The Riders Mag August 2015 V17-n06

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THE RIDER’S MAG August 2015 Volume 17 - #6

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Table of Contents

Pg. 4 - What’s Shakin’ Lots of events all Summer Long. Pg. 7 - Cruising with Critter The Boss just keeps sure does alot of travelling Pg. 18 - Hello Fellow Inmates..... Donnie’s been Shacked up for the summer. Pg. 20 - One For The Road Lil Red is off on her first assingments Pg. 24 - Fighting For Your Rights Rooster’s HOV Plan Pg. 26 - Joke Page

®

Pg. 28 - Calendar and all thats going on. Smiley & Company Pg. 30 - Shop/Builder Of The Month Smiley & Company Pg. 32 - Lord Protect Us Part 2, Then they took Berlin Donny Petersen Takes a Side trip to Prague Pg. 36 - Sticker Stories Sharon Has Fun with Big Balls. Pg. 40 - Feature Bike “Slick Shovel” Pg . 42 - East Coast Rambler Atlantic Jeff Retired to have some time. Pg. 43 - Biker Church Pastor Dave’s Back. Pg. 44 - From the far East………Ontario that is. Beau’s working the Busted Bucket. Pg. 47 - Whispers of a Neoteric Nomad That Northern Guy, just another Reunion Pg. 51 - Flat Tracking Aaron tells of Twins Racing Pg. 56 - Ladies and Their Harleys Published by:

THE RIDER’S MAG Inc.

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www.theridersmag.com Email: rickdavis@theridersmag.com Editor in Chief: Rick Davis Managing Editor: ACE Wolske Office Manager: Diane Davis Publisher Emeritus: Alex J.R. MacRae Editor Emeritus: J.B. Ballantine

Advertising and Sales

Atlantic Canada Rep: Jeff Burgess 506-346-0224 Eastern Ont./Que. Rep: Beau Rooney 613-295-4444 Southwestern Ontario Rep: Tim Armstrong 519-252-9631 Northern Ontario Sales Rep.: Guy Levasseur 705-662-1526

Contributing Writers Aaron Hesmer, Bad Bob, Beau Rooney, Big Scott Dangerous Donnie, Donny Petersen, David Neals, JR McCrea, Jonathan Musson, Kaz, Manon Kellman, Rossaire, Lil Red The Mag Hag, Roostah, Sherri O’Irish, Sharon Nicholson Contruibuting Cartoonists Critter & Michael MacDonald (MAC13)

And a special thank you to the People of Lucan, Free 98.1, Western Cheerleaders, The Geoff Masse Band and of course all the Volunteers that helped make this happen.

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THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 3


What’s

Every Tuesday All Summer The Albion Hotel’s World Famous Bike Night & BBQ Starts at 11:30 am and runs All Day at the Albion, 1 Main Street, Bayfield 519-565-2641 Biker TV’s Biker Drive-In and Show and Shine Starts at 6pm, Live Music, BBQ, Prizes & a Bikini Bike Wash. 5 Main Street Princeton. Every Wednesday Keleher’s Bike Nights Charity Fund raiser, BBQ, 50/50, Prizes. At Keleher’s 154 King St. East, Cambridge 519-650-9595facebook.com/pages/ Kelehers-Western-Wear/ Independent Riders Bike Night Live Music, Door Prizes, Food & Drink Specials, at The Regency Athletic Resort, 8068 Mountain Rd. Niagara Falls. www.independentriders.ca Suck Bang Blow Bike Night 60 cent Wings, Door Prizes, Drink Specials and No Cover Charge. Come on out to Stoney Creek, 443 Highway 20 East at the end of Tapleytown Road. Every Thursday Clare’s Niagara’s Bike Night “The Tradition Continues” Different Guest Clubs and Entertainment Every

Shakin’

Thursday until August 27th. Check the weekly events at www.claresharleydavidson.com Every Staurday Welland County M.C. Dirt Track Racing Welland County Speedway, 603 Netherby Rd. Welland. Fun for the Whole Family. More info contact: 905-734-7058 or 905686-3422 or www.WellandMotorcycleClub.com Do you Like Biker Movies? Keep an eye on Smiley & Co.’s Facebook Group for upcoming dates of Smiley & Company’s Famous Movie Nights. See what’s playing at facebook.com/smileyandcompany

August

July 31st – Aug 3rd- A.B.A.T.E Ontario’s 25th Annual Final Frontier

At the ABATE Grounds. Live Bands All Weekend, Camping, Bike Games, Show & Shine, Vendors, Mud Wrestling, Wet T-Shirt. For tickets Call Surf: 519-282-2978, Chico: 519-477-4365, or Horse: 519-983-5324.

Aug. 7th-9th- Big Daddy’s Cowpaddy’s 4th Annual Rodeo & Roast

11101 County Rd. 15, North Augusta. Advanced tickets $25, $30 at the Gate. For more Information: www.BigDaddysCowpaddy.ca or call Greg or Susie at 613926-0799

& Zuber Company LITIGATION

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David A. Zuber, LL.B.

Certified as a Specialist in Civil Litigation

Free Consultation Personal Injury Disability Claims Medical Malpractice Tel: 416.362.5005 Fax: 416.362.5289 THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 4

Email: dzuber@zubco.com Website: www.zubco.com


Aug. 8th- Bikes On Bond

Downtown Oshawa is closing the Core area to Motorcycles Only, All Day, Live Music, Vendors, and a Free Show & Shine. This is a Free Event and Everyone is Welcome. For more info www.facebook.com/ pages/Bikes-on-Bond . Rain Date Aug 9th.

Aug. 8th- Rocky’s HD60 Years of Freedom Celebration

900 Wilton Grove Rd, London, Live Music Featuring ‘Who Meets Who’, Bikini Contest, Vintage Bikes, Sidewalk Sale, Food, Beverage Tent, Pirzes all for Free. 12 Noon – 5pm. For more info Check out www. rockys-harley.com or call (519) 4381450

Now Helping people for over 12 years.

See what others say. See testimonials online.

Aug 8th- Thurst-Ts’s Old School-No Cell Run

Starting at Thursty’s Cycle 10114 Hwy 26 Collingwood. Registration starts at 9am or preregister by email to thurst.ts.cycle@gmail. com $20 per person, Ride Leaves at 10am, ABSOLUTELY NO CELL PHONES OR GPS. BBQ and Live Band to follow the Ride. More info at www.thurst-ts.ca or 705-443-8751.

Aug. 8th- 1st Annual Moose Riders St Catharines Show& Shine/Dice Run

Rain Date From June 27th Event 92 Permilla St. St. Catharines, $20 Entry, Breakfast starts at 9am, 50/50 Draws, Horseshoe Pit, Free Camping, and The Music Starts at 7pm, for more information contact TED at 905-682-7207

Aug 8th- Jacox Harley-Davidson® Adrenaline Afternoon/Open House

from 11:30 AM – 3:00 PM at Jacox H-D®. Join us for LIVE MUSIC by the “Roaming Coyotes”, BBQ & more! For more information please contact our Marketing & Promotions Coordinator, Julie Martin at jmartin@jacoxharley.com or at 905-858-6763.

Aug. 14th-15th & 16th- Cow Paddy Boys 25th Annual Rodeo & Roast

9500 Hall Rd., North Augusta, Ontario. Biker events, Live Music Friday and Saturday Night, Prizes, Tattoos, Camping, Showers, B.Y.O.B. $30 Donation All Proceeds to Charity. More Info at www.cowpaddyboys.com

Aug. 15th- Kitchener Harley Summer Block Party

2255 Kingsway Dr, Kitchener. 12 Noon till 5pm, Live Music, Bike Wash, BBQ, Beverage Tent, and Prizes For more info check out www.kitchenerharley.com or call 519-893-0493

Aug. 22nd-Bacchus Chatham Poker Run

Big Shots Bar, 17 King Street Chatham, Registration from 11-11:45 am, Ride leaves at Noon Sharp. More Info at www. BacchusMCOntario.com

Aug. 22nd-Hope Place Centres Annual Ride For Hope

Starting at Halton Recovery House, 8173 Trafalgar Rd. Hornby, Registration starts at 10am $25 Per person, Ride free with $100 in Pledges, Ride Leaves at 11am, BBQ to Follow at approx. 12:45, More Info Contact event@hopeplacecentres. org ,Or register Online at www.hopeplacecentres.org

Aug. 22nd- Cancer Benefit for Ralph “Axel” Tota

At the Erin Legion Branch 442 , 12 Dundas St. East in Beautiful Downtown Erin. 5pm Start, $20 per person, Live Music, 50/50, Door Prizes, Silent Auction and a BBQ on the Patio. For more information and Tickets Call Junior at 416456-0128

Aug. 28th- Dukes H-D Friday Night Ride to Launch Bikefest CK

Meeting at The Cultural Centre on William St. Downtown Chatham at 6:30 pm, Join them on a 1 ½ hour Cruise finishing up at The Montreal House. Ride to be led by Chatham-Kent HOG, All Riders are Welcome to join in. for more info see www.dukeshd.com

Aug 29th- Big Brothers Big Sisters BikeFest Chatham-Kent

Tecumseh Park Chatham, All Day Event Free Admission, Live Entertainment, Food, Vendors, Bike Build Competition, Beer Garden, and Win a Harley Raffle. More Information at www.bikefest.ca

Aug 29th- Jacox Harley-Davidson® Hosts TEST OUR METAL – DEMO DAY!

At Jacox Harley-Davidson®. Be the FIRST to ride the a 2016 Harley-Davidson® Motorcycle at Jacox Harley-Davidson®. Registration Begins at 9:00 AM. Rides run from 10:00 AM – 3:00 PM. * Additionally, while you wait, enjoy the fantastic food from “The Egg Man” FOOD TRUCK – Serving from 9:00 AM – 3:00 PM! For more information please contact our Marketing & Promotions Coordinator, Julie Martin at jmartin@jacoxharley.com or at 905-858-6763.

Aug. 30th- Critter & Black Gold’s Annual Show ‘N’ Shine for Alzheimer’s

Join The Mag Crew at 1228 Gorham St. in Newmarket for the day and Enter your Bike to Win. Trophies for All 16 Classes, BBQ and Live Music. Starting at 10am and going till 4pm. See you there

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Sept. 13th- Welland County M.C. Family Fun Day

Check their website for details www.WellandMotorcycleClub. com

Sept. 19th- Fabulous Fenwick Lions “Biketoberfest 2015”

13th Anniversary of The Largest Motorcycle Event in Niagara, Enter to win the Grand Prize 2015 CVO™ Street Glide®. For more information www.biketoberfest.ca.

Sept. 26th- Big Daddy’s Cowpaddy’s 4th Annual Toy Run Details to be announced. Check www.BigDaddysCowpaddy.ca or call Greg or Susie at 613-9260799

October

Oct 3rdDavidson® Rides to Beaver Valley

September

Sept. 2 – 6 - Wharf Rat Rally nd

th

Digby Nova Scotia, All Week Long Atlantic Canada’s Largest Motorcycle Rally Events going all week long. Book your space now! Check it out at www.wharfratrally.com

Jacox

Harley-

Departing at 9:00am from Jacox Harley-Davidson®. Please RSVP our Marketing & Promotions Coordinator, Julie Martin at jmartin@jacoxharley.com or at 905-858-6763 by Friday October 2nd.

Also a Fall Swap Meet at Malicious Cycle in Scarborough Sept. 4th-5th- West Coast Blues ‘Downtown Shuffle’, in September the exact date has yet to be confirmed. 10th Anniversary, Blues Festival Check www.maliciouscycleandclothing.com or Goderich Ontario. Wow weekend pass only $30! Friday facebook.com/maliciouscycle for more up to date info Sept 4th - ‘Friday Night Walkabout’, Goderich Ontario and Vendor spaces. - 8 venues, featuring 8 exciting Blues acts, all venues within walking distance, $10 wristband allows admission to all 8 venues. Wristbands at the door or on line www. westcoastblues.ca. Saturday Sept 5th - Labour Day Weekend Blues Festival, Motorcycle Show and Shine, Goderich Ontario 1:30 pm to 5 pm. Free outdoor Blues concert, featuring Stevie T. info at www.westcoastblues.ca. Main Stage featuring, Paul Deslauriers Band, Drew Nelson Band, Paul Reddick and the Weber Brothers and Magic Moment Blues Band. Show starts at 7 pm. $25 advance and $30 at the door OR Weekend pass for only $30 (includes Friday night Walkabout)..

Sept 5th- The Annual Snake River Motorcycle Rodeo

468A Faught Road in Cobden, Gates open at 9am, $20 per person, Bike Games on and off All Day, Live Music, Camping and of course The Pig Roast. For more Info Check out facebook.com/pages/Snake-River-Motorcycle-Rodeo or Call Andrew at 613-808-1388

Sept. 12th- 13th- Judith Henry Memorial Ride and After Party

Fireman’s Park, 2275 Dorchester Rd., Niagara Falls, Ontario. Registration 9 – 11am Rider’s $25- Passengers $15, Pig Roast and Camping is Included. www.independentriders.ca.

Sept 12th- Jacox Harley-Davidson® Afternoon/Open House

Adrenaline

Our END OF SEASON KICK-OFF from 11:30 AM – 3:00 PM at Jacox H-D®. Join us for LIVE MUSIC by the “Bad To The Bone”, BBQ & more! For more information please contact our Marketing & Promotions Coordinator, Julie Martin at jmartin@jacoxharley.com or at 905-858-6763.

