The Transmitter Issue 15

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ISSUE 15 DEC 2010

A SOUTH EAST LONDON MAGAZINE www.thetransmitter.co.uk

Plus: news fashion gardening books music

JO ELVIN pops round the shops

CINEMA WARS!

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WELCOME

TO THE CHRISTMAS ISSUE

Editor Top and Winner

Editorial Team Oh! Jam In An Ant A New Henchman Ornate Presents

Regular Contributors Wit Conjures Email Cheery Warmed Halo I Misuse Wall

Guest Contributors Mammary Tacklers

Design Consultant I'm Slavish Loner

Printing Land Trash Temptress

Contact Dominate Thickest Torturer 020 8771 5543 The Transmitter is published by Insubstantial, Slim Spin Doctor If you too would like to waste time generating silly names for your friends and co-workers try: http://deanjackson.dj/nameanagram See page 62 for unscrambled names!

Cover Felicity wears 1960s red & cream suit from Vintagehart and fur top leather boots from Grand Bay Boutique. Pink Gazelle Bicycle from Popiel Cycles (see stockist details page 66).

Photography Andy Pontin

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All together now, 'Look behind you!'

Well that's another year pretty much done and dusted and yes, it's panto season again. We try to do justice to the silliness of it all in our coverage of local theatrical treats and some comedy (pages 50-54) On the retail front, we have pulled out all the stops for this fabtastic Christmas issue of The Transmitter. We are indecently happy to have secured the services of Conde Nasty's finest for our guide to local shopping, no less than Glamour magazine Editor and burgeoning TV star, Jo Elvin. Shopaholics turn to page 18 now!

We also have exclusive details about a planned development slap bang in the middle of The Crystal Palace Triangle, a rather appealing (on the face of it) mix of residential townhouses, smart apartments, boutique hotel (with destination rooftop restaurant no less), a covered market place and perhaps even, that elusive community dream, a local cinema. Find out more on page 12.

This time last year the community was in the middle of a campaign to prevent the Kingsway International Christian Centre from turning the former Granada/Rialto cinema into a church, an effort that succeeded when Bromley council turned down their application for a change of use. The KICC has, however, in spite of continued promises to do so, resolutely refused to consult with the community about the building's future, to the extent of ignoring letters requesting a meeting from the former Culture Secretary and local MP Tessa Jowell.

They appear determined (one might almost say hell bent) to use the building as a 'concert venue'. So much for listening.

However, you wait, as the saying goes, almost forty years for one cinema proposal to come along and then three come along at once. As well as the above mentioned plans, we also bring you news of a second application, to create a cinema out of the Grape & Grain public house and adjacent former car showroom (see page 16). We will be watching developments with interest during the coming year.

Enjoy the issue!

CONTENTS FEATURES 12 CRYSTAL PALACE MARKET SQUARE Our exclusive preview of plans for The Crystal Palace Triangle

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18 GLAMOROUS XMAS SHOPPING Glamour magazine editor Jo Elvin pops round her local shops

22 EAST DULWICH SMELLS Nicely, of course. Hannah McEwen sniffs around in Lordship Lane

24 MERRY CRISP-MAS Howard Male wants to start a Christmas revolution - he would

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28 MOVIE MAD

Annette Prosser revels in the retro fashion of recent movies 38 REPRISE A creepy Christmas short story from Justine Crow

52 MEN IN TIGHTS Mary Stamm-Clarke steps into a pair of pantos

56 HOBNOBBING

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Justine Crow finds something funny in Forest Hill

regulars 42 PALACE PATCH Sue Williams likes to keep her shapely hedge trimmed regularly

46 FESTIVE FIZZ Michael Eyre tries some very moderately priced sparklers

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45 THERE’S A WORLD OUT THERE! Howard Male listens to the latest world music releases

48 RESTAURANTS Justine Crow compares two Sydenham eateries

50 THE BOOKSELLER Jonathan Main reviews some Christmas gift suggestions

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60 WHAT'S ON A random list of things to do over the holiday season

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NEWS AND EVENTS

LOCAL NEWS, EVENTS OR STORIES? EMAIL COMMUNITY@THETRANSMITTER.CO.UK

Paxton School Fete The Paxton School Parents' Association will be holding their Christmas Fair on Saturday 11 December 2010 at Paxton School, Woodland Road, SE19. Everyone is welcome to pop along for some seasonal treats.

Soul in the Palace Crystal Palace Soul was established by a group of locals with a shared love of 60s and 70s soul, funk and disco, and record collections to match. When combined with an open-minded local pub, two record decks, a bar and a crowd of people determined to dance in to the early hours, then a good night is sure to follow. And what's more, entry is free, and it's happening on your doorstep. Fast approaching its second anniversary, Crystal Palace Soul has been going from strength to strength, and the last few events have been packed to capacity. You can expect to hear well-known classics alongside soul rarities. So dust off your dancin' shoes and head along to the Christmas special on Saturday 18 December, 8pm 'til late. The Alma, 95 Church Road, SE19 2TA Tel: 020 8653 3223

Santa special at the Library

Grape & Grain Beer festival

Santa's Grotto, Mr Bonkers' Christmas Show, the Puffin Club and a traditional seasonal pantomime will all feature in the last event of 2010 at the Upper Norwood Joint Library. Activities start at 10am and continue until around 4.30pm on Saturday 11 December 2010. Festive fun for everyone! The Upper Norwood Joint Library, 39-41 Westow Hill, London SE19 1TJ. Tel: 020 8670 2551 www.uppernorwoodlibrary.org

The Grape and Grain beer festival took place from 8-10 October, and of course we felt obliged to go down and take a peek [strictly for professional review purposes of course]. Once there, it seemed rude not to sample a selection of the extensive speciality real ales on offer, and what a choice.

Some particular favourites were Cairngorn Brew's Nessie Monster Mash with its honeyed maltiness; O'Hanlons Port Stout which was smooth dark and chocolatety; and Purity's Mad Goose which was golden, clear and grapey. But it was the potent offering from Hogs Back Brew, appropriately named A over T and weighing in at 9% alcohol, that made the evening go with a swing.

After that the tasting notes become somewhat incomprehensible, and so we must end it there. Word is that Rick at the Grape & Grain will be planning another beer fest for the future, so keep your eyes peeled highly recommended for lovers of real ale.

Pavilion Christmas The Pavilion Cafe in Dulwich Park will be holding their annual winter market on Sunday 5 December.

This year they have teamed up with some local businesses in East Dulwich, and the festivities will include choirs, dance groups and a vintage accordion duo. To keep those appetites at bay there will be a winter barbeque, mulled wine and local craft stalls for those unique Christmas pressies. There will also be face painting for kids.

Sydenham Arts & Crafts Fayre On Saturday 4 December (11-4pm ) there will be a fundraising event for the 10th Penge & Beckenham Scout Group 2011 Jamboree Fund at Holy Trinity Church, Lennard Road, Sydenham, SE20 7LX

Phoenix Centre Frost Fayre The Phoenix Centre in Westow Street SE19 is holding its annual festive Frost Fayre on Saturday 27 November between 11am and 5pm.

Admission is 50p for adults and children go free - all net proceeds go to the London Air Ambulance Service.

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TRADING PLACES

HOW ARE OUR LOCAL BUSINESS PEOPLE GETTING ALONG?

Do South Excitement and anticipation still abound regarding the opening of Do South at the top of Gipsy Hill (which we're fantasising about as a sort of Crystal Palace Conran shop). The owner says that he is still on track for a christmas opening, despite a slight hiccup involving his falling off the roof, delaying progress somewhat. An exclusive sneak preview inside reveals lavish expanses of polished wooden flooring. They could be looking at a high score on the 'ol poshometer!

Lyttle Minx What a great name for a swish new beauty salon now open at 251 Gipsy Road. Lyttle Minx is open seven days a week (including a late night 'til 8pm on Thursdays) and offers treatments including a mini-facial for ÂŁ25 and a deluxe mani and pedi at ÂŁ40. Since their launch in October, Lily and her team have certainly been kept on their (beautifullypedicured) toes! Have a look at www.lyttleminx.com for all you need to know. We can defnitely feel a bit of a pamper coming on ...

Brown & Green at the Station Jess and Laura's fabulous cafe addition to Gipsy Hill has been buzzing with happy morning people since the day it opened. Bestseller so far is the tasty bacon butty with rocket and tomato, and their piping hot soup and toasties are proving to be staple crowd-pleasers. Look out for a Christmas menu featuring homemade sausage rolls, and turkey and cranberry sarnies.

The twins are thrilled with the support they've had so far, and are constantly working with new ideas. 'We keep thinking of lots of things to warm people up!', says Jess, and The Transmitter team are salivating already at the thought of their imminent gingerbread lattes.

De-lish-uss as Craig Revel Horwood would say ...

LOS AMIGOS The new Mexican Cantina and Cocktail Bar on Central Hill, SE19 caught us on the hop last issue, opening just as we went to press.

We wish them all the best in a slightly tricky trading spot. We'll certainly be popping in for a Mexican beer or three!

London Door Company If you're planning to spruce up (hey, it's Christmas!) your front door soon, you'll be pleased to discover that established doormakers The London Door Company have recently opened up their 4th showroom in the capital, and it's perfect for us lot as it's in Penge.

Husband and wife team James and Emily pride themselves on creating doors that are not only beautiful but also ecologically-sound. If you mention The Transmitter you can be the happy recipient of a 10% discount on any door order placed before 31 April 2011 (though not in conjunction with any other offer) so pop into 67 High Street and see which of their designs and colours grab you the most.

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YOUR VELODROME NEEDS YOU

L

ots of you will already be aware of the outdoor cycle track in Burbage Road, between Dulwich and Herne Hill. The velodrome is the last remaining finals venue of the 1948 Olympic Games, and this splendid piece of sporting history is right here in our manor. If you’ve never seen it, you’ll be amazed to see how this quirky facility sits happily alongside residential tree-lined streets: it really is fabulous and on a blue-sky day can really take your breath away (without you even touching the pedals). Despite the track and its accompanying mountain bike course being much-loved and used most days of the week by a range of bike-lovers – from little’uns in the mud to grown-ups who fancy a go on the track Chris Hoy-style – right now it’s in big trouble. This is where you come in.

There’s been a campaign to keep it maintained for several years, but, due to the current rapid deterioration of the venue, the campaign has shifted gear into the big chain ring and the fight is on

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to secure the longterm future of the track for the use of elite Olympic cyclists, overseas and local clubs (including youth club HHYCC and the Velo Club de Londres), schools and members of the public alike.

Now is the time to get involved.

There are several ways to help. As an individual you can pledge as little as £10 per year to be a Friend of the campaign, and if you’re a business interested in sponsoring the venue or making a donation (and soaking up the feel-good factor that currently accompanies Britain’s competitive cycling successes) there’s plenty of opportunity for you to have your name in lights too. All are welcome, too, at the next public meeting scheduled for December.

Along with local supporters including James Nesbitt, fashion designer and long-term lover of

two wheels Paul Smith has recently helped to spread the word about the campaign on his blog : ‘I raced on this famous velodrome as a teenager’ he remembers.

Website www.savethevelodrome. com has all the details, as does facebook page www.facebook. com/savethevelodrome. Embrace your inner cyclist!

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STEAMPUNK FUN NIGHT!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WEREN'T AT THE FIRST SPHINX DINING CLUB? DON'T MAKE THAT MISTAKE AGAIN!

A

whole bunch of Crystal Palace people came together recently for a night of steapunk-themed Victoriana delights to help raise money for the Picture Palace Campaign. More than 135 guests at the Sphinx Dining Club slipped into costume and back in time as they put their hands in their pockets to dig deep and support the fight to bring a cinema back to Crystal Palace. For one evening only, the St John the Evangelist Church in Auckland Road, Upper Norwood, provided an amazing backdrop as it was transformed into a Victorian dining club. Guests were treated to a four-course meal, fine(ish) wines and cocktails whilst being entertained by a succession of talented bands, opera singers, silhouette artists, poets and magicians. With the event having quickly sold out and people joining a waiting list for the next one, it

really captured the spirit of the local community. The idea was the brainchild of local resident Noreen Meehan who worked tirelessly to gain support from the movers and shakers of the area, including sponsorship from some big brands.

One brand in particular supplied so much free gin that one or two from The Transmitter table spent rather more time in bed the next day than is usual.

In an evening with so many highlights, special mention should be made of the fantastic local bands The Peryls and The Hipster Ray, the latter providing boogeying opportunities par excellence.

For more information about the evening, including photos and details of forthcoming events, go to http://thesphinxdiningclub.co.uk For more details of the Campaign, go to www.campaign.picture-palace.org

Photo by Craig Richardson www.craigrichardsonphotography.co.uk

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CINEMA CAMPAIGN UPDATE The Picture Palace Campaign continues to fight behind the scenes to restore an independent cinema to Crystal Palace and ideally at 25 Church Road, which they believe to be the most appropriate use and location in terms of the sustainability and regeneration of the district centre and in particular Church Road.

The Picture Palace Campaign and local MPs have been trying to meet with Kingsway International Christian Centre (KICC), owners of 25 Church Road, the only large D2 (leisure use) building in Crystal Palace triangle since July 2010.

Campaigners and supporters are very concerned that the building still lies empty eighteen months after KICC purchased it. They want to know what KICC intends to use the building for, given the fact that its planning application for change of use to a church was turned down

by Bromley council in December 2009.

