The SEMI, Spring 14.4

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semi spring 14.4


semi-coherent Editor’s Notes I once heard a pastor remark that the great debate over women in pastoral ministry was the church controversy of the previous generation. I don’t think that’s entirely correct. Sure, maybe the issue was at its peak in my parent’s day, but many of my sisters in Christ are still struggling with this today. The most tempestuous part of the debate is over, but women across the globe are still excluded from certain ministries. Or, perhaps better put, excluded from certain positions of power: we won’t let a woman receive the title of “pastor,” but we will let her do all the work of a pastor under the title of “director.” At one of my former churches where women were forbidden to preach, the best preacher was the youth pastor’s wife. Though she was allowed to “offer communion reflections,” her God-given gifts were denied by not being allowed to properly take the pulpit. This is unacceptable. It is clear that the debate is far from over; our generation is still wrestling with it. Thus, the SEMI is revisiting the issue that many of us thought, “Haven’t we already finished this?” Apparently not. The stories in this SEMI are here to push us onward, to help us see how believers are still affected by this, to help us think about how to approach the topic with love. For further research and to explore the history, theology, and biblical precedence for women in ministry, please visit: www.fuller.edu/womeninministry This issue also sees our continued series “At the Intersection of Science and Faith,” featuring an article by astrophysicist Dr. Deb Shepherd, now an MDiv candidate at Fuller and the organizer of the science and faith lecture advertised on our back cover. As always, we pray this issue finds you well and leaves you better.

Reed Metcalf Editor

corrections: •In Spring 14.2, there were several errors in our interview with Vanessa Carter (“A Christian Perspective on Environmental Justice”). Our electronic issue has the corrected transcript. •In Spring 14.3, Offerings, we failed to give proper credit for our cover art, which was produced by alumna Kristen Butelo. •In Spring 14.3, Offerings, part of Rebecca Testrake’s painting, The Call, was cropped without permission.

the SEMI

letters to the editor

Managing Editor Carmen Valdes Editor Reed Medcalf Production Editor Rachel Paprocki

The SEMI welcomes brief responses to its articles and comentaries on issues relevant to the Fuller community. All submissions must include the author’s name and contact information and are subject to editing.

legal jargon The SEMI is published every other week as a service of the Fuller community by the Office of Student Affairs at Fuller Theological Seminar. Articles and comentaries do not necessarily reflect the views of the Fuller administration or the SEMI.

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write for us

You read that correctly. Email us at semi@fuller.edu to add your voice to the SEMI.


in this issue 4 8 12 17 20 22

Elizabeth Leu offers some exegesis and practical suggestions that advocate for female presence in church leadership beyond academia and helping ministries. Mara Title shares her path to military chaplaincy.

Clare Ferguson identifies a colorful metaphor that convinces and convicts her to follow her call to ministry. Deb Shepherd contributes to the latest installment of the SEMI’s exploration of the intersection of science and faith. Shepherd’s first career as an astrophysicist sheds some holy light on her discoveries of the Divine. Laura Rector offers her thanks and momentary goodbyes to Dr. Glen Stassen. The Fuller community invites its members to serve.

“We don’t have to keep them separate as if one cannot and should not inform the other.”

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Deb Shepherd’s insights on the relationship between natural science and theology (p. 17) also illuminate the relathionship amongst genders in the church where leadership is concerned.

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Authority

+

Identity

a personal journey to pastoral ministry BY ELIZABETH LEU After volunteering and working at my home church in Texas for six years, I finally decided to move to Pasadena for seminary. My church was a good church with kind people, people who loved God and dedicated their lives to follow and serve Jesus. That church nurtured me, formed my theological knowledge, and trained me to lead a life of discipleship. They affirmed my calling to be a full-time minister and supported me financially. I loved and appreciated my church. Yet, with all the excitement of coming to seminary, I left Houston with a big question: “What is the role of women in the church?” Though I worked with the young adult and youth ministry, I always felt a bit of confusion about my role. We took the Bible very seriously and made sure that we obeyed 1 Timothy 2. Women were not allowed to teach men, so there were no women preaching on Sundays nor teaching adult Sunday schools. There were two female “ministers:” the missions minister and children’s minister. They were not allowed to be called “pastors.” A week before I left Houston, the lead pastor called me to his office. He reminded me of two things: I am a woman and I need to obey the teaching of the Bible seriously. “Even if you get your MDiv, you are still not allowed to teach or to exercise authority over a man,” he said to me.