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 6


Cruising With Critter Wow! Riding season 2015 is now in full swing and we at The Riders Mag have been overwhelmed with events! We do try our best to get to all of the advertised events, but sometimes it is just impossible! The weather hasn`t been entirely co-operative either and some events have been if not washed out, suffered attendance wise but that is the joy of planning outdoor events and you have to know going in that that is one of the factors that you have to accept. The Trike is getting her reverse gear and Hogtunes Sound system installed as I write this and Petoonia`s new paint job and artwork is coming along really well, with all her spare parts painted and waiting for clear coat. Right now she is doing a great job and running like a dream although she can`t carry much without a beer box but we are making do. There has been a rash of motorcycle accident lately and we have lost riders while others are recovering. Please be careful out there! Death is a part of life and we something we will all have to deal with at some point. It is hard to say our final goodbyes to those we cherish. There have been a lot of funerals lately and as much as I would have liked to have attended them all my schedule is crazy I have been unable to get to a lot of them. Please don`t take my absence as a slight or a sign of disrespect or disinterest. I just physically can`t be everywhere I want to be. The same applies to events! I would like to attend them all but simply can`t and there are some that really pains me to have missed but I have to do what is best for The Mag, our advertisers and our readers and go where I`m most needed. We are bringing a lot of new people on board and they are all

capable and enthusiastic so please make them feel welcome when they introduce themselves. We are all volunteers and we do what we do on our own dime and our own time and we do our best. RIP – Robert Stuart Meiklejohn When I stopped in at Rocket Motorcycle last month to drop off his Riders Mags and was expecting to see owner Robbie Meiklejohn’s smiling face and share a few minutes just shooting the shit. Instead I found a huge bin out back being loaded with all kinds of stuff and the once busy shop near empty. I was informed that Robbie had passed away the previous week of a massive stroke. It was a shock and it had me bummed out because it was too late to pay my respects personally. He was well liked and well respected and will be missed by all who knew him and appreciated him for his passion for motorcycles, his knowledge, mechanical skills, talent and wry sense of humour. Rest in peace my friend. I would like to extend my condolences to The Black Diamond Riders on the loss of two of their members in one week. One is hard to take but two is devastating. - L&R Joseph (Little Joe) Benicasa June 21, 1945 – July 10, 2015 Little Joe, a 43 year member of the Club passed away peacefully on July 10, 2015. He will be sorely missed by his club Brothers, his friends and his family. I have fond memories of him and always found him to be a loyal, trustworthy friend and was

R R

R

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proud to have known him. - L& R Danny Fulager – December9, 1965 – July 2, 2015 Danny passed away suddenly and unexpectedly at his home and will be deeply missed by his Club Brothers, his family, and his many friends. - L&R Francis Van Dusen – December 3, 1954 – May 3, 2015 I wrote about Francis’s passing last issue and said that he touched a lot of people in the biker World and would be greatly missed. A mutual friend asked me to publish a prayer that he

wrote in memory of him and I felt obliged to include it on this page. RIP – L&R I got word from my young friend Ralph Tota Jr. who works at Jacox HD that his Dad, Ralph Sr. has been diagnosed with prostate cancer and will soon be undergoing treatment. Ralph Jr. will be holding a benefit party to help out his Dad financially and morally during this stressful period. Ralph Sr. is a long-time friend who has been in the Biker World for most of his life as well as being a fine musician and disk jockey who has been playing at biker gigs and biker bars for years and knows and is known by many. He stepped in to help me when my sound system went down at a couple of my Show and Shines and got the tunes happening and he also played bass for one of the bands that played there as well. The event will be held at The Legion in Erin, Ont. At 5:00 PM on Aug. 22, 2015 check The What’s Shakin’ pages for more details. New Stuff about old friends – It’s funny! We go through our lives superficially at times and think we know people without really knowing them. It is like skimming through a book. We know them for what they are usually doing when we see them and assume that that is what they do or who they are all the time. For example I got a call from a great lady asking about advertising in the Mag. I’ve known this lady for years and if you’ve ever been to the Motorcycle Shows in Toronto you know her too. It’s Lucy, the lady who does the commentary and runs the Leather Fashion We beseech you our creator to accept Francis who has gone before us. Shows first for Elaina and On The He is walking beyond the western door which he entered with his parents Fringe and now for Terez Leathand relatives who have gone before him. One day we too will enter the spirit world ers. I assumed that that is what beyond the western door. Grandfathers and grandmothers will help us to understand she did all the time. She even helped our Senior out with some what has happened this day. The Great Spirit creator of all, alone knows when liniment for his aching knees we will be called to join them. When the Great spirit saw Francis was tired and would apply it for him at the from all the pain and suffering, he closed his arms around him and whispered shows, side line I figured, but with “Come to me, you do not deserve that which you are going through” and gave him the professionalism she displays the rest he needed. When we saw him sleeping so peacefully and free of pain when doing the Shows I figured that leather and fashion was her we could not wish him back to suffer again. God rest his soul. vocation. She always stopped by We give thanks to the creator for creating this land of ours and for everything our booth for a chat and was a that we seethe trees, the birds, the lakes and rivers. We thank the creator huge supporter of the Mag and for listening to our prayers and for giving us Francis’s love so that we may well just a great person to talk to. and true as we try to walk this hard road of life. Turns out that she has been involved with Animals for over 30 Francis helped so many during his short life from which we have all benefitted. years (Not just the ones on motorHe will always live in our hearts through his kindness and loving nature cycles but dogs, cats, exotic stuff which he was so willing to share. like birds, aquatic amphibians and In Loving memory from his family and friends reptiles.) and does animal rescue and volunteers at different animal By his friend Thomas Dunn shelters. I love all these different animals and my hat comes off to those who dedicate their time to helping them and keeping them safe and healthy and rescue them from those who should never be around animals or for whatever reason cannot properly care for them. She is a groomer and a licensed Veterinary Technologist and is working towards renewing her Veterinarian owner’s certificate. She also does Pet, house and cottage sitting and does some freelance journalism. Who knew? Certainly not me, but if you are in need your dog, cats, birds or whatever cared for groomed or looked after when you go on a trip and want your home or cottage occupied while you’re away. Give Lucy a call 416-940-0081. Check out her ad here in The Riders Mag.

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Bobcaygeon Bikefest 2015 According to my favourite people, the weather forecasters, the weather for the entire day was to resemble something akin to seven kinds of Hell and not fit for man or beast to venture outside and we should all just abandon all thoughts of any outdoor activity other than perhaps scuba diving. This was their call on every weather station everywhere and anywhere all week long! There wasn’t even the slightest hope given that they could possibly be wrong right up until the night before or for that matter that very morning! It certainly did not bode well for anyone planning a motorcycle event that day and I felt sorry for Krazzy and the crew at Bobcaygeon Bikefest as they put so much time and effort into planning and preparation for this fantastic annual event. One thing was certain however, I would be going and I would be riding so I resigned myself to the fact that I would be getting wet that day, all day and I prepared myself accordingly. I gathered all my wet weather gear in the days leading up to the event preparing myself to face perfect storm type conditions that we were told were imminent. I coated my boots with every type of waterproofing product that I’d ever purchased at Bike Shows over the years, the stuff that now requires a special shelf to hold it all, as being old and forgetful, and perhaps, not particularly bright, keep buying it only to come home and discover a plethora of the same or similar product unopened and collecting dust so I just periodically rotate my stock. But today those purchases would prove to be well thought out and I felt confident that at least my feet would remain dry and comfortable in the Hellish conditions I would allegedly, be facing on this day! No point in washing the Trike either. I said goodbye to Godzilla and the Wonderdogs braced myself for a solid blast of crap and stepped out into what appeared to be a great looking day. It was a little grey in spots but pretty damned nice just the same! I packed all my raingear into the spacious box on the back of Black Bitch 3 along with several bundles of Mags, a Magazine rack my camera and other essential Roving Reporter gear and headed out, still fully expecting Mother Nature to ambush me, now totally vulnerable to the elements, at any moment with a relentless downpour that would see me soaked to the skin in mere seconds, before I could properly suit up! “Ah well, it won’t be the first time that the feisty bitch and I have played this game.” I muttered. “Go ahead you miserable old Hag, I’m playing into your hand!” Shooting a one finger salute to the now darkening heavens I was off. Like John Wayne said “Bravery is knowing you’re going to face danger and maybe death, if you saddle up and saddle up anyways.” Or maybe that was “Stupidity” or something like that. The entire day was like that with the sky suddenly getting pretty grey and foreboding at times, and just as quickly clearing and the sun would shine through but just the same, I kept a vigilant eye to the sky while scanning

the roadside for quick shelter just in case, as BB#3 and I ate up the miles and we made good time getting to beautiful downtown Bobcaygeon. I rode through town stopping here and there along the way to shake hands or exchanging greetings with the many

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 9


people I knew along the way before settling into a spot in the heart of Town. I had no trouble finding a spot as while it was busy but nowhere near as busy as last year. That wasn’t really a big surprize, given the fact that the weather forecasts had painted such a poor picture and too many riders give them far too much credibility and plan their rides around them, thus, they miss out on some great riding and some really great events and the events suffer.

I wandered through Town and up over the bridge stopping to talk to our many of our advertisers and supporters along the way. Len’s Auto from Jarvis had their usual great display of Trikes and were capturing the attention of lots of folks, Gord and Steve from Black Gold seemed busy as well and Rod Barber from Wizards was doing great business with the huge line of great Cleaning and Detailing products which I can attest to. Having two bikes and very little spare time in which to keep the two darlings somewhat clean and presentable is a challenge and these products really do help me to keep the beasts looking halfway decent. There was certainly a lot of vendors out and ready for the really big crowds to appear and I found myself stocking up on all kinds of stuff and now had an armful of bargains and headed back to the Trike to unload. I ran into Gazoo and company manning the BRO booth

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 10

and just down from him sat Don Norris where he was flogging the ever expanding library of books that he has authored and it is always great to talk to him. I retraced my steps back across the bridge and back to down town where I ran into Larry Pooler and his lovely bride Nancy who is looking absolutely fantastic! I had been searching for James Taylor and Ray Bonner from Pace Law Motorcycle Lawyers as they had requested more Mags for their booth and found them just inside the park and got the Mags to them. Right across from them were the Massage ladies and after the experience at the Spring Motorcycle Show that got my head to stop twitching, temporarily at least and was happy to put her magic fingers to work once again with the same results before continuing on my way and checking out Hankster’s Boot hill Hearse display. I declared the first official Beer Break of the day and wan-

dered into one of the many great bars along the Main Street Strip and treated myself to a cold one (No not 50! But it was cold and wet and right now that was what I needed.) along with a great Panini sandwich. I sat there for a while and many recognised me and came over to say hello as I relaxed a bit and checked out what was happening on the street. The sun was staying out for longer periods of time now before giving way to periodic gatherings of dark ominous clouds but it was definitely warming up. The constant rumble of motorcycles had now swelled and told me that it was getting busier and a look up and down the now very busy streets confirmed my belief that if you hold a good event you will get at least the hard core riders out and that there are many who will take a chance on the weather if there is the promise of a good event when they get there. Others miss out because they won’t. This event has been compared to The Friday 13th Port Dover happenings. They both attract large numbers of Motorcycles to the town for one day but that is where comparisons seem to end. This event has an entirely different vibe to it. It is friendlier and the bars and stores are far more welcoming and seem appreciative of the presence of all the bikers and extra revenue that the event generates. The whole attitude here is somehow different and even the police presence is less intimidating or intrusive for some reason. They, as well seem


to have a different attitude here and actually seem to be enjoying themselves as they stroll through the streets in pairs rather than in over armed packs or platoons as they do in Port Dover. But there was something else that seemed out of the norm that I couldn’t quite put my finger on at first about the police here as compared to Port Dover. Then it came to me as I observed the same pair of cops on several occasions, they were smiling! Genuine smiles, not scowls, or the confrontational, with the “I’m so tough and you’re just scum or worse, looks” that we’ve all seen so many times, and on one occasion when we met on the street I made comment to them that it was refreshing to see. They just smiled and we went on our separate ways. Now the street was full with bikes and people and now resembled the Bikefests of the past and Krazzy could be seen smiling from the seat of the stretch Golf cart that he was piloting through town throughout the day. My buddy/painter/ airbrush artist extraordinaire, Jabber his Dad Frank and a whole crew had made it out as well and had parked their bikes beside my Trike. They had some great bands performing on the streets and outside at various bars and the Town now took on a great Festival Feel that the organizers were hoping for. I wandered in to the Show and Shine area where an array of great looking bikes were assembled all vying for one of the massive trophies that were on display in the center of the courtyard and the ever beautiful Bonnie Hamilton was looking after registration. I knew that our girl Sherri O’Irish was to be here although I hadn’t seen her yet and I was also keeping an eye out for another lady whom I hadn’t met in person before, who also wanted to become a contributor to The Mag. We had conversed via e mail and texts but that really didn’t tell me much so I just kept looking around hoping that she would recognize me as I had no idea what she looked like, but she sounded cute so I was searching for her people, not ogling all the pretty girls as you are so quick to assume. Sure enough as I made my way down the street for the umpteenth time a pretty lady

in a straw cowboy hat who had been hanging out by the Trike approached me and it turned out to be Paula along with her ‘ol man Mike and after introduction we went to a bar where we could talk. She seemed to be interested and interesting and someone I thought our readers could relate to so watch for the newest addition to our crew Lil’ Red, who hails from Cambelford and will be out and about at events particularly in the Eastern part of the Province. Just then I spotted the flaming red tresses of Sherri O’Irish through the window as she made her way down the street. I tried to get her attention but to no avail but I now knew that she was indeed in town. I continued talking to Lil’ Red and Mike keeping an eye on my watch as the awards for the Show and Shine were going to happen in about an hour. I stated seeing monster trophies that had been on display for the Show and Shine being carried down the street and panicked. A glance at my watch told me that I should still have had lots of time and the watch was indeed, working and accurate. I excused myself and headed out to investigate. Sure enough, the organizers had moved things up because of the threat of thunderstorms and I’d missed the ceremony so being a resourceful, experienced veteran Roving Report-

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er, I just improvised and since there were many of the winners still present along with their bikes and trophies so I got some shots and that will have to do unless of course the lovely Sherri O’Irish was on the ball and covered that part in my absence. We can only hope. I meandered up the street and found a whole wack of people I knew in one of the bars and went in to socialize and wet my whistle before heading out of Town. Sure enough Sherri figured out where best to find me and joined the happy group that took up several of the large tables. It was now time to head for home so I loaded up the Trike and headed off giving Sherri a lift to her wheels that were parked on the other side of town and on the way we passed the two smiling Cops that I’d spoke to earlier. They were still smiling! It was a great day, a great event and a great time with some truly great people! This event is fast becoming the must attend event that the organizers had envisioned. They are learning more with each event and improving things

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be unable to go on the ride but wanted additional pictures of the rest of the ride and he promised me some. So I will be adding them to my article here if they should make on time or they will go into the larger photo galINSTALLATION itlery in the online Mag. The dogs that these folks train and give to those in need, do so much in so many areas to ease the

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each year to make it bigger and better as they go. To those who missed it, you really missed out of a great time. Don’t let the weatherman dictate where and when you go somewhere come on out the season is far too short as it is. Don’t waste it. Guide Dogs Poker run I knew that I wouldn’t be able to go on the ride but wanted to at least make it out to the start of the ride so I headed the Black Bitch 3 toward Oakville and arrived to find the parking lot and the streets full of bikes people and dogs. Lot and lots of dogs! Big dogs, little dogs, dogs dresses up in outfits and some just being dogs and I love dogs! I’ve said before that I’m a sucker for pretty women, motorcycles and dogs of any shape size or description. This place had all of the above. I parked grabbed my camera and a bundle of Mags and headed out to find the organizers. They found me and I introduced myself gave them the Mags and wandered off to get some pictures and meet people and dogs. It came as no big surprize to see John Cosentini and his best bud; Panda at this event. I spoke to John and told him that I would


burdens caused by many afflictions and challenges and make life easier, safer and less stressful. They provide life changing if not lifesaving benefits and they rely on fund-raisers such as this to fund the training of these magnificent dogs. I meandered through the large crowd of people, dogs and motorcycles grabbing some pictures and talking to some of the participants before listening to the opening introductions and run-down of the ride. At that, everyone went to their bikes fired them up and were gone, leaving me to get on with the very busy day that lay in store for me. Jens 50th It was a pissy sort of day with heavy rain that was to continue right through the night so I chose Black Bitch 2, my faithful F150 as transportation over either of my motorcycles and made my way to Docville in Newcastle to join with a whole bunch of biker friends to celebrate the 50th birthday of my dear friend Jen, who still looks like she is in her twenties with or without makeup. Jen had rented the place for the day, hired a great band and organized the party and the food and had donation jars throughout the space and any money collected she was donating to the Kidney foundation on behalf of her other half Ray who has endured health issues over the past bunch of years. They had a lady (You know me and names!) speak on the importance of and encouraging people to become organ donors. I couldn’t stay long but I had to go and had to mention

it here as organ donation and research will benefit Ray and others like him. Happy Birthday Darl’n. You rock! Strictly V Twin Show and Shine It was an absolutely gorgeous day as I fired up the Trike, affectionately named Black Bitch 3 (Until she earns another moniker.) and headed out on the days mission. I had all kinds of things that I wanted to do today with about five events that I would like to have attended that I could realistically even think about making it to. Although I knew in my heart that I wouldn’t get to all five, made a list of them anyway and would just have to see how many I could get to as the day wore on. First off, The Annual Strictly V Twin Show and Shine up in beautiful Pefferlaw. I rolled in to find a large crowd already gathered and milling around an impressive number of bike that were lining both sides of the long well maintained driveway.