KICC has refused to meet campaigners and local MPs, Tessa Jowell, Jim Dowd and Malcolm Wicks thus far saying that it is too busy. KICC suggested a meeting in February 2011, eight months after it was initially contacted.

Annabel Sidney, chair of the Picture Palace Campaign, said “this is very frustrating for local residents and traders who are keen to know what KICC intends for this very important building in the Triangle. We call on KICC to stop avoiding local campaigners and MPs and answer the question - what does it intend for 25 Church Road?”

Thanks to campaign supporters, The Picture Palace Campaign has secured, in principle, legal advice on planning and licensing issues so they can respond to any plans which KICC puts forward for 25 Church Road. Campaigners are keen to ensure that KICC’s use of the building would be of benefit to the local community and contributes to the vitality and viability of Crystal Palace district centre.

Two other applications for a cinema in Crystal Palace are currently under way, one at the Grape and Grain public house and the Bigger Picture Gallery and one at Victory Place opposite Bookseller Crow. The Picture Palace Campaign would be very interested in hearing local residents’ and traders’ views on these applications through their website www.picture-palace.org.

Details of the applications can be found on the campaign home page.

City Screen, the original bidders against KICC for 25 Church Road, continues to regard Crystal Palace as an excellent location for a Picturehouse cinema. The Picture Palace Campaign has recently written to local authorities asking them to consider the best way forward for Crystal Palace, given the recent applications, City Screen’s continued interest and the future of 25 Church Road.

To sign up as a supporter and for regular updates please visit the campaign website: www.picturepalace.org

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TRANSMITTER EXCLUSIVE!

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Crystal Palace Market Square

W

e are pleased to be able to unveil some exclusive news and pictures of a plan that is under way for the creation of a market square in the heart of Crystal Palace. The proposal for Victory Square centres around a large glass-covered market, a 4-screen cinema (or, if developments elsewhere make this a non-option, retail studio workshops), an arts and crafts mini-mall, residential apartments, hotel, bar, restaurant and studio space.

The development would be sited in the Crystal Palace Triangle just off Westow Street. The area is currently occupied by the Los Toreros tapas bar and a series of warehouses that are in temporary short-term use. Access to the site would be from Westow Street via Victory Place and Carberry Road, or to the rear via Carberry Works Lane and Stoney Lane off Church Road.

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Under the current plans, Los Toreros will be refurbished and integrated into the overall scheme, and the warehouses and workshops to the rear of Carberry Road will be retained (although they are not part of the application, they provide a buffer to the cottages on Carberry Road). The plans will see the warehouse along Carberry Road replaced with five 4-bedroom townhouses.

The proposals are being put forward

by St Aidan’s Group, who have been working on the scheme for two years. As Ivan Bateman from St Aidan's Group explains ‘the scheme is an opportunity to create a focal point for a bustling local market. Victory Place would be an accessible space with an appeal to all generations, where music, culture, entertainment and food are the main attractions. This would help drive the regeneration of Westow Street and the surrounding area.’

The anchor of the scheme is to provide a permanent home for the market, while providing flexible space for other cultural activities, such as exhibitions and shows. The glass canopy covering the market will protect it from the elements.

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The main aims of the scheme are to: •

create a focal point for the community, and aid economic regeneration

•

provide either a multi-screen cinema or space for designer retail studio workshops

•

create residential accommodation with 25 new 1- and 2-bedroom flats, three 3-bedroom maisonettes and five 4-bedroom townhouses

•

include a new boutique hotel and restaurant/bar attracting tourist and economic benefits to the area

•

provide a flexible studio/office space to complement the market.

THE TRANSMITTER SAYS...

The plans are certainly exciting.

Crystal Palace Triangle needs a shot in the arm and this plot in the very heart of the palace should be an anchor point to any regeneration.

We believe that the individual and unique nature of the Palace should not be lost. We have lots of independent shops and businesses in the area, and the development should build on this.

On the market front, if there is a market then it should be an excellent one! It won't be easy - so get someone who knows what they are doing - fresh produce from local suppliers - sausages and ale from Kent, local cheeses - Yummy!.

On the cinema front, well, what can we say? Cinema proposals seem to be springing up everywhere! The old Gala bingo hall in Church Road would be a fine place for a cinema but the current owners seem unwilling to relinquish it for any such use. Now we have a proposal for a cinema on the site of the current (wonderful) Grape & Grain pub (see page 16). Not such a bad idea on the face of it, although it's a bit of a shame to lose such a great pub.

Perhaps a cinema in the centre of the triangle doesn't seem such a bad idea after all...

One problem faced by the St Aidan’s Group is that no matter

how appealing the development looks on paper, some people in the local community feel that there is a credibility gap between what is proposed, and what they think might be delivered. Given the climate of opinion, St Aidan’s Group might want to make more of an effort to quell fears of 'hit and run' style developing if they want the wholehearted support from the Crystal Palace community.

Having said all that, we like it!

It's time to move Crystal Palace forward - it's time the area looked just a bit more like the desirable, fab, London destination that it is and, on paper at least, this development ticks quite a lot of boxes.

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AN INDECENT PROPOSAL? A WEST NORWOOD COMPANY HAS PUT THE CAT AMONG THE PIGEONS As this issue goes to press, Bromley Planning Dept are being asked to consider a proposal to turn the current Grape & Grain public house and the adjacent showroom space into a cinema. Currently the application status is still pending consideration and the people behind the project do not wish to make any formal comments to the media (or The Transmitter for that matter!).

The Transmitter is editorially far too weak-kneed and indecisive to make any comments of our own, but here's a few things we picked up from the 'ether' and printed totally out of context.

Well I think this is a great idea. It would be a cinema....... in Crystal Palace.....isn't that what the 'Cinema for Crystal Palace' been campaigning for for the last few years?

"It seems the applicants have the same attitude towards public consultation as the KICC." "Why is it ill considered opportunism to try to take advantage of market demand ? " "..the concern is that a small venue with small screens, and few of them, will not be economically viable."

"I went to Curzon Wimbledon for the first time recently, and thought it was really nice - intimate, with a pleasant bar area, comfortable seats, fine for a cinema."

"The Grape & Grain is an award winning pub, currently South East London branch of CAMRA New Star for 2010 and the only pub in SE19 with an entry in the 2011 Good Beer Guide."

Proposal: Change of use of public house (Class A4) and car showroom to a 2 screen cinema with ancillary foyer and cafe/bar provisions

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A shop full of books that you might want to read

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CHRISTMAS SHOPPING! JO ELVIN, EDITOR OF THE FASHIONTASTIC GLAMOUR MAGAZINE, IS REJOICING IN HER LOCAL SHOPS THIS CHRISTMAS

As an Olympic level shopaholic, it used to be that at least my wallet was safe

on the weekends. The GLAMOUR office is in Old Bond Street, so the shopping temptations are endless. Then there are the rails upon rails of clothes that I

preview (which sometimes have me noting in my diary when something I've

had my eye on will be in store to buy). Until recently, the only battering my

debit card got at home on the weekends was every fortnight at the Sydenham SavaCentre. But something has happened in the last year. Suddenly there's a whole new world of retail possibilities and all of them fun. So as I spy that

freight train at the end of the tunnel known as Christmas I'm thinking‌ I can

do a quick blitz through SE26 and SE19 and be done! I'm thinking‌ I can get all my Christmas shopping done far and away from the hell of Oxford Street!

Herewith are some of my favourites!

Heavenly Presents Sydenham Road, Sydenham

In our house, this is known as 'the fairy shop'. My 5-yearold is obsessed. When she finally dragged me in there one rainy Saturday, I understood. I came out with a ton of stuff, like a heart-shaped chalkboard for my daughter's room, a gorgeous jewellery box for a friend of hers, and a beautiful tablecloth for my dining room. It's the perfect gift destination, full of gorgeous things that you never knew you needed until you saw them. There really is an excellent selection of pretty, homey stuff to guarantee you will cross a lot of gifts off your list in a one-stop shop.

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at you never th s g in th s u eo g r "full of go ou saw them" y l ti n u ed d ee n knew you

“This is the desti nation when you have to buy Westow Street, Crystal Palace so m ething meaningfu This is the destination when you have to buy l something meaningful and stylish. I've lost and stylish” count of the number of times that Smash Bang Wallop has covered my procrastinating behind with the

Smash, Bang, Wallop

perfect, last minute gift. And I wish I was there right now, hoovering up their collection of gorgeous, rainbow-coloured satchels from the Cambridge Satchel Company. These stylish carry-alls have catapulted to the top of the wish list for every fashion person I can think of. I recently bought one for Kate Moss's hairdresser, James Brown, who LOVES it – and believe me, he wouldn't hesitate to tell you if he didn't. I should also point out that Smash Bang Wallop is a fantastic destination for anyone trying to shop with a conscience.

From beautiful, eco-friendly organic cotton baby and kids' clothes to gorgeous, old-school home accessories like linen waters and traditional soap flakes. You'll spend hours in there.

This Alex Monroe Bee from Smash Bang Wallop has been spotted around the gorgeous necks of Emma Watson and Konnie Huq

Vintagehart Church Road, Crystal Palace

n item is a er e l g n i s "every piece of design e exquisit hion history" fas

Alhambra

Speaking of tiny. Most people know by now that this really is one of Crystal Palace's (not so) hidden gems. I know that, for some people, the vintage shopping experience is just not the same without the thrill of diving six feet into a pile of mothball-scented rags. I just don't have time for that, so I tend to come down on the Vintagehart side of things – civilised, precisely-edited shopping, where every single item is an exquisite piece of designer fashion history. I would recommend popping in as much as possible because you don't know what you'll find from one visit to the next.

The last time I was there, I would have come out with a coat and a tux jacket had they fitted me. But I'm thrilled with my metallic thread Dior vest – which cost all of £17. An extensive, gorgeous scarf and bag selection make it a good idea for gift shopping.

"I can't go in there without coming out with a fistful of goodies"

Kirkdale, Sydenham

Gorgeous gifts and food with a Spanish and Mexican bent. I can't go in there without coming out with a fistful of goodies. The GLAMOUR office does a Secret Santa every year for Christmas and quite a few trinkets under the tree have come from here – I particularly love their handmade ceramic dishes which come in all manner of cheery, colourful designs and the gorgeous cushions.

I had my eye on one with a Day of the Dead theme – covered in grinning skulls, it was so cute (no honestly) – but it would have meant redecorating my whole house to accommodate it.

Everything from the good quality olive oils to the tea towels and scented candles are all great gift ideas. Check it out.

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JH Skincare Kirkdale, Sydenham

When you walk in and smell the Natural Magic Organic Candle scent wafting through the place, do try hard not to be seduced into having a relaxing massage or facial, and do try to remember we are blitzing our Christmas shopping. (Although the owner Janis Hendrickson always makes dropping everything and pampering yourself seem to be the most immediately urgent thing you must do.) She and Keeley are so friendly and welcoming and absolutely brilliant at every treatment they offer. Sometimes I've been in and Janis has made cakes for all the customers! They are brilliant at putting together really great value Christmas deals so a gift voucher for the time-starved woman in your life will never go astray. Yes, that last line was for my husband to read.

the time-starveday" r fo er h c u o v t if "a g ill never go astr w fe li r u o y in n woma

Kirkdale Bookshop Kirkdale, Sydenham

y ens up mmble t h g i r b a ys "it alwato have a lazlye shop" y t Saturdda this happy lit aroun

This is the essence of what a charming, local, community-spirited shop should be. Not only do they have a fantastic selection of books (as the term 'bookshop' would suggest) but they hold all manner of fantastic events from storytime for children on Saturday mornings, to meet-the-author nights. And yes, watch out for Santa in his grotto soon. You can also buy a nice array of gifts in here including chic mugs and candles. When I received a book token from here for my last birthday I was so pleased, not just because I could get a new book but because it always brightens up my Saturday to have a lazy amble around this happy little shop.

Restaurants Let's face it, some people are an absolute nightmare to buy for.

Like me,for instance! But personally I will never tire of a good dinner out with friends. And I think we are so well served in our neighbourhood now. My favourite restaurants in Sydenham and Crystal Palace include Joanna's (the classic, gold standard), The Exhibition Rooms and good ol' Tamnag Thai where I even find the slightly crotchety service somehow charming. In Sydenham, I love Trattoria Raffaele in Sydenham for brilliant, friendly service and the yummiest pizzas I've ever eaten. (Sometimes, if you've been good, owner Raff will send you blind on Limoncello before you leave ). I still thank God that The Dolphin opened and stayed, for delicious brasserie food. Why not treat your loved ones to the gift of a great meal. Or if we're talking about family members you're trying to avoid, you can always post them a gift voucher!

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"I will never ti r dinner out with e of a good friends."

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21

East Dulwich Smells

Beautifully scented Hannah McEwen comes up smelling of roses

T

hinking of buying perfume this Christmas, and need a bit of inspiration? If you are anything like me, you may have fallen into the habit of wearing the same fragrance day in and day out, without much thought.

And it might be a lovely scent, but isn't wearing the same thing a little bit dull? A visit to an East Dulwich boutique soon put me on the right track. ’You wouldn't wear the same outfit every day, so why wear the same perfume?’ asks Michael Donovan, perfume expert in residence at Roullier White in Lordship Lane.

And as I confess to my single bottle of Chanel No 5 sitting alone at home, I feel a little bit inadequate.