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The feeling of confusion did not just come but the core issue was that I struggled with from my own church, but from the larger my identity as a woman called to lead and evangelical Christian culture. Well-known to pastor. evangelical pastors, such as John Piper, would describe “authority” as the divine calling of Throughout my seminary life, I tried very spiritual, gifted men to take primary responhard to understand what it means to be a sibility as leaders in the church. Women take leader, a preacher, a pastor or a theologian. In the subordinate the evangelical roles. In church Christian cul“even if you get your mdiv, women can ture as well the you are still not allowed to teach serve in many or to exercise authority over a man.” “secular” culways, but the ture, the leaderoffice of leadership and teaching of men is ship roles are usually male. I often wonder preserved for spiritual and godly men. I spent how to be “me” while being a leader. During most of my life in Texas, and I had not seen my first year at Fuller, I had the chance to many female pastors who were not children participate in an informal preaching practior youth pastors. cum led by Dr. Ken Fong. He shared his journey of becoming a preacher with us, There I was: completely confident that God and he encouraged us to envision ourselves led me to Fuller, feeling called to serve in the preaching on the stage. I completely could church, but experiencing complete confunot understand what he meant. At the time, sion and discouragement for being a woman. most preachers I had seen were male, and I had never seen a female preacher preaching At Fuller, my first class was Christian Ethics to men. (Obviously there were men in that with Dr. Glen Stassen. He was the first perinformal preaching practicum.) Not to menson who asked me, “What is your experience tion that in the back of my mind, I was still in church as a woman?” With lots of conwondering if a woman should be preaching fusion about my identity, I could not even to men. begin to talk about my experience. Yet, that started my journey of discerning my vocaNot seeing enough Christian female leadtion as a woman called to ministry. ers really confused me about being a leader. Because most Christian leaders were male, I Tod Bolsinger, Fuller’s new Vice President of had a very masculine view of Christian leadVocation and Formation, has said that vocaership. The misconception is that Christian tion comes from one’s identity. Vocational leadership has a masculine nuance, so I wordiscernment is ried about my an extension of I struggled with my identity as a woman feminine apcalled to lead and to pastor. one’s awareness pearance and of God’s work my feminine in that person’s life and in who God made behavior. I used to feel that I needed to look us to be. The core identity is closely conor act “masculine” in order to have a seat at nected to the calling and vocation. During the table. my first three years at Fuller, I often experienced feeling lost and confused.... I often With some sort of unknown fear, I cautiously begin to work on the passages that troubled thought, “I’m not sure what to do with my me: Genesis 1-2, 1 Corinthians 14, and 1 life” or “I’m not sure why I am here getting Timothy 2. It was a weird type of fear. It’s my MDiv....” There were other reasons that kind of like you broke up with a friend and I struggled with my vocational discernment, 5


I cautiously began to work on the passages that troubled me: Genesis 1-2, 1 Corinthians 14, and 1 Timothy 2

wanted to reconcile with her/him, but you are afraid to reach out because you don’t want to be rejected. I was afraid of being rejected or denied by God’s word.

1 Timothy 2:8–15 is the passage in the New Testament most used to oppose women preaching, teaching and leadership ministries in the church. The passage of 8-15 need to be read and interpreted within the same context. In most cases, 8-10 and 15 are interpreted as culturally bound, and we need to treat 11-12 with same critical understanding. If someone understands 11-14 as transcultural and apply it literally to the church, then one should also interpret, teach and apply 8-10 and 15 with the same manner.

In Genesis, man (‘adam), a generic term meaning the “human person,” is created in God’s very own image (Genesis 1:26–27; 5:1–2). This creation in God’s image in- i was afraid of being rejected In addition, the by God’s word cludes the identifiterm translated “to cation of persons as have authority,” both male and female. There is no suggestion αὐθεντεῖν, occurs only here in the New Tesof male headship or female submission. This tament. It is a word that is rarely used in the mutuality means that both the man and the Greek language, and it is not the usual word woman together are in charge with responsifor positive, active authority. It is a different bility for all of God’s creation (Genesis 1:26, from ἐπίσκοπον that describes church over28). The act of “naming” or demonstration seers in Acts 20:28, Philippians 1:1, 1 Timof headship of man over woman does not othy 3:2, Titus 1:7 and 1 Peter 2:25. Rather, happen until after the Fall when “Adam αὐθεντεῖν is a negative term referring to the named his wife Eve”(Genesis 3:20). Genewrongful and abuse of authority. Therefore, sis 2 indicates that the woman partner with the prohibition is against some abusive acthe man as an appropriate “helper” (Genesis tivity rather than the appropriate exercise of 2:18). The word “helper” (‘ezer) otherwise teaching and authority in the church. always refers to God (in 29 places) except one reference to David. Therefore, the word In addition to some of my exegetical work, “helper” is not an expression of submission I have learned more about women’s role in and service to man but of helper who serves church through my classes. The communiGod with man. ty here supported me to faithfully pursuing the call. During my first three years, we had 1 Corinthians 14:34–35 is often used as an several events related argument against to women in minisThe prohibition is against women preaching, abusive activity, rather than the try where seasoned teaching, and lead- appropriate exercise of authority female ministers ing in the church. shared their personal However, it is necessary to mention that Paul journeys. I started having conversations with has already indicated in the letter that womother male and female students on this topen did participate in prayer and prophecy ic. By sharing our stories with one another, with the authority in the church. Hence, 1 we became that support system to encourage Corinthians 14:34–35 needs to be interpreteach other in pursuing God. ed based on the specific cultural context. It cannot be understood as a general prohibition on women speaking in church. 6


