The Wasp - Volume II Spring 2016

The American Studies Center Student Journal Volume II | Spring 2016

Ask Not What You Can Do For Your Country.

Ask What’s For Lunch.

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ALEKSANDRA BARCISZEWSKA Editor-in-chief PAULINA NIEWIADOMSKA Art director Illustrations: pages 8, 17, 19, 30 NATALIA OGÓREK Associate editor AGATA KLICHOWSKA

The next issue’s theme:

Editorial board

Don’t Judge a Book by Its Cover MAŁGORZATA DUDO Illustrations: pages 25, 33, 39 MAGDALENA KRZEMIŃSKA Cover image KAMILA MARIA WYSZYŃSKA The Wasp logo Illustration: page 12 DOMINIKA GROTEK Illustration: page 22

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We’re still recruiting! If you’re interested in writing for the Wasp, please contact us: thewaspjournal@gmail.com ASC Journals: https://www.facebook.com/ascribbler A SCribbler: https://ascuw.wordpress.com/ American Studies Center: http://asc.uw.edu.pl/

Your Home Is Where Your Stomach Is – Editorial Notes Paulina Niewiadomska | Aleksandra Barciszewska

Why Don’t We Pose the Right Question?

Marta Natalia Giers

Devouring Distinctively Adam Radomski

Victims of Consumerism – Will We Ever Be Satisfied?

Nadia Błaszczyk

Have a Coke and a Smile Julia Mardeusz

Children of the Corn Dominika Grotek

#RIPSallyStewart Małgorzata Dudo

Women’s Day Dominika Kowalska

With the Nope on Your Throat Aleksandra Barciszewska

Inaugural Address Adrian Wesołowski

4 8 12 16 19 22 25 30 33 39

Paulina Niewiadomska

4 The WASP

Aleksandra Barciszewska

Your Home Is Where Your Stomach Is

This month’s theme is a nice spin on John F. Kennedy’s famous line, which we all know, thus it is not necessary to repeat it. The sarcastic twist on the plea for social mobilization comes from someone who was a master in many fields, and some of you might even be familiar with his masterpiece, Citizen Kane. Some, because apparently there are still some (any Americans in here?) who are too cool for rosebud. Was Welles right? Should we be only focused on our stomachs and simply not engage in making our countries better? Mr. Welles?

Certainly some Americans adopted this way of thinking, and one proof is an astonishing percentage of obesity in America. Yet, how come America is still one of the most patriotic nations, and local politics thrive like nowhere else?

Perhaps having one’s eating desires fulfilled contributes to making you a better citizen. After all, when you’re full, you’re also full of new energy that has to be transferred someplace else. And one place could be this patriotic duty expressed in political engagement. If this is true, let’s eat more! And make our Polish (American as well) right-wing politicians eat less.

In this issue we will largely ignore the political meaning of the theme, and we will focus on food. For food is, whether we want it or not, more tangible and graspable than some horrifying Other, which politics is for the majority of us.

The article of the month by Marta Natalia Giers will ponder on how we should formulate questions when we want to talk about sexuality, and she will also give you some crucial tips on how to play chess. Later on, we will get some cereals, drink some Coke, eat some stereotype-free piece on Middle-Eastern cuisine from the Airbnb menu, taste some gender, choke on consumerism, bite into some notness, and digest on how some artists can inspire people (especially when they die). Get a fork and a knife, and let's go!

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7 Volume II Spring 2016

Why Don’t We Pose the Right Question?

Marta Natalia Giers

Let’s play a game. Chess, to be precise. You have a number of pieces of different functions and values. If you have not played yet, the placing of those pieces may mean nothing to you. That is why you start asking questions – in order to know the rules.

After some time you learn that, for instance, you cannot capture the king – you can only mate it; that you should not exchange the queen for a rook because you will lose 4 points and your position will be much weakened, or that you can move a bishop only on diagonal squares. And these are only the basics. You learn also that you need to develop your strategy, try to notice the weaknesses of your opponent, look at a couple of moves forward, and see that every choice you make has consequences. You start to realize that in order to play a good game, you should know about it as much as possible.

Now, let’s transfer such way of thinking into real life situations. Very often the way of solving them does not differ much from the way of analyzing positions present on the chessboard. You have questions to ask, choices to make, and results of those choices you should expect. Neglecting any of those stages may leave you miserably lost. And you do not want to lose – you need to try your best in order to win.

Also by exploring the subject of human sexuality, it is noticeable that certain rules apply to it. However, this particular matter may be perceived so subjectively that it can be difficult to actually recognize any standards

attached to it. Very often choices for sexual expression are motivated by an individual belief system. For instance, in ancient times the forms of sexual expressions were very much inspired by the practices of the deities people believed in.

Gods of ancient civilizations almost always engaged in sexual relationships with one another, or with human beings. God Osiris, for

example, had sex with his sister, Isis; Krishna engaged in sexual relations with both males and females; and Zeus could cheat on his wife, Hera, by sleeping around with women to beget demigods (Knotz, 2001, 27).

Subsequently, people imitated similar behaviors, and their beliefs determined what was permissible. One of the most shocking and cruel practices in ancient Rome (from current perspective) was raping women by bulls as a form of mass entertainment. Contemporary people saw it as something moral and legitimate because they believed that if gods found it appropriate for bulls to

8 The WASP – Volume II Spring 2016

Marta Natalia Giers have sex with women, it was therefore allowed (ibid., 29). We can only imagine what revolution Christianity brought to those folks when it proposed completely different ideal of sexual practices – between married, faithful, and loving-one-another people who, instead of abandoning their offspring, took care of it. And also, those Christians motivated their choices for sexual expressions by what they believed in.

Unfortunately, the fact that you believe you’re making a good move on a chessboard does not have to indicate you will make a good move. When you’re standing in front of the choice which piece to use to make a move, you have to think a couple of moves forward. You have to take possible variants into account, and you should predict how your opponent is going to respond. Nevertheless, you cannot predict everything. Sometimes you just have to take a risk and hope for the best. Just like Alfred C. Kinsey did in the 1940s and in the 1950s. His surveys on sexual behaviors of Americans revolutionized science, law, education, and people’s minds. Some considered him the pioneer in the field, the others condemned his work as adversely affecting Judeo-Christian morality (Bergman, 2006, p. 111). His “move” had a huge impact on culture.

But how to judge objectively whether it was actually a good one? Well… Only by the results. Kinsey claimed, for instance, that women should engage in premarital intercourses in order to adjust socially and emotionally (Reisman and Eichel, 1990, p. 3).

Whereas surveys made by the Heritage Foundation and National Survey Family Growth between the years 1995 and 2008 proved that there is a correlation between the number of

woman’s premarital sexual partners and the stability of her first marriage (“Promiscuity Data: Guest Post,” 2012).

The more sexual partners a woman had, the more probable it was for her to eventually get divorced. In that respect, having just one premarital sexual partner, who did not later become a woman’s husband, increased her chances of divorce or separation to almost 50%. By contrast, women who entered their marriages as virgin brides, had less than a 15% chance for getting divorced (ibid.). Moreover, it was also Kinsey’s findings that led to the revision of Model Penal Code in 1955 which “privatized sexual morality” and allowed for “adultery, unmarried cohabitation, and homosexual relationships” between consenting adults (Bancroft, p. 5).

David D. Friedman, the author of the book Law’s Order: What Economics Has to Do with Law and Why It Matters, saw it in the following way: Laws making sex outside of marriage illegal improve the bargaining position of women who want to get married, or stay married, or to maintain a strong bargaining position within marriage. Hence it is rational for women to support such laws. It may also be rational for some men to support them… A longer-term result of access to sex without marriage may be a partial breakdown of the institution of marriage. If, as seems to be the case, children brought up by two parents end up on average as better people, more valuable trading partners and fellow citizens, than children brought up by one, preserving the institution of marriage may be desirable for men as well as women (Malcolm and Naufal, 2014, p.

