Transy Rambler Jan. 29, 2015

Sports

The baseball team’s first practice of the year took place at midnight. pg. 6

Rambler

January 29, 2015 • VOL. 97 , ISSUE 15

Transylvania University • Lexington, Ky. • transyrambler.com • (859) 233-8315

Crossing borders:

Native Kenyan Barnsley finds solace in her school, family, identity This is the first of a series highlighting the many different backgrounds from which Transy students, staff and faculty come, and how they all have come to Transy to find a piece of themselves.

Haupt Humanities 217, better known as Carole Barnsley’s office, is covered from top to bottom with books on religion. On her walls are words, both serious and joking, from and about various religious traditions. On her filing cabinet is a magnetic paper doll Jesus with an assortment of outfits ranging from casual to formal.

Haunt Humanities 217 does not scream “math major.”

But that was exactly what Barnsley, now assistant professor of religion at Transy, was when she embarked on her undergraduate career at Middlebury College in 1995.

“Then somebody told me, ‘You might enjoy taking a class or two in religion,’” said Barnsley.

The religion classes were easy for Barnsley to adjust to. Some other aspects of this new chapter in her life, though, were not.

“I grew up in Kenya, which often sets off the ‘exotic’ lights,” she said. “Mombasa is my hometown… I often liken it to Key West, in terms of the weather and the kind of lifestyle. It’s very hot, it’s very laid back….

“I came from an environment where we never,

identity over here. And for a very long time, I found those two identities to be fairly exclusive and difficult to maintain.”

Barnsley said that having her family, including her children Annika (seven) and Ian (two), as well as having

rasmith15@transy.edu

Based on surveying conducted by Stamats Communications, branding at Transylvania is due for a recharge.

Stamats came to Transy’s campus in November to conduct focus groups with students, faculty and staff. This day-anda-half process helped them form questions for external and internal surveys, which were conducted at the end of the same month.

The results make up a massive document which Vice President for Marketing and Communications Michele Sparks said is, altogether, encouraging.

“Where I think some of the interesting components of it lie is in what we think internally of the institution and what externally is thought of us,” Sparks said. “In both cases, one of the really positive things that came out of this is that Transylvania is regarded really highly.”

In fact, according to Sparks, Stamats has never seen such high markings from internal constituencies, particularly faculty and staff.

“I think that that’s really important as we think, not only

about the recent past that Transylvania has had where there’s been some turbulence, but then as we move forward,” Sparks said. “It’s a very positive future.

People love it here.”

The two categories in which the university ranked highest, said Sparks, were academic quality and quality of faculty.

“Where some of the disconnect happens is in how we describe ourselves internally

separate from others. And (my identity) really is a function of who I am and what I’m doing in the moment. So now, more and more, my job and looking after my kids is what keeps me going, and that’s

what I identify with the most.”

As for what makes her different from many of the people she encounters on a daily basis, Barnsley said that she feels she is a “privileged minority,” particularly as someone who comes from an environment where these parts of her were not extraordinary.

“Any stereotypes that I have encountered have always been positive stereotypes,” she said.

She later added, “It’s only really recently that I think about, from a pedagogical standpoint, that I’ve never really educated people

Dr. Barnsley is in her sixth year at Transylvania.

a job she is passionate about have made it easier to call the U.S. home.

This sense of fulfillment does not mean that Barnsley does not feel her

Marketing surveys test waters

Rachel Smith

sense of self fluctuate from time to time. She said that, at various points in her life, her religious identity, her Kenyan heritage and her sexual identity as gay have been her most defining features.

portunities.”

Instead of focusing on the feature of “small,” Sparks said a better marketing strategy is to focus on the benefit, which could be personal attention and intimate class sizes.

“That’s a shift in how we are going to need to start talking about this institution,” she said.

“It rolls off of our tongues so quickly, ‘We’re a small, private, liberal arts institution located in Lexington, Kentucky.’ So we’re going to need to come up with some new words and new deIt’s a very positive scriptors that better relate to future. People love it the prospective student pool.”

The single most imhere. portant factor to prospective -Michele Sparks parents, said Sparks, was outcomes after graduation.

“That’s a tricky thing and what the external audience for…schools that are really wants to know about,” she said. vested in that liberal arts tradiShe used the marketing tion,” she said. “We don’t want concepts of features, benefits to be thought of as a vocational and outcomes to illustrate these or pre-vocational type of institudiscrepancies. The example she tion. But the fact of the matter is, gave specifically was the de- we are training students to either scriptor “small.” go to great grad schools or begin “‘Small’ tested pretty much their careers, so we need to tout negative in a prospective stu- that a little bit more.” dent base,” she said. “In many She also mentioned the people’s mind, ‘small’ equates importance of highlighting indito lack of resources, lack of opSee Marketing, Page 5

“Now, more and more, I think of myself as a mom,” she said. “I like to think of myself as a teacher. I move away from those things that identify me that make me

on making those positive stereotypes. I will correct them, but I’ve never felt like that person is being mean and I feel like I need to fix the situation. And it’s only more recently from a pedagogical standpoint that I recognize more and more how problematic those are.”

To Barnsley, Transy has been something of a microcosm for this situation.

“I think one of the problems that we as humans do is assume that it’s the same for everybody,” she said.

“Some might say, ‘Transy is a great place to be gay; it’s very culturally accepting.’ or we’ll say exactly the opposite—when I think that, in reality, it might be both at the same time.”

She said this idea is easily illustrated in the various groups which are intended to serve Transylvania’s diversity needs, even within just one of these groups.

“Those people are not the same. And to assume that they all have the same experiences and that they need and want the same things from their club or from their campus or from their peers, is to really misunderstand diversity altogether,” she said.

In Barnsley’s personal experience, though, Transy has been a more than welcoming environment. In fact, in her time here, she said, “Perhaps the worst stereotype I’ve heard is, ‘Oh, you’re Kenyan. I won’t drive in your car with you.’ To be honest, that’s not a stereotype. That’s a reality.”

