Family Hospice 2014 Winter Newsletter

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Coming to Terms with Loss Bob “Scrummy” Adams lived with joy, had no regret and believed you could work through any dispute if you just sat down and talked it through together. He worked at U. S. Steel, served as a volunteer firefighter and threw legendary Christmas Eve parties. When his wife died at age 36, he raised four children on his own, including daughter Ann, who still resides in the family home they shared for years. Bob lived out his final days at Family Hospice and Palliative Care’s Mt. Lebanon inpatient center in 2012. Ann remembers it vividly, in particular how the staff cared for her and for her family with the same skill and compassion they demonstrated towards her father. Staff recognized that her dad’s death would be difficult for Ann and encouraged her to take advantage of the 13 months of bereavement support afforded to caregivers through the Medicare hospice benefit, which can include individual counseling. “I’m not someone who’s used to talking about very personal things, so I couldn’t imagine what we could possibly talk about for a whole hour,” Ann recalls, “but that all went away when Mara came to the house, put her things down and got on the floor with Kal. “Mara” is Family Hospice Bereavement Counselor Mara Baginski and “Kal” is Ann’s beloved greyhound. To Ann’s surprise, the hour flew by, and the two scheduled an appointment for the next month. Ann and Mara met regularly over the next year. “Back when my mom died, no one talked about it. We all just moved on. Mara helped me recognize that when my dad died, I lost my mom, my dad and my friend all at once. I couldn’t ‘move on’ again without help.” Help meant taking time for tears. It meant encouraging Ann to reconnect with her church community. It meant grieving anew when Kal died. It also meant letting go of the guilt Ann was carrying, the feeling that she should have “made people listen” when she suspected her father’s cancer had returned. This was an arduous process for Ann. “One day, Mara asked me to visualize my dad sitting in the recliner again and then imagine what he would say. I told her he’d probably ask what I’d done to the living room because I’d painted and rearranged the furniture, and he wasn’t one for change. But he

Family Hospice & Palliative Care 50 Moffett Street Pittsburgh, PA 15243

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2014 WINTER NEWSLETTER

certainly wouldn’t say that I hadn’t done enough. That was a real breakthrough for me.” The other thing Mara helped Ann do was give herself permission to have fun again, when she was ready. “Mara explained that this was how Dad would live on in us,” Ann smiled. “He would want me to enjoy life.” And with that, true to her father’s legacy, Ann returned to Thanksgiving preparations, ready to host family the next day. Bob would be pleased. To learn more about our bereavement outreach, call 412-572-8829 or visit FamilyHospicePA.org.

Reaching Diverse Communities S

hould you find yourself in need of inspiration, you can do no better than gospel music shaking the rafters of the historic Wesley Center AME Zion Church in the Hill District, as was the case on a recent Sunday night. As evening fell, song and spirits soared at the “Festival of Voices,” a concert of local choirs and gospel talent featuring special guest vocalist and award-winning gospel artist Bishop Yvette Flunder. Sponsored by Family Hospice and Palliative Care, the gathering was one of several recent outreach efforts in the African-American community, a population less likely to elect hospice at end of life.

The Mission of Family Hospice and Palliative Care is to provide compassionate, quality comfort care that enhances the lives of people with life-limiting illness and their families.

Gifting Stock as a Charitable Contribution

As the end of the calendar year approaches, many people are thinking about their year-end gifts to charity and asking for smart tax planning ideas. Donating appreciated stock (or mutual fund shares) from your investment portfolio instead of cash can yield tax benefits to you in addition to a meaningful contribution to the charity. Gifts of securities that you have held for at least 12 months and one day may be made directly to Family Hospice and Palliative Care and are eligible for tax deductions equal to their full market value on the date the gift is received by the charity. For donors who utilize this gifting strategy, capital gain tax that you would have paid will be avoided. This is a nice way to manage your portfolio particularly if you have one large stock position that has a very low cost that you are reluctant to sell. If you would like further information on gifts of stock to charity, talk with your broker or your financial advisor. For instructions on making gifts of stock to Family Hospice and Palliative Care contact Lynn Helbling Sirinek, Vice President, Philanthropy at 412-572-8874.

Mission Statement

Board of Directors

Bishop Flunder, pastor of the City of Refuge United Church of Christ in Oakland, California, wasted no time in meeting any apprehensions around end-of-life discussion head-on. “You can’t really live until you quit worrying about how you are going to die. You can decide whether you are going to go coach or first class. My determination is to finish well,” she exhorted those gathered. “We value the opportunity to gather in an affirming way to offer useful information about end-of-life care in conjunction with the concert,” said Family Hospice Spiritual Care Specialist and Transitions Project Leader Reverend Mary Lovett. The Transitions program is designed to increase awareness of and access to services that support families facing life-limiting illness within the African-American community of Pittsburgh’s Greater North Side.

Continued inside right

Robert E. Butter, Chair Deborah Brodine, Vice Chair Bruce Austin, Secretary Paul Winkler, Immediate Past Chair Kathi R. Boyle Kimberly Ward Burns

David Friedland, MD Joseph E. Kennedy Barry C. Lembersky, MD Lisa Turbeville Markowski Sandra Tomlinson G. Alan Yeasted, MD Barbara Ivanko, President and CEO

Institutional Advancement Committee Lisa Turbeville Markowski, Chair Robert E. Butter Ruth G. Foltz Nancy F. Gannon

Caroline Hellwig Jane D. Johnson Joseph E. Kennedy Christine McMahon Tumpson

FamilyHospicePA.org


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