Balance on a long life’s journey together H arvey isn’t very sexy.
For him and his wife Delores, a night on the town usually involves sharing a fried fish basket for dinner at Captain D’s. If Delores doesn’t seem too full afterwards, Harvey will surprise her by pulling their old Buick into the Dairy Queen parking lot, as he does on this warm night in July. Ice cream always makes Delores smile. Harvey is happy, too. While Delores walks ahead of him, he finds a coupon in his pocket for $1 off any ice cream. It’s just two days before the expiration date. For 56 years, Delores and Harvey have spent their Friday nights dining throughout different buffet restaurants, and occasionally finding some good Chinese food. They no longer hold hands. Yet somehow, someway, their marriage continues to thrive. And so it goes. Through life’s ups and downs, they’ve maintained a steadfast love for each other. Their marriage isn’t as interesting as a Kardashian. Besides, they think a Kardashian is a type of plant they once saw at Callaway Gardens. Real relationships are tough. Oh sure, romances start with each person walking through La-La Land, but eventually it wears off.
I’d changed too much. It’s a whole lot of give and take. She probably will tell you I take more than I give, but I give her a new gown every Christmas and splurge on box of Russell Stover turtles at Valentine’s Day.” There are always two sides. Whether it’s deciding which lane to cruise along I-20, or making an important decision, it’s probably best to avoid the extremes. Love one another but make not a bond of love: “Always remember to keep it in the middle of Let it rather be a moving sea between the the road,” advised my friend Jim Albright of shores of your souls. Carrollton, who will turn 92-years old this year. “That way you can always steer left or right if Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. you need to.” Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Call it the yin and yang of life, just like salt and pepper. We know using too much or too little Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let salt can ruin a good recipe. And the same goes each one of you be alone, for pepper. If we can’t find balance, trouble Even as the strings of a lute are alone though may be lurking. they quiver with the same music. “When we got back from our one-night honeymoon from camping at Lake Weiss, I went fishing the next day,” said Harvey. “Delores didn’t seem to mind at first. So I decided to go fishing for the next four days. That’s when she decided to reel me in, just like I do when I hook a big catfish. “Oh sure, I still fish—just not every day,” continued Harvey. “And she still goes to her needlepoint class every week to hang out with her lady friends. Here we are 56 years later, still married. I guess I need to send her some flowers.”
“I remember before we got married, Delores never complained about the way the toilet paper roll was positioned,” said Harvey. “But In his book “The Prophet,” Kahlil Gibran may once we said ‘I do,’ that changed. I turned that have summed up the secret to Harvey and toilet paper around the way Delores liked it. And then she found a thousand other things for Delores’s marriage when he wrote: me to change.” But let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between “Did you change all of the other things?” I you. asked. “Heck no,” replied Harvey. “We’d be divorced if 8
West Georgia Living
September/October 2014
JOE GARRETT
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow. As Delores and Harvey realize their clocks are ticking, they’re at peace knowing they’ve weathered the ups and downs of a marriage that hasn’t always been perfect. But in the end, Harvey still loves to buy Delores an ice cream on Friday nights. Thank God for coupons. WGL Garrett is a Carrollton resident and businessman. You can read more of his columns at joegarrett1. wordpress.com or contact him at joe_garrett@ bellsouth.net.