Kentucky bourbon oils wheels of compromise

Staff Report

The Henry Clay Center for Statesmanship, along with the Kentucky Distillers’ Association, is sending a barrel of Kentucky bourbon to Washington D.C. to “remind leaders in the capital of the value of negotiation and compromise,” according to a recent press release.

The kick-off event will take place at Clay’s Lexington estate, Ashland, on Feb. 2 at 10 a.m.

There, the barrel will be filled, and Robert Clay and Bill Giles, co-chairmen of the board of directors of The Henry Clay Center for Statesmanship, and Jim Gray, mayor of Lexington, will speak.

The barrel will embark on its journey via carriage and bus to the famed Willard Hotel, the site where Henry Clay made the first ever mint julep in Washington D.C.

COURTESY OF HENRY CLAY CENTER FOR SPORTMANSHIP

rasmith15@transy.edu

ever had the windows closed; I never, ever had to wear a sweater; I never had to wear layers,” Barnsley continued.

“I mean, I get the concept of layers, but I just felt so suffocated with the windows being closed—and yet, at the same time, so cold.”

Between the weather and the food, young Barnsley felt a little out of place.

She also struggled with the idea that American students did not view language and culture the same way she did.

Barnsley’s father, whose first language is English, speaks fluent Kiswahili. Her mother also speaks several languages fluently. Barnsley speaks English and French, in addition to having rudimentary knowledge of a few other languages, and being able to “technically have a conversation with Arabic.”

“I grew up in a household where I heard all these languages all the time,” she said, adding, “It was very strange for me to come to a place where everybody shared the same first language and often didn’t have another.”

For these reasons and others, living so far from home has been somewhat of a challenge for Barnsley on occasion.

“For some of my life that I’ve lived here in the States, I’ve been torn,” she said.

“There’s a part of me that wants to live back home and do work back home, and then there’s always been a part of me that has really thrived over here, found my passions over here and carved out an

SARAH ALLISON

Rachel Smith

It will be received there by a coalition of Kentucky delegates, led by Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell.

“Re-enactment of Henry Clay’s delivery of a barrel of Kentucky Bourbon to Washington, and its reception by the Majority Leader, are meant to remind America’s youth and today’s leaders of the value of dialogue, negotiation and compromise to the effective functioning of

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government at every level,” said Clay, a distant cousin of the statesman. “Clay’s reliance on these tools and principles was key to the development of our Republic 200 years ago, and is just as crucial to successfully meeting the challenges of today. The Henry Clay Center hopes to have a regular presence in Washington to remind leaders of the value of Clay’s ideals of compromise and reconciliation” he said.

Latino College Empowerment Program holds mock interviews, helps students explore college Megan Graft

mjgraft18@transy.edu

On Friday, Jan. 23, Transylvania hosted several high school students for a mock interview session as part of the Latino College Empowerment Program (LCEP).

The interviews were part of a series of outreach events for Latino male high school students who have been proven by teachers and administrators to have the academic potential to go to college, but may not have the extra support of knowing its purpose or benefits. In addition, some students who desire to attend college may simply lack access to it.

“They may not because their parents are working or they’re working, might not be able to get to college campuses for visits or even know what a college has to offer,” said Serenity Wright, interim director of diversity and inclusion. “For a lot of them, maybe college hasn’t been a part of their family history, so that they don’t even know ‘what benefits could come from me going to college.’”

The mock interview sessions are only one part of a series of workshops for these students, a group of 10-12 Latino males from Woodford County High School, the first to test out this program.

“At each session we try to expose them to different college experiences,” said Wright. “So the first time they were here they did a campus tour, met with admissions. ‘This is what it looks like to apply. This is how you write a college essay.’”

The session that took place Friday focused on college interviews. The students

first met for a 30-45 minute session with Assistant Director of Career Development Michael Cronk, where they discussed interviewing skills and the interview process.

Next the students were given some time to think, then were given a 20-minute interview with student affairs staff, faculty members and student representatives. After their mock interview, the students were given feedback on their strengths and weaknesses.

High school junior Jose Chavez thought his interview session was helpful. “It went pretty well,” he said. “I think I learned a lot of things about it, about what I need to improve, what I did wrong. I think I can do better.”

At their next session, the Woodford County students will meet with the visiting Woodrow Wilson fellow to do a sort of mock class discussion, and will meet with Learning Skills Instructor Greg Strouse to talk about study skills and academic resources.

The last session will be a career session with Mike Nichols, assistant to the Dean of the university and visiting professor of psychology. The LCEP has identified some goals the students have for their careers so that they can target their specific needs.

“I’ve reached out to other Latino male community members who are in those positions to come in and talk to them on that last session about, ‘well, this is what the job is actually like,’” said Wright.

The LCEP is a program that comes directly out of the See Latino, Page 5

Campus Life

65 representatives attend Greek Leadership Retreat

A group of greek Transylvanians “pioneer” outside a conference building at invite general members there chapter. The results of these because we feel like it’s a assessments were then used in mebruton17@transy.edu Last weekend, Transyl- good opportunity for them to an analysis activity to examvania hosted an off-campus understand what’s going on, ine each chapter’s strengths Greek Leadership Retreat for them to get involved in the and weaknesses.

“It was about them sitwhich spanned two days, Jan. conversation.”

The first part of the reting down and having these 23 and 24. Each fraternity treat focused mainly on conversations about what our and sorority chapter was reteam-building and icebreaker strengths and weaknesses are, quired to send four executive activities, designed to foster so they have opportunities for members and three general strong positive relationships growth, but also to present members to the retreat, resultthose to the entire commuing in a total attendance of ap- between greek organizations.