Fred Hale was out meeting and greeting all arrivals most of whom were satisfied customers with many riding bikes that Fred and Son Ted had built or modified. I’d also be willing to bet that every bike there had parts (My trike and Petoonia included.) purchased at the great store that the family has run for years now. Although Fred claims to be retired with Ted and the fabulous Amy running the show, he still seems to spend a lot of his time there and he rightfully takes a lot of pride in the store and his kids. There was a tables full of door prizes and new and used parts under large canopies up by the store with huge dis-

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some of the great food from a table overflowing with assorted offerings that all were incredibly tempting until I figured I should head up the road towards home abandoning all hopes of covering all five events today. It’s a bitch to get old and slow down. I’ll let Tanya and Scott do the main write-up of this event but wanted to personally offer my congratulations on a full year in business and best wishes for many more years to come.

counts on all in stock items. This is a fantastic store with all walls covered in displays of chrome goodies, accessories, clothing, leather goods and anything and everything that you could want for the rider or the motorcycle and volumes of catalogue as back up for their huge inventory. There were many examples of the creative talents and the imagination of this fine crew outside and in and their builds have long been show winners at all the major Motorcycle Shows for years now. I stayed a bit, talked a bit, got some pics and even took time to enjoy one of the scrumptious sausages that were being served from the barbecues before continuing on my mission. Malicious Cycle 1st Anniversary Pig Roast I now made my way down to Scarborough to Malicious Cycle and Clothing were celebrating the first Anniversary of opening this ever expanding store and shop with a barbecue and pig roast. I pulled in and parked the truck to unexpectedly find our own little Mag Hag “Tanya the Terrible” and her sidekick Scott were there already on the job. I was tempted to not even take my camera out of the Trike but would feel funny without it so I slung it around my neck even though I only took one picture the whole time I was there. I found Bryan, hard at it, making sure that everything was in order and things were being taken care of. With Tanya and Scott large and in charge I just hung around talking sampling

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Brothers of The Blade – Daybreak I was unable to make it out in time for this great event that these fine men and women do each year to give back to the community and has such a huge impact on the lives of so many individuals and fills a void in the budgets of group homes throughout the Province caused by cutbacks and funding shortfalls by the different levels of Government. I swung in later in the day to find them still in cleanup mode and coming down from the emotional high that the event produces. I talked to members about today’s event and others in years past, many of which I have attended and also the ones they do up in Manitoulin each year. We discussed how their guests react to them and the love that is mutually shared with them. They told me that Amanda; one girl who has been coming here faithfully for years and is always one of the more exuberant guests who was unable to come this year due to tests that she was undergoing which have now come back with good results and Bruce and one of the other members had gone to visit her. Her heartwarming response to that visit had us tearing up at the telling of it. Every member has stories that evoke strong emotions that sometimes do produce tears unashamedly shed as those tears are always accompanied by a huge smile as these fine folks truly do make a difference in the lives of so many but it is a mutual experience because of the emotions honestly shared. There will be an article on the event by our new and enthusiastic Roving Reporter Crew; Scott and Tanya who are a very welcome addition to the Riders Mag Team. Kawartha Bikers Church Show and Shine I rolled into the Bikers Church property under clear blue skies and soaring temperatures to find things well under way. This was not to be my event either as our newest team member Lil’ Red and her sidekick/riding partner/soul mate and other descriptions she want to provide as she shares her Roving Reporter adventures with you on assignments will provide an article later in this issue. I rode in just to check it out and visit with folks and to introduce her to various people who she will likely be running into in her travels for the Mag. I even entered the Trike in the Show and Shine and rode away with a fantastic trophy to further escalate the rivalry that exists between Petoonia and The Black Bitch 3. With Lil’ Red large and in charge and seemingly everywhere with boundless energy and enthusiasm it allowed


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me the luxury of being able to visit with friends for a change rather than being engrossed in getting enough pictures and information t base an article on. One of these friends was Denny from the Phantom Horsemen MC who wished me to convey their heartfelt congratulations to one of their Brothers; Whiskey Jack on one full year of being clean and sober. It wasn’t an easy task and many said that he would never do it. So I will respectfully join in those congratulations. Good Stuff Whiskey! We are all proud of you! I still had stuff to accomplish so I collected my much appreciated trophy, said my goodbyes and pointed the trike towards the West.

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Aces and Eights Christmas in July It was a beautiful day to be a biker. The sun beating down from clear blue skies. The warm wind flowing over me like a balmy lotion. The trike running like a dream and eating up the miles that wound through some of the nicest scenery that this Province has to offer. On my way to share a beer, some laughs and some chatter and the warm hospitality of some great folks; The Aces and Eights MC. Who were holding their Annual Christmas in July Poker run. Very conspicuous by their absence was the large presence of Law enforcement who are usually watching the entrance to the property providing security for the Club and its guests at the taxpayer’s expense. It was a refreshing change. This too was not my event as The Scott and Tanya (SAT) Team had been on the job here since early this morning and were doing a great job of covering the event that collects and distributes toys and such to needy children but I was in the neighbourhood, they are great people, I was thirsty and they keep a 50 or two on ice for me for just such an occasion. Their coverage will appear later in this issue but I can still drop in for a visit and visit I did. Birdman with the help of Lace who went in to retrieve it and courtesy of Caesar who made the donation of a new feather for my hat to replace the old one that suffered badly through all that I put it through in all my travels. I sat and enjoyed a beer, talked and just relaxed awhile before climbing aboard the Trike for a most enjoyable and relaxing ride home. All in all it was one of the most relaxing days that I have had in years. Smiley and Company I had met Mike and Linda before at the Spring Motorcycle Show earlier this year and instantly liked them. Our girl Sticker Chick raves about them constantly about how they helped her out of a pinch. They began advertising with us and when offered the opportunity for this feature instantly said yes! So we made arrangements for a time to make it happen and I gathered up my crew. Yes along with the recent additions to our growing list of Roving Reporters who are making my life a lot easier, I have taken on a photographic assistant. She is a very sweet young lady by the name of Nichole who could easily be at home on either side of the lens who recently graduated from a photography course and wanted to gain some practical experience and asked me if I could use her. Now I never refer to myself as a photographer but rather just an old guy with a decent camera and while I know how to frame shots and pretty much know what I’m looking to achieve when I point my camera at a subject, I rely strongly on the law of averages and just take a whole lot of pictures in hopes that there will be enough good ones to compensate for the bad ones. I know little or nothing about lighting, shutter speeds other such adjustments, other than what information I managed to retain in my muddled old brain from the workshops that I took at my local Henry’s Camera stores. For me these workshops are very informative and I understand it all but it amounts to information overload and when I go to put into practice what I was told, I can’t remember a thing. Photography is an art and good photography is a skill developed by practice and experimentation and


solid understanding of different techniques achieved by at the very least reading the manual. For me it is learn what I can through doing or from help from those who do know what they’re doing while I’m doing it. Now Nichole knows what she’s doing and I figure that she can help me as much or more than I can help her so it is a trade-off that we should both gain from. Nichole also came complete with a large group of young, very attractive models and I was need of one on short notice and she was able to book a lovely blonde named Victoria for the shoot. Bright and early our merry band climbed aboard the recently washed Black Bitch 2 and headed out through the rain to bright lights of Ripley and followed my friendly GPS’s directions that took us right to the door of Smiley and Company Custom Motorcycles although there were times when I figured she was just screwing with me with stupid routing and taking me down narrow (One Lane.) gravel roads apparently for no other reason than she just wanted to get the now reasonably clean truck dirty as Hell. I theorised that the car wash people might have reprogramed it while they were in there supposedly wiping the dash and windows. The old get them dirty and bring them back soon ploy! Any how we arrived and were met by first the puppies; Daznik and Mia (Not sure who was to get top billing) and then Mike and Linda who led us first to the washroom and then to the large shop located across from the house. The doorway opened to a very spacious main shop area with several occupied lifts and tool boxes and distinct machine shop areas. Mike had been turning some custom part on the metal lathe when we arrived and he finished that up while Linda showed us around. We exit the main shop area through a wide doorway that opens to the storage/movie theatre area. They started to apologize for the plainness of the shop thinking that I’d be used to fancy shops with flashy décor and such and that their humble shop somehow didn’t measure up to certain standards. I explained that their shop is very similar to shops where I get the work done on my bikes and that shops are judged by real people by the quality of work that comes out of them rather than flashy appearance. From my experience, with shops and people is that often flash and flare are merely distractions so you don’t notice the flaws or shortcomings and fall into the; “She

ain’t pretty she just looks that way.” Category. And from what I hear the quality of workmanship, the level of service and the honesty and sincerity that is the solid reputation of this shop wins hands down over glitz and empty promises. We had a great time and it worked really well with Nichole and Victoria looking after the photography part (Although I would have like to have seen Nichole’s handling of lighting. I have to learn this stuff!) While I got to do a proper interview with Mike and Linda rather than just squeezing in interview sessions between the model`s wardrobe changes which is my norm. We got it done, loaded up the truck and headed for home this time ignoring the insistent prompts from the GPS and avoided what proved to be totally unnecessary trips down narrow gravel roads which thus lent credence to my Car Wash reprograming theory. Any how it was a great day and from what I saw and heard, Sticker Chick wasn’t exaggerating at all in her many raves about this shop and the tremendous people who own and operate it. We did manage a much needed stop at Harley`s Pub in downtown Mildmay where we had a great lunch and yes, damn it, they do serve 50! It is a great biker friendly stop and they now carry The Riders Mag! Stop in and check them out if you’re in the area. I`ll end this column this month with a bit of wit and wisdom provided by a couple of good friends; For the sake of your readers, I have researched the definition of politically correctness and I would like you to make sure your readers get access to this. As follows: Political correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and supported by a left wing mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end. Glenn Carducci, and the gorgeous and talented Pamela

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Hello fellow inmates...

by Dangerous Donnie from Durham

The long and short of it...and various excuses... Well this will be a brief read my friends as I have spent a lot my time just enjoying the weather and riding so don’t shoot me Critter and Editor Al...It appears I have missed out on my duties of attending many our readers and supporters events over the last month. Also grabbing days is my music. I have been in bands for more than I would like to say ( giving my age away) let’s just say Critter and I were born in the same decade! So for beer and gas money have been earning a few bucks playing in bars and blues fests etc. The Shack and more excuses.. I have a place up north of Bancroft where I intended to fix, repair and fix the joint up, but the list has not grown shorter of stuff I gotta to do. Currently without a 9-5 slog I was going up there during the

week and coming back for rides with the club and our usual Friday get together at our CH. It’s clear I just messed around up in the drinking capital of Ontario (the small burg know as CO. aka Combermere located in the Madawaska Valley) which for those of you that know there’s great riding in the hills and valleys....have to take Club up soon.. Poker Run I missed out on the Ranger/81 poker run, which was really well attended, later that day into the evening at my local pub I stopped in for wings and beer (s) and noted a table full of Poker Run participants. I sheepishly nodded to them knowing I didn’t make run. Donnie P, a few Red Devils and my new good friend Billy and his Chosen Few MC crew all said hello and told me it was great day, with stop offs at various CH’s. Very very successful event, and another case of raising money for a those that can use the help..

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Christmas in July But I never miss the Aces and Eights MC Christmas in July Charity run for the Durham Children’s Aid. Very well attended...many clubs ...Long Horns, Chosen Few, Renegades, Rangers and all of A & 8’s good friends made it. A nice tour led by long time buddy Rusty up to Omemee and back to their house, where cool and food was served. I sat in the Light Weight No More Rust beverages CH, it was nice and cool and handy for refills. Better Fuel Economy The day was pretty toasty so I got my quota of sun, and wisely ducked into the shade. The ride itself was flawless, only downside was some young kid riding a mid 70’s 400cc Yami, www.actiontrailers.ca 1-866-885-2569 that thing must have burned about 2 quarts of oil that belched out his tiny exhaust pipes, of 4728 Egremont Dr. Strathroy, ON ( 15 min. west of London ) course being two bikes back of him I choked

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the smoke for 100kms, luckily I had a bandana to honk up around my nose which cut down the inhalation of smoke and burning oil. It was like being in back of an old outboard motor with a mix of 25 to 1 .a 2 stroke that hadn’t been run in years. But again much respect for the A & 8’s for their tireless efforts mounting this event. Good to see all of them, Sundance, Rusty, Dole, Birdman, and the rest... Ran into so many old friends and new. Some of my fellow club comrades were going to 81 west’s pool party and then up to 81 North’s bash later on, but I got comfortable and hung out in my end of town. A busy July Saturday for sure. Ran into some of my fellow Riders Mag folks, Scott and Tanya...”The Mag

So long for now we’ll meet down the road, still many days of good riding, stay safe... and speedy recovery to Ranger Brother Big Todd who at this time has been in the Hospital for a month recovering from too close a call ...and special thanks to our Pres Nick who was there like a bear when it was really serious for the Big Man and all of those that have his back while he is down....you know who you are...and you all ROCK

Hag”...(I don’t know who gave her that name) she’s a keeper, and will no doubt have better pix of the ride that I have supplied.. Laszlo and The Calendar My club brother has been going like a mad Hungarian in a cat house with his efforts to produce a calendar which will feature a MC for each month. Pictures of each club, sponsors’, advertisers will make it a real item we all will want to have a copy of. Stay tuned for further updates... we may offer the BEU a discount if they order 100 copies...LOL Shout outs Bikes on Bond event in Oshawa Aug 8th...Rain Day Aug 9th.... free event...downtown streets shut down for bikes only...live bands. food ...vendors....show and shine....a cool place to hang for a day. Chosen Few MC Ride for Issac, Summer Sizzler Simcoe, Downtowns Boat Cruise, so many events so little time...enjoy and support these efforts can only continue to be held with our attendance.