As we wrestle with how to advocate for female leadership in churches, here are some things that can be helpful:

language Inclusive language is really helpful. It may not come naturally to some, but inclusive language does affirm the humanity of women. On the opposite end, patriarchal teaching can be very abusive to women. It promotes sexism and creates a form of oppression and injustice. As you might tell from my story, the patriarchal culture in the evangelical church made me feel ashamed to acknowledge my humanity as a woman.

opportunities + affirmation Something that helped me develop my leadership skills were opportunities to lead. I hope the leaders in the church encourage females to lead as well as to affirm their leadership.

openness There are stereotypes and misconceptions about female pastors. These create barriers and misunderstanding of both men and women. Often the conversation on gender roles tends to divide into two ways. In order to bridge the gap, there needs to be safe space for conversations to happen. Looking back, Fuller is the right place God has called me to. Over the past few years, I’ve gotten to know more and more female teachers, pastors, theologians, and all other types of Christian leaders, and I found female role models and mentors who invest in me. I came to understand and own up the call God is giving me, and I am finally at a place to say that I am confident to become a pastor, whether in the church or outside the church. This is a larger picture than my own story. The church and the world needs more female Christian leaders, teachers, preachers, and pastors, so both men and women see a better view of the new creation of the gospel where we are reconciled with God and with each other as true human beings. for more resources on women in ministry, visit http://www.fuller.edu/womeninministry/

Elizabeth Leu, MDiv 14, has a SIS-soul. She loves to travel and to learn/experience different cultures. She cares deeply about racial reconciliation, social justice issues and spiritual formation. After serving at a couple multicultural churches, she feels nothing gives her more fulfillment other than leading/pastoring in a multicultural context. Outside of studying theology and ministry, she takes naps, goes to art museums, watches films and cooks for people she cares about.

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A UNIQUE AND W From the time I can remember, I have always wanted people to know God. I relished in any opportunity to speak to people about him. I grew up in a home environment where my parents relied wholeheartedly on him--they didn’t have a choice. My parents left the big city in Southern California when I was eight to embark on a journey; my dad would leave his job in sales and my mom would leave hers at a Christian radio station so they could pastor a small country church in Lindcove, California, located in the San Joaquin Valley. 8

I’m 32 years old now, and I am still gleaning the significance of their decision to move to the foothills of the Sequoia National Park. I am still amazed at the spiritual character and integrity of the people I am fortunate to call my own parents. Both of them lived with the conviction that if God was truly for them, no one could be against them. Rooted in the love of the Holy Spirit, they were both intent on conveying a gospel message full of hope, encouragement and love amidst a religious climate that could often be incredibly judgmental, rule-bound, and un-loving. It was in


WONDROUS call one woman’s pursuit of air force chaplaincy BY MARA TITLE

this home environment that I would come to tangibly depend on Christ as my only true hope in this world. After college at the University of the Pacific, I wasn’t quite sure where God was leading me. I pursued jobs in politics, journalism, marketing, and even as a tour guide driver throughout the Western U.S., but nothing seemed fitting, and many doors closed. And then one day the thought of the military came into the picture. My mom’s work was having an open house, and her boss’ son and

his fiancée attended, having just deployed to Iraq as Air Force officers. People were coming up to them thanking them for their service, and some were quite emotional. I wondered if there was anything I could do to help; but as an English Literature major, I wasn’t quite sure there would be anything that suited me. I would soon find out the Air Force had career fields in broadcasting and public affairs. I had done an internship in London working for NBC News my junior year in college, but was quickly disheartened when I realized the 9


producer had the last say for all stories, and would frequently change them to suit his or her own purposes. I liked the idea of getting to highlight what men and women were doing in the military--the jobs they were performing, where they were deploying, and the various missions they were serving. So after months of waiting for one of the 18 new broadcaster positions to open, I went off to Basic Training at Lackland Air Force Base in Texas.

my co-workers had come from Vietnam, and said he wanted to give back to a country that had provided his family freedom. When I was stationed in the Azores, one of our staff sergeants had won the lottery in Nigeria to come to the U.S., and decided he wanted to provide for his family by joining. He was our top news writer for our base newsletter, and won several Air Force awards. Also in the Azores, there were four local nationals who worked just in my Public Affairs office. Even though it was a joint base, which we shared As I look back, Basic Training humbled and with the Azoreans, the Air Force employed changed me in many ways. I had to depend hundreds of Azorean civilians. One of my on my faith in God like never before. Prior closest friends when I was stationed in Gerto Basic, I was working many was a German at a local department woman who worked I was thankful for the experiences God store while living with in our front office, who allowed me to have, my parents, countI still keep in contact but felt called to ministry ing down nine long with. in some way. months before I would leave and begin this As someone who had new chapter in my life. never had any exposure Even though my recruiters tried to inform me to military life prior to joining in Novemas best as possible, there is no way to prepare ber 2005, I became passionate about serving for an extended period of time where every alongside other men and women who made minute of the day is accounted for and you major sacrifices in their lives to defend this are suddenly a minor part of a much larger country. As a Christian, I certainly agree that entity. But I needed this experience. My eyes my allegiance is to God, and not the specific needed to be opened to the reality that there borders that define the United States. But afare people training night and day to protect ter hearing countless stories from people who the freedoms I hold dear. have left communist countries or deplorable living conditions to come to the U.S., and While stationed at Ramstein Air Base in Gernow feel led to serve in the military to protect many, God allowed me to travel to Ghana their rights as free citizens, I am humbled by and Bosnia with Air Force News, covering the freedoms I have in this country, especially humanitarian missions in remote areas. I as a female. When I attended an air show at watched as thousands of people lined up to reWaterkloof Air Force Base in Pretoria, South ceive medical care--many who had never seen Africa, I was asked to take several pictures a doctor--and were given glasses, had teeth with various women, some of whom told me pulled, or were taken elsewhere for surgery. they had wanted to serve in the military, but Teams went out with the Ghanaian military were not given the choice. So when I wear to inspect water, as well as give out clothes the uniform, among other things, it repand gifts for the children. This was certainly resents for me a profound sense of freedom. an aspect of the Air Force I never expected to see. But what I also found was incredible When I decided to separate from the Air diversity among the people I worked with. Force in 2012, it was because I felt like someWhen I was stationed in Los Angeles, one of thing was missing. I was thankful for the ex10