“What we came to realize nity so the entire community proximately 65 students. is that while most people have knows where this chapter is “The focus of the retreat very close connections within struggling or what this chapwas really about the growth their own chapter, maybe they ter’s opportunities for growth and development of new don’t have as close connecare...,” said McKee. “So chapter leaders,” said Directions with members of other maybe it will allow the other tor of Student Involvement chapters,” said McKee. chapters to push each other.” and Leadership Shane McKLater that night the focus The next phase of the ee, who oversaw the retreat of the retreat shifted to a disretreat was a series of roundactivities. “We elect leaders cussion of the five dysfunctable discussions focusing on at the beginning of the year tions of a team.

Each member greek recruitment, housing, so the idea is to really hit the took an assessment to determember development, risk ground running with them mine the team dysfunctions management and attitude and once they get started. We also causing issues within their behaviors.

Mattie Bruton

Pencils of Promise expands to Transy Megan Graft

mjgraft18@transy.edu

founder Adam Braun tell his munities to band together story at a local young profes- and take on the task of buildsionals conference. Braun ing a school; that’s what Hilleft his multi-million dollar ton and his wife have underjob to start the non-profit taken in Lexington. with just $25 and a giving “My wife and I startheart. ed talking “His goal about it and was to get a said, ‘We “[Braun’s] goal was to think that pencil in the hands of as get a pencil in the hands of the commumany kids as many kids as possible.” nity of Lexas possible,” ington, Kensaid Hilton. can Mike Hilton tucky PoP opLexington PoP coordinator do this. We erates on think that grassroots Lexington funding. One can build way it raises a school,’” money is by simply encour- said Hilton. aging people to donate to the Hilton’s efforts in organization. They also raise Lexington began with the money by encouraging com- service club at Lexington

Catholic High School. The fundraiser was so successful that it raised $2,000 more than the $25,000 needed to build one school. Because of the immense success, PoP in Lexington was able to expand its goal to two schools, and it has only just recently reached out to Transy and the University of Kentucky.

100 percent of the $25,000 raised goes directly to support the new school; not a dollar of it goes to the organization itself. “We’re about $20,000 away from a second school,” said Hilton.

“It would be pretty awesome if we could get there, and I think we could do it.”

PoP encourages people See Pencils, Page 5

COURTESY OF PENCILS OF PROMISE

Pencils of Promise (PoP), a global education outreach program with fundraising efforts across the nation, is inviting Transylvania to help extend Lexington’s impact and run its own fundraising drive.

In the last five years, PoP has built close to 300 schools in Laos, Guatemala and Ghana. Mike Hilton started a project locally in March 2014. His goal for Lexington is to raise enough money to build two schools in Ghana.

Hilton and his family were inspired to start a fundraising campaign here in Lexington after hearing PoP

January 29, 2015

SARAH ALLISON

Page 2

Pencils of Promise builds schools primarily for K-8 children in Ghana, Laos, and Guatemala

their retreat location On the last morning of the retreat, McKee gave “state of community address” in which he discussed the perceived strength and weaknesses of Transy’s greek community as a whole he based his address on feedback he had collected from a variety of administrators, faculty and staff.

“I think that it was tough for some people to hear about how our faculty staff and administration sometimes struggles with our greek community, but what I presented to them was really that we are on the same team,” said McKee. “I am an advocate for our greek community. While I’m here to constantly push you to be better I’m also your biggest advocate and cheerleader.”

In his speech McKee also See Greek, Page 5

Campus hosts KCLC SaVannah Rash smrash18@transy.edu

On Feb. 7, student leaders from all over Kentucky will meet at Transylvania University to partake in the Kentucky Collegiate Leadership Conference (KCLC).

KCLC is a statewide leadership conference for all the universities in the commonwealth. The program was started in 2007 when several colleges came together and found a need for a conference that would build the leadership abilities and skills of undergraduate students.

The first KCLC event was hosted at Georgetown College and has grown every year. The program is intended to unite students together and to discuss topics such as leadership theory, student government, Greek life and more.

KCLC also encourages the students to go use their leadership skills to make positive changes in the community.

“The program is designed to help students develop into citizens who seek change in the community, country and world,” said Aaron Roberts, assistant director of student involvement and leadership and chairman, of the KCLC. “It is also designed to give the students self-awareness and the ability to discover what their strengths are, how to improve on them and how to use that to help the community in which they live.”

The theme of the conference this year is “Build-

ing Tomorrow’s Leaders Today.” Students who attend the event will see former mayor and Transylvania alumna Teresa Isaac as the keynote speaker and hear her speak on what she has learned since she has been in office. There will be several presentations three breakout sessions and a PechaKucha presentation will be held.

A PechaKucha presentation is a series of 20 slides shown for 20 seconds each making the presentation 6 minutes and 40 seconds long The slides are supposed to tell a story through pictures and nothing else. This presentation is designed to spark conversations and allow students to think outside the box.

“In the past, a student told the story about how his grandparents helped him to become the man he is today,” said Roberts. “The idea of the PechaKucha presentation is to help students ‘flow’ and create ideas to better utilize their leadership skills.”

The program is still looking for students to sign up and Roberts wants as many students as possible to participate. “The more students at the convention, the better,” he said.

The registration deadline is Jan. 28, but applications will still be accepted up until Jan. 30. Registration is free though the Office of Student Involvement and can be completed by emailing Aaron Roberts at aroberts@ transy.edu. Every student is welcome to sign up.

Etcetera

Page 3

January 29, 2015

And then they showed up Captioning Captain

This week’s prompt instructed to begin with the following introduction: June was never particularly exciting in our neighborhood. Not until the summer they moved next door. It was... edgoodrum15@transy.edu

June was never particularly exciting in our neighborhood. Not until the summer They moved next door. It was... well, to say it was odd was an understatement of unimaginable magnitude. To most people, They—or ‘Mr. & Mrs. They,’ as they introduced themselves at the neighborhood cookout—were beyond strange. To call them strange was like calling an ocean a drop of water. It just doesn’t cover the enormity of the situation. It was like they didn’t even belong in reality. I’m sure that their very existence broke several laws of quantum physics, and Albert Einstein would probably go mad if he met them.