Luckily for me, Donovan's infectious enthusiasm for good fragrance keeps my spirits up.

Over the course of our meeting, I sniff my way through over 40 fragrances: some have a long history, some are new and exciting.

Some I couldn't imagine wearing myself, but that's the beauty of perfume. Different ones suit different people, and what works

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well on one person may not on the next. It's not an exact science - a perfume will smell unique on you, depending on factors such as your skin type. I am introduced to perfume for both men and women, and some that are for both. ‘Many of the perfume houses, especially in France, have fragrances that don't say if they are for a man or woman.

They prefer you to make up your own mind about what you like,’ explains Donovan.

A good perfume should be like a good novel, with a beginning, a middle and an end. The top notes are the first thing to burst out of a fragrance and grab your attention.

The middle notes are the heart of the perfume - often the big smells of jasmine or rose. The base notes are deep and lasting, often woody or musky. The ‘dry-down’ is the time taken for the perfume to move from the top down to the base - normally around 20 to 30 minutes once it's on your skin.

And if you have a perfume that doesn't seem to last, you may not be using enough of it. ‘British women tend to be too reticent

with their perfume,’ says Donovan brightly, ‘if you are going to wear a perfume, then wear it!’ And don't just stick to spraying your wrists and neck, ‘Pulse points are good, but spraying your hair is great, especially in winter and summer. Hair is porous, and the fragrance will last longer’. Spraying a little on the front and back of your top is also a good way to make your perfume work a little bit harder.

And a golden rule: Don't rub! If, like me, you tend to give your scent a good going over using the inside of your wrists, you may not be doing it any favours. Delicate fragrances tend to suffer under such rough treatment. Be kind - spray and allow the perfume to dry naturally on your skin. And one for our male readers - don't be tempted to spray your face. The main ingredient in any fragrance remains alcohol, which will dry the skin and emphasise any wrinkles. To give your perfume more life while it's still in the bottle, keep it away from sunny windowsills and radiators. Just like a good wine, heat and light are a perfume's natural enemies.

To get the most out of wearing perfume, consider creating a 'scent wardrobe' of four or five scents.

Your selection can reflect your moods, what you are doing, and the seasons. At this time of year it can include fragrances that will perk you up; happy fragrances that will wrap you in a comfort blanket on a dreary winter morning, or give you a bit of sparkle for an evening out.

It may sound like an indulgence, but as Donovan explains, ‘he or she will still remember that you smelt wonderful long after they have forgotten what you were wearing, believe me’.

And if you choose a scent that makes a stranger ask you what it is, then you may be on to something special. Donovan also advises people not to underestimate the opinion of the black cab driver.

They have so many people in and out of their cab that if they ask after your perfume, you could have a real winner!

So the next time you are in the mood for a bit of retail therapy, don't overlook a new fragrance - it could transform you more than a new outfit. And if you feel stuck in a perfume rut, you could be missing out. Get your nosebuds dancing by exploring some new scents.

Roullier White, 125 Lordship Lane, London SE22 8HU www.roullierwhite.com 020 8693 5150

For men Homme by Costume National [right] Bitter orange, cinnamon and clove make this warmly spiced fragrance perfect for colder months.

Pour un Homme de Caron by Caron Created in 1934, and the first fragrance designed exclusively for men. Clear, minty lavender, like walking through Provence in summer.

Original Vetiver by Creed The Creed family have been creating fragrances for 250 years, and Original Vetiver is bright, clean and grassy. Like being a kid again and rolling down a verdant bank.

One for after the thaw.

For women Lady Vengeance by Juliette Has a Gun [right] A glamourous name for a sexy perfume. Patchouli (but clear, not at all like a musty 70s patchouli), rose and vanilla. This lady has a kick.

Encre Noire pour Elle by Lalique. A classy perfume with a heart of Turkish rose and woody vetiver.

Love in White by Creed [main picture left] One to emerge from winter with. A bouquet of spring flowers, fresh and ready to bring you out of hibernation. And for those of you not quite ready to shake off those winter nights, Love in Black is the dark sister, bursting with violet and tuberose.

For both Habanita by Molinard.

A perfume that dates back to 1921, inspired by the women who work rolling cigars in Cuba. Spicy, smoky and rich, with a sparkle.

Celestial by Boadicea the Victorious [right] A beautiful year-round fragrance - wild green figs and jasmine, suffused with herbs and lime leaf.

Eau de Reglisse by Caron A lovely warm, sherbet lemon, with green mandarin and a very subtle liquorice. * Prices are available on the website

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Merry Crisp-mas MULTICULTURAL, PARTLY-ATHEIST BRITAIN NEEDS A NEW KIND OF CHRISTMAS, SUGGESTS OUR RESIDENT REVOLUTIONARY HOWARD MALE

L

et’s be clear on this: I don’t hate Christmas, in fact I rather like it. It’s just that I wonder what a Martian would make of this nation of lapsed, normally ‘green’ Christians, as they chop down millions of fir trees so as to drape them with the kind of tinselly tat that wouldn’t find a place in homes any other time of the year. Then we stuff ourselves with concentration camp turkeys while watching these trees slowly die. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. There’s also the weird layering of commercial and religious symbolism that we now take for granted.

24

As all you liberal educated types (Transmitter readers, please -Ed) know, much of what we associate with Christmas was part of pagan festivities for thousands of years before Baby Jesus started throwing his gold, frankincense and myrrh out of the manger. For example, the Holly King only had to change his coat from green to red to become – with a bit of image refinement from Coca Cola’s ad men – our very own Santa. And we all know that Jesus wasn’t really born on December 25th, don’t we? In fact he might not have existed at all. But that’s another story.

Jesus’s birthday simply became December 25th so that we didn’t have to change the habits of millennia. Or to put it another way, change our holiday plans.

Consequently we ended up with our favourite annual break being represented by the surreal (in the true sense of the word) juxtaposition of a fat old bearded bloke dressed in scarlet and a kid in a crib (just as Easter has the even more surreal juxtaposition of cute fluffy bunnies and yummy chocolate eggs, with a man slowly dying in agony from having his feet and hands nailed to a wooden cross).

W

e need to re-brand Christmas. Given that Christmas Day was not the Big J’s birthday, we should replace him with someone who definitely was born on that day – I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. So who do we have to choose from? Well, there’s Annie Lennox (25/12/1954)? But no, I’m not convinced. OK, she wrote a song called Angel and she’s Scottish (which is quite a Christmassy thing to be) but she’s just too skinny to be festive enough. What about Humphrey Bogart (25/12/1899)?

He’d certainly be a move away from all that has gone before.

But monochrome’s not colourful enough, and it’s a bit of a mouthful to have to say Happy Humphreymas! every five minutes.

I know what you’re thinking: this is just another one of those grumpy rants about us losing the true meaning of Christmas. Not at all. In fact I’ve had a brilliant idea for making Christmas… well, just a little less confusing for those visiting Martians, and a little more inclusive for the rest of our nation who are either against or indifferent to the Christian creation myth. So here goes...

I’ve got it! Quentin Crisp (25/12/1928). With his coiffured purple hair, rakishly-angled fedora, and flouncy florid neckties he’d make an excellent alternative Christmas fairy. And there are many Crisp maxims which are as wise and pithy as anything Jesus came up with. This is him on the Almighty (or ‘You-Know-Who’, as he calls Him): ‘I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds.’ And here’s something you could use when the teenager in your life asks for a present of the latest designer wear; ‘Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are.’ That’d shut them up.

Also, Merry Crisp-mas has a pleasing echo of the deep and crisp and even snowfall we always wish for, but rarely get.

the most appropriate is Sir Isaac Newton (25/12/1643.) His very Sirness grants him a certain gravitas (no pun intended) and he looks pretty theistically iconic with all those wavy rock star locks. He was also one of the greatest physicists, mathematicians, astronomers this country has ever produced, making him an ideal symbol for our increasingly secular society. But most importantly, what fun it would be to have a miniature bonsai-like apple tree in the house, genetically engineered to drop all of its tiny apples – like a fir tree drops its needles – by New Years Day. So we could witness, over and over again, the very real miracle of gravity – the force that makes our existence on Earth possible.

What’s that I hear someone shouting from the back – isn’t Sir Isaac a bit dry? Isn’t there someone with more of the Christmas spirit about them? Well, it depends what you mean by spirit.

The more I think about this, the more I realise what a diverse bunch of possible candidates there are. In many ways

25

But there is one final candidate I have for your consideration: Shane MacGowan (25/12/1958). The pickled old punk certainly fits the bill as the kind of ramshackle but still-breathing individual who should preside over a day which once honoured the Greek god Dionysus, as well as the Romans’ favourite deity, Bacchus, the god of wine. And the man’s biggest hit, Fairytale of New York, is sung along to by many of us at some point over the festive season, despite its bleak, desperate lyrics – which is surely something of a bizarre miracle in itself. It’s not hard to picture a typically stupefied MacGowan (perhaps dressed as Father Christmas) on every other Christmas card, his graveyard grin and glazed eyes acting as a reminder that – at this very special time of year – there are people in the world far worse off than us.

But of all the above candidates, it’s Quentin that gets my vote.

The sardonic old raconteur was most famous for being openly homosexual at a time when it could have cost him his life. But if he were alive today (he died in 1999) and living in his adopted country of America, it would be his atheism which might get him in the most trouble. A recent survey claimed that a disturbing 92% of the American population believe in God, and more of them believe in the Devil than in Darwin. When you also throw into the mix the fact that 35% believe in UFOs and 31% in witches, it really gives pause for thought. I’ll close with one last quote from the great Crisp: ‘When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, “Yes, but is it the

God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?"’ That says it all really. Merry Crisp-mas everyone!

Howard Male

26

62_sue@live.co.uk 07403 620856 62_sue@live.co.uk 07403 620856

SINGING CLASSES In Crystal Palace

7:00pm Beginners A fun class for anyone wishing to improve their voice.

8:15pm Improvers Group and solo work for those with a little experience.

Classes take place on Wednesday evenings at The Salvation Army Halls, Westow Street Upper Norwood To find out more or to book a place visit www.kateproudlove.co.uk email kate@kateproudlove.co.uk or telephone 07931 543650

KATE PROUDLOVE SOPRANO

VOCAL & PIANO TUTOR 27

NOWHERE BOY - Julia (Anne-Marie Duff) and Mimi (Kristin Scott Thomas)

I MAD ABOUT THE movie

t seems we’ve always loved to watch drama played out in bygone eras, ogling the wetshirted in Pride and Prejudice or joyfully lapping up the barmy outfits of the Blitz Club-goers in the story of George O’Dowd’s musical birth in Worried About The Boy. And look at how the splendid mid-20th-century-set Mad Men has captured imaginations (including those of the big fashion houses like Louis Vuitton).

FILM WARDROBES ARE A REAL TREAT FOR VINTAGE LOVERS SAYS ANNETTE PROSSER 28

The 1950s and 1960s, in particular, are having a moment. Along with Don Draper and Peggy Olsen battling it out on Madison Avenue in season three of TV’s Mad Men, our cinemas too have been awash with sharp suits, pussy-bow blouses and beehives. Is it these

between the two women in John Lennon’s life, Aunt Mimi and mother Julia, is acutely highlighted through the wardrobe of each: but even if his Aunt’s austere black and grey immaculately-cut suits were meant to encourage the viewer in the idea of her as a buttoned-up, emotionally-challenged guardian, they still look exquisitely alluring to a fan of great tailoring.

With Carey Mulligan in An Education we are visually treated to all sorts of 1960s details; the main character herself covers much ground – one minute in schoolgirl’s duffle coat or prim green shift dress, the next in full Bardotesque gold brocade cocktail dress and updo. But we also have glimpses into the chosen daywear of her stern headmistress or the outfit her pretty mother selects for a night out on the town. And let’s not forget the alwaysthrilling peek into a 1960s kitchen, full of Woods Ware crockery and kitchen utensils with red wooden handles.

details, I wonder, that make us love these films so much? In a world apparently obsessed with throwaway and cheap high street clothing, could it be that we’re loving such entertainment because of the glorious fashion?

Take A Single Man, the sumptuous directorial debut of designer Tom Ford. Set in the early 1960s, everything about it is breaktakingly stylish: the suits, the accessories, the furniture, the house, the friends.

Nicholas Hoult even makes a pastel fluffy angora sweater look desirable.

So many of us viewed the lifestyle details with envy, wishing our own homewares and clobber had the same sleek appeal. In Sam Taylor-Wood’s Nowhere Boy, the difference in temperaments

But most fun of all the recent retro-styled films has to be Made in Dagenham, a crimplene-filled homage to the late 1960s A-line skirt and bishop sleeve.

The magnificent red dress (huge round collar, giant white buttons, short puffed sleeves) worn by Sally Hawkins on the film poster (and incidentally the one her character chooses to wear for her meeting with venerable politician Barbara Castle) sums it all up really – there’s a sheer delight in seeing those tremendous outfits, so far removed from the ‘nextification’ of the daily grind in the 21st century, and affords us the chance to relive, marvel or gasp at what was once for many an everyday reality.

Annette Prosser

MADE IN DAGENHAM starring Sally Hawkins (above) is in cinemas now.

NOWHERE BOY is out on DVD/Blu-Ray

29

Party Time!

WEV'E GOT SOME STYLISH PARTY GEAR FOR YOUR CHRISTMAS FESTIVITIES - ALL AVAILABLE RIGHT HERE IN FASHION CENTRAL.