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One for the road …..with Lil Red I’ll admit it, I’ve almost rear ended a few vehicles because of gawking at a shiny paint job with kick ass pipes. I’m talking about a beautiful motorcycle. I can’t help it, seeing the gleam of pipes with a smoking paint job, it’s definitely a distraction. It’s in my DNA. From a little punk, I’ve always loved the look of motorcycles…especially the matte black ones. My Mother used to make me go to Church. And after a few weeks of going, I decided I wasn’t going anymore. The Church bus still came to our building, and they’d buzz for my

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289-808-9190 Mother to send me down. But once I left our apartment, I would ‘escape’ out the back way. We’re talking an 8 year old escapee here. After two or three weeks of this, the bus quit coming and my Sundays were finally free. All I wanted to do was to go to the beach and watch those big, beautiful shiny bikes pull in and park side by side. The sun shining on those chrome pipes was better than any shiny car accessory or hot rod in my eyes. Like I said, it’s in my DNA. For the past 15 years I’ve had this intense need to obtain my motorcycle license Small Engine Sales and Repair and buy my own bike. It was all I wanted. Some women want marriage and babies. I’ve always said “Hell no…I want a bike!” SMALL ENGINES But, I had to wait. Being a single Mom, I WATERLOO W ATTERLOO A R OO O O was working two jobs (519) 885-3860/1(877) 776-3379 to pay the bills. And ever since my son was young and I mentioned wanting to get a bike, he told me that he was scared about me riding. He worried that I’d get hurt. He’s 22 now, and a couple of years ago he told me that he was ok with it. (But he still has gotten on Mikes Want a Great Shine only bike once……….. so far!) Once I was able to That Will Last ? get my license though, I was done. This was defiAuthorized Service, Parts and Repair Centre for: nitely better than marBriggs & Stratton Tecumseh Kohler riage! Unfortunately Stihl Lawnboy Mtd though, riding in the city Toro

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was all that was available for me where I lived. I’d use my lunch hours and all my free time to find long and winding roads to explore. So it didn’t take long for me to move out to the 705. All these little towns and long highways in between were begging to be ridden. And it’s far more enjoyable being stuck behind a farm tractor on our country roads, then being stuck behind a knob in rush hour traffic. I’d much rather come face to face with a cow standing in the middle of the road, just begging me to TRY and pass his ass on that road, than to deal with some of the assess on our city roads. I began to write about my experiences, cause I’ll be honest, some of these experiences were quite comical to not share with my friends. Which brings me to this. My first assignment for the mag was The Kawartha Bikers Church Show ‘n Shine. When I decided to attend this event, I was stumped on what I should wear. Most of my riding gear is black, with some curse word or rated R image. So, I pulled out my half naked t-shirt of Marilyn Monroe. Hey! What redblooded man would not appreciate that? Even at an event held at a Church. Riding to Peterborough, I must’ve been excited to get to this event as I was speeding most of the way there. If the 5-0 had pulled me over, I’m thinking I would’ve tried using the assets that the good Lord gave me. Amen. When we arrived, we turned into a large parking lot lined with sparkling paint and chrome. Now MY Church was NEVER like this!!! If it was I may not have detoured out that back door to miss the bus.! I made my first mission to find Pastor Dave, the man of the hour. Some of the bikes were so spectacular though, that I had to stop and take pics. The imagery on some of these rides, the chrome on the rims, these rides were definitely well taken care of. Skulls, historic cars, and colour combinations adorned some, and each time you walk by the same bike, you’d see something that you missed before. Pastor Dave tried his best to take a moment to answer some of my questions, but you could tell he was well depended on, because no sooner did I ask a question, he was being called by an associate or two helping with the event. So I retreated to do what I love to do, look at more bikes. He found me later though, to answer any questions that I had. I sourced out the food rather quickly and I must say, Pastor Dave made sure the burgers that were served were above expectations. Plus, the vendors didn’t disappoint. I scored some treats, as well as my new “Harley Fund” jar (hey! Christmas is coming!) Wandering the event gave me the opportunity to meet up with some of the participants, such as Krazzy. He mentioned his motorcycle shop, (one that is well beyond just the oil change and turning wrench type shops.) He’s custom, and I’m guessing more of a work-of-art type shop, and I immediately thought, “I gotta go see his shop” because I bet some of



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the winning bikes at this event featured his work. And my ride needs some creative style. During the show, I was able to see some tattoos in the competition. There were a couple that were exceptionally done, and I was introduced to one of the artists, John from Inspiration Tattoo. If you get the chance, check out this guy’s work. Now as the awards progressed, I noticed some guys won more than one trophy. I’m not surprised when you see their ride. Best in Class went to Big Bill, Best Trike went to our man Critter, and Best in Show went to John Hamilton (who won more than one I may add). While walking up to receive his massive trophy, he said “I’ve just donated a bunch of these back to the event!” I just wondered how he was gonna get this one home. Whisky won for best paint. Cookie (who, when I met her

later, said she used to write for the mag) also took home some hardware. Different MC clubs were out, and I was introduced to some guys from the Renegades. They were a great group of guys. When speaking with them, you could tell they were there to support Pastor Dave and The event, but they made sure they had a little fun of their own. The Phantom Horsemen were also there and were only too happy to allow pics to be taken of their rides. There was even a trophy for the MC that had the most representation. The Redneck Rebels took home the hardware in this category. This Show ‘n Shine was a really great time. How could it not be? A tattoo contest, beautiful bikes, a friendly group of guys (and girls) from various Clubs, and a lot of people just out to have a good time. (And only one request for a picture of me topless, in exchange for their pic to be taken!) The next day was a ride to an event called the Wheels, Water and Wings Show. I rode my little V-Star 1100 out to the bustling metropolis of Bancroft Ontario. I will say, the roads were an awesome ride, and you could sail at a solid 100 km/hr and not worry about many Cagers. They’d move out of our way pretty quick. I will say, many of the riders flew past the entrance, and it Mention This Ad was suggested to the parking lot guys that better signage might be and Receive a good idea. Later on, a big cardSAVE TOMORROW board sign was directing the riders that showed up. This was the very first year that motorcycles have been included in the Wheels, WaOver 15 Years Experience “We Beat All Competitors Prices” ter and Wings event. Eco Comfort Spray Foam Insulation Specialists Inc. Pulling in, there was rows of New homes, Reno’s, Attics, Crawlspaces, bikes. Old bikes, new bikes, trikes, Quonset huts and much more bikes with trailers hauling what NEW Flat and Low Slope 3lb Foam Roofing System Installers looked like a beer keg. I had the camera out before even parking Spray Foam Insulation | Pour Foam Insulation the ol’ girl. Local: 905.680.2270 Toll Free: 1.855.680.2270 Qu’est-ce que la musique????? Insulating Niagara/GTA/Hamilton and All Surrounding Areas After asking around, I found out the band was Blues Boyler and ecocomfortinsulation.com I gotta say, it was nice choice of

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tunes. They’ve been playing together for two years, and seem to have their shit together cause they sounded pretty good. A rockin’ bluesy mix of Colin James (whom I love), Stevie Ray Vaughn, Blue Rodeo and thankfully….the Eagles. A guy named Fabian found us right away, and introduced himself as the husband of my contact Jody at the BIA. He was pretty excited at how the event turned out, seeing as they only added the bike event in May. He led us over to his pumpkin-coloured Harley and he was beaming like a proud dad, I just had to take his picture. He told us of a group of riders heading in from Kingston (around 200 were expected from that ride in alone). It was then that he told us about the prizes. $100 for Best Cruiser, $100 for Best Sport, $100 for Best Off-Road and $100 for Best Custom/Specialty. I’d say Best Cruiser would be the toughest, judging by the cruisers that were here already. Knowing my bike wasn’t up to snuff for first prize, I ventured on to see what bikes were here to compete. There was a Harley with a collection of skulls that adorned the fairing, tastefully done, and personally, I’m not big on an abundance of skulls as a decorative piece but this subtle design was actually really eye-catching. And I wasn’t the only one to notice. The gas tank and fenders had a slight design that resembled the fairing, but there was enough solid paint to draw the eye’s attention. There were a couple of real nice Bobbers by Chuck Thompson. They really caught my eye as one was a baby blue with tan leather seat. I decided to ask him about his creations, and he mentioned an event in August that we should attend, and he swears the views would be worth it! Mikes favorite was a stunning blue soft tail, lowered and covered in polished chrome. For the motorcycle parts swap meet, there was a guy there with some handy little parts, some harder to find than others, so the idea of a swap meet was a good call. The beer tent was a big hit as always, food was great and even Beaver tails!! I came away with a couple more shirts and had a great time browsing the other venders. I’m sure, with the turn-out at this year’s event that they will be including motorcycles at next year’s Wheels, Water and Wings will only get bigger and better. Just as we thought the event was winding down, a guy rode in with a Harley that had a trailer and Drum. This was la piece de resistance. It came in a little late and missed the judging deadline and out of the running for the cash prize but I thought, took the front of the line. Talking with some local folks, we found out what we missed in this weekend’s events. My jaw dropped when I found out about the Vintage Car Show on the Friday. My weekends consist of motorcycle shows, events and rides, but occasionally, I’ll sneak off to a Vintage car show. I’ll be honest, most cars of today cannot compare to these ageless beauties. Bancroft’s Jack Brown Airport offered airplane rides in a Cessna for $50! That sounds like an awesome idea….. SOUNDS like an awesome idea…… Until I get there. That awesome idea would then become an awesome holy crap ride! I’d panic for sure. I can ride my motorcycle inches away

from an 18 wheeler coming at me in the opposite direction of traffic and feel ‘safe’, but ask me to step into a plane and I’m not sure it’d look like a positive experience for anyone watching. Hell, to get into a plane to Mexico I had to get first class and ensured I had enough to drink that I couldn’t say my name, let alone spell it. Maybe these Cessnas are the way to go. Now, while talking to some people in the beer tent (yes, they had one,…yeah!), we found out about a soap box derby that was held. All I could think of is how cool it’d be to create a soap box two wheeler!! Like a Harley! Come on! It’d be funny and I’d bet you’d win. Who’s up for it? Lol They even had a contest of You Shine it, We’ll Show It! You can bring a souped up lawn mower to a full sized back hoe and win some cash. Even a prize was awarded for the Big Rigs! I gotta say, I’m thinking that maybe next year we should make a weekend of it, rather than just showing up for just the bike show! There’s enough great backroads around Bancroft to ride. And anyone you ask out there, will tell you of a new one that ‘You gotta ride!” After a weekend of riding, looking at some exceptional pieces of two-wheeled art, (and in some cases, three-wheeled when you see Critter’s ride), talking to riders, only too willing to brag about their bikes, I had to get home for some much needed bike maintenance. I’ll admit, I‘m far from mechanically inclined, but I’m willing to turn a wrench. Anything else other than basic mechanics, I’ll go see Krazzy!

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Fighting for Your Rights Much to report regarding ongoing campaigns, outcomes & online aids to benefit the bikers of Ontario… Back in February 2011, members of the OCC Executive and the OCC Political Action Committee delivered a presentation, to the Minister of Transport for Ontario, requesting a change to the rules governing HOV access to include single-rider motorized vehicles. The presentation was not successful and we were patted politely on our heads and sent away. Motorcycle riders are the fastest growing demographic regarding licensing and vehicle registration and yet we are unable to find any government consideration in addressing our valid concerns regarding motorcycle issues in Ontario. Over the past four years, the Ontario Confederation of Clubs has collected over 2000 signatures in support of single-rider access to Ontario HOV lanes but the current Liberal government will not consider our petition and continues to display a complete disregard for biker related issues. Due to the hype of the Pan Am Games there has been a keen public interest in the Liberal Government’s attitude regarding who is allowed to drive in these designated lanes. Now is the time for all riders to rally and force change for the bikers of Ontario. Write your local MPP & the Ontario Minister of Transport (contact info listed on OCC website Information page) regarding your reasons for supporting single-rider access on Ontario HOV lanes. At a loss with naming the many beneficial reasons for access? Visit http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/occ/ and read the comments posted by riders just like you; which would also present a perfect opportunity for you to sign your name & leave your comments on the petition. BREAKING NEWS – The OCC Political Action Committee Chair – Mr. Bob Purcell, reports that there is an interest from our Provincial Government to revisit the HOV Single-Rider Access issue once the Pan-Am games are over and to also ‘look at’ possibly harmonizing motorcycle handlebar height regulations with the current regulation defined under the Province of British Columbia’s handlebar height regulation.

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Making political change is akin to swimmin’ in concrete so this is great news but it is far from a done deal - but any progress is welcome, Eh Ollie? Nice…… but now is NOT the time to relax – far from it! There must be increased pressure on our provincial representatives to make change . . . if you are a biker in Ontario, your involvement is crucial so write your MPP & the Ontario Minister of Transport & sign our petition asap but today would be better. Due to the assistance of the Ontario Confederation of Clubs Chairman – Mr. Ray Philp, there will soon be a Confederation of Clubs established to protect the rights of bikers located in Canada’s Maritime Provinces. This new organization of Freedom Fighters will function as the Atlantic Confederation of Clubs & Independents and includes members from every Atlantic Province. With the cessation of the carding issue being forced upon MTPS, the OCC believes it is also time for all Police Services entities to stop the unreasonable and disreputable police tactic of interfering with the lawful activities of bikers. The practice of stopping bikers simply because of their demeanor also falls under the heading of profiling a visible minority. To assist bikers, who are pissed-off because they were the focus of this archaic method of law enforcement, there is now an interactive Police Stop & Harassment Form available on the OCC website. This form can be filled-in online and forwarded to the OCC for inclusion in a database which, it is hoped, will lead to a document that will assist our efforts to put an end to this disgusting infringement

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upon our precious free time. Go to www.occ4u.org then go to the ‘Information’ page and click on the subject ‘Check out the Police Stop & Harassment Form’ from the selection list. The OCC has also launched


a Facebook® page dedicated to highlighting businesses and events that are either biker friendly or not. The different entities are defined as either Black or White and you are invited to add your experiences (either good or bad) via your comments, pics etc. Go to www.facebook.com and enter ‘The Ontario Biker Black List’ and perhaps leave your comments? This month’s OCC feature club is Leather & Lace M.C. The club was formed in 1983 when a group of concerned women riders wanted to help children. The club experienced slow growth because it was the 80’s and women riding motorcycles were rare. Today, the club proudly boasts chapters throughout North America (including Ontario) and the United Kingdom. Members of the club are proud of their sisterhood and that they all share an unwavering purpose and spirituality. Although individual chapters are geographically separated, the club bonds all members together as one entity. What’s with the club name, you ask? ‘Leather’ represents the inner strength of women and the physical strength necessary to ride a big machine while ‘Lace’ represents their femininity, an intimate and important quality to becoming a member. After 33 years, Leather & Lace M.C. members enjoy riding on a world-wide scale. The club also believes in supporting local charities particularly those charities that benefit children. Need more info? Visit www.leather&lacemc.com On a personal note, it is good to be back on the road & enjoyin’ the saddle-bum way of life. Havin’ a new machine don’t hurt none either, Eh Ollie? Due to the demise of our personal family members, 2014 was a mess due to the devastating heaviness of grief and the shouldering responsibilities necessary to complete the circle of life. But life goes on for the living and now I am back. To date I have attended four motorcycle events and I am blown away by the warmth expressed by so many friends & acquaintances’ both old and new. The Unity Ride 2015 was my first outing (an amazing day for Freedom Fighters) – followed by Bikefest Bobcaygeon (truly a biker event extraordinaire) - followed by the Aces & Eights Xmas in July (awesome ride run by awesome clubbers) – followed by Bikers Church S&S (quality peeps & outstanding bikes). By the time you read this – I will be halfway through my motorcycle trip around the Rock. Once back in Ontario, I will be working extremely hard to advance our cause on many fronts. Hang tough – it can & will get better!

Larry Lilly aka Rooster OCC Treasurer treasurer@occ4u.org @roostahrider Rooster Rider

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Joke A Jewish daughter says to her mother, “I’m divorcing Nathan. All he wants is sex, sex and more sex. My vagina is now the size of a 50-cent piece, when it used to be the size of a 5-cent piece.” Her mother says ….. “You’re married to a multi-millionaire businessman You live in an 8 bedroom mansion! You drive a $250,000 Ferrari! You get $2,000 a week allowance! You take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all that away over 45 cents?” NOW THAT’S A JEWISH MOTHER ! Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 82-year-old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this

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Page incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, --- when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a fleshand -blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. Be aware that it is an OFFENSE under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Let me level the playing field even further.