4).

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Why Don’t We Pose the Right Question?

Of course, not everyone has to perceive marriage as a priority. It has become an option which is not only postponed but also undesired.

Nevertheless, it is rather difficult to neglect the conclusion that the institution of monogamous marriage was created for women primarily – for their and their offspring’s greater financial support, safety, and wellbeing. Men tend to avoid such responsibility if they can (“Economics of Sex,” 2014). So, we could also assume that a person who urges women to be sexually liberated ignores some serious aftermath. But let us affirm that Dr. Kinsey believed he was making a good move by revealing his work to the public. He might have skipped some ‘variants,’ but predicting how human’s life is going to turn out only by pure logic can be a bit difficult, also for a prominent scientist. Sometimes life takes such unexpected turns that, looking at it from a hindsight, one admits that they would never be able to even think about such possibilities. Same with the game – you may skip one variant and the whole concept you had in your mind is destroyed. Nevertheless, there are some ways to increase the chances for a good performance.

First of all, a good preparation is the key. When sexuality is taken into account, people have the tendency to take certain information for granted, without doing much research on the subject. Consequently, such approach handicaps the ability to make conscious choices. And the more we know, the better decisions we make. In chess as well as in life. Second, know your enemy. It is much easier to win when you are aware who you are playing with. Taking time in getting to know the strengths and the

weaknesses of your opponent may increase your chances of being successful. Moreover, it prevents you from underestimating them and keeps you focused. It would be also rather unwise to believe that the enemy won’t take advantage of your ignorance.

Third, notice the beauty of it. Chess wouldn’t be so enjoyable if it was not the beauty you can discover in it. And the more you can discover, the more delighted you are. Same with sexuality.

It is a gift which, only when explored deeply, allows for understanding its uniqueness. Also, it is impossible to understand it properly if you remain on the surface of information. It is worth to take time to learn about it more.

On the other hand, life is not a game. Sometimes remembering to apply the theory into practice may be really difficult, especially when strong emotions are taken into consideration.

It’s not easy to control them.

Moreover, it is also not the purpose of this article to make you paranoid about obeying rules for fear of making irreversible mistakes.

Sometimes erring is necessary because it allows you to notice certain faults and makes you work on them. Nevertheless, it is crucial to realize that sex is of a much greater deal than it is widely believed.

Its bonding and addictive function facilitates two people to stay together for a lifetime. There is a famous proverb which says that it is practice that makes you perfect. Well, you can become a true virtuoso only by playing one instrument.

Of course, you don’t have to follow my way of thinking. You can keep questioning the point of putting sexual behaviors in the context of specific rules which were not made by you. But it’s like asking why you

10 The WASP

Marta Natalia Giers cannot make two moves at one shot.

It’s pointless and won’t bring you any further. And it should be in your interest to ask those questions which will stimulate your personal development and help you in making

good moves. That’s why I challenge you – why don’t you pose the right question?

Bibliography:

Bancroft, J. Alfred C. Kinsey and the Politics of Sex Research. The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction, Indiana University. Retrieved from http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/publications/PDF/Bancroft%20Kinsey%20and%2 0Politics%20of%20Sex.pdf Bergman, J. (2006, December). Kinsey, Darwin and the sexual revolution. Journal of Creation. Vol. 20, Issue 3.

Economics of Sex. (2014, February 14). The Austin Institute. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cO1ifNaNABY Knotz, K. (2001). Akt Małżeński. Szansa spotkania z Bogiem i współmałżonkiem. Kraków: Wydawnictwo „M”.

Malcolm M., Naufal G. (2014, November). Are Pornography and Marriage Substitutes for Young Men? IZA. Discussion Paper No. 8679.

Reisman, J.A., Eichel, E. W. (1990). Kinsey, Sex and Fraud. Lafayette: Huntington House Publishers.

Promiscuity Data: Guest Post. (2012, March 28). The Social Pathologist. Retrieved from http://socialpathology.blogspot.com/2012/03/promiscuity-data-guestpost.html

11 Volume II Spring 2016

Devouring Distinctively Adam Radomski

How could someone aged 28 transform the capital of NATO and of the entire EU – namely Brussels – into the most tolerant and most culturally diverse city in the world? Oh, and do so in the midst of the barbarous 21st century!

This story begins on an airplane. Thanks to my wealthy parents I was granted the luxury of traveling across the Atlantic every now and then, but best of all, I was up there in the first class with the elites; or at least that’s what it seemed like at first.

My perspective of first-class travelers changed when I heard two people in front of me arguing how the meal seemed flavorless. It was hard to ignore. We were over 32,000 ft. above sea level in seats which recline 180°, drinking free and unlimited

champagne in crystal glasses, and having our in-flight meal served on actual porcelain. Wait, wait, wait. The sole fact of being 32,000 ft. above sea level is fascinating enough. But no, these rich, spoiled bastards couldn’t refrain from criticizing the food.

This event took place before landing in New York City at 8:50 in the morning of September 11th, 2001. Our wheels touched the landing strip roughly 4 minutes after flight 11 crashed into the first WTC tower, and 13 minutes before another plane struck the second tower. Being forbidden from crossing the bridges, my parents and I stayed in the Brooklyn area for the night.

The upcoming days were filled with fog, stench, sadness, fear… but in the middle of this havoc some New Yorkers had the strength to look deep

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Adam Radomski into your eyes and form their lips into an honest smile. They must have been happy to see somebody who was alive, even if that someone were a total stranger.

The following days were filled with contemplations. What if? I was lucky to be alive, lucky to have my parents around, but the violence that took place in the Big Apple brought a melancholia powerful enough to make me blind to that luck. It was everyone else I was concerned about, and a question in need of answering kept thundering in my mind. Why? Later on in my life I moved to Brussels. The years began passing by calmly, but it’s amazing how over one night such tranquility can be shred into pieces. As I was falling asleep my phone emitted a notification sound.

Normally, I would say to myself that I’d check it in the morning, but something pulled my arm out to look at it before going to sleep.

New York Times: 137 dead in Paris bombings.

Insomnia took over for the rest of that night.

Only four and a half months later, as I was gradually becoming more hopeful of a secure Europe without terror, my city of Brussels was struck. Two bombings at the airport, one in a metro station. Then came a report informing that the attacks were smaller than planned, taking 30 lives instead of 130. Another report claimed that the bombs contained not only TATP explosives but also metal nails and bolts to pierce through the bodies of victims. Shortly after learning that and telling myself that it can’t possibly get any worse, 72 people died in a bombing in Pakistan, out of which 29 were children.

No… I wasn’t sad anymore. I was fucking pissed, and sadness seemed more distant than ever. But as much as this fury covered up my despair, it did not take away my fear.

Ever since the attacks on September 11 I felt more threatened than ever before. But after the terror impaired Europe, this feeling of fear grew to unprecedented levels. Society in the EU was not raised on the same principles of tolerance and acceptance as the American society, which is why deciding to post my house on Airbnb, with a profile photo of my fucking terrorist face was like pleading for suicide. In many respects, it was exactly that.

Ever since it came out, Airbnb seemed to me like a very bad idea.

Sure, marketing did make it sound pleasant. Accommodate a stranger for the night, cook for him, talk over food and wine, wake up and eat breakfast, be his local guide. But on the other hand, what was the guarantee that you won’t get mugged, or stabbed, or raped? Especially in such demonic times. But I just couldn’t care anymore.

On the streets people looked at me with suspicion, as if I was about to blow something up, while I myself saw terrorist attacks in dreams and woke up sweating, shaking, and on the verge of hysteria. Then I began thinking about the entire Muslim community seen by the rest of the world as a global threat. The worst part about it was that this view of Muslims played into the hands of the Islamic State, whose goal was presenting Europeans as filthy creatures in order to ultimately obtain new recruits.