Providing encouragement and solace in God’s love for [disillusioned young women] was a high I had never experienced.

I knew I had found my true calling.

periences and the opportunities God allowed me to have, but felt called to ministry in some way. After several months as a student at Fuller, I began to realize how unique my experiences were in the Air Force. During my time in, I had seriously considered the idea of chaplaincy, but this time around seemed to be God’s specific timing. I believe he calls us to very specific communities, and I realized my understanding of the climate of Air Force culture would allow me to relate and serve people better in that environment. There are roughly 52 female chaplains, and 760 male chaplains in the Air Force (Active Duty and Reserve), so I hope to provide a female presence that is needed, and I feel God has been preparing me for this. During my internship at Lake Avenue Church here in Pasadena, week after week God was bringing young women into my path who were desperate to hear about his love for them. Disillusioned by family members and so-called friends who had manipulated and abused them, they were looking for true hope. Getting the opportunity to provide encouragement and solace in God’s love for them was a high I had never experienced. I knew I had found my true calling. I am currently a Chaplain Candidate in the Air Force, and will attend training this sum-

mer. I have never been more excited than I am to pursue chaplaincy. The road will be challenging, but God is faithful. During my time in the Air Force, he worked out countless situations, and the reward was seeing the tangibility of his love in concrete ways. Although I am an ambassador for the Air Force and for the United States as a military officer, I am first and foremost God’s ambassador to lead people directly to him. The biggest tragedy of all is the reticence many people display in acknowledging they even need God. At the end of the day, my hope derives from knowing he will lead my path, and I am honored to help bring his kingdom to people who desperately need it.

Mara Title is a veteran of the United States Air Force, having served as a broadcast producer for Air Force News, as well as a Public Affairs officer. Her last assignment was at Lajes Air Base in Azores, Portugal. Today she is a MDiv student and a Chaplain Candidate for the Air Force, looking to graduate from Fuller in June 2015.

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More Than BY CLARE FERGUSON

As a community it may seem that Fuller has settled the women in ministry question with a resounding “Of course!” There’s even a whole section of our website dedicated to the theological support for it (www.fuller.edu/ womeninministry). Isn’t that conversation over? Why bring up the issue of whether females should be allowed to be pastors again? So much has already been said on the topic by theologians and seasoned pastors. I even wondered in writing this: “What can I contribute?” Another article on the topic seems to belabor the point. Unfortunately, this is not the case. I’ve recognized through my own journey that there’s more to accepting my calling than getting the theology articulated just right. My family, culture and church all played a role in how I understood my calling. The conversation is not over because women are being called within particular family dynamics, denominations, and cultures that can create barriers to their response to God’s calling and acceptance of the gifts God has given them. God is constantly moving in the lives of women who are still in the mix of these opposing forces. It’s important to keep talking about women in church leadership because they need to hear a different story than the one they’ve been told. As pastors preparing to serve the body of Christ and empower the people of God we must be able to address

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Just Hot Air

the complexities that women face as they step out in boldness to lead in the church. We need to discern what issues hinder a particular person from following the Spirit into ministry leadership.

I think an article about women in ministry would be incomplete without sharing my own journey of accepting a calling. I share it mostly because I know these stories have power. It was in the midst of hearing another woman’s story that God interjected into my own. By sharing my story I am contributing to the testimonies of the great cloud of witnesses who have journeyed before me. Women in scripture have been discounted, unnamed, or voiceless, but I have the opportunity to share my story of God’s Spirit at work in my life. I pray that my own story will encourage others who are discerning their calling in the midst of families, churches, and cultures that oppose women in church leadership. So here goes. I had my first experience of calling when I was a sophomore in high school. I was in the midst of a Christian concert with my youth group. I felt like God was calling me to ministry. I was so excited I went to my youth