When you call me, press buttons as follows: IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH #1. To make an appointment to see me. #2. To query a missing payment. #3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there. #4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping. #5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature. #6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home. #7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier. #8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7 again #9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. #10. This is a second reminder to press* for English. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call. Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrange- ment. May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year? Your Humble Client And remember: Don’t make old people mad. We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off. Cause of arthritis A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, ‘Say Father, what causes arthritis?’ The priest replies, ‘My Son, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.’ The drunk muttered in response, ‘Well, I’ll be damned,’ then returned to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. ‘I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?’ The drunk answered, ‘I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.’

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519-743-9710 www.tinceiling.com The professor takes off his glasses and says ‘Son, in all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost.’ ‘You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.’ The Afghani student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks: ‘So, Ahmed, tell us what it’s like to have sex with ghosts ?’ Ahmed replied, “Sorry! from way back there I thought you said goats.” An elderly lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said, “Pardon me, madam.. I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?” “Yes, I know,” said the lady. “I need both my hands to Continued on Page 54

A professor at Adelaide University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, ‘How many people here believe in ghosts ?’ About 90 students raise their hands. ‘Well, that’s a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost ? About 40 students raise their hands. ‘That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost ?’ About 15 students raise their hand. ‘Has anyone here ever touched a ghost ?’ Three students raise their hands. ‘That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to ghosts ?’ Way in the back, Ahmed bin Talabi raises his hand.

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Smiley and Company Custom Motorcycle is a little off the beaten path on paved Concession 6 East near the Town of Ripley, number 2549 to be exact, but well worth the trip. It may be hard to spot if you don’t know what you’re looking for as the planned signage at the end of the long tree lined driveway hasn’t happened yet. But if you’ve been there once you will remember how to get back there as it is well worth the trip. You are first greeted by two very enthusiastic but well behaved shop dogs Draznic (Polish for Annoyance.) and Mia (As in me a good dog or me a hungry dog.) and then owners, Linda and Mike who have been alerted that company has arrived and they escort you to the shop or house (Which is located across from the shop.) depending on the purpose of the visit. The shop is large, well equipped, well lit, airy and well suited to Mike and Linda who chose function over fancy and this shop is very, very functional and serves as a traditional, old school shop where the work gets done right and the customers can feel at home. While this shop has only been open for two years it is the culmination of many years of hard work and learning the business and is now a dream come true for two people who truly enjoy each other’s company, working together and share a passion for motorcycles. They truly do work together as Linda who is more than a pretty face or window dressing, has her side of the shop and her own tools and Mike has his. Linda who by trade and training, works full time as a mechanical technologist, designing and building piping systems for refineries and gold mines and started wrenching after she met Mike. Mike got his start with all things mechanical at the tender age of four working with his Dad who did mechanical maintenance for the Bruce Generating Station before the family moved to Gilbert Arizona, located about twenty minutes from Phoenix where he picked up more experience and knowledge. He moved back to Sarnia where

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he worked at various jobs, driving long haul for West Coast trucking and hauling camper trailers and working on their own rides and those of friends in an old ten by ten metal shed. After nine years they moved to Kincardine where he worked for Canadian Tire at various jobs from parts guy, to mechanic, to service manager and with his background and interest in automotive high performance systems he helped The Corporation refine the way performance parts were catalogued so they could better define themselves as being able to fit into that niche market. All the while the couple was working part time wrenching on, building and modifying bikes for friends and friends of friends and friends of those friends and soon found themselves extremely busy and enjoying it. So much in fact that two years ago they moved to the current location and set up home and headquarters for Smiley and Company Custom Motorcycle. The shop itself was a blank canvas as it was just a big empty building and Mike and Linda began renovating the place to best suit their needs adding to their ever expanding machine shop area, tools and equipment as need arises and budget dictated. They work on all makes and models of motorcycles and do regular maintenance, rebuilds, restoration, custom, ground up builds, tires, some custom machining of brackets and “One of” parts, custom exhaust systems, retrofits and such in house and can arrange for custom paint and other specialty work through their large and expansive network of specialists and professionals. They also offer winter storage. Mike and Linda have earned their reputation as fair, honest, reliable and trustworthy business people and have proven themselves worthy of the trust and respect of not only, the very large local riding community but are now getting customers bringing their bikes to them from as far away as Pickering through referrals. They have no set hours of operation and have helped many desperate riders out of predicaments at some pretty strange hours (Day or


night weekdays or weekends.) as, according to Mike, breakdowns and situations seem to have no set times to occur and usually happen at the worst possible time. They are very innovative and not afraid to try something a little different or to go above and beyond what may be considered the norm with some other shops. Little things, like cleaning the bike before giving it back to the customer, offering their personal rides as loners and actually listening to their customers. People are treated like people here and not just a necessary evil and a way to make a living. They care about their customers and go out of their way to make sure they are satisfied. They believe that the motorcycle should fit the individual rider and it should be unique to them and their particular riding style and research and evaluate products to make sure that they do what the manufacturer’s products actually match the claims so they can best advise their customers before they lay out their hard earned dollars. To them, the process of personalizing a motorcycle to best fit the needs of the customer is more than letting them thumb through the parts catalogues and picking out various chrome goodies but advising them of what would work best based on talking to the customer to discover their own expectation. Mike and Linda don’t just serve the motorcycling community but are actual participants in the life and lifestyle. They hold regular biweekly movie nights where they screen movies (Actual screen and projector.) serve refreshments (A real popcorn machine, popcorn.) for their many friends and customers who have become friends and are open to anyone and everyone. Their ultimate goal is to soon have both of them working full time together and building this shop bigger and better. They support local charity events and recently not only participated with ABATE and The Steel Horse Riders in their very effective Rider Awareness Campaign where they staged accidents involving motorcycles, (Linda filled in as a victim and laid on the hood

of a car.) but invited all participants back to their shop for a barbecue. If you’re in the area stop and need some repairs, service, advice on how best to proceed with a custom project, in the mood for a good movie with a side order of freshly popped popcorn or just want to see if I’ve exaggerated about them pop in and check them out. You’ll be glad you did.

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Lord Protect “...and then we took Berlin”

(Leonard Cohen) I rode with the boys from Norway, the length of Denmark, across Germany, down to Prague (Czech), through Bratislava (Slovakia), to Budapest (Hungary), then to Belgrade (Serbia), through Macedonia, and across the beautiful Greek mountains to the Big Party on the exquisite island dotted Aegean Sea. We returned through Venice, Italy, the Italian and Austrian Alps to Vienna, across a different Germany route, up Denmark and across to Norway for an 8000 kilometer ride. We started out in the cold rain, wearing every piece of clothing we had topped with rain gear and full face helmets. Do this trip with a half helmet at your peril. As we progressed east and south, layers of clothing came off until wearing shorts. The return trip involved adding all our clothing as we returned to the formidable lands of the Vikings. After riding the length of Denmark and northern Germany in cold, relentless rain and intermittent bouts of hail, Robert is starting to feel sick. A gas stop later, Robert feels awful and

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it is getting worse. We try to rent a hotel so he can recuperate. They are full. We corral him in between bikes as we proceed to Berlin. He almost crashes but makes it. We have 5 spots here in Berlin. We choose one The party is waiting and they have whatever we want including steak, chicken, and a warm bed. They like their smoke here. There are bags of chocolate bars everywhere for the munchies. Don is happy. They smoked the reefer and I had chocolate, steak, and beer.

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BEST BEEF IN HAMILTON THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 32

THE CURE FOR THE FLU Robert sits bent over in misery. The clubhouse is nice and warm. He also likes his smoke. The Bros roll him a fat 4-incher. He takes a big puff. He takes a drink from the quart of beer in front of him. He takes a nibble on the steak and chicken breasts placed for his food. He straightens a little. He starts to smile. The hard ride and all the above cures him. Soon he is joking and laughing with us. My 2015 Road Glide. I am comparing the 2015 Harley Road Glide Special that I am using for this trip with my Victory Magnum at home. The new HD is impressive. It is the best Big Twin I have ridden in 45 years of riding. The H-D stereo works great. Great means that it is better than previous years. The speaker and new faring design helps the sound delivery immensely but is still not the Magnum’s 100 watts of uncompromised quality. The new frame since 2009, is a huge improvement for handling and speed. However the Victory is more nimble. I had a panic stop with the ABS brakes. HD has improved


again but the Victory is slightly better. In fairness, both bikes have stuff that is better than the other. I cannot say one is superior overall to the other. HD has done good job but can they do better is the relevant question I have. The answer is yes they can. Victory competition with H-D will be good for you and me… the rider. As I write this article a month later back in Toronto, I read a bulletin that says H-D has recalled 46,000 bikes because of a clutch problem. There have been numerous recall fixes for the new hydraulic clutch over the past few years. When I picked up my Road Glide in Norway, I pulled in the clutch lever. Good thing I am strong because it was a tough pull. I looked quizzically at the service guy. He explained that there is another clutch recall and they wanted to make sure I wouldn’t have a problem so they installed a new clutch cylinder piston for me. I was grateful but worried about the clutch screwing up for the whole trip especially when in I was in heavy Berlin traffic. To me, the reason for a hydraulic clutch is an easy two finger pull, ideal for the weak and those with short fingers. My clutch forearm looked like Popeye’s after my ride. My worries were unfounded as the clutch worked fine and the cylinder piston loosened with time.

My 2015 Road Glide Special on a Berlin side street.

The next morning, we try to leave Berlin for Dresden Germany where we plan to turn southeast into the Czech Republic. We are hopelessly caught in a series of blocked streets that lead us to where we do not want to go. There is a major bicycle race taking up many of the thoroughfares. We are hopelessly lost in the maze. I think that Egil’s GPS will mercifully save us. It leads us further into the maze. Finally, the Polzei (police) take pity and lead the pack out to the highway. Were they nice or trying to get rid of us? I don’t know but am thankful either way. We cross into the Czech Republic. Egil’s GPS gets us lost for the second time. We are in the countryside of Road Glide hi-tech headCzech; lost but going south light, almost as good as the Magnum. so it is kind of okay. This time, I am glad that the GPS screwed up. This is beautiful here. With lush green valleys and mountainsides all around. The air is fresh and the sky blue. The roads are good, winding up-and-down through the countryside. We are low on gas. It is late Sunday afternoon and the countryside gas station is closed. We have given up looking for an open station. Juvenile delinquency 101 and my physics knowledge saves the day. We remember a lesson of life from our past wayward ways. There are two methods I know of to get

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1200 TWINNEY DR. UNIT 10 NEWMARKET ONTARIO L3Y 9E4 gas from a locked pump. The first is to extend the pump house and twirl it like a skipping rope with a buddy holding the end into the gas tank or container spout. However, the hoses on these Czech gas pumps are shorter than the ones at home so this method is a no go. The second way is to methodically jump on a portion of hose lying on the ground. This acts like a pump. My skipping prowess came in handy. Yes we left some money. We are not thieves. The GPS gets us to the main highway into Prague. The three most beautiful capital cities of Europe are Prague, Pumping gas in the middle of Budapest, and Vienna. will be riding through nowhere. Egil is taking his turn We all three. Here are some jumping on the hose to create scenes from downtown pump suction. Prague.

Lost in the Czech Republic countryside The clubhouse is on the other side of the city. We ride through the extraordinary downtown architecture. I experienced downtown Prague last time I was here for another big party about 12 years ago. The police were none too friendly to us back then. They like their machine guns here. They borrowed a tank from the military, parked it at the front of the run site and lowered its cannon aiming at US for our 3-day party. Authorities have done their best to intimidate me for my whole life so it becomes a bit of a yawn after awhile. With that said, make no mistake, the authorities will hurt you here if ordered to.

Prague Old Town I found the high street curbs in Prague more dangerous, especially after dark. Prague is a city of quaint cobblestones, streetcars, and curbs. The streetcars have their own lanes protected by high curbs. The cobblestones are uneven and rough but the ever present curbs can be crippling to a biker not paying attention.

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Bridges over the Vitava River


Back to the present; the police are nowhere to be seen. I think they have gotten used to us. They might even be warming up to us. Like us or not, we are patriotic. Terrorism is an ever present and real concern all through Europe. These countries are not separated and partially protected by an ocean like ours. Those that wish to do harm can simply blend in with other refugees and literally walk into Europe. Others boat in across the Mediterranean or radicalize after being accepted into their new lands. We ride through to the other side of the city. Egil pulls off into a lot surrounded by high concrete walls. Fuck! It is now dark and I think we are Hanging out somewhere lost again. The wall opens in front of in Central Europe. us as a huge slab electronically slides away to open the entrance into the clubhouse. The large well groomed property sits on a beautiful treed small mountain side overlooking the cityscape. The boys from Erfurt Germany are already here as are some bros from Buenos Aries. An Argentinian brother has wiped out today but is okay. We will have a large pack riding out tomorrow‌ one of hundreds of packs converging on Greece. We settle in, drink beer and whatever, and eat home made fresh sausages off the barbeque. The clubhouse is huge. We can sleep here with about 50 others but opt for a nice clean hotel at the exorbitant price of twenty bucks that includes breakfast. Our rooms have balconies overlooking the tennis courts. Life can be tough indeed!

You want me to take you for a ride?

Sounds good to me but maybe you should ask my Wife when she comes out of the washroom!

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Our balcony at breakfast overlooks the tennis courts Bohemia is another name for Czech. The boys here wear a Bohemia bottom rocker. We decide to leave for Bratislava, the capital of Slovakia on our way to Budapest Hungary in a smaller pack. Riding in big packs is exhilarating right up until a gas stop. I am skilled at getting to the front of the line but it matters little since one must wait for everyone behind.

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Sticker

Another great annual event and my first time going but an old favorite of my old Hamilton friends. I sure do miss that old Hamilton crowd and am just to the moon to be reconnecting with so many this year. There were quite a few gals there from the Ladies Ride earlier in May, It’s been a fantastic spring and I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be to celebrate the first day of summer with! There was Marion, one of few women who I rode with in the 80’s. Nelson, my old sweetheart crush was there - even wound me up with a hug and kiss, thanks Nellie! Every year BurrheFrank’s Magic Crops, Inc. ad’s Hillbilly Rodeo chooses a charity or cause to donate to. Owner Frank Pastor Jr. This year’s proceeds Horticulturalist Class III U of T went to Vallary HallaOver 35 Yrs. Experience day, a young gal who Hydroponic Growing & Lighting Systems had broken her neck for Vegetables & Flowers when she dived into a pool last summer. Vallary was at the bash Store Hours and even got a ride in Mon. - Fri.: 11:00 - 6:00 a Royal Endridge sideSaturday : 11:00 - 3:00 car. This was another Closed Sunday “old timer” bash so there were many old friends there. For me it felt much like E-mail : crops@cogeco.net some of the rodeos Tel. (905) 333 3282 480 Guelph Line from the 90’s except Fax (905) 639 9190 Burlington, Ontario we were all about 25 Toll Free 1 800 668 0980 Canada L7R 3M1 years older.

