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EDGE
the
MACK Moulsham Street
01245 359111 Wharf Road
01245 256111
MACK
ISSUE NO: 186
‘THE CHELMSFORD FANZINE’
APRIL 2012
Get your Hair Fit for the summer with one of our
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The Edge Chelmsford CM2 6XD
Telephone 01245 348256
Mobile: 077 646 797 44
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Exclusive Kitchen & Interior Design Company Opens in Chelmsford After 5 months careful planning and investment, Spazio Design of Chelmsford, specialists in the design, supply and installation of quality kitchen and interior products, opened its doors to the public with a grand launch party on Saturday 10th March.
KITCHENS
LIVING
BEDROOMS
LIGHTING
The Mayor and Mayoress of Chelmsford with Spazio Design MD Kevin Miles The day began at 10am when the Mayor of Chelmsford, councillor Bob Shepherd, accompanied by Mayoress Doreen Shepherd, cut the ribbon to commence proceedings. After a short speech, they were given a grand tour of the new showroom, taking in the extensive range of designer kitchens, plus bedroom, living furniture and lighting on offer. Patisseries and drinks were served by Limeberry Catering who kept the multitude of guests fed and watered all day long. Midday saw the arrival of celebrity chef Mark Baumann and his wife Fiona, who were particularly impressed by the stunning range of cookers from American manufacturer Wolf. The next celebrity guest certainly had visitors tongues wagging, as Amy Childs lit up the room in a stunning turquoise dress. Amy happily posed for photographs with excited fans, and spent time with Spazio Design director Martino Basile, as he talked her through the various displays. Amy left to have lunch but returned at 5pm to enjoy the evening entertainment and was actually one of the last to leave! At 5pm Kieran Spivey, local singer and budding R&B star, began a set of classic ‘Rat Pack’ and jazz songs to get the party going in full swing. By this time, the drinks were positively flowing, with around 100 visitors in attendance enjoying festivities and entertainment.
complete kitchen complete interior and inter ior design solutions solu utions 40 New w Street Chelmsford d CM1 1PH T: 01245 5 299 331 T: 5 265 221 F: 01245 info@spaziodesign.co.uk info@spazio odesign.co.uk www.spaziodesign.co.uk www.spazio odesign.co.uk Page 2
Guests were fed and watered throughout the Opening Day celebrations, whilst Amy Childs (right) looked absolutely beautiful enjoing a glass of bubbly! The evening was rounded off with the announcement of the winning free prize draw, with prizes including a £100 voucher to be used at the Blue Bridge restaurant in Writtle, a beautiful Italian hamper, a £150 Virgin Active experience voucher, plus a stunning Pebble coffee-table designed by Matthius Demacker. N.B. The winner of a Miele vacuum cleaner tried to swap prizes with the coffee-table winner, albeit without success! Spazio Design managing director Kevin Miles was clearly happy with the day`s events. “Five months ago we had a vision to bring a London style showroom to Chelmsford, one of England`s most up and coming towns, and now a city. To see this come to fruition with so many guests and friends is fantastic. The showroom looks amazing - exactly as we had hoped - and the response by visitors bodes well for our future success.” The Edge 01245 348256
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You’ll rememb e name no r my w th won’tch o’, a?
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Too flaming right The Edge will remember your name in future, love! This is Amy Childs, readers. Yes, off that ‘The Only Way Is Essex’ programme (apparently), but as your editor’s never even seen it, I didn’t know who she was when I spotted her at the all new, posh, sexy, Spazio Kitchen’s grand opening bash on Saturday 10th March at their impressive, spacious studio opposite Fitness First in New Street, Chelmsford. But now that The Edge has finally stopped dribbling, all it can say is, ‘Corrrrr, what a stunner!’ These days, Amy has ditched T.O.W.I.E. in favour of modeling, fashion and TV presenting, as well as a starring role in her very own show: ‘It’s All About Amy’ (Channel 5). And get this: according to Wikipedia, Amy “lives in Brentwood with her Mum and Dad, older brother Billy, and three thugs.� Eh? Three thugs? Do they mean pugs (as in: those cute ickle doggies)??? What’s all that about? Can anyone enlighten The Edge? Preferably the glam girl herself....
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have been the fact that you didn’t see my plea. So what is it then? Are you as dumbstruck as me? Come on, readers. As teachers used to write beside our essays and in our report cards: MUST DO BETTER in ‘idiot red’ ink. So let’s be hearing from you. Otherwise that is a truly damning indictment upon our ickle town. (Oops!)
SO WE’RE A CITY?
Hmmmmm. Well, they do say that ‘small is beautiful’.
STYLISTICS
The Edge Editor’s Column GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!
What tickets? Why, for ‘Sparks Will Fly’, or course. Something majorly spectacular in Hylands Park on the evening of Friday 6th July. It’s tricky to describe, but a wonder to see, or so The Edge has been told. So get your FREE tickets on-line now at www.sparkswillfly.org.uk before the rest of the county gets their hands on ’em.
10 GREAT THINGS ABOUT CHELMSFORD
EROTIC
The Edge kicked off this brand new series last month, when Chelmsford was merely a town, with a warming tribute to Lek’s Thai Food outlet in Chelmsford Market, before admitting it was going to struggle to find another nine. So I requested your help - and what did I get? Bugger all. That’s right, sweet bugger all. Now I know you all read the mag, so it can’t
I suddenly started singing You Make Me Feel Brand New to myself in a right HPV (high pitched voice) in the middle of the night and could I shake it off? Could I buggery. “My love, I’ll never find the words, my love...” How annoying is it when it happens, eh? “To tell you how I feel, my love...” Especially when you’re not particularly fond of the song in the first place. “Mere words could not explain...” Then it goes up an octave. “Precious love, you held my life in your hands...” What utter cobblers. “Created everything I am...” Honestly, I’d have far rather walked down Chelmsford chuffing High Street dressed like a Stylistic than have that bloody nonsense reverberating around dans my tete.
KID’S SPEAK THE TRUTH
This young kid walked past me holding hands with her mummy and said, “That man’s got a bald head just like daddy.” For some reason, her Mum apologised.
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISER GOES A.W.O.L.
I lost a semi-regular classified advertiser this month, readers, all because of my ‘attitude’. You see, they thought that after I’d constructed a quality advert for them and they’d run it for a few editions that they could then change it for a piss poor Mickey Mouse type advert, just because they were paying for it. No, no, no, no, no. Them’s not the rules. Sorry. Only while we’re on the subject, if you’re an advertiser, or a potential advertiser, don’t think for one minute that just because things run in such-and-such a manner wherever the hell else you’ve been advertising (up until now) that things will run exactly the same at The Edge, because they don’t.
MEDAL
Got up at 5:00am to finish this particular edition off as catching BSB (big silver bird) to Thailand the following day. I actually got up at 4:00am, looked at my Wallace & Gromit clock in my office, before thinking ‘bugger that’ and jumped back into bed for another hour. But I’m not telling you this because I think I deserve a medal for my DTD (devotion to duty) or anything. Although....I guess I am. Because it’s like Edge columnist Tracie points out on page 30 this month, if men do anything (and by that we do mean anything, including picking our own noses from time to time) then we damn well want you to know about it. And not just you, but everyone. So the bottom-line is probably (definitely), yeah, I really do want a medal for getting up at such a poxy, unGodly hour. THE EDGE Chelmsford CM2 6XD 01245 348256 shaun@theedgemag.co.uk
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The Edge 01245 348256
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Ali’s Taxis 46-46-46
‘Plastic Brit’ Tiffany Porter OK by Edge
SPOTTED (DICKS)
The Edge spotted two topless dicks wearing Bermuda shorts by the traffic lights on Rectory Lane on THURSDAY 1st MARCH. Now it was a truly beautiful day out there on that particular day, but ‘shirts off’ and ‘loud shorts’ walking along a concrete footpath in Chelmsford Del Sol? Leave it out, lads.
www.theedgemag.co.uk
Word has filtered through to The Edge that a Yank by the name of Tiffany Porter has been appointed British team captain in some athletics tournament or other (blimey, have the Olympics started already then?) ahead of Jessica Ennis and Mo Farah (who?). Whatever’s all the fuss about? We’ve got a Greek in the palace and no-one can understand a word Steven Gerrard says if he goes on to lead us in this summers Euro’s. Bottom line is, Tiff looks good in a pair of shorts and for spasmodic armchair viewers like The Edge, that’s all that bloody matters.
