeat24KingSt N.(rightbesidetheSilverSpur),phone 888-0000, or check out the website at www.watetloostagetheatte.com.
addition to the bill but I can'timagine how it was worth his while to be there. Russell Peters came on to a very warmwelcome.I'mprettyfamiliarwith Peters' comedy, so I know the
That's what makes (Peters) such a class act - his ability to make you laugh at things you shouldn't be laughing at. excitement he was met with was watranted. He has agreatstagepresence, likely drawn from years of stand-up expetience.Hehadafewclichedjokessome cuts at George W., high school sports and even some material on
Indoor Units * ALL SIZES * Heated
$20.00 .. $29.95 .. $39.95 .. $44.95 and up Call Harry at:
. . . SAn STORAGE 136 Moore Ave., S., WATERLOO
.7......
rtemmer@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Russell Peters skewers all audience members Andrew King
!L6
Napoleon Dynamite, the guy that all of your unfunny friends quote on MSN. Those were all fine and dandy, but Peters is at his best when he dips into theracialcookie jar. That's what makes him such acIass act- hisabilitytomake you laugh at things you shouldn't be laughing at. IfI stood up on a table at theSLC and startedrippingintobrown orAsian people the way he does, people sure as shitwouldn'tgiveme a standing ovation. I'd get my ass kicked Todd Bertuzzi-style. Not only was his act dynamite, but very fresh. I've seen about two combinedhours ofhis material on the Comedy Network and ComedyCentral, and not one single joke was repeated at the show. In fact, a lot ofhis serwas ad-lib and some of the biggest laughs came fromsimpleinteractionwiththecrowd Everyonein theplacewas havingagreat time,includingmysel拢Ifyouevergetthe chance to catch this guy live, go for it, because it was no fluke this show sold out in a few minutes.
Now Renting for September '05 Waterloo Off-Campus Housing (W.O.C.H.)
Quality Service Quality Housing Contact us at
www.rentwoch.com 747路7226
May accommodations now available
16
FRIDAY, MARCH 11, 2005
McMaster University
DIPLOMA IN OCCUPATIONAL IlEALTHAND SAFETY
The sounds of stealth Josh Chong SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
The Program in Occupational Health and Environmental Medicine offers two diploma programs designed to provide basic instruction in the principles of occupational health and safety. The full-time program runs from September to November. The part-time program runs from September to April and is designed for students within commuting distance from Hamilton wishing to continue their normal employment while enrolled in the program. The part-time program is held one day per week, but includes two extended periods of full-time study lasting two weeks. While special consideration will be given to those already in the occupational health field, interested individuals without such experience may also be considered. A relevant university degree or equivalent is generally required. Deadline is March 30, 2005. Information and applications can be obtained by contacting the Program in Occupational Health and Environmental Medicine at (905) 525-9140, ext. 22333 or emailing Jean Bodnar at bodnarj@mcmaster.ca.
Further information available on our website
www.fhs.mcmaster.calpobem
McMaster University
1IIl1llll6lS1 GI18ItJ IIIJ1J1AWRJIIIII_ ~ TIlE IJB1 aNIMAS " KW BY KIIIJ MII&A6IE'
NOW PLAYING WJLlJAM SHAKESPEAIIE'S
g""-'Mercbalit o-{-Venice ;.f
ONI.YAT THE ORIGINAL PRINCESS
CINeMA
PRINCESS TWIN S"r N WATERl ,-J] • H~
UF~OWN
Hands wiIh 1he DevIl (14A) TOday·Thurs 6:45, Sat & Sun 1:45
SIdeways (lBA) Tonight-Thurs 6:45, ,Sat~Smll;;W 1'heAvIator (140\)
Tonight-Thurs 8:30, Sat-Sun 3:30
Meet the Fockera (PG)
Nirfja, or Shinobi, translates into, "one who is concealed" - a fitting description, since their histoty is shrouded in secrecy. Theninja's prefetence forgoing incognito has leftmuch to bedesiredin tenns ofour collection ofhistoricaltruisms. Likewise, themusicaltasteofninjas has, until now, been a topic of wild debateinthemusicalcommunity.Fortunately, a ninja informant has leaked this infonnation witha tracklistingtbatresembles the following playlist.
hands on to assassinate the target, the samewaythissongblastsalistener'seat8 to smithereens.Aclevererninjamaywait until his orhervictim takes a shower and skewerhimorherwithapoisonedicicle. The hot water will melt the murder weapon and the wound maygoahnost unnoticed duringan autopsy. Likewise, theunobservantlistenetmaynotdetect thedancepunkstrummingpattems that lendintensity, originalityand catchiness to the songs fta.mework.
ThePlottoBlow UptheEiffelTower - Exile on Vain Street The only fuel a ninja killing machine needsisagrittymetalcoremanifesto.To refrain from break-dancing during this .. song, a ninja Imleashes a whirlwind o£ shruiken, kunai, proximity mines and whatever he or she can get his or her
Found On the flipside, ninjas cannot be pigeonholed as strictlyviolentindividualso Some ninja sects evolved from shugendo, a style of Buddhism that encouragedtrainingofone's body to achieve enlightenment. What they found inJapan's Naraerawas tranquilitycomparable to the twinkling soundscape of this song. Seishun Kyousoukyoku -Sambomaster A theme song from the ultra-popular anime Nartlto, "Sambomaster" bleeds the excitement and drama one would expect from a village of shinobi The frantic guitar strum, filtered through awah-wah pedal, is irresistible and carries this song with speed and finesse.
Masamichi Amano Requiem,Prologue The common misconception that ninjas listen to Vanilla Ice's "NinjaRap"isa myth perpetuated bypopular Western culture to downplaytheninja's ferocity. This track, from the fiJm.Battie Rqyale, mimics the swelling vocalise found in Carl Orff's "0' Fortuna" and is a sufficientprecursorto the brutal, yet beautiful mayhem a ninja is capable of exerting. This song conveys a real ultimate power that is fit for any ninja.
The Octopus Project- What They
Daft Punk - Human After All An undeniable fact about ninjas is that they are living, breathing mammals; however, it is important that you do not feed the nitgas - do not even look at them. Disobeying this golden rule wilLresult in undesirable consequences. The best-case scenario is that the ninja will play with your limbs as thought they were plasticine, the final creation resembling the synthloops,o£thisDP. ttack; worstcase scenario, decapitation by karate chop
Oouddead - Rifle Eyes A ninja mixtapewould be incompleteun1essithadatrackftomthemusic label, Ninja Tune. "Rifle Eyes" makes the cut here because, aside from the flawless floetry of this avant hiphop group, ninjas have a penchantforinterpreting song titles as a metaphor for some aspectoftheninjadomain: Ninjas, in fact, actually have "Rifle Eyes," an, unsurpassableophthalmologiccunning, only overshadowed by their ability to becomeinvisibJe.tumintoanimals, theit. fashion savvyand efficiencywitha Ginsu.i Yes, ninjas are totally awesome.
Tonight-Thurs 9:15, Sat-Sun 4:15
ORIGINAL PRINCESS r); ' i ; , ',-
~~
':)1 \\'
jr.l1C\'Jr-J
WA1ERLOO
The Merchant of Venice (PG)
The golden age is now
Tonight-Mon 9:15. Tues 6:45
The Incredlbles (PG) Today-Sun 4:30
The Chorus (PG)
TOday-Moo 7:00, Sat-Sun 2:15
The ute AquatIc (14A) Wed-Thurs 9:15
luy your airfare and InsuraMe* to Europe - we'l( BWe the BEST prite and Bet ALL this stuff for
FREEl
The golden age of cornic book movies that is. I'm sure I'm not the only onewho's wondered how long these cornic book flicks will go on for. I honestly thought that the whole thing would begin and end with the fust X-Men movie. It didn't, it just got bigger. Not that I'm complainingasit's all good fun, but what I'm wondering is, when is it going to get better? I thought that it couldn't get any larger than it did when the first Spider-Man movie was released. Once again, I was surprised. It just kept growing. Now I want to say that it feels like things are winding down, but I've learned my lesson. Besides, with Chris Nolan's (Memento, Insomnia) Batman Begins and Brian Singer's
(X2, The Usual Suspects) Superman lilieS on
the horizon, I wouldn't be surprised ifwe reach an entirely new level of superhero movie mania. Personally, I couldn't be happier. True, none of the movies thus far have been particularly good films. In fact, they've been pretty bad filins. The writing is often atrocious and the directors don't seem to know when enough is enough. But that's
not the point. You don't go to see Whilewe don't really expect much something like Spider-Man2 expectfrom these movies, wouldn't it be ing a well-crafted movie. As long as great ifwe could? Imagine what Spiit's got a guy doing what a spider can, der-Man2would have been like ifits writing hadn't been so bad that it it's successful ,For me, superhero movies are the was unintentionally funny. Imagine ultimate popcorn flicks. And, unlike if everybody involved with Catwoman most mindless entertainment, atleast wasn't on psychotropic drugs. Is it with these you sort of know what to too much to ask for a comic book expect. I suppose that there's a cermovie that isn't just entertaining, or tain degree ofexcitement because of in Catwoman's case, existent, but wellthat. Most people may not know the made in its own right? detailed globe-trotting history of Not that there aren't precedents. Wolverine, but they do know that While they weren't all that meaninghe's got three claws on each hand ful, I'd say Tim Burton's Batman and thatgo sniktand that's enough. Spi- . Batman Returns are good movies, if der-Man's webs go thwip, and let's only for their fantastic visual style .. go. Richard Donner's 1978 Superman Perhaps the reason that these movie, while sort of cheesy by tomovies are so successful is because day's standards, got everything right. Yes, it is definitely possible for a everyone is already familiar with the characters. A large part of this is due superhero movie to be about more to those fun little Saturday-morning than just whiz-bang action. Will the cartoons of the early <90s. Back then upcoming movies prove that? I cermost of today's major demographic, tainly hope so. Probably not, but hey if people ages 18-24,spentagoodmany nothing else, at least seeing Batman Saturday mornings watching cartussle with thugs in a nipple-free costoons featuring Spider-Man or the tume will be something. I complain about alack ofsubstance X-Men. Now that we've all grown up, to these movies, but at the end of the why not check out a movie featuring day I still like them. We've never seen a cornic book movie renaissance like this these characters with whom you're already familiar? It's actually an excelbefore and I doubt we will again. Besides, if the choice comes down to lent strategy from a marketing point of view. After all, you just know the popcorn flicks from Bruckheimer or Dark Phoenix arc or introduction of :Marvel, which would you choose? For Venom is going to be kickass even if me it's snikt-thwip all the way. you have never picked up a cornic fvukcevic@imprint.uwaterloo.ca book.
17
FRIDAY, MARCH 11, 2005
Ever thought of using your ears as well.as your game controllers?
Simon Wood is a unique mind in his field. He studies and teaches the com~ plex world of popular music; a field that calls on knowledge of culture, literature and most importantly, music. He has a masters degree in music from McMaster and is doing his PhD study at York. His thesis topic: video games. Music in video games, to be precise. Wood is one of - the first academics to study a topic so integral to gaming as music. There have been many studies of the effect of games on society and game theory in general, but the specificity of Wood's' . focus opens up a whole new world ofinterpretation. Ihad a chance to chat with this pioneer on his study, and hear some of his opinions on gaming in general: ,
Tim: What preciselY is your thesis concerned with? Wood: What I'm interested in -doing is looking at music in video games the way academics have more recently been studying music in flim and television.