Amid all of this I began feeling as if each consequent second could be my last. If I was to die, I would do it by

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Devouring Distinctively doing what I love – putting a smile on people’s faces. But the big question was whether this was possible.

My journey commenced on that romantic note, and I opened my door for a complete stranger and made him a simple dish – spaghetti. We talked a while before heading off to bed. On the following morning, over a cup of coffee, I told him which attractions he must see in the area. Surprisingly, this was how most visits went by. Not a single racist remark, nor any signs of aggression. The bizarre peace was questionable. Each person who visited me was sympathetic and kind, and having discovered that, I decided to step it up a notch.

At first it felt like crossing the boundary of what society accepted as tolerable, but I decided to take that risk. I set up the stereo to play MiddleEastern music and decided to give it all I’ve got to make the most authentic Middle-Eastern dish.

First up I served Za’tar potatoes. My guest dug into his plate.

The anticipation to see somebody’s reaction has never been higher. He looked up, smiled, washed his mouth with some wine, and said: “Jesus! This is delicious!”

I froze in awe.

I decided to continue this pattern, inviting people for the full Muslim package. The effects were jawdropping. Airbnb members began contacting me to book nights, which forced me to buy a notebook to keep track of all the reservations. I had no idea what was going on. The reviews about my accommodation went through the roof.

Aatif Javed is the star of Airbnb!

He treats guests on the highest level.

His cooking deserves a separate review (as well as some sort of culinary

promotion) but let me just tell you to ask him for the fried eggplant with tahini and pomegranate seeds.

Photos of my cuisine brought me Insta-game, and more comments began pouring in on Airbnb.

If you’re looking for a place to stay in Brussels, there is no better accommodation than the one Mr. Javed is offering. After eating a savory meal we listened to some vinyls. As luck would have it, I had my vinyls in my luggage and we shared our musical preferences over Mr. Javed’s special drink: the Ras El Hanout Margarita. I’m looking forward to coming again ASAP! Thank you for the experience, Mr. Javed.

Yes, the “Stairway to Heaven” single, possibly the rarest Led Zeppelin vinyl out there, was gifted to me by Jack before he set off back to London in the morning.

“I love sharing British music,” I remember Jack saying “so this one stays with you.”

When I closed the door behind Jack that morning, and placed the needle down on the “Stairway to Heaven” single, I knew exactly what needed to be done. Breaking my barrier of fear, letting strangers into my house for the night, and sharing my traditional values with them; it all led up to this.

After a couple of meetings and calls and public appearances, I passed on my experience of taking something private; memories, family traditions, culture, religion; and making it public.

After my recognition, I started my own non-profit bazar where people from different cultures opened their very own locales. There was one important rule that had to be obeyed: the locales had to be authentic. And that they were, with traditionally

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Adam Radomski dressed waiters, local rhythms and art, and most importantly, sui generis tastes.

The second non-profit was a global ceremony where once a year people were welcomed to share what made their backgrounds distinct.

My work was officially finished when this concept began snow-balling on its own. Society began cooperating on an enormous scale, by enchanting agriculture and making it chemicalfree to grow more organic products, and even by gathering together to invent new forms of sustainable energy.

Who could have thought that a bit of culinary skills blended with openness and topped with a dash of pride could focus the global community on common goals?

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Victims of Consumerism – Will We Ever Be Satisfied?

Nadia Błaszczyk

A couple of days ago I decided to go to the shop to do some morning grocery and prepare a “breakfast of kings.” I bought plenty of products and started to think what I should cook. When I came back home I made pancakes with fresh berries and bananas, and a cup of coffee. Yes. I know. Sounds delicious. However, while eating I started thinking that maybe I should add something to my pancakes, maybe I should have bought maple syrup? Maybe I should have brought more fruits? I realized that even though I really tried hard to make a good breakfast, I was still looking for something better, I was not satisfied with the results. My “perfect breakfast chase” helped me to see that this is our human trait, that no matter how much we have and how much we succeed, we are always chasing something better, we always want more and more. Without exceptions, we all turn out to be the victims of consumerism.

We live in the world where on every corner we are exposed to numerous advertisements, offers, best deals, and best products. Colorful neons, catchy slogans, attractingattention banners, everything is designed to allure a potential customer. Our brains work as if they were a memory card, so we remember what we see, what we hear, especially, when it is big, glary, and unusual. The contemporary market offers similar products every year, we have access to the same categories of goods, and we usually have them at home.

Nevertheless, we still spend quite a lot

of money on the newest versions and editions. How does it happen that we succumb to the temptations of having something new? Shouldn’t it be obvious that if we already have something, maybe we should not get the same thing, just in a different color? Where is our logic? I guess, when we go shopping, we often forget to pack our good sense. We do not like to be judged. One of the reasons why we still buy things and want more is the fact that we judge other people and they judge us. This is one of the characteristics of the modern world.

People, regardless of their way of life, their family situation, their job, compare themselves to others. Yes, we like to be better than others, who doesn’t? But on the other hand, we hate to be worse. That’s why we kind of lose the ability to feel fulfilled. Why is that so? Comparing ourselves to other people can give us a lot of motivation in life, and it is definitely a positive outcome of such a thing. We see that people achieve more and they demonstrate that we can push our limits and be more successful. They influence us in a positive way, not only our confidence but also our work and life decisions. For instance, having around successful friends who can effectively encourage you to do something meaningful in your life, eliminates laziness and depression.

Such people are very precious because they are not spoiled by their success and they still are willing to help others. People who are friends with them are very lucky.

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Nadia Błaszczyk However, more and more often, the contemporary society is not able to share happiness from somebody else’s success. This leads to a negative outcome of setting certain persons as life examples. People sometimes look at the world through the glasses of “jealousy,” which is the negative result of making comparison. We keep ourselves motivated because we want to be better than others, we want to leave them behind. We want to have better jobs, more money, eat in better restaurants, wear more posh clothes,

go on more luxurious holidays, and be more successful in the family sphere.

We cannot be happy with what we do because we focus too much on what people think about us. As a result, we adjust to their expectations and want to go beyond. For example, we can have more money than all our “friends” but, at the same time, there are thousands of people who have more than us. So we chase them, we chase our “dreams” to be MORE than

they are. Such attitude is a result of the social norms affected by consumerism because the differences are not limited only to abstract dimensions like success or knowledge, they are more and more often connected to mundane things.

The modern world has taught us that we have access to everything and everywhere. We do not have any limits. The pressure of the society often contributes to the fact that we refuse to believe that we are not able to get or buy something. Especially, when someone from our closest surrounding can afford the thing we want. It is really hard to resist and resign from the purchase. Moreover, the easy access to goods strengthens our need to have more. When we have one fancy expensive piece of clothing, soon, we want to have another one. If people associate us with pricy goods, we buy even more of them, just to show that we CAN. One can argue that it is not always like that, that not all of us want to win in terms of owning things. Yes, I agree. But we keep forgetting that consumerism is not only about buying stuff. Consumerism is also related to using stuff. It can even be a category describing our attitude to eating habits and sometimes be the cause of obesity. You go to a restaurant, your plate is not as full as you expected, so you are disappointed, and you want more. You make yourself a sandwich at home and while eating it you think what else you should have put on it because you do not simply appreciate the fact that you can eat it. People go to expensive restaurants where they overpay for basic food, but their presence in such a place is supposed to raise their social status. I do not want to criticize people who like going

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Victims of Consumerism – Will We Ever Be Satisfied? to expensive places because everybody has the right to do it. Some people go because they like it, and others go because they know that everybody else is going, so they should follow the example.

Consumerism means also blindly following the trends created by the market and big, influential corporations. It is connected to advertisement and promotion, manipulations techniques, and our willingness to own things. Every year we are told what we should purchase if we want to have better and easier lives, achieve set goals, or simply make ourselves happier. As we listen to what is recommended, we consider buying plenty of new products which are not necessarily essential for us.