Hair and Make-up: Lucy Young Models: Ruby Slate Balthazar, Sandra Aji Photography: Andy Pontin (stockist info see p.66)

30

Opposite page: Ruby wears corset by Allbone and Trimit (£POA) decorated with soaps from Smash Bang Wallop Shoes (£70) from Frankie and Lola Skirt (£18) from Vintagehart This page: Ruby wears red and black dress (£85) from Vintagehart, shoes (£70) from Frankie and Lola.

Sandra wears gold dress (£145) from fortyseven, shoes (£40) from Frankie and Lola, feather headdresses (from £45) from Smash Bang Wallop Christmas tree decorations and wrapping paper all from Glitter & Twisted

Ruby wears vintage black cape (£38) from Vintagehart and 1980s Alberta Ferretti white dress (£120) from Smash Bang Wallop. Sandra wears 1960s white cape (£75) and 1960s black cocktail dress (£65) both from Cenci. Shoes from Frankie and Lola and accessories from Smash Bang Wallop

32

Feather headdress (from ÂŁ45) and 1980s Alberta Ferretti white dress (ÂŁ120) both from Smash Bang Wallop

33

Vintage black dress by Jessie Hill (£30) from Et Pourquoi Pas?, red and black Converse (£59.99) from Grand Bay

34

Moon lamp (left) (ÂŁ79) from Coconut Trading Selenite crystal lamp (right) (ÂŁ90) from Myjumbie

35

Boutique Suppliers of

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36

Group Sessions – please check timetable online as subject to change

08:00 to 09:00 Fat burning indoors/outdoors

12:00 to 13:00 Fat burning indoors/outdoors 13:00 to 14:00 Pilates 14:15 to 15:30 Hatha Yoga 18:30 to 19:30 Pilates

Book your group training online:

19:30 to 20:30 Body conditioning

www.trainingpoints.co.uk

85 Church Road, Crystal Palace, London SE19 2TA

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10:00 to 11:00 Post natal

07:30 to 08:30 Stretching

• Personal Training • Sports Massage • Shiatsu Style Massage • Facial Massage • Nutrition Advice

07986 764 553

WEDNESDAY

20:00 to 21:00 Core

TUESDAY

Gift Vouchers Available

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MONDAY

Book your Group training Online, £10 per session and benefit from discounted rates if you book 8 sessions or more.

All group Training consist of a maximum 8 persons.

Non-booked Classes £12

12:00 to 13:00 Core 19:30 to 20:45 Thai Boxing

THURSDAY 14:15 to 15:15 Pre natal 20:00 to 21:00 Pilates 21:00 to 22:15 Sivananda Yoga

FRIDAY

11:00 to 12:00 Circuit training indoors/outdoors

SUNDAY 09:30 to 10:30 Pilates 10:30 to 12:00 Hatha Yoga 12:00 to 13:00 Post natal 13:15 to 14:15 Stretching

12:00 to 13:00 Core 18:00 to 19:00 Circuit training indoors/outdoors

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37

Reprise...

A SHORT STORY BY JUSTINE CROW

O

n Sydenham Road while I waited for the agent to find the right key, I wondered whether it was a deliberate act of defiance in the face of persistent parody that persuaded Wes to maintain a complexion the texture and tint of tinned spaghetti. Or whether he truly believed he’d recently been in the Balearics, and not at the mercy of a spray-gun in a salon in Penge.

Ah. But my man was a genius.

Not only had he located key and lock, but he managed it all with a mobile phone that stayed in the crook of his neck despite the coating of gel that leeched down the nape of black curls like anti-climb paint on a school down-pipe.

“Hallway,” he said as we entered.

“Stairs,” he continued helpfully as we climbed. Without removing the phone (perhaps he was held in a queue), he effortlessly slotted a second key into the only door on the first floor landing and announced, “Flat.”

Was that phone glued on?

Noting my lack of enthusiasm, he offered headcocked, “Kitchen?”

And I opened one or two fitted cupboards to show willing. I regarded the two bedrooms and a weary shower cubicle before returning to the living area that

38

overlooked the street.

“What do you think?” Wes asked as if we were on a balcony beside the sea.

“Lots of click flooring?” I suggested.

Sensing the deal was unfairly slipping away, Wes finally stowed the Nokia and fixed me with his contact lenses. “S’ a useful spot, Sydenham. Library down there.”

Fighting for its life, I thought to myself. “And there’s a park..” I knew this place and it was no longer for me. And then Wes said: “And the landlord reckons a famous opera bloke lived here once called Gilbert MacSullivan.”

My smirk lit the dull corner. We parted on the pavement, his smile replaced by a defeated cigarette while I walked up the high street strangely uplifted. It wasn’t that my head was turned by the idea of living at the same address as Arthur Seymour Sullivan, creative partner of W.S Gilbert. After all, he was hardly likely to have sung his head off in that same sad shower or to have kept his teabags in the corner carousel. No, I was buoyed by a tune in my head accompanied by a dusty memory of soft floorboards, silent pulleys, velvet drapes and of a boy called Gray.

From the sunny Spanish shore… he will never, never, never cross the sea again! Me and Gray, aged eleven, sat on the gantry

ladder way above the stage of the old Market Hall while the cast on the stage below delivered a machine gun rendition from The Gondoliers, all tights and frills.

The light blazed upwards and burned our painted cheeks but we were having so much fun, alone with the grown-ups.

I was chosen to be an extra in a production put on by the local operatic society. It meant several late nights in a row and packets and packets of Dextrasol but it brightened a drab winter in a seventies down-at-heel railway suburb so it was worth begging my parents to let me do it. Now I remembered that somewhere in my forlorn belongings was a glossy two colour programme with my name in.

Gray and I both found the bellies in makeshift sashes unbelievably funny and when eventually Monica (the director) caught us standing upright punting with mops in a theatrical hamper, cushions shoved down our tops like fat frogs, we got a perfectly enunciated verbal whipping that sealed our friendship. We were quick to learn and kept an eye on the scenes, slotting ourselves into court when required and the rest of the time we had the run of the old building. Monica never needed to shout at us again.

In fact, the adults ignored us they laughed, forgot lines and

we were captivated by the fleeting bosoms, crotches and punts traversing the corridors and slamming the doors, and then I saw Gray drifting alone on the empty stage.

The dress rehearsal went without a hitch, apart from a few ripped seams and Annibale whispering to Rick (lighting and sound) that he could no longer live a lie, while the live mic was on…

threw tantrums as if we were invisible while we scrutinised their antics with schoolyard fascination. For instance, one day the safety curtain mysteriously rose to reveal the Duchess of Plaza-Toro (contralto) kissing the Grand Inquisitor (bass baritone), watched by the Duke (comic baritone) resting in the front row who instantly began weeping. Another time we saw Gianette (soprano) – who was a receptionist at our doctor’s – slap Tessa (mezzo-soprano) – a waitress in the café on Station Road – after the latter got pinched on the bottom by Giorgio (bass), Gianette’s real life husband. I don’t recall where he worked.

But when the piano struck up, temporarily played by Francesco (tenor)’s brother Morris (front of house), they dropped their backstage entanglements like hot Pyrex and rushed to attention to belt out the verbal gymnastics.

Arthur Sullivan who wrote the opera Utopia Limited, that satirised all things English in and outside the drawing room whilst living in dear Sydenham, would have recognised and been exulted by their middle-class sensibilities – Luiz (lyric baritone) may well have been caught groping Fiametta (soprano)’s fiancé, Annibale (male speaking role and chorus), in the box office by Inez, the king’s foster mother (contralto), but the show must go on.

It was one of the most colourful episodes of my childhood.

Soaring singing by lusty suburbanites swaggering about their stage directions in brocade pageantry against a backdrop of earnest Victorian redbrick like a cut-out theatre. Unopposed, we two children dashed in and out of the dressing rooms that had wall-mounted ironing boards and lights around the mirrors.

There were ramps to clop up and dollops of chains dropping down in cold stairwells. There were flats from past productions stored upright, layer upon layer of clouds and forest and pert azure waves, the smell of varnish sickly to our nostrils while we hid.

Each night I emerged fizzing like an urgent firework into the plain old weekday night to wait for my dad. I couldn’t wait to get back to the Market Hall after school to see Gray, to mimic the cast and to giggle at the passionate bulges in the curtains.

The night before dress rehearsal our costumes were doled out.

Gray and I had white stockings and sky blue coats that reeked of previous armpits and a hundred years of heralding. Mine needed a tack to the knee that Audrey (wardrobe) achieved with a Rothmans between her teeth that made my eyes stream. Stays were laced; the men flapped their blouson sleeves secretly thrilled with their flamboyance;

Dance a Cachucha was my favourite number and to hear it with an orchestra, albeit a pared down one, was so exhilarating that my eyes streamed without the help of Audrey’s ciggies. I knew all the words but Gray remained silent, rooted in position beside the plaster column opposite mine, his powdered wig as steady as his blue eyes. I promised myself that we would remain friends forever after this.

The first show was on Thursday and it went down well with the local critic who on the Friday morning pronounced it “an effusive performance by neighbourhood amateurs worthy of professional praise.” Did he mean him? That night the cast went out with an extra spring in its buckled step and Act II came up fast. Suddenly it was Dance a Cachucha, fandango, bolero with heel clicks and skirts swirling. The unfulfilled hens from the mock-tudors went back and forth amongst the roosters, chests full as Watneys Red icebuckets, petticoats and shins flashing thrillingly and at the climax, the lights went out.

Out of the baffled pitch black pause came eerie, vengeful laughter. Then the audience began to chuckle and before long they were all roaring in the darkness while Rick struggled to find the cause. When the lights came back on, Gray was still in position but his eyes had slipped to the left to find mine.

The Saturday matinee went somewhat intrepidly but without event while my expectation positively bulged

39

like those curtains for the final performance to come. And so we set off. I kept glancing at Gray but he kept his eyes inscrutably fixed on the back row. Finally Marco (tenor) and Guiseppe (baritone) relinquished their crowns to Luiz to scuttle back to their wives, ahem, and reprised their Act I duet gustily, arms aloft gondilieri style. Then, my suspense hanging on a precipice, the pair shot down through the hitherto unnoticed centre stage trapdoor.

The hooting audience fell about their flip-up seats. There was a sober show-must-go-on tick of the baton and the orchestra struck up for the traditional full company reprise of Dance a Cachucha with the first five rows stills snorting into their sleeves.

There is a black and white photograph of me in my wig with my mouth open wide snapped at that final scene.

When my mother saw it she commented how mature it was of me to keep singing, despite everything – the crash on stage, my age, my tiredness, those silly, silly people dressed up like clowns thinking that none of us knew what they got up to, whispering, “in the wings”. But I wasn’t singing at that moment.

Rather my mouth had fallen open with shock, for Gray was disappearing right next to me.

He had looked at me and then braced himself and vanished.

It wasn’t the trapdoor. Next to the photo in the bottom of the box was the self-important review from the paper and the original programme. I turned to the bottom of the cast list and located my name (page boy & chorus) but next to me was no sign at all of anyone called Gray….

I think might give Wes a call after all, and get a second look.

Justine Crow

40

The meaning is in the waiting...

REVEREND ANDREW RUMSEY REFLECTS UPON THE APPROACH OF CHRISTMAS

T

he title of this article is a line from a poem called Kneeling by the formidable Welsh priest and poet R.S.Thomas, who died a few years ago. Thomas was not, by all accounts, an especially good priest – indeed, he seemed rather fonder of wild birds than people, retreating to ever more remote parishes in Northwest Wales until he reached the Llyn Peninsula and ran out of land.

Hawklike in demeanour, he would often send journalists and other pilgrims to his cottage scurrying for cover, having little time for the lather of niceness which often passes for Christianity. This is part of what attracts me to Thomas, whose poems are like heavy, flinty ground which, when turned over, often reveal riches like this, entitled The Bright Field:

In Thomas’s poems, the transfixing beauty of life is only revealed after the ordeal of waiting. Like the best songs that hold back from their chorus until just the right moment, this patience and restraint is the key to anything truly creative. It is also the meaning of the season of Advent, the ancient and overlooked run-up to Christmas. A month set aside to do nothing but wait quietly for what isn’t yet there somehow shines brilliantly in a culture prematurely enthralled with having everything now.

The huge environmental and social cost of our inability to wait is something we are only now starting to discover, which makes this autumn’s launch of Crystal Palace as a Transition Town the year’s most encouraging local development.

Transition Towns are communities that are progressing towards more sustainable ways of life, which will almost certainly need to be slower, moving at the year’s natural pace.

So, when it comes, Happy Christmas.

But, in the meantime, enjoy the wait.

Andrew Rumsey

Advent & Christmas services at Christ Church, Gipsy Hill: Sunday, December 19, 8pm Carol Service Friday December 24, 4pm Children’s Nativity 11.30pm Midnight Mass Saturday December 25, 10.30am Christmas Day service

I have seen the sun break through to illuminate a small field for a while, and gone my way and forgotten it. But that was the pearl of great price, the one field that had treasure in it. I realise now that I must give all that I have to possess it. Life is not hurrying on to a receding future, nor hankering after an imagined past. It is the turning aside like Moses to the miracle of the lit bush, to a brightness that seemed as transitory as your youth once, but is the eternity that awaits you.

