FUGUE # 13,
Spring/Summer 1996
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Jim Gardiner
P. Chem. of Literary Criticism "If it isn't quantifiable, it isn't worth knowing." -Goeffrey Lord Esterbridge
It is not sufficient to speak of thus-and-such an author as a "literary great," or the exemplar of a particular school, style, or tradition. Not until we can say, at least in relative, but preferably in absolute, terms, precisely how great the author in question is, do we have any real grasp of the matter. To take one example among many possible, von Lebensraum (1888) demonstrated that in the works of any given author, the use of onomotopeia (m) varies directly with alliteration (a), but inversely with irony (i) and the square of wordiness (w). The relationship of these variables is given in the von Lebensraum equation:
In which R is the gas constant, C is a constant unique to a particular author; and )l is left unexplained to confuse and irritate the reader. The above equation is most useful for comparing the various works of a single author. If comparison is desired between diverse authors, however, or even between later and earlier works of the same author, the equation loses validity. This is principally because the value of C, the von Lebensraum constant, becomes problematical. The unfortunate fact is that C does not remain constant during the life of the author, but tends to increase with age. It is, on this account, often preferable to use the approach of Chang, Guzman, and Mukerjee (1948), who first defined a Literary Constant(/..):
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