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Stories

by Sharon

They let me set up a vendor booth to cover the gas and alcohol expenses so I did miss some of the rodeo but managed to get pictures of a few events. Vallary got a funky tie dye tee and some stickers for the back of her wheelchair. “I’m only driving like this to piss you off” will now be in view of those behind her. The weather was sketchy all day, like most recent weekends so I dodged the

raindrops and arrived dry. There were a few short showers so some went home but the best stayed on and the crowd was plenty big enough for a good time! A little rain just keeps the whiners away, the only question was . . . “was it enough rain?”. Well, it was! There was no rain or complaints for the rest of the night! There was a show and shine, bike rodeo, and live music all day and all night and it was dancing music! The door prizes were both great quality and plenty! A fire ring and a handmade quilt were amongst the favorites. Next thing you know it was getting dark and the party was full on! What happens at Burrheads stays at Burrheads sooooo . . . morning came and it was time for goodbyes again. Hope to see everyone again on Aug 15th in Cayuga for the Ride for Vallary! Mark Jack’s Memorial The July long weekend is always Mark Jack’s Memorial Run hosted by Grey Bruce ABATE chapter. Mark Jack was the first ABATE member to join Chapter 13, a chapter of members who have passed on. Mark left a party many years ago and didn’t make it home. He failed to negotiate a corner, it was a corner he knew well from both directions. It was a conflicting day with a family event taking precedent so I couldn’t make the ride but I did stop at the Grey Bruce clubhouse on the way home. They all said they had a really great ride


and it only rained the last 5-10 minutes. The ride included a stop at Mark’s gravesite so everyone could pay their respects. Again, great to see old friends and be in reminiscent surroundings. For those who drink at parties and decide to ride home, this could be your future. It doesn’t take much to throw a tent and sleeping bag on the fenders so one can stay anywhere OR don’t drink. Please, think about it before getting into the party juice. It’s your friends and family that suffer the most when you leave us behind. Smiley and Company Movie Night Great to get out to Mike and Linda’s shop again! This was their first movie night in quite some time and there weren’t too many there, but that isn’t always important, it’s quality not quantity! Linda and Mike are as busy as ever building machines, modifying machines, and improving the performance of many loyal customer bikes, it’s what they do! I ended up chatting outside with Mike and Mia (one of the shop dogs) as I had already seen Easyrider several times. Mia showed us how she is now big enough to take up the entire picnic table! There was food of course so I filled up and they forced a care package on me, that’s just how they are! Movie nights are up and running again! The best way to stay informed of time and movie is to join their facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/smileyandcompany.smiley. Big Balls Dice Run Finally a full two night weekend adventure again! A three hour tour to Aylmer and poof! the husband had me at Big Balls Dice Run at Springwater Conservation Area. From the moment I entered the gate there were friendly faces from years gone by making me feel right at home. Many clubs and organizations were there to show their support and enjoy one of the best bashes of the summer. This year was the Biggest Big Balls ever! According to staff there were over 1700 people there including staff and participants. While hunting for a good camping spot, I saw Girly Man and Harley Barbie. That sure worked out well! There was a cooler to share, coffee in the morning, neighbors competing with breakfast recipes, and constant smiles and laughter. I met all kinds of new people right there and found my old friends Shelley and Dave three campsites over. I even found a really nice indoor, semi-secret full, service flush bathroom close by

with hot and cold running water, it just couldn’t get any better . . . or could it? It was only Friday but there were already goodie vendors, a rockin’ band, and food thanks to the London Downs Syndrome Association who ran the food booth from dawn till almost dawn! I got settled in at camp, primed the pump with Uncle Bailey and next thing you know we were down at the band area dancing in the wood chips! Then sud- It’s Kool To Drink Healthy denly, withFill your 18L Jugs with out warning, Reverse Osmosis Water somebody decided it was At Our New Inside/Outside Fill Station a good idea to go to the “other” campsite for a drink. Well that was a trek and a half! Over the river Better and through Better Tasting the tunnel to Tasting Ice G ra n d m o t h - Water er’s house 2228 Chiefswood Rd, RR 2 Ohsweken N0A 1M0 we went! We Mon - Fri 8:30am to 6pm should have 519-445-0292 koolkidzice1@gmail.com taken a few

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drinks just for the trip. The “other” campsite was not quite ready for us as we stumbled, guffawed, and laughed our way through the cage, into the tunnel, across the bridge, down the hill (return hill climb) and to grandmother’s house we go! The tunnel pictures tell the story, there was enough alcohol at the “other” campsite to fuel the adventure home, we even made it past the troll! Saturday was the Big Balls Dice Run. The morning started with an armful of mags and coffee at the neighbors. All perked up I started delivering the morning Rider’s Mag to those who wanted it. It didn’t take long and they were gone! Thank you all for the supportive words and your appreciation of The Rider’s Mag. The Dice Run left at noon, heading to the Port Burwell Legion. The Legion parking lot could never fit all the bikes, nor could street parking but luckily the neighbor kitty corner to the Legion offered Free Parking all over their property. They allowed bikes to park anywhere on their front lawn, side lawn, other side lawn, and wherever they would fit.

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The young man that lives there crushed pop cans all week so they would be ready to fit under kick stands. This guy ran, and I mean RAN, every time he saw another bike pull in then waited patiently for the biker to park before offering them an already crushed can. My hope for the future generation is restored once again! After the ride it was time for the rodeo games. There were the old favorite standbys like the weenie bite, burnout, ride the plank, water balloon toss, slow race, needle in a haystack and more. The balloon toss was entertaining with the dude and the stand on the seat gal battling it out for the win. Neither one could miss so they finally made them do it sitting backwards. They still couldn’t miss so then it was two balloons each! She caught one and he caught none so she won! Great balloon toss battle! After the games it was time for the big dinner with roast beef and pulled pork! By the time we had an after dinner drink, it was time for another band night! Shattered played on Saturday night and although it had been a long day, we weren’t quite done yet so off we went to dance in the wood chips again! By the end of the night Girly Man and I had to take shifts dancing with Harley Barbie who apparently was also Dancing Barbie, we just couldn’t keep up! It was another great adventure where I made new friends, met up with old friends, and danced the nights away! Some honourable mentions I saw at the event would include Jenn Ephgrave who organizes the Ride for Lupus. Jenn was having a busy weekend having just presented the Ride for Lupus cheque to Sick Kids Hospital for $1,625.05! I also met Wizard, another Rider’s Mag connection. Many people think The Rider’s Mag crew know one another but the truth is some of us haven’t even met! We’re just bikers from here and there that for different reasons ended up in-


volved in this wonderful production. Sales Parts & Service Sunday morning came and with it was the packing up and the goodbyes. It’s hard Clothing & Accessories to say goodbye sometimes so I prefer “see ya next year!”. Sunday was another fantasWe Ship tic day for a ride and next thing you know we were laughing and acting up again. 905-436-6487 Other than the rogue horse and buggy incident, it was another perfect ride! Georgian Bay ABATE Opening Run and BBQ We met at noon for a ride. It was a sweltering hot day so not riding was not an option! The ride took us up the west side of the Bruce Peninsula, across at Lion’s Head, and down the east side of Lion’s Head. It was great to see Chico and Sandra again and of course Girly Man and Harley Barbie Always wear a helmet, too! I split off from the ride at Wiarton to eye protection and protective get back home to feed my dogs and pack clothing and obey the speed limit. the bike before heading off to the FreeNever ride under the influence dom Machine Motorcycle Show for the of drugs or alcohol. rest of the day/night. The Georgian Bay Victory and Victory Motorcycles are registered trademarks of Polaris Industries Inc. Ride went back to the clubhouse for refreshments, a BBQ, and camping. event. With a $20 entrance fee that covered Freedom Machine two bands, the ongoing motorcycle show, This year was the first annual for the Freedom Machine at the Frontier camping AND a bike giveaway included, you Ghost Town just outside of Markdale. I had fond memories of this property really couldn’t go wrong! Thanks for a great from years gone by when ABATE rented it for their annual bash. Rick still first event Jay, really looking forward to next owned the property and the old town is almost exactly as I remember but year! with much bigger trees, that’s when you know it’s been a while. Lots of memThe rest of the summer looks ories there, now there are even more! Really neat bikes, half the fun was jam packed with both new and trying to figure out what bike was made from which bikes. old events. I can’t possibly thank The event was organized by Jay Tyrell who put together garage builders the new and old friends enough from near and far to show case their talents on all makes and models. I no- for all the poops and giggles so ticed a lot of these motorcycles were modified and fabricated to fit motor- far this season, see you soon! cycle parts that were never designed to be put together. I was late getting ‘Until next time, Ride On!’ there and saw a lot of classic home-builts leaving as I was heading down the county road. Luckily there were plenty left to look at when I did finally arrive. The Gold Wing with the Suzuki tank was definitely one of my offshore favorites. Strange “hole” where a Gold Wing tank would normally be. There were Nortons and Triumphs for the fans of Lucas wiring. One of the camp1-800-310-1389 sites close by housed three wondrous machines. There was a 1917 Excelsior, 2822 HOWARD AVE. VE. WINDSOR, ON a 1940 Indian complete with fire extinguisher, and an Indian moped. I had RIDING GEAR SUPERSTORE never seen an Excelsior outside of a fancy bike show and never knew Indian Motorcycle Jackets, Pants, built a moped so it was quite a treat to talk to the owner and get some great Gloves, Helmets, Rain Suits pictures of these classics. Then there was that rockin band in the afternoon! I was wandering around the bike area when I turned the corner for my first visual of the afternoon band. I can tell you I was absolutely shocked to see a couple of kids about eleventeen years old rockin out old school tunes! And they rocked it better than some bar bands! Not sure of the name of this group but they might have a future in bringing back good old rock and roll! Chris and the crew from Tiny’s Motorcycle and ATV Repair were there. JOE ROCKET TOUR MASTER Tiny and the crew are another bunch of people that are always smiling, so it should be no surprise that anBOULET SPEED & STRENGTH other evening of laughter was in BATES SOA SHOEI my future. There was the air matFLY WESTERN TEKNIC tress blow job contest - no rules! RACING WEAR GEAR Finally, a group effort got that puppy blown up real good! AfTALISMAN MOTORCYCLE LUGGAGE ter the air mattress win we were SADDLE BAGS RIDING BOOTS well primed with refreshments WINDSHIELD POUCHES VESTS so we headed to the music! The CHAPS GLASSES TANK BAGS evening Rock-a-Billy band had everyone bogeying including the HOODIES T-SHIRTS GOGGLES dancing dog! That bitch had as PATCHES STICKERS BIKER PINS much fun as anyone! There are already rumours Come in and Visit us or that next year will be a full weekShop Online at www.leatherking.ca end or possibly long weekend

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THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 39


Slick Shovel

This month’s feature guy is Randy from Harrow and this 1981 FX Superglide has been his ride for more than 25 years at this point saying he bought the bike back in 1991 and at that time it actually looked like a superglide although it was green. This incarnation of the bike is the latest but has been a work in progress for about the past 3 years now. He got the idea to make it look more like an FL about 5 years ago saying that he usually gets bored with his ride after about 5 years and decides that he wants to make some changes. In the early changes it could be as small as just a color change other times it can be a larger production but one thing is for sure whatever he starts each fall his bike is back together on the road and ready to ride before May the 1st each year. So this last transformation came to him in the form of an FL front end at a swap meet, he was with a buddy and they were lookin at the front end and trying to decide if it would fit onto his FX frame and also trying to haggle the price down.

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Not sure that it would fit he moved on looking for another opportunity to procure an early FL front end, saying that he never did find another and never made it back to that vendor but good fortune came to him in the form of another swap meet the same vendor, same front end and a agreeable price reduction and he was thinkin hard about changes to his bike. Well once he had committed himself to the FL look he needed to expand it to his entire bike saying that he was able to obtain a set of stretched custom sportster tanks that rode up higher over his engine, picked up a set of chrome rocker


boxes for his shovel saying that now that they could be seen beneath the fuel tank the polished aluminum just needed too much polishing so he decided to go chrome. There was a small glitch with the new boxes though as they apparently spec’d different that the ones he had on the bike previously he said that he had a friend install the boxes and when he was done the motor made a funny racket. He tore the boxes off again only to find that the rockers where hitting the inside of the boxes, a small adjustment with the Dremel first time around was not enough but the problem was finally resolved on the second try, chrome rocker boxes and no noise, it’s a good thing. Since the front end came with a wheel Randy sourced a similar looking wheel for the rear of the bike saying that he was looking for something that sat on the same diameter axle as his old wheel. After having a friend’s son make a few spacers at work and boring the hole in the sprocket a little larger that his was good to go. Since the new wheel was larger a new fender was in order and he had a hinged rear fender off an old FL but he didn’t like the look so he grabbed a second welded the two together and make himself a custom steel rear fender. The front end did not come with a fender but he picked up a fibreglass fender at a swap meet and extended it at the

rear so that it matched up with his custom creation on the back of the bike. Once he had all the pieces in place, time was running out so he had to get to paint and get his bike back on the road before that May 1 deadline. He says that he was going for yellow and white two tone with a black stripe. I know it looks like that in the pics but the bike was purple in its previous incarnation and he pointed out if you look closely you could see that the strip was actually the purple from the previous paint. That rolled out of his living room last year, well he was not finished by a long shot saying that sometimes his updates take a few years to reach completion. That front end he bought came with a quick release windshield but what he really wanted was an old school FL fairing on his bike so he picked up one of them last year and made plans to get that installed this past winter. It was a bit of a challenge to get the brackets from that windshield to match up with the fairing but with a fair amount of imagination and a little bit of time he was able to get the job done. Additionally he was able to get the oil pot and the battery tray painted yellow this past winter which the previous year were still in the old purple. As a side note; this bike also is equipped with a set of shovel original hard bags and when he sent me in the picture of the bike it was wearing hard bags but he decided early in the season to take it out for a scream and like so many others

before him the lid detached from the bag and went sailing through the air gaining a significant amount of road rash in the process so he removed the bags from the bike pre shoot. So the bike is in its second stage right now and he says that he hopes to tear it down later this year to the frame so that he can get that frame into yellow although as I previously mentioned unless you look closely or see the sun hit it from the right angle it sure looks black. Randy has also found a solution for his bag lids saying he picked up a set of later model damaged just so he could get the fabric hinges and plans to add those this fall or at least in time for the spring of next year as well. Being a truck driver on the road all week long he doesn’t have a lot of time to take long trips although he says that he and some brothers once rode down through Kentucky, Tennessee and North Carolina for a few weeks many years ago but if he can get some time off in the summer he might like to ride out west to see his son who is working in oil town out in northern Alberta. Randy says that he would never part with his Superglide and he never really knows what he might do to it next although he kicked around billet forward controls he says that he uses all his pegs on long rides and would probably miss them. He has ruled out floor board cause the bike is just too low saying that he already drags the kickstand turning left and the pipes turning right. He says that is due to his custom suspension on the back of his ride. He wanted a lower profile so he picked up a set of short sporty shocks for the rear and says they were perfect until he actually rode saying that they just could not deal with the weight of the big twin, he solved the problem by taking a set of 14” FL shocks apart removing the spring and shortening both sides by eye with a 4” grinder, a real custom job. Ya gotta admit it’s one sharp lookin shovel thought right? Thanks Shelby for modelling for us.