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SUE WILLIAMS IS HEDGING HER BEDS FOR CHRISTMAS

Blow, blow thou winter wind Thou art not so unkind As man’s ingratitude; Thy tooth is not so keen, Because thou art not seen, Heigh-ho! Sing! Heigh-ho! into the green holly: Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly: Then, heigh-ho, the holly!

This life is most jolly.

(As You Like It)

N

ot much has changed since Shakespeare penned this verse in 1600 – although perhaps the winds are a tad milder now. And while the winter winds blow it is an ideal time to knuckle down to a spot of bare root hedging. By December the garden should be as clear as it’s likely to be, and this clear palette offers a great opportunity for taking stock and forward planning. If your fancy is to lay out some borders and boundaries – to create some ‘rooms’ in gardening parlance – then this is the time for action.

I’m a great lover of hedge as a garden divider, its height creating perspective and interest. Privet (Ligustrum) is all very well but there is a fantastic array of plants for both formal and informal hedging.

Pathways can be created from double rows of Hornbeam, Box or Lavender whilst burglar-resistant boundaries can be formed from the thorny Berberis and Pyracantha.

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Yew (Taxus baccata) planted to the rear of the perennial bed provides a dark and dramatic evergreen background all year round while Escallonia – another evergreen beauty – can be used as a screen or hedge with the added benefit of twice yearly flowers. The only hedge which does not broach discussion – in my view of course – is the Leyland Cypress (Cupressocyparis leylandii), the cause of many a neighbourly dispute and anathema to any plant which attempts to grow within six feet of its base.

By far the cheapest way to undertake hedging is with barerooted plants. These are far more cost effective than specimens grown in pots, and late autumn (as long as it isn’t frosty or completely water-logged) is the time to plant.

Consideration should be given to eventual height and whether the hedge needs to retain its foliage all year round. With a little imagination more than one type of plant can

be used – a simple example being the Beech (Fagus sylvatica) where the common green variety can be interplanted with the coppery tones of the "Cuprea".

On to the nitty gritty. The ground needs to be cleared as thoroughly as possible to ensure it is free from perennial weeds: there’s nothing more frustrating than ground elder growing up through a dense hedge where access is tricky, or the dreaded bindweed snaking up through a carefully constructed tableau of foliage. Now on to the ‘bastard trenching’. Double-digging is the best method of establishing a bare-rooted hedge as it enables the roots of the plant to penetrate deeply into the ground. Dig in some organic matter – garden compost is ideal, as is manure – and if possible allow this to settle for a few weeks. Just before planting sprinkle a light dusting of general fertiliser and heel into the ground.

Hedges are best planted using

Most hedges will require regular trimming to keep them shapely and well-clothed in foliage

a garden line to ensure they are straight and evenly spaced. Spread out the roots of each plant before placing in the trench and then firm well into the soil around each one.

Water well if the garden is dry, then layer mulch to a depth of 2-3 inches along each side of the hedge. In next to no time you will have a wonderful garden feature.

Most hedges will require regular trimming to keep them shapely and well-clothed in foliage – especially where the height needs to be continued. Start trimming as soon as the hedge begins to grow (concentrating especially on any unwanted foliage at the sides) and continue according to the growth habit of the plants used. Beech will probably need a yearly trim whereas Escallonia or Honeysuckle will require more frequent attention.

Happy Gardening and a Merry Christmas.

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THERE’S A WORLD OUT THERE! IN WORLD MUSIC A CD IS SOMETIMES IMPROVED IMMEASURABLY BY GOOD PACKAGING, SAYS HOWARD MALE

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resentation may not be everything, but in this age of the download it certainly helps when record labels make an effort to produce packaging which either has some intrinsic aesthetic merit, or gives the consumer plenty of information and visuals related to the music they have purchased. The latter is particularly important in the field of world music where we are all relatively ignorant in regard to what we are listening to. And who would want twenty mp3 files left under the Christmas tree for them? So for this time I’m concentrating on three recent releases that do credit to the labels that put them out.

First up we have the latest from Analogue Africa – a company that always gives value for money in their packaging. I’ve had very little experience of the music of Angola, and even less so of the country’s 1960s and 1970s output, which meant that the 44-page booklet that comes with Angola Soundtrack - Special Sounds from Luanda 1965 – 1978 was incredibly useful for putting the music in a socio-political context as well as reproducing some of the groovily kitsch artwork that featured on the original LP covers: as the music fills your head you can marvel at the width of those flares, the height of those platform shoes, and the extravagance of those afros (not to mention all those crazy old

typefaces.) And lest we forget, the music is also brilliant: a dizzyingly potent hi-energy brew resulting from the influences of American funk and rock, as well as Latin, Cuban and Congolese music.

But I do think there’s a reason why these compilations of rediscovered gems end up being dressed so well. It’s because the individuals who have put them together are generally music obsessives. So having spent, say, a year rescuing old LPs from junk shops and basements in far flung corners of the globe, they want the results of their labours to be presented as lavishly as possible so that we armchair world music lovers then buy their compilation and thereby justify their commitment. Samy Ben Redjeb, the man behind Angola Soundtrack, is a perfect case in point. Another of his recent Analogue Africa releases The Vodoun Effect featured 14 tracks from the West African band Orchestre Poly Rythmo de Cotonou. The lavishly designed booklet informs us that he spent over a year searching out these rarities (many of which there were only a thousand pressings) to end up with over 500 different tracks from the band from which to cherry pick the best. Doesn’t this just make you appreciate the end result even more?

Finally, if there was an award for original CD packaging, the winner over the past few years would be the label Manana. Founded by Gotan Project’s Eduardo Makaroff it focuses on contemporary Argentinean music, in particular tango. Manana, El Tango - Perlas del Label gives you a taste of what the label has been putting out since it started in 2004. It’s hard to describe the packaging but I’ll give it a go. What you get is a miniature pop-up book which, when opened, reveals an atmospheric 3D illustration of a quintessentially Argentinean scene. Once you have stopped trying to work out how it can be financially viable to produce something so intricate and beautiful for the same price as a normal CD, give it a listen. What’s to dislike? This accordion, violin and guitar-driven music is simultaneously edgy, classy, quirky, traditional and modern; perfect for a tipsy tango around the Christmas tree with a loved one. Which brings me to another downside of the download: it deprives music of its social context.

The well-packaged CD (and its sleeve notes) can be passed around, studied, commented on. The download just ends up disappeared into the bottomless well of the consumer’s i-pod. And if they are anything like my brother-in-law, Steve (who boasts of having eight years worth of music on his iPod) it may never get heard again.

Howard Male

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Fizz is fab!

MICHAEL EYRE TASTES SOME VERY REASONABLE SPARKLERS

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ights closing in and thoughts drift towards good times to come and those that have just gone by. The one constant here, projecting wildly, is possibly a light libation that sits equally well with both the heat of summers past and the cold of the impending winter.

All of these sparkling wines come in under the £15 mark and will suit any festive occasion in a very casual manner. Let us away.

Freixenet Cordon Negro NV 12% £7.49 Tesco and many other outlets

Torre Oria Brut Reserve NV 12% £7.99 Oddbins

Adami Bosco Di Gica Prosecco 11% £14.99 Philglas & Swiggot

Here is a piece of work that is quite likely to be familiar to most of you.

I chose this, mainly, because it was there and I felt it needed revisiting.

The colour is a very pale straw yellow with a reasonably sizeable bubble coming up the glass. This tips you into quite a sharp and green apple fruity nose with just a hint of citrus loitering round the corner.

The palate takes on a level of soft creamy – due to the large bubbles – apple and pear fruit that makes this a very easy drink rolling into a perfectly acceptable medium finish.

On the whole, a drink that is built to be an aperitif.

Another little fizz that has been added to the Oddbins canon. See what you think.

Kicking off with a pale yellowy golden hue with medium bubbles that stay.

The nose is reminiscent of apple, honey and sage with a hint of lemon.

This folds very neatly into a palate of more citrus, green apple and sherbet with quite a minerally finish.

This is one that could be drunk with food. Ranging from a tapas-style starter through a substantial white meat/vegetarian main course to a light fruity pud-type thingy.

One of the totally tip top wines from this ace independent.

Presented with a beautiful pale straw colour with elegant beads leading to a creamy mousse, this is a truly delightful Prosecco. The nose is a combination of rich ripe apples and peaches with a delicate spicy, floral hint in the mix. Taking you to a palate that reflects the nose, of delicious fruit, acid balance with a lovely crisp, long, savoury finish.

Perfect with seafood dishes or just as an aperitif.

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If your job is threatened…

…don’t compromise on legal advice Conegliano Prosecco Superiore 2009 11% £9.99 Sainsbury’s You could do a lot worse than this from any supermarket. Try it.

The colour is a good, clear greenish yellow. With strong fine bubbles that are persistent, forming a robust mousse. The nose is a rich combination of fat fruits like pineapple, banana and lychee complemented by aromas of almond, acacia and wisteria. The palate, once again, reflects the nose with an intense, crisp and effervescent finish of banana & pineapple with a bit of pear thrown in. Not bad. A bit of an all rounder this. Good by itself or with food of your choice.

Happy Festivities Michael

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Christmas Calm & Christmas Whimsy JUSTINE CROW TAKES A LOOK AT TWO CONTRASTING CHRISTMAS DELIGHTS ON OFFER DOWN IN SYDENHAM

The Dolphin

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e’ve had a couple of rum meals recently, not least the one that brought to mind a P&O ferry circa 1972 complete with giddy carpets, nailed down upholstered bucket chairs and a steward sporting a nicotine stained mullet. It wasn’t that the food was so awful – though it wasn’t by any means good – but the best thing about the place was the view of the sea.

So when we decided to head to The Dolphin at the southern tip of Sydenham for your delectation, I phoned them and brazenly announced our imminence. How arrogant is that! Call me a snob (okay, you can stop now) but I was slightly afeared of what I might find down there among the car washes, tattoo parlours, bucket ‘n broom

The Dolphin

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shops and fast food outlets (there was an ominous sign close to our P&O experience that read: we are not a fast food restaurant, we cook as fast as we can). All I wanted was a decent dinner.

Thus, it was with attention to detail that we were greeted when we entered the wide room dominated by a bar lit by low globe lights, and they’d found a spot for us where we could watch the comings and goings. White shirted afteroffice-hours types chatted, a lady to my right wore elegant pearls and sketched an anecdote with balletic hands, but then a bloke in lycra walked his pushbike through causing the bookseller to leer, at the fixie not the fella. He murmured: ‘It’s still a pub, but it is set out like a restaurant.’ Though there was a mix

of Victorian and vintage tables and chairs, the clean colours and wood panelling made it feel uncluttered.

Nothing flash. And no sofas - what a bore it has become sharing the crumbs of strangers. It had the feel of an opening chapter of a Patrick Hamilton novel without the sordid past.

Certainly, it was calm but I was glad I’d made the reservation because every one of those tables was taken. ‘Gorgeous tiles in the loo,’ mused the bookseller, before perusing the wine list and noting that it is a bit gauche to go for the second bottle on the list but did so nonetheless. Our starters came quickly. Unusually, there were more vegetarian choices than meat and fish. In the event the bookseller made an excellent choice with the jellied ham hock terrine: the meat was crumbly and moist, the piccalilli had the requisite fizz that aficionados of the yellow relish will recognise - smeared on thin toasted soda bread the effect was one of complete comfort. My squid with panacetta and red onion was a satisfying flavour combination but with rather too many loose chickpeas to chase round the plate though I did my best.

The reliable mains featured unpretentious standards such as escalope of chicken, slow roasted belly of pork, rump steak and butternut squash risotto. I chose the Shetland mussels with leeks and chips and, being a hog, I was momentarily disappointed by the

That’s Amore portion size but the first mouthful quashed all doubt as my mollusc was orange and fat and kelpy and sooo rich that when dunked in the cream and wine sauce, instantly luxurious and as filling as Belgian truffles.

The bookseller meanwhile was ogling his steak and Guinness pie with indecent interest. Eventually he could resist no longer and whipped out his phone to take a picture to share a little online pastry pornography with the friends that loiter around the cookery section of the shop.

‘And that’s why I have an iPhone,’ he said before showing me the picture.

‘And that’s why the world has food stylists,’ I reply at the result.

Both our dishes were very hot in the molten gravy sense and it took a while for the steam to clear but the peppery insides of the pie tasted as good as the outside looked in real life and the sage roasted root vegetables on the side were doing a sterling job of trying to convert him. Oh, and we had my favourite thinnest of thin, impossible to buy in the shops, green beans again.

PLEASE, where can I get these drugs without going up to New Covent Garden to score at 5.30am?

The plates were cleared and I made the prehistoric joke about the soup tasting thin when they removed the finger bowl. Their restraint was exemplary. We noticed that not many people had so much as moved, let alone departed, since

That’s Amore we arrived and those brass door handles had hardly swung at all.

The Stranglers languidly noodled golden brown, texture like sun while we finished off a plate stacked with cheese and a superb pot of prune conserve. Then the chap looking after us offered to show us the pub yard.

The lights came on as if for a performance and suddenly we were in a sublime walled garden laid out like an Elizabethan folly, large enough to contain those knitted trees one finds on Parisian town squares and not ever in Lewisham, and a dozen or more nooks to laze about in. They put on plays and readings here and even on a cold night there was a sense of thoughtfulness. What a surprise to find such calm at the scrag end of Sydenham.

