Ultra Magazine - April 2017

Page 16

Calling Up

FISH ULTRA HUMORIST Many years ago, shortly after the San sunburned and fishless, wondering what Jacinto River quit being the plain he was going to tell his wife and old San Jacinto River and started neighbors. being Lake Houston, several By Newt Harlan old boys around this part of the Enter deliverance in the guise of country took up fishing. I’m not talking the River Rats in an old aluminum about all the folks who held full-time skiff or a beat up old truck with signs jobs and went out and invested a small fortune in new boats and rods proclaiming “Live Catfish @ $.30/lb.--Dressed @ $.40/lb.” This was and reels and stuff so they could be sport fishermen out on the lake on exactly what many of the weekend warriors were looking for. They weekends. The old boys I’m talking about are what we called “River could run and play and drink beer at the marina and then for $10 Rats” who had always stayed along the riverbanks, camping or living in or $20, go home with an ice chest full of catfish filets to satisfy their shacks while poaching and living off the land. Old boys who didn’t like wives and their great fisherman image with the neighbors. working a regular job and chose to do whatever pleased them and not starting that until they got dang good and ready. The River Rats were The River Rats enjoyed the money that rolled in from these weekend happy as long as the booze held out and they had a place to sleep and a endeavors; however there were a few problems. Mainly, catching all little belly wadding when they got hungry. these fish was more work than the boys were used to doing. While many folks considered it fun, the River Rats thought putting out trotlines, The boys weren’t real thrilled with the new lake at first since it gave too keeping them baited and then taking the fish off was more work than many prying eyes access to their secret places, but it didn’t take long for they really wanted to get into very often...They much preferred to stay them to figure out that the lake was more of a blessing than a hindrance. at their camp and drink their wine, but that didn’t pay too well. They tried gill nets with some success. All they had to do was put the It worked like this. Most of the weekend sport fishermen had no clue nets out and then collect the fish that were entangled in them every as to what they were doing. They’d come out and put their new boats 3 hours or so. They gave that up since it was against the law and the in the water and buzz around all day, drinking beer and styling for the game wardens got too hot because the sportsmen kept getting their girls down at the marina. Of course this behavior didn’t do much toward outboards tangled in their nets and reporting them. putting fresh fish on the wife’s supper table, not to mention those of all the neighbors he’d bragged to about what a great fisherman he was. They tried dynamite, but it was noisy and attracted too much Needless to say, at the end of the day here sat our sportsman, half drunk, attention. They quit when Ropey tried to throw a stick overboard, but

Honest Lies and Other Misguided Thoughts

16

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