Don’t believe me?

Here’s an example of how that first encounter went, right after the Theys had moved in. Most of the neighborhood, myself included, were enjoying each other’s company in the park just beyond the cul-de-sac. And then They showed up. “...”

You’ve probably noticed that I didn’t describe what happened at that cookout meeting, even though I explicitly said I would. This is because, after trying very hard to write down just what happened, I finally gave up. It’s not that I don’t remember what happened. What happened has been laser-etched onto my brain for all of eternity.

But because what happened was so strange, it seems the very laws of reason refuse to cooperate even when describing their presence. Whenever I write words describing them directly—such as what hair color they both share, or the clothes they were wearing, or the food they ate—the letters all scamper away from each other on the page, refusing to do their job. Even literature itself won’t admit to their existence directly.

Why is this? Well, I haven’t the faintest idea, but I plan to find out.

The problem won’t be discovering the secret to their oddness, though; I feel that shall come quite easily. The problem will be writing my findings down. How do you prove you discovered such a monumental bit of knowledge, such as the explanation of the Theys’ existence, when words literally fail you?

This was going to be difficult.

Later that night, I crept up to the They’s window as stealthily as I could. Twilight had descended into early night about half an hour ago. I could still hear some hyperactive dogs yapping a few blocks over whilst cicadas buzzed in the trees all

around, and I hoped they were enough to mask the sound of my crawling on all fours across the They’s lawn.

It was a well-kept lawn, nothing strange about it, but that had been the work of the family who used to live here making their old home look presentable rather than anything the Theys had done. I shuddered to imagine what They would make of the lawn if left to their own devices. For a horrific moment, I had a vision of everything the Theys touched being subjected to their ineffable nature and all of human language breaking down because no one could describe their influence.

Shaking my head vigorously to clear such unwanted thoughts, I sat with my back to the brick wall of the They residence, eyes looking up at the light radiating from their open window.

I’d avoided the shaft of luminance in my trek across the yard, and I hadn’t seen anyone moving about inside despite hearing the They’s spine-chilling voices discussing nothing of particular interest or... was it interesting?

Perhaps their mundanities were all a cleverly-worded code to converse about their real intention of being impossible to understand, a cruel self-aware discourse which talked about their impossible nature in impossible tongues until the myriad layers and levels of unknowability drove all who attempted to learn about them mad from the attempt.

But, wait a moment... wasn’t the fact that I could understand even a smidgen of what they were discussing, even if I wasn’t sure whether it was truly monotonous or just a mysterious enigma, evidence of the fact that they weren’t as ineffable as I had originally believed? But no, that was impossible... how could people, if they even were people, become less ineffable?

Was my mind slowly becoming acclimatized in some form or fashion to their existence, building up a resistance to their strangeness in the same way a callous hardens the skin against repeated hard labor?

As I listened further, I realized that I could even make out individual words they were saying, and there truly didn’t seem to be anything the least bit eldritch or alien to them. I could hear Mr. They asking his wife “Is there anything on TV you would be interested in watching tonight?” and Mrs. They answering with “Not that I know of, but we can always channel surf and see if we find anything good.”

This new

development was almost as strange as my first encounter with the Theys. I tried to remember their first appearance at the neighborhood picnic, sifting through my memories and analyzing every minute detail. It was all there, still as strange and indescribable as ever.

But if they had been utterly bizarre then, why were they not so now? Had the infinite strangeness which they had earlier exhibited simply left them, like a disease dying out from a successful build up of antibodies in the host?

“What’s that noise?”

I suddenly heard Mrs. They say. “I think there’s someone at the window...”

“Is someone out there?” Mr. They asked, a tone of warning mixed with unease creeping into his voice. Before I could skitter away, the thumping of Mr. They’s footsteps grew louder and the balding head of a perfectly ordinarylooking, if somewhat portly, middle-aged man was poking out of the window and locking eyes with mine. “What the—you’re that weirdo from the picnic today!

What are you doing?!”

I was the weirdo?

But that didn’t make any sense, there was no explanation for such a...it was something that could not be understood or described.

It was something... unknowable.

Had I suddenly somehow caught the strangeness which had vacated the Theys?

But that also didn’t make any sense, and in more ways than my earlier observation.

They thought I had been the weird one earlier, not they themselves... had I always been the unknowability?

No, that couldn’t be...but the evidence, as nonsensical as it was, was undeniable, and only because it was so nonsensical did it bear any weight. Had it been my own strangeness which twisted my perceptions, nay, my very mind, into thinking the Theys had been the odd ones when in fact it had been myself all along?

I opened my mouth to reply to the frightened man still looking at me from his window, and all that poured out was a stream of sounds, if they could even be called sounds, that couldn’t have possibly been made by a human, or any organism or natural phenomenon for that matter. It was like hearing the sound of a color that couldn’t be perceived on humanity’s visible spectrum, mixed in with the smell of yesterday’s eternity.

There are no Theys, I realized. There is only the I.

Why is that wizard pouring dust on that panel member? And why is the guy in the corner so amused?: __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

Photos via Creative Commons

Ethan Goodrum

Everyone loves to read a humorous caption that fits just right with its picture. Here you have the opportunity to do this yourself with the photos below. Should you come up with something that you would like to share with the rest of the Transy community, email it to the Etcetera editor (ajmenes15@transy.edu) and we’ll rerun the photo with your caption. All students, faculty and staff are welcome to participate.

Where would you find this sign? Why aren’t the weird fish friendly?: __________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

Umbral: Part 2 Matthew Thornton mmthornton17@transy.edu

It was only a day after the darkness lifted from my vision, curled into a strange black egg and disappeared into the shadows, that the thing started to appear to me.

Since the weird dark motes had gone I had felt like I was walking on air. When they had covered my vision with their odd roiling swirls I had been convinced that I was going blind, panic ripping through my mind at the thought of drifting through a world devoid of color and light, of books television and movies.

Even of my uncles’ pretentious and terrible watercolors.

Almost everything in my life was taken in at least in part through the eyes, I’d be able to adjust and maintain a crappy retail job, but I’d lose the one that I had in the meantime. I’d been terrifiedly going through everything that would change, of everything in my life that would be swallowed up in the gloomy blackness that would consume my vision. To have them gone lifted a huge burden from me. I was free, and even the boring grind of everyday existence seemed liberating. Yes I was college dropout, yes all I had to my name was a cell-like apartment, full of junk and a bike that had been broken for the greater part of three months, but I at least had that. It wouldn’t be taken from me.

I called into work, apologized for missing my shift, made something up about having a cold. I could hear the

scowl on my boss’s face as he told me that it was fine but I was down to my last, and lectured me about responsibilities and giving notice blah blah. I didn’t care. Ten minutes before I’d thought I’d be calling the emergency room, begging someone on the other side of the line to send an ambulance, a doctor, something. Instead I was here. And, I realized I had a free day. Breaking into a grin I grabbed a book randomly from my crowded coffee table and sunk onto the decrepit sofa. I might not have much but I was determined to enjoy it. I paid no attention to the shadows that slid across the floor as the sun moved beyond the window, or to the ones cast by trees and streets as I walked through them near dusk. I was too consumed with myself, and with the fresh happiness I was finding in the formally half-despised streets of Concord.

I didn’t notice it until I was on my way back from work the next day, walking to the bus stop. A tiny figure dashing about in the shadows beneath someone’s porch, mere glimpses of it snatched from the corner of my eye. I saw it three more times on the bus ride back to my building, cavorting beneath parked cars, sliding along the thin shadow of telephone pole, and leaping from wall to wall in a gloomy loading dock. It was all spikes and angles, a tiny humanoid form that looked like it would cut me to ribbons if it only brushed me. And it was the deepest black I had ever seen, as if someone had cut

a paper doll out of the ebony fabric of space and breathed a strange life into it. I walked fast back to my building. I saw it once more as I sped up the steps, stalking along behind the dumpster. Somehow I knew it was facing me. Watching.

I burst into my room and dashed to the window.

I yanked the shades up, tiny gears and string and cheap dust covered metal screaming in resistance. Light flooded the room. It wasn’t enough, shadows still clung everywhere. I ran about, turning on lamps, flicking light switches. I ran to the kitchenette, grabbed flashlights from the sink flicking them on. A flashlight in both hands I sat cross-legged on my bed. I spent the night carefully shining flashlights at every patch of shadow I could see. I only got up to close the blinds as night fell, and then to open them at dawn. Stumbling onto the sofa, I sat shaking and exhausted. The thing in the shadows had been the same thing that had formed from the darkness that had infested my vision the other day. It had been real. I knew that somehow. Knew that this wasn’t some bizarre hallucination like I had thought it had been – or rather, had convinced myself that it must have been. There had been intelligence in the thing as it bounded about, it had been following me, stalking me.

I drifted off on the lumpy couch, consumed by thoughts of that tiny creature, made entirely of angles and darkness.

Opinion

Page 4

Janurary 29, 2015

CHEERS JEERS

skateboards that one of your buddies has strapped rockets to and pointed towards the edge of Angel Falls and the locking yourself in a refrigerator that sits on a series of skateboards that one of your buddies has strapped rockets to and pointed towards the edge of Angel Falls with a boombox with this song playing on repeat: Both options will bring you to an earlier demise, all the while giving you a thrilling and energetic experience, only the latter option is slightly more unpleasant.

Cheers to Netflix for picking up Totally Spies. I haven’t seen it since middle school, but I am sure it’s quality entertainment for all ages. And no, Dad, just because the characters are all girls wearing tight spandex jumpsuits, I am not watching it because I think the girls are cute. Those gals got nothing on Sailor Moon.

Jeers to Super Bowl advertising.

Before you guys throw away the paper in disgust, hear me out. I like watching Super Bowl ads as much as the next guy. In fact, 51% of my reasoning for watching the Super Bowl is because of the ads. However, I am talking about the culture surrounding the ads. Last week I saw a teaser trailer for a ad planned to air

Scanned by CamScanner

Artist’s interpretation of Nos Zero

during the big game. A 30 second teaser for a two and a half minute advertisement.

I only have a minor in mathematics, but I can say without an inkling of doubt that the length of the teaser is 20% of the length of the actual advertisement.

Furthermore, it only gives publicity to the publicity for the company. It gets even more preposterous than that: after I saw the teaser, I saw a link on Youtube for an analysis of the teaser for the ad.

The length of the analysis? Three whole minutes. And this is not an isolated occurrence. Thousands of Youtubers get their revenue from stupid mooks listening to reviews and analysis of advertisements.

I saw an analysis of a Transformers: Age of Extinction teaser a couple years back.

That video was literally a review of an ad for an ad for a movie about a toy ad.

Cheers to the word “mook.” It sounds just offensive enough to get your point across, but it’s perfectly G-rated. Timone from Timone and Pumbaa said it all the time, and it has left a considerable impact on my use of the English language to this day. The word means a stupid, ignorant or disagreeable person. The origin of the word is unknown, but sources claim it comes from a variation of “moke,” which means donkey or fool, or possibly from Cantonese “mook jung” (“dead wood” or “wooden dummy”).

Cheers to the old Nickelodeon TV show, All That. I’m sure it had very original jokes and was ground breaking for a kid’s show, but I don’t remember any of that, mostly because I wasn’t allowed to watch Nickelodeon as a kid. I commend it for what I saw recently, which was the use of the insult, “fish twat,” on air. That was a children’s television program folks, and I’m not even permitted to say that insult.

Cheers to Ellen, my significant other of three years and soon-to-be wife. She is my muse and is perfect and beautiful in every way. She did not contribute to this article in any way, shape or form, with the exception of buying me a poor a excuse for an energy drink.

Letters to the Editor Letters should be: No more than 400 words. The Rambler reserves the right to cut letters to the editor to fit our length requirements, and we may edit your letters to fix grammar or spelling mistakes.

Signed, with contact information. Full name and telephone number or e-mail address is needed.

Letters must be original. We will not accept form letters.

Send your letters to: rambler@transy.edu

Rambler

The

After a long shift at a retail job, it feels wondrous to sit back with a glass of a fine beverage and murder the crap out of your friends in a virtual setting. This game doesn’t put you in a suit of futuristic power armor with a gigantic battle rifle to go pew pew pew everything in sight, but instead it delivers a more down to earth albeit rather satisfying brand of death and mayhem. You and your friends are put onto recreational cruise ships of various sizes, decked out in 1920s Art Deco styling, only to have the task of killing a single person on the ship, all while someone tries to kill only you.

And no one can see you kill your target, otherwise you get thrown in the brig. You play as a normal person and run around on a ship, don disguises to confuse your killer and find weapons on the ship. Oh, and the weapons you find. Frying pans, scalpels, paddles, poisons, wallet bombs, flare guns, revolvers, blunderbusses, claymores, katana, and so many more.

While you do all of this, you also have to take care of normal human needs, like eating, drinking, and hygiene. I had to drink water to stay hydrated, only to have to relieve myself at a lavatory. Once in the lavatory, at the most vulnerable of a person could be, I was brutally beaten to death by a crochet mallet. 11/10 would die with my pants down again.

Jeers to Nos Zero. It’s like the regular Nos energy drink, but sucks. If my motive for consuming this beverage is for a quick and barely non-lethal method of inducing as much mental focus and pure energy via copious amounts of caffeine and chemicals that would make an organic-chem student shiver, my last concern is counting calories. By agreeing to partake in this godforsaken beverage, I understand that my lifespan has decreased by small margin in exchange for a more productive life in them moment. Because I have agreed to these terms, I do not understand why I even have the choice of picking the same sort of wonderful poison but without a tolerable taste. It’s like choosing between locking yourself in a refrigerator that sits on a series of

ELLEN HEFFRON

Readers, there comes a time in an editor’s life, when he doesn’t get any content. It is this point when the mortal soul feels the most vulnerable, out in the unforgiving cold with no chance of shelter, alone on a cliff against the hordes of the faceless and the merciless that gather in the distance. At this point, when nearly every last glimmer of hope has shipped off to greater pastures, when the weight of cowardice drags the common man to his knees, the page fails to have any reason to read it. However, dear readers, dear friends, lend me your eyes and affix them to the page, for I am not the common man. I am your opinion editor and the cheers and jeers writer. I will not let this slow week devoid of strong opinions bring down my relentless snark. I will not rest until this entire page is filled with entertaining, enlightening, educational, nutritious, and a wholesome part of a complete breakfast. My gears will always find some new thing that will grind them. The world is never free from my judgmental gaze. The rage that fills me on this Wednesday evening, when before me stands a blank vellum and an empty inbox, gives me the strength and the courage to bring you’re the cheeriest of cheers, and most gruesome, bloodcurdlingly jeery jeers the likes of which have never been seen. The gauntlet is thrown, the winter storm commeth. My friends, have a seat, for now in the first time in my one and a half years of writing for this blasted university paper, I bring you a full page of unrestrained content.

The purest essence off my being, released upon the printed word. Prepare yourself for the cheers and the jeers.

Cheers to a whole page presented to me, ready to carry my message to the horde of tens.

Jeers to some individuals who spend a frustratingly long amount of time getting food at the cafeteria. You know the people I speak of. They walk up the burger bar, pick up the tongs and meticulously grab one fry at a time. One. Single. Fry. Per. Grab. While they hold up the line, people starve. We wither away to nothing, after paying a good division of our student loan to even get the opportunity to get something to eat, all the while the asshat in the front picks up the smallest scoop of whatever morsel before them. The atrocity doesn’t stop there. While me and my fellow hungry sisters and brothers queue up for mediocre sustenance, waiting for our day to finally reach our moment of Zen, the people taking little baby scoops of food also acquire the nerve to stop what they are doing and talk to people not in line. And of course, who can forget the cretins who stop to stare at all of the food, and then spend an eternity plotting and planning what to move from the buffet and onto their plate. At the end of the line, we see the food. We cannot get the food. But we do know it all tastes the same, so grab it and move. If you don’t like it, don’t eat it and get something else.

Grab and move. I could go on and on about public food etiquette, but no one can say it better than the late comic genius John Pinette.

Cheers to The Ship: M u r d e r P a r t y .

AND

Editor-in-Chief.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Rachel Smith Managing Editor.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Mattie Bruton Photo Editor.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sarah Allison Campus Life Editor.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Megan Graft ETC Editor.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ameka Menes OpinionEditor.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .JesseJohnson A&EEditor.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . JustineYentsch SportsEditor.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .JMadisonCrader Chief Copy Editor.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Stacey Venneman Copy Editor.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Kaitlin Haggard Adviser.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .TylerYoung

A&E

Page 5

January 29, 2015

Transylvania theater jumps— program prepares for from pages upcoming season

1&2

Marketing

SARAH ALLISON

vidual academic programs.

“We’re leading backwards,” she said of the current marketing strategy at Transylvania. “We’re leading with our academic reputation and less about our academic programs and majors. We need to tweak that conversation a bit so that we’re fully talking about Transylvania and not just talking about liberal arts up in the clouds as this lofty ideal.”

Sparks said it is important for every constituency to be on board with this recharge for one main reason.