Then we went north. Up Kirkdale to be precise, to That’s Amore. And not on the same night. This was an emergency. We were starving. The traffic was awful. We had the kids with us. We didn’t phone ahead.

What a contrast. Whereas down the hill was rumination and cultured meditation, up here was a mini-riot.

A vibrant little party of song and art that was reflected in the bright pools of food delivered to us off a refreshingly modest menu for an Italian establishment. My spaghetti came with plump prawns and slices of chilli the size of wedding rings and the progeny positively shovelled down their respective gnocchi and carbonara. I had recently regaled

Karen McLeod, our bookshop writer in residence, with tales of housewives fluttering to the onstage table of that telly cookery pioneer, Graham Kerr, a metaphorical bed if ever there was one, and suddenly here was the bookseller doing a Galloping Gourmet swoon after tasting his crispy Vitello Milanese (which was the size of a flat cap) when he went into a small, local coma.

He was soon shaken out of it though because owner, Gianni, was at his keyboards, to serenade the room with a medley of croon tunes that flushed our cheeks as rosily as the glow from the candles. The kids were genuinely thrilled and without a shred of the usual embarrassment adrift when children are in the same vicinity as adults and entertainment, they tapped and sang along. Spirits remained high when our boy’s lemon sorbet arrived, he exclaimed that it was the ‘coolest ice-cream ever!’ After we paid the bill, we felt as if we should be doing a Christmas party conga out the door, while the street outside seemed very quiet indeed.

Justine Crow The Dolphin Christmas set menu, 3 courses for £19.50 per person, 2 courses for £16.50 www.thedolphinsydenham.com 020 8778 8101 That’s Amore Christmas party menu, appetiser plus 2 courses for £20 020 8291 2901

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The Bookseller JONATHAN MAIN ROUNDS UP A FEW OPTIONS FOR CHRISTMAS BOOK BUYING

H

ands up those of you who are hoping to get a Kindle or an iPad for Christmas to download lots of lovely books on. I thought so. Quite a few of you. I have an iPad myself and I read American magazines on it and comics look great on screen, but you can’t touch them or feel them and it’s unlikely that you will come across them again in fifteen years time packed away in your loft and start leafing through them with nostalgia, maybe take them out and read them again, or even hand them on to your children. We were in France in the summer and decided on a whim to go to Paris for the day. Leaving early on the train from Normandy I downloaded a copy of the Rough Guide to Paris. It was useful for about 15 minutes on the discreetly lit, quiet, French train, but when we got to the capital it was hopeless. I didn’t want to walk around the busy hot

50

streets holding an iPad and it was pretty useless on my iPhone, being too small to read and dependent on, if we were lucky, free Wi-Fi or a chugging and sporadic 3g signal.

And we were in bright sunshine for the whole day too. Anybody who has tried to read an iPad in the sun will know exactly what that means.

A bound copy of the thing would have been so much easier.

I also have a copy of Bullet Park by my favourite novelist John Cheever on my iPhone as a comfort, just in case I’m stranded somewhere without access to a library. In four months I’ve read about ten pages usually when I’ve missed the bus and the next one takes an age to arrive. In addition, as a recent article in The Economist points out; if you own a physical book, in much of the world you can sell it, lend it - or even burn or bury it. You may also keep the book forever. Each

of these characteristics is littered with footnotes and exceptions for ebooks. Rights issues mean that currently ownership of your digital book is a very nebulous thing.

Speaking of John Cheever though, if you’re a fan of Mad Men (and who isn’t) The New York Times said recently, if Mad Men came with a decoder ring it would surely spell out: Read John Cheever.

Hell, when they were married Don and Betty even lived on the fictional Bullet Park Road in the real Ossining which just happened to be Cheever’s home town and the thinly disguised setting for much of his work. His greatest work is the Collected Short Stories (Vintage £12.99) in which you will find the original story of The Swimmer made famous as the Burt Lancaster film of the same name. The novels, also, are all good. Start with The Wapshot Chronicle, and read on.

One of the consequences of publishing's current obsession with turning books into digital files is the tacit but corresponding realisation that books are often given as gifts and that people are willing and indeed will actually choose a nice edition over a paperback (or indeed a digital file). This in turn has led to a welcome revival in attention to detail and design, none more so than the new Penguin Classics series of the novels and stories of F Scott Fitzgerald: printed in hardback on good paper with handsome Deco designed jackets (Penguin Classics £14.99) they make you want to collect the set.

Similarly Hodder have published E M Forster in a special hardback edition including what is easily the best Howards End we’ve ever seen, and we don’t say that every day (Hodder £14.99) Sterling have also imported from America some very handsome leather bound one volume editions, the stars of which are probably The Collected Poems and Prose of Edgar Allen Poe, an edition of Dante with illustrations by Gustave Dore, a lovely pink Alice in Wonderland and a collected Shakespeare that is probably the best one volume edition around (Sterling £25.00) Continuing in the same vein, Puffin have brought out two more volumes of the Moomin stories in hardback gift editions: Moominland in Winter to go with Tales from Moomin Valley published last year (12.99 each). Once again, you will want to collect the set. Further Moomins are celebrated in The Dangerous Journey the last picture

book that Tove Jansson wrote and illustrated, published here with a new verse translation by the poet Sophie Hannah. (Sort of Books 9.99) Pop-up books don’t work too well on the iPad either. 10 Little Penguins by Fromental and Jolivet (Abrams 9.99), the creators of 365 Penguins, is an absolute joy, their total number of penguins diminishing by one each time a page is turned as all manner of fates - whacked by a whale’s tail, fished by a ship’s cook, ejected from a bobsleigh - befall them, until the one remaining penguin hops on a bus to Valparaiso. Not to worry though, there is still a happy ending.

You could hardly have failed to miss the second Crystal Palace Children’s Book Festival last month which was a roaring success thanks to Alex Milway and all of the authors and illustrators who took part - including the splendid Simon of Trevor and Simon fame as master of ceremonies. Swing, indeed, your pants! With any luck and a following wind Alex should have the much anticipated sequel to Operation Robot Storm out in time for Christmas. Don’t forget too, the fabulous Vern and Lettuce by Sarah McIntyre who drew the festival’s poster. Or her label mates The Etherington Brothers who proved to be one of the big hits at the library workshop events. Fred, our 10 year old, gives two thumbs up to their Monkey Nuts: The Diamond Egg of Wonder, perfect as it is for any readers who have exhausted the more familiar Asterix and Tintin (both DFC £9.99) A quick mention too, for old childhood favourite

Richard Scarry with Best Counting Book Ever, The Adventures of Lowly Worm (both £9.99) and especially Busiest Pop-Up Ever! (Golden Books £12.99).

Comics are, of course, for life and not just for Christmas or children, and Best American Comics 2010 edited by Neil Gaiman offers a bumper collection of strips published in the last year (HMH £13.99).

Every year as Christmas approaches talk in the booktrade turns to second guessing what will be this year’s big festive hit, and almost every year it is a book that nobody except perhaps its publisher and author (and often not even them) have given a second thought to.

This year my money is on A History of the World in 100 Objects (Allen Lane £30.00), the book based on the BBC R4 series of the same name

by Neil MacGregor, Director of the British Museum. This is a dense, fascinating, fat, dip-into-able journey from a stone chopping tool to a credit card and solar charger. A bit of posh, as our writer in residence calls it. Or perhaps it will be Just My Type: a Book About Fonts by Simon Garfield (Profile £14.99). I read it recently on holiday in Wales and it’s great. Sample joke: Comic sans walks into a bar and the bartender says ‘we don’t serve your type’.

Boom boom, as Basil, elsewhere is the magazine, might say.

Jonathan Main

51

He’s behind you!

TWO LOCAL THEATRE SOCIETIES GEAR UP FOR XMAS (IN TIGHTS MAINLY) AND THE CROYDON AND BROMLEY BIG GUNS OFFER UP MELINDA MESSENGER AND BASIL BRUSH FOR YOUR DECEMBER DELECTATION

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adies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the Pantomime Season is upon us! Please can you give a big round of applause to two amazing, spectacular local theatre groups who have in store for us some special festive treats.

First in the line up, allow me to introduce to you the St Mark’s Players, a set of amateur dramatists based in South Norwood, that have been blessing us with their annual pantos for over 50 years.

In January 1960 St Mark’s Church youth group put on their first production of Dick Whittington as part of a social fundraising event.

Since then they have raised more than £35,000 in total for local charities and have even been able to fund improvements on their rehearsal hall and build up a collection of costumes, props and scenery.

This year, they will take to the stage with the timely classic Jack and the Beanstalk in support of the St Christopher’s Hospice and the Demelza Children’s Hospice.

As the story goes, the credit crunch has hit Jack and his family hard and the Giant is demanding even higher yearly taxes. Fe-fi-fo-fum!

Christine Foulds, Publicity Officer for SMP, says: ‘There will be six performances of fun for all the family featuring the hapless Jack, Dame Cart Blanche, Buttercup their beloved cow, a handful of magic

52

beans, a larger-than-life beanstalk and a very mean, angry giant at the top of it!

‘There are colourful costumes, lively musical numbers and plenty of audience participation promised when this enchanting family fable comes to life at the Stanley Halls, an uplifting way to see in the New Year for one and all.’

SMP always welcome new members, adults and kids, who show an interest in acting, singing, dancing or getting involved behind the scenes on jobs such as makeup, lighting etc.

Chris Smith-Gilliard, Chairman and Musical Director since 1975, says: ‘The basis of our success has been a sense of fun; putting on a family pantomime with audience participation, slapstick scenes and a storyline aimed at ‘children of all ages’’.

In the summer, the SMP also put on a variety show with an evening of sketches, songs and audience singa-longs.

Straying away from the traditional panto, The South London Theatre, based in the heart of West Norwood, have somewhat of an alternative offer for its audience this year with The Thwarting of Baron Bolligrew by Robert Bolt.

Essentially, this is a play for children but it is always received well by adults who can appreciate the wild

imagination of Bolt’s writing and the humour within.

In short, the story goes as follows….

Having successfully exterminated the weir of dragons infesting the duchy, the Duke and his knights now wish to relax. However our hero, Sir Oblong Fitz Oblong, is not having any of this and demands that they should travel to unpleasant parts of the world to help the poor and needy. In order to avoid this, the Duke and his knights manipulate Oblong into taking on the mantle of a knight errant and dispatch him to the dreaded Bolligrew Isles, where power is shared by the villainous Baron Bolligrew and a dreaded black dragon.

On his gallivanting quest, Oblong encounters a host of characters including two talking magpies, peasants, Squire Blackheart, a Regius Professor of Wickedness and many many more.

The hero will stop for no one in relieving the island of Bolligrew’s tyranny and the dragon. With sword fights and sorcery, it truly is an exciting and magical play, fitting in perfectly with the enchantment of Christmas.

The South London Theatre is a large, well-established, repertory style theatre in an old Victorian fire station built in 1881. The conversion was designed by Owen Luder, President of the Royal Institute of British Architects, as a permanent

Pictures from last years SMP production 'Lost Man's Chest'

home for two local amateur drama societies: Proscenium Players from Sydenham and the Lambeth Players.

The establishment, founded in 1967, has been thriving ever since.

The group aim to produce 22 shows per year for two designated stages within the building, of a variety of genres from Shakespeare to historical plays, modern comedies and new writing.

The theatre operates on the reliability of members, though you do not actually have to be a member to attend a production.

A one-off fee of £30 per annum (£15 concessions) goes toward the running of the establishment.

Benefits include a copy of their monthly magazine with details of forthcoming shows, auditions, events and other club news and as well as special access to in-house workshops and training sessions.

And what’s more, they can also enjoy a drink at the private members club bar or the many social events that are held.

There it is!

Jack and the Beanstalk at The Stanley Halls, S. Norwood, SE25 6AB From January 22-29 January 2011.

Box office: 0208 659 7850 or 07801556713. Tickets cost £7.00 www.smplayers.co.uk

The Thwarting of Baron Bolligrew at Bell Theatre (The South London Theatre), West Norwood, SE27 9NS. From 7-18 December 2010.

Box office: 0208 670 3474. Tickets cost £8.00 (£5.00 concession).

Performances: Saturday 22 January 2.30pm & 7.30pm Sunday 23 January 2.30pm Friday 28 January 7.30pm Saturday 29 January 2.30pm & 7.30pm

Performances: Tuesday 7-Saturday 11 December Tuesday 14-Saturday 18 December 8pm Saturday 11 December Sunday 12 December Saturday 18 December 3pm

South London Theatre's home in West Norwood

So whatever you choose for entertainment this Christmas, just know that in your local area are two talented, enthusiastic groups staging fabulous productions that aren’t to be missed. And why not see what they’re up to the rest of the year too?

Mary Stamm-Clarke 53

BOOM! BOOM! OUR AUDIENCE WITH THE ONE AND ONLY BASIL BRUSH

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ll of us at The Transmitter watched Basil Brush on telly as children many, many years ago. How do you keep your youthful looks? Or are you just a soap and water fox?

I put cucumbers over my eyes and tuna over the rest of my face. It doesn’t make me look any younger, but it does taste good. Of, course, when I was younger I used to use lettuce, tomato and onions - those were my salad days!

Being as debonair and handsome as I am, how could I ever not?

Who is your tailor?

I go to very talented chap in Savile Row. He does all the big stars – Preston, Cheggers, me. I’m currently wearing a shirt made from Italian linen – and the stains on the front are Italian pasta!

