SPARKS FROM TH E UN I VERSITY the aid of two large boilers and a thousand feet of steam hose, he was thawed out and brought back to Moscow in time to take part in the Pullman track meet. The only thing that saved Mr. Larson's life was his ability to adapt himself to his environment.
SAD ENDING OF A GREAT HEAD. Bellicose S. Morrow Precipitated From the Di:::;y Heights of the Administratio1~ Tower. Moscow, Idaho, April 30.-Bellicose S. Morrow, jaw artist, while making some scientific obsen·ations on Polaris, became so engrossed in his work that he fell from the Administration tower and was dashed to the sidewalk below, but not causing instant death. In falling he struck the roof and when he severed his connections with the latter he turned a complete somersa ul t in the air, striking his head on the sidewalk. T he velocity at impact was very great, as can readily be seen by the familiar formula, V= 1/ • g s. , where V equals the velocity, g the gall and s the sore head (as it naturally would be so re under the circumstances). The packing in his head was such that he immediately commenced to bounce, and, after three days of simple harmonic motion, was shot to be kept from starving to death. We grieve much over the loss of this worthy senior.
MR. CULVER DIES IN EXCRUCIATING AGONY. Commits Suicide Because of False Love of a Woman. Moscow, Idaho, April 30.-The public wi ll be startled to learn of the sad demise of Mr. H. Culver, a promising young mining engineer of great strength. He was missed at the fraternity house this morning, but nothing was thought of it until noon, when his room was broken into and he was found dead upon his bed It seems that the young lady to whom he was engaged became infatuated with the advertising agent for "How would you like to be taller," and eloped. The shock was so se,·ere that Mr. Culver obtained a box of the noted Dr. Lovelorn's Anti Love Pellets at Hodgins' drug store with the hope that they would alleviate his intense suffer ing; but he must have been unsuccessful. as a bottle o f carbolic acid was found grasped in one hand and a lock of nut brown hair lovingly entwined through the fingers of the other. The editors think that such heartless treatment as the deceased has received for the past two years ought to be punishable by not less than six months in the penitentiary, or else the culprit be made to diet on marriage licenses for thirty days.
HARROWING ESCAPE. Moscow, Idaho. April 30.-\Vhile dreamingly wandering about the campus last e,·ening. Mr. Gustavus Adolphus Stockholm Larson met with a narrow escape. At first it was thought that he had been dynamited by the nihilists, but on further im·estigation it was decided that the jar, when he walked. due to his great weight. had exploded the gasoline tank near the Administration building. The enormous energy due to the explosion carried Mr. Larson out into space, where he was soon lost to ,·iew. When finally found he was buried in a snow drift on the top of Moscow Mountain, where, with
Nan Hoyt was lecturing to a P rep class and told them at the end of her lecture that if there was anything that they didn't understand to ask Bill Schultz.
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