“When you think about an Senior Josiah Knight performs in Fall semester’s “Shakespeare in Mind.” The show, which garnered attention both on campus and on local news networks. This semester, the theater program will put on the shows “Suddenly, Last Summer,” a one-act play on the death of man during a vacation with his cousin, and “Dying City,” where a young therapist interacts with the identical twin brother of her husband who had died in Iraq. May term’s production will be “Laramie Project.”

The minutes are counting down until cabaret’s “time” themed showcase

Greek laid out steps that greek organizations could take to make progress in the coming months.

“I challenge our greek community to be proactive problem solvers, not reactive excuse makers,” said McKee. “A lot of times we have a tendency to focus on the negative, we have a tendency to make excuses.”

The retreat concluded with a discussion about what representatives felt they had

Pencils to fundraise by using their unique talents. Hilton and his wife babysat several fiveyear-olds for eight hours one day in exchange for donations. Lexington Catholic did a bake sale.

“One kid’s a bowler and got someone to sponsor him for every pin he knocked down throughout the course of the season,” said Hilton.

“One of the coolest ones is there’s a girl in L.A. who decided she was going to build a school herself, so she rode her bicycle from L.A. to New York City, got someone to sponsor every mile on the way, and hand-delivered the check for $25,000 in New

SARAH ALLISON

Junior Brooke Jennett, sophomore Justin Wright, freshman Brayden Bergman, sophomore Alex Cesar, and senior Jamie Hagood showcase their dramatic skills while practicing for the opening number of this year’s Cabaret performance. For the first time, the show will only be one night, so it’s reccommended to buy tickets early before they sell out.

What: Pi Kappa Alpha’s Designer Sale Where: Front Lobby, Forrer When: Jan. 30, 12-10 p.m.

In order to benefit St. Jude’s Research Hospital, Transy’s Pi Kappa Alpha chapter will be hosting a designer sale.

Both credit card and cash will be accepted, including over 100 pairs of new

shoes (Lily Pulitzer, Puma, Badgley Mischka, Michael Kors, and more), Kate Spade wallets, purses, clothing, a bike, a GPS system, a kindle fire, a TV and more. For every $10 spent, an entry will be put in the running for a gift card raffle either for $100 in the iTunes store, $25 at Olive Garden, and $20 at Panera.

institution such as ours, every single person is a recruiter,” she said. “We’re all here to learn, to grow as individuals, but we also want this institution to succeed and to flourish and to prosper.

And a part of that is, we all become ambassadors for the institution.”

This branding recharge will include a refreshed logo, all-new marketing materials for admissions, new fonts, a website overhaul and the revival of the Transylvania magazine.

“We’re not changing who we are,” said Sparks. “We’re bringing to light who we are.”

From Page 2

gained from the experience.

McKee said that the retreat was an overall success.

“I was very proud of all the students that were there,” said McKee. “I thought that we had great conversations.

They were all very passionate about our community and I think that’s really exciting.

My hope is that everything we talked about and discussed, we really take back to our chapters.”

From Page 2

York City.”

The school that Lexington builds in Ghana will be donated in the name of the community of Lexington, KY. Lexington’s fundraiser is part of a special campaign to build 500 schools in Ghana. Hilton hasn’t yet decided to what or whom the second school will be dedicated.

Transy students, faculty and staff are encouraged to participate in three ways.

One way is to make a donation to the Lexington Loves PoP fundraising team at fundraise.pencilsofpromise. org. Another way is to start an individual fundraiser within the Lexington team

Latino admissions office and the new diversity and inclusion position at Transy. Its goal is to expose Latino students to college. Latino males are currently one of the more underrepresented groups on

From Page 1

with a goal of $100, $500 or $1,000. The third and most important way to participate is to spread the word.

“We just firmly believe in giving,” said Hilton. “Everybody’s got a responsibility to work to get better at what you do and use those talents to benefit the world around you.”

Pencils of Promise builds schools, trains teachers and funds scholarships for students around the world, bringing them lifechanging education with sustainable, quality programs.

Visit their website or contact mcghilton@gmail.com for more information.

From Page 2

college campuses across the country.

“This is truly an outreach program to try and encourage Latino students to go to college,” said Wright.

Students like Chavez

have also considered Transy specifically. “I think it’s a good school, I think it will provide what I need... I’m considering it,” he said.

Things you don’t want to miss

What: Cabaret Where: Haggin Auditorium, MFA When: Jan. 31, 7:30 p.m.

songs with Transy’s choirs, though this year many nonchoir students will also show off their talents.

Transy’s annual performance will feature music from the past 60 years falling under the theme of “Time.” The show will include throwbacks to classic hits, as well modern songs and solo acts.

Included in the show are

What: Central Kentucky Concert Band Concert Where: Haggin Auditiorium, MFA When: Feb. 1, 3:00 p.m.

For its 39th year of touring, the Central Kentucky

Concert Band will perform at Transylvania. The musical ensemble is known as the premier adult concert band in Kentucky.

What: Faculty Recital— Merrilee Elliot and Loren Tice Where: Carrick Theater, MFA When: Feb. 1, 7:30 p.m.

Transylvania faculty Merrilee Elliott (playing the flute) and Loren Tice (playing the piano) will perform a recital showcasing their talents

Sports

Page 6

January 29, 2015

Lane shares passion, information about talk show, little known facts mrcrader18@transy.edu

With the basketball team’s great success this season, it was interesting to get to know more about Head Coach Brian Lane, the man behind the scenes.

1. Where did you get your passion for basketball?

I saw at an early age how fun and exciting basketball could be. I had the unique opportunity to see some of the very best basketball played at Transylvania and down the road at the University of Kentucky. I loved the excitement of the games in really enjoyed seeing the energy that he brought to the campus. I started going to basketball camps at Transylvania when I was five and my summers were chocked full of McAllister memories and shooting baskets to the wee hours of the night.