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shaun@theedgemag.co.uk
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Citizen celebrates Chelmsford’s successful bid for City Status and admits being taken by surprise over the timing as Citizen had already completed its second column - on Chelmsford’s bid for city status - when out of the blue (?) the announcement was made! Having, perhaps in hindsight, been mildly disparaging about some rival bids, the editor gave Citizen a deadline to rewrite - whilst retaining the gist of the original, as you only have to watch the Oscars to know that once victory is announced, everyone becomes magnanimous in success! So here goes. Citizen loves cities (as its name may suggest) - and takes City breaks several times a year in the UK, Europe and further afield. Essex born and bred, Citizen had long believed that the county deserved a city and celebrates Chelmsford’s success over its rivals, including the counties two other candidates. However, some blogs and comments on websites seem to be a little condescending about the size of Chelmsford. In fact, at around 169,000 citizens, Chelmsford is already bigger than 25 current English cities, including Cambridge and such comparative minnows as Wells and Lichfield. Of its fellow candidates, Chelmsford was only dwarfed by Reading (the favourite), Dudley, Luton and Milton Keynes. This raises another point, as in Citizens book, there should be a distinction between your average city and a truly massive one, such as London or New York. For example, how can you use the same word to describe Paris (population 2,181,371 in 2008) and Bangor with 13,725 inhabitants? Citizen believes that a different name should be used for the great, world class cities, of which most countries only have one or two, and a few, like the US, have several. For example, Spain can probably lay claim to two (or maybe three, if you ask a Basque separatist!). This word, already in limited use, came to prominence in Fritz Lang’s classic 1927 film ‘Metropolis’. Doesn’t that suit places like London, Paris, New York, Rome and Sydney far better than using the same descriptor as for smaller cities that can be seen pretty thoroughly in a day or two from one of those open-top sightseeing buses that seem to be everywhere you go in the world? Indeed, will Chelmsford now get one? Chelmsford has no claim to be a Metropolis, but its success brings to a close a longstanding issue - that Essex was the largest county in England without a city. If you Google ‘which counties do not have a city’ a Yahoo answer wrongly identifies fourteen. In fact, there are ten, as four named DO include cities - Hertfordshire (St Albans); Huntingdonshire (which technically no longer exists and would, in any case, include Peterborough), Staffordshire (Stoke) and Wiltshire (Salisbury). The remaining ten are Bedfordshire, Berkshire, Buckinghamshire, Essex, Northumberland, Rutland (no surprises there), Shropshire, Suffolk, Surrey and Warwickshire. You can see why Reading and the other three named above - along with Colchester and Southend - were such strong rivals. The Queen bestows city status on a town at every significant anniversary in her reign. At the Silver Jubilee in 1977 it was Derby, in 1992 Sunderland and in 2002 both Preston all of it, I assume, and not just the North End part - and Newport became cities, although in the case of the latter, the football team still thinks it’s a County. This time there were 20 English towns (and 26 overall)
bidding, although Citizen was puzzled by two. Medway, in Kent, is actually an administrative area that comprises places such as Rochester, Gillingham and Chatham. Stand in any of those and ask directions to Medway City Centre - as one might in say, Preston or Sunderland - and I’d imagine you’d get some pretty puzzled expressions! Further research shows that Rochester was once a city - a status that initially passed to Medway borough when it was formed, but later an outgoing council neglected to appoint ceremonial Charter Trustees (whatever they are) to continue to represent Rochester, causing it to lose its city status - an error not even noticed until 2002. How clumsy! Surely they should expect to remain in the naughty corner for a few years yet. The other puzzling candidate was Tower Hamlets - a London Borough encompassing Brick Lane, Canary Wharf, Poplar and Stepney. Where exactly is the ‘city centre’ of Tower Hamlets? Citizen is aware that many of its commuting readers will work in Tower Hamlets and that these words may well find their way there, but surely logic suggests that if this had achieved city status, some or all of the other 30 or so London Boroughs would want it too? And anyway, doesn’t London ‘the Metropolis’ already includes two cities - the City of London and Westminster? Surely it shouldn’t be greedy? Hampshire - along with Kent and Essex, one of the largest counties in the south - has three cities in Southampton, Portsmouth and Winchester. Cambridgeshire - a much smaller county - also has three, including Ely, the third smallest in England. Yorkshire has no less than six cities and Lancashire three, excluding Liverpool and Manchester - both taken away to create the counties of Merseyside and Greater Manchester, although despite this, many residents still call themselves Lancastrians. Indeed, Lancashire County Cricket Club plays most of their matches in Manchester - apart from last season when they won the County Championship mainly playing in Liverpool. Essex, of course, played at Ilford and Leyton long after they had been hived off into Greater London and may even play Twenty20 at the Olympic Stadium in Stratford one day. Had Bolton - also in Greater Manchester - been successful, this would have destroyed one of the great trivia questions of all time: “Which is England’s largest town?” and led to a swift rewrite of a hundred Pub Quiz books. Nearer to home in Suffolk, Ipswich also applied. Had they won, like Swansea, the football team would presumably have needed to change its name from Town to City. Citizen would have to ask how the club that is in the record books as the only one to win the league at the first attempt - and which gave England its two greatest managers - could ever change its name from Town to City. This would also surely have confused those of their fans who use a particularly colourful bit of rhyming slang to serenade arch rivals Norwich CITY from over the border in Norfolk! It was therefore right that England’s newest City was in Essex - you could almost say it was ‘the only way’! In Citizen’s view, while it would have also celebrated victory for either Colchester (with Boudicca, the Castle and the original University in its corner) or Southend (with the longest pier, the Kursaal and its Golden Mile) Chelmsford (as the home of County Cricket, the County Council, a small boutique Cathedral, the Crown Court and birthplace of radio) was the right choice. Had the announcement of Chelmsford’s success come after Citizens original column had appeared, no doubt we might have echoed the famous Sun headline, “It was The Edge what won it.” However, Citizen strongly suspects that the Essex Chronicle might have had something to say about that! Citizen also salutes their efforts on the Town’s - sorry city’s behalf! The Edge 01245 348256
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Reach & Wash Cleaning System The principle of pure water lends itself perfectly to window cleaning. The traditional image of ladders, buckets and a dirty sponge has now been superseded by the reach and wash system. The reach and wash system uses a telescopic pole through which the pure water is fed to a soft bristle brush head at the end. The brush is then moved across the entire window, including the frame and sill, allowing the pure water to absorb and remove all of the dirt. The window is then rinsed thoroughly to leave a perfectly clear, sterile surface, which is particularly useful on upvc double glazing.
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Why use the reach and wash system? The system has great advantages as now all those hard to reach windows, perhaps three or four stories high and positioned above your conservatory roof, can be reached, not to mention the cleaning of the conservatory roof itself. Absolutely no chemicals are used and not only do the windows, frames and sills get thoroughly cleaned, your window cleaner has a much safer job! Seriously, going up and down a set of ladders all day long is tiring work and incredibly potentially hazardous. But with the reach and wash system, the cleaning is always carried out from ground level, making it a much safer process all round. Yet another advantage for the householder is privacy, superior cleaning, and no more annoying dents from the ladder in your lawn or flower bed. The reach and wash system is a win-win for the window cleaner and the customer, being quicker, more effective, environmentally friendly and far less disruptive than old fashioned techniques. For a friendly, reliable service, why not call (or text) Richard on: 07807 039 270 (or leave a message if unobtainable and he will gladly call you back).
Richard Goodbody of Diamond Bright The Edge 01245 348256
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Despite it’s idyllic village green setting, Grahams on the Green in Writtle is hardly the most attractive looking place on the outside, is it? But once you pass swiftly over the threshold, everything slots nicely into place and it really does come into its own.
On top of all that, the food was lovely, and whilst that’s mainly what you go for, the way The Edge sees it, it’s the overall package that’ll make you return again and again.
Strangely enough, I’d never eaten at G-O-G before (although the wife has on a fair few occasions), yet I felt immediately at home, such is their unusual (these days) attention to detail and the way they genuinely seem to go out of their way to look after you.
The wife and I opted for the 2-course midweek set menu at £18.50pp. My salmon, potato and dill fishcake with tartar sauce was delicious, whilst Mrs Edge’s Confit Duck Salad with sauteed mushrooms and a walnut dressing was probably even better (damn)!
I’ve mentioned on many occasions that my all time favourite Chelmsford restaurant has always been Bada (when it was spelt like that - when Barry and David owned it), but there are some definite similarities at Grahams.
Good starters definitely settle you down. If they’re only adequate, or poor, you’re on tenterhooks, dreading what might be served up next.
It’s all about the way you do things so far as The Edge is concerned - how you set your stall out. For instance, Grahams gets 10/10 for its place-mats. Now, who in their right mind would notice a thing like that, you might wonder? Well, little details such as that are important to your editor, clearly. Then there’s the exquisitely shaped, super-large wine glasses and the lovely drop of Italian red we had in them, served at the most perfect room temperature (important, that). Even the background music seemed to be at a considered level and all these things surely don’t happen by chance. It’s clearly no accident that Grahams is the way it is. www.theedgemag.co.uk
It was also pretty full for a mid-week evening as well.
What I particularly liked about Grahams was the fact I felt confident about the place’s high standards pretty much immediately. For my main course, being an ‘adventurous bloke’, I had the pan-fried rib-eye steak (ha!), but with new potatoes (instead of chips) in a reduced balsamic roasted shallots whilst my nearest and dearest had the chicken supreme stuffed with semi-dried tomato, goat’s cheese and pesto, croquette potato, tomato sauce and salsa verde. Both were delicious and full as we were, we managed to share an equally scrumptious chocolate & hazelnut brownie with vanilla ice-cream for dessert. Would I return?
SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL CHELMSFORD RESTAURANTS, READERS!