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East Coast Rambler

Fo

rget Me

N

Atlantic Jeff

ot

Well here we are, in the heart of New Brunswick, retired, feet up, sipping Pina Collata’s just soaking in the good life! O.K. now that the bull shit is done, everything that I have heard about retirement is CRAP!!! I’ve been retired for 4 months now and haven’t had a day off (and Harper doesn’t pay that well either) The summer here has started really late, I saw snow in the shady areas until mid June! Now that the weather has broken it seems I’ve put more miles on my lawn tractor than I have my bike. Even my boss (Gerrie) has the itch to get out on the road. Some of the good points about the area is the scenery on any ride is spectacular and the roads are great for biking (lots of nice curves and ups & downs). Insurance on the “white couch” and all of our other vehicles is about a 1/4 of the T.O. prices and fuel is about the same. The riders here are very serious about the “life” and more than happy to help fellow rider. Now that we have the Riders Mag-Atlantic, we’ve been delivering 400 mags, so far, in about 12 locations across North/Eastern N.B. Just a note to Critter, I don’t want to hear anymore whining about not having “50” at some of the events, I can’t get an “Export” anywhere in N.B. I did get a chance to take the “couch” in the Harley/Honda spa (one of my deliveries) & had a chance to meet the service manager/mechanic only to find out he worked at Harley in Huntsville, Ont. and Harley in Barrie. The story goes, he moved to N.B. to retire but he had no room to store his tools so he decided to store them at Stewart H.D. in Miramichi, he just has to check on them 10 hrs a day, 6 days a week. As I’m writing this I’m just recovering from my first real ride, put on yesterday in St Antoine N.B., a charity run for breast cancer. A great ride well organized and about 5 hrs riding with about 350

bikes. Thanks to Ovie for the promotion of the Mags & the great people that Gerrie & I met along the ride. Better go

Fo

r

ge

e Not t M

now the “Boss” is trying to start the tractor. I am enclosing a shot of my retirement clock & a few shots of the St Antoine ride. Looking forward to more rides & the Warf Rat Rally. Hope to see some of you there. Stop by and say hi. My email & contact # should be in this issue. Call anytime. Ride safe, until next month. Atlantic Jeff signing off.


Bikers

Here is a choice you can make that can influence the outcome of your life. A faith that lasts and produces Godsized results in your lives. In Hebrews 6:12 Be not slothful, but followers of them through faith and patience inherit the promises. Here the Bible tells us what kind of people we are to follow or to imitate. The key principle for living a victorious life. If you developed faith and patience, you will inherit all the promises of God. The Bible also tells us of the kind of people we are not to follow. Psalm 78:8 warns “And might not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation; a generation that set not their heart aright and whose spirit was not steadfast with God.” This was a warning to the current generation to not be like any previous generation who was not committed to their faith. Isn’t it amazing that a large number of Brothers and Sisters chose to follow the group that we are told not to follow? A “steadfast spirit” is becoming more and more difficult to find in the day which we live. Apparently Paul saw this coming and wrote for the time will come when they will not endure...and they shall turn away 2 Timothy 4:3-4 He may have been talking about our day and age. The people who do not continue their faith, who gives up too easily, will never receive all the blessings that God’s Son paid for on the cross. Sure they may experience salvation for their soul, but Jesus paid for an ABUNDANT life! This can be your story but it doesn’t have to be! You can choice a better way. You can outlast any hardship, overcome any obstacle; and conquer any challenge you face. You are not a quitter and I’m not going to let you give up. Listen to this message Hebrews 6:12 “Be like those who stay the course with committed faith and then get everything promised to them”. I want to help you to develop a committed faith. In other words, a faith that just refuses to give in, give up or turn back! The bible says that the person with this kind of faith receives everything promised to them! That is what I

Church

want for you. Committed people are those are in it for the long haul. They don’t look for excuses to draw back, in fact, when things get tough they get tougher. Their ability to “stick it out” is based upon their deeply held belief that God is on their side and no matter what they might go through, He will stand beside them and He will bring them out. Even though you face struggles and challenges just like everyone else, stay focused. Stay fully aware that success doesn’t come easily and it is not likely to happen overnight, but to them, “QUIT” is not an option. Being comitted is the relentless resolve to keep pursuing what God has called you to do and to give it everything you’ve got everyday of your life. Paul said 1 Corinthians 15:58 “ stand firm, let nothing move you, always give yourself, fully to the work of the Lord” God is still looking for people with committed faith today to show Himself strong in their life. WILL HE FIND YOU! How would you like the blessing to be multiplied in your life? Well show God you possess committed faith! Proverbs 28:20 tells us, a steadfast man has multiplied blessings. Committed faith is something that is not measured in days, weeks, or months – we’re talking about years and decades, a lifetime. Pastor Dave david.neals@nexicom.net

2815 Argentia Road, Mississauga, Ontario, L5N 8G6 905-858-0966 • www.jacoxharley.com

Summer Hours: Mon.-Fri. 9-7 Sat. 9-4 Sun. 10-3 THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 43


Motorcyco Beau

So we have finally greeted the official beginning of Summer and now all I can think about is how the days will be getting shorter from here on so I had better get out to as many rides and events as I possibly can. I think most riders I know are pretty pleased with the riding weather that we have had up till now with a few exceptions. Many events in the Ottawa area like the Capital City Bikers Church’s Bug Run & the AOA Ottawa Rodeo celebrating their 38th Anniversary were pretty much a success and with the exception of some crappy weather on the Sunday, most of the riders that attended the Wildman’s Rodeo & Stomp had a great time. Sadly the Merrickville Motorcycle Show which was held on the Sunday of that same weekend was a complete wash out and yet that didn’t stop some folks from showing up including some riders from the 6*0*1, the Old Bastards & The Celtic Brotherhood so that perhaps about 25 or so riders attended regardless of the rain. Weather is the one part of the equation of a great weekend that riders have little control of and hopefully next year’s weather will more than make up for this year’s rain out. One other particular event that takes place in the town of Merrickville several times a year is the “Hot Dogs 4 Dogs BBQ’s” which usually takes place by the town’s LCBO, and the event supports the “A Chance Animal Rescue Inc” and with the help of volunteers, they happily serve up hot dogs and bratwursts in order to raise funds for the rescue’s veterinary expenses. This particular rescue is supported by

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tales from the Far East.... of Ontario that is!

the TCB who invite other area clubs and groups to come out for a ride and help support the rescue by having a bite to eat and maybe meet some of the dogs who presently live in the rescue. The response this year to the BBQ’s has been some of the best ever and many of the clubs that have dropped by to show their support for the rescue have been riders from the Ruffians MC, Legion Riders, All Canadian Riders Ottawa Chapter 10, Wheel Brothers MRC and members of the 6*0*1 along with several others. It is good to see a return to more and more clubs initiating at least a couple of destination rides a month where aside from the pleasure of their membership enjoying a ride together as a group they also are building goodwill in the communities that they visit. Based on the success of town of Merrickville and the way they make large groups of motorcycle riders feel welcome and their having both a motorcycle ride-in show and an extremely successful car show, they are an example to a number of other eastern Ontario communities who are considering the doing something similar. It is easy to see the potential for hosting motorcycle & car events in other towns because of the opportunity for increased tourism. In the province of Quebec you can find some sort of a festival going on every weekend and at those same events you will see the roads filled with hundreds of motorcycle riders representing dozens of clubs. They not only add to the local economy but add to the entertainment by allowing other tourists to stroll around and admire their bikes and in the end a win-win situation for everyone. Recently Duane Chevalier, (SMMC) dropped by our house accompanied by Christine and their daughter to pickup some Mags to take up to Pete’s sales in Pembroke and during our talk Duane informed me that their poker run they call “Katies Fight” had a great turnout and what surprised their club members was the turnout of riders who made the trip up the Ottawa valley to Pembroke from the


Ottawa area. The SMMC were pleased that many of those same riders who rode up taking part in their event were not only independents but there were also from number of other clubs and riding groups represented as well. Duane kindly mentioned he and his club felt at least some of this was due to the efforts of the Mag continually promoting to its readers to get out there and be reminded that the Ottawa Valley, has some of the finest touring roads anywhere. Not only does the Valley offer some of the best motorcycle touring roads in the province but at the same time riders can sample some of the hospitality and character that the upper valley is famous for. If you or your club have not been up that way yet and need a little incentive you might want to participate in the Snake River Motorcycle Rodeo hosted by the Simple Men MC that happens this Sept 5th, you will find their ad around this column and we look forward to seeing many of you there. One of the sadder incidents that took place this summer was the tragic accident that claimed the lives of both Karen & Bruce Molyneaux near Perth. Karen was the sister of Don Flinn, one of the most respected and well known bikers in the eastern Ontario motorcycle community and the founder of one of the popular motorcycle events that took place for years up in Lanark called the Pike Falls Classic. I have personally known Karen and Don for decades and the news of the accident left Bette and I devastated. Another loss to our motorcycle community was the passing of Billy White, and if you were a customer at Freedom Harley at its old location on the lower Merivale Rd then you would likely have had likely known Billy. When he left Freedom Harley he moved out to the eastern townships and until just the day before he passed away Billy and I had morning “chats” on Facebook in the wee hours of the morning, checking up on each to see how each other was feeling. Billy was dealing with COPD (chronic organic pulmonary disorder) he had lots of tough days breathing and yet we still made each other laugh and the response from those in the biker community after I posted his obit on social media made it obvious that his humor and smile charmed their way into the hearts of many people so until we meet again in Valhalla!.Billy! Brotherhood! Many of the people who read the Mag have been curious about the Busted Bucket Challenge and what it means so you should know that the Riders Mag & TCB are strongly involved in creating more awareness about traumatic brain injury and post-traumatic stress disorder. While we are hearing more about it in the news these days in regards to sports injuries and returning military personal, many riders are not aware that brain injury is one of the most common injuries suffered by motorcyclists involved in accidents. The truth is because it is an “invisible” injury unlike a broken bones and road rash the majority of the public are unaware it affects well over a half a million people in Ontario. Sadly many of those who suffer a concussion or head trauma are unaware of its severity and believe it will get “better” over time when in reality it can bring about severe depression and even lead to the breakup of families. The Celtic Brotherhood created the “Busted Bucket Challenge” which is an interactive test where the public are asked to navigate a course of pylons while wearing special optical eyewear

Pig Roast

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20

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September 5TH 2015

Rough Camping Contact Andrew 613-808-1388

20.00 per person - Gates Open at 9 am 468A Faught Road Cobden Ontario (Between Pembroke and Cobden, turn off 417 to Cornerview Rd. to Faught Rd.)

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and riding a specially built “Chopper” tricycles designed and built by the TCB in order to help the public develop a better understanding of what concussion may feel like by simulating some of the effects that often occur with a head injury. While the riders try and follow the course, both they and those in the audience become more aware of just how serious the consequences of head injury are. The Mag and the TCB want motorcycle riders and their families to be better protected should they acquire traumatic brain injury because often those hurt don’t know what to look for so they aren’t even aware they may have sustained a serious injury. They don’t know how to seek out the proper

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ANYTIME ANYWHERE ANYONE BRAIN INJURY DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE

help that they should be receiving and this could lead to them not getting the sufficient financial assistance from their insurance carriers that will need in order to deal an uncertain future. The members of The Celtic Brotherhood would also would like to thank Pace Law’s Motorcycle Division especially Ray Bonner and James JT Taylor for their support of both the Mag and the Busted Bucket Challenge by donating a griddle and generator, making it possible for the TCB to provide free breakfasts at some events they participate in while at the same time allowing them the opportunity to inform motorcycle riders about head injury and give them information needed in case they or someone they know gets hurt. All of the above being said, the BBC is also just plain fun everybody. Whether you are one of those that try to navigate the course or those watching them try. Either way it’s meant to be fun. If you don’t get to see

the BBC during the summer then keep an eye out for it at some of the motorcycle shows that take place early in the New Year. This summer a lot of riders have gone over to participate in a number of the motorcycle events stateside and it has been interesting to compare notes. While many people who usually go down to Americade decided to pass this year, those that did still agree the Adirondack’s provide some of the finest roads for motorcycling but many said the attractions and vendors were definitely down. Of course some of my friends including Perry Montgomery made the pilgrimage down to the 92nd Laconia Bike Week. While I wish I could have gone with him I also couldn’t help but feel my age because I remember that my first one being the 43rd when many of us from Ottawa went down to be part of the Gypsy Tour. In a discussion that I had with Shawn Dawson, owner of Fatboys Southern Smokehouse I was reminded that not only are they biker-friendly and a supporter of the Mag but he hopes that during the riding season some of the clubs will head down and after enjoying some of Fatboys pulled pork they will step outside and get a group picture of all the riders so that Shawn can post the picture in the entrance to the eatery. So keep that in mind but best to call first in case he isn’t there. I also want to mention a few rides or events that are either new or recently become part of the Mag family. One those events is the 25th Annual Cow Paddy Boys Rodeo & Roast which is taking place on August 14th 15th and 16th. The other event that some folks might want to take part in is the 1st Annual Ride for Pet Rescues that will take place on August 15th in the town of Smiths Falls and the last one takes place on July 25th is the 1st Annual A.R.M Chapter 94 (Association of Recovering Motorcyclists) which takes place near the town of Merrickville and I will endeavour to attend all or some of them as well. B.A. Machine Performance Cycles has had an addition to their family, Wrench aka Derek Pitcher from Eagle Custom Choppers has joined Peri and Tim and if you are over that way be sure to say hello to him. As always I want to remind you that if you are an event – ride or a business that deals with either motorcycles or the people who ride them you might like to advertise or carry “The Riders Mag” ..Please contact me by email or phone. Email: theridersmag.beau@gmail.com You can also follow me on twitter but please keep in mind I am a newbie and it will take a while before I master it. Read The Riders Mag Online: http:// theridersmag.com/online/

And as always I want to leave you with this reminder for all of you to follow... We Make Our Motorcycle Communities Stronger!... By Making Them Better!...Ride Safe! Ride Proud! ... Brotherhood! Motorcyco Beau

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Whispers of a Neoteric Nomad

I must say that I’m glad to see summer finally here. Although temperatures are not as warm as some people would like, it’s still a lot warmer that the -40º C I was writing about just a few months ago. You never know what a new riding season will bring your way as you may plan your whole summer with lots of riding and events to attend only to have an unexpected turn in the road of life upsets your journey turning it into chaos. But let me tell you, what a ride it is. The fact of being back on the road riding everywhere rain or shine makes this part of my obligations all worthwhile as well as very therapeutic for the soul. The main thing is to keep your focus on the road as well as on your goals and move forward. “A rolling stone gathers no moss!” It sure is great to be back in the saddle meeting up with old friends and making new ones along the way. This world is full of interesting and awesome people, Just jump on your scoot and go for a ride somewhere…you’re bound to find them riding their bikes like you’re doing. There’s an old saying that I modified to be non-brand specific and it goes “You meet the greatest people on a motorcycle!” During the past couple of months, I’ve met some very involved motorcycle enthusiasts that do a whole lot of good fundraising and supporting of charities in our area. Of course I’m talking about the Bacchus MC members that are always present at the many fundraisers as well as organizing their own to help out that much more. What a great bunch of genuine guys that enjoy the same motorcycle passion as most of us do. Glad to have met you guys and looking forward to seeing you on the road with more ventures between your fine group and The Rider’s Mag. Before I start on the recent rides and other activities, I would like to introduce a couple more great motorcycle guys that are outstanding as well because they’re helping us distribute this great publication throughout our vast area of Northern Ontario. To start, as you probably read about him in the last edition of the Mag from all the great work he does for the motorcycle community in and around town, is Mark from Elliot Lake. He has agreed to be our Elliot Lake and area distributor of the Mag. He’ll be bringing the printed version out to places such as Fireside Classic Bar & Grill, Elliot Lake Equipment, GR Enterprises, Northern Power Sports as well as Sights & Sounds which are all new distribution points for Northern Ontario. If you see Mark around and about, be sure to thank him for the great job he’s doing throughout the community and sur-

by That Northern Guy

roundings. Thanks Mark, we much appreciate your help! Now on the other side of the highway, on the beautiful majestic Manitoulin Island, I’d like to introduce Roger from Ride Manitoulin, to which you’ll read a lot more in the next issue about the fantastic work this individual is doing to promote and support the motorcycle lifestyle in his part of Northern Ontario. Roger has 7 distribution points that he brings out the Mags for us. Some have been distribution points for a while and others are new such as Carol & Earl’s Restaurant, Bouys Eatery, Buies Groceries, Up Top Sports Shop, Chopper Dressing Tattoo and Apparels, Nick’s Sales & Service as well as Trail Side Sports in Espanola. Manitoulin Island and area are alive when it comes to the sport of motorcycling. If you haven’t experienced the Spirit of the Island, you’re missing out!! We thank you all but mostly Roger for doing such a great job!! Bikers Reunion 2015