Very often, we already have similar goods to those which we want to buy.

What is more, even though we do not associate ourselves with given trends at all, we still do what most people do – we buy. We want to have it because everybody has it. Conformism is undoubtedly tied with consumerism.

No matter if we speak about going on holidays, getting a new jacket, or investing money in foreign environmental friendly companies, if we decide to do one of these things just because other people do it, it is consumerism. Unless we decided before everybody else did. Or we connect our shopping with our hobbies, interests, and things we like.

Rethinkng this, we have to ask oursevles two questions: are we really the vicitms? Isn’t it our choice to buy more and want more or stop wanting more? I guess each person has to answer them alone. Consumerism is a popular phenomenon in the 21stcentury society and, unfortunately, it exposes our materialistic values. How

can we fight with it? I think it is a personal matter if we do something about it or not, but it all should start from us being conscious of how the market works and what traps wait for us. We cannot forget about our individualism but also we should think with a global perspective and realize how consumerism is destroying both our society and environment. Stop for a second and think. Maybe it is time to change our shopping habits?

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Have a Coke and a Smile* Julia Mardeusz

In a month, Coca-Cola will be 130 years old. How did this brown, carbonated liquid become an American icon and the world's most famous drink, sold in over 200 countries worldwide?

Everybody knows that CocaCola’s recipe is a very well-guarded secret. This recipe, however, might not be the reason why the drink conquered the world. Its success is based not only on the product itself but also on its great name and logo, original bottles, and finally, amazing advertising over the years. Have you actually ever met anybody who never tried Coca-Cola?

America’s greatest liquid asset Coca-Cola’s father, John Pemberton, otherwise known as “Doc,” was a very ambitious man. He came from Columbus, Georgia to Atlanta with a dream. He wanted to create something and earn a lot of money. He was a pharmacist always making new inventions, all of which failed. He was still working on one of them when soda fountains were introduced to pharmacies. Ice, carbonated water and flavor – this is how the fountain beverage was made. Pemberton saw opportunity in this and on May 8,

1886 he came up with his new “Delicious and Refreshing” product – brown syrup with a very original taste.

Coca-Cola Revives and Sustains The new product needed a name and this was when Frank M. Robison, the bookkeeper and Pemberton’s partner, came into the picture. He came up with a very catchy name, a dash and two words which are repetitions of the letters c, o, a..

“Coca” for “coca leaves,” and “cola” for “kola nuts,” both used to produce the syrup. He soon registered the trademark with a logo based on his beautiful handwriting. This is the same logo that we see every day, so many times on shops, bars, and refrigerators.

For the first couple of years Coca-Cola was only sold from the soda fountain, for 5 cents and this was a bit more affordable than other drinks.

Only in 1899, Ben Franklin Thomas and Joseph Whitehead approached Asa Candler, the owner of Coca-Cola

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Have a Coke and a Smile (Pemberton died two years after he invented Coca-Cola and he never thought that it would be a success, let alone such a worldwide success) and proposed bottling of the beverage.

Candler said that he does not feel the need for it but they can try if they want to. He gave them the syrup, allowing them to bottle it as long as they would keep up the quality. He just gave them the rights to sell it, for free.

At this time Coca-Cola already had its first imitators. It was hard to distinguish Coca-Cola from other bottles. Coca-Cola did have labels, but since it was stored in coolers filled with ice, and the labels were peeling off, there was a need to differ it from other ones. Coca-Cola wanted to have a unique bottle and in 1916 they found their design. Workers from a glass plant in Terre Haute, Indiana brought along a design based on the shape of the cocoa seed (they thought that Coca-Cola contains cocoa, which is not true). The bottle was slimmed and from that moment nobody could mistake it for another drink, even in the dark. The more modern design of this “hobbleskirt bottle” is the one that we see in stores nowadays.

The Great National Temperance Beverage Coca-Cola was seen as great refreshment, as something you can look for to drink during your break at work. During the times of prohibition it also became a great replacement for alcohol. People used to meet for a Coca-Cola. Even during the Depression it was something that everybody could afford. It still cost just a nickel. As Andy Warhol later said “You can be watching TV and see Coca-Cola, and you know that the President drinks

Coke, Liz Taylor drinks Coke, and just think, you can drink Coke, too. A Coke is a Coke and no amount of money can get you a better Coke than the one the bum on the corner is drinking. All the Cokes are the same and all the Cokes are good. Liz Taylor knows it, the President knows it, the bum knows it, and you know it.”

Coca-Cola is Coke!

In 1941, advertisers in the CocaCola Company thought that the catchy name might be too long, that maybe there is a need for something shorter.

That was when they came up with the idea of calling it Coke. Their slogan was “Coca-Cola is Coke” and one of the ads just said “It’s natural for people to use friendly abbreviations.

That’s why Benjamin is called ‘Ben’ and why Coca-Cola is called ‘Coke.’”

And now, in many countries, the homeland of Coca-Cola among them, the name “Coke” is used even more often than “Coca-Cola.”

Coca-Cola Makes Good Things Taste Better After the Second World War, Coca-Cola was advertised as a drink which goes well with dinner. Happy people with their beautiful kids were drinking Coke because it was no longer just a refreshment but also great company for food because as another slogan said “Things go better with Coke.” The target was the new suburban class. That is also why they also introduced the bottle in family sizes. They realized that housewives were now shopping for dinner supplies, and the whole 6-pack of traditional 6,5 ounce glass bottles would be too heavy for them, that’s why they came up with first “family” bottle.

20 The WASP

Julia Mardeusz Taste The Feeling Probably, the most important ingredient of Coke’s success is its innovative and well-thought advertising throughout the years. The only really bad move was when Coke came up with a new, sweeter formula, to compete with its biggest enemy, Pepsi, in the 1985. The public hated it.

After 77 days the old Coke was back.

Now, let’s go through some of the greatest marketing moves from Coke’s history. At the very beginning Asa Candler distributed coupons for complimentary glasses of Coca-Cola.

This was a very easy way of showing customers how the product tastes.

However, at that time it was something new, as well as distributing calendars, clocks, or urns with the Coca-Cola logo, all of this for the drink to earn wider recognition.

The Santa Claus that we know now, a big man in a red suit with a long white beard, is the image sold to us also by Coca-Cola from the 1920s.

Before that, Santa was portrayed in many different ways. The aim of using a Christmas symbol in the Coca-Cola campaign was that Santa Claus was supposed to convince customers that Cola-Cola tastes great also in winter, and that it’s not only a refreshing drink for summer.

During World War II, Coke was given to the soldiers on the fronts, to make them feel at home and thus reassure its position as the “national beverage.” Post-war America was full of optimism and prosperity. Coca-Cola was part of a fun, carefree American lifestyle and that was when Coca-Cola Company focused on selling happiness with the drink. They wanted to sell their beverage not only to suburban parents but also to young people, the Woodstock generation. A great step in

selling this smile and harmony to young people was the Hilltop ad in 1971. Coca-Cola gathered happy people from different countries and races and put them on a hill in Italy.

They sang a song “I’d like to buy the world a Coke and keep it company.” In those unstable 1970s they showed people from completely different origins gathered together, singing and enjoying Coke. People connected over the drink. The song became a huge hit and this ad is still the most famous Coca Cola ad. It even just got refurbished and is really popular again.

A big danger to Coca-Cola is the fact that people are getting more and more health-conscious, and the fact that a can of Coca-Cola contains 7 teaspoons of sugar is not a mystery.

But Coke’s marketers are not giving up. They are still coming up with new, creative solutions such as a huggable vending machine, which gives you a Coke when you hug it, or the new viral, “drinkable” ads, from which you can drink or at least get a coupon for Coke. All this is still part of the successful campaign of selling not only the drink but also the feeling, happiness. Have you seen the latest Coca-Cola ad? It's still selling Coke and A Smile! *Title as well as headlines are Coca-Cola slogans used over the years.