Foxes have had some bad press lately, is this fair?

What drew you to the role of Buttons in the forthcoming pantomime production of Cinderella at the Fairfield Halls?

I’ll need to call my Agent to answer that one, and she’s out on a boat in the Caribbean, and they don’t pay me enough to make phonecalls like that!

Two words. Gemma Bissix. But seriously, Buttons is the best role in Cinderella. I get to fall in love with Cinderella – I even get a little kiss and duet with her, heaven!

What’s your favourite snack?

Do you ever get stage fright?

Oh, give me a jelly baby any time.

Except when I’m asleep, I might choke. I do like a bickie too. Those ginger nuts are my favourite. I’m a bit of a ginger nut myself.

I love the theatre nearly as much as I love jelly babies! The only time I remember getting stage fright was when I asked the ice cream seller the way to the shower at the end of the show, I took a wrong turn, ended up on stage in my underpants, singing Tom Jones. I shudder when I think about it.

Who would you invite to your fantasy dinner party?

I’m a well-connected fox these days you know, so it would be hard to pick favourites as I’ve met lots of nice celebs, but I did get on very well with Chris Evans. His hair’s the same colour as mine. Strawberry blonde, well Strawberry orange! I would also like to invite Cheryl Cole, but I think one fox at the table is enough!

Did you see the recent movie of Fantastic Mr. Fox and do you consider yourself the British George Clooney?

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If you weren’t an entertainer, what would you be?

A chimney-sweep.

I love a good wedding and just think how efficient my brush would be.

What’s your favourite joke?

What do reindeer use on their antlers? Styling moose. Boom Boom!

Thankyou!

Basil is starring in Cinderella at the Fairfield Halls, 4 Dec - 3 Jan 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk

BOOM! BOOM! O

nce upon a time, the role of the Genie in Aladdin was one for a chubby (and often balding) comic actor looking to bring a bit of a giggle to the part.

Oh yes they were! Times have changed, and many a Dad in South London will be pleased to hear that if they treat their offspring to a trip to the Churchill Theatre in Bromley this Christmas, it will be the lovely Melinda Messenger appearing out of the magic lantern.

Melinda will be joined by EastEnders star Don Gilet (and no, sorry, we're not going to tell you what his character is called) who, as he's playing the villain of the piece, will probably be the one on the receiving end

GOES OUR EDITOR'S HEART! MELINDA MESSENGER IS IN BROMLEY of most of the Boo! Hiss! action provided by the audience. Top spot goes to CITV star Chris Till who'll be playing the lovable rogue Aladdin himself. Oh yes he will!

The panto season is a brief one, so give the Churchill Theatre a buzz soon to book up for one of their matinee or evening performances.

Or have a go RIGHT NOW at our Transmitter competition and see if you too can create a bit of Christmas Eve magic (watch very carefully as a free family ticket may appear before your very eyes ... ) Aladdin runs from Friday 3 December to Sunday 9 January.

For bookings call the Churchill Theatre Bromley on 0844 871 7620.

WIN ALADDIN TICKETS! For the chance to win a family ticket to see Melinda Messenger in a performance of Aladdin at the Churchill Theatre, Bromley answer the following question: Don Gilet plays the villain Abanazar. But what villain did he play in EastEnders? a) Lucas Jameson b) Lucas Johnson c) Lucas Jacques Email your answer to editor@ thetransmitter (with PANTO in the subject line) by Christmas Eve stating name and contact email/ address. Or on a postcard to: The Bookseller Crow, 50 Westow St, Crystal Palace SE19 3AF (don’t forget your contact details).

Terms & conditions apply. One winner will be drawn randomly from all the correct answers, and the winner notified by the editor.

To see a review of the pantomime, see The Transmitter website after press night on 4 December.

Performance dates 3 Dec – 9 Jan www.ambassadortickets.com 0844 8717627

55

HOBNOBBING

COMEDY AT THE HOB IN FOREST HILL

I

t can’t always be this fragrant in a South London boozer after a heavy weekend but this bar was up and about with no hangovers on display, though on the walls, some distinctly unpubby paintings and posters were. Later on we discussed the pros and cons of the smoking ban but right now it was a godsend.

It seems The Hob was a godsend too. Created out of a group of friends borne out of the Humberside Theatre, Janet Prince established ED Comedy down at the bottom of Lordship Lane as part of plan to bring theatre to an area neglected by the yuppie boom of the 80s (no tube, ya?). The new demographic was writers, musicians and actors unable to afford Clapham and Battersea and somehow Jonathan and I ended up amongst them. No, really. Indeed, we were in the audience in the early days when Prince’s husband Steve Frost gleefully picked on Jon, slapsticking about with his old Oblivion Boy mucker Mark Arden. And on another memorable occasion when the late, much missed Bob Peck appeared with Michael Maloney in Jack Shepherd’s In Lambeth – from darkness the lights went up to reveal not six feet from our faces, two naked bums sitting on a branch, like a pair of pink, well, pears.

Comedian Liam Mullone performs

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If the Hob was the godsend, the guardian angels of ED Comedy must be Emma and Ron Emslie and one of those celestial saviours of irreverent culture is about to enjoy a pint in dimpled glass. ‘It’s not for me..’ Emma smiles as she pours. The amiable Ron joins us at the generous Victorian window seat overlooking the busy bend opposite Forest Hill station and she puts it in front of him.

Twenty years on and as Ron says, ‘We’ve known many of the acts longer than the agents have.’ Finally buying the Hob around 2005 after the company struggled to find a home, ‘since being booted out by the East Dulwich foodies’ adds Emma, it is an extremely important venue on the comedy circuit and one that the performers prefer because as Ron says taking a sip, ‘it feels real’.

It does indeed. We’ve been upstairs on new material night, packed out on a Monday – a Monday! – to be greeted in person by Emma who checks everyone in and who lays out proper cakes in the green room.

‘Customers like to see you around,’ she says and I make the first of several facile comparisons with independent bookselling by remarking that it is just the same with us, at the very point that the brewery phones for the order and Emma drops out of the conversation to dictate an incredible shopping list of alcohol in dizzyingly vast quantities.

‘It’s how comedy should be run,’ says Ron about the personal touch. ‘And it’s closer than the Comedy Store.’

Not to mention cheaper. ‘The all new stand-up comedy on Mondays for three quid is the best value in town.’

As well as new acts and talented stalwarts of the scene (like my buddy Charmian Hughes), sometimes unannounced, they get some pretty famous faces at the top of their stairs when the likes of Sean Hughes, Stuart Lee, Mark Thomas, Dan Kitson, Harry Hill and Bill Bailey pop in to

flex their funny bones. ‘He nearly had someone’s eye out with his alpine horn,’ laughed Ron. Emma is off the phone now, having ordered what seems like nineteen thousand gallons of beer and I want to quip in an Aussie accent: ‘Looks like we’ve over done it with the sherry..’ but given that I am at the home of the comedy club whose headlining Saturday nights are respected countrywide, I suck up the froth on my coffee instead.

Emma reminds me that the Hob is not only all about stand-up. The celebrity pub quiz on Thursdays has had a host of quizmasters including Neil Morrissey and James Nesbitt who get to experience the unusual task of performing to an audience who have their backs to them, and who evidently don’t come for the pay, in the same way that the punters don’t come for the prizes - the quality of which sends Ron chortling into his pint.

They were also voted third best music venue in the Love London awards 2009, beating - this tickled me - the Hammersmith Apollo and Wembley Arena (wouldn’t want to collect the glasses there) and their live gigs on Fridays are free. Emma points out they have other daytime initiatives too such as the screamer’s club for babies under one where mums can come and chill. She reports that they don’t do it for the income: ‘They don’t usually drink much.. Though there was a group that got in a bottle of wine recently,’ implying it was more than just the one. It would never have happened in the old smoke-filled saloon bar days.

‘Best advertisement you can have is a woman in the window reading a book,’ Ron remarks. So I shove myself closer to the glass and look useful.

‘I mean, it’s not Amsterdam. We are on a ruddy red route,’ he mock

scathes but, ‘there are two really useful car parks here in Forest Hill.’

They have a summer and a winter craft fair in the pub showcasing the Havelock Walk artists and crafts people, there’s WiFi, a film club on the last Wednesday of the month and they hire out their space for functions, parties, rehearsals and classes. ‘It is what the room is there for,’ Ron argues. Just like the bookshop, I blather, it’s all good community service. And they nod, their minds no doubt really occupied by the amount of mileage they put in behind the bar and up and down those bloody stairs, not to mention the clearing up after a full house. And they get plenty of those.

But they are clearly looking forward to their traditional New Year’s Eve party when they escort revellers (‘safely..’ warns Ron with a giggle) across the road to watch the fireworks they launch from beside their trademark costumed mannequins on the roof.

As far as running a vibrant place as the Hob is concerned, Ron sighs: ‘If you do it ‘cos you love doing it. Well, then eventually you can enjoy it. If you can stay alive long enough..’

I ask what they used to do, before all this, and they are momentarily non-plussed as if there was never any other life but pulling pints and listening to other people’s gags.

Emma replies that her family were always in the theatrical trade and that she’d even been a magician’s assistant once. I can imagine that as she is quietly glamorous with a reassuring countenance that surely wouldn’t flinch when those knives get thrown.

Ron finishes his ale and says, ‘I did what I do now, I’m an actor.’ He’s just about to start work in a production of Death of a Salesman.

‘Blimey, grown-up stuff,’ I gulp, unable to justify any comparison whatsoever with flogging Dan Brown paperbacks.

‘Yeah,’ he shakes his head in disbelief, ‘grown-up..’

And there’s much hard work and fun to come with appearances from rising stars such as Jack Whitehall. ‘A really lovely boy,’ says Emma ‘He’ll be as big as Michael McIntyre in a couple of years,’ says Ron. When that happens, I hope he doesn’t forget to thank these two guardian angels of stand-up.

But without doubt, those quality performers and happy punters continue to show their appreciation by the barrel load. And the jokes keep coming. www.edcomedy.com The Hob 020 8855 0496

Justine Crow

Comedian Liam Mullone worries (bottom right upstairs window!)

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WHAt's ON

SEND YOUR LISTINGS INFORMATION TO: LISTINGS@THETRANSMITTER.CO.UK

COMEDY The HOB Comedy

FILM Crystal Palace Pictures

opposite Forest Hill station 7 Devonshire Road Forest Hill, SE23 3HE 020 8855 0496

Gypsy Hill Tavern 79 Gipsy Hill, SE19 1QH

Thursday 16 December Christmas Vote

Thursday 2 December

Last year The Transmitter rather spoiled things by announcing the winner of the CPP Christmas film public vote before the votes were counted (because it was so obvious which film would win). We won't do that again because it is silly and annoying. And, anyway, this year we have no idea which film everyone will vote for.

Celebrity Pub Quiz A different comedian as host each week.

Cash prizes & drinks to be won 9pm £2

Saturday 4 December Stand Up Comedy Paul T Eyres mc, Alan Francis, Trevor Lock and Sean Meo 9pm £9/£6concs Late bar

Sunday 5 December A double bill of comedy from Liam Mullone and The Bangor Boys (Simon Lipson & John Voce) In 1974, twins Gareth and Huw Kryzwicki shot to the top of the charts with their seminal single (It's Gonna Be A) Welsh Christmas. They ruled the pop world for a full three and a half minutes minutes.

Three and a half decades later they’re back, better than ever.

Ever wonder what happened to them?

Probably not, but come and find out anyway. Gareth and Huw will provide music, laughs and showbiz anecdotes aplenty. And they’ll be premiering their new single (It's Gonna Be A) World Christmas, just for you, with a stunning light show of indoor fireworks, fire regulations permitting. 8pm £6/£4

Monday 6 December The All New Stand Up Show New act open mic night MC – James Redmond 8pm £3

Thursday 9 December Celebrity Pub Quiz A different comedian as host each week.

Cash prizes & drinks to be won 9pm £2

Saturday 11 December Kids Magic Clown Show Join clowns, FREHD ASTARR & PERCY REVERSEY for an hour of MAGIC, MUSIC & MAYHEM. You may need to waggle your magic fingers high. Shout magic words to the sky Possibly even wiggle your bums Most importantly will have some fun 1pm £4 suitable for ages 4+

60

Liam Mullone (see Hob comedy)

Saturday 11th December Stand Up Comedy Paul T Eyres MC, Tiernan Douieb, Richard Sandling plus guest 9pm £9/£6concs Late bar

Monday 13 December The All New Stand Up Show Headline acts with brand new material MC – Stuart Goldsmith 8pm £3

Thursday 16 December Celebrity Pub Quiz A different comedian as host each week Cash prizes and free drinks to be won 9pm £2

Saturday 18 December Stand Up Comedy James Redmond MC, Kevin Hayes, Ninia Benjamin and Gordon Southern 9pm £9/£6concs Late bar

Mon 20 December The All New Stand Up Show New act open mic night 8pm £3

Thursday 23 December Christmas Celebrity Pub Quiz With Stephen Frost, Andy Smart, Steve Steen and Richard Vranch Cash prizes, free drinks to be won, mulled wine and mince pies 9pm £3

Friday 31 December New Year’s Eve Party Live Music, DJ after 12, free bubbly and Fireworks Tickets £10 in advance (£15 in the door)

Thursday 6 January Four Lions Director:Anthony Fabian Cert12a, 107 mins 2009 7:30 pm - £5 on the door Subversive satirist, Chris Morris, of TV’s “The Day Today” and “Brass Eye” fame, chooses the almost taboo subject matter of Jihadist terrorism for his directorial debut. However, “Four Lions” has more in common with a classic Ealing comedy than one his biting television satires.