pastor at the time and shared my experiences with him. When I expressed what I felt was a calling from God he replied, “That’s great, but if you change your mind later that’s ok too.” Instead of finding someone who encouraged and empowered me to faithfully response to God’s leading, I was told not to take it too seriously. Then there was the time my mother critiqued a botched wedding ceremony officiated by a woman saying, ‘Well, It just goes to show that women shouldn’t be pastors.” Terrible logic, but as a child the message was clear that if I was called to something, it definitely wasn’t going to be a pastor. My struggle with accepting a call to ministry was not the messages I was receiving from scripture about where I might be gifted to serve. They were the external influences in my life from family and church that told me whatever I was discerning as a youth, it definitely wasn’t a call to pastoral ministry. My denominational upbringing was no less complex. I went to a United Methodist church where women were ordained but seldom in senior pastor roles. They were affirming in word, but unsupportive in practice. I also attended a Southern Baptist high school that was adamantly opposed to women in

It’s important to keep talking about women in church leadership because they need to hear a different story than the one they’ve been told. 13


pastoral leadership. In both places there were few women to look up to or mentor me in my own discernment of calling.

good measure I paid extra money for them to be filled with a chemical to make them float longer. I had the balloons floating in my house for over a week after the party. The purI went to college with no intention of chase seemed so inconsequential at the time. working within the I had no idea that these things were meant to be church. If there was this purchase would held together. a place for me in become instrumenit was the collection ministry it had to tal in understanding that kept me afloat be in another setmy call to ministry. ting. After completing my undergraduate The shift happened while I was meeting with degree I worked in the nonprofit sector for one of my pastors. She was sharing the stoa few years. I worked in community develry of how she felt lead to pastoral ministry opment and ran a soup kitchen. I enjoyed through a number of accumulating circumthe work, but I wanted to spend more time stances. As I listened to her story I imagined studying the theological foundation for what those dozen balloons floating above my head I was doing. I discovered Fuller’s School of with their ribbons hanging all around me. Intercultural Studies and enrolled in fall of Then, I grasped hold of the tangle of strings 2012. It took one quarter in my Biblical and brought them into one big balloon bouStudies class to convince me that I wanted quet. It was a simple picture, but I was deeply more of it. I quickly changed to the Master moved by it. of Divinity still with the intention of returning to nonprofit work. Changing programs When I remembered the birthday balloons I was challenging and enriching. I had come sensed that it represented my calling to minto Fuller with a good idea of what I planned istry. For me, each one of these balloons was for after I finished, but it wasn’t until recently an experience, a passion, scripture, or revelathat my perspective on the possibility of my tion I’d had over the course of my life. At the calling expanded from nonprofit work to the time I had recognized each one to be individchurch. ually significant, but through the picture of my balloon bouquet I realized these things This particular shift took place around my were meant to be held together. Each one birthday. I was having a party with some played a part in what made up my ministry friends and wanted something special. As a calling: my nonprofit experience, my love for graduate student on a minimum budget I hospitality and the church, my diverse debargained with myself that spending money nominational background, my strengths and on balloons was gratuitous, but that type of even my weaknesses. It was the collection of spending was allowed for birthdays. So that’s the balloons that kept me afloat. Seeing this exactly what I did. I bought myself a dozen image while listening to my pastor’s story or so multicolored balloons. In fact, just for helped me realize that there might be a place

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for all of these passions to fit within a pastoral ministry setting.

In my own journey I have benefited most from those who recognize my gifts and empower me to lead out of them. First they lisAs I have stepped into the new understandtened to how God is moving in my life, and ing, I have questioned why I didn’t recognize then helped me discern its implications for this calling earlier. Maybe it was because in ministry. They have also ensured that I had many small ways I the support of other if we’re honest, there’s still was dissuaded from women mentors to considering the opguide me as I grew plenty of work to be done tion. It wasn’t a as a minister. These theological concern; it was the other voices people acknowledge with me that my gender and experiences that kept me from seeing it plays a role in how I relate and how others as a possibility for my own life. I tell my story relate with me. because I know I am not the only one who’s wrestled through these external influences in So I encourage you not to assume the issue discerning vocation. I hope that in sharing a is settled. Keep having the conversations and bit of my own process of discernment others telling women’s stories. These narratives help might be encouraged in their own journey. us envision a new community where women are not just contained to minister in limited So how can we remove obstacles preventing supportive roles, but empowered to lead women from believing there is a place for faith communities in a faithful responses to them in leadership? It is a complex quesGod’s restorative work in the world for all tion because it’s not just about a particular people through Jesus Christ. denomination’s theological stance. The question addresses how we enable our male and female church members to lead. It requires us to look at our implicit ways of decision making and who is actually represented in leadership roles in our congregations. It’s important to keep addressing the topic of women in ministry because, if we’re honest, there’s still plenty of work to be done. Discernment is a key to recognizing what barriers could be Clare Ferguson (MDiv ’15) is a Texan who transplanted holding someone back from ministry. Is this to California in Fall 2012. She began at Fuller as a issue predominately a theological concern, MATM student after working in community developcultural, or personal? How can we as pasment. Since her transition to MDiv she’s found a happy middle ground using her elective space for SIS classes. tors, mentors, and friends support women When she’s not studying or working, Clare enjoys yoga, who demonstrate pastoral gifts in our church cooking, and exploring LA. She is also an amateur komucommunities? cha tea brewer and patio gardener.

