Psychic Ted
H
e called himself ‘Ted’ – half-blind, his milky white eye stared at me while his gnarled hands plucked a tarot card from the deck. “Interesting,” he muttered, flipping over the card to reveal…well, I can’t remember exactly. I think it had a guy with a sword sticking out of his chest on it. See, this was back in January. I found myself at a psychic expo sitting opposite an elderly gent with a cheeky grin, trying to impress a girl who asked me to tag along with her. Yeah…don’t ask. Ted later assured me the bloke-impaledwith-a-sword-card didn’t mean death; in fact, he managed to convince me I’d win a competition in June instead. Well, June came and went and I won bugger all. Refusing to believe Ted’s prediction was wrong, I sought out the man who promised me untold riches. I found him at the Burnside Ballroom psychic expo giving a reading to a pair of young women, who were hanging onto his every word. For 35 bucks a session, I didn’t blame them. Once Ted lost his connection with the spirits (they only work for 30 minutes at a time), the reading was over and the girls left with puzzled expressions on their faces. What mysteries Ted divulged I don’t know, but it didn’t matter, I was seeking my own answers. Unfortunately, my introduction was met with a blank stare – Ted had no idea who I was (insert psychic pun here).
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Remembering a prediction he made seven months ago seemed out of the question. No matter, I guess I ‘won’ a few things in June, sport matches and the like, so I was willing to give ol’ Ted the benefit of the doubt. Besides, with more than 50 years’ experience, I figured he could enlighten me in the ways of the clairvoyant. “I’ve been doing this for half a century,” Ted began, “I’m pretty straightforward – I call a spade a spade, I don’t do airy fairy stuff.” Ted saw his first spirit when he was 18, six weeks after his father died. “My dad appeared to me as clear as you do now, scared the shit out of me,” he laughed, “Dad said ‘You’re doing a good job Ted’ and whoosh! Off he went.” When his mother passed away, Ted joined local psychic groups and honed his technique before creating the ‘Psychic Exploration Association’ in the early 80s, which held the first psychic day in Adelaide.