i ng & L ee d s >> R e a d i ng & L ee d s >> R e a d i ng & L ee d s >> R e a d i ng & L ee d s >> R e a d i ng & L ee d s >> R e a d i ng & L ee d s >> R e a
h ere
to
h elp
Heading to a festival can be problematic at the best of times. Believe us, we know. So, to help you prepare for any impending disaster that could try to ruin your weekend, we’ve posed a load of festival-related problems to Bastille’s Dan Smith. We cannot be held responsible for any bad advice offered.
As you arrive at the festival to put up your tent, you realise that you’re a few pegs missing. Go ask the people next to you, and hope that they’re not bastards. Or, maybe just have a little wander and if there’s a particularly fancy tent that’s weighted down, you could borrow a couple. Or! Just go without. You’ll be fine. If it’s not windy, you don’t need to peg it down. The guy ropes are just a bit of wasted material anyway. You’re desperate for a wee, but stuck in the middle of a Main Stage crowd watching Eminem. You don’t wee into a cup and throw it because that is fucking disgusting! If you’ve got a bottle with a sealed lid on it... that’s maybe a possibility? There’s no real way to answer this question without sounding either disgusting, or a bit weird, other than going to the toilet. It’s raining and your tent (minus pegs) has washed away. It’s pitch black because those darned fairy lights in the campsite aren’t working. I’d go home! Take it as a hint that someone doesn’t want you to be there, and go home! I dunno - maybe head back into the festival and find somewhere to sleep? Or, if you’ve got friends there, it’s boringly obvious to crash in your mates’ tent. If you can find them - I forgot about the light situation! Just keep wandering and see what happens. Hopefully, it’ll sort itself out. It’s a really windy day and you’ve run out of your trusty hair gel. You’re a little bit worried about heading outside, but your favourite band are about to start. I would just go anyway, and risk the hair. Or put a hat on. I wore at hat for most of Glastonbury because my friends were like, ‘You need to wear a hat’. So, I did to save them any embarrassment, but the hat that I chose to wear was quite embarrassing anyway, so that showed them. You got a bit carried away with moshing and fell in a big puddle of mud. One of your friends offers you their onesie. 42 thisisfakediy.co.uk
I guess you’d take it? You could kit yourself out in really overpriced merchandise, but then, I don’t know many bands that sell, like, jeans. Oh man, just take the onesie. Don’t be so self-conscious, take the onesie! The ultimate disaster: your welly has a hole in it. Oooh, that is a disaster. Just succumb to the inevitable trench foot and get on with it. Be happy that one foot is nice and dry, because some people don’t have any wellies. Just suck it up and get on with it! I’m quite unsympathetic in these scenarios, it turns out. N M E / BBC r a d i o 1 s tage LEE D S : F RI 2 3 REA D IN G : SUN 2 5