Common American Sex Problems
The List: l.) My nipples are itchy. (Does this sound like you?) 2.) There is not enough semen when I ejaculate. (Does this sound like you?) 3.) l cannot find my penis. (Does this sound like you?) 4.) I do not posses the physical rhythm required to participate in high-quality sex. (Does this sound like you?) 5.) My scrotum looks like the skin of a plucked chicken. (Does this sound like you?) 6.) My scrotum feels like a bag of worms. (Does this sound like you?) 7.) I hate my scrotum. (Does this sound like you?) 8.) I get a headache during sex. (Does this sound like you?) 9.) My orgasms are more like mini-orgasms. (Does this sound like you?) 10.) 1 worry that my vagina looks exactly like my mother's vagina. (Does this sound like you?) 11.) I don't have anyone to have sex with, unfortunately. (Does this sound like you?) 12.) My genitals smell awfui.(Does this sound Like you?) 13.) There is a condqm stuck somewhere deep inside of me. (Does this sound like you?) 14.) I cannot stop dropping tiny ball bearings down my penis hole right before l ejaculate during masturbation. (Does this sound like you?) 15.) lam in love with a prostitute. (Does this sound like you?) 16.) I keep having unintentional orgasms in situations having nothing to do witl1 love-making. (Does this sound Like you?) 17.) I get so extraordinarily wet that my lover's penis cannot create any friction within my vagina. (Does this sound like you?) 18.) My anus has become too large. (Does this sound like you?) 19.) I continue to mistake the anus for the vagina. (Does this sound like you?) 20.) I recently broke roy penis whUe engaged in strenuous lovemaking. (Does this sound like you?) 21.) I want to make love to a small child. (Does this sound like you?) 22.) My vagina is roo tight. (Does this sound like you?) 23.) I have a severe spinal injury that prevents me from having sex. (Does this sound like you?) 24.) I am having feelings of ambivalence towards the new penis that a group of doctors have grown on 路my arm and are planning to attach to my groin area, to replace the one that I lost in a threshing incident. l appreciate and am amazed by the fact that technology has come this far, and of course 1am happy to be receiving a new penis, but what I want more than anything is to go back to a time whe拢)-1 still had my old penis, to a time when 1 was young and vibrant and wild, when I could drink a fifth of whiskey in the evening, make love to my sweetheart like a bucking bronco all night, and get up at dawn the next morning and work the thresher like a grand piano, though l know this is not possible. (Does this sound like you?) This is an award-winning site Wimer 路 Spring 2009
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