2. How did your career as an athlete affect your career as a coach?

I tell my guys all the time that I know exactly what they’re going through. I stayed in the same dorms I wore the same name across the chest I studied in the same library and even had some of the same professors. I know how time consuming basketball and academics can be so it certainly affects how I deal with the players as the season progresses

3. What is your favorite part about coaching?

I love the fact that no two days are alike throughout

the year. I enjoy recruiting and seeing student athletes decide to come to Transylvania to further their careers and improve as a basketball player. I get a thrill out of preparing a team for games and seeing those guys that put a great deal of trust in us as coaches be successful.

4. Tell me about The Brian Lane Show.

We are very lucky to have a weekly television show that runs throughout the basketball season.

Every Sunday it goes into the homes of over two-thirds of the entire state. We tape the show every Thursday at the WKYT studios here in Lexington. It is a wonderful opportunity for many people that aren’t able to make it to the games to see the quality student athletes we have a Transylvania. Brian Milam is the host and he spends and an enormous amount of time editing video and doing interviews to make the show what it is.

5. How did it get started?

How has it developed throughout the different seasons?

Transylvania always had a weekly basketball show dating back to the 1970s.

Coach Don Lane’s show was on WLEX TV and the show was hosted by now world-famous NBC announcer Tom Hammond.

That was before cable TV so you can imagine how many people were watching each weekend when there were only three channels available. We would regularly have three or four

live broadcast on the NBC Channel right before the national game of the week.

When I became head coach we took a couple years off without a show and then the TV station approached us to start it back up.

Wayne Martin then general manager of WKYT was instrumental in getting us a prime spot every Sunday.

6. What is your favorite part about the talk show?

I

My favorite part is when Brian Milam interviews our players and does some unique things with them.

If the show was just me talking into the camera it would not be very exciting.

7. What is your favorite part about coaching basketball?

I really enjoy it when we help a student athlete become a better basketball player than they ever dreamed they could be.

8. What is your favorite part about Transy basketball?

I love the fact that I coach at a university that values the importance of athletics.

I am humbled by the fact that Transylvania has had great hall of fame basketball coaches before me. I have seen all of the Transylvania greats play and I have seen what a Transylvania degree plus being a Transylvania basketball player can do for someone after they graduate. I sometimes lose sight of the fact of how well respected Transylvania basketball is throughout the country.

COURTESY OF SPORTS INFORMATION

Madison Crader

Head Coach Brian Lane on the sidelines coaching the men’s basketball team. They have had a very successful season so far.

9. What is something unique about you that most people don’t know?

I have been to Canada, China, Ecuador and Paris, France because of basketball. My wife is in the Transylvania Athletic Hall of Fame. I have traveled

to 45 of the 50 states plus the Virgin Islands and I have a Transylvania golf ball that was hit around Saddam Hussein’s mansion.

10. How hard is it to balance your personal life with the coaching schedule?

have a very supportive wife and family or it would be very difficult.

They understand for Transy to be successful and maintain our nationally recognized basketball and golf programs that it takes 80+ hours a week during the basketball season. I love what I do.

Transy baseball holds first team practice of the season at midnight that they would not be able to work on in the Beck Center.

Campbell said, “It’s sort of a ‘greatest hits’ practice to get the basics down before we work on things more in depth.”

“This practice will focus on doing some things that we won’t be able to do in the Beck Center—most specifically things that replicate gamelike situations. It will be high energy and fairly short in length; we all

have to get in bed and be productive on Monday,” continued Campbell.

As a whole, the practice was an ambitious decision on behalf of the baseball team, but getting there to start working on the season as soon as possible, was just a small part of the benefits the team got from that practice. Overall, Campbell and the players describe the night as a bonding experience for the team.

“It’s definitely a team bonding experience,” said Campbell. With 29 players, it’s hard to get everyone together until we move to having practices outside after classes. Having everyone together on a ‘field’ is a great bonding opportunity.”

The players echo their coach on this idea of the practice bonding them together at the start of the season. The team is anxious to get the season started.

First year Rex Rogers said, “ It was interesting!

I never had a midnight practice before but it was just awesome being able to practice with the team.”

Sophomore first baseman and pitcher Bryce Crader said, “We were all a little tired, but excited at the same time that the season is upon us. Let’s get it boys!”

COURTESY OF SPORTS INFORMATION

the team did not hold the practice at their home, Madison Crader William A. Marquard Field. mrcrader18@transy.edu However, the team has Monday was the first gained use of an indoor day that the NCAA allowed facility in Nicholasville that spring season sports to start has a full infield indoors. full team practices again.

This allows for them The Transy baseball team to still hold practice even took full advantage of their when the weather does not first day of practicing by allow for practices outside. holding practice at midnight The indoor facility is not on Monday morning. exclusive to Transy, so The men arrived at usually when the team needs the practice around 11:30 to use the indoor field, they p.m. and promptly started have to share it with other practice the first minute athletes who train there. that the NCAA allowed. By practicing at midnight, Head coach Chris Campbell the team was able to didn’t want the first practice have the indoor facility of the season to be something all to themselves, which that the players would dread. is a rare but very useful In order to take advantage opportunity for the men. of practice time, usually the “Normally, we would team will wake up early for have to schedule around training before classes start. classes, not to mention the Instead of doing this, facility’s own busy schedule.

Campbell wanted to start the At midnight, the place season off on a different note. is ours,” said Campbell.

“Usually, we get Since the practice up early on the first day was taking place at odd and condition,” said hours of the morning, Campbell. “For me, it’s a it was more condensed bit anticlimactic to get up than the team’s usual full on the first day of practice team training. However, and dread it. We play a game the team still worked on and it’s supposed to be fun. things that they would Though we are going to normally work on during work hard all year, I think the first week of the season. it’s important to start out the The team took advantage season with a note of fun.” of having the indoor field by Due to the winter weather, working mostly on things

Sophomore Tom Banahan pitching last season. Some of the pitchers had to practice after the midnight practie later that Monday.