This year marks the 11th year this event has been happening and would you believe that they raised over One Million Dollars! ($1,066,000) for the Cancer Care Unit at the Temiskaming Hospital with over 6500 motorcycles attending this year! The Bikers Reunion started in 1999 as a fundraiser for cancer and as a community event celebrating the thrill of riding motorcycles. Over the course of that one day event, the

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feedback from the public and the riders made it clear that the organizers were onto something big. In 2004, it became an annual event at the New Liskeard Fair Grounds with several additions and expansions to become what is known today as the Bikers Reunion. This event has two main goals. The first to be a fun, family oriented weekend celebrating the sport of motorcycling as well as the second being a fundraiser to help the people who are battling cancer here in the north. Many activities are planned for this weekend event and unless you have unlimited amount of energy and stamina, it is impossible to attend and participate in them all. Aside from all the great music acts and live entertainment that is provided throughout the course of the weekend many more attractions such as The Canon ball Lady, the Boom Boy, Parasailing, vendors of all kinds from near and far, demo rides from all major manufacturers of motorcycles and even helicopter rides which I wasted no time booking my seat to take advantage of this excellent Arial photos op. This is about the only way to get an overall view on how immense this event really is. I would like to thank pilot Steph Gilbert of Helicopter Canada and his awesome crew Roman, Veronique, Andrea and Mike for giving me a bird’s eye view of the festivities’ in full swing. These guys were on hand providing helicopter rides all weekend long for those who wanted to feel what it’s like to fly or to get a great view of the town of Temiskaming Shores. Helicopter Canada is based out of North Bay which is really not that far as the crow flies from anywhere so if you want something extra at your next event, give them a

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call. They are particularly fond of motorcycle events as they consider themselves to be “Chopper Enthusiasts”! To see all the pics that were taken from the air, visit our gallery on our online website at www.theridersmag.com . Speaking of pictures, have you noticed that the driver of the monster truck General Hazard is a fan of the Rider’s Mag?! You can see him in the cab of his truck with his own copy of the Mag! How’s that for big wheels!? The most impressive part of the Reunion happens on the Sunday afternoon which too many people miss out on due to other responsibilities on the Monday morning. To ride through these small towns and communities and to see the thousands of people lined up on every street out there holding up signs with messages of thanks and cheers for all the bikers that came out to support such a fantastic event is heartwarming to say the least. People from newborn to late 80’s and 90’s show their gratitude as you ride by them. Never saw a ride with so much to offer and so many emotions as the Freedom Ride of the Biker’s Reunion. Gotta do it! Period. One area that is often overlooked is the accommodations required when one puts on an event of this magnitude that more than doubles the population of the surrounding towns plus the extra effort put in by those who are in the hospitality industry. It’s not easy to the point of being next to impossible aside from tenting along the road, to find any kind of accommodations for that particular weekend at the last minute or even a couple of months ahead of time. Most are booked over a year ahead of time just so they are guaranteed a spot for the next one as after people come out once, they keep coming back! With 6500 extra motorcycles and all the extra people, the small community of Temiskaming Shores more than doubles its population. So I would like to thank all of you that make us feel welcome and at home such as John and Rhonda from the Edgewater Motel, Cabins & Camping in Haileybury which have been my hosts for the past 6 years that I’ve been attending this event. They’ve always done an excellent job running on only a couple of hours sleep at night to make certain that all their guests are attended to and that nothing is overlooked. From freshly brewed coffee every morning at 6am to a waterfront campfire in the evening to warm you up only to finish with a hearty handshake and a hug upon your departure. They truly make you feel like family. The little resort just north of ordinary! If there’s one thing that should go on every biker’s bucket list is to attend at least one of the Bikers Reunions. It is a guarantee that you will meet up with old friends and of course make new ones! There are enough activities held at this rally that I could easily fill a full edition of the Rider’s Mag


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www.triplekupholstery.com just to cover them all. You’ll find lots of pictures in the gallery although you really must experience this exceptional event for yourself so mark your calendar for the long weekend of July 2016 and we’ll see you out here! Bull Powertrain Motorcycle Run 2015 I was fortunate to have been invited to the 2015, 4th Annual Bull Powertrain Motorcycle Run. This company puts on a fabulous ride for their customers and their employees and is by invitation only as a form of saying thanks for your patronage throughout the year.

This ride is the envy of many riders as this great company pulls out all stops to go as far as not only providing a free breakfast and a free lunch as well as paying all the gas you can burn during the 500kms scenic motorcycle run. They even had hats as well as patches available for participants of this run. Thanks go out to Frank Labelle (salesman at Bull Powertrain) for being the host with the most! The breakfast consisting of tasty breakfast sandwiches

complete with fresh fruits, coffee and juice to get us going on the right path to a mind-blowing scenic bike ride through the Muskokas all the way to The Grill at Kirrie Glen for an amazing BBQ again courtesy of Bull Powertrain. Our host Frank even serves up complimentary gas to his guest. Now I challenge you to show me another event like this with this much service and style! Actually, it would be great to see other corporate companies big and small to match or better this kind of event. I almost forgot, these guys had it all planned even down to the truck and trailer on standby for any mechanical failures that might of occurred. How’s that for service!! This is the first time that I have attended this great event and I’m very grateful to been able to participate. What an outing that was. It had been several years since my last

group ride as I find myself not having the patience required for “some” of the other riders that either can’t control their ride or can’t pay attention to what they’re doing. So instead of exposing myself to that, I rather just opt out of such rides. This particular ride was different right from the start. Just by looking at people leaving the parking lot, I was able to tell that this seasoned group of riders will make this day one to remember. 35 bikes and 50 people in total made this day one of the best rides I’ve been on. If I would have to describe this day in only a few words, it would have to be: Free Food!, Free Gas!, Free Fun! Thanks Frank and Bull Powertrain for a most spectacular day!! My final words for this month…..I asked God for a new bike but I know God doesn’t work that way so I stole a new bike and then asked for forgiveness!!!

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Flat

The AMA Grand National series for Flat Track just announced some major changes for 2016, one of them being the implementation of twins racing at every event. Just in case you’re unaware of what I’m referring to, it’s a twin cylinder engine in a modified frame, typically a 750cc engine, one commonly referred to as a Harley Davidson XR750 or Kawasaki’s EX650.

I admit, watching the guys wrestle around very large custom made motorcycles is very cool, however they are only raced on larger tracks such as half miles or miles because the new technology of the DTX (motocross style flat track racer) can be used on smaller tracks and TT’s. The DTX bike is known for being light, maneuverable and durable; therefore it has the ability to take tight turns four abreast on a short track or the capability to launch off of a 40 foot jump on the Peoria TT. I think the AMA (American Motorcyclist Association) made the decision based on listening to a pretty large percentage of their old school fan base, which often refers to the DTX bike as nothing more than a scooter. The trouble with this is that the average American flat track fan is above the age of a baby boomer and this decision of having twins at all the events isn’t going to help develop a new generation of flat track race fans. Manufacturers have a difficult time supporting the completely custom ‘framer twin motorcycles’ therefore making this decision could be a big step backwards. Most pro AMA flat track racers are privateers running very tight budgets to even make it to most race events that they can. Running and maintaining a GNC prepped race bike at every round with a drastic setup change will only burden the riders even further, for example even the most top riders in the country can’t even have bikes prepped in time for the next race regardless of their budget.

Tracking

by Aaron Hesmer

So the big question is how will it affect Canada and Flat Track Canada Series? Well, I think it’s better to see flat track as a whole making good decisions and moving forward, but in this case it may directly benefit the series by attracting racers that simply can’t afford a twin or continue to race it full time. However the path and identity of Canadian and American flat track racing may drift apart a little bit which isn’t always good for the future. If you would like to see Flat Track racing live, your next chance is August 1st for the Woodstock Half-Mile right in the heart of Woodstock. See you at the races! Aaron Pictures by Karolina Pelc Photography

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Ladies and their Harleys

This month’s feature lady is Dawn, she comes from a riding family and her older sister Pauline was our lady last month. It’s kind of ironic the way things work out, Dawn despite her many miles has only been riding a few years and this is her first Harley but it was her that took the initiative and tried to get the “Twisted Sisters” into the mag. Having spoken to Pauline a few months back it was clear that she was not fully prepared for this and thought that it was another of her little sisters crazy ideas, well it was a good one I think. Dad was a rider, the two older boys were both riders and Pauline got riding so Dawn was not really holding up her end of the family deal by not riding, but in her defense she had married young had a couple kids got the inevitable divorce and says she was an empty nester at a young age. She tried to focus on work but says she spent a few years feeling sorry

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for herself. Well as we know from last month’s piece Pauline was inspirational not only to many of her friends but also to her sister saying once she rode she felt she could do anything and returned to school to become a denturist, well Dawn was inspired to get out of the on the road sales life that she had been living and become a service writer and fleet specialist and then became a motorcycle rider. She picked up a really old rice burner because someone she knew owed her some money and gave her the bike, she had gotten her riders beginners license and called her old school sister to go for a ride. They met half way between here and there which they say was Burlington. Pauline says hey Dawn you wanna ride to Dover? Sure Dawn says, never


having ridden on a road over 60 km/hr and having a learners permit for a week and less than an hour’s experience. Dawn says they rode hard to Dover and when she arrived she realized that she was outside of her comfort zone and asked Pauline if they could head back cause this was her first big trip and she was a little bit nervous about the ride back. Of course they headed back via Brantford and made a stop at the casino to do a little gambling, Dawn says she wore protective gear all day long but removed it before entering the casino and she never put it back on when leaving. Around the corner from the casino she encountered a set of train tracks at low speed and lost control of the bike and says all that was going through her mind was what does the handbook say to do when you encounter this situation? Well fortunately for Dawn, her family and us despite not having the leathers on she survived a serious crash on her first big ride with a scrapped knee and some pretty nasty cuts on her face. A couple of guys the girls knew rode by at this time and Pauline flagged them down saying you gotta help us I think I’ve killed Dawn. So when Dawn saw the friendly face she

says she started to cry, but they got her back on her bike and riding again and has more confidence than ever and the following week she went to the course at Sheridan College and got her riders permit or at least the next stage I suppose. Once Dawn was all set with her license Pauline helped her find a good used bike cheap and Dawn says that she rode it everywhere saying it felt so good to be out there and to finally be able to say to her siblings yup I have a license and I am riding too, sweet. She found herself some riding chums in the Oakville Mississauga area where she lives and started heading out to some events with her girl riding buddies and she says that on one particular day she was riding out to a Lupus Ride in the Guelph area with her girlfriends. It was her first time riding on a highway and she says that she wanted to look sharp and was wearing a purple bandana that matched her bike and over that a full face helmet. Well around highway 25 in Milton she says the bandana slipped down over her eyes while on highway 401 and she could not longer see the road she was riding at 100 km/hr. Dawn had the presence of mind to pull the helmet up while throttling down and pulling the bandana off her eyes and getting stopped on the shoulder. To this day she is not sure exactly what saved her from crashing her bike but she says that she stuffed that bandana into her shirt and resuming riding to the event. It was on this day at this event that Dawn met

her second husband Paul who rode over with her for the shoot. When they met Dawn had sold her bike that Pauline helped her find and had bought a big metric bike, Paul says that he tried to talk her out of buying the bike but she was determined that she was gonna ride and she was gonna have the bike, he wanted her to be patient and buy a Harley and they went to some demo rides to see what she liked and could ride. She had a bit of a mental problem with the bigger FLH style deckers dismissing them as too big wanting something more like a softail. She ended up buying this beautiful Street Glide at Rocky’s in London. She had been heading out to look at a 2010 that Paul had found on line and when they arrived he spotted this bike and after some encouragement she rode the bike loved it despite her dismissivness and has been making it her own ever since. She owned that metric bike less than 3 months and really took a beating on it when she traded it in on this nearly new exec/demo. She bought that bike in late 2013, managed some 25000 kms on it last summer, the happy couple had planned to marry this past June in Sturgis but the passing of Dawns oldest brother postponed that trip so they say they eloped to Niagara Falls and got married in June and they are making that memorial ride later this summer to Mount Washington in New Hampshire to spread her brothers ashes. She says they plan to make that trip to Sturgis next year just to ride since they are already married.

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AND 5. I haven’t verified this on Snopes, but it sounds legit... A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. I am not too old, I think! I was working out at the gym when I spotted a sweet young thing walking in ... I asked the trainer standing next to me, “What machine should I use to impress that lady over there?” The trainer looked me over and said: “I would recommend the ATM in the lobby.” hold onto this hat.” “But madam, you must know that you are not wearing any panties and your privates are exposed!” said the gentleman in earnest. The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, “Sir, anything you see down there is 75 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!”

1. We all love to spend money buying new clothes but the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes. 2. Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks PRICELESS. 3. Breaking News: Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman’s husband. 4. Arguing over a girl’s bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Carlsberg, & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.

A Newfie was stopped by a game warden recently with two ice chests full of live fish. He was leavin’ a cove well-known for its fishing. The game warden stopped him asked the man, ‘Do you have a license to catch those fish?’ ‘Naw, sir’, replied the Newfie. ‘I ain’t got none of dem licenses. I don’t need one. You must understand, b’y, dese fish is my pet fish.’ ‘Pet fish? Says the warden.’ ‘Yeah. Dat’s de trut’ b’y. Every night, I takes dese fish down to de cove and lets ‘em swim ‘round for awhile. Den, when I whistles, dey jumps right back into dese ice chests and I takes ‘em ‘ome.’ ‘That’s a bunch of hooey! Fish can’t do that.’ The Newfie looked at the warden for a moment and then said, ‘It’s de trut Mr. Government Man. I’ll show ya. It really works.’ ‘O.K.’, said the warden. ‘I’ve got to see this!’ The Newfie stood on a rock and poured the fish into the cove. Then he stood and looked out to sea. After several minutes, the warden says, ‘Well?’ ‘Well, what?’, says the Newf. The warden says, ‘When are you going to call them back? ‘Call who back?’ ‘The FISH’, replied the warden! ‘What fish?’, replied the Newfie. Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers on de mainland but by the lard tundering jaysus we ain’t as dumb as some Government employees. A guy was looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library. He asked a girl “Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl replied in a loud voice: “ NO I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU All the people in the library started staring at the guy, he was deeply embarrassed and moved to another table. After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and said with a laugh “I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking: I guess you felt embarrassed, right?” The guy then responded in a very loud voice: “$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? ...... THAT’S TOO MUCH!” All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock. The guy whispered to her: “I study law, and I know how to screw people”.

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