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at the intersection

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of science + faith

I grew up in a home with a literature professor for a mother and a writer for a father. We all read anything and everything we could get our hands on, and a huge part of my learning to read was about understanding and working with different genres of lit. It was thus no problem for me to read Genesis and Darwin, holding both as true. Though they differed in genre, they were both stories of human origin. I was perfectly willing to understand God as the master, creator, and sustainer of the universe, with evolution as a method he used when creating the world. Upon leaving high school, however, I ran into fundamentalist thought for the first time. I was told to choose one or the other; God and science could not coexist. My faith was almost destroyed. Having to choose between what I could lay my hands on, what I could see with my own eyes, and that which I could not see? The choice seemed obvious. Praise God for a man named Paul Hunt, my high school biology teacher, a practicing Roman Catholic. He saved my faith one autumn afternoon, when an unextraordinary college freshman walked into his classroom with red eyes, a breaking heart, and many questions. Since that day, I have been an opponent to those who present a false dichotomy between science and faith. Now, at the completion of my time at Fuller, I feel that I can become instead a proponent of their intersection, helping offer insights into how the two can and should work together. This is still an important issue in the church today; the Ken Ham Creation Museum or the Peter Enns-Westminster Seminary controversy are perfect examples of how this issue has not disappeared. Christians need not be afraid of science, and hopefully we can get to a point where scientists are not afraid of Christians. The SEMI will run several pieces throughout the spring quarter that focus on this end. Where science and faith intersect, we hope the conversation will strengthen our faith, enlarge our understandings of the unchanging Creator, and create a space where all feel safe, welcomed, and heard. 16

Reed Metcalf, Editor


and/or? The Conversion of an Astrophysicist BY DR. DEB SHEPHERD Almost 6 years ago I became a Christian and my life changed forever. I had tried to find the meaning to life in scientific study – science without God. At first, when I got my bachelors in physics, I could readily imagine that the reason I could not find meaning in my life was because I just didn’t know enough. I was only just starting out. I wanted to be an astrophysicist, to study this universe that filled me with awe and wonder when I looked up into the night sky. I still had a long way to go. So I continued in my career: I got my PhD in astrophysics, specializing in the field of star and planet formation. I took a postdoctoral appointment at Caltech and then moved to the National Radio Astronomy Observatory and continued my research while helping to build large radio telescopes in Chile, South Africa and the United States. I practiced yoga, Zen meditation, and Tai Chi. Somehow, I thought I could connect with that sense of wonder if I just studied more and knew more and worked hard enough. I was wrong. I was at the peak of my career. I had made discoveries and published extensively, but it felt like it amounted to nothing. I finally

realized that I would not find meaning and peace in my life if I continued on the path I had chosen. Like the Apostle Paul, I counted it all as loss. Through a series of events that I can only attribute to the Holy Spirit moving within me, I started thinking about God. The God of creation; the God of light and love. One night, as I was lying in bed, afraid of what lay before me, I realized I had to decide. I knew I needed to pray but I refused for the longest time. Because if I prayed, it meant that I admitted to a God who actually cared about me, not just a God who created the universe and left us to fend for ourselves. Finally, I broke down and I prayed. I then fasted and prayed intensively for a month, getting to know this new thing in my heart and soul: Jesus Christ. The pride and façade that I had built up within me based on knowledge built from scientific data came crumbling down. It was October 2008. I became a Christian. Suddenly I found myself in a very uncomfortable position. I knew God existed. I felt Him inside of me. I knew Jesus as my savior; no one else could have brought me out of such deep despair. But I was also an astronomer and I knew intimately just how big

Somehow, I thought I could connect with that sense of wonder if I just studied more and knew more and worked hard enough. I was wrong. 17