21 Volume II Spring 2016

Children of the Corn Dominika Grotek Do you remember when you were a small child and you used to watch Cartoon Network all the time?

Do you remember what the characters from your favorite cartoons usually ate for breakfast? Yes, corn flakes, but not just any. Corn flakes packed in characteristic cardboard boxes, often with a surprise inside.

It is no secret that the world production of corn belongs to the United States. Nor is it surprising that the United States is known as the biggest consumer of this crop. For the purpose of this article, the group of consumers has been limited to humans who eat corn and products made from it. Why humans only?

Because we have to remember that, for instance, cattle fodder is made of corn too.

While consumption of corn syrup slowly decreases, production of corn flakes goes up right with the increasing needs of the society. According to the newest USDA ERS Feed Outlook, more than 203 million bushels of cereal and food were consumed in 2015. For comparison, in 1985 the number of consumed bushels was only 93 million. Is this happening only because of the increasing number of population in

the United States? Why are the ordinary cereals still the main product on the breakfast table of the majority of Americans? The answer is – trust.

Let’s look at the most popular cereal in America – Kellogg’s Corn Flakes. Did you know that we owe their creation to John Harvey Kellogg, whose idea was to prevent masturbation with the help of such food? J.H. Kellogg was an American doctor who, among other things, dealt with people who suffered from malnutrition and obesity. He represented old beliefs that masturbation leads to many diseases such as epilepsy, yet he was aware of how nutritional values of food affect humans. In the sanitarium he run, he treated his patients with a special diet he arranged. This diet was about avoiding meat, not using spices, and consuming cereal grains.

However, patients were not happy as they described the food served in the sanitarium as tasteless.

Therefore, Kellogg, along with his brother, was forced to work out how to make grains more likeable. This was finally achieved thanks to a machine that made grain flattened in the shape of thin flakes. Moreover, Will Keith, John Harvey’s brother, decided to add sugar

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Nadia Błaszczyk to the flakes. This was the turning point in the production and consumption of Corn Flakes we know today. Patients, and soon people outside the sanitarium, were impressed by the simple and quick-toeat product, which promised them recovery. Although the flakes were produced from this part of the corn which was devoid of most of the nutritional properties which made it easier to store them for a long time without decomposing, their authors still wanted them to be a medicinal product, and later it was decided to add the artificial vitamins to them.

Long expiration date achieved through baking flakes at a high temperature, relatively good taste, and low price were not the only factors that attracted consumers. Do you remember a cartoon called Dexter’s Laboratory? In one of the episodes, Dexter and his sister Dee Dee eat their cereals for breakfast.

Dexter’s favorites are Frosted Suga Hanks, while Dee Dee loves Pony Puff Puffs.

They both find special rings in their cereals, which allow them to break the

code and find secret cribs of their idols – Hank and Pony. What is important here is that Dexter’s and Dee Dee’s packages of cereals consisted of a prize that could be found only there and nowhere else.

These cardboard boxes were something both pleasant and useful because they offered healthy food and a treasure available only for the eaters of the flakes. Kellogg’s Corn Flakes were the first cereals that offered such prizes. Ads promised that “something” was waiting for those who would buy the Corn Flakes. It could be a toy, it could be a ring, it could be a small book. On the one hand, Corn Flakes promised parents that their children eat nutritious breakfast. On the other hand, children were promised that as a reward for eating cereals they will get something nice.

Who are the children of the corn then? We are. Firstly, because we eat cereals. Secondly, because cereals stopped our parents from masturbating and we could be born.

Bibliography: Kellogg's History. (n.d.).

Kellogg Company http://www.kellogghistory.com/history.html.

History.

Retrieved

from

Smith, Rachel. (2015, April 2). America’s Immortal Cereal. The Atlantic. Retrieved from http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/04/americas-immortalcereal/388991/.

World

of Corn. (2016, January 14). World of Corn http://www.worldofcorn.com/#cereal-and-food.

23 Volume II Spring 2016

2016.

Retrieved

from

24 The WASP – Volume II Spring 2016

#RIPSallyStewart Małgorzata Dudo Sally Stewart, the former singer, woke up in her big Californian house, took a shower, prepared herself a vegan breakfast, and turned her tablet on to read the news: Singer Sally Stewart dead at 48.

“Is this a joke?” She thought and clicked on the subheading Live Report.

The page was quite long and started with three posts: Sally Stewart ✔ @SallyStewartOfficial

We are sorry to inform you that Sally Stewart has died today. #RIPSallyStewart Roxanne Miller @RMHeavenTalentAgency

Sorry, but it’s true. #RIPSallyStewart The President of the United States ✔ @POTUS

#LoveInGreen was my and @FLOTUS’s wedding song. Yuge loss. #RIPSallyStewart It felt like a very weird dream. Sally definitely wasn’t dead, but everyone seemed to think that she was, even people she’s never met. But she didn’t have time to process that, she had to read more. She scrolled down and saw quite a few posts by some supposedly famous teenagers writing about how much she inspired them.

Yeah, right.

25 The WASP – Volume II Spring 2016

#RIPSallyStewart At the end of the page there was a list of links with a title More Things You Might Want to Check Out: Sally Stewart: Pictures You Haven’t Seen Someone yelled at her during a concert. And then Sally Stewart decided to…

Sally Stewart’s Love Life as Told in Her Lyrics 25 Best Sally Stewart’s Outfits 10 Facts about Sally Stewart. Number 8 Will Surprise You! “Surprise me,” Sally sighed and clicked on the last link.

Fact 1: Sally Stewart was born in Edinburgh, Scotland, in 1968.

“OK, this one is true” Sally thought, and clicked on “next slide”.

Fact 2: She started singing in a band formed at the University of Edinburgh.

Fact 3: The band split up in 1990 and Sally was offered a contract for her first album.

“Oh, so this time they’re nice,” she noticed. Not long ago they published a big piece about how she betrayed her band members.

Fact 4: “Lovely Day” was released in 1991 to a commercial and critical success, taking Sally and her song “Love in Green” to the top of the UK charts. …But all she could remember now was the one reviewer who quoted the chorus “Love in green makes you blossom,” and commented “What does that even mean?! She has a great vocal range, but does she have to write her own songs?”

Fact 5: After touring Europe, Sally recorded her second album, “Stronger with Love” (1995) and conquered the United States with the song “Love in NYC.” Fact 6: Her third album, “What Love Is” (2002) includes her most famous song, “Love,” played on many radio stations to this day.

By that time many critics started to point out that her songs were naïve, and that she started to repeat herself. Moreover, they said that ballads are “so 90s!” One radio presenter made a bet on air that Sally would never write a song without the word “love” in it.

Fact 7: She released her electronic album, “On the Edge,” in 2008.

Sally would’ve loved to erase that record from history. It was bad. Her psychoanalyst said that she should forgive herself, but she couldn’t. The critics and the public couldn’t either.

Fact 8: She spent five years in a Hindu monastery. …Trying to make peace with the fact that she wasn’t as good as she wanted to be.

Fact 9: She died on April 4, 2016.

26 The WASP

Małgorzata Dudo Well, that just wasn’t true.

Fact 10: Do you have trouble eating? OK Kale pills will help you! Click here for more information.

Wow, 10% of her biography was advertisements. This just proved to her how surreal it all was. She went back to the first site. The newest stories were mails from readers who wrote personal stories about the times they were doing something and listening to her song… “Nostalgia does weird things to people,” she thought. Not long ago they’d used her name as a synonym for the word “pathetic.”

She scrolled back to the top of the page. It was Roxanne Miller who confirmed her death. She had been her publicist’s assistant during the “On the Edge” era, now she probably was a publicist on her own. Of course! It must’ve been her idea.