The HOB Film Club

BICENTENARY CELEBRATIONS

opposite Forest Hill station 7 Devonshire Road Forest Hill, SE23 3HE 020 8855 0496

Dulwich Picture Gallery Gallery Road, Dulwich SE21 7AD

Wednesday 29 December Film Club (last Weds of the Month) 8pm £4

Screamers Club Films shown exclusively for Mums & Babies 1pm £2

MUSIC Christ’s Chapel, Dulwich Village (next to Dulwich

Picture Gallery)

Gallery Film Dulwich Picture Gallery Gallery Road, Dulwich SE21 7AD All films begin 7.45pm Bar from 7.15pm £8, £6 Friends All tickets available from the Friends Desk or phone 020 8299 8750. For information call 020 8299 8750 or e-mail friendsticketing@dulwichpicturegallery.org.uk

Sunday 5 December Gallery Film for Kids: Swallows and Amazons 3.45 Cert.U 92 minutes Based on Ransome’s family classic. £4

Monday 6 December It’s a Wonderful Life Bar opens at 7.15 programme at 7.45 Cert.U 130 minutes Original feel-good movie and one of the most inspirational US films of all times. £8, £6 Friends

Monday 17 January Katyn (2007) Cert 15 121 minutes Inspired by the real life murder of Wadja’s father the film tells the gripping tale of the offical cover-up surrounding the murder by the Russians of Poland’s military and intellectual elite at Katun in 1940.

Wadja’s film is a moving elegy for a lost generation.

Tuesday 21 December CONCORDIA CHAMBER CHOIR 7 pm enjoy a wonderful Christmas concert in aid of local charity Dulwich Helpline.

Tickets priced at £10 (free for children under 16) are available from Julie John on 020 8670 7465. The evening’s programme will include carols for audience participation and a number of readings. Performances by the choir will include The Lamb (Taverner), Coventry Carol (arr. M. Brown) and O Magnum Mysterium (Victoria).

Contact details: 020 8299 2623; info@ dulwich-helpline.org.uk; www.dulwichhelpline.org.uk

Fayres, Fairs and Fun Holy Trinity Church Lennard Road, Sydenham, SE20 7LX

Saturday 4 December Arts & Crafts Fare 11-4pm Fundraising event for the 10th Penge & Beckenham Scout Group 2011 Jamboree Fund. Stall holders can apply by email alahree@aol.com

The Pavilion Cafe Dulwich Park

Sunday 5 December winter market Choirs, dance groups and a vintage accordion duo, winter barbeque, mulled wine,local craft stalls and face painting.

Other stuff Grape & Grain Anerley Hill, Crystal Palace London SE19 2AA Tel: 0208 778 4109

second Wednesday of every month Crystal Palace Green Drinks

SUNDAY 9 JANUARY AT 12 NOON. BICENTENARY CELEBRATIONS START WITH A BIG BANG! There will be something for everyone: big band sounds and period songs, falconry displays, costume making for the children, a huge birthday cake and the event finishes with a fireworks display at 5.15.

Admission to the Gallery’s permanent collection will be free to all visitors from 11 o’clock with guided tour in the afternoon.

Food and drinks will be available from the Gallery Café and local eateries like Barcelona Tapas, Sea Cow and Luca’s Bakery will be on hand to tempt visitors with delicious food and drinks.

Alex Carter will sing English, French and Italian songs accompanied by Serge Paschnine on the accordion in the Cloisters at 12.00, 1.00pm, 2.00pm and 3.00pm.

Emily Atkinson and Katilin Ertsey perform 16th century songs at 1.30 pm and Suzanne Holmes and Martin Byatt will delight with American evergreens at 3.30in the Gallery. Local big bands will set the tone at 4.45 until 5.15 as a prelude to the Grand Fireworks at 5.15

p u b l i c

h o u

s e

Xmas Ale Festival

10th, 11th & 12th December 2010

The Old Nuns Head 15 Nunhead Green, London, SE15 3QQ 020 7639 4007 www.theoldnunshead.co.uk 8 xmas ales from around the country

and 4&traditional ciders.

10th, 11th 12th December Friday 10th from 6pm

Christmas specials menu Xmas Ale Festival DJ from 9.00pm

CONTACT DETAILS

15 Nunhead Green, London, SE15 3QQ 020 7639 4007 www.theoldnunshead.co.uk From 3.00pm music from our very own ‘Andy Hank Dog’ Kids face painting

Saturday 11th from midday

Friday 10th from 6pmTRANSPORT INFO

tubes: Honor Oak Park Saturday 12th from midday Christmas specials menu Nearest or Brockley (15 mins walk) Sunday lunch Kids face painting Nearest rail: Peckham Rye (10 mins walk), DJ10% from 9.00pm DISCOUNT FOR CAMARA MEMBERS! Nunhead (5 mins walk) Local buses: P12, 78

Saturday 11th from midday From 3.00pm music from our very own ‘Andy Hank Dog’ Kids face painting

Saturday 12th from midday Sunday lunch Kids face painting Nearest tubes: Honor Oak Park or Brockley (15 mins walk) Nearest rail: Peckham Rye (10 mins walk), 10% DISCOUNT FOR CAMARA MEMBERS! Nunhead (5 mins walk) Local buses: P12, 78

61

NEPALESE & INDIAN CUISINE Come and enjoy real Nepalese food in our restaurant, through our takeaway service and also our door-to-door delivery service.

La To place your advert email sales@thetransmitter.co.uk or call: 020 8771 5543

107 Church Road, Crystal Palace. SE19 2PR

020 8771 6898 / 5522 www.yakyeti.co.uk

SOUTH NORWOOD WOMEN’S COUNSELLING PRACTICE Counselling service for women Free Initial Session Sliding scale fees 020 8768 1366 – 07903 598324 London SE25 6PB www.womencounsellingpractice. counselling.co.uk mayanayake1@talktalk.net

THIS IS YOU This is the size of the advert

46.3mm X 46.3mm only £40 per issue

YOUR MESSAGE Tel: 020 8771 5543

www.yourbusinessweb.co.uk

62

To place your advert email sales@thetransmitter.co.uk or call: 020 8771 5543

Directoire...

Great Norwood Logs Seasoned Hardwood Free Local Delivery

07921 861 876 www.greatnorwoodlogs.co.uk Winter warmth to your door

Therapy at No.7

www.laurencechandler.co.uk

Manual Lymphatic Drainage Face and Body Treatment Zero Balancing Reflexology Tel: 0208 670 3278 Mobile: 07941 528458 tanga@numberseven.info www.numberseven.info

Local Professional Business Accountants and Tax Advisors

Accountants Tax & Business Advisors Based in Crystal Palace Free Initial Consultation Laurence Chandler Associates

Tel: 020 8339 7162

7 Giles Coppice Dulwich SE19 1XF

5 Rhythms

YOGA

Every Tuesday 8-10pm

Strength and Release Breath and Stillness

Creative Movement and Dance with Emma Leech

The Fitness Factory HSBC Sports and Social Club Lennard Road Beckenham BR3 1QW www.emmadance.co.uk

07984 593 276

One to one and classes All levels welcome 07931 512394 www.gabriellemcnaughton.co.uk

LONDON SHEDS & FENCING Registered Osteopaths BACK & NECK PAIN SPECIALISTS

All types of sheds/fencing supplied and erected

0771 943 2025

SHEDS – DECKING PATIOS – WENDY HOUSES

virginia@osteopathcrystalpalace.co.uk www.osteopathcrystalpalace.co.uk

Tel: Andy 07830 324 841

MASSAGE Holistic, Deep Tissue, Sports & Pregnancy

t

07815 742 266

www.themassagepractice.co.uk

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Editor Andrew Pontin

Editorial Team Jonathan Main Hannah McEwen Annette Prosser

DON'T MISS ANOTHER ISSUE!

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A RIVER

RETURN OF THE SUNDAY LUNCH

RUNS UNDER IT Andrew Rumsey’s river music

A run down of the best roasts in the area

THE MAGAZINE FOR SE LONDON

THE MAGAZINE FOR SE LONDON

ISSUE 4 FEB 2009

WHITE HOT

Tales of scuba diving and girls in wet suits

GALLOPING GOURMET Nadia Sawalha is back in the kitchen

ART

Local gifts galore!

AT THE DULWICH PICTURE GALLERY

FASHION ON DINO ISLAND

BOWLED OVER!

YOU WILL BE!

BY YOUR ALL NEW LOCAL MAGAZINE!

KIDS COMPETITIONS INSIDE!

1

Penge, Palace, Paris, Pubs...

GOOD VIBRATIONS

KAREN MCLEOD SHARES HER FANTASIES

KIDS COMPETITION INSIDE!

1

KIDS COMPETITION INSIDE!

Who are The Bellydwellers?

ISSUE 9 DEC 2009

ISSUE 8 OCT 2009

a South East London magazine FREE! produced by

Local Talent

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OF THE

RESTAURATEUR EFUSIO TALKS

WINNER • BEST MAGAZINE • 1994 CANNES MAG FESTIVAL

Valentine’s Jewellery

RETURN

CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

AUTHOR ALEX MILWAY TALKS ABOUT HIS WORLD

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ISSUE 7 AUG 2009

THE MAGAZINE FOR SE LONDON www.thetransmitter.co.uk

YOGA PILATES CYCLING BELLY DANCING

COOKING

with Celebrity MasterChef Winner Nadia Sawalha

COMPETITIONS INSIDE! Win books! photoshoots!!

BUGS LIFE

RADIO 4’S RICHARD JONES TALKS CREEPY CRAWLIES

BEESINES PAGES How to make honey in the city

FOOD

FILM ISSUE KEN RUSSELL PETER EVANS TOM CRUISE IAN GLEN NICOLE KIDMAN NADIM SAWALHA ALBERT'S TABLE LOCAL FASHION LOCAL CINEMA LOCAL SHOPS LOCAL BOOKS and BRUCE WILLIS

With Celebrity MasterChef Winner NADIA SAWALHA

GARDEN GLAMOUR DRESSED TO KILL ON THE ALLOTMENT

What lurks beneath the White Hart?

THE TRUTH IS DOWN THERE...

TRANSMISSION PUBLICATIONS AND THE OUTSIDERS PRESENTS A SOUTH EAST LONDON MAGAZINE THE TRANSMITTER EDITED BY ANDY PONTIN SUB EDITED BY JONATHAN MAIN, ANNETTE PROSSER DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY ANDY PONTIN FASHION BY LIZ CLAMP WINE BY MICHAEL EYRE RECIPES BY NADIA SAWALHA STORY BY PETER EVANS MUSIC BY HOWARD MALE FOOD BY JUSTINE CROW GARDENS BY SUE WILLIAMS MODELLING BY FLIC, LIV & GEORGINA LAYOUT GURU SIMON SHARVILLE ADVERTISING BY LOCAL BUSINESSES FILMING BY DOGHOUSEFILMS

Ghost Stories!

Present Tense

Our Guide to Local Christmas Shopping

THE X-MAS FILES

stockists Stockist information for fashion pages.

Allbone and Trimit The Overspill 4 Coopers Yard, Crystal Palace SE19 1TN 07764 196 284 www.allboneandtrimit.co.uk Cenci 4, Nettlefold Place, West Norwood, SE27 0JW 020 8766 8564 www.cenci.co.uk Coconut Trading 73-75 Church Road, Crystal Palace SE19 2TA 020 8771 0700 Et Pourquoi Pas? 45 Westow Street, Crystal Palace SE19 3RW fortyseven 47a Westow Street, Crystal Palace SE19 3RW 020 8771 7170 www.fortysevenhair.co.uk Frankie and Lola 16 Westow Street, Crystal Palace SE19 3AH 020 8771 7719 www.frankieandlola.co.uk Glitter and Twisted 25 Westow Street, Crystal Palace SE19 3RY 020 8771 9493 Grand Bay Boutique 23 Westow Street, Crystal Palace SE19 3RY 020 8653 9347 www.grandbayboutique.co.uk Myjumbie 83 Church Road, Crystal Palace, SE19 2TA www.myjumbie.com Popiel Dutch Bike Specialist 1 Westow Street SE19 3RY 020 3441 5298 www.popiel.co.uk Smash Bang Wallop 40 Westow Street, Crystal Palace SE19 3AH 020 8771 5517 www.smashbangwallop.co.uk Vintagehart (at the White Hart pub) 96 Church Road Crystal Palace SE19 2EZ 07949 552926 or 07982 184657

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Capel Manor College nuary 2011 Enrol now – starting Ja

Garden Expert Starts Friday 14 January Fridays 9:00am–4:00pm This course is ideal for avid amateurs and those keen to explore a career in professional horticulture. The course offers theory, practical knowledge and hands-on experience on the preparation of site, planting and maintenance of a wide range of ornamental garden plants. The course runs one day a week for 25 weeks.

Successful students will achieve the NPTC Level 2 Extended Certificate in Horticulture, and can progress onto other full or part-time courses at Capel Manor.

To enrol contact us today on 08456 122122 or email enquiries@capel.ac.uk.

Capel Manor College Crystal Palace Park Ledrington Road SE19 2BS Tel 020 8778 5572 www.capel.ac.uk

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