the universe was. I know stars are born and the creator. I didn’t realize it at the time but, they die each day. I know there are billions now that I have taken Professor John Thomp(109 or 1,000,000,000) of galaxies, each son’s class in Medieval and Reformation Thewith billions of stars. I know the galaxies are ology, I discovered that I followed a method expanding from an enormous explosion 13.7 that was laid out by Thomas Aquinas in the billion years ago, 1200’s: what has the “Big Bang.” I become known as natural science is not hostile know that galaxies to theology. Rather, natural science “The Analogy of themselves evolve Being.” complements grace. and even collide they are not mutually exclusive in events that last The Analogy of more than a billion years. I understand, at Being, a component of Aquinas’ “revealed least partly, the beauty and complexity of the theology,” suggests that we can say somephysics and mathematics that describe the thing about the nature of the cause (God, the fabric of space-time and the incredible balsculptor) if we study the nature of an effect ance between matter and energy that exists at (God’s creation, the sculpture). We can do the quantum level. this because natural science is not hostile to theology. Rather, natural science compleSo how could a God who created this amazments grace. ing and wonderful universe possibly love something so insignificant as a human beAs I was contemplating God’s creation of ing? We are nothing but tiny organisms on a mathematics and nature I suddenly realized small rocky planet orbiting a dwarf star (that that God is like a fractal! A fractal is a nevwe call the Sun) located in the outer reaches er-ending pattern that is infinitely large and of a rather standard galaxy that is no more infinitely small. Fractals replicate a process and no less special than any other galaxy in over and over again to create patterns within our universe. patterns at all scales. They are seen throughout nature: in the branching patterns of a tree I just couldn’t figure it out. I had a very difand rivers; in the eddies and swirls of a hurficult time believing in my heart and soul ricane storm on the surface of the earth and that God actually loved me when He had so on gas giant planets such as Jupiter, Saturn much else to hold and Neptune; and together. I spoke in the delicate patkeeping science and theology with other Chrisseparate limits our understanding terns of a seashell. tians and they beSome fractals are of God, nature, and our own place lieved God loved computer generatwithin God’s creation them but most ed by calculating didn’t seem to worry about the size of the a simple equation over and over again (see universe and what it truly meant to say that http://fractalfoundation.org for amazing exGod was infinite. amples of fractal designs). I still don’t know how it is possible; I probably never will. But I finally understand that it is possible: God both loves humans AND creates and sustains the universe. I came to this realization by studying God’s creation (nature, science, physics, mathematics) and then contemplating what we can learn about 18

How might God be like His creation, the fractal? I think God’s fractal nature can be seen in two ways. First, God is beautiful at all scales and all times and, second, God is infinitely capable at all scales. He doesn’t get overwhelmed with details—not a single sparrow falls to the ground without his attention


(Matthew 10:29)—and nothing is too big for Him, not even the universe he created (Job 38-40) with all the complexity I had encountered in my scientific studies. Once I understood that God might be like a fractal I could see that He is a God of infinite beauty at all scales and He has infinite capacity to create and love at all scales. Thus, if the pattern of God is created from love, then God’s fractal-like, replicating pattern of love means that He can personally love me and love all of creation at the same time. My dilemma was solved by allowing science and nature to inform my theology and, in the process, increase my understanding of God and the meaning of my life as a child of God. During this process I discovered that we don’t have to choose between science and theology: they are not mutually exclusive. We don’t have to keep them separate as if one cannot and should not inform the other. Because keeping science and theology separate limits our understanding of God, nature and our own place within God’s creation. Instead, let us work together to build a bridge between science and theology, allowing science to contribute to the fabric of our theology and theology to provide meaning and depth to our study of science. Finally, although science and theology can compliment each other, it is important to remember that science cannot prove or disprove God’s existence or His role in creation. However, new scientific discoveries and insights can identify the boundaries of what we can and cannot know. Through scientific exploration, we can learn how beautiful, expansive and complex the universe is and we can learn to ponder what is beyond the experiential. Ultimately we can only look inside for an understanding of who God really is. A native of Ohio, Deb Shepherd grew up in Cincinnati; she holds degrees in physics from the University of Cincinnati (BS) and University of Tennessee (MS) and in astronomy from the University of Wisconsin (MS & PhD). Her research focus is in the field of star and planet formation. Deb became a candidate for ordination as an elder in the United Methodist Church in August 2013 and moved to Pasadena to attend Fuller Seminary in the Masters of Divinity degree program.

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AN OPEN LETTER TO GLEN STASSEN UPON HIS DEATH

Dear Glen, This week we say goodbye to you. My heart is overwhelmed with gratitude—for your life, for your teaching, and for your perseverance. Only you would still try to read a dissertation when you had a fever and were in the hospital—and the irony that my work was on suffering was not lost on either of us. You stood by me through so many times of grief and pain—comforting me even before I arrived on campus while my family waited to find out about other family members in the path of Hurricane Katrina. You were with me in the ups and downs of my grandmother’s long illness, through the deaths of her and other family members, when our colleague and friend died, when my heart was broken, when I dealt with health issues, or even when I was just plain lonely. I shared with you some of my experiences at Southern as the only woman in my particular MDiv program and you went out of your way to help me work through that. When I wound up being the only woman again for awhile at Fuller, because one woman couldn’t start the program and another left due to illness, you and the male colleagues you had taught and nurtured made it a redeeming experience and a healing one. It was amazing to feel welcomed and wanted in the classroom, even as I was intimidated by how much I didn’t know and my own perceived inadequacy. Even the last time that we talked you wanted me to know that you had helped get Carolyn Dipboye hired as the first female faculty member in Southern Seminary’s School of Theology, when she replaced you for a one-year sabbatical. You told me once that I had been your TA more quarters than any other person. I don’t say that to brag. I think in retrospect it was to make sure you had regular contact with me, because you knew I had a hard first year in California and

