The Printed Blog Vol2-Showcase

VOL. 2 SHOWCASE ISSUE $3.00

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Views expressed within The Printed Blog do not Necessarily reflect the views of the publisher or The Printed Blog Inc. www.theprintedblog.com

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inside cover

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www.theprintedblog.com | (312) 305-1000 | info@theprintedblog.com | all content used with permission from content owner

photography

photography

the inside cover

By Joshua Karp | 11/15/10 | The Printed Blog

http://bit.ly/theprintedblog

This week’s featured photographer is Alex Straulino. Tyler Shields, our Photography Editor decided that Alex would have the cover and we should include another, full-page image as well.

We actually wanted to run the image on the left as the cover, but were ultimately concerned with people’s perception as we hand these issues out on the street. If you get a chance, Straulino’s web site is worth a visit… drop him a line and mention The Printed Blog. featured photographer

straulino Straulino’s pictures are unlike any seen before – as far as style and attention to detail is concerned. With his eagerness to experiment and his courage to try new things, he partially alienates pictures so that they almost have an abstract effect.

The models become sculptures – richly colored, dazzling and exotic. A whiff of eroticism touches consciousness and subconsciousness at the same time. In this way, Straulino answers the question, “what is beautiful on a human being?”

His editorial clients include: Another Magazine, Allure, Tatler, Harpers Bazaar, Harpers Bazaar US, German Vogue, Russian Vogue, Spanish Vogue, Traffic, Le Monde 2, Thierry Mugler.

Straulino is based in Berlin. www.straulino.com lifestyle

Dear Lady at Table 32, I’m Sick

By The Bitchy Waiter | 10/17/10 | The Bitchy Waiter

http://bit.ly/dkQygb

Here is a brief list of all things I wanted to say to Table 32 a few days ago: • • • • • • • • •

• • • • •

• • • • • • • • •

Do you really need to be reseated that many times in order to find the perfect seat?

It’s tacky to tip the host and then still complain about where you’re sat.

The drink has Blue Curacao in it, so yes it is actually going to be blue.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey asked me to tell you to give them their accent back.

That blouse looks like it came from the $5 and under bin at Chico’s.

Black is not slimming.

You have on way too many sequins. The only person wearing that many sequins should be on an episode of “Toddlers and Tiaras” or be named Liza Minnelli.

You don’t need to call me over to hand me an empty glass. I will get it when I have a free hand.

I see that your reservation was for two but you are alone now. You don’t have to tell me that you decided to take yourself out tonight. It’s obvious that your husband bailed on you and is at home relishing the two hours of solitude and trying to recall what it’s like to not have his ears bleed from the sound of your voice.

Your hair is scaring me. And scarring me. For life. Frosted is not pretty.

You don’t need to call me over to hand me another empty glass. I will get it when I have a free hand.

Do you really need more napkins or are you just trying to think of something to ask for every time I walk by you?

Seriously bitch, stop calling me over to take empty shit from your fucking table.

Using the phrase “it’s a delight” does not make you sophisticated. It makes me think you heard it on that episode of “The Three Stooges” when they were plumbers at that fancy party and that one snobby rich lady said it.

Using the phrase “it’s a delight” more than six or seven times makes me think you are supremely dumb and a trifle desperate.

Yes, I can get you an order of hummus and chips.

Yes, I can get you more chips.

I see you waving me down again. Let me guess. Your plate is empty and you want me to take it. Stop it.

The people next to you are sick of hearing you talk. They don’t know you and don’t want to be your friend.

Yes, I will get your check for you. You don’t have to ask me for that. It’s on my list of things to give to you along with a dirty look and a fist up your puss.

Yes, we take American Express. Your American Express card does not impress me. It’s a green one.

You looked stupid when you took a picture of the performer after her show and told her she was “a delight.” Enough with that phrase already.

I hate you. You annoy me. Don’t come back.

Things I actually said to Table 32 a few days ago: • • •

Can I take your order?

Yes, ma’am.

Good bye.

photography

Tyler Shields | http://bit.ly/tylershields

I’m lucky I still have a vagina

By Vagina Drum | 4/2/010 | Vagina Drum

http://bit.ly/aYpm2G

I waxed my vagina. At home. On a towel. In a room with one 60 watt light bulb. The scene was just one step up from what would typically be provided for a dog before giving birth. About the same amount of blood though.

I’ve had an issue with body hair since I was about nine years old. That’s when I let my own paranoia falsely convince me that other girls my age were shaving their legs, so I should too. For weeks I went to school with noticeable cuts around my ankles and in the government subsidized light of my classroom, noticed that without their dusting of blonde hair, my legs looked a lot like discounted lunch meat. From there I moved on to my arms, 60% of my eyebrows and, soon after learning about nocturnal emissions and birthing hips, my pubic area. My endeavor to turn myself into the surface of a bowling ball came with very little conscious effort. Most of it was simply motivated by the need to be consistent.