Already then she had been saying that marketing on social media was the future, but no one had been taking her seriously.

Sally decided to go to the Heaven Talent Agency and sort this thing out. She took the car and was arrived there half an hour later. She stormed into the building at Wilshire Boulevard. The receptionist saw her and became very pale.

“I thought you were dead?” She whispered.

“I’m not, but thanks for asking. Can you let me in?”

When she got to the fourth floor, she saw Roxanne through the glass walls of her office and she rushed towards the door.

“You can’t go in there!” Roxanne’s assistant squeaked.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Sally shouted at Roxanne, sitting at her desk, watching television.

“Good afternoon, Sally,” she said calmly. “You’re back from India.”

“I am and I don’t understand what you’re trying to do with this whole death hoax, but I know that you have to stop it.”

“Wait a moment. Have a seat, please,” Roxanne said patronizingly. “First things first. What exactly have you seen?”

“I saw the news sites repeating a lie!”

“Have you seen all the posts and the comments? I wanted you to see how many people care about you, Sally.”

“But they don’t mean it! One can’t say bad things about dead people, you know that.”

“Do you really think,” said Roxanne, looking at her tablet, “that all those 2 million people are lying? Nobody made them say those things. They really like you, Sally.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m trying to say that it would be nice to have you back. A new album, perhaps…”

“No way.”

“Best of?”

“Over my dead body.”

Roxanne sighed.

“Ok, then let me be frank with you,” she said. “We need you. Since you left we haven’t had many talented people, and publicity isn’t enough to make a star. So we 27 Volume II Spring 2016

#RIPSallyStewart looked back at our history and realized that you were our biggest success. And you’re still around! We need you, Sally, because otherwise Heaven Agency will… Go to heaven, I guess.”

“I’m deeply sorry for you,” said Sally. “For you don’t see how pathetic you are.

Not everything is about money, you know? Some people would like to have just one person who truly acknowledges that their efforts weren’t in vain and --” “Not everything is money, eh? Maybe when you have a couple of millions and a house by the beach! The rest of us has to make a living! You know I wanted to be a novelist? I hate this job!”

“Don’t feel sorry for yourself. It’s even more pathetic.”

“Ok, then look at my assistant here, Layla,” said Roxanne, pointing at the girl who was still standing by the door. “She has graduated from college, she knows five languages, and she still has to work for me! Because nobody else would hire her without any prior experience! And when this whole hoax is over, she will probably take my job, because my boss thinks I’m too old to understand the social media!”

“You know, you should better talk with a psychologist and not me. I’m out,” said Sally, stood up, and rushed to the door.

“Wait,” said Layla, looking at the TV. “I think you might want to see this.”

Sally looked at the screen and saw a reporter behind a red caption saying Flowers for Sally.

“I’m reporting to you live from Greenwich Park in London, England. As you can see behind me, hundreds of people gather around the famous bench mentioned in the song “Love in Green.” Many fans leave flowers and paper notes for Sally. And this is not the only place where such things are happening. As you can see on the photos sent to us by our viewers, there are flowers in other places connected with Sally’s --” “Excuse me,” said a female voice and a 20-something-year-old girl entered the frame. “May I say something?” She asked.

The reporter approved, so she took the microphone and started talking fast: “I’d just like to say that I used to be a big fan of Sally when I was a child. I listened to all her CDs… Cassettes, actually… I knew all the lyrics… She meant a lot to me.

But then I went to high school and my classmates said that Sally was lame and that I shouldn’t listen to her music. So I stopped.

But today, after hearing about Sally’s death, I realized that they weren’t right.

No one is objectively lame, just like no one is objectively “the queen of pop.” It doesn’t matter what people think. The important thing is what you feel in your heart.

So I’d like to say to you, Sally, in heaven, or wherever you are, thank you for making me realize this. As you sang, “Love in green makes you blossom.” You made me blossom.”

28 The WASP

Małgorzata Dudo

*** Sally Stewart announces her world tour Almost a year after the unfortunate death hoax, Sally Stewart announces a summer world tour, the first one since 2008. The singer will give concerts in 10 cities, including New York, Los Angeles, London, and Paris. The tickets will go on sale tomorrow at 1 pm EST. For more information, visit sallystewart.com.

The singer has recently released a 2-CD “Best of Sally Stewart” compilation. As it was leaked earlier this week, there will be a deluxe version of the album, featuring 3 new songs by Sally.

“The death hoax opened my eyes,” posted Sally on social media. “I realized that life is too short to have any creative inhibitions.”

As you may remember, when we asked Sally’s publicist how come she’d confirmed the singer’s death, at first she said that her account was hacked, but after some public pressure, she admitted that the person responsible for the hoax was her assistant, whose job was to handle all her social media accounts.

During our investigation we found out that the name of the infamous assistant is Layla McKenzie (23). Since that event she’s become probably the most hated person in the country. She was last seen at LAX, boarding on a plane to Delhi, trying to escape public scrutiny.

1283 comments: Simran Patel @SimranPatel108

No hope for that! #GoHomeLayla

29 Volume II Spring 2016

Women’s Day Dominika Kowalska

“What’s for dinner?” — She asked, throwing her designer laptop bag on the kitchen table.

“Roasted eco-chicken with mashed potatoes garnished with a pinch of parsley and delicious crispy salad full of vitamins.” — I sang cheerfully taking my apron off.

First thing she did was going to the bathroom to wash her hands. I heard Jonathan running to his mother, shrieking how much he has missed her during the day. Five minutes later we were sat at the table, had our casual shallow talk while eating dinner, which I’d been preparing for two hours. Afterwards she fed our six months old baby and put him to sleep, then read a booklet or two to our older son — Jonathan (the very catchy one where everything rhymes and amuses four year olds). I heard them laughing; they were having fun and I was counting minutes for them to finish. When our older son was finally asleep, my wife showered and returned to bed where she refused to have fun with me, too… “…It’s been almost a year since I’ve been using my right hand to satisfy my needs. The hand sucks and it shouldn’t be the hand that does that. I don’t know if I can take it any longer. “— I confessed to my best friend Michael while sitting on the park’s bench at our children’s play date.

“Didn’t I tell you? You’re too good for her. You’re a man who has needs and they ought to be satisfied… which she refuses to do. In this case it’s only proper to cheat on her. “ — Said Michael. He probably got the idea form one of these colorful magazines he’s fond of.

“Oh I couldn’t possibly. I love her too much, man, I really do. That night her excuse was exhaustion after a long day at work. She said sleep was all she had dreamed of, and every other evening she dreams of any other thing but making love to me. Am I unattractive?”

“You’re talking gibberish.”

“Then why? I think it’s the baby smell. The sweetish odor of milk, baby vomit and poop, it sunk in my body like poison. When she lies next to me, she smells the baby, and to sleep with me would be incest.” — I reasoned.

“Tommy, I think you’re being insane.”

“Not at all, think about it: at the office there are plenty of men who don’t smell of babies; they smell of expensive perfumes. They are eloquent as they have time to read other books than children’s ones. They wear suits instead of kitchen

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Dominika Kowalska aprons. The successful men who chose career over home are the ones that are sexy.

Did I make a wrong choice? I feel so unattractive. I feel as if my life was over.”

“You’re talking nonsense now, Tommy. You’re a handsome man, a dream really. You chose family over career; you have two wonderful boys who will remember their childhood with their father; what you’re doing is wonderful. Plus, your wife helps you raise your sons. That’s more than some women do.”

“I stepped on a Lego today. It hurt like hell.”

“Oh I did that last week. I feel ya man. Listen, I saw William on my way to the park. He was all tanned, well dressed and full of energy. He was having brunch with some guys. He has a boyfriend, a condo and a cat. This could be our lives.” — Said Michael.

“We could be single and childless. We could go to gym every morning, then have brunches in hip cafeterias, chatting with other bearded Hipsters and Yuccies who are in their twenties or thirties or forties even, and without commitments.”