! great food, excellent service ! stylish environment ! family’s welcome ! large parties catered for
CHELMSFORD’S
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NOODLE BAR
01245 353899 ! 86-87 DUKE STREET CHELMSFORD W W W. Z E N C H E L M S F O R D . C O. U K
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Call: 01245 397 570 www.ddbsdata.co.uk
BEFORE
AFTER
In June 2011, I decided it was time to get the old me back, writes Claire Ellis. Not only was I unhappy with the way I looked after having two children, I had also been asked to be the Maid of Honour at my sister-in-laws wedding and I was adamant I was NOT going to be ‘the fat bridesmaid’! But I had absolutely no idea how I was going to achieve this. Then a friend mentioned to me she had heard of something called DNA Boot Camp and asked whether I wanted to go along with her for a FREE TRIAL session? Initially, I was very apprehensive about it, partly because of what I’d heard about Boot Camps and how it was very regimented and hardcore, and I just wasn’t sure I would fit in. But my friend didn’t want to go alone, so I agreed to go along anyway. At our first session, we were greeted by a friendly group of people of all shapes, sizes and abilities. I so enjoyed that first session that I really couldn’t wait to do another and another and another; I was pretty much hooked right from the off. There are many things I find great and uplifting about Boot Camp; from the incredibly friendly atmosphere and banter, the variety of the workouts (no two sessions are ever the same, unlike going to the gym, which I used to dread). The fact is, you never know what to expect next, which naturally means you never get bored or complacent. What’s more, both the support and encouragement the trainers give you is invaluable, especially if you find a certain type of exercise difficult. They always seem to be able to make things simpler for you if you’re struggling, but without compromising the workout. And, in time, you find that you can gently work your way up to achieving anything you want. Before I knew it, I was soon attending two evening Boot Camp sessions a week (there are morning sessions too) and today I regularly attend three sessions a week as well as running in between classes. If anyone had told me in back in June 2011 what I was going to achieve, I honestly wouldn’t have believed them. When I look at myself in the mirror today, I can actually see muscle definition (not to be confused with bulky muscles) in places I never knew muscles even existed. Although I was very happy with my new body shape - by the end of October last year I had dropped 2 dress sizes - I had not actually lost that much weight (even though I know that muscle weighs heavier than fat) so felt I also needed to address this. After discussing the matter with a DNA trainer, he asked me to list everything I ate and drank in a typical week. This I did and at the same time I also had my measurements taken, before being given my own personal nutrition plan (not a diet) to follow for 4 weeks. And four weeks later, what do you know, I’d lost 8.4lbs (7.5 inches) and also dropped another dress size! Today I have all my old confidence back - and more - and feel great and so very proud of myself. These days, instead of simply being a mummy, I’m on a fast-track to becoming a Yummy Mummy too! Contact Brett Bowen on 0773 447 0727
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Present this voucher to receive a
GOOD OLD PIE & MASH
Would you Adam & Eve it, Maldon's famous Pie, Mash & Eel house is under new ownership. The Edge popped down there the other week to have a butcher’s and was mightily impressed. This unique eatery is located down the High Street towards the cockney mecca that is Promenade Park. Keeping with the tradition of London's famous pie, mash & eel house's (as endorsed by David Beckham, amongst others), the tiled walls and hanging photographs of old East End scenes is an ideal setting in which to be served your traditional mince pie with liquor and mash, all made freshly and baked daily on the premises, served with jellied or stewed eels for the die hards! Also included on their menu are a variety of 'normal' pies including Chicken & Mushroom, once again all hand-made in the kitchen, which also serves up a mean Wicks Manor bangers & mash, along with an extensive kid’s menu. So, me ole China's, next time you’re in Maldon, why not take a look at this fine establishment and pop in for some proper hearty East End nosebag. And in case you need a little help with the lingo in there, log onto.... www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk afore you go!
www.theedgemag.co.uk
WASH, CUT & BLOWDRY all for
£22.00* CALL (01245) 346348 Walk in appointments also available.
* Offer available Monday - Friday 10am - 4pm * Offer valid until 31st May 2012 * One voucher per customer only * This voucher not to be used in conjunction with any other promotional offer * Subject to availability / selected stylists 6 Rainsford Road, Chelmsford, CM1 2QD. Tel: 01245 346348 We are just 50 metres from the County Hotel. LATE NIGHTS: Wednesdays & Fridays
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When did you last treat yourself to a full body massage? BUY O
NE
NE GET OE FREedicures
hP on Fis loatation and F py ’til Thera 2 30/6/1
Group bookings and parties welcome!
FLOATATION THERAPY FISH PEDICURE MASSAGE / FACIALS WAXING SPRAY TANNING EYELASH/BROW TINTING MANICURE / PEDICURE GEL POLISH Unbelievable Prices for Women, Men & Children! Single Treatments or Package Deals
With its dazzling backstage dressing room style mirrors and urban surroundings, from the moment you enter Rehab Hair Studio, you will be provided with an absolutely phenomenal service.
Fish Pedicures Floatation Therapy plus Beauty & Massage Therapy all under one roof in Moulsham Street. GIFT VOUCHERS NOW AVAILABLE!
177 Moulsham Street, Chelmsford, CM2 0LD. Tel: 01245 690 167
HAIR REHAB IS NOW OPEN IN CHELMSFORD RAILWAY ARCHES
Owners, world renowned master hairstylist Zak Menderin and his wife Naomi, have a combined 24 years in the hairdressing industry and over the years their work has appeared in fashion shows, photo shoots and numerous national glossy editorials. www.blissfulsoul.co.uk info@blissfulsoul.co.uk
Zak
Zak’s career began 18 years ago at the great Vidal Sassoon salon in London. He then furthered his knowledge to then become a Senior Art Director for many Toni & Guy and Lee Stafford salons, before travelling the world to look after the hair of many ‘A’ list celebrities. Zak specialises in precision cutting and with his artistic vision and impeccable attention to detail enjoys working with clients to tailor haircuts to their individual needs. A true master of his craft, Zak keeps up with all the latest hair trends as they appear fresh on the global scene.
Naomi
After working for numerous Toni & Guy salons as a Style Director, Naomi spent her last few years working for independent salons within the Essex region.
‘LIVE’ ENTERTAINMENT ON SELECTED SATURDAY EVENINGS - ’PHONE FOR DETAILS!
THANK YOU
Costa Coffee in Backnang Square, Chelmsford, don’t have to stock copies of The Edge every month for their customers to read/take....but they do. Costa are a massive corporation and rules are often set in stone at an exceedingly high level as to what the shopfloor workers on the ground both are and are not allowed to do. Do you see what The Edge is really saying here, readers? Costa Coffee - Thank You. Page 14
one of their individual clients.
Their handpicked talented stylists will also positively amaze you with their extensive knowledge of classic, but trend setting, haircuts and coloring. On entering Rehab, each client will be greeted and offered a variety of beverages and snacks by the salon manager. Then it’s a visit to the ‘Wash House’ which is a truly innovative concept; it is actually a private room where clients are pampered with soft lights as they are having their hair washed, whilst they can also indulge in one of the many ‘Out of Body Experience’ hair treatments available. Then it’s a matter of sitting back and watching the big screen whilst having your hair done, or alternatively you may wish to check in with your latest social media through Rehab’s complimentary Wi-Fi. The décor consists of an eclectic mix of industrial vintage furniture, Chesterfield sofa’s and modern vintage lighting. At Rehab, its all about rehabilitating your hair and creating that individual look....so why not stop by soon and see what Rehab can do for you? Arch 22, Viaduct Road, Chelmsford, CM1 1TS. Tel: (01245) 348787
She merges stylish sophistication with youthful vitality to produce a trend-setting creation each and every time she cuts. Apart from cutting and colouring, Naomi is known for her customised human hair extensions and ultra BIG blow dry’s! Together, Zak and Naomi have now dedicated their lives to the Rehab Hair Studio in the railway arches in Chelmsford to create the very best of looks that will be unique to every
Zak & Naomi The Edge 077 646 797 44
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‘DEAL’ on 50 iPADs Readers, are any of you interested in buying a new iPad? Would you like to save yourselves a whole chunk of money? Fancy a bit of a ‘deal’ for cash? The Edge can get you one as it recently came by 50 due to a cancelled hospital contract cos of government cutbacks. Half-price. First come, first served. The first happy buyer can be seen (below) with his very own brand new iPad, so you can see what you’d be getting and that everything is cushty and kosher.
For Christ’s Sake, Let ’Arry Coach England in the EURO’s
Then we’d ALL be happy, right? That way, ’Arry finds out whether he’s like the job full-time or not. The FA find out whether they’d like ’Arry to have the job full-time or not. The way The Edge sees it, everyone’s a winner....apart from England in the Euro’s....no matter who’s the bloody manager. You want this mag’s nomination? Steve Coppell, on a minimum ten year contract. Forget all the farting and fannying about and calling the England coach a vegetable or ridiculing him for trying to keep himself dry. Appoint the right man (ha!) and stick by the bugger. And that means Steve Coppell, even ahead of Arsene Wenger.
Timelessclassics 95’hideaway , 96’insomnia, 97’beachball, 99’sunisshining, 00’lady ,01’finally
www.theedgemag.co.uk
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LONDON SOUTHEND AIRPORT IS NOW OPEN!