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you knew I needed that attention and there was a lot for me to learn. Later, you gave me an even greater gift and recommended me to teach ET501 classes—sharing with me Fuller students who are my own constant joy and who amaze me through the way our Holy Spirit works in their lives. If I was frustrated or angry or sad or overwhelmed with something, you always took it very seriously—listening, trying to work through the situation, making peace, actively seeking solutions. I should have thanked you more often for that. It may seem strange to reference a children’s book to such an amazing scholar, but when I think of you, You’re All My Favorites, a story about parent bears telling all their cubs that each one is their favorite, comes to mind. That is how you felt about your students and graduates—there was no need for unhealthy competition, because every single one was your favorite. By treating each of us like that, you nurtured community while respecting our individuality. You bragged about us all over campus to anyone who would listen. We were all the best. You helped all of us. You pushed all of us forward, whether you were paying for Jerry Nwonye’s dissertation to be printed so he could graduate, inviting Emily Choge and her father to live in your home for 3 months, telling your classes about Rick Axtell’s teaching program about poverty or Jim Ball’s creation care ads in lectures, trying to continue Scott Becker’s work for him even after he died, strongly encouraging Fuller to expand health insurance coverage to protect students studying for comps, travelling all over the world and visiting your graduates in the process (including some who are seminary presidents), encouraging our activism, or pushing us into new jobs or writing opportunities. Sometimes PhD students are concerned that their mentors might want them to be exactly like them. You would never do that, but we would do well to be more like you. Thank you for loving all of us so deeply. We already miss you. Our lives will never be the same without you, but your community will stand together, helping each other through our pain at losing you, and teaching a “thicker Jesus” and biblical, loving justice wherever we may be. In peace, Laura Rector PhD Candidate Adjunct Instructor 21


Hey, Fuller! CHECK THIS OUT! Service Opportunities VITAL CONNECTIONS: RECOVERY COMMUNITY @ FULLER IS PARTNERING WITH AFTER HOURS MINISTRY After Hours Ministry is a street outreach to men and women who are prostituted. Our mission is to love until the last lock breaks. We find unique ways of building relationships with the men and women we meet on the streets of Los Angeles who are involved in street prostitution. These people are hurting and searching for a God that passionately desires to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes (Isaiah 61). How can you help? Vital Connections has placed an AFTER HOURS box in the Catalyst. Help us collect for their gift bags! Gather brand-new cosmetics, jewelry, travel size lotion, mouthwash, hand sanitizer, baby wipes, Kleenex, nail polish, lip gloss, candy and hair bands to donate to the After Hours gift bags used for outreach. Donations may be dropped off the week of May 12- 20th. There will also be a collection box at Travis Auditorium the evening of May 20th at the Self-Care panel event at 5:00p.m. If you have questions about AFTER HOURS, contact Julia Speck, Assistant Director After Hours and Assistant Director, Doctor of Ministry at julia@fuller.edu. Contact fullervitalconnections@gmail.com for questions about the event or Vital Connections: Recovery@Fuller.

Fuller Blood Drive What: Spring Blood Drive with Red Cross When: Monday, May 19th, 10am - 4:15pm Where: Red Cross Blood Mobile outside Hubbard Library For appointments contact Chris Hull (626-5845438 or chrishull@fuller.edu). All donors will receive a voucher for 2 LA Galaxy tickets and a coupon for 2 tickets to the Laugh Factory.

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Field Education Announcements SUMMER 2014 CHAPLAINCY INTERNSHIPS

The following hospital and hospice chaplaincy internships* are being offered during the Summer Quarter of 2014.

Two-unit FE546 Hospital Chaplaincy intern-

ships are being offered at Glendale Adventist in Glendale, St. Joseph Medical Center in Burbank, Children’s Hospital of Orange County and Providence Holy Cross in Mission Hills.

Two-unit FE548 Hospice Chaplaincy internships are being offered through Roze Room Hospice and Mission Hospice.

These courses emphasize spiritual care training in a hospital or hospice setting. Students will learn how to be present to patients and/or their families during a crisis, as well as the preliminary steps in performing a spiritual care assessment. Before registering for a chaplaincy course, interns must be interviewed and accepted by the prospective hospital or hospice chaplain. Start the process early! Depending on the site, the approval process can take from 3 to 8 weeks. *These are not CPE internships. If you are looking for CPE internships, you may find that information on the Field Education website.

Contact FEMF at 626-584-5387 or fielded@fuller.edu for more information.

FIRST Evangelical CHurch Arcadia Our church in Monrovia is looking for Fuller student with AWANA experience to help run our children’s program. Possible paid position. Please contact Pastor Wat (626) 249-0090 or email Chiver.wat@fecarcadia.org.


Hey, Fuller!

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Faith & Science

Dr. Jennifer Wiseman on

The Grand Scope of the Cosmos: Viewing the Universe Through Lenses of Science & Faith

Dr. Wiseman is an astronomer, author, world-­‐renowned speaker and director of the Dialogue on Science, Ethics & Religion for the American Associa?on for the Advancement of Science.

FREE Admission Thursday, May 29, 2014 7 p.m. Fuller Seminary Payton 101 135 N. Oakland Ave, Pasadena, CA 91182

Parking available at Pasadena Presbyterian Church (map: hSp://www.ppc.net/map.html)

For informa?on: (626) 345-­‐5250 hSp://fumcpasadena.org/community/events/faith-­‐and-­‐science American Scientific Affiliation

Pasadena Presbyterian Church

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First UMC Pasadena

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Center For Research in Science


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