“Life would be easier if we were gay.”

“Life would be easier if we were lesbians.” — Sighed Tommy.

It all started with Women’s Day. Women took one day for themselves and men gladly allowed it. It was only one day after all, and it was the day when men could demonstrate their appreciation for the existence of their wives, mothers and daughters. They would bring women flowers or lingerie and see them brighten up.

First women were glad and grateful to have Women’s Day, but then the feminists came and said that one day is not enough. So they took a week, then a month and now they have a year! Every day, week, month and year belongs to women. The most famous all-female punk rock band made a song This is a women’s world, which has been a worldwide hit for fifty years already.

I must admit it’s quite fair. It was men’s world for ages since the creation of the humankind. Somehow I’m nostalgic for the old good times of our grandparents… Hundred years ago women were taking care of the household and breeding new citizens for the country; now they come home, throw their laptops on the table and ask what’s for dinner. They even resigned from giving birth.

As women started being scientists, doctors, politicians and lawyers, they started inventing the things humankind needed, and they invented the Men’s Womb.

The 3D printed organ is being implanted in a male individual (who is ready to start a family) at every man’s doctor; now men too are giving birth. The government with the majority of women guaranteed that high quality health care and pregnancy visits are being provided to every person. Most births are now performed through the C-section for both women and men; yet, some women still want to deliver like their grandmothers did — naturally. Some even without the anesthesia, these are some masochistic women, but it’s their body and therefore their choice.

Thanks to the development in medicine, I myself gave birth to our second son. It was a beautiful experience, I’m glad to be a dad. Yet, something’s missing from me. I feel like my personality is disappearing. I’m becoming invisible. It feels as if I merged with my children and their needs became my only needs.

I told that to Michael. He said that I could put my children in the day care and get a job, many men do that and don’t feel guilty: “You can have it all.” - He said and he was right.

31 Volume II Spring 2016

Women’s Day “I could get a job as a businesswoman, like my wife. I have a degree from the same university as she does.”

“You mean you want to be a businessman, not a businesswoman.” - Said Michael.

“Businesswoman is completely gender neutral. Everyone knows it covers men too.” — I replied offended by his suggestion that I was linguistically incompetent.

“Is it really?” — He doubted.

“Come on. Are you one of these women-hating masculinists?” — As I asked, I saw him blushing. Michael was a good man, he meant well. He was just oldfashioned and had a hard time adjusting to the new language.

“Well, if you want to come back to work...”— He changed the topic. — “I ran into an interesting article in the Ms.’s Magazine. It gives advice to men who want to be taken seriously in the office environment; listen to that: If you speak up and want to be taken seriously, dress smart, but not too smart, stay calm and avoid appearing too ambitious.”

“Can I borrow this magazine? I’ll gladly read it during my me time.”

When I came home, I decided to dress smart (but not too smart) to see if I still have it. I tried a shirt, but I couldn’t button it up. It has tightened. I looked in the big mirror in our bedroom and saw the truth: I started developing a belly.

I’m too tired to go to the gym, plus I don’t have time for it. I have a perpetual, free gym at home, where I have to clean, cook and play with Jonathan.

The boy developed a sick fascination for camels. Where did he got it from? He never saw one in real life. Sometimes when I’m cooking or vacuuming, he comes to me and asks: “Daddy, can we play Saudi Arabians?” Then he has me knelt down, mounts me, orders me to camber my back making it seem like a hump, and there we go around the living room: “Yalla! Yalla!” The child is happy — the parent turns into a pack mule.

It’s all her fault. She buys him all these books about different cultures and reads to him before sleep; no wonder he gets strange ideas. Next year I’m signing him up for soccer practice — five times a week. This will give me more time for myself. I will come back to having life of my own, get a job, a membership at the gym, and maybe finish the book which I ceased reading when the second baby was born: The Great Gatsby. Where did I stop? Right: It'll show you how I've gotten to feel about – things. Well, she was less than an hour old and Tom was God knows where. I woke up out of the ether with an utterly abandoned feeling, and asked the nurse right away if it was a boy or a girl. She told me it was a girl, and so I turned my head away and wept. 'All right,' I said, 'I'm glad it's a girl. And I hope she'll be a fool – that's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.’

I read it again and it saddened me. What life will my wonderful, camel-loving son have when he grows up? I think his life would be easier if he was a woman.

32 The WASP

With the Nope on Your Throat Aleksandra Barciszewska

No. Nothing.

Not.Nowhere.

Nobody.

Neither.

33 The WASP – Volume II Spring 2016

Nor.

With the “Nope” in Your Throat The "N" words have been piling up for years. She divided them into separate categories, until they started to overlap causing a crack in her labeling Queendom. So she got discouraged and simply made friends with them with no further analysis. They just simply were there, were here, were her.

Once you recognize the crucial elements of your existence, they appear all over the place. If you discover (or fear) you’re pregnant, you see babies magically popping out in every corner. When these elements of your existence are negations, bars that prevent you from trespassing, sharp teeth that lock your spirit inside, then they disappear instead. The very first "nomoment" she realized she had a "no-reflection" in the "no-mirror," was when the whole "no-numbness" began.

Her name was Sarah. (“Now, everyone, say hello to Sarah.”

“Hi, Sarah.”)

When her brother Simon decided to kill himself, she was getting her manipedi in the local Asian establishment, close to her place. It was known for being cheap and relatively effective – everything that also characterized Sarah. The second her first fingernail was getting polished, her brother started writing a letter. When her last toenail got painted, he reached for a gun. Between those eighteen little horn-like envelopes Simon said goodbye to everything that was dear to him. His memories – where will they go? His dog – who’s going to take care of him? His body – what kind of coffin will it end up in? His family – are they going to miss him? Simon lost his will to live precisely when he found the reason to be alive, as simple as it might sound.

Even simpler was the fact that the reason was his girlfriend who simply said “no” to his proposal. His reason was revenge – he needed to make her suffer the way he did when that happened. But no. It couldn’t be it. The venom that began to spill over was too much for him to bear. “No” – he repeatedly said to himself. When the “no” turned into his every-night prayer, everyday wish, every-breath plea, it was the sign. Simon’s last day was nothing special. He wrote a letter, as every good suicider does. Full of grief, love, unsaid words, unthought ideas, unfelt emotions.

Blood red was Sarah’s choice for the day. Asian women, who monthly got paid less than she spent weekly on soda, did a good job. Almond-shaped nails were much more classy than those whore-like square ones her friends always got. Sarah hated her friends more than she loved getting manicure. Or pedicure, for that matter. Even though she got five tattoos with five names of her friends, she felt sick every time she got a glimpse of those in the mirror, after each of five showers she would take, every single day. She got into her car, admiring her fresh manicure, and, somehow, this immediately made her think about Simon. He was her older brother who she respected more than

34 The WASP

Aleksandra Barciszewska she respected herself. Not once did she doubt in him. Many aspects of her life could have changed, but Simon was the only constant in her life.

“Could you please pick up the phone?! For God’s sake… Why do you even have a phone if you never use it?”

The first message on her voicemail. Simon.

“Look, I will probably never tell you what I want to anyway, but… I just wanted to try…to say it. Just take care, kiddo.”

The second. Simon again.

“Sarah, I… I really need you to call me back as soon as you get this message.”

The third one. Mom? She got all of them after having fried oysters for lunch.

These were the best oysters she had in years. Even though she decided not to tip the waiter nor compliment the chef. It’s their damn duty to make her feel better.

“Hi, mom. What happened?”

“You should come home. Now.” Everything that happened after she got home is blurry. She doesn’t even remember how she opened the door, passing the police, an ambulance, or a crowd of neighbors trying to peek inside the house. Her mother was probably there, staring blindly at the wall, and her father gently stroking her head. And Sarah probably cried, probably felt guilty when she saw blood red spots on the floor matching her blood-red nails. Probably it hurt, it should have. Yet the only thing that stuck in her head, in her body, was this overwhelming feeling of nothing. It moved in right into her body the second she realized her fingernails got ruined when she clenched her palms into fists in order to close her body from emitting any human or nonhuman emotions. “No. It can’t be happening” – she tried to convince herself, over and over again. Yet it was just a mantra that turned into a song, which turned into a scream that was to haunt her family for years. Years in which she never removed the nail polish, letting it slowly vanish, just the way the memory of her brother did. When it was finally gone, she couldn’t even remember why it was there in the first place.

What haunted Sarah was not the suicide that happened. This strangeness, unfamiliarness with her own body, no-ness that she felt yet couldn’t feel at the same time. She couldn’t find her face in the mirror, the legs she shaved were not hers, the words she spoke came from someone else’s mouth. For three years after that monstrousness began, she learned herself anew.

Learned to walk on not-her-legs, speak not-her-words, love not-her-self. If life is like a box of chocolates, hers had a poison filling that slowly became her only nutrition. She fought it at first. Saw some doctors who tried to get this poison/chocolate-juju out of her, yet nothing worked.

35 Volume II Spring 2016

With the “Nope” in Your Throat She got awkwardly fascinated and began to devour the chocolates. The poison filled her soul to the point that it replaced what had been there before. When Sarah turned into No-Sarah, people felt sorry for her. What they didn’t know is that “nothing” gave her strength that no “everything” could ever bless her with. No. Nothing is a mere nothing, until you make it everything. (“What is she doing? Shouldn’t she be working?”

“Stop, hush. Give her a break, Mark. You shouldn’t be talking about her like that, she has some issues, I don’t know, someone told me she does. Maybe she’s just resting?”

“Great. So she gets paid for resting in the office? I should try that some time, perhaps…”)

Sarah wasn’t resting nor asleep. She mastered a technique of closing her body and exploring, penetrating it from the inside, just to make friends with her body, cell by cell, once again. In her mind, she removed all her clothes, cut her hair, took off all the jewelry, gagged her mouth, covered her eyes with a veil, and her tattoos with L’Oreal foundation. She abandoned the old Yes-Sarah in that hideously small and smelly office of hers. Through the powers of her will, she left the body and shrank into a microscopic, noversion of No-Sarah, and climbed inside No-Sarah’s nose. Sliding down her throat, swimming in the mucus-like liquid, she wandered into the squishy land of her lungs. Feeling like a Tarzan in a jungle, she swayed a little on her lower ribs, joyfully jumped from her liver to her pancreas, went on a spleen hunt, only to come back to take a piece of a rib souvenir with her. Then, she proceeded to her ovaries. There they were. Two melodically shining, blindingly smooth, and peacefully smelling diamonds. If she had had any tears left, she would have wept upon seeing such marvels. She caressed them till all the tenderness made them scream from pain. She had planned to destroy them for a long time now. They were a burden reminding her somehow of the Sarah she hated. Feeling their uselessness every time she breathed, their weight every time she moved, she just had to get rid of them.

And the joy coming out of destruction was unmeasurable, leaving her soaked with their juices. Mission complete, time to go back to work.

“Here are the reports you asked for, sir.”

“Thank you. That’ll be all for today. Good job, Sarah, very good, you can go home now.”

Not even a bit did Sarah give a damn about the fact that everyone treated her like mentally ill. She even enjoyed it sometimes. Creating a haven for her true self was much easier when the pressure of being “Sarah” was off. She did what she wanted to do, thanks to and in spite of whatever might have been thought of her.

36 The WASP

Aleksandra Barciszewska When she got home, she took the dog for a walk. Whose dog was that anyway? She couldn’t remember; it felt as if it had always been there.

Anyway. She took the dog for a walk. And when she was walking she could literally feel the liquid remnants of the reproductive eyes splashing inside her. Eyes which had been staring at her for twenty eight years, laughing at her, making her feel unworthy of bearing them.

No. Nothing. Not. Nowhere. Nobody. Nor. Neither.

No longer is No-Sarah terrified by all the “N”s in her life. The moment she decided to incorporate them and their meaning into her own existence, is when she freed herself. No, against all odds she embraced whatever tried to kill her, building a form of resilience only known to herself. Laugh, you fools.

You exist, she doesn’t. You’ll vanish, she won’t.

37 Volume II Spring 2016

38 The WASP – Volume II Spring 2016

Inaugural Address Adrian Wesołowski

So let us begin anew Together, explore the stars Conquer the desert, be one of few Inspect and control arms But if you feel prone to blunder Remember the fools put aside All those who rode the back of tiger have ended up inside The world's very different now But some things you can't let go When all appear to be in sickness Let every nation know Civility's not sign of weakness This much we pledge, and more

39 The WASP – Volume II Spring 2016

CONTRIBUTORS:

Aleksandra Barciszewska – editor-in-chief. BA-program-survivor. Vampiricpsychoanalyst-by-nature. Extracting the sexual from the mundane, rejecting reality for the sake of the very-tale of momentary satiation of the urges for creation.

Nadia Błaszczyk – her biggest passion is travelling, so she tries to travel as much as possible. She hates to sit in one place for too long so in her spare time she plans new trips and explores new places (even if they are just around the corner).

Addicted to drinking tea, even in summer. Her favorite piece of clothing is a smile.

Małgorzata Dudo – 3rd year BA student at the ASC. Her life motto comes from a classic text of American culture (Ugly Betty): “Be who you are. Wear what you want.

Just learn how to run really fast.”

Marta Natalia Giers – MA student of American Studies Center, very much interested in human sexuality. She got her BA in English Philology at University of Białystok. In her free time she enjoys travelling, meeting friends, and dancing (especially hip-hop and dancehall). She is also a chess coach for children.

Dominika Grotek – most of her interests come and go in waves, and she can definitely say that she is interested in a bit of everything. But to give you some hints: she loves zombies and music (rap and deep house). Also, she is into dead lifts and YouTube.

Agata Klichowska – student of ASC with a passion for contemporary music and independent movies.

Dominika Kowalska – in her spare time she plans a revolution, fights for women and minority rights, writes stories, and drinks coffee at midnight.

Magdalena Krzemińska – always wanted to be a gypsy snake charmer, but never made it to the academy. So now, with the bluest blues in her ears and the blackest coal in her hand, she draws pictures, out of sadness and self-disappointment.

Julia Mardeusz – is now in her last semester at ASC. When not studying/writing MA thesis, she’s probably at work, either posting stuff on Facebook or writing about women/culture. When doing none of those, she’s travelling or watching American movies.

Paulina Niewiadomska – illustrator and art director of The Wasp; psychologist manqué and 2nd year M.A. student at ASC who for the last few years has been working in the arts and culture sector and would do anything to be the second Eastern European woman to lead UNESCO (in the very very very distant future).

Natalia Ogórek – singing is her biggest passion, but she does not connect her future with it. Lover of TV series and Marvel. 70% funny, 50% weird, 100% organized.

Adam Radomski – student of ASC with a major interest in how technologically and futuristically oriented progress influences society. His pessimistic perception of the upcoming years have made him hell-bent on working towards preventing negative impacts of a world that is developing at an unprecedented rate.

Adrian Wesołowski – long-loved collaborator of ASC and doctoral student in the Department of History of <<a very respectable university>>. Trying to keep up some not-boring characteristics of his profile, he has written a poem or two. Yet, on a daily basis his tedious past social patterns recognition is interrupted only by <<a trendy sport hobby>> and passionate reading of <<fancy names of hipster writers>>. One could say <<metaphor far too sophisticated for a byline>>.

Kamila Maria Wyszyńska – studies Graphic Arts at the Academy of Fine Arts in Warsaw. American Studies is her second faculty. Loves to travel. Wants to live and create across the world.