However, my pubic hair was an entirely different beast. I vacillated between a bush so voluminous it was noticeable through jeans and Barbie crotch. I could get away with it because, other than my tracings of rare dog breeds, no one ever saw me naked. Still, I preferred to be completely bare. Years of trial and error informed me that orgasms were easier to come by when I actually had direct access to myself and not something akin to a squirrel pelt. But since I had no real reason to be fastidious about maintaining a vagina suitable for moonwalking, I slid back into indifference.

Then I discovered oral sex and the details are hazy from there. But from that moment, I became nearly obsessed with what I could do to make my vagina more welcoming for someone’s face. I knew that my pubic hair could grow to almost inhumane lengths and I never wanted to go back, fearing that both the frequency and sensation would wane. Luckily, not even my ham-fisted attempts at shaving around my ski slopes could dissuade the shared inexperience and desperation of 17-year-olds.

Eventually I found myself in a relationship where cunnilingus was nearly a daily activity and not just something that was done when his parents left to go grocery shopping. I soon realized that my razor could no longer keep up.

Which is why, when my boyfriend suggested that I wax my vagina, I agreed. He even said he’d do it for me, all I needed to do was order the wax. The first sign that I was absolutely fucked came when he decided to slather wax on my cunt like he was buttering toast, instead of applying it in strips. By the time I looked down, the wax had already hardened and I was left there wondering why I let him do this to me, considering that I still have to find socks for him in the morning. I started panicking because I knew that, outside of melting the wax off with an iron pressed against my labia, I was now committed to having my pubes torn out en masse. Aside from being unable to find even one sock out of a collection of 50, he also lacks manual dexterity. I learned this when it took three or four pulls to successfully emancipate each portion of flesh from the wax puddle he created. The pain was immense, but I couldn’t really be too angry because I probably would’ve stripped myself of the ability to urinate if I tried to do it myself.

After each abortive yank, I had to ask him to stop so I could drain the tension out of my muscles. I also needed to make sure I still had a clitoris. During this time he would apply ice to the area that now had its own heartbeat and remind me that I could hold on to him to help with the pain. If I hadn’t been busy wiping the torture-induced tears from the side of my face, I would’ve asked him if he also goes to the Burn Ward to offer patients advice on how to crate train a new puppy. Because unless he was going to spontaneously secrete morphine, that offer was useless to me.

Somehow, after many suggestions that I pet my freshly removed hair because, ‘it feels like a cat nose,’ I got through it. I couldn’t argue with the results. My vagina felt like a handful of baby powder, but it would’ve had to start whistling The Best of Bobby McFerrin for me to consider it a winning value proposition.

I resented my boyfriend for a few days after that. I took most of it out on his face, seeking solace in the fact that he could hardly breathe. Yeah, it’s a weak victory — I go through a medieval level of pain, he gets to eat pussy. But just give me a few months, when I welcome back the Barbara Bush. And force him to formally address her. And remove her smart little skirt suit with his teeth. photography

Tyler Shields | http://bit.ly/tylershields

subscribe today to the printed blog. receive an issue like this delivered to your house each week. www.theprintedblog.com

Sarah Small | http://bit.ly/aRLnDt

the most interesting magazine you’ll ever subscribe to

Views expressed within The Printed Blog do not Necessarily reflect the views of the publisher or The Printed Blog Inc. www.theprintedblog.com

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photography

interview

Alessandra Torresani

By Matt Dallas Matt: We both have shot with Tyler and we have both gotten pretty crazy. So, what has been one of your most memorable, favorite shots?

Alessandra: There are too many to pick from! Hmm… if I have to choose one, I must choose the most dramatic and ground-breaking shot I have done so far. It’s all about “The Mask” shot! Tyler comes over, throws a mask in my face and says “get naked now!” From then on my love has grown and the shoots even crazier!

Matt dallas Matt Dallas made an enormous splash on the scene with his fascinating turn as the titular character on the ABC Family series, Kyle XY. Since, he has become one of Hollywood’s most sought after young actors. Dallas was born in Phoenix, Arizona and briefly attended the Arizona School for the Arts. He became interested in acting at the age of 12, when his grandmother took him to a play of The Ugly Duckling.

Up next for Matt is Ty Hodges’ You Me and The Circus. A unique talent, and someone for us all to keep a watchful eye on, we are thrilled to have Matt as a contributor.

Alessandra Torresani Alessandra Torresani has a face that’s impossible to forget. A breakout hit in Syfy’s Caprica, Torresani has become a legitimate star. Born in Palo Alto, California, Alessandra is the daughter of Italian immigrants. Before becoming an actress she studied dancing and singing from the age of two. At the age of 8, she landed a job doing interviews between cartoons on the WB network.