Millennium , Scholarships
What differs between music in film and narrative, support the emotion and television and music in video games? drive the actioQ forward. It can be That's what the interesting thing , anything from a pop score to an orchestral score. If it's something is. If you read the literature of video games in terms of the reviews and that is propelling and aiding the fUm experience, thenitis good fUm music. interviews with game designers, there is always this constant reference to What it is doesn't matter. What-are afiwexamples ofcumntgames â&#x20AC;˘ the idea that games are very closely related to movies. The idea is that that have exceptional soundtracks? games will ultimately become some That's a dangerous question besort of interactive movie in that if cause one of the things I want to you just throw enough processing avoid is taking the traditional appower and memory at it, eventually proach to things by saying, "This is you'll just turn these things into good, and this is bad." Like when movies. People are starting to realize you study classical music; for example, you get a canon of so-called that gaming is a very different process from watching a movie and the "great works." This approach privitwo might not be quite as closely leges these works and marginalizes related as a lot of people seem to everything else. I want to avoid bethink they are. ing one of those people who says, What differentiates a good game sound- , ''You must all listen to Halo 2 and go ,track from good music in general (for 'wow, what a brilliant soundtrack ... example, the Grand Theft Auto sound- blah blah blah. 'J' tracks which fiature popular rock)? There are certainly scores tPat I It depends very much on what find interesting. One of my favourthe player is looking for. That's anites is a game for the PC from 1999 called Outcast. As far as I know, it's 6ther difference between fUm music and game music. It's very easy to talk one of the first fully orchestral score~ about "good" fUm music. There are . and it was wonderful. I quite like all sorts of theories and conventions Marty O'Donnell's work in Halo, that 'have developed around fUm but I don't think Halo 2 quite measmusic. Certainly, music should not ured up. I fullshed it a couple of distract from the fUm as you lose the weeks ago and I actually quite liked sense of disbelief. You are pulled the gameplay, but the thing that out of the movie, thinking, "Hey, I struck me as most disappointing, know I'm watching a movie because was the cutScenes, and the interplay real life doesn't have music." So you of music and animation. There are a need music that really helps drive the couple of moments, like when you
Les bourses du miUenaire
first see the second Halo, where they could have made the dramatic impact much more profound. Those moments could h!lve been so great if they would have worked more on the cutscene, punching it up with the dialogue and music. h wasn't so much the gameplay that disappointed me, as the trajectory of the narrative. Of course, that's part ofwhat I'm m.terested in. In how fUms relate to games and how strongly you can construct narrative in a game. Given the recent announcement Iry Micros1ift stating thatgamers will be able to overlay their own soundtracks, does that endanger the role of music in gaming? Aren't people more likelY to e,yoy their own choice of music? I don't think that's necessarily true. For example, if you go and see Star Wars, would it be'more entertaining if you could slap a 50-Cent track on the death star battle scene? I don't know thatit's necessarily going to be the case that people will want to put their own music on games. Some games certainly lend themselves to that; anyth1ng that's sports-based ota frag-festftrst-person shooter kind of thing. But those are the games' that already allow you to do that. For games like Knights of the Old Republicor Morrowind or Halo, most people are going to want to have that game-pseudocmovie experience that everyone's talking
about. Putting your own songs on it is going to ,seem very weird. What do you think of the academic future ofgamilrg as aform ofstu4Y likefilm or literattlre? That's a tricky question. Whenever academics start looking at something for the first time, questions are raised like "why do we care about that?" So you spend the first couple of years going around and saying ''No, this is really good. This is really important:" I want to try and avoid the apologist approach, but I think it's interesting because, first off, gaming has become such a huge part of popular culture. I mean, Halo 2 doubled' Spider Man 2's sales in its first day. So the fact that games are so commonplace now, and that you don't just spen<;l two hours in front of the screen. Gamers sometimes spend tens upon tens of hours, or hundreds of hours if it's oriline gaming. They're hearing this music and it's being tied to an element of participation where you're actually involvedin structuringwhat's going on. It's'interestingto startdiscussing how music plays in to creating these virtual realities. Simon Wood te.aches several classes here at UW, including music for film, popular music, and music and technology. For the full transcript of this interview, go to wwW.imprint.uwaterloo.ca. talamen@imprint.uwaterloo.ca .
www.awardforexcellence.ca
Ge~
a coupon for a free 0Domino's Pizza vvith· s~udent tax preparation. R&RBLOCK
Come in today or call 1-800-HRBLOCK
Offer goOd at participating Haft Block offices in Canada. from Februaty I, 2005 to May 2, 2005. Pizza coupon given with any pufCh~ of student tax prepalatlon 5elVic. at $29.~5 per student. Pizza coupon valid for a medium one-topping pizza at partidpating Domino's locations.
SCHOOL'S OUTI fARES VALID fOR DEPARTURES IN MAY LONDON
...$449 "': MUNICH/IOUN/FRMImJRT ;.,.$ 599 "': AMSTERDAM/PARIS m$599. ROME/MIlAN _$629 ':" MADRID/IARaLOU 1=$669",: ATHENS &0!1$769 ~
J..
Let's Talk Europe
WIN a trip to
EXTENDED!!
New Zealand!
Buy airfare to the UK or Europe and Travel Insurance and receive a FREEWotldphone and FREE Digital Camera or Mp3 player!! For more details call or stop by one of our offims.
Visit our NEW website for details.
www.travelcuts.com """""*'"--....~---~~~-~~
FlY INTO lONDON," HOlE FROM ICE .•$574 ": FlY INTO LOIDON, AID HOlE FROM _ "",$598 "': FlYIITOLOIDON,AID.HOIEFROMmas .....$614 'e" SYDNEY "",$1099": BANGKOK ....$1129,,: AUCKLAND * ...$1299,:,
GET ON TRACK . FOR EUROPE FREE VIP Backpackers Hostel Membership with the purchase of a EuraiLor Britrail pass' fo< more details call or 5!Of> by 0 . . 01 our
----
_os. j
I I
FLY TO LONDON FOR FREE with Contiki Holidays_ For more details call Or stop by 0 •• of our offices.
>
ob r t.
y's
feat·ures@imprinf.uwaterloo.ca "._U_" ______ ,._,_." ... __ _._ _ ...
, _ _ _ ...
~
____ • _ _ _ •
e
~
It an
1
t
Putting the pop and chips back in (pretending to be) Irish Scott Houston ~-~--~.--.~--
IMPRINT STAFF
Next Thursday is a big day for many people. For mo~t it means drinking themselves silly, for others it means you get to childishly pinch people. Rut these activities aren't for every·one. H ow are 'y0tl going to get the most out of your St. Patrick's day? Simply follow these instructions for a smashing good time. Does a good St. Patrick's day have mean a shlammered St. Patrick's It certainly does not. Underage frush can easily battle the "green beer monster" by drinking other green liquids, usually something mellow or mountainous, depending on your preference or income. If rou are downright broke, bu\' a few packages of green Ko02-Aid, as that's a surefire way not only to cure the green drink blues, but to also bring you back to
a little slice of your childhood. Also, you may want to inyest in some green Jell-O as welL If you are throwing a parry and you need green foods, try grabbing some celery and other green veggies. Not only arc they nutritious, but they are easily dippable into some green spinach dip or cheese whiz (who says everything has to be green?). If you feel the need to get romantic, nothing is mushier than green mashed potatoes. Your spe .. cia1 someone will love it! So you've got the food all laid out, what are you going to do now? That's right, call over your friends and get this shindig started! \l',"hat activities can you partake in? Well if you are like me, a MaJ"ir: the Gatb"ril~gplayer, you'd probably invite your friends over to do that. Nothing says fun like caffeine and cards. So I thought to myself, "Self, what would make agood St. Patrick's day game?" I have just the ans\ver, Urza's Keg! I'vc included this card, that I made up just for tbis special occasion. Simp ly slip it into a protector with a card and go at it~ The cud is an artifiCt, so treat those ShalTIrocks in the mana cost as colourless. --,,\nd relne.tnber~ it's not tournament Su h;i\~-e ~.Hl L patry next with your friends. Ok, so maybe is not I'out
ClAIRE MOUSSEAU
bag. I can accept that. l1H::.tt: are other ways to have fun Irish-style. You can ahyays thrm.r a movie par!'y and watch some Colin Fandl. Or if FJU "re
you th
"rwc'~"'n" with >l friend tlll~ past weekend, we were discussing men and ,;-omen having multiple orgasms. I 'was boas6ng about how easy and awesome it is ff}r women to have numerous orgasms, and how guys often blow their iuad in two ,;econds and, well, game over. To avoid this, most guys arc taught to think of non .. sexual things _. but that essentially mins the whole sexual experience for the guy. Sure, it makes the sex time last longer, but ir'5 not a very intense experience for a guy ifhe's thinking about hockey while he's in the middle of intercourse. So I began to hear about rechllKlues that help guys la~t longer, thlOugh having multiple orgasms without ejaculating. \\,'ith the kno\dsexual body, as wdl as the abiEr)' co strengthen theirpubic musdes, it is to rallr in the male capacity to achicyc multiple orgasms and last
Drinking outside the box
really ambitious 01: film savvy, you can watch moyies like
Ned Kel!y, Tbe Boxer, The CommitmeNts or Lepre(hClliIJ. The film possibilities are end-
less, for more infi'lr-
IMPRiNT STAFF
mation, go to your local Blockbuster and ask the resident movie expert (there is always one there) or check out the \veb, I'm sure you're all familiar \vith the Google search engme. Not one for movies? \'\'e11 that's fint: and dandy. Spend your St. Patrick's day with the most beloved of Irish .American families, the Griffins! 'Chat's right, I'm sure bet\l:een you, your friends and your local video store, you can arrange some sort of Family Guy matathon. There are only three seasons worth of DYDs and with no more late fees you can rent them a few days before St. Parrick's beat rhe rush anJ then wal'ch {'hem \1;ith your friends ,vhen the comes. St. Patrick's drinking has cert:linly led to many negativc consl~quenCeg in the past (case in point, Springfield's short stintwith prohibi ..
Beer is great for cooking. It can be like the best friend that adds a litde kick to every meal when served ice cold beside your dish. It can also be like
JUliAN APONG
tion), that it may be to your advantage to not drink on St. Patrick's day. If you're still not convinced to have a sober St.Paddy's, then just remember that aU the good hars will have li-neups longerthan rht~gre,,1t\1.-a]J ofChina,ano maybe, justrnaybe when you wake up not hung-oyer on Friday, you'll appreciate the fact that you do not have green
pee. Sohriety mav not taste awesome going dtrwft, but it never comes up.
tWO separate phenomenons. The or.. gasm occurs slightly before ejaculation. \'{'hen you're first learning hO\v to achieve multiple orgasms, it is easier
see BEER,
page 20
just for
(start wir h a small rowel and work up to a over nmr while it to !.ift the t(N:d up and
down, just like any set you \yould do at rhe gym. This will also the muscles required ,'n"", v,>,,''' btton. You need to stay dedicated to these exercises in order to have full control over your orgasms.The next thing you need to do is become aVian' of your orgasms. \X'hcn you maSl'llr-· bate, pay attention to what happens just he fore ejaculating. You will find
your roommate's hot girlfriend; you'veah},'ays wondered if mixing it in with your food would be just enough to put you over the edge. Beer is a highly overlooked bev· erage. \'7hen you go to a nice, sit· down restaurant, you're usually pre.. senteJ with a wine list. 'vhy don't they have a beer list? Beer is good for more than JUSt drinking, too. Here is how you can add some yeasty goodness to your favourite dishes. Baked Beans or Chili Adding a half a hottle ofheer to either. a pot of beans or chili can add a special flavour that is hard to rep licare. I recommend a nice go \vith the beans. For the chilli, remember that beer will shape the flavour of the dish . .i\ dark beer such as Rickard's .Red or Double Diamond will add smokier flavour \vhilc a or ale such as Brick's H..ed Cap 'will a httle hite.
shouston@irnprint.uwaterioo.ca !
asms discussion, 1 was cOlwinced rhat if gm's put their mind 10 it and practise these techniLlues, they can experience a lengthened and sex hfe. Firstly, let's go over what constitutes a multiple orgasm for a man. ] [ oceurs when t.lce guy reaches orgasm, but does 110t ejaculate. Doing this allows him to stay hard and maintain his energy, as well as the abiLity to achieve org>tsm a second time. Once tbis process is learned, it can continue for as long as the man desires, until he feels the net~d to release. The more time~ a guy refuses to liberate his ejaculate, the more intense hi~ fmal orgasm will be so guys, listen up. According to guys who mllachieve multiple orgasms, the rechniques reo' quired to learn this ski]] take dedication and practice. 'Ibe firsnhing that needs to happen i~ the strengthening of the pubic muscles. There are different e:;,> ercises that ",:ill help YOU gain contt! ,J ofyour genitals. \\'heneveryou are iust sitting around playing "ideo games, driving, etc., exercise your pubic musde, by them. 'I 'bt:st' are tbe same muscles you use to prevent urination. Another way of> trengthening these muscles is to hang a wet fmvd
e baste
1
,-
,
cOnftot (H: yuur rnusci('s
the tricky part .. _you need to be able ro have an orgas!n'1 and at the moment, Hex your muscles and pre.. Yent the ejaculation. It is imporranl to this en:ry time you ma~tut bare. Become in touch with wmr orgasIns _.- the more you practise the more you will be able to find the c~'X:{j(! moment to contract your muscles. Don'texpectto be ablero do this right away, it takes practice. But if you are regularly exercising your pubic mus·· des and practising how to orgasm without ejaculate, it wiU e\'Cntually become second natlln.:.
and your orgasms rocks, but it is also to hay\:: control of your mind. \X1,cn Hay in nmc with your ]eye! of excitement and retain control of evcrythingthal"i;; on with y,)ur I, is not nccessatT to curb i·his excitement, just make sure you can [cd your orgasm building up. Thi'i way, you ,,\111 be able to contract your muscles at the 111'ne. Through practice you \\ill begin ro fed how your body work~ up t() an orgasm, and with hXl1s thatenel'gy to make YOlll'otl:,'llSm tenfold more intense. jharries@irnprint.uwaterloo.ca
II
20
FRIDAY, MARCH 11, 2005
Family feud: Ottawa style
The Canuck family lives down the street from me on this huge property. Their house may be one of the premiere addresses on the block but they don't know the first thing about parenting. Take their family dinner. the other night: I was peeking through their window, as I often do, just in time to see papa Paul serve up a big steaming turkey to the hungry kids. One might assume that the portions would be distributed by some logical criteria, such as hunger perhaps, but not in the Canuckfamily. BeforemyeyesI was shocked to see that'IXrbichever child screamed and cried the loudest was rewarded with the choice cuts from a smiling dad.. Mouths were agape as little Danny and Johnny quickly wiped aside their tears 'and gorged themselves on extra-large helpings. Ifthatwasn'tenough, they then started arguing about who would get to use the family car. After what seemed like years of acrimony, they finally agreed that everyone could use the car as long as whoever borroweditkeptit clean and promised to have it back before midnight. It made sense to me, but family black sheepJeandeclared thathewouldn't follow these meddling rules, butwanted use the car anyway. To the amazement of everyone, Pop said Jean could drive under spec1il rules. Dalton then stumbled in from working another double shift at the auto plant (which he does to prop up the family's creaky finances) and found his piggy bank cracked open and empty. Dalton * isn't a whiner, but he saw dad's hammer sitting amongst the shattered pile of porcelain. Is anyone else disgusted thatineighteenmonths Paul1fartinhasminagedtotransformCanadainto little more than a giant cheque writing machine? The equalization formulaare akeycomponent of our federal fabric, but Martin's actions have nothing to do with equity nor are they based on any formula beside cruel electoral logic. The LiberalParty believes that there are votes in Atlantic Canada and Quebec, so Danny,John and Jean get a car full of turkey. Ontarians tend to vote
Beer: not just fot breakfast anymore Continued from page 19
Liberalintheir sleep so all they get is a broken-into piggybank. The equalization madness is only half of the currentcashgive-av.1lymasqueradingasgovernance in Ottawa. The federal spigots have also opened for the captains of corporate Canada, who have an appetite for federal cash that would rival any Newfoundlander's. The Federal government and the Province of Ontll.t:iQrecendyannouncedthattheywouldprovide General Motors with $435 million in assistance so thattheywouldconsttuctnewautoplantsin Canada. In the coming months, Bombardier will also be liningupatthetaxpayertroughforitsregularfeeding. The same governmentwhichrefuses to significandycuttaxes on the basis thattheywillonlyreward the rich apparendy has no qualms about directly giving Canadian moneY to the titans of Canadian industry, who don't seem to be particularly hard done by. Some might say that however distasteful, asymmett:ical federalism and corporate subsidies are ultit:rlatelyin thenationalinterest. Quebecverywell may secede if it does not get a special deal and factorieswilliocateelsewhereifourgovernmentsdo not play the subsidy game. These arguments are shallowandignore the fact thateveryspecialdealandeachsubsidyonlyencourages the behaviour that it intendeds to solve. Giving Newfoundland and Nova Scotia special deals will only encourage other provinces to seek their own side deals (Saskatchewan has already asked). If the government gives a subsidy to General Motors today, you can expect representatives from Ford, Chrysler and Toyota crowding into their office, cap in hand, tomorrow.
Depending on when you add the beer to these dishes will also determine the flavour. Adding the beer earlier will not ocly allow the flavour to seep in but will also let the alcohol evaporate. Adding the beer just before serving time will water down your dish but it will also allow the beer flavour to remain strong and keep a little, bit of alcohol in your cooking. Stir-fries Instead of adding W orcestershire sauce, soy sauce or balsamic vinegar to your stir-fry, try adding a bit of beer. It will keep the same bitter flavour, especially ifyou use a pilsner like Molson Dry or Stella Artois, but will give it a little extra zip. Be sure not to mix it in with easily influenced vegetables like bean sprOlits or celery. Vegetables like broccoli will soak up flavour best. A side tip for stir-fries, if you like stir-fries with thicker sauces like you flnd at a restaurant, add in a little bit of cornstarch. But don't add it directly.to the stir-fry. Mix the cornstarch with either the beer, or some warm (not hot) water. This will stop the starch from clumping onto the ingredients. But don't add too much water, or you'll have a very runny stir-fry.
0
Beer-can chicken I <;an't talk about beer and cooking without mentioning beer-can chicken. Tbere are two ways to make beer-can chicken. The ftrstwayis to cook the chicken inside of a large can ofbeer. This is great when you're cooking over an opeti
cedey@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
How kmg didit takeyou toperfectyourChinese accent? A couple of trips to Hong Kong.
IMPRINT STAFF
How do YOII feel about being nominated for four Gemini awards? Some people are gracious about being nominated .. , either I fucking win, or don't tell Ole about it. Don't invite me unless I'm getting the award.
How do you decide which race to pick on?
Recent!yyour Comet(y Now! Special was circulated in a chain email around the internet. DidYOIl get it in your inbox as well? No. Ironically, everyone around ·me got it. It would be redundant to send it to me.
WouldYOIl ever visit UWagain? Sure, I would love to. If this show had t~nked, then hell no.
Just",:hoever's in the audience. It's really all spontaneous.
aocal@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
IIDIIIIlIt16 • POOI. .. Ffl'CHfit NIGHT • fIl£NDlY I'I!IaD JII'IOlE!lS & GReAT fOOl) MENU I'I.Vli NO COVU ftlllllIIIIlIt17 • _ _ &anr Ca.BIlAlE UlftlllRTHtlAy IWiK • SN!OAl ~ADI) TO THE EXCIlt'MI!NT • IIIfMlTIIUIIIII& $!'INS 8I:IWHN me • swm 0l!AI. ON I'ITCHEI!SAUNIGHT I'UJS NO CO\IER
IIII11111tI8 • 1II_IIIDREVAMnTHE NiGHTWltHI!K_ON~ • Ifil'WCW IR&J/IW«:£/ "
HOOS! IW:I'TIE I'AATY C~ ON TIE !lANCe I'I.OOI!
_IIIIIItW • III!SlOENTINIW SfIN$ wtam SEAlS WIiIiE I40T ~ OIIOOVE TO 'Ill!!11JNfS • fIl£NDly ~ SAlISI'YnmrY TAStE IIIJI)$ • 'I'H!IIU TO 'Ill!! 0IIIi· 1'HIS1'IIJI1'FS!.MGE
SlIIII_B
"
-III_WINOS IlOWNTHE W£mNt) WIiIiE ~ YOU fIUMI'I!I) • UNI'IfAWlllI'IIICm 1'i'IOIEIIS, lARGE I!U.WIIl$I.OIJNGI! I'UJS NO CO\IER • WHAT A DEAI.I
janstett@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Part 10 - a murderer wrapped ip. a • mystery inside an enigma
The long-term resultis that provincial govemments will spend less time managing their own finances and more time trying to shake ddwn additional funds from Ottawa. Corporations will focus less on their core business, beitmanufacturingabettercarorbetterairplaneandmoreonplaying one government against another to see who will· cough up the most taxpayer dollars.. Alternatively, we could have a simple and transparent equalization system with fairness for all and side deals fornone. We could have lower and more competitive taxes for everyone. But I suppose at this would make for poor family drama.
Russell Peters:. the exclusive interview Arda Ocal
fire - especially when camping. This involves taking a small chicken -like a Cornish henstufflng it with your favourite flller,flndthen putting in the opened can of beer. Place the entire can in the ftre and let the flavour seep in. The second and more popular way to cook beer can chicken is to actually stick an entire can of beer up the business end of the chicken. (For those of you who don't cpok so often, the business end is usually the neck.) You'll need a five-to-six pound chicken. Make sure it's cleaned out well. Stuffwhatever herbs, rubs or ·fillers you like (pre-cooked potatoes work well) and then open the can of beer using an oldtimey can opener Oike you'd use for a tin of apple juice). You'll need six to eight holes. Drink a good gulp of the beer and fill the . remaining space with any other herbs or rubs you've been using. Put the entire can, open end first, inside the chicken. Now cook the chicken, either on a rotisserie, on the BBQ,. or in the oven. Remember to baste with more beer and your favo~te spices. The recipe works very well with smoked wood chips, either hickory or mesquite. . Don't let the wonderful world of beer go unused in your cooking. The great thing about cooking with beer is that you finally have something to do with the half-drunk cans and bottles that have been left overnight. Since the carbonation will sometimes affect your recipe, using day-old beer is especially ingenious. Don't waste, baste!
@
Shannon was very happy to leave. Jail, she decided, was not for her. ~he had figured as much before, but being in jailieally nailed it home. The beds weren't comfortable, the toilet wasn't private and the company left a lot to be desired. Luckily, she'd only been there for a few hours. It turned out, much to her relief, that the DNA of the killer did not match hers. She could understand the mistake the police had made though. She and the killer had the same blood type, she had no alibi for any of the nights in question, she worked in the lab with the poison and she had been foupdin atleast one crime scene. It did look a little suspicious. As she walked out of the police station, she saw .f\.fikewaiting for her, standing beside her car. She'd called him as soon as she was out and he had grabbed hercarand come over toget her. She figured she was pretty lucky to have a friend like him. Not many guys would get up at two in the morning to come pick up a frie~d! She smiled broadly as she approached him and quipped, ''They decided I'm not a psychotic murderess after all!" She was somewhat confused by 1fike's response. He didn't smile. He just ceased leaning on the car, and moved around to the driver's side, "Get in," he said. ".f\.fike, is there something wrong?" Shannon asked. Her smile vanished and was replaced \vith a worried frown. He glared angrily at her across the top of the car, ''Just get in the car." ".f\.fike," she started, ''You know I'm not guilty,don't you?"
"I told you to get in the fucking car, so getthe hell in!" He snarled as he sat in the car and slammed the door behind him. Mike had never spoken to Shannon like that before. She was shocked and upset. This night truly could not get any worse. She got in the car. They began driving. The silence hung heavily in the air, until Shannon couldn't stand it anymore, "Mike," she began quietly, ''What's wrong?" He looked over at her and there was an evil fire in his eyes. She had never seen him look thatway before. Her heart froze in her chest and she began to feel truly scart;d. ''1 think you should shut up," he said in an unfamiliar, husky voice. Shannon looked away from his horrible face, its handsome lines had been twisted into a mask ofevil. ''Where are we going?" she asked. She had just realized they were not driving towards her house. The car began to go faster, "I thought I told you to shut up!" He said, his rage barely controlled. Shannon closed her eyes and sat back. This couldn't be happening.. She had to still be in the jail cell. She had to be sleeping. It couldn't be Mike. Not after all this. How could it possibly be true? She had to be missing something. Something must have happened. But a quiet voice in the back of her mind brought forward ~other possibility. lcfichael Smith was llsane. She was startled out of her quiet revelation when the car suddenly stopped... 'We're here," Michael said quiedy. Shannon looked outside. Through the dim light of the moon she saw a large rambling building rising before her out of the night. They had arrived at the psychology, anthropology and sociology building. They had arrived at the PAS. mross@imprint.uwaterloo.ca 1
21
FRIDAY. MARCH 11, 200~
The queen of soul reveals how to keep a rockin' body .
'
lf7efghts?
cular is ancient Swahili for "heart and
Heavy objects that you lift.
lungs." You know those machines that you see people running around on in the gym? If you get on one of those and move your arms and legs reailyXast, it will actually cause your heart to pump blood faster and .strengthen it. Cardio-vascular exercise is a great way to help keep your heart from catastrophically exploding, killing you and spraying bystanders with gore. It also bums fat! Sure, it's a little boring to run on a treadmill for half an hour, but this can be alleviated by an iPod or the latest copy of Vogue.
Ah.
When we lift Adam last week he was interviewing the queen of sou4 Aretha Franklin, on the challenges of keepingJit. Aretha: Back to that workout plan: Once you start going to the gym and noticing the benefits ofyour program, thetime commitmentwillfeellikenothing at all. You spend 60 hours a week playing Halo. Does that seem like too much time? Adam: I should think not, madam! Itis
II!Y duty as a citizen ofEarth to beprepared if! the case of extraterrestrial invasion. Yeah. \~:ell, an important part of being prepared to blast aliens is having the strength to lift your arms overyour head.
You knOJv,you're right, Aretha. To the gym it is! 50 how exactlY does this exenise process work? Well, there are basicallytwodifferent types ofexercises you can do: those for yourmuscles... .
Muscles? The things you use to get spray cheese from the can to your mouth.
Ah. To exerciseyourmuscles youcan lift weights.
There are a number of different exercises you can perform to improve the strength, size and definition ofyour muscles. Uke, for instance, bicep Curls, squats and the oh-so-macho bench press. Weights are great because they're basically the bestwayto take out aggression without actually, hitting somebody or trashing a hotel room. They'll also help'your body burn fat! (Consult a kinesiologist if you want to know how this works 'cause I'm damn well not doing any research on it.) Youwant , to be careful-with weights thoughdon't overdo' it or you'll end up looking like something that lives uq.der a bridge in a Grimm fairy tale. If you catch yourself telling an;yohe you'll grind their bones to make your bread, it's time to take a few weeks off. .
Got it: no bone bread. Right. The cool thingaboutweights is they make you feel really butch and macho. After doing them for a few months, you'll start to eye random peoplein public places and thinktoyourself, ''1 bet I could beat that guy up." You couldn't. Butnonetheless, just thinking thatv.1ll do wonders for your self-con-
fidence. Cool! 50 what's the other type ofexercise 1 can do? Cardio-vascularexercise.Cardio-vas-
50 ,matdo I do tfI don't like Vogue, tmd as a result, get bored to death on the elliptical trainer? First of all, the day you stop liking Voguewillbe a colddayin hell. Butinany case, ifthe machines don't do it for you,
why not try an intramural sport? Basketball, soccer, all those things are great cardio-vascularexercise. They'realsoalot more fun that running on the spot, and help to get rid of that gerbil feeling that the treadmill gives you. Another great option is classes! Nice h)" Franklin. There's thollsands of people on this camptts Jvbogo to class 20 hours
a week and ~'re notexactfy rtlrmiltg around looking like a gang of 5chwar~neggers. I'm talking about exercise classes, . honey! Cardio kickbQxing, pilates and similar stuff to that. Thl'!y work like this: you sign up and go to a
.
classroom in your gym at a specified ent in your workouts than to plan time. At the front of the room is an for six workouts a week and actually impossibly attractive instructor make it six times a lifetime. Another whom you will envy and resent for thing that'll really help you stay mohis or her fitness level. Don't feel tivated is a workout buddy! Try to bad, this instructor envies and repick somebody with a crazy look in sents you for your level of education. his eyes and a grudge against society. For a few months you do your best You want somebody a little bit obto awkwardly mimic her movements sessive who can drag your lazy ass while she shouts peppy things at out of bed. you, and after a while your level of . Aretha, I can't thankyou enoughfor fitness starts to approach hers. Her yourwondeifuladvice. There 'sjust one more level of computer science knowledge thing I hat'c to ask you beforeyou leave. 1Ces? • stays the same, so you clearly get the better end of.the deal. " Can you sing "Chain ofFools"for me
Ha ha, Slickers! Yeah! Cardio classes are ~so a great opportunity"for gazing at the asses of hot people in Lulalemon tights without having to worry about their boyfriends or girlfriends smacking you up. Well, without having to worry as much. Cool! I't'f been missing Ollt on this whole
while bench-pressif!g me with one hand? Anything for you, Adam. Except that. ~johns@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
exercising thing! Your loss is the muumuu industry's gain.
5 crew those 'gl!Ys! One-thousand-onehundred dollarsfor apiece offame with a hole in the top? No more willyou take,,!} f!lonry, Jean Pall! Gatlltier Aitluf!luu COIlemt Inc! No More! I resolve to get in shape. I t' s·~eat to hear you sounding so motivated, Adam. Here are a couple final "tips: pick a realistic workout program and stick with it. It's better to set modest goals and be consist-
ESL Teacher Training Courses • IaceUve 6CHIour Pmaram • ~ Mama 1-" TecMiq_
• Detailed a.-cm ~
.~T~Matmafs
.~~~
• Jots Gus__ bIdwfed
• n-.u of SadsfiI!d StIIdMts
Oxford Seminars t-8C)Oo269-6119 / 41"'92+J!40
www.oxfordseminars.(otll
Want to improve your student newspaper? Want your opinions to be heard? Like winning free stuff? Top lazy to get off your stank ass· and hand in a survey? /
SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY
science@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Rounding up the mini music giants Imprint looks at the Creative Zen, iriver Hl0 and iPod mini Creative Zen - $349.99 too substantial. Ifyou're not too rough The Zen is slightly shorter and on electronics, it shouldn't be a prob-' fatter than the iPod mini. It boasts lem. five gigabytes ofstorage and 12 hours Hard-drive-based music players have iriver H10 - $379.99 officially taken over the pockets of of battery life. It features an Fl'vl radio for those of you who don't want to students and other pedestrians across The HlO is a sleek gunmetal recmiss the Dean Blundell show (I feel tangle that is somewhat taller than the nation. These tiny devices can hold an enormous amount of music , your pain) and a voice recorder for • the Zen, but much thinner. It comes and size up at less than a pack of when those pesky profs won't stop equipped with a full-colour screen, FM radio and voice recorder. The cigarettes. talking. The voice recording is a definite bortus, especially for the student The initial market wave was started batteIT is also removable and boasts a 12-hour life, without backlight. I on-the-go. The quality is decent by the iPod. The little white wonder comes in sizes from 20GB to 60GB enough to record lectures and coufound the screen very difficult, if not pled with the exceptional battery life, impossible, to view without the and boasts a host of accessory supit will certainly be able to keep up. backlight. port and ipcredible software. The Zen's interface is innovative But for those who can't fill The interface-is confusing, at best. but not intuitive (nor alliterative). It It has a circle-button and a butron 20GB, or want a smaller, less exfeatures touch-sensitive buttons and that looks like "enter," but actually pensive player, the mini line-up comes in. Initially it began with the a vertical strip used for scrolling up and down. The strip is somewhat iPod mini, ringing in at a meaty more efficient than the four gigabytes. Now the iPod wheel, in thatif you market has exploded hold your finger at the with offerings from Creative, iriver, and a bottom, it keeps scrolling -down. The mononumber of other less nochrome screen has good table companies. ImpriNt , contrast to it and is very had the chance to take a responsive. look at models from all The Zen also sports a' three major players jn the hopes that we could removable battery, obviously learning from the help you decide. Ultimistakes of Apple. Unmately, nobody came fortunately, the casing is but on top, but the batIMAGES COURTESY OF MANUFACTURERS. plastic and. doesn't feel tle was fierce. Tim Alamenciak IMPRINT STAFF
ALMOST TO SCALE, BUT NOT QUITE.
functions quite differently. These fall on either side of the same vertical touch-strip we saw in the Zen. There are a couple of other buttons on the side that serve extra menu functions as well, but the entire thiflg is a mess. It's confusing and far from intuitive. The menu system is arguably superior to the other devices. It features icons for each function and the background changes attractively, along with your selection. The huge drawback to this is a noticeable amount oflagwhen flicking through the selections. iPod mini - $249.99 or $319.99 The great insurmountable beast of music players measures up as somewhat thicker than the iriver. It boasts a monochrome screen and a whopping 18hour battery life. Initially, the mini was released at four gigabytes, but has since been boosted to six . gigabytes in order to keep up with the competition. So bigger is better, yes? ~l ell, fortunately we're right on the edge of the transition, so you can pick up a four gigabyte
model for $249.99, or pay $319.99 for the six gigabyte model. . Thescroll-wheelinterfaceissomewhat more comfortable than the vertical strips we've seen so far. However, it tends to get repetitive. 'When cycling through a long song list, you have to constantly spin your finger around the wheel, as opposed to holding'it at the top of the strip. Unfortunately, the mini doesn't offer voice recording .or Fl'vf radio. For the student on-the-go, voice recording is an excellent bonus. Unfortunately, the adapter to enable recording'will run you $49.99 and includes a very poor microphone. All three have advantages and disadvantages to consider. Out of the three, the iPod has the lowest pricepoint and only lacks a voice-recorder. The colour screen. on the H10 may seem like a draw - but really the screen is so small that it makes little difference. It's a toUgh choice to make. The iPodis the safest bet and has the most industry support. Cases and designer accessoties are available in all colours of the spectrum. \-X;'hichever \vay you choose to go, rock on. talamen@imprintuwaterioo.ca
Ursula Franklin urges Canadians UW remembers to slow down and think· Marilyn Griffith This isn't just a call for driving your car slower. It means not trying to pack so much into one day, slowing dO\vTI to enjoy your life before it's , over ancJ. you've missed out on all the glorious details in your hurry. Use.therightwords. We should talk about "people" instead of ' 'human resources" or "pedestrians." Speak of nature instead of environment - because there are Ir,llUly things in nature She left the audithatwe might not consider a part ofour ence with a number "environment," like fleas and microorganisms, hydrological cycles and the of sugSJestions for slow erosion of moootains. Using these concepts helps us to see the future of our a biggerpicture ofthose elements ofour society, something culture whose neglectwill be the end of that environmental our society. Agriculture is more.than merely food production and education .activists often is more than just skills production. The other piece of Dr. Franklin's overlook ... advice that stuck with me is that we should rejoice in the things that do go right. We should praise our friends and wisdoms of a woman who spoke and colleagues who strive for balofthe 1960s within her living memory. She left the audience with a ance and appropriateness in their work and their lives. And above all, number of suggestions for the future we should take a more sustainable of our society, something that environmental activists often ovcrrlook in approach to our own lives with joy their efforts to convince the uninitiand appreciation that we are acting, on behalf of the planet imd leading ated of the fate the planet may face. Decelerate was her first piece of others by our example. advice. North American society rtemmer@imprint.uwaterloo.ca moves way too fast for its own good.
onto stage left at Hagey Hall. Ursula Franklin's Hagey lecture last Wednesday evening actually left me with a sense of hope, a commodity that is difficult to come by in my profession. After getting used to the slow measured cadence of her speech, I settled in to listen to the experience
"\'\le should look at nature the same way we look at the United States-as a huge and unpredictable power," said Ursula Franklin at her recent lecture I walk down the street and feel impotent rage as someone pollutes my lungs with the toxic fumes from a vehicle that was originally intended for the U.S. Army. . I spend a few hours learning about a corrupt and heedless government in Central America who has enlisted a money-grabbing Canadian corporation to build a hydro dam that's going to flood one of the most biodiverse regions on the planet. . I scream at some kid in the student life centre for throwing his pop can in the garbage and reminded once again how selfish and unthinking people can be. Scenes like this plague the environmentally conscious every single dayyou can'tescapeitbecauseit's all around you and there's little that can be done to remedy the problcins ditectly. Enter an inspirational little woman
I'm
.
Marilyn Griffith, 1953·2005. Tim Alamenciak IMPRINT STAFF
Marilyn Griffith, a valuable and well-respected faculty member of UW's biology department, passed away suddenly on Saturqay, February 19. She was an avid researcher and active member of the U\V community. Her contributions to the realm of botannical biology will survive her. Griffith studied the process that plants utilize to survive freezing:"People used to think that plants freeze becahse it's cold. ~'hat I have shown in my research is ,that plants control their freezing by pro-
ducing ice nucleators which initiate the freezing process. That allows freezing to take place in intercellular spaces." In addition to her excellent research, Griffith was named a Kilam Itesearch Fellow in 2003. The award offered her funding to continue research on plants. She was chosen among ten other researchers, out of 104 possible candidates. Her contributions to the world of biology and our understanding of plants \vill echo throughout the science for years to come. Griffith will be missed. talamen@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
23
l.RIDAY. MARCH 11, 2005
Giant lobster·dies·from stress'of'fame target nic~tine receptors in the brain and block cravings altogether as it claims, "Varenicline could generate upwards of$500 million in sales per year" according to David Moskowitz, an analj"st with Friedman, Billings, Ramsey & Co. Leena Singh SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
Kick the habit for good Researchers have developed a new drug that will make quitting smoking as easy as treating high cholesterol. The pill serves as a vaccine and treats the addiction at the chemical level by attaching itself to nicotine receptors in the brain, pre~ venting cravings for' a cigarette. Called Varenicline and designed by researchers at PfIzer Inc. in Connecticut, it "is in Phase III testing, normally the last step before a company applies for approval from the Food and Drug Administration." Varenicline is designed to block or mimic nicotine's chemical reactions in the body, as opposed to the weening effects of patches and chewing gums. If the drug does in fact
Cell phone viruses on the rise According to data security ftrms, a new virus threatening cell phone users has emerged. These threats will become more prevalent as creators target other wireless products as well. The virus, known as Commwarrior, is spread via multimedia messaging services containing photos, sound or video clips. It drains , the cell phone users' battery as well as charging them for the text messege. The virus spreads through Bluetooth connections and tries to transfer mes to other Bluetooth-enabled devices messaging cell phone users to download 3D games. Commwarrior is not the fust virus to threaten cell: phone users. Consumers were exposed to Cabir last year, however the cases were not widespread. "Most of the threats that we've seen targeting cellphones
have been fairly isolated, in that they're either ,proof of concept threats written by an individual to simply prove that something can be done, or they're seen in extremely isolated cases like in the case of Cabir," said Oliver Friedrichs, a senior manager with Symantec's security response team. Although cellphone viruses are still fairly premature, anti-virus software for wireless devices are readily available from Symantec and F-Secure.
SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
With rising levels of carbon dioxide emissions, many people are concerned about flooding, severe weather and species extinctions as the planet warms up. However, some scientists have predicted at least a little good news: increased plant growth. Plants need carbon dioxide for ph~tosynthesis, so an increased supply should cause faster growing and larger plants. However, what these scientists didn't predict is that these faster growing fruits and vegetables would be less nutritious. In China, an experiment tested the growth of wheat and ric~ in a carbon dioxide-enriched atmosphere
using pipelines of the greenhouse gas. These plants grew in an environment similar to the one predicted for 2050, where concentration ofcarbon dioxide in atmosphere could be 50 per cent greater than current levels. The results showed that rice and wheat crops had yields about 15 per cent greater in carbon dioxide en-. riched atmospheres. Also, the crops grew 10-20 per cent faster. But the faster growth and greater yields were a mixed blessing. "The protein level will decrease by 10 per cent by about 2050 and elements such as iron and zinc will also decline," said Zhu Jianguo, at the Nanjing-based Institute of SQil Sciences, part of the Chinese Academy of Sciences.
lobster died last week. Bob Wholey, owner of the fIsh market where Bubba once lived, believes the cause of death was the stress caused by the move to the zoo. Bub ba was 22 pounds and was estimated to be approximately 100 years old. He was unique in the sea world and will be remembered - as much as a lobster can be.
Stressed out Bubba didn't make it After decades of dodging lobster pots, being shipped from Massachusetts to
Future plant food may be lacking Graeme Stemp
Pittsburgh, spending a week in a fish market and then finally being taken to the Pittsburgh Zoo & . PPG Aquarium the 1e v i a t han
Zhu explained that faster growth meant quicker use of carbohydrates, meaning thatless carbohydrates were stored itwhe plant as proteins. The end result was food that was signifIcandy less nutritious for human and animal consumption. The flndings build upon another study conducted at the Institute of SuhtropicalAgriculture, which found that the current rate of air temperature increase (0.04.degrees Celsius per year) will cause a signifIcant decrease in soil organic matter such as decaying animal or plant life by 2050. Taken together, these two studies suggest that increasing levels of'tarbon dioxide and rising temperatures could exacerbate food shortages and malnutrition in the coming decades.
STU DY IN AUSTRALIA Professkmal deg.... Masters, PhD and Study Abroad Program areas include: Chiropractic Arts Business Law Optometry PhysiolO.T. Science
Tourism
Vet Science
Teacher Education
Contact OzTREKK - the Australian University AppHcation Centre in
Canada • for info about applications. entry requitemoots. tuition fees. student visas and accreditation Your ~lan C~ tf.l Stl.ldy if!
www.ozt rekk.cominfo@o2trekk.coml-866-698· 73 55
Gridlock relief in th~ palm of your hand Jacqueline McKoy IMPRINT STAFF
Cars represent the ultimate freedom in transportation - unless you're stuck in rush-hour trafflc. If you're in a particularily high-end vehicle, your GPS system may lead you to an alternate route - the same one that everyone else in a GPS-enabled car is heading tDwards. Although technology has allowed for dynamic mapping capability, making driving more efflcient requires another step: measuring the level of road congestion. Seattle inventor Ryan -Peterson and a team of 20 engineers created TrafflcGauge, combining wireless broadcasting with innovatively used transportation data. TrafflcGauge is a v;'ireless PDAlike device that perches atop a car's dashboard and displays a fIxed map
of major local routes with symbols indicating the level of trafflc congestion. It gathers "the trafflc flow information from wire loop sensors embedded in most'~oads; these are the same sensors that control trafflc signals. TrafflcGauge interprets the 'data to indicate three levels of gridlock (clear, slow and stopand-go) and upd!ltes trafflc conditions every four minutes. TrafflcGlluge is also a much less expensive option (at 49 or 79 USD, plus an approximately $4 monthly data fee, depending on geographic area) than a PDA or in-car GPS system. Seattle, home 'to both TrafficGauge Inc. and\ one of America's highest levels of trafflc problems, was a natural choice for the device's launch nearly a year ago. The greater Seatde area is bombarded by nearly 900,000 commut-
ers each day and TrafflcGauge surveys have shown that users in the area save, on average, 4.8 hours per month in travel time. TrafflcGauge is also thought to give drivers a new line of defense in collision avoidance, as the device helps them avpid heavily congested roads which may be blocked because ofan unresolved accident. In 2004, TrafflcGauge was introduced to the Los Angeles and Orange Country areas in California. Th,e company plans to introduce TrafflcGauge in eight more U.S. cities this year, as well as possible expansion to another seven American areas and several cities ~hroughout Asia an'd Europe. Torontonians .need not hold their breath or brake pedals; there are no current plans for expansion to Canadian cities; jmckoy@imprint:uwaterloo.ca
DNESDAY NIGHT
T-SHIRT CONTEST
CASH PRIZES ~
p!AV A COVER
STREET NORTH KITCHENER Tel: 578-7205
C iD~AcSoSIFIEDS campus. 1 room in 2 bedroom apartment away camp, Northeast Pennsylvania (6/ 18 - 8/14/05) If you love children and , close to all ammenities. $485 month, negotiable (utilities included). Matt: 880want a caring, fun environment we need "Ultimate Questions" The Lord Jesus 0564. Directors and Instructors for Tennis, Christ is the difference. Learn about Swimming (W.S.I. preferred), Golf, Gym23B High Street, off Hazel, on bus route Him. Bible study by correspondence. nastics, Cheerieading, Drama, High &' to University. Three bedroom modern Please send name and address to: Bible Low Ropes, Team Sports, Waterskiing, self-contained apartment with kitchen, study, Zion United Reformed Church Sailing, Painting/Drawing, Ceramics, livingroom, modern bathroom, laundry c 1238 Main St., Sheffield, ON LQR IZ0 Silkscreen, Printmaking, Batik, Jewelry, room with free washer/dryer. Lease May or e-mail bible@zurch.on.ca. See web Caligraphy, Photography, Sculpture, 1 or September 1,2005 (12 month lease). site: www.zurch.on.ca.click on Links, Guitar, Aerobics, Self-Defense, Video, $415/studentlmonth, utilities included.. ask for book. Sign up today, it's free. Piano. Other staff: AdrninistrativeIDriver CallJune Smith (416) 491-1370 or (416) Term Paper help from dedicated writ(+21), Nurses (RN's and Nursing Stu705-5648 or e-mail ing professionals with more than 30 dents), Bookkeeper, Mothers' Helper. turtle005@rogers.com. years experience.' E.S.L., research & Interviews March 21. CalI516-889-3217 Available immediately - 3 bedroom writing, editing and proofreading, enor 1-800-279-3019 or apply online at multi-level townhouse. New flooring, trance letters and thesis help. Toll Free www.campwaynegirls.com. freshly painted, finished basement. Flex1-888-345-8928 or customessay.com. Wait persons with Sip program and line ible leasing options. Utilities included We fix any computer problem - $55 flat cooks needed weekends and weekdays for $400 per bedroom. Professionally - plus free diagnosis! Pop ups, viruses, managed. Call,Darlene at 746-1411, at Angies. cCall 747-1700, Sharon or spam, hardware - we fix it alL Visit Haney PM. Mike . • our store or call 747-5979. Waterloo Available September 2005 to August Brick Brewing Company - hiring sumNetworks, 220 King Street, N., across 2006 - five bedroom house. Great mer promotions team (part-time). Drop from WLU, behind Phil's. Uptown Waterloo location. Close to all off resume to Brick Brewery Beer Store, Custom essay writing and research asamenities. Parking and laundry facilities. 181 King St. North, Waterloo. sistance - Essay Experts can write ¥1 Available to a group of five at $319/stuHome care providers needed for two essay or research papers on any topic, dentlmonth. Call Mike at 888-7377 or families with young children. Part-time level and for any deadline. Call 1-877e-mail fastboat@golaen.net. hours and very flexible. Please call Amaal 974-TEXT or visit EssayExperts.ca. September Rental - 3 bedroom at 747-9674 (Erbsville) and Rosina883townhouse' in student complex. Excel1035 (Albert Street). FORSALE lent unit with new carpets and vinyl being installed before move in. New apHOUSING Computer pm 700 Mhz, 128 RAM, 15 pliances. Utilities include.d.$410 per GB Quantum, Fireball HDD, VIA Room for rent - uptown Waterloo, bedroom. Call Darlene 746-1411. Vf82C596B chipset motherboard, ATi Caroline and Erb Streets. Call496-8273 May Rental - 3 bedroom large multiRage 128 Video card, Creative CT4750 and ask for Teresa or Bob. level townhouse; Excellent student Sound card, 3 COM Fast Etherlink XL Room for rent for a quiet individual in a townhouse complex profess~onally manPCI. $125.00 cash or cheque. Gall 888- detached home near both universities. aged. Utilities included for $410 per 4048 or come to SLC1116. Parking and all amenities. Please call bedroom. It doesnt get any better than 725-5348. this!! Call Darlene at 746-1411, Haney ~ELPWANTED PM. Free Apartment Finder Services! Over 8,000 apartments in' oUr database. We May 1st 3 bedroom triplex - fully furPart-time help needed atAi Madina Egyp- make appointments, you save time! High nished, shared kitchen and bathroom, tian Cuisine and Just n'Pita at University rise, low rise, town homes, furnished and parking, laundry, non-smoker, cleaning Plaza, 150 University Ave., W., Water- unfurnished. All prices! Call now for this lady two times per month to .clean loo, beside Campus Laundry. Please bring free service. 310-7000. kitchen and bathroom. Rent from resume in, during business hours. $400.00 per month. Viewing 153 WeEight month lease starting September 1, ber Street, N., Waterlo<>. Call 884-4764. Tutor needed for 'Grade 12 chemistry! 2005 - Four bedroom, excellent locabiology student. One or two hours per tion, must see, goes fast, 34 Bridgeport Fall 2005 -large 5 bedroom hQuse availweek., Willing to meet on campus. Pay Road, East - close to everything, washer/' able for five. Sixth bedroom could be negptiable. Please e-mail Julia at dryer, dishwasher, gas heat, cheap utili-. used as den/study. Partly furnished, free lubczynski@sympatico.ca. • ties, free parking, open 'Concept kitchen, laundry! parking, garage, 20 minute walk to Uw, five minute walk to shops. Weekend counsellors and relief staff to dining room and living room open ont<> $375.00 each plus utilities, phone 88'6work in homes for individuals :with de- a private balCony, air conditioning, plus 1309. velopmental challenges. Minimum eight- huge rooftop patio, perfect for students. month commitment. Paid positions. Send $429. Call 741-7724, www.acdev.cafor Five bedroom house for rent on a quiet resume to Don Mader, K-W Habilita- more info and pictures. street, walking distance to Universities. tion Services, 108 Sydney Street, Three bedroom apartment for SeptemVery clean and completely renovated. Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2. ber and May $395 per room. Five bedAvailable September 1,2005. Please call 575-1973. New club and restaurant opening May room apartment on 449 Hazel, $350 per 2005. Accepting applications for all posi- ' room September 1,2005. Two one bedtions. Please mail resume with cover let- room $900-$700, 122 Columbia 8, COURSES ter to: Attention: Bar Manager, 7-140' rooms. 746-6327 or 501-1486. Sl\-100 Forest Firefighting Course, WaUniversity Ave., W., Waterloo, Ontario, Call Waterloo Off-Campus Housing terloo, March 16 -20, 2005. Please call N2L 6J3 or apply in person to same (W.O.C.H.) for all your housing needs. to register Wildfire Specialists Inc. 2233 c address on March 24 or 31 between Quality'serviCe and quality housing at Radar Road, Suite 5, Hammer, ON P3P 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. Bring in valid www.rentWoch.com. 747-72~6. lR2. Toll Free: 1'-877-381-5849. OnSmart Serv 1D. tario Ministry of Natural Resources AcSummer term sublet - 365 Albert Street Camp Wayne for Girls. Childr:ens' sleep- just off Columbia. 10 nrinute walk from credited. No Guarantee of Employment.
SERVICES
UPCOMING
ANNOUNCE Wanna :•• live purposefully - lead passionately - influence powerfully? Twenty20 welcomes you! Twice a month - bus pickup at UW, SLC at 6:45 p.m and WLU underpass-at 7:00 p.m. For more info call 744-7447 or www.kcf.org or pauld@kcf.org. Philosophy in Action. Join a discussion that looks at how philosophy applies to everyday life. Saturdays and Wednesdays at 7:00 p.m. in downtown Kitchener - 742-4433 (leave message). CheCk out the events happ,!:ning in the Student Life Centre at http:// www.studentservices.uwaterloo.calslcl events.htm. UW Artisan Sale & Exhlbition. UW students are invited to display or sell your creations. Great way to make some money or fundraise! March 16 & 17. SLC 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. See Nancy· O'Neil, SLC room 2117 to pick up an application 9:30 - 11:30 or 1:30 - 3:30 daily. _ International students: experience a unique Canadian sport. Try broomball! It's played on ice, similar to ice hockey, but no skating required. Women and men play together - everyone is welcome (Canadians too'). Contact uw_broomball@hotmail.com for more information. Linda Perez's Existere to, commemorate International Women's Day at the Waterloo Cominunity Arts Centre, March 4 to April 2. This Kitchener artist has created a series of life-size sculptures using clear packing tape and her own body as a model. For more information please contact' Sher Di£iccio, 886-4577, wcac@sentex.net or visit www.sentex.netl-wcacweb/ Epilepsy Awareness Month presented by Epilepsy Waterloo Wellington (EWW). To increase awareness about this neuro-logical disorder, EWW are holding an Epilepsy Awareness Forum on Monday March 14 at 7 p.m. in the Gold Room which is located in the Kaufmann building at Grand River Hospital. Registration is require for this event, please contact Desiree at 519-745-2112 or epilww@sentex.net. Waterloo Space Society General Meeting. Sign up and enjoy the following events: 30 minutes of flYing with a pro" fessional instructor for a fee - space documentary free food. Visit www.spacesoc.uwaterloo.ca for details. Noijinations are requestea for the following seats on Senate: Graduate Student Representatives - Two graduate students of the university to be elected by/from the full and part-time graduate students of the university, terms from May 1,2005 to April 30, 2007. Nomination forms are av;lilable from the Secretariat (ext 6125) and from the Sf;!cretariat webpage; see http://www.adm.uwaterloo.ca/infosec/ elections/nomelections.htm. At least five nominators are required in 'each case. Nomil).ations should be sent to the Chief Returning Officer, secretariat, Needles Hall, (oom 3060 no later than 3 :00 p.m., Wednesday, March 30, 2005. Elections will follow if necessary. Graduate student member of Senate whose term expires as of April 30, 2005 and is eligihle for re-election: Heather .Murray (Biology).
au
FINANCIAL AID March 2005 (Needles Hall, ext 3585). Check it out! Financial Aid on the new Quest system. Check under 'Finances' to view your Financial Aid summary, including bursary and scholarship awards. Not sure if your fees are arranged? Check under your Account Summary to view your registered status. National Student Loan Service Center is on campus every Friday, NH 1123, throughout March. ; !!
o
Friday, Match 11, 2005 Cystic Fibrosis Charity. Casino Night at the Turret, WLU. Blackjack; craps, poker and roulette: Many prizes and live entertainment. For tickets/info www.cfwlu.ca. Coats for K9's event runs until March 31,2005. Creature Comfort invites you to bring in used or unwanted pet supplies (clean & useable) such as dog coats, booties, beds, etc., that will be donated to rescue groups and shelters in need. For further info and address: www.creaturecomfort.ca. Tuesday, March 15,2005 The Interdisciplinary Coffee Talk Society. Dr. Adrian Kent from Cambridge University, UK will present a talk titled: What is an acceptable risk (e.g. for destroying the earth)? Seminar at the Grad House, e~ail: akempf@uwaterloo.ca. Wednesday, March 16, 2005 Waterloo Space Society general meeting at CD 1302. Sign up ind enjoy: 30 minutes of flying for only $50, documentary films and Lasc:rQuest sign ups. Thursday, March 17,2005 Persian New Year Cul~al Exhyibition from 2:00 to 7:00 p.m; in DC 1301. Friday, March 18, 2005 The Rainbow Reels Queer Film Festival presents 5th annual at uw, Davis Centre, room 1302. Queer content has steadily increased in mainstream movies and TY .over recent years. This years festival focuses on film that tells queer stories on the margins of the queer community. For more information www.rainbowreels.org. Thursday, March 20, 2005 Looking for exciting careers? A health informatics and bioengineering careers symposium - to bring students together with interested companies/organizations. Join us for this free event from 4:30 to 7":30 p.m. To register: http;jf" hi.uwaterloo.ca. Monday, March 28, 2005 Central Ontario Orchid Society general monthly meeting at St. Jo~eph'S'Church (Courtland/Madison, Kitchener) at 7:00 - 9:00 p.m. There will be speaker/seminar/demos, library, plant sales tables, supplies, raffies, show tables, refreshments and good company. Free to visitors. Call 634-5540. Thurs. March 31 & Fri. April 1, 2005 Learning outside the box - there will be a keynote speech by Dr. Maggie Mamen Ph.D, C.Psych "Piece by piece: putting the LD puzzle together" Thursday from 6:30 t9 9:00 p.m. at the Waterloo Memorial Recreation Centre. Friday there will be several workshops that run from 8:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Register online at www.learningoutsidethebox.ca or call Webster Educational at 519-884-0004. Thursday, April 7 'Single and Sexy auditions from 6:00 to 9:00 p.m. Watch Imprint for more details. 0
VOLUNTEER Student career assistants neededior 20052006. Career Services is looking for students to fill a variety of volunteer positions. Depending on the position you will gain valuable job search, marketing, and/ or career-related skills by either promoting events and services or by helping other students in their career planning and job search. Open to regular and co-op students who are creative and possess strong interpersonal and communication skills. Applications available in Career Services, CC 1214, or from our webpage by clicking on Student Career Assistant Program at www.careerservices.uwaterloo.ca. Deadline: March 19,2005. Weekday administrative reception wanted at RIM Park. Call 888-6488 for info. Senior Games Host Committee seeks members. Call Chris at 885-1220, ext 241. " ,
FRIDAY. MARCH 11, 2005
PORTS
sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
IlPPIlIPs IIPItI decislvllblPd lIIIe II laiR -.pall'l7
Ho el ss nds Wcag rs' James Rowe IMPRINT STAFF
. With a berth in the ~UA Championship within their grasp, the Warriors men's basketball team came up short down the stretch in a see-saw battle with the Brock Badgers. An impressive and energetic crowd was on hand at the PAC to seetheOUA West final on Saturday, March 5. Waterloo came into the game having swept the season series fromBrock, giving them home court advantage despite' the fact the teams finished with identical 19-3 records in the regularseason. The Badgers were coming into the game in peak form, having won their last 12 games and their confidence showed early on as they jumped out to a quick 12-6 lead. Theywould expand thatlead to 2412 with 12 minutes remaining in the opening half and it looked as though they had UW on the ropes. The \Varriors battled back, using stiff defence and sharp shooting to electrify the large crowd and go on a 12orun to tie the game with 6:30 to play in the first half. Theron ,vas keyed by the re-entry into the game of forward :\Iike Sovran., afifth year co-captain, who scored seven points in that span. The t\vo teams "'ould then exchange the lead four times in the last five minutes of the half, with \'.('ater100 taking a 41-3 7 lead into the break thanks to a Dave Munkleyput-back at the buzzer. The t\yo teams treated the crowd to a fast-paced, well played hal~ that saw both sides shoot over 55 per cent from the field and over 40 per cent from three point range. Brock was led by the ~UA West player of the year, fourth-year centre
Kevin Stienstra, who led all scorers with 15 points in the fIrst half. The Warriors. were paced by GrahamJarman with 10 points, while Sovran and Andrew Coatsworth contributed nine each. Gerard l\fagennis chipped in with fIve assists. Coadi Tom Kieswetter attributed his team's turnaround to smarter play. ''\Ve played tough defence and we were getting good shots because of gOQd ball movement," he said. The Wamors continued their torrid play to open the second half, building their lead to as much as nine points at 51-42. But this time it was the Badgers who were able to answer back and regain control of the momentum. Stienstraled them back into the game by scoring on three consecutive trips down the floor and they went on a 237 run to build a 65-58 lead ~1.th six minutes remaining. With their chances dwindling, Waterloo forward Chtis Edwards took a pass on the fast break and laid it in while being fouled, bringing the crowd to their feet. He made the free throw to bring the Warriors wi.thin one ~1.th fIve minutes to play. Thatwould be as dose as the\Varriors would get on this day, however, as for the final fIve minutes they continually missed open shots, scoring but one point in the closing minutes as Brock went on to a 71--65 victory. It was a stinging defeat for the W'arriors, who had placed high expettations on themselves. "It hurts," said Kieswetter. ''When you play so hard and so well, you expect to come out ~1.th a win. ~ t is to their credit though, they made the big shots. We battled for all 40 minutes." Stienstra would finish as leading scorer in the game with 24 points and eight rebounds while playing all but
s
the final three seconds ofthe game. He was named player of the game. The Warriors were led by Munkley with 17 points in the game. Waterloo's second half shooting struggles ultimately cost them the game as they shot just 28.1 per cent in the second half, including an abysmal 0-9 on three pointers. Brock shot an impressive 51.9 per cent for the game and 50 per cent from beyond the arc. ''Theyplayedreallystrongdefence,'' said Kieswetter. "We had chances to make shots but had some shots rim out. We had three trips in a row (at 654Brock) where we got good shots, but they didn't fall for us. That was big momentum s''i'ing.'' The loss marked the final home game for seven graduating Warriors, including the three co-captains, Jarman, Munkleyand Sovran. With the win the Ba,dgers will now host undefeated Carleton in a battle for the Wilson Cup in the ~UA final on Saturday, March 12. The Ravens advanced by ~1.nning the 0 U A East final over Ottawa 6863-. The game will pit the top two teams in the national rankings against each other. As for the \'V'arriors, they must now wait to find out their seeding for the CIS Championships in Halifax that take place fromMarch 17-20. They will try to use the lessons learned in this game to help them in that highpressure tournament. Kieswetter feels that his team should have as good a chance as auyin Halifax. 'We just took the number two team in the country down to the last minute," he said. 'We are healthy now. If we can be a little more fortunate with our shooting then I like our chances."
GLENN BARTLEY
jrowe@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Warriors forward Dave Munkley tries a long range jumper in the Warriors' 71路651055 to Brock in the QUA West division final.
Figure skaters surprise with bronze at provincials Jason Kennedy SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
The Waterloo Warriors' figure skating team placed a surprising third place at the 2005 ~UA Championships, upsetting the traditional powerhouses Western and Toronto, who fmished last year's 'championship one-two respectively. The UniversityofWestern Ontario hosted the event on March 3 and 4 attheWestern Fair Sports Centre in London. For the Warriots, it all came down to the fInal event: synchronized skating. Waterloo was in third place headirlgintothe final skate with the heavily favoured Toronto Varsity Blues at their heels. The Warriors needed at least a tie with Toro.ntoin this eventto capture the bronze medal. The \~rarriors had a slight fall at the beginning of their program but fmished the balance ofthe program cleanly.
When the results for the event were published, the Warriors were tied With Toronto but ended up winning the bronze medal in the overall team standings by a small margin of three points, 58-55. . Afterwards, coach Karen Hinnegan commented on the team's impressive performance at the ~UA championships, "Every team member of the Warriors came through with outstanding skates this weekend. We received more ribbons at this event than at any other over the past three years." In 15 events, the Warriors took home five medals including gold in two dance events, the senior s~ver solo dance and the bronzerhyt:hn\ dance. Sarah Norris had an outstanding champions hips that saw her ~ the gold medal in the senior silver solo dance event. She also captured the silvermedal in the dance variation '\\1.th Sheridan
Hinnegan. The silver medal wa搂 the culty of their program saw them get capping offan undefeated season that highest the two placed all season. awarded with the silver medal. This saw them win both the Queen's SkatWarriors skatersMeaghan Gleason, was also the best result ofthe season ing Invitational and the Laurier SkatLindsay Cloke, Patricia Williams and for this team. Also for the Warriors, ing Invitational. Lisa Erven teamed up to win the gold Chantal Massicotte placed third in the The host team and defending silver medal in the bronze rhythm dance as junior silver ladies event. medallists, the Western Mustangs, they skated to the Argentine Tango. . For the male skaters, Leo Kwong placed fifth with 52 points. This was They performed a very technically difplaced an impressive second in the Westp:t's worst placing of the season. fIcult program with a lot of tango open men's event. The event proved The bronze medal at this year's expressions to win this event. This to be Kwong's best performance of ~UA Ch~pionships at Western was also the team's best placement in the season as he landed the most clean , marks the end of the Warriors' ftgure this event for the past two seasons. jump element of the program. skating season. The Warriors were not First place honours went to the Warriors team .skaters Katie expected to place on the podium at Benkovich, KaraMc1fahon, Katrina , defending champions Queens Unithis year's event and if one asks coach Low and Emma Haines skated their versity who finished all the events Karen Hinnegan for the secret to the best program of the year to finish with with an outstanding 112 points, Warriors' success, she will simply refa third place in the pairs fours event. while second place was awarded to erencethe team'swotkethic. "Since the According to coach Hinnegan, this the Brock Badgers who fmished,vith Laurier Invitational, the Warriors have was made possible by "their ability to 62 points. worked extremely hard to improve in Queen's captured the title in conskate quickly and perfolm the proeach event and all of their hard work gram as team." vincing fashion, fmisrung in the top paid offbywinning the ~UA bronze three in all but two events. medal!" In pairs skating, Hinnegan and Norris teamed up to skate the foxtrot The victory gave Queens their 19th dance variation. The speed and difftOU A championship title since 1970,
a
26~
FRIDAY, MARCH 11, 2005
Tiger gets his bite back His win atDoralmO'\TedTigerahead Tiger let his game play second fiddle to of2004 player of the year Vijay Singh lifelastyear,weddingthedrool-inducinto top spot in the World Golf ing Swedish model-turned-nanny Elin Rankings, a position that Tiger held Nordegren last fall. And lets face it, with a woman like that cheering him for the better part ofseven years before Singh took over top spot last fall. And on from behind the ropes, who could he regained world number one in true blame him for his sub-par 2004? Tiger fashion: with a dramatic, finalHowever, with his new life as a Adam McGuire round, come-from-behind, youmattied man now old-hat for Tiger, he IMPRINT STAFF haven't-got-a-chance-against-him vicis once again prepared to resume his tory in a Sunday duel with none other record-setting career goals and'vith Forgive Tiger Woods ifhis trademark than PhilI\fickelson, the hottest golfer the number-one ranking once again smile is just a little wider afterwinning on the tour thus far in 2005. under his belt, Tiger is poised to right last week's Ford Championship. And what makes it sweeter for the the ship. Don't be surprised if 2004 And why wouldn't he be happy? living legend is the irony of the whole turns out to be the worst year of Tiger's win at Doral Golf Resort in thing. A year ago, Tiger's so-called Tiger's already storied career. Woods is I\fiami was his secop.d title of 2005, slump was all the rage as golf pundits once again the best player on the planet already doubling his win total from leaped off the Woods bandwagon fast shattering the "mortal Tiger" image last season. Also, with the most recent enough to sprain,an ankle: Now, Tiger faster than the $1 00,000 video camera ofhis 42 career victories, Tiger eamed is once again the heir apparent and he took aim at during a Nike commera cool $990,000 U.S. and vaulted himcolurimists across the globe are makdalshoot. self to second on the PGA tour's ing the kinds of U-turns only journalIfhis win at Doral proves anything, money listwith just over $2.3 million . ists can get away with. But the irony is . it's thatTigeris back - justin time for U.S. in earnings this year. likely not lost on the soft-spoken yet the Masters in April. Don't be surBut Tiger's win in the Ford Champroud Woods, who has to be stoking prised to see Tiger at the top of that a massive "I told you so" fire inside pionship was more than just another leaderboard and don't be surprised if 990,000 notches in the most expensive himself right about now. he makes a run at golfs grand slam of belt in America. And it's more than Last year, everyone was trying to majors in 2005. another piece ofcrystalm a trophy case figure out why Tiger Woods suddenly Now fha/would be something for that's already the sizeofUtah. ForTtger seemed human. The answer was exTiger to smile about. Woods, this win meant one thing. actly that - Tiger Woods was acting Tiger is back. more human. The now 29-year-old , amcguire@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Silver lining for defen4ing indoor hockey champions Steve Utz
title with a dramatic 3-2 decision in penalty strokes after regulation and ten minutes of extended time concluded ina 1-1 draw. Watching a Cinderella playoff run Fittingly, it was a tremendous toeunfold, one always wonders when the save byoutstretchedLionskeeperSarah proverbial glass slipper is going to Forbes off UW sharpshooter Meagan drop and whisk the upstart team out Wilson in the third round of penalty of the post-season ball. Unfortunately strokes that changed the momentum of for the Waterloo Warriors, the clock the sudden death showdown. Forbes, . never struck midnight on the host the unquestionable star of the game, York Lions' improbable march tothe sealed the victory bymakingasuccessful . gold medal game of the OUA indoor stroke ofher own in the fifth round and hockey finals. subsequently pouncing on Victoria In a game featutingtwo teams with similar defensive styles, the last-seeded . Lounder's final effort for Waterloo. Yet all game the Warriors found . Lions broke the hearts of the defendthemselves in a tight struggle for vicing champion Warriors, taking the SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
with her open palm in the crease, retory against a determined opponent, sulting in an unobstructed penalty and trailed the Lions 1-0 after a fivehole strike from a broken short comer stroke. Theversatile ~conomics major from UW made no mistake in squarplay eluded Waterloo keeper Kate ing the affair, deking left while firing a Betts-Wilmot with 7:01 to go. bullet !ato the right side of the cage, Having previously defeated the causing the 30 supporters who had University of Guelph 1-0 in the semifinal to reach the pivotal contest, the , made the trip to erupt into tumultuous applause. Warriors' title defense and entire seaSaid Warriors head coach Dave son would rest on the shoulders of Hammond after the game, "I fifth-year defender and first-team thought our team showed a lot of OUAall-starJessalynJennings a little clfaractercoming back to tie the game. over four minutes later. We pressed them throughout the After creating a frantic scramble in game, and even in the overtime [pefront of the York goal from their riod] I felt that we held most of the seventh short comer of the game, a play." York defender touchedJennings'shot The statistics from the game confirmed the coach's assertions. \Vater100 created 11 good scoring chances to a lone opportunity for York through the first 23 minutes of play, in which Forbes was clearly the difference. . "It's frustrating, but what can you say?" philosophized Hammond. "She [ForbesJis the goalie for the national team. We knew that we were playing againsithe bestgoalkeeperin the counc try." In spite of the fact that they knew that they would be facing a strong challenge between the pipes, \'{laterloo had every reason to believe that a second straight title would come their way when the Lions had previously knocked offthe heavily favoured Varsity Blues in the other semi-final. "That was a brgsurprise," said sec+ ond-year forwardJ essimButton after the semi-final result was known, Determined Hammond. '~Te weren't expecting that, but clearly they [York] played well. Obviously, this changed our thoughts and our preparation." a showing! However, no amount of preparation could combatthe officiating, which
SECURE YOUR "STUDENT HOUSING" NEEDS FOR SEPTEMBER 2005-2006 Free Give-aways!
t
www .. ha.neypm.com or call
746-1411
to set up
was the so~ce of the game's greatest controversy. With 17:55 left to play, an errant neutral zone pass appeared to be deflected in the scoring zone by Wilson past the bewildered Forbes. Unfortunately, the ruling on the field held that the UW forward had illegally caused the ball to change direction with her foot, negating the shot that would have broken the goose eggs in Waterloo's favour. DisputedJennings audibly from'the field, "It was a [slight] touch, but a touch nonetheless." In the end, the Warriors were simplyo~ the wrong side ofthe inch allday, hitting the post once and twice driving strikes from hard fought scoring opportunities wide of the mark. Butperhaps a harder pill to swallow than 路the defeat was the news that this maywell be the last year at the helm for the \vildly successful Hammond. Described by UW Athletics DirectorJudy McCrae as a very intelligent coach who gets the most out of his players, it was rumoured before the final game that it might well be the last for the doctoral candidate in pyschology. "I'm still really hoping that he will come back," expressed second year defender Jenna Adleman. "He's the best coach thatI've ever had throughout my entire athletic career." . Echoed Guelph Gryphon Caitlin Brady, "He turns the talent that he has into a perennial contender by employing the system that he does. It was almost impossible to make a single defender to defender pass against Waterloo in the semi-final." The respect is ~learly mutual. All season long the head coach has described his players as champions. For him, even in Saturday's loss, they lived up to this description.
27
FRIDAY. MARCH 11, 2005
los to u s Rod Mclachlan IMPRINT STAFF
Despite a convincing 3-0 \v1n on Saturday, March 5 at the elF arena to tie the best-of-three OUA \'\'est semi-final series at one game apiece, the \X'arriorsmen'5 hockey team was unsuccessfulin its quest to defeat the juggernaut that is the \';'estern i\fustangs. The £tnal nail in UW's coffin carne on Sunday, March 6 in the form of a game three 4-11055 in London at the hands of the sixth-best team in thccounu-y. "\X'e came pretty dose to advancing -- one g~une from advancing," said U\'{'head coach Karl Taylor. "\Y/e lost the first game of both series-agains t Law:ier [and against \Xlestern] - so we played four elimination games. In three games, we won." Taylor added that he feels that many of his new players are beginning to realize just how s!:inn the playoffs can be at the university level. The factthat the series even wentthe distance certainly serves as a testament to the vast improvement that UW has undergone in the past two seasons. \,\'1,en asked what his goals were for next year, Taylor said "a national championship." "The day that it isn't [our goal] is the year to give up. But if you don't do if (win a champion-ship), that doesn't necessarily mean you've failed," said Taylor in cryptic reference to the way this season turned out. As a result of the positive development that has occUlTed, \"\'aterloo's athletes and coaching staff cleaned house when it came tunc to announce the OUA \'7e8t division's annual major award winners. But Taylor took a philosophical approach to the announcement that he and four ofhis players had received accolades. "} don't think that individual awards should ever be used to measure the success of a program. I tbinkifyou askedanyofourgU)-s, theywould u-ade it (their award) fotachanceto beplayjl1gLakehead tonight," said Taylor this past Wednesday. Nevertheless, Curtis Darling, arguably \Vate:rloo's best player, was selected Rookie of the \'car and was named to the \\'es t division's first all-scar team and its all-rookie team. Taylor, who recognized him as a diamond in the rough during lJ'\V's recruitirlgdrive, was selected as QUA \'l/estCoachofthe Year. Under Taylor's leadership, the \'i/arriors' regu lar season record has been transformed from a dismal 1-22 in 2002-2003, the year before his arrival, to J 3-8-3 this year. \1(l aterloo's laudable season featured a 10game unbeaten streak, including two 'Wins each
against nationally-ranked Lakehead and Western. U\1V' rookie Shawn Germain, a native of St. Paul, Alberta, was named J\lost Sportsmanlike in the OCA \'fest. Rounding out \V'aterloo's sweep of the awards\vas team captain Chris Hopiavuori, who was selected as the Randy Gregg nominee. Rookie left \vinger Doug Spooner, joining Darling, was also named to the all-rookie team. Spooner, who had 20 points and 28 penalty minutes in 24 games, was an integral component oflJ\1("s best line that also featured K.evin I-I urley (22 points) and Matt Levicki (24 points). In fact, his tearrunate Hurley was the only Waniorto score during last Sunday's 4-1 defeat in the final game against \X'estern. His goal came just a little over four minutes into the third period. However, it was too little, too late as the Mustangs had already built up a 2-0 lead in the second period before adding two insurance goals in the third - one three minutes after Hurley's goal and the other into an empty Warriors' net with 17 seconds left. The night before was remarkably different with the \X<' aterloo building a 2-0 lead on goals by Sean Roche and Spooner before U\1I7's Geoff Rivers added an empty netter in the third to cap off Darling's shutout victory. The \X"arr10rs were clearly supported by almost 800 hometown fans that bore witness to some exceptionalspecial-teamsplapvith UWkillingoff 1openalties, induding a 73-second five·on-three. GameoneonMarch3wasalsoahard-f(-JUght affair \I;ith \Vatexloo rallying fwm a two-goal
st
Warriors forward Doug Spooner celebrates his goal in the Warriors' 3-0 victory over Western in game two of their QUA west division semi-final. The Warriors lost the series, when Western won the decisive third game 4·1.
first-period def1cl r tc~ tie tht:·· grunc Adam Metherd and Jordan Brenner. Yet:, a costly boarding penalty by R~he in overtime gave Western's Jamie Chamberlain all the room he ,vowd need on the pc)\ver play to score the game \,>inner as the i\fustangs '.vent on to a 3·2 victory. Datling once again deserved kudos in that game as he stopped 46 of\Xiestern's 49 shots. As \X,'aterloo prepares for next season they \"ill likely lose Hopiavuori, Metherel, Trevor Graham and third-string goalie Matt McGahey. \X'ithour naming names, Taylor said that he has an early eye on a few possible recmits - a couple pure scorers - t.l-j,at could help ease C'W"s offensive woes for next year, a year in which he hopes to see a few of the returning players step up and lead the \'i/arriors even deeper into the playoffs.
rmclachlan@imprint.uw8terloo.ca
unteer Opportunity Warrior Weekends Term Directors f
The Warrior Weekends Committee is currently recruiting directors for the Spring 2005 and Fan 2005 terms! Enhance your event management and leadership skills within a team setting. Gain skills in special-event planning, budgeting~ advertising. marketing, volunteer management and more. Join the Warrior Weekends team! Successful candidates must be fun time registered undergraduate and graduate students (including c.o-op) in good academic standing and must be available tor three weekends in the Spling 2005 teml, or tour weekends in the Fall 2005 term. For more infonllation regarding the posi tions visi t: _,0•.',.;.',,;.,;>-._,";•. ,,;0.;;;";0;;.,0;.;:,., •.:,,:.;.,.:'".';'.. ;';;'""'.;.;,;;,,".'.,0":;';':;:;,.;;':.•:;"._;.'::0,;
Join the Team! Interested applicants are asked to SUbUlit their resume with an accompanying cover letter to the Student Life Office by
Thursday Marcl'! 24th, 2005 For further infonnation please contact
SIMONA CHERlER
Warriors defenceman Chris Hopiavuori battles along the boards with a Western Mustangs player in the March 5 contest.
Katherine Ropp Student Life Assistant Student Life Office, Needles Han 3006
(519) 888-4567 ext.6993