London Southend Airport is finally taking off, with EasyJet flying 70 departures each week to the likes of Amsterdam, Alicante, Barcelona, Belfast, Faro, Ibiza, Jersey, Malaga and Mallorca. Passengers arriving at the airport have a simple and speedy start to their journey from the new light, modern and airy fly through terminal. It lies just under 100 paces from the new railway station and is connected by a wide, covered walkway. The airport is targeting a security process with a maximum four-minute waiting time. On arrival, passengers with hand luggage only will be able to process through to the train station platform in just 15 minutes from leaving their aircraft. The new train station offers up to eight services per hour both to and from London, a seamless link between the airport and the Olympic Park at
Stratford in just 44 minutes, whilst central London takes just 53 minutes. London Southend is the only UK airport with a direct mainline rail connection with the Olympic Games at Stratford. From May 10, a new daily route between London Southend and Dublin will offer Essex & East London travellers not only excellent access to Ireland’s capital, but also transatlantic connections to the USA. Three daily return services to Dublin with Aer Lingus Regional, operated by Aer Arann, will also offer passengers an easy and cost effective way of travelling to New York, Boston, Chicago and Orlando. With no other USA flights offered East of London, this means no more long and congested journeys
to Heathrow or Gatwick. Passengers will also benefit from the new US Customs & Immigrations pre-clearance facilities at Dublin Airport that will allow them to arrive in the US as domestic passengers, saving huge amounts of time and stress after a long haul flight With Aer Arann already operating up to 10 flights per week from London Southend to Waterford, 2012 is the year that London Southend Airport really takes off - not only as a modern, efficient regional airport, but also as a key player in the regeneration of Essex. Find out all the latest news and information from London Southend Airport at www.southendairport.com
“A Word About Lee”
Sometimes it’s worth reflecting on the value of star performers in our business. One of these is Lee McGoldrick. Lee first joined The Home Partnership five years ago and in that time, I can’t count the number of occasions I have noted his reliability, consistency and dedication to his job - and indeed our customers. Lee is now our Residential Sales Manager and our success in property sales of late is in no small part due to Lee’s skill, ability, proactivity, patience and care. It is often said that estate agency is more about people than bricks and mortar and this has always been our policy at The Home Partnership. However, Lee is simply ‘a natural’ and his easy-going and supportive approach puts people at ease from day one. High on integrity and performance, coupled with a sincere desire to help people move and a rare attention to detail - that’s a winning combination! What’s more, his painstaking “nothing is too much trouble” approach
means that we have continually delivered the results our clients have come to expect from an award winning agency. Lee has been pivotal in helping us achieve our aims both as a business and as a leader in our industry, and any of our clients who know him will surely agree that he exemplifies the highest calibre of professionalism, whilst delivering an enjoyable, personable approach. So, on behalf of our many happy clients, the company - and me personally - I’d like to say a very public thank you to Lee for everything he means to us here at The Home Partnership. Well done! Joanne Williams, Director.
The Estate Agent that works for
YOU!
www.thehomepartnership.co.uk 11 Duke Street, Chelmsford CM1 1HL Telephone: 01245 250222 Page 16
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YOUR letters
KNICKERS
Dear Edge, Here’s a photo of my 9 month old grandson (left), captured by his Dad in the bra & knickers section of our local Sainsbury’s supermarket, whilst Mum was trying on some post maternity underwear. My question is, does he take after his father, or his grandfather? Regards, Hugh Watt. Probably both of you! E.E.
&
emails
to theedge!
CHELMSFORD, CM2 6XD. shaun@theedgemag.co.uk PARKING FINE
Hi Shaun, I just thought I'd email to let you know that you shouldn't pay your 'parking ticket' from the Riverside Retail Park! (Someone else has probably already emailed to tell you this, but in case they haven't..). You need to do some reading online to get your head around it, but basically parking on private land is governed by contract law and they have to prove a lot of things before they can successfully take you to court to make you pay (which very rarely/never happens) and then it would only be for the
Page 18
SAVING FUEL
lost revenue. Their usual modus operandi is to send an invoice and/or official looking (threatening) letter to scare you into paying. If you just ignore them they will go away. Read this for the legal jargon which shows they would need to overcome a lot of obstacles to successfully take you to court: http://forums.pepipoo.com/index.ph p?showtopic=46975 And read this for some 'plain english' advice: http://www.moneysavingexpert.com /reclaim/private-parking-tickets which I believe also includes advice on reclaiming monies if you have already coughed up. This forum thread details the stages of letters you can expect if you do ignore their threatening letters (which you should): http://forums.moneysavingexpert.co m/showthread.php?t=2214803 That thread comes from the forum covering Private Parking Tickets which may be of use if you have issues: http://forums.moneysavingexpert.co m/forumdisplay.php?f=163 (as may the Pepipoo forum linked to above). However, I imagine that you've already paid, as so many people
do, but at least you'll know for next time. It may all change soon though, as Government is proposing to allow easier enforcement of private parking regulations: http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/bills/cbill/20102011/0146/cbill_201020110146_en_20.htm (starts at section 56) which is nicely summarised in the comments at the bottom of this page: http://www.echonews.co.uk/news/8 888532.South_Essex_MPs_back_c lamping_law_change/ ....but it's not law yet! Hope this helps! Paul. Seems like I’ve been proper ‘stitched up’ then! E.E.
BASILDON
Dear Large, What Basildon people do when it snows (see below). Quality! The natives down there are just like it says on the tin. Regards, Purchase. Nice one. I honestly think it’s a nice classy touch. Chelmsford surely needs such a sign (and complimentary snowman). E.E.
Regarding your scooter article (March Edge), you ought to check out Scooter Central in Braintree. I got myself a Tamoretti retro 125cc there last May for £955 and have been pocketing the weekly difference in saved fuel between that and my car. So far I have saved a tidy sum of £1,070 which should be up to £3,000 by the end of this year. Lovely! Anonymous text message sent to The Edge. That’s not my main reason for wanting to buy a scooter this Spring, but it’s definitely a sound bi-product of owning one. With all 10,000 copies of The Edge mag now regularly being snapped up in the very first week after being made available to Chelmsford’s sporting Joe Public, that now means there’s 3 weeks in every month when I could be pootering around to appointments without it being necessary to take the motor (and lug heavy boxes about). So yeah, to save money on otherwise extortionate fuel costs certainly seems to be a step in the right direction to me. Then there’s the fact you can park scooters easily and for free, and you rarely get held up in a tailback whilst on two wheels either (particularly approaching the Army & Navy roundabout along Princes Road in ‘rush hour’ which has become a proper bloody nightmare. So yeah, I honestly can’t wait to get one on two wheels. E.E.
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theEDGE
DVD review
THE INBETWEENERS MOVIE
Quite simply, if you liked The Inbetweeners on the tele (and The Edge has followed them ever since the very first episode), youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll like The Inbetweeners in this movie version because itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s literally just more of the same, only on a bigger screen (when it was released).....and theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re on holiday. The Edge absolutely loves these guys. Will McKenzie (Simon Bird) is the posh, techie, swatty, four-eyed one. Then thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Simon Cooper (Joe Thomas - in the yellow shirt - who your editor actually ever-so-briefly met in The Wheatsheaf in Writtle, of all places, a Christmas or two ago), layabout Jay Cartwright (James Buckley) in the red England shirt, and last but by no means least, lanky Neil Sutherland (played by Blake Harrison, and what a movie starâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s name heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s got). After finishing their â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Aâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; levels the lads go on holiday to Malia on the Greek island of Crete and end up staying in the scankiest lodgings in town. Straight off they meet 4 unlikely lasses in the resortâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s emptiest bar on their very first night out on the pull and it all sort of goes on from there. To be honest, the plotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s immaterial, but Neilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dancing is fantastic, as is his penchant for pulling â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;older donkeysâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (sorry, ladies). Everything leads up to a Boat Party on the final night of their hols and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all good, fun stuff, but I do wish it had gone on for an extra 15 minutes. And now what? The Inbetweeners began back in 2008. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve successfully completed three series. The boys are now all leaving Rudge Park Comprehensive. It appears Will and Simon are going on to Uni, but what does life hold in store for Jay and Neil? Can another series (or three) be created? Hopefully, of course they can. Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hoping at any rate. P.S. Watch out for Mr. Gilbert, Head of Sixth Form, at both the start and the end of this movie. He plays an absolute blinder. All DVDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hired from Blockbuster on Springfield Road. Tel. Chelmsford 269767
Friendship
Friendship between women:
If a woman doesn't come home one night and the next day tells her husband she slept at a friendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s house, the husband will immediately call his wife's 10 best friends, all of whom will vouch that she never slept at their house.
Friendship between men:
If a man doesn't come home one night and the next day tells his wife he slept at a friendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s house, the wife will immediately call her husbandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 10 best friends, 8 of whom will confirm that he did indeed sleep over on their sofa, whilst the other 2 will swear blind heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still there!
MOVIE )XOO\ Ă&#x20AC;WWHG EDWKURRPV VXSSOLHG DQG Ă&#x20AC;WWHG IURP ÂŁ3495.00 Bathrooms, Ensuites, Cloakrooms, Wetrooms, Shower rooms Building work, Heating, Plumbing, Electrics, Tiles, Flooring, Carpentry, Ideal Standard, NoCode, Aqualisa Hi-Qu, Bette, Kaldewei, 6KRZHUOX[ 0+6 UDGLDWRUV 0RQWURVH Ă&#x20AC;WWHG IXUQLWXUH )XOO\ Ă&#x20AC;WWHG NLWFKHQV VXSSOLHG DQG Ă&#x20AC;WWHG IURP ÂŁ3495.00 Building work, Granite, Lighting, Tiles, Flooring Appliances, Sinks and taps, Electrics, Wood worktops K Kitchens, Made to measure kitchens, Granite, Solid wood worktops, Franke sink and taps, Abode, Appliances
Lavenham . . . of all places!