She also has a black belt in Taekwondo. We are beyond thrilled to have her involved in this publication.

Matt: That is definitely one of my favorites that you’ve done with Tyler. Now, what is one of your favorites that you are not in?

Alessandra: I would love to do a shoot with Allison Brie! Her video shoot where she is seductive is so steamy HOT! Matt: You just got back from Comic.Con. It is one of my favorite events ever. How was your experience?

Alessandra: I have never had so much fun at a press event. I love my fans more than anything and it was the perfect place to get one on one experiences with all my little cylons.

Matt: Speaking of Caprica, how’s that going?

Alessandra: Jason 1.5 starts airing in January 2011. I’m beyond excited for everyone to see me kick some ass!

Fingers crossed we go second season!

Matt: My fingers are crossed. The show is awesome and you are great on it. You guys shoot in Vancouver where we shot Kyle. I love it there, the rain gets a little crazy, but it’s a beautiful city. Do you like shooting there?

Alessandra: I love Vancouver because we are away from all the madness in LA. We can all be just be huge family and work 24/7! Plus it is gorgeous!

Matt: What else do you do besides act?

Alessandra: I am a professionally trained dancer so whenever I am not doing any crazy photo shoots, playing a cylon and destroying the world, you can find me dancing in a studio!

Straulino | http://bit.ly/9oyvZN photography

Matt: That’s awesome. What kind of dance?

Alessandra: Well, Matty, I can do it all! I love jazz and tap. And I do love booty bouncing, but that is just some freestylin’ !

Matt: We should have a dance off! I know a bit from my theater days. Alright, you are a big Twitter person and I am about to finally join the Twitter world. What advice can you give a virgin Twitter-er?

Alessandra: I love Virgins! Just have fun because your Twitter fans just want to hear about YOU and your fun life. Don’t be cheesy, just be you. And send a lot of pics. Naughty ones please!

Matt: And… who are you dating right now?

Alessandra: I am currently single. I am super busy working on the press for Caprica! I would love a silly nerd boy. Kinda like my all time favorite Jason Segel.

Matt: OK, for the last question I feel we should get a little crazy given that this is an interview for Tyler. A lot of Tyler’s shoots reflect people’s fantasies. Share a crazy fantasy of yours that could end up a Tyler Shields photo shoot.

Alessandra: I want to be dressed up as a Gothic little anime doll that comes to life and kills all of her ex boyfriends! Too graphic?!? Never too dirty and raw for me and Tyler! Let the debauchery begin! photography

Tyler Shields | http://bit.ly/tylershields

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www.theprintedblog.com | (312) 305-1000 | info@theprintedblog.com | all content used with permission from content owner

Straulino | http://bit.ly/9oyvZN

photography

Brian Khulmann | http://bit.ly/dA5AG5 lifestyle graph factory: Why I Haven’t Been Sleeping: Milwaukee Avenue Edition Terra Dankowski | http://bit.ly/b2cImT

The Childish Endeavors of Emily Sue

poetry

Little Emily Sue was only but two, when off with her finger she decided to do.

It hung from her hand, vein and tendon unleashed, after cauterizing the wound, the bleeding it ceased.

She looked at her palm happy pinky was gone, with the pain dying out it was time to move on.

She sharpened her knife with childish glee, after placing pinky on mantle for all to see.

Emily Sue with crayon and paper in hand, sat down by candlelight and mapped out her plan.

With ease and great pleasure and taking good measure, she walked up to her mother and eyed her next treasure.

The innocent child handed over her art, it went up on the fridge, the parenting part.

“Can I help you with baking,” she asked of her mother, “I’ll be quick with my hands and won’t be a bother.”

Emily watched as her mom chopped an apple, she giggled and laughed at the thought of the grapple.

She took a small knife and slid from the counter, and down with her fell her mothers right pointer.

Her mother stood shocked and let out a scream, with red leaking out and polluting whipped cream.

Emily looked pleased and grabbed at the finger, off to the mantle with treasure don’t linger.

A devious smile spread from right to left ear, as she went to the shed before father could hear.

Her father he worked alone in their shack, tinkering at cars to get his youth back.

She slid up to poppa and said with a grin, “Daddy may I watch, you won’t hear a pin?”

Her father agreed and grabbed at a wrench, she looked at his hand and hopped on the bench.

He tightened a nut and worked at a screw, the timing was right and Emily knew.

He reached for his cup for a sip of his drink, and lost his ring finger before he could think.

By Ari Costa | 10/25/10 | I Rant So Far Away

He let out a yip and she ran from the scene, back to the mantle she had cut it off clean.

Her mother and father so tense with fear, shouted for Emily “Where the hell are you my dear?”

They stumbled about mad, like lumbering giants, rags covering their wounds inflicted by the defiant.

Emily Sue went and hid with the job almost done, not realizing the trouble, only reveling in fun.

She crept up the stairs as shouts echoed below, tiptoed to her brothers room and up to young Joe. She looked at his face peaceful and small, then down at his fingers she wanted them all.

That isn’t the plan, now lets not be greedy, only take the one, save the rest for the needy.

She slid out her knife and hummed a light tune, sharp blade through his finger and out of the room.

The blood it did spurt but only for a minute. his little body was tough and able to fend it.

She held his middle finger and skipped down the stairs, right into open arms and her wildest fears.

Her mother and father with knife in hand, held her down hard and took a stand.

With a dull pocketknife they stabbed at their daughter, not realizing how or what this taught her.

When she awoke on a red mound of carpet, she felt a great pain and started to vomit.

She looked at her palms and saw they were round, her fingers were amputated, the stubs whittled down.

bit.ly/9bn9FC

She looked at the mantle and started to smile, there sat 13 jars, they’d been there a while.

She examined them closely and hummed a light song all their fingers there floating, her plan hadn’t gone wrong.

photography

She went into the kitchen and sat down to dinner, her family welcomed her in with smiles and vigor.

She looked at their wounds and looked at their faces, no hard feelings revealed from the day; no traces.

She looked to the fridge and at the scribbles of crayon, she had etched all the fingers, this had always been her plan.

As she got older she never missed these thirteen, for they were on the mantle and always meant to be seen.

photography

Stephanie Bassos | http://bit.ly/agL3ID

if you love amazing photography, subscribe to the printed blog today. www.theprintedblog.com

Elinor Carucci | http://bit.ly/cMLH6W

Views expressed within The Printed Blog do not Necessarily reflect the views of the publisher or The Printed Blog Inc. www.theprintedblog.com

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music

Phil Spector at the Magic Castle The Key To On The Rox

Joan Jett Flips Me The Finger featured photographer

brad elterman Brad Elterman’s career started with a borrowed camera at the age of 16. His first photo, of Bob Dylan performing on stage, was published in 1974. That lead to endless nights of covering the rock scene in Hollywood encompassing pop, punk and rock bands including the Faces with Rod Stewart, David Bowie, the Sex Pistols, the Runaways, Kiss, Queen, Blondie, the Ramones, the Bay City Rollers, Abba, Boney M, Kenny Rogers, The Who, Leif Garrett, Michael Jackson, etc. “It was my education in life,” says Brad, who left school to travel with bands and visit European magazine editors at the age of 19. “I had a front row seat in life which took me everywhere from Munich to Tokyo to Rio.” Brad toured Japan with teen idol Leif Garret, traveled to South America with German pop stars Boney M, and did tour dates with The Eagles and Rod Stewart, just to name a few.

Brad Elterman has published a new volume featuring fifty-five black & white and color versions of his iconic images called Like It Was Yesterday. Elterman had the incredible good fortune of arriving on the pop culture scene in 1974 as a teenager with a camera around his neck. He captured hundreds of legendary images of the kind most photographers can only dream. Like It Was Yesterday curates shockingly candid, under-produced portraits of larger-than-life personalities like Michael Jackson, Madonna, Frank Sinatra, Joan Jett, Phil Spector, Joey Ramone and Muhammad Ali into a seventy-two page work of art.

All The Right Ingredients For A Sellable Photograph!

Elterman was an early trendsetter on the scene, and his raw photographic style is all the rage today. After a two-decade break, the tanned, big-haired adonis of the seventies is back shooting photos of today’s pop culture. Film camera in hand, he is immortalizing a new generation of stars, freezing their essence in time the same way he does within the pages of Like It Was Yesterday.

A run of 500 limited edition, signed copies of Like It Was Yesterday releases December 2, 2010. Seventytwo pages, fifty-five photographs, $100. Designed by Garland Lyn. Published by Seventy Seven Press, LLC. Printed by Toppan of Japan.

Book signing from 6-8 PM on December 2, 2010 at LEADAPRON (8445 Melrose Place, Los Angeles, CA 90069 – 323.782.1888). http://www.bradelterman.com

Frank Sinatra Meets The Press

Brad Elterman is represented by Factory311 www.factory311.com

Madonna Meets The Press

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www.theprintedblog.com | (312) 305-1000 | info@theprintedblog.com | all content used with permission from content owner

music

photography

Photography of BRad Elterman

By Brad Elterman | 10/26/10 | www.bradelterman.com

http://bit.ly/dcFyAe

Phil Spector at the Magic Castle 1976: