Sex, Love & Relationships
WARNING
EXPLICIT CONTENT
BLUEMOON Your free student magazine
Kealie Mardell | Print Editor This issue has to be one of the most fun that I’ve worked on, seeing just how far we can push the boundaries on sex, love and relationships. As always, thank you to everyone who contributed articles or images and filled in the BlueMoon sex survey. If I thought coming up with the questions was entertaining it was nothing compared to reading all your answers! I hope you enjoy reading this issue just as much as I did putting it together. If you’ve got a story to share with us, whether it’s a sexy secret, blind date disaster, or Valentine’s plans, you can find us on Facebook or Twitter @TridentMediaUK.
Brad Johnson | Deputy Print Editor
When asked to think of something witty or kinky to write in my editorial, I somehow drew a blank. I believe that there is someone out there for everyone but whether uni is the place to find them can be contested. I would say that I have had my fair share of dates during uni and the majority have gone well. My best advice would be just ‘go for it’ and try to relax. The worst thing you can do is go in with a set mind before you even go on the first date. Enjoy the issue and get to grips with some naughty content for our Valentine’s and sex special!
Laura Noakes | Deputy Print Editor I love Valentine’s Day, whether I am in a relationship or not, it’s a great day to show someone you care! This year, I’m single, so I am going to see Fifty Shades of Grey with a few of my friends and I cannot wait! Whether you are having a low-key Valentine’s Day with your significant other, planning a kinky night or simply getting together with your friends, I hope you have a fantastic day, and I hope you find something in this month’s BlueMoon to inspire you.
Shannen Rock | VP Comms & Media
DESIGN BY EMMA LANGSCHIED & KEALIE MARDELL
Hi everyone, and welcome to the third issue of BlueMoon, the guys have turned into right cheeky little minxes! I hope you enjoy the issue and Happy Valentine’s Day! On a slightly different note, I really wanted to let you all know that the Students’ Union Elections are now open for nominations, so if you are interested in becoming an Elected Officer be sure to get your nominations in on time! It is such a fantastic opportunity and personally I have had a wonderful experience. If you want to know more, speak to the elected officers, attend the workshops and find out more information at hertfordshire.su. Thanks all!
PRINT EDITOR Kealie Mardell
COPY EDITOR Sean Howlett
EDITOR IN CHIEF Shannen Rock
DEPUTY PRINT EDITORS Brad Johnson Laura Noakes
CONTRIBUTORS Linu George Aimone Sharif Charlotte Mullin Jennie Couling Charlotte Green Aiden Perrins Eleanor Pilcher Chloe Burrowes Caz Ataman Daniel Bush
CONTACT vp.comms@hertfordshire.su
SUB EDITORS
Emma Langschied (Design) Rebecca Harding (Photos) Shelby Loasby (News) Mercedes Brazier (Sports) Taveena Atsu (Features) Krystyna King (Events)
VP Comms & Media Hertfordshire Students’ Union College Lane Hatfield Herts, AL10 9AB TridentMedia.org Facebook.com/TridentMediaUK
Disclaimer: Opinions are the writers own and are not endorsed by Trident Media or Hertfordshire Students’ Union
y s ’ p e p n a i H lent a V CONTENTS ;) 4.SEX SURVEY
6.BLIND DATE
10.PORN
12.WEIRD SEX TOYS
14.INNER SEX ANIMAL 16.PICK-UP LINES
18.Recipes 22.LAD CULTURE
17.DATING GUIDE
20.ANTI V-DAY
24.SEX AT UNIVERSITY
26.ALICE IN WONDERLAND 27.THE VOICE
28. FILMS OF 2015
30. HOOLIGAN COLLECTIVE
By Kealie Mardell
STUDENT SEX SURVEY We asked UH students to get down and dirty with BlueMoon and reveal their sexy secrets. We had 100 survey respondents from a mixture of ages, genders and sexualities - we love it any which way! You’re certainly a busy bunch between the sheets so here are some of our findings! 68% of men and 35% of women would have sex with someone they met online
47% of our partipants were single
ip ed s It’ cat nsh i pl latio re
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The shortest time men waited to have sex with someone they met online was a matter of minutes. For the women, it was at least a week.
Single
A shocking 69% have had sex on campus Honestly - we’re not making it up! “It was like HELLO let’s bonk!”
What’s the ultimate turn off on a first date?
Most people were turned off by bad hygiene and rudeness, so be sure to brush your teeth and mind your manners!
College Lane deHavilland 56% of men have slept with someone on the first date compared to only 35% of women
Yes No
What’s the strangest place you’ve had sex?
We had lots of tents, allleys and sheds, with one “on a fridge in a shed.” I have to worry about those of you who’ve been at it in kids playgrounds and treehouses. Some of you clearly didn’t go far, resulting to pub car parks and even The Forum toilets!
No Yes
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56%
34% of men
Have faked an orgasm
33% of men and 10% of women admitted they had cheated on a partner
73% of women
What’s the most embarassing thing that’s happened to you during sex?
42% of men and 46% of women had been cheated on
This question resulted in lots of graphic descriptions of bodily functions and fluids, from farts, vomit, blood and more, with women’s most common concern being “fanny farts.” There was also lots of injuries, anal incidents, and falling asleep. Whatever you’re getting up to, always stay safe! Here’s some of our favourites stories...
“CUM. UP. NOSTRIL.” “I had a Chinese meal in bed with an ex-girlfriend. After we ate we started messing around, and so I went to pour a little bit of curry sauce on her tits. However, it had congealed and 1/2 a pot came out in one lump, exploding on her chest and burning her nipples!”
“My Tom Daley poster fell on the guy’s head!” “Condom was too small and strangled my penis, leading to deflation of the penis area... damn free condoms!”
“Condom slipped off and was inside of me! Guy had to kinda finger me to find it, haha. It was nobody’s fault, really, that it slipped, but it was weird and awkward!”
“I called out my own name.” 5
BLIND DATE
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By Linu George
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Blind dates. They can be amazing or amazingly bad.
When people set you up for blind dates you’re not sure if you should be insulted that your friends think that you can’t find yourself a date, or if you should be grateful that someone cares enough to set it up in the first place. Either way, you go because:
a) It gives you a chance to dress up and hopefully go somewhere fancy b) You really suck at saying no c) Curiosity
BlueMoon set up two blind dates with a secret hope that they would find love and to get some tips for all those who are going on blind dates this Valentine’s Day. For some of these blind daters, the phrase ‘Oh my God, why did I agree to this?’ and ‘I am eating myself inside!’ came to mind….
Meet our blind daters
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Second year English Literature and Film Studies student. April loves to travel and is planning to walk the Great Wall of China in the summer.
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Ap
Also a second year student doing English Literature and Creative Writing. Holly loves to play Sims and is going to ComicCon this year dressed as crazy Carrie, pig blood and all (it’s fake blood).
H Matt is doing his final year of his business degree and he has his own hashtag. #MattCreaseyUnionTV
att
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Naturally, they were all nervous before the date. While the girls were worried about running out of conversation, the guys were worried about looking like a fool and their trousers falling down during the date. As amusing as that might have been, it didn’t happen. But speaking of clothing, the boys and girls mentioned that they do put a little bit more effort when dressing for a blind date. For the guys, it is dressing in smart clothing whereas the girls said that it would depend on the location.
Second year Astrophysics student, Oliver is part of the Assassins Guild Society.
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i l O Like clothes, the level of nervousness was also different between them. While the boys adopted a que sera sera mindset, the girls found it unnerving because as it is blind, you are easily judged just based on your appearance. But the date eventually came and eventually ended. When asked how the date went in three words, these were the answers:
• It went okay. • Never. Ever. Again. • It was fun. • Acceptable, comfortable, easy.
We’ll let you guess who said what!
7
So what actually went on in the date? If you remember, the girls were convinced that awkward silence was their enemy, which one of the two couples did not encounter. They had a pleasant surprise when they found that their hometown was a 25 minute drive from each other. April said it helps when you’re with someone who is a good conversationalist. If you didn’t have anything in common, you can pick up from something that they said. A little bit of effort can really keep the conversation flowing! However, the same couldn’t be said for the other couple. Holly mentioned: “There were awkward silences, mainly when we were eating. He started talking about oysters. But I withheld the one oyster fact I knew – they are an aphrodisiac!” But if you ever experience awkward silence during your blind date, don’t worry - there is hope for you yet. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Your date might just be really shy. There is one thing you can look forward to in a date, and that is the food. While doing the interview, predate, April mentioned avoiding garlic for the date. She said: “Avoid ordering garlic, because you would be tempted to make a joke about kissing with garlic breath and you would need to restrain yourself from making the joke. If by any chance you can’t restrain, then they would think that you don’t want the kiss to be the outcome of the date and it will just get too complicated unless we both ate garlic. But at the same time, I like garlic.”
So I was quite intrigued to know that the couple ordered a garlic bread platter. She had the best of both worlds – her love for garlic won and she made sure that they both ate garlic, in case they were hoping for a positive outcome in the end. But one thing she didn’t consider was eating her garlic bread. “I was talking while I was eating but being lady-like the same time,” she said. “I was picking my bread apart because that's what I do when I eat bread but he was already done by then.”
Apart from the garlic bread, they had hearty main meal and dessert, all of which was enjoyed by the pair. The other couple had some garlic bread as well. Holly mentioned that “originally, he wanted calamari for starters but I didn’t want any so he just went ‘oh, okay then’ which I felt really guilty about.”
But the real question is: with one blind date done, would they do it again? Half of the crowd said yes – the element of surprise was good and now it’s been done, the concept is less daunting. But blind dates are not for everyone. Some of our blind daters felt that they preferred to date someone who they have been friends with. Although some had a more positive experience than others, they all found out that they were a bit more
Photos prezzosrestaurants.co.uk
comfortable during the date once they found something in common and the conversation flowed. Our participants gave us a few dating tips to help you for your impending dates: • Avoid being late. • Do not ignore them or be distant with them. Avoid insulting your date. • Never mention dating history. Celebrity crushes on the other hand, is totally allowed • How you leave the date is important – if it had gone well, really well a kiss is acceptable. If not, then maybe wave goodbye or hug, but hug is optional. Handshake is a definite NO. • Be polite, normal date etiquette is important. • If the other person is shy – try a bit harder to be more polite and chatty and set them at ease. • Dress nice, but don’t drown yourself in Lynx or perfume, you don’t want to choke your date with your smell. • Have fun.
Now that the date was done, did anyone break the rules? Well, actually, yes. One person mentioned their past relationship while another gave their date a handshake at the end of the date.
Did anyone do anything do anything right? None of them drowned themselves in Lynx and none of them were insulted. The dating etiquette was followed, for the most part, and one of the guys even walked their date home. At the end of a blind date, you either go ‘never again’ or bop down the road singing ‘YOU. MAKE. ME. FEEL LIKE I’M LIVING A TEENAGE DREAM!’ Either way, all experience is good experience, even if the experience ends with you saying “give me back my vodka!”
INNOVATION
By Brad Johnson
Does porn rule the internet?
Porn rules the internet and what a ruling it has! According to CovenantEyes, there have been over 2.4 billion porn searches since the start of 2014 and nine out of ten internet porn users access free pornography on their computers or tablets. The most surprising stat is that one in five mobile searches are for porn; bear in mind this is mobile searches - who is watching porn on the tube guys? Own up! By 2015, it was expected that mobile adult subscriptions to porn would reach $1 billion with over $2.8 billion in revenue each year from the industry, but this figure has been seen as high at $13.3 billion from the whole industry. However, can this be
surprising, granted the age of porn access is 18 but deep down we all know that porn has the full attention of men and women of all ages. It has loyalty that TV shows and music artists could only dream of and the best bit is that nearly all of it is free. One website stated that there are 4.2 million porn sites and they make up 12% of the internet. Ask around, and I bet many people can give you a full list of porn sites! Although they only make up 12% of the internet, 40 million Americans regularly watch porn and 42% of internet users view pornography. However, porn has come under fire from those who feel its impact is negative. When asked if “porn is demeaning towards women”, 57% of women said yes opposed to 38% of men. When asked if the government should “regulate Internet porn . . . so that children cannot access x -rated material” only 53% of women and 30% of men said yes, showing that people are more bothered about the demeaning of women than hiding porn from minors. The same website stated that the average age someone watches porn is 11, a shocking but very believable figures with the easy availability of the service. In a survey where 8 to 16 year olds were asked whether they have viewed porn only, 90% said yes. It is clear that porn has taken over the internet and there are mixed views about its potentially negative impacts, but it is inevitable that it will always be readily available for free because of the pure size of the industry. Whether bans should be put in place to restrict the age of users is a highly contested question and one for you, the reader, to answer. But it is clear that porn is here to stay and, evidently like an erection during porn, it is just getting bigger and bigger.
By Aimone Sharif
Valentine’s Day is the one of the most controversial days of the year - you either love it or you hate it. Yet the abundance of technology around us makes it impossible to ignore when Valentine’s Day is near. We are surrounded by adverts, updated Facebook statuses and we even get emails from travel agencies for reduced couple holidays. But Valentine’s isn’t all love and romance. It’s also a day that sees the cyber world flooded with pornography. One example of this is SugarDVD, who revealed that “Valentine’s Day sees an increase of 43% of minutes watched.” Recent laws were established in the UK on the 2nd of December 2014, banning certain sex acts in pornography, including what the BBFC (British Board of Film Censors) called life threatening: strangulation, face sitting, and fisting. Amongst those acts, spanking, caning, aggressive whipping, penetration by any object “associated with violence”, physical or verbal abuse (regardless of consent), physical restraint and female ejaculation, were also banned. The Audiovisual Media Services Regulations 2014 requires that video-on-demand (VoD) online porn now adheres to the same guidelines laid out for DVD porn by the British Board of Film Censors (BBFC). This comes under the new law from the government to protect younger children from being exposed to such material. Filters have now been installed on internet providers giving a choice for parents to view adult content by “opting in”, creating a family-friendly internet service provider. While the measures won’t stop people from watching whatever genre of porn they desire, as videos
shot abroad can still be viewed, they do impose severe restrictions on content created in the UK, and appear to make no distinction between consensual and nonconsensual practices between adults. University of Hertfordshire student Mel Nadarajan, criticises the claims that these regulations are intended to protect children. “People are always going to watch porn,” she said, “It’s absurd in the 21st century when sexuality in politics is gaining increased recognition and acceptance, these laws are taking steps backwards.” Pornography by the numbers Here are some of the figures available online that will make you think twice before you banalise porn. Surveys show that one third of 14 to 16 year olds had looked at sexual images online when they were aged ten or younger, and 81% looked at online porn while they were at home. • 43% of internet users view pornographic material • Only 3% of adult websites require age verification • 35% of internet downloads are pornography • 2011 alone saw 1,337 prosecutions in the UK referring to possession of extreme pornography The increase in technology also enables people to view pornography on the go and for free, with easy access, compared to the early ‘60s where the only porn you could find was in underground magazines. Research shows that nine out of ten internet porn users access free pornography on their computer or tablet and one out of five mobile phone internet searches are
related to pornography. According to Daniel Jennings (danielrjennings.org), in America the life expectancy is around 78.1 years of age for an average American, but only 36.2 years for a porn star. This trend is explained by the high use of drugs and alcohol, and high rates of suicide and disease. Porn stars generally suffer from depression; 9095% of porn stars are on anti-depressants, or qualify for them, leading to a lot of cases of overdoses. Careers in that domain are also short lived from about 6 months to 18 months. Protecting the innocent and under-aged Child pornography has also increased due to easy access of porn. New technology that aids those who produce this material include inexpensive digital cameras and internet distribution, making it easier than ever before to produce and distribute child pornography. The producers of child pornography try to avoid prosecution by distributing their material across national borders, however this issue is increasingly being addressed with regular arrests of suspects from a number of countries occurring over the last few years. In 2010, out of the 1,781 UK convictions over distribution and possession of indecent images of children, 73% of the images were of children. Child pornography is something very delicate that people do not want to talk about. In America where the rate of child trafficking is the highest, interviewees denied such facts and were oblivious. Child pornography is used to satisfy the needs of paedophiles, and is used for a variety of purposes
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Tackling the issues behind porn and technology
ranging from private sexual gratification or trading with other collectors, to preparing children for sexual abuse as part of the child grooming process. In 2011, 14% of child pornography was of children under the age of ten, compared to 8% the next year. This number is nevertheless decreasing every year but it is stabilising; child porn isn’t going anywhere. “Anything to do with people underage makes me feel sick when I hear about it,” said one student. “I don’t see how people can find stuff like that enjoyable.” Charlotte Mullin, another UH student, addressed the wider issues behind porn. She said: “Porn is incredibly damaging in terms of how people perceive sex. It glorifies violence and creates so many harmful stereotypes about what sex should be like, how men and women should look and behave.” In spite of these criticisms, the development of technology has led the pornographic world to evolve in an exponential rate. In 1975 the pornography industry made $5-10 million; now it is reaching the immense sum of $4.3 billion just in the US, making it one of the biggest industries in the world. This Valentine’s day, be aware of what is around you, not thinking how cloying couples make you feel lovesick when they post a picture on Instagram, but how technology affects all our lives in a different way. Recognising the high increase of porn users on that specific day alone, it might be time to change some of these figures. What do you think about the issues raised? Have your say @TridentMediaUK!
11
WEIRD
By Jennie Couling
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SEX TOYS Technology - one of the most powerful game changers of the last century. Thanks to hard working engineers and scientists we now have the means to travel to the moon, see things that are unimaginably small and stay in touch with people thousands of miles away. So what do we do with all this invaluable research and knowledge? Use it to make crazy sex toys, of course! So here’s a list of technology’s weirdest inventions.
The Magic Hand (lovehoney.co.uk) Some sex toys are just utterly terrifying and this is one of them. But there’s something for everyone on the internet and apparently there’s a whole range modelled on different porn stars’ hands. If you can ignore the fact it looks like Thing, that is. Wake-up Vibe Alarm Vibrator (wakeupvibe.com) Cold winter mornings making waking up difficult? Does your phone alarm not get you up in the morning? Do you find yourself constantly hitting the snooze button? Struggle no more! This vibrator alarm will have you waking up on the right side of the bed, ready for lectures. Or a bit late…
Solar Powered Bullet (amazon.com) Described on the website as “the perfect accessory for the socially conscious 21st century woman”, this is “the world’s first totally renewable sun-powered stimulator”. Get to your happy place without having to worry about dying polar bears - great! Mermaid inflatable bondage tail (elasticaengineering.com) Ah yes, the best extracurricular bedroom equipment - the stuff that allows zero access to your fun parts. Live out your wildest fantasies of having no genetalia. Kinky. Putin Butt Plug (shapeways.com) Because any sex toy should be a political statement. Let him fulfil his need to invade or tell him to shove his homophobic policies where the sun doesn’t shine. Dog dildo This poses so many questions no one wants the answer to. Who decided turning to the animal kingdom for fulfilment was ok? Why a dog? Whose dog? Who modelled it? And it doesn’t stop at your beloved pet - there’s a whole website dedicated to all types of animal dildo: otter, seal, dolphin, horse, reptile and whale. Lovely.
Vajankle (sinthetics.biz) Now, we know that most sex toys are basically dismembered body parts, so what makes this one particularly creepy? Oh yeah, it’s the fact it’s a foot. And a vagina. Together. Because that’s totally normal and sexy. Mr Jack with Moustache (salespider.com) For all those times you’ve wondered what it would be like to have Tom Selleck give you a blow job, Mr Jack with Moustache has you covered. Comes complete with alluring mouth tentacles. I Rub my Duckie Vibrator (amazon.co.uk) Well that’s anyone’s fond memories of childhood bathtimes ruined. Who thought associating sex with childhood was ok? Please, just no. The Cone Vibrator (conevibe.com) Actual quote from website: ‘The innovative shape hits all the spots and the funky, contemporary style means it doesn’t need to be hidden away in the bedroom drawer’. So there you go kids. Have no shame and display your sex toys proudly as symbols of human progress for all housemates or family members to see. Celebrate them as a feat of hard work, dedication and research and, above all, a symbol of what humans really care about.
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13
LIFESTYLE
By Shelby Loasby
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WHAT’S YOUR INNER SEX ANIMAL? Take our cheeky quiz and find out which animal suits your kinky side, you may find you’re a mixture of these sexy beasts!
Where would you rather ‘get intimate?’
What’s your fantasy dress-up?
a) The Bed b) Shower c) Car d) The Woods e) The Forum
a) Birthday Suit b) Doctors and Nurses c) Police d) Bondage e) “Duh! I’m a mouse”
What food would you take to the bedroom?
What song gets you going?
a) Who brings food to the bedroom? b) Bananas c) Whipped Cream d) Sausage e) Carrot
a) Marvin Gaye - “Let’s Get It On” b) Shaggy - “It Wasn’t Me” c) Ylvis - “What Does The Fox Say?” d) R. Kelly - “Bump ‘n’ Grind” e) Skepta - “All Over the House”
How would you hit on someone?
Add up your answers!
a) Do you want to go and do what I’m going to tell my friends we did anyway? b) Is that a banana in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me? c) Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material d) Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van e) You’re just like my little toe, because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home
a’s ____
What’s your favourite position? a) The easiest one b) 69 c) Missionary d) Doggy e) Any position, as long as I get what I want
b’s ____ c’s ____ d’s ____ e’s ____
Now turn the page for your results!
15
Your inner sex animal
THE RESULTS Mostly a’s THE SLOTH. Come on. Get more adventurous. You tend to just lay there and let other people dominate you. When it comes to spicing things up in the bedroom you’re as mild as the Nandos’ Lemon and Herb sauce. Get off your backside and start doing some work!
Mostly b’s THE MONKEY. You’re the cheeky lover that always has the most fun. You’re flexible and acrobatic and willing to try new things in new places. Sometimes you can be a bit OTT, so don’t monkey around all the time.
Mostly c’s. THE FOX. You’re the intelligent, skillful and cunning one. You know how to play the game like a real life Mr. Grey. You charm your way into the bedroom and know how to please. You can, however, sometimes be a bit of a trickster and leave a lot of broken hearts in your wake.
Mostly d’s. THE LION. You are the king of the bedroom. You’re fierce and dominating and can be quite forceful on your prey. You have to be in control and you’re not afraid to admit it. However, being a predator can scare some people away, so tone down your game.
Mostly e’s. THE RABBIT. They call it the Rampant Rabbit for a reason….Calm down! Too many one night stands can look bad for your reputation. Whilst it may be fun pouncing on everyone, everywhere, you’ll soon run out of your duracell batteries and end up all tired and alone.
Images by Charlotte Mullin
DATING GUIDE By Chloe Burrowes
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Photos By Chloe Burrowes
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx With Valentine’s Day just around the corner and the last of our student finance loans dwindling, any dating has to be done on a very strict budget! You’ll be pleased to know that aside from fancy restaurants and grand gestures, there is fun to be had at a fraction of the price. Dating on a budget does not have to be daunting, and who knows - your love interest may even love it more if it’s a bit different from the norm. Home is where the heart is Why not bring a date indoors; you’ll lose the travel cost and get to be in a place you know and love. Turn the tradition of taking a date out for a meal by cooking something tasty and homemade in the comfort of your own home. Choose a recipe you’re comfortable with, light a few candles, put some background
music on, and it will feel extremely romantic for less than half of what you would have spent in a restaurant. Traditionally, a trip to the cinema would precede a meal on any standard date but for a way to cut the price even further. Why not use your Netflix account and watch a movie in your living room or borrow one of your friends DVDs, grab some popcorn from the supermarket, curl up under a blanket and you and your date are sorted for the evening. Enjoy the Great Outdoors! Dates don’t always have to be inside; there is a whole wealth of things to do outside to get you and your date out in the fresh air. A walk is a great idea for a date: you get to exercise, and you can also get to know your date with no distractions – and best of all,
it’s completely free! If you do fancy forking out a little bit of money, you could always pick up some hot chocolates for the road, and you have a relaxed and thoughtful date which will definitely be different to what they’re expecting. There are some lovely park walks in Hatfield House if you live in the area or Google walks in your area for other scenic routes.
Become a Bargain Hunter If makeshift dates really aren’t cutting it for you, then become a bargain hunter and do dates on the cheap. The Odeon does Bargain Tuesdays where there are slashed prices on all 2D cinema tickets and with a NUS card you can get discounts on many of your favourite restaurants.
Local Music Events Looking up local music events in your area will be a unique, and more importantly, fun date. There are plenty of up and coming new bands that do gig for free or very cheap to gain a following. The Forum Hertfordshire often has Jam Jar nights showing off the latest talent; and at least you can check if your date has any dodgy dance moves!
The moral of the story is don’t let money ruin your dating plans, whether it’s your latest Tinder match or your partner of three years… make sure you make the most of the month of love! Got a budget dating tip? Let us know @TridentMediaUK!
17
By Chloe Burrowes
Faking it fancy for
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx If calling up restaurants and trying to find somewhere to book in last minute on Valentine’s Day has happened to you; it may be time to try your hand at cooking your own tasty dishes. I have teamed up with Lloyd Henley, a Songwriting and Music Production student and prolific Instagram food poster to give you a three course meal that will look restaurant quality but without the hefty price tag. All it requires is some time and we will help you with the creativity and some presentation skills to make it look amazing on the plate – definitely giving you some bragging rights and a chance to impress your date this Valentine’s!
Spicy Red Pepper Soup with Chilli
Grilled Pork Chop with Apple and Sage Mash served with a Cider Cream Sauce and Broccoli
This simple but tasty recipe will have your taste buds tingling with a spicy kick. Using all fresh ingredients, this recipe will suit most diet requirements and kick off your meal with style.
A hearty main course which will you leave you satisfied and with the side of the broccoli; you even get one of your five a day! The well known classic of a seasoned pork chop is complemented by the creamy mash creating a tasty main course.
Ingredients: Olive Oil 1 Large Onion 3 Red Peppers 1 Large Potato Veg Stock (750ml) ½ tsp paprika ¼ tsp chilli powder Dollop of natural yoghurt Handful of chopped chives
Ingredients: Olive Oil 2 pork chops 1 Onion 2 Cloves of Garlic ½ a can of cider Head of broccoli Double Cream (100ml) Tbsp Apple Sauce Few sprigs of fresh sage, finely chopped 2 Potatoes Milk Small knob of butter
Method: • Peel and slice the onion and fry gently in the olive oil in a deep pan for 5-10 minutes. • Chop and de-seed peppers, peel and grate the potato and add both to the cooked onion. • Dissolve a stock cube in 750ml of boiling water, add the stock to the pan and sprinkle in the paprika and chilli. • Simmer for half an hour (Great chance to prep the main course!) • Blend into a smooth soup, return to the pan, reheat and season. • Take the pan off the heat, whisk and stir through the chopped chives.
Method: • Preheat the grill to ‘high’, and stick a pan of salted water on to boil. When boiled add the potatoes until soft. • Rub the chops in seasoned oil and place them under the grill • Peel and dice the onion and garlic and fry in oil. • Add cider to the frying onion and garlic until it reaches a sticky texture. • To make the mash: Drain the potatoes, put some milk and butter in a pan until melted and add to the potatoes, mash and finish by stirring apple sauce and sage through the hot mash • Add cream to the sauce and leave to simmer. • Serve with the broccoli, mash and a drizzle with the creamy cider sauce.
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Why not try our vegetarian option?
White Chocolate and Raspberry Mousse
Turning a classic on its head with our Garlic, Thyme and Mushroom Lasagne.
To finish the meal, we’re using a tried and tested favourite chocolate! Combining some white chocolate with some fresh and tangy raspberries is a light and fresh pot to finish the meal with a bang.
Ingredients: 1 small onion 2 cloves of garlic Olive Oil Thyme Mushrooms (750g) Worcestershire Sauce Crème Fraiche (500g) Lasagne Sheets Chives Parmesan Cheese Method: • Boil a large pan of salted water and preheat the oven to 200c • Peel and finely dice onion and garlic and fry with thyme. • Chop the mushrooms and fry until they’ve softened with the Worcestershire sauce and crème fraiche. • Mix in the chives and season. • Cook the lasagne sheets in water for 2 minutes each. • Layer the mushroom mixture, pasta sheets and parmesan, finishing with parmesan and some chopped chives. • Put in the oven for 20 minutes until golden and bubbly.
Photos by Chloe Burrowes
Ingredients: White Chocolate (250g) Milk (100ml) Double Cream (280ml) 3 large egg whites Method: • Break up the chocolate and put it in a heatproof bowl with milk. • Heat over a pan of gently simmering water until melted. • Add the raspberries. • Leave to cool for 10 minutes • Whip the cream to soft but floppy peaks. • Whisk the egg whites to soft peaks. • Fold the cream into chocolate mixture. • Divide into glasses/ramekins and chill for at least 4 hours.
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HAVE A HAPPY
By Eleanor Pilcher
y a D s ’ e n i t n e l a V i t n A With the theme of love and Valentine’s in the air I feel that there is a need for an anti-Valentine’s Day article to create balance - as balance, after all, is a necessary component for a working relationship. If you are a student and you are single, newly or for-as-long-you-canremember, don’t be disheartened when Valentine’s Day comes around - just because you do not have a ‘significant other’ does not mean you are unloved! There’s plenty of love to go around: there’s familial love, friendship and I shall even count pet love! If you have a dog or a cat or a guinea pig and they give you the slightest bit of affection today: Happy Valentine’s Day! However, a cat meowing happily when you feed it is not the same as getting a dozen red roses and a cheesy love-letter, I grant you. How do we solve this problem? You have two options:
Get in a relationship Easier said than done! Look at all the great love stories: Romeo & Juliet (because that ended so well!), When Harry Met Sally (It took over two decades!) and even Twilight (He left her, she nearly died…well she always nearly died…and eventually it took a vampirical pregnancy to get them properly hitched!)
It is not easy! So option number two –
Throw an Anti-Valentine’s Day Party You get to have all the fun without all the stress, cheesy falseness of a commercial holiday and free-reign over what you do! To throw an Anti-Valentine’s Day Party all you require are a few friends – it would backfire awfully if no one showed up but you – and a lot of cake, loud music – no romantic anthems allowed - maybe a few horror flicks if the gathering is only small. Make a do of it and create funny invitations to put a smile on your newly single friend or your long-time single housemate! Find a curse online and enact it on your ex…or perhaps get/create a piñata. The feeling you get after destroying a piñata with your ex’s face on it is wonderful – anger management and entertainment wrapped in one. Whatever you do this Valentine’s Day don’t sit in your room with a box of tissues watching Friend’s With Benefits wondering if that is the way to start a relationship…it’s not. Do something fun that interests you or makes you happy! Love yourself rather than thinking about loving someone else for a change!
Don’t weep to the sound of Bryan Adams ‘Everything I Do (I Do For You)’ go and have some fun rocking out at the Forum or making cupcakes or playing a video game with your closest mates! Make the 14th of February a day of relaxation and happiness and all about you celebrating and loving you!
Happy AntiValentine’s Day!
By Charlotte Green
S VE IP L O SH X, N SE TIO LA RE
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THINGS TO AVOID IF YOU’RE SINGLE ON VALENTINE’S DAY
As soon as the Christmas cards are gone, out come the Valentine's ones. If you're single on the 14th of February, pretty much everything serves as a pleasant reminder of your relationship status. Here's a list of things it's best to avoid if the only special someone in your life is a bottle of wine. 1) The radio Well, unless you want to hear Whitney Houston's 'I Will Always Love You' on repeat and soppy shout outs keep it switched off.
2) Fancy restaurants
Valentine's is the one night you cannot turn up to a restaurant and expect a table, or even go with one of your friends without it being assumed you're an item. If you do get a table expect couples gazing lovingly at each other and expensive Valentine's themed menus. Your best bet is to join the other singletons - and that guy who forgot the date - in KFC. Who needs a romantic date when you can have a bargain bucket to yourself?
If you don't get to that point, it may just be you standing in the middle of the dance floor surrounded by snogging couples. Bear this in mind if you're wearing green to the Flirt! traffic light party on the 13th February!
5) Card shops
You go in trying to find a birthday card for your Nan and instead become engulfed by a sea of red hearts and soppy messages. Only enter after Valentine's to stock up on reduced price chocolates.
6) Drunk texting/calling/general communication Do we really need to go into this? No matter how lonely you are put the phone down. You do not need to declare your love for your ex or that guy in your seminar class. It will only end badly. Especially if the response you receive is 'whose number is this?'.
7) Rom-coms
Avoid anything that has a nice, happy ending and involves Kate Hudson or Katherine Heigl. Horror films are a much better option - bad endings are guaranteed.
3) Facebook
8) Asking for comforting advice.
4) Going on the prowl
So there you have it - grab a KFC, a horror movie, and keep your phone turned off for a stress free, singles Valentine's Day. If you’re celebrating solo share the love with us @TridentMediaUK!
Just like Christmas, Facebook at Valentine’s sees an influx of relationship status changes. Although at first it may be great to gossip about who's getting engaged, it soon turns into a stark reminder that the only long term relationship you've had is with your bed. Replacing love with sex and taking home the first person you find in The Forum may have seemed like a good idea at the time, but once daylight shows what you really ended up with you may think differently.
So you're feeling lonely and you need to vent a little bit about your failed love life and single status? Instead, you receive plenty of reminders of where it all went wrong. 'Remember that guy you dated in sixth form? What on earth were you thinking?' Yeah, thanks Mum!
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By Linu George
HOW TO PICK THE RIGHT PICK UP LINE Pick up lines. They can be the best things or just the worst. It’s all about picking the right one and doing it with confidence. Here are a few categories to help you pick the right one for ‘the one’.
Food Food and pick-up lines can be great. They can have a bit of humour, flirt and dirt like “Do you work in Subway because you just gave me a footlong” or “Do you want to tickle my pickle?”
Classic Lets be honest - Joey from Friends knew how to do it right. You know what I’m referring to, yeah, that's right, I’m invoking the classic, “How you doin’?”. Laugh all you want but at least you know it will let everyone know that you are single and ready to mingle.
Religion On a more serious note if you share the same religious belief as someone, this will be a great way to point out this common interest between the two of you while reminding them why they should go out with you. For example, “I put the stud in bible study” is cheesy enough to be cute but also shows that you take your beliefs seriously.
Location If you ever meet someone on a holiday or you are going on a trip with someone who you would define as a fine specimen of humanity then use the location pick up line! My personal favourite location pick up lines are: “Are you from Brighton? Cause you brighten up my day!” And “Are you from India? Cause I’d Goa with you anywhere!”
Dirty This one is dangerous and I recommend you avoid using it on people you’ve just met. It just doesn’t give the right impression and is kind of inviting the other person to slap you. I mean what would your reaction be if someone said, “I want to visit your Netherlands."Or this: “Are you legs made of Nutella? Because I would like to spread them.” Just. No.
Creepy This one is something that should be avoided at all costs! This is even more dangerous than the dirty pick up lines. Believe us when we say you will not get a date if you say, “I want to floss with your pubic hair” or “I want to put my thingy in your thingy.” Song lyrics This one is very common and depending on the song you choose, you can go from sweet, ‘I would catch a grenade for you’ to dirty, -“our conversations ain’t long, but you know what is” to downright creepy - “I’ll mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky milky cocoa”. TV shows or movies This type of pick up line must only be used if you are SURE that the other person watches the same TV show or movie. If not, it will fail and not in an adorable way. Not everyone would get “Is your name Winter because you will be coming soon” or “A cyberman couldn’t delete you from my heart”, but for those who do understand it’s a sure way to our heart.
Science These pick up lines are refreshing because it shows how smart you are and if the object of your affection gets it, you will know that they love their science too. It can be as simple as “you are so hot, you denature my protein” to as flirty as “If I could be an enzyme, I would be a DNA helicase so I can unzip your genes”. Flattering These ones have been here forever and they can be as sickly, as dipping your head in a chocolate fountain Dawn French style (who I am kidding? We all not so secretly want to do that but you get my point). Regardless, any cheesy, rom-com loving human will love these kind of pick up lines. It is a great way to break the ice and show how adorable you are. I mean who could resist: “Excuse me, do you have a map because I am getting lost in your eyes”. Or “Can I have directions...to your heart?” What’s your best pick up line? Share it with us @TridentMediaUK!
Photo by Kealie Mardell
By Shelby Loasby
S VE IP L O SH X, N SE TIO LA RE
DOES YOUR SEX LIFE JEOPARDISE YOUR DEGREE? The stereotypical view of promiscuous students having multiple partners at university is starting to ring true. Recent studies and surveys have shown that those students who have more than one partner in their final year of uni are putting their degree at risk and could be threatening their academic results. According to a survey commissioned by ProPlus of 2,000 former students who left university in the last ten years, 36% of those who failed their degree said that they had been in numerous relationships in their final year of study. Furthermore, for those that received a third, 32% admitted to being in several relationships during their final year. This is more the case for single people or those who have ‘friends with benefits’
arrangements, as the results show that long term relationships tend to be much less turbulent and have less negative effects on your degree. BlueMoon’s own survey revealed that our students are a fairly busy bunch between the sheets, with more than half of our participants admitting to having sex on campus. The majority declared themselves as single, with plenty of sexy stories to share. Whilst there may be other factors contributing to the lack of achievement, the countless one night stands and emotional turmoil created by multiple relationships are having a detrimental effect and are creating additional stress for many students. In an attempt to reduce these figures, ProPlus have given
advice to students in their final year of university. Their top tips include; • Prioritising your course when it matters • Finding a good balance between work and play • Ensuring that you are doing work when you feel at your ‘sharpest’ They also emphasize that whether “you are single or in a relationship, don’t get distracted by a constantly turbulent love life.” Don’t forget that the reason you’re here is for your degree, and if you are sexually active, always stay safe. As the saying goes - Don’t be silly, wrap your willy! Your sexual health is important so look after it and keep an eye out for the various sexual health campaigns run on campus throughout the year.
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By Aiden Perrins
INVESTIGATING: the “Lad Culture” trend ‘Lad culture’ is a term now commonly used to describe young men indulging in nights of heavy drinking and casual encounters with women. This trend started in the early nineties in a backlash against feminism and coincided with the birth of brit pop. This was phased out like all trends, but then it suddenly made a comeback in the late noughties and today it is stronger than ever with websites such as theladbible.com and uniladmag. com essentially advertising the culture and portraying it as the way of life for all young men. They look at women like objects and show very little respect for them in many ways. The Lad Bible includes ‘commandments’ by which it suggests men should follow, such as ‘Thou shall spread the seed in as many females as possible’, ‘Thou shall drink beer and fornicate’ and ‘Thou shall always drink more than you can handle’. Ashley Hogg, a 2nd year student, said: “You have all these lad bibles and that, and guys feel like they should follow it. They feel that to be a ‘lad’ they have to do this sort of thing to be accepted by others.” The National Union of Students (NUS) have been forced into holding a summit about ‘lad culture' in universities because they feel that it is becoming a problem. NUS published a research paper about female student’s experiences of ‘lad culture’ which found: “Many reported misogynist jokes and ‘banter’ circulating in their friendship groups which made them feel uncomfortable.” This can be seen in universities up and down the country, or in fact any establishment where groups of young men are commonplace. A lot of ‘lad culture’ is based around how they view women and openly making comments about their looks and appearance, often intended to just be joking around with their mates. Hogg added: “If there’s a group of lads and you go past them, they know you can hear when they say something. It can be simple such as ‘she’s fit’, or it could be horrible stuff like ‘she’s ugly’.” Jade Tomlins, a 3rd year student, said: “I think ‘lad culture’ thinks it's just a joke
not to be taken seriously so that means it's okay, but a lot of the time it's just not funny”. This was echoed by 2nd year student Hayley Poppleton who said: “If I can see they are in a large group making jokes it makes me feel uncomfortable.” However, Deepak Bhinder a 1st year student, noted: “Things that are offensive and demeaning to women that are said in ‘lad culture’ do tend to be jokes, genuine sexism in ‘lad culture’ are for the ****s, talking about who has the best rack is fair enough.” Tim Guest, another first year student, although acknowledging ‘lad culture’ as being sometimes offensive, also pointed out other parts of the culture: “Sitting drinking beer and playing Fifa is just common interests with the same sex.” Defending the point that out of everything that ‘lad culture’ entails, it is only a small part aimed at being derogatory towards women. A male member of thestudentroom.co.uk going by the name of Huskeris claimed: “99% of it is ‘lad on lad’ banter, or self inflicted; it's the 1% where a girl is part of it where feminists, and therefore the media, lose their s***.” Another male who calls himself Mankytoes said: “I guess you would say me and my friends at uni were part of ‘lad culture’”, just drinking and joking around and trying to pull girls. I never saw it as trying to be part of a culture, just doing what we found fun.” The art of seduction Lad culture and this idea of going out on the pull has meant there has been a massive surge of men joining a community who refer to themselves as pickup artists (PUAs). PUAs are men who are trained in ‘the art of seduction’. They practice in approaching women and seducing them, first using openers and icebreakers. They then go on to routines or methods such as demonstrating high value (DHV), which most people know about anyway as it is essentially about being the alpha male of a group. The only difference is PUAs do it in a very conscious way, and some will even hang around good looking women to make themselves look like men who are seen as attractive by women. The
theory being that if it looks like one girl finds a guy attractive, others will follow. Some will just work on their own confidence and way they present themselves. Any woman can tell you that a man with confidence, and who knows how to dress and present themselves in a positive way will almost always be attractive. Recently, a PUA named Julien Blanc was deported from Australia and then banned from entering the United Kingdom because he was travelling the world teaching men his techniques to seduce women. Unfortunately these techniques were wrongful and included intimidation and emotional abuse. He charges extortionate amounts of money, often over £600 for a day, to teach these methods in seminars. On top of this he started a hashtag on Twitter entitled #chokinggirlsallovertheworld in which he took photos of himself with various girls in chokeholds. TIME magazine even labelled him as the most hated man in the world. Jade Tomlins, speaking about the subject of PUAs, said: “They prey on the insecurities of vulnerable young men who end up sometimes paying anything for classes with them, for books etc. only to become as seedy as them.”
I asked members of pickup-artist-forum.com how they view themselves, a user by the name of fudge_88 said: “A man who has obtained the power of choice when it comes to women through knowledge.” Pick-up artists have defending their ways saying they are not about tricks, and as said by PEBBLE: “Pick up artists are not all Julien Blanc.” One PUA who goes by the name breedlove465 says: “Calling PUA a trick is like saying that putting on cologne is a way of ‘tricking’ women because you are trying to attract them. No, you are simply presenting yourself as someone that will be attractive to women.” This method is essentially an advancement on wearing cologne or women wearing make-up, it is all in the name of being an attractive person. In my opinion, guys will always want to sleep with girls. They don’t always want to settle down with someone, but to say that it’s only men who are like this is way off. Girls can be just as responsible for this culture by engaging in casual relationships. If lads want to have these casual relationships and what they’re doing is working then they aren’t going to stop.
Photo by Rebecca Harding What do you think? Have your say @TridentMediaUK!
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EN TER TAIN MENT
Alice’s Adventure
Wonderland, a truly incredible place where down is up and up is down but everything still, in its own special way, makes perfect sense. A realm created by the mind of a mad man, a land quite literally made of wonders where nothing is quite as it seems. Relying highly on the innocence of childhood imagination, Lewis Caroll’s timeless tale tells of a young girl’s journey through a rabbit hole, and all of the fun and fantastical characters she meets along the way. Alice is in her own right the first and quite possibly the original ‘independent woman.’ Using only her wits and her understanding of common sense she battles many fearsome foes and overcomes situations others would simply ignore, labelling them simply as too preposterous for words. Whether it is a Queen of Hearts, a Mad Hatter, a grinning Cheshire Cat or even ridiculously rhyming twins, Alice refuses to let anything phase her. It’s hard to believe that it has been 150 years since Charles Lutwidge Dodgson’s nom de plume Lewis Caroll, first published the book known then as, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. On accomplishing the feat of still being in circulation for over 100 years, this simple children’s story can now be ranked amongst some of the other great classics such as Mary Poppins and The Railway Children. To commemorate such an auspicious occasion as the ‘sesquicentennial’ of this much loved tale, the Post Office has commissioned a beautifully crafted set of stamps, each of which capture the perfect likeness of the many unforgettable characters and scenes of Caroll’s famous story. It is important to note that many modern interpretations have since been produced, some with more cunical or negative undertones. One such example being the colloquial use of the phrase ‘down the Rabbit hole’ to refer to a drug induced psychedelic bliss. I feel that the time has come, ‘as the walrus said’, to change tact and bring this fascinating story of adventure and imagination back to reality. Well almost reality...The focus for the rest of this article is going to be less about the genius of Caroll’s work and more about one of the many souvenirs he left behind.
By Caz Alaman
The very rare, and often widely disputed, neurological disease known as Alice in Wonderland Syndrome (AIWS). Also known as Todd Syndrome, it was first diagnosed in 1955 by the English psychiatrist John Todd (1914-1987). AIWS is, in short, a neurological disorder, that directly affects a person’s perception resulting in confusion when coupled with sensory distortion, as well as a loss of sense of space and time, leading to extremely vivid hallucinations. A key symptom of AIWS is often an ‘altered state of being’, where the sufferer believes that part, or all of their body, is disproportionate. However, much like the well-known scene in Alice in Wonderland, this distortion is not exclusively linked to the size of the patient’s body, as the alteration of spacial awareness can also affect size perception of various inanimate objects and the world in general. Although there is not much information available in relation to the causes of AIWS, it is believed that it is primarily due to a shift in blood flow inside the hemispheres of the brain, which leads to the necessary signals being interrupted as they travel to and from the optic nerve. Despite the ambiguity surrounding the causes of AIWS, it has often been linked to a number of different conditions including; brain tumors, frontal lobe epilepsy and psychoactive drugs. However, the most common ailment is migraines. This discovery, as well as the lack of proven, effective AIWS treatment, has subsequently resulted in migraine medications such as antidepressants and beta-blockers being prescribed as a simple semi-effectual remedy. Moreover, it is believed that Lewis Caroll may not have just suffered from migraines, but that he himself may well have experienced some form of Alice in Wonderland Syndrome. As previously stated however, this diagnosis has received much opposition with many citing the fact that many of the case studies involve children - a clear sign that this condition is nothing more than a figment of childish imagination. Other opponents even go as far as to use Caroll’s own work as proof of AIWS illegitimacy; stating
that Caroll, a known logician, uses Alice to make a mockery out of games, riddles and even logic puzzles that appear to have simple solutions. They go on to say that we cannot then, in good conscious, either name such a condition after Wonderland, or try to make sense of the nonsensical experiences, which are attributed to AIWS. Instead they believe that we should simply embrace them in the same way we embrace all of life’s other frustrated expectations and inexplicable occurrences. Another argument against the existence of Alice in Wonderland Syndrome takes a more scientific route. Stating that the lack of time awareness associated to AIWS is just an extension of the truth because in reality, with or without this so-called condition, we cannot truly see time passing. As what we normally would consider as Past, Present and Future, is simply a construct of our Basal Ganglia. SO in truth, reality is a figment of our own imagination. This thinking aside, I believe we can all agree that there is a lot we have and can still learn from Lewis Caroll’s little book - whether it be about our brains, our beliefs, our imagination or even the world around us. Knowledge that would not be available, if a little girl had not got bored on a family boating trip and asked a friend to tell her a story. To bring this article to a close I think it is important for me to make one thing clear. You may, as is your right to, believe what you wish about anything you want, but if you ever find yourself going mad, fear not because just as Alice said ‘All the best people are.’ One last thing - how is a RAVEN like a WRITING DESK?
HAPPY UN-BIRTHDAY TO YOU ALL!
150 years on...
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By Brad Johnson
BBC Media Centre
If you have the personality of a breezeblock, please don’t go on The Voice! Well, now in its fourth (yeah, thats hard to believe) series, The Voice UK has wowed us with new talent that has took the charts by storm and revolutionised the global music scene . . . oh wait... nope. Winning The Voice may look amazing but it seems in the charts it carries as much weight as winning an episode of Stars in their Eyes. The Voice is the BBC’s flagship talent contest which puts emphasis on the singer’s voices. The best bit about the whole show is the red spinning chairs. Fronted by Emma Willis, who on the whole is a ruddy good TV presenter, and her co-host Marvin Humes of JLS fame, who has the same amount of energy as a rock or pebble. The most impressive assets and drawing point for many are that two of the ‘coaches’ are ‘Will.i.am’ and Tom Jones. How they secured them for three
series baffles me but I’m sure a nice pay cheque helps. So back to the talent on The Voice. It can’t be denied that the majority of singers are of a high calibre with a mixture of non singers, semi professionals and professional hasbeens of yesteryear. The blind audition stage is exciting as you wait for the spinning red chair but after that, it all goes very ‘meh’. The dreaded battles, where the ‘coaches’ slay six of their acts onto the pile of talent show rejects, are the key part of stage two of the competition. Many of the best acts disappear at this stage because, as you would have guessed from a vocal competition, some of them have as much personality as a magnolia wall. Following the monotony of the ‘battles’ which take place in a camp wrestling ring lit by a wall of bright white beams - how theatrical - we hit
the LIVE finals where we find our winner. When I say winner, I mean they might have a top 10 single if they are lucky and will probably go back to their factory job where they filmed that humourous “I’ve never sung in public” VT at the start of the auditions process, but now, somehow, have loads of confidence in front of TV cameras, an audience and can sing effortlessly with a live band. Just remember “I’ve never sung in public, ” yeah whatever! So let’s remind ourselves of the ‘winners’. Leanne Mitchell (yeh, me neither), Andrea Begley (wooooo, lets count the top 10 hits) and Jermain Jackman, another chart topper (oh wait, no again). The only success that has come from The Voice UK is Becky Hill from series one. She didn’t even win and seems to be doing better than all of the winners put together. Really, its
not about the voice in the music industry. You may have the voice of an angel, but if watching a brick is more interesting, I ain’t gonna be watching you on tour. I’m still surprised that the BBC manages to pull over eight million viewers for this programme but I suppose, the X Factor has finished, the Strictly winner is crowned and we are all poor after Christmas and New Year so it’s a cheap night in. The Voice winners have released singles which have ranked at 30, 45, 98 and 103 in the UK charts and one album that hit seven in the charts. Even Becky Hill needed the help of Wilkinson and Rudimental to score hits, her own single ‘Losing’ reached just 56 in the UK Singles Charts. Bring on the Series 4 Winner, the next global superstar. (or not).
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With a new year comes new movies, and 2015 does not disappoint. This year is packed with anticipated films, from rom-coms to action thrillers to reboots of classics. Here are the films you definitely don’t want to miss in 2015:
Five most anticipated films of 2015 Fifty Shades of Grey Release date: February 14th 2015 Four years ago Fifty Shades of Grey was released, an erotic drama novel that became a worldwide smash hit. The book has now been adapted into a movie which tells the story of Anastasia, a naive student who meets the wealthy and mysterious Christian Grey and follows their relationship. Fifty Shades of Grey is released on Valentines Day so if you are feeling a little kinky, this might be the movie for you!
The Avengers: Age of Ultron Release Date: April 24th 2015 The next film in the Marvel Universe is the highly anticipated Age of Ultron, which finds The Avengers in the aftermath of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s destruction. Tony Stark’s creation of Ultron, an artificial intelligence, backfires when Ultron decides humans are the enemy and yet again The Avengers have to pull together to save the world. Marvel’s film offerings keep getting better and better, so if you like smart superhero movies this one is definitely for you.
Pitch Perfect 2 Release Date: May 15th 2015 If you haven't watched the first Pitch Perfect movie, go and watch it now. It’s a hilarious, heartwarming movie with singing - It is amazing! This year the Bellas are back, and this time they are entering an international acapella competition that has never been won by an American team. This movie is sure to make you laugh, and think you can sing, and as it is out in May it is the perfect film for some post-exam de-stressing!
By Laura Noakes The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 2
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Release Date: November 20th 2015
Release Date: December 18th 2015
The final installment in The Hunger Games series, Mockinjay, Part 2 concludes Katniss’ epic journey against the regime of the Capitol. As revolution breaks out, can Katniss survive in the face of an epic challenge and protect the future of Panem? The whole Hunger Games film series has been a mustwatch; it’s well acted, with an engaging plot and political undertones that resonate worldwide. The conclusion of this series is bittersweet, but The Hunger Games is sure to go out on a high note.
This reboot of the classic sci-fi is wrapped in mystery. All we know for sure is that it’s set thirty years after the events of Return of the Jedi. Whilst Han Solo, Princess Leia and Luke Skywalker are back, we also have some new faces. The Force Awakens hits cinemas in December, so it’s still a long wait, but if it lives up to all the hype, it will be worth it.
So those are my most anticipated films of 2015. There are so many films that look amazing coming out this year, so it was hard to narrow it down to five. What films are you excited to see in 2015? Let us know via our Twitter @TridentMedia or on Facebook.com/TridentMediaUK.
SPOTLIGHT
By Shelby Loasby
g e ns r G ur B Sheer madness, utter chaos and contagious energy. These are the only words that can describe the fourpiece hardcore punk band, Hooligan Collective. Back in December, BlueMoon was lucky enough to attend Hatfield Rocks! to see Hooligan Collective supporting Zoax and headliners Baby Godzilla. We were able to sit down with the ‘Hooligans’ and get the full scoop on the band; their origins, their inspirations and their plans for the future.
Meet the band
The band is formed of four third-year students from the University of Hertfordshire, all from different backgrounds and studying different things. Lead vocalist, Sam Taylor from Norwich, is studying to become a paramedic; Lead guitarist, Dael Brookes from CambridgeSHIRE (emphasis on the shire), is studying Primary Education; Drummer, Greg Pain from Cornwall, is studying Events Management with French; and Bassist, Greg Burns (or Greg 0.2) from Surrey is the only one actually studying music.
The Origins
The band came together through the Alternative Music Society in 2012. Brookes and Taylor were interested in starting a band and were on the hunt for a drummer when they found Greg Pain. After a lot of arguments with several members of the society over who would have the rights to the only drummer, Pain finally joined Taylor and Brookes. Finding a bassist, however, was a whole other issue. The band explained that the first guy they tried, just didn’t work out and only attended a few sessions. The next guy, ‘Jimmy’, went to one practice, and even then he “showed up hungover as f***” and was definitely not what the band was looking for. Pain went on to say that two months later he was sitting in Telford Court and heard a couple of people jamming on a bass guitar. He later tracked the guys down and found Greg 0.2. The band was finally complete. The next obvious question - how did they get their name? They explained that they were throwing one-word things around for a while like Screens and
“other random stuff”, when Taylor eventually blurted out ‘Hooligan Collective.’ They agreed that it worked well as a conflicting and oxymoronic phrase; a bunch of ‘hooligan idiots acting together in an organised group.’ Definitely works well for a hardcore band. And why were they a hardcore punk band? Brookes and Taylor knew they wanted to play heavy music, whereas Pain was more interested in something quite punky, and Greg 0.2 simply wanted to play in a band. So when the two genres of heavy hardcore and punk met, it was the perfect mix for everyone.
“When the two genres of heavy hardcore and punk met, it was the perfect mix for everyone.” At this point Pain also added that none of the band are actually playing the instruments they are best at. “Every band I’ve been in, I’ve been the worse drummer. Greg 0.2 is like grade eight drums!” he said, “and Dael did grade seven singing so is probably the best vocalist!” Well boys, if it works that way then don’t complain! It’s clear they are all talented
l- es e Darook B musicians. They don’t, however, own enough gear and instruments of their own and often have to beg, borrow and steal in order to perform their gigs.
The ins and outs
We went on to ask about how the band works, how they write their songs and how they perform. Brookes explained that he writes the riffs first: “They come to me in dreams, visions, if you will.” Then Greg 0.2 will write a bassline to accompany it, and Pain will then write the drums on top of that (and then change it. And then change it again - the perfectionist of a drummer). Once the music has been written, Taylor consults his bank of lyrics that have been compiled over the years and chooses a song that suits. In terms of influences, Hooligan Collective are heavily associated with Gallows. They have the same ideas of the “atmospheric and hardcore stuff” and have even admitted to almost copying one of their songs (we’ll keep that between us). Pain also added that they like to listen to a lot of music that has nothing to do with
Photos by Daniel Bush
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g e n r G ai P their genre, especially on the way to gigs. Songs in their playlist include; The Front Box and a Canadian Jewish rapper called Abdominal. He also made it very clear that Avril Lavinge would never appear amongst any of their music because she “is a stain on the face of humanity” - to put it lightly.
The musical career
The performance at The Attic in The Forum was one of many gigs that Hooligan Collective have played. Most have been small scale appearances but they have featured at places across Hertfordshire, Essex, London and even in a friend’s living room - which the band described as pure chaos, with around fifty people crammed into a small room, all going mental. The band also have a split EP with the hosts of the living room festival, ‘Supernothing’, who are also Uni of Herters. They were asked by a sound engineering student if he could record both of the bands, so they did three tracks each. “We were really up for it,” said Pain, “They sounded
a lot better in recording than us to be fair. I think we had too much going on at once.” Brookes however chirped in; “Nah. I just think their songs are better.” Brookes also explained that before they knew how to record songs properly for reference, they used his old phone’s video camera pointed at a bottle of Fanta- they called these recordings the Fanta Fruit Twist sessions. Their songs range from rants about benefit frauds and the American influence over music, to bombing Hatfield and ‘the magic three - Pizza, Beer and Weed.’ As you can see, some songs are serious and others are more tongue-in-cheek. They have also covered a few songs in their time like; Thriller, Kaiser Chiefs, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme tune (although they couldn’t finish it without laughing) and their personal favourite, Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas”. There is also a music video in the midst for the band’s song “This One Time”, which sees the band rocking budget superhero costumes and Taylor dressed as a cardboard robot. The director of the video, Larry Walters,
has worked with a lot of bands similar to Hooligan Collective like The Hell and Lower than Atlantis. Pain explained that Walters was bored on Twitter one day and said he wanted to do a video for someone. They were the first people to reply and managed to score a music video for free, which was recorded in the same room that The Hell had performed. Brookes said:
“It was quite cool for us. It was a place of UK hardcore history.”
Hooligan Collective also recently went to social media war with another band from the Oxford area; Thatchers Love Child. Brookes was angered by the fact that the band’s name didn’t have an apostrophe in ‘Thatchers’ and explained that without proper punctuation, the name didn’t make any sense. Brookes commented on the band’s Facebook page one day saying: “If you had an apostrophe in your name, someone might book you.” The war then started. Thatchers Love Child started messaging Brookes over Facebook, getting their family members to ‘friend’ him and hurled abuse at Hooligan
Collective; calling them ‘plastics, keyboard warriors and cyber soldiers.’ The war has since calmed down, but it is important to know that Hardcore bands don’t let these things go easily!
What next? Hooligan Collective are of course a university band, which means that it will be very difficult for them to continue once they graduate. However, the band have expressed that they would love to carry on gigging together but can’t see themselves ‘making it big’ any time soon. In the meantime, however, they will continue to perform and write music and promote themselves to a growing audience. They hope to be hosting a house party festival, like Supernothing’s living room festival, at some point in the summer. You won’t want to miss it, so watch this space!
Don’t forget to like the boys’ Facebook page and follow them on Twitter @HooliganHCpunk!
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