)XOO\ Ă&#x20AC;WWHG DGDSWHG VKRZHU URRP IURP ÂŁ3995.00 )XOO\ Ă&#x20AC;WWHG ZDON LQ EDWKURRP IURP ÂŁ5995.00
The Edge has always thought of Lavenham in Suffolk as a typically quintessential medieval English village of a bygone era....until one of its readers sent in the photograph above. And theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not wrong either, unfortunately. GASH is in the Market Place and sells high quality knitwear in both lambswool and silk, as well as a distinguished range of linen clothes. Well I never. Fancy being a portrayer of both filth and smut, when all you really do is sell cardigans. Someone ought to report Elizabeth Gash to trade descriptions. I mean, fancy going all the way to Lavenham to â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;feed a horseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and returning with but a pully.
3OHDVH SKRQH IRU \RXU IUHH QR REOLJDWLRQ VXUYH\ DQG TXRWDWLRQ )ULHQGO\ SURIHVVLRQDO VHUYLFH /DUJH HQRXJK WR FRSH VPDOO HQRXJK WR FDUH Family run business
The Edge 01245 348256
Bathtub
&KHOPVIRUG 6KRZURRP 0DOGRQ 6KRZURRP 122 Byron road 1A Edward Bright Close &KHOPVIRUG Maldon Bathrooms and Kitchens Essex CM2 6HJ Essex CM9 5RU Tel : 01245 269778 Tel : 01621 859966 ZZZ EDWKWXERQOLQH FR XN
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ONLY JOKING! Nothing Happened
Old people have problems that you perhaps haven't even considered yet. For instance, an 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical examination. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.” So the next day, the 85-yearold man reappeared at his doctor's surgery and gave the doctor his jar back, which was as clean and empty as it had been the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, “Well, Doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing happened. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing happened. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left hand, but still nothing happened. So then she tried with her mouth; first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, but still nothing happened. Then we even called on Eileen, our next door neighbour, and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing happened.” The doctor was shocked to say the very least. “You asked your neighbour?”, he said with disbelief. The old man replied, “Yep. But none of us could get the jar open.”
Why?
TEACHER: Why are you late? STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
Birth Date
I was telling the new barmaid in my local about my uncanny ability to guess what day a woman was born, simply by feeling her breasts. "Really?" she said. "Go on then, see if you can guess my birthday?"
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After about 30 seconds of fondling her breasts she began to lose patience. "Come on," she demanded, "what day was I born?" I said, "Fookin’ yesterday, love."
Tic Tac
As I stepped out of the shower, my wife laughed and said that my penis looked just like a tic tac. I replied, "If that's the case, why does your sister still have bad breath?" That soon wiped the smile off her face.
St. Valentine’s Day
I booked a table for me and the missus as it was St. Valentine's Day, but it all ended in tears. She's crap at snooker.
Lotto Ticket
One day, the wife came home with a spectacular diamond ring on her finger. "Where did you get that ring?" I asked. "Well,” she replied, "my boss and I played the Lotto at work and we won, so I bought it with my share of the winnings." A week later, she only comes home wearing a long fur coat, doesn’t she. So I said, “Where did you get that coat?" She replied, "Well, would you believe that me and my boss won again on the Lotto, so I bought it with my share of the winnings." Another week goes by and this time the missus turns into our driveway in a brand new flame red Ferrari. Yeah, you guessed it, with her share of yet another Lotto victory. That same night, she asked me to run her a nice warm bath while she got undressed. When she entered the bathroom, she immediately started moaning and said there was barely enough water in the bath to cover the plughole. So I quipped, “Well, you don't want to get your Lotto ticket wet, do you?"
Ungodly Hour
Our ’phone rang at three in the morning the other night. The wife was spooked and said, “Christ Almighty! Who’s that ringing at this ungodly hour?" I said to her, “I wouldn’t need to answer it if I bloody well knew that, would I?"
School Bags
A mate of mine’s got twins and he fell in love with their school bags. Now he's bisatchel.
Seal
A seal walks into a club...
Coast
I went to see my doctor the other day and he said, “You should take a trip to the coast. The sea air’s great for the flu.” So I took his advice and do you know what, he was damn right. I was in bed all of the following week with the worst flu I’ve ever had.
Vengeance
My therapist reckons I’ve got a preoccupation with vengeance. Well, we'll see about that then, won’t we?
River Walk
Two Irishmen were walking on opposite sides of the river with no bridge in sight anywhere. So Mick shouts, “Hey, Paddy. How do I get over to the other side?” Paddy shouts back, “You’re already on the other side, y’daft eedyt.”
Passport Control
A tourist at Charles de Gaulle Airport was asked by Passport Control, “What is your nationality?” “German,” he responded. The officer then asked, “Occupation?” To which the Kraut replied, “No. Just visiting.”
Mexican Maid
A Mexican Maid asked for a pay increase. Well, the lady of the house was very upset by that so decided to discuss the matter with her. She asked, “Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?” Maria: “Well, Senora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increase. Firstly, I iron better than you do.” “Says who?” says the lady of the house. Maria: “Your husban’, he say so.” Wife: “Oh really?” Maria: “Secondly, I am better cook than you.” Wife: “Says who?” Maria: “Your husban’ again.” Wife (increasingly agitated now): Oh he did, did he?” Maria: “And turdly, I am better at sex than you.” Wife (really livid now): “So my dirty rotten scoundrel of a husband told you that as well, did he?” Maria: “No, Senora. Gardener did.” Wife: (Ahem) “I see. How much of a raise were you looking for exactly, Maria?
Happy & Sad
A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV programme about psychology which was busy explaining the phenomenon of ‘mixed emotions’. During an interval, the husband turned to his wife and said, “That is such an absolute crock of shit. I bet you can’t tell me anything at all that will make me both happy and sad at the exact same time?” His wife thought for as moment, before blurting, “Out of all your mates, you’ve got the biggest cock.”
Gay Friend
I asked a gay friend (no, not you, another one) what’s the best way to remove a condom? Do you know what he said? Do you know what his one word answer was? “Fart.”
Yorkshire Farmer
A farmer in Yorkshire sees a bloke drinking from his stream in the distance and shouts, "Ey up, cock. Tha' dunt want to be drinkin’ watta outta theer. It's full o’ hoss piss, sheep shit an’ cow dung.” The fellow stops, looks up and shouts back, "Sir, I am being from Pakistan, so can you please be speaking more clearly and slowly please?" So the farmer cups his hands to his mouth and replies, "IF....THEE.... USES.... TWO.... ’ANDS... ...THEE....WON’T.... SPILL....A....DROP." Now then, readers, I unfortunately had to think about whether you’d have the stomach for this last joke, on the grounds that it might be an ickle bit racial and what have you. But hailing, as I do, from Yorkshire (“Tha’ can alus tell a Yorkshireman, but tha can’t tell ’im much” - love it!), I spent numerous occasions in Bradford, where I naturally stood out, due to my light skin tone, so I’m going to allow it as I happen to think the egg yoke’s on the stereotypical Yorkshireman who hates ought that’s not born and bred in either Leeds, Harrogate, Sheffield, Barnsley or bloody Dewsbury! E.E.
All jokes published are supplied by Edge readers. Please send your ‘egg yokes’ to shaun@theedgemag.co.uk
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Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Trans, Alternative Dresser? Confused? Lonely? Looking for a night out with like minded people? If so, then Club Alternative is the place for you. At Club Alterative, they aim to provide a safe haven for all those who like a colourful and fun filled night out where you can be yourself without fear of embarrassment or ridicule. Their venue has a licensed, cosy chill-out lounge bar with food available at very reasonable prices. There’s also a large, separate disco hall for those who like to hit the dance floor!
you are. Release your inner beauty and join the gang at Club Alternative where ‘there are no strangers......only friends you’ve yet to meet’. For further event details please visit www.clubalternative.org.uk Or telephone 07709 162 682
The venue also offers changing facilities for those who may like to get changed on site. This is particularly welcomed by fetish dressers and cross-dressers alike who regularly attend on a monthly basis. However, although fetish dressers are most welcome, please understand that there is a strict ‘no play’ and ‘no nudity’ policy. At Club Alternative, sexuality and gender holds no bars, so feel free to express your diversity whoever
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Music Matters
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Edge reader Steve Austin & his missus at the Chelmsford Odeon.
Nowadays, walking into a music shop can feel like entering a supermarket, what with countless departments and members of staff so busy they seem to have forgotten their target audience - the musician.
But James Dace Music, with its new shop in Moulsham Street, has captured the authenticity of a traditional music shop perfectly, whilst staying completely up to date with all the latest musical equipment. They specialise in a wide range of well known branded musical instruments, accessories, sheet music and books, and offer sound professional advice with quality service guaranteed. Since launching in September 2011, JDM have happily and successfully met the requirements of the entry level musician, intermediate, teacher, school, college and professional performer. Their collection of guitars, orchestral string, woodwind, brass, keyboards and amps are most desirable, along with their wide range of accessories catering to all instruments across the board. When it comes to sheet music and books, JDM offer a highly diverse selection, ranging from Classical, Blues, Rock, Pop, Jazz, and Folk to World Music, Musicals, Opera and educational publications such as examination books and papers, and theory tutors for beginners to advanced. So if you are searching for a single piece of sheet music of any genre, their in-house sheet music download facility stores a massive
40,000 titles which can be transposed to any key or any instrument arrangement and handed to the customer within minutes. Other great services that JDM provide include their Ebay store, selling quality second hand instruments, along with their next day mail order delivery on all products from the main store. Families and students reluctant to spend lots of money on a new instrument can also take advantage of their short to long term instrument hire scheme, which proves to be far more cost effective in comparison to school hire. For the Solo performer, Band, DJ or venue requesting pro music equipment, the PA and Guitar Amp Hire is very popular and extremely competitively priced.And iIf you want tuition in guitar, piano, woodwind instruments, vocal coaching or assistance with GCSE coursework, their in-house music lessons take place from Monday to Saturday from 6pm onwards and are conducted by professional and qualified teachers. Finally, JDM’s highly recognised, in house instrument repair service delivers quality and dedicated workmanship specialising in guitar and stringed instrument set ups to woodwind and brass maintenance. This, along with the many other great services, makes James Dace Music an absolute life saver to any musician in Essex.
SIBERIAN TEMPERATURES at CHELMSFORD ODEON
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Dear Editor, My wife and I recently chanced our arms once again by returning to the Chelmsford Odeon for a matinee performance of ‘War Horse’, as featured in this publication last month. Being a fairly long film, we knew that if the Siberian temperatures in the screening room were similar to those of our previous visits, then we would both indeed be in for an epic struggle. Despite pre-show assurances from the Odeon manager that all of their theatres are checked for a ‘comfortable temperature’, the pair of us came out feeling absolutely freezing. In fact, we might as well have been in the trenches ourselves! I wonder have any other readers had similar experiences at Chelmsford’s one and only cinema? A few of my pals now go up to Cineworld at Freeport (Braintree) instead, where you can apparently sit in comfort without the need for thermal underwear, a pair of gloves, scarf, wooly hat and a hip flask. Bring back the Regent and the Select is what I say, although now I really am showing my age! Regards, 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin (yes, that really is my name!) Well, sir, the very top brass (and I mean those in the highest reaches, as opposed to the troops on the ground) at the Chelmsford Odeon don’t particularly approve of The Edge, on account of me ‘writing a very truthful synopsis’ of an ‘experience’ I encountered there many moons ago, and as much as I despise such an attitude and will happily take any opportunity offered to rattle their cages, unfortunately no, sir, I cannot say I have ever caught frostbite in there, despite also seeing a matinee performance of ‘War Horse’ in there recently. But as Billy Connolly says, “There’s no such thing as the wrong temperature.....only the wrong clothes.” E.E. www.theedgemag.co.uk
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I
n January 2011, a team was created by Dance & Cheer 49 (DC49) made up of a group of 14 aspiring dancers from The Boswells School, Chelmsford, of mixed ages, abilities and backgrounds. Primarily, the aim was to train in the style of ‘Lyrical Jazz’ in order to increase their versatility as dancers and enter small competitions throughout the UK. Yet within just a few weeks and under 10 hours of training, a twoand-a-half minute routine entitled ‘The Rose’ was created and ready to be performed at the ‘ICC Southern Regional Competition’.
financial impediments mean that they are still a long way short of their ultimate target. To cover their flights, transfers, hotel accommodation, minibus hire, entrance fees, kit and use of training facilities whilst over there, they are going to need approximately £1,050 per dancer. Unfortunately, to date, they have been turned down by a large amount of funders due to this prestigious event being held overseas.
This routine was warmly received by all of the spectators and judges alike and the team managed to gain 2nd place in their very first competition. After further training, the routine was entered into the ‘Future Cheer International Cheer & Dance Competition’ and amazingly, it was here that they were rewarded with the prize that every dancer can only dream about the chance to compete at the World Dance Championships in Orlando, Florida. In addition, the dancers have been asked to compete at the 'ICU World Championships' also held in Orlando. This event is Olympic themed in which just one team from each country competes in the hope of winning a Gold, Silver or Bronze medal.
Chelmsford Dancers to represent UK
These competitions, which run during 24th April 2nd May 2012, involve dance teams from all over the world, yet this is the very first time these Boswells School dancers have ever been invited to anything even remotely at this level and something they never imagined would happen after such a small amount of training and experience in this particular dance style. That’s why the dancers are currently undergoing intense training sessions in order to be able to proudly represent the UK at
such a very high level and are dedicating each and every hour to ensuring they improve and progress.
Now For The Ugly Bit: Undertaking a trip of this nature obviously has huge financial implications, so the dancers and their parents have been organising endless events and activities in order to raise sufficient funds. So far they have managed to raise just over £4,000 and although they are very proud of what they have achieved, the
Teenagers continually receive bad press, but these dancers are working so incredibly hard. They train endlessly, they all help each other out and they are all growing up to be happy, healthy, disciplined and positive individuals with real determination. Surely this attitude and behaviour is something that ought to be both rewarded and encouraged?
Some of the dancers have never even travelled abroad before, so not only is this an experience of a lifetime, it is also incredibly educational, as well as being a truly fantastic challenge. This dedicated team of young dancers are still looking for sponsorship and donations that will help them raise enough money to fund their trip. If anyone is interested in sponsoring or giving donations to the team, please contact Jane DixonHodge on 0772 556 8628 Written by Matthew Jones and Jane Dixon-Hodge
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I’M Spartacus! How many of you good readers are still tuned into the Spartacus trilogy? At first, I thought it was just your editor and Edge colonist Kingpin that tuned in, but now even he’s abandoned ship. To be honest, I don’t even know what channel it’s on (the wife records it) and this third series is sadly proving to be not a patch on the other two. However, I was watching it the other
way of one of me new builds, or constructing one of me high falutin barn conversions out in the country. Then there’s all that make-up to slap on and all those lines to learn.” But wouldn’t you rather be performing
Viva Bianca and JP in a scene from Spartacus: Vengeance
Is this John Price the builder, or Craig Parker the NZ actor?
night when it suddenly dawned on me what an uncanny resemblance there is between Gauss Claudius Glazer (NZ actor Craig Parker, 41, pictured below, who also played The part of Haldir of Lorien in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, so they tell me) and Chelmsford builder ‘Johnny Boy’ Price of Price Construction. Come on, readers - they could almost be brothers, right? “I’ve done a bit of acting, as it happens (sniff),” says JP, in an exclusive interview with The Edge over a builders brew (that’s anything with three sugars in it - yep, even in a cup-o-soup), “but it right gets in the
sexy Roman orgy scenes with a scantily clad Viva Bianca (28) than being pebble-dashed in Pitsea, The Edge wanted to know? “Listen,” says John, “....workin’ on site from mornin’ ’til night, that’s livin’ alright (that’s livin’ alright), then a pint with the boys in a bar full of noise, that’s livin’ alright (that’s livin’ alright)....” So you wouldn’t trade places with your alter ego Craig Parker then? “Don’t get me wrong, Craig’s a good lad and acting’s not necessarily just for sissies, but it‘s a builders life for me. Hey, make sure there’s three sugars in that, please, love!”
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Circular Strength Training Local (but Russian) girl Natalie has been practicing the Circular Strength Training (CST) system for about a year and is “well impressed”, so here’s a run down of its benefits:CST was put together by Scott Sonnon, one of the world's top martial artists, as a way to achieve peak performance free of injury. The underlying idea is to look at the human body as a whole. The system aims to free up and strengthen all possible movement patterns that the human body is designed to access (up/down, side to side, forward/back and rotation around each axis/direction). Training of the rotation patterns is the main feature, which distinguishes CST from conventional gym workouts with either machines of free weights, such as dumbbells or barbells. The form of free weight tool used in CST is a clubbell, which looks a bit like a baseball bat. The use of it relies purely on muscular strength as there is no ‘handle’ to rest on the bone and joint structure, like a dumbbell or a kettlebell. The movements happen more or less 360 degrees around the joints and the strength gains occur in the weakest areas first - hand, wrist, rotator cuff - so that annoying, all too common nagging injuries, are prevented. The comprehensive joint mobilisation warm up and compensatory movements after the the main workout also have a major role to play in injury prevention. “I work as a personal trainer and most people in my practice turn to exercise with the main overriding goal of losing weight and obtaining a trimmer body shape. One of the pleasant side effects of practicing CST is a more athletic, slimmer shape. Workouts are designed in a way where intensive work over 20-30 minutes (plus warm up and cool down) achieves adjustment in the rate the body burns fat over the next 48 hours (i.e. well after the exercise session has finished).” CST movements are multi-joint exercises involving practiNatalie cally all muscle groups, making them very efficient for weight loss. “As your fitness levels improve, the sophistication of movements will increase, resulting in better coordination and a varied fun routine.” Your cardio-health will also improve (without pounding the pavement or a treadmill for hours) - you only need to see someone puffing after a good CST workout for proof of that! Another reason to work with a CST instructor is they would never ask you to go where they haven’t been themselves. Certification involves a very tough fitness test called ‘trial by fire’ where one must demonstrate perfect technique with a set weight against the clock. “I am pleased to say that I am the only girl in Essex who has managed it so far and I would be happy to teach you locally,” says Natalie. “I am also happy to answer any questions and/or arrange for a demo. cst-essex@live.co.uk or 07963 557 049
shaun@theedgemag.co.uk
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HIGH FINANCE
We’re all painfully aware of the financial quagmire our country is mired in and, thanks to a couple of mentions in this very publication and, possibly, Jeremy Clarkson, you’re probably aware that the public sector is bearing the brunt of central government’s cutbacks and austerity measures.
Unavailable for comment due to his ‘shooting’ schedule You’re also surely aware, unless you’ve been living under a rock or you’re an idiot, that the financial situation of our European cousins is even more dire. But don’t worry, I’m not about to launch into a tired diatribe about the reasons behind it or our plans to get out of it as that poor horse has definitely been flogged enough times. What I want to bring to your attention is some of what is occurring on the continent that you might not have heard about. We all know about the massive cutbacks and resulting riots in Greece, as the birthplace of democracy drowns in a tsunami of public rage, kebabs and tzatziki, but you’re probably not aware of what the Spanish are up to. I’ve tried to look on the bright side of this financial meltdown where I can. It’s only when we’re faced with huge problems like this that humanity really starts to think outside the box, to look at the way we’ve always done things and finally question their validity. I’m not naive enough to think that there’ll be a global epiphany and we’ll all agree that perhaps a financial system based solely on the merits of greed is really a good idea, but I’m hoping we’ll see some radical ideas being floated that will make us stop and think, or at least do a double take. Luckily, the Spanish seem to be making a good start. Judging by some of the things I’ve read, we’ve got it easy over here. Spare a thought for the town of Moia in Catalonia, whose public services are so debt ridden they’ve announced they can’t afford to bury their dead anymore. OK, so I’ve had to put up with a pay freeze for the last few years, but at least I’m not tripping over corpses on the way to work. No, I don’t do that until I’m actually in the office (boom-boom!)
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ME & MY adamantium skeleton
dar and the ‘end of the world’. Let’s clear one thing up straight away. If you give any credence at all to this absolute tosh then you are, in scientific terms, ‘a f ing idiot’.
***
Yes, I know some of you probably do believe it, and if you do, then yes, my last sentence was aimed squarely at you. Please stop reading this article now before the incoming barrage of common sense makes your nose bleed.
The Kingmeister reports
the town of Rasquera really has come up with an innovative idea to raise some much needed cash. The local council of Rasquera have agreed to rent out land for local businessmen to grow marijuana on, a move stunning in both its simplicity and how much it’s sure to piss a whole load of idiots off.
You can spot public sector staff a mile off It’s not all doom and gloom and rotting cadavers though, as those wily Spaniards have managed to come up with a few ways to stave off financial disaster. The small town of Sodeto decided to pool their resources and enter the huge Spanish lottery ‘El Gordo’. This basically translates to ‘The Fat One’, so you immediately know it’s good. I don’t know why Camelot didn’t come up with something like that, but then again, they did originally have Eamonn Holmes presenting the shenanigans. The 250 cash strapped residents of Sodeto actually won ‘El Gordo’, sharing a prize of around £600 million, which apparently caused the rapturous farmers to ‘tear’ around the town on their tractors, and nothing gladdens the heart more than seeing screaming middle aged men doing doughnuts on tractors. We can’t all be that lucky though, so
I’ve spoken before about how we should stop being so bloody stupid and legalise drugs, so it’s refreshing to see a public body - that isn’t in Holland - putting aside their kneejerk moral reactivism and actually looking at the idea in the cold harsh light of day. Granted, I doubt this proposition would have got off the ground without the appalling economic mess they’re in, but this is what I mean about radical, ‘outside the box’ solutions coming into play. Will it work? Almost without a doubt. Not only will they be getting money from the land rental, but they’ve effectively cut local organised crime off at the knees, saving yet more public money because the police aren’t wasting their time chasing people growing pot. While I may be making a trifle light of matters here, I genuinely do hope to see more of this sort of thing going on. More people in and out of authority challenging our usual ways of thinking and proposing the outrageous and unexpected. While we won’t be seeing the death of capitalism anytime soon, if the mess we’re in actually makes us put the brakes on being so greedy and wasteful, then, maybe, just maybe, it will have actually been worth it.
DOOMSDAY (FOR IDIOTS)
The Mayor of Rasquera, about to shizzle his nizzle. Or something.
It’s only April, giving us a full 8 months until December, and yet I’m already sick to the back teeth of knob-jockeys rattling on about December 2012, the Mayan calen-
Obviously he’s a trustworthy source of information For those of you who don’t know, the Mayan ‘long count’ is an extremely well thought out and accurate calendar. Spanning several thousands of years, it ends on (supposedly) December 12th 2012. Obviously the logical assumption is that if the calendar of an ancient mesoamerican people ends, then naturally the entire world is going to end. This hypothesis is unfortunately called into question by the small fact that the Mayans never, not once, mentioned anywhere, ever, that the world was going to end on this date. This is what we in the trade of reason and common sense call a ‘fact’ (look it up) and should really put the stupid idea to bed right now. In case it doesn’t though, I give you Julius Ceasar, inventor of the leap year in 45BC. The inception of the leap year has actually slowed down the passage of time with the addition of the extra day in February every 4 years. Without leap years (which the Mayan calendar has no idea about), it’s actually already 2013, meaning the world should have ended some time last year. Nope, I didn’t notice it either. Still, if you’re really dead set on the world coming to an end on December 12th this year, then drop me a line and give me your bank details, please.
www.theedgemag.co.uk
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City Status
HAPPYEASTER from UNCLE EDGE KIDS! Yep, it’s a dog eating a Bunny Wabbit alright....there’s no mistake about that. And best of all, kids, Rover said, “Ruff, ruff, ruff!” which in doggy language means it tasted ooooooh so good, all that meat and blood and gore and stuff. Come to think about it, surely that ought to be the true meaning of Easter? The proper message? From your butcher, that is: EAT MORE WABBITS! Because we don’t, do we? Yet they’re such a stupid little creature that maybe we ought to just.... EAT ’EM? Kids should be shocked and scared out of their wits at Easter!
Hi Shaun, So what is The Edge’s take on Chelmsford’s city status? Will it make any difference to the man in the street? Will local amenities improve? Will our house prices double overnight? Will our Council Tax double instead? Will our council now get better funding to stop our roads looking like pock-marked teenagers faces? Hopefully it can only be a good thing for the great place in which we live. I have to say, when people (especially foreign people) used to ask about where I lived, I always used to mention that Chelmsford was the only town in England that had a Cathedral, only now I won’t be able to drop that little nugget of gold into the conversation anymore, so maybe you can suggest an alternative gem of information (I had heard rumours that Chelmsford has the busiest two platform station in the country?). Still really love the mag. I seem to have noticed it’s now available in a lot more locations than it used to be, although possibly I might be just imagining that. Best regards, Stuart Raven Marketing Director Chelmsford S’gotta be the comical rickety ‘fairground attraction’ (Big Dipper?) above our A&N roundabout, surely, sir? E.E.
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FIFTY...NOT OUT
by Steve Ward Decline and Fall Boris Johnson. Now there’s a name to conjure with. He’s one of those people who has a whole army of haters, yet somehow manages to float above it all with his amiable and eccentric persona. He could have come straight out of the pages of a PG Wodehouse novel as the daft uncle. The whole buffoon thing is almost certainly an act though, because if you catch sight and sound of him in a more serious moment, he’s clearly got a very sharp mind. That act hasn’t done him any harm at all though in his inexorable rise up the various ladders he climbs journalist, politician, TV personality. Anyway, all that is by way of introduction to some thoughts about the getting old, and the birth of a wonderful new phrase to accompany the process. We’ve got another diversion to go round first though. Boris, or BoJo as certain people have dubbed him, got himself into trouble a few years ago for writing that the inhabitants of the city of Liverpool liked to wallow in misery. He added that they seemed to actually encourage and enjoy anything that allowed themselves to be portrayed as victims. And if that sense of victimisation put them at odds with the rest of the country, even better. There was nothing they liked more than a touch of onedownsmanship As contemporary evidence of what Boris was getting at, witness the recent furore over Luis Suarez’s racist remarks to Patrice Evra. The incomprehensible Scotsman, King Kenny Dalglish, stirred the pot by refusing to apologise, sticking by his man and invoking the old ‘everyone hates us’ attitude to which Boris had referred a decade earlier. At least, Dalglish refused to say sorry until the American owners of Liverpool Football Club wrote an apology for him. You just knew it wasn’t all his own work because it was in coherent English and didn’t speak to the reader as if he was an idiot. Let’s be clear - in Liverpool he may be King Kenny, but the rest of the country thinks he’s a complete tit. At about the same time as King Kenny was making a fool of himself, a number of old cabinet papers from Margaret Thatcher’s years at the helm were Page 28
released under the 30 year rule. One of the more interesting items recorded Geoffrey Howe’s opinion that Liverpool was a decaying mess and full of such ghastly and unemployable people that it should be subjected to ‘managed decline’. And it’s here that admiration grew towards Maggie’s chancellor for inventing such a wonderful phrase. Managed decline. So now that the city has served as an introduction to this month’s theme of managed decline, we’ll leave behind Liverpool and all the scussies who sail in her. That’s because from now on the phrase managed decline will be used to describe the way some of us handle the aging process. We start off as super fit teenagers, and even into our twenties we’re completely indestructible and are going to live forever at exactly the same pace. Then, by the time we reach our thirties, little things are starting to be less robust. We’ve put on a few pounds. The hair has started to thin a bit. Hangovers appear for the first time. We note all these things, but by and large ignore them. Reality has still not taken a firm hold on our expectations. Our forties are where things change more significantly. The few pounds have become a revolting spare tyre, the thinning hair a full-on bald patch, and hangovers last all day. By now it has also started to dawn on us that we’re not getting any younger. We begin to realise that these ailments and physical defects will never get any better unless we do something about them. We might half-heartedly attempt to diet. The bald patch disappears into a fully shaved head, and alcohol consumption is moderated. Do you see what’s happening here? We’ve started to manage the decline of our own bodies. As middle age progresses, so various joints start to hurt more, especially those of us who’ve played any sport. Most of us drop the pretence that we will ever get into 32” trousers again and buy larger ones. We start to take vitamin pills and exercise a bit. By now, the decline is very definitely being managed by those who have some pride in themselves, and it’s taking up a lot of effort. But there are others who will not bother. They will shrug their shoulders, say ‘what can you do?’ and allow themselves to slip into something that is much closer to a gradual decay into old age than it is a consciously managed decline. Then there will be one final set of people that, as they get older, care not for the application involved in a managed decline. They don’t even have enough pride to do the gradual decay thing. No, they take an active role in hastening the process. Pies? Bring ‘em on. Booze? Loads please. Exercise? What the feck’s that? We need a phrase to describe these people as succinctly and wonderfully as managed decline or even gradual decay does. How about wilful destruction?
To comment on this article email: steveward2000@hotmail.com
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of those ultra sexy Mini’s themselves a run for their money....not to mention the Alfa Romeo MiTo, Fiat 500 and the Audi A1. Some of you may have noticed the DS3 in Pixie Lott’s Broken Arrow video - the first time a car has been ‘product placed’ in a British music video. Well, those crafty frogs... One of the DS3’s strongest selling points is the fact that buyers have the opportunity to seriously customise their car (check out the Citroen website for details) by mixing and matching body and roof colours, decals, and so on. The bottom line being you can even have some serious fun ordering your car. The Racing version (pictured) was originally introduced at the Geneva Motor Show back in 2010. It is the road version of Citroen’s rally spec DS3 R3 and doesn’t it look a treat? It does 0-62mph in but 6.5 seconds and has a top speed of 146mph, which is more than ample for belting it between the lights along Parkway. However, there are also plenty of sensible engine options to plump for, including your editor’s favourite: diesel!
Every now and then a car comes along that defies you not to take notice. Sometimes that’s not necessarily a good thing, but the more The Edge sees of the Citroen DS3, the more it is liking what it is seeing. Just look at it! Is that not an absolute belter of a ‘pocket rocket’, or what? All of a sudden, right out of the blue, as if from absolutely nowhere, Citroen seem to be designing some seriously nice looking cars, and the DS3 - in this publication’s humble opinion - is right at the very top of the tree. It’s a ‘supermini’ alright, capable of giving some
The Edge is just surprised, that’s all, for it doesn’t seem that long ago that Citroen were churning out some absolutely shocking rolling stock.... only suddenly, everything seems to have changed...for the better. What’s more, so far as small, compact hatchbacks are concerned, the DS3 appears to be the only one in its league that allows 4 adults to travel any reasonable distance in anything approaching ‘comparative comfort’. What does DS stand for? DSirable, could it be?
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COUNTY MOTOR WORKS EASTERN APPROACH, SPRINGFIELD, CHELMSFORD ESSEX CM2 6PN 01245 235050 www.countymotorworksalfaromeo.co.uk Model shown Alfa MiTo 1.4 TB MultiAir 135 bhp ALFA TCT Distinctive at £17,675 OTR including Alfa Red special paint at £425 and Alfa Giulietta 1.4 TB MultiAir 170 bhp ALFA TCT Veloce at £23,645 OTR including Ghiaccio White special paint at £490.Alfa Range Romeo of official MiTo and fuel Giulietta consumption range:figures Urbanfor26.2 the – 64.2 mpg (10.8 – 4.4 I/100km); Extra Urban 48.7 – 97.4 mpg (5.8 – 2.9 I/100km); Combined 37.2 – 80.7 mpg (7.6 – 3.5 I/100km). CO 2 emissions 177 – 90 g/km. OFFER SUBJECT TO AVAILABILITY WHILE STOCKS LAST, TO BEFORE FINANCE STATUS. 31 SUBJECT YGUARANTEES/INDEMNITIES MARCH BE REQUIRED. 2012. TERMS AND CONDITIONS MA APPLY. YOFFERS BE WITHDRAWN MA OR AMENDED WITHOUT PRIOR NOTIFICATION.APR ^0%REPRESENTATIVE HIRE PURCHASE AVAILABLE OVER A 3 YEAR TERM WITH A MINIMUM DEPOSIT OF 35%.WE WORK WITH A NUMBER OF CREDITORS TO PROVIDE FINANCE TO OUR CUSTOMERS,ALFA INCLUDING ROMEO FINANCIAL SERVICES, PO BOX 4465,YEARS *3 SLOUGH COMPLIMENTARY SL1 0RW. SERVICE PLAN OR 30,000 MILES – OFFER APPLIES TO VEHICLES REGISTERED BETWEEN 1 JANUARY TO 31 MARCH 2012.VICE SER PLAN INCLUDES SCHEDULED SERVICING ONLY OCCURRING WITHIN 3 YEAR PERIOD OR 30,000 MILE LIMIT,WHICHEVER OCCURS FIRST AND EXCLUDES WEAR AND TEAR ITEMS.THE SERVICE PLAN CAN ONLY BE USED IN CONJUNCTION WITH PCP,,APP HP OR A CASH PURCHASE.AIL RETSALES ONLY AND EXCLUDES FLEET CONTRACT HIRE AND PERSONAL CONTRACT HIRE.ATOFFER TIME CORRECT OF PRINTING.TERMS AND CONDITIONS APPLY.WEBSITE SEE OURFOR FULL DETAILS.
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fancies the idea, simply drop me an email as I always say you can never have too many friends, too many pairs of shoes, or too much wine....and what better way is there than to combine all three?
Rattle Those Pots & Pans
TOTALLY TRACIE Sex & Ooooh, Chelmsford City...
Chelmsford Girls - it’s time for us to put on those Manolo Blahniks and grab those designer handbags, because Chelmsford is now officially a city, thanks to Her Maj who, as part of her Diamond Jubilee shindig, has decided to honour our former little town with grand old city status. Oh yes, we are now officially ‘City Girls’. We beat Colchester. We beat Southend. And, best of all, we beat ‘Towie Land’ (Brentwood) hands down. Carrie Bradshaw, eat your heart out (shoes off). My only concern is where on earth are we going to find all of these Mr Big’s to fulfill our requirements?
According to new figures out this week - it’s now official, 8 out of 10 women do more housework than their partners (honestly, did we really need a survey to tell us that?). In my experience, men are pretty good at washing a few dishes and generally tidying up, but most do not even know where the washing machine is, let alone how to use it. But why is it that whenever a man does any housework, they seem to have an in-built need to give us women a blow-by-blow account of exactly what they’ve done and clearly expect us to thank them profusely for them picking up their own clothes or tidying up the mess they made in the first place? So, for the benefit of the 80% of women out there who find themselves in exactly the same boat as me, I thought I’d share this greetings card with you that I found in a shop the other day.
Dress For Less
My very good friend Lynnette, who is just back from a huge globetrotting holiday and is bursting full of ideas, recently threw a ‘Clothes Swap Party’ where she invited lots of her women friends to bring items of clothing they no longer wanted to her home, plus the obligatory bottle of wine or two. The idea being that we could all gossip (naturally) and swap our unwanted clothes and shoes and revamp our wardrobes amongst ourselves for very little or absolutely no cost whatsoever. What an AbFab idea, hey? Particularly when money is a bit tight as it is at the moment for us all. After a bottle or two of wine, everyone totally lost their inhibitions, the chit-chat and giggling positively flowed and everyone became fashion stylists, dressing each other with fashion parades and strip teases going on in Lynette’s very own front room! Women who had never met before suddenly became firm friends and I have never laughed so much in a long time. I ended up wobbling home in some mismatched ‘get up’ that would have even made Bjork tremble. Much better than a car boot sale! I can thoroughly recommend it as the best night out/in I have had in years and it’s such a fantastic way to meet new friends and let your hair down and get lots of new clothes at the same time. Honestly, it was like shopping without cash. Marvellous! So if anyone
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George turned off the vacuum and waited for his medal. Unless they invent a vacuum cleaner with a remote control, the chances of men ever doing the hovering will remain but a pipe-dream, I am sorry to say.
My Big Fat Belly
Spring is well and truly here, so it’s high time to do something about all those extra pounds that have accumulated over Christmas and the dark winter months, so’s we girls can all fit back into our little summer dresses. If you’re like me and you need a little bit of inspiration to help kick start the process, check out http://www.redbookmag.com/healthwellness/virtual-body-makeover Upload a picture of yourself, press a button and hey presto - you can instantly see what you’d look like 5lbs, 10lbs or even 20lbs lighter. I’ve printed out the picture and stuck it to my ’fridge door to help me stick to my diet. The only problem is, I should have printed out half a dozen more. One for the biscuit tin, one for the chocolate drawer etc. etc. etc.
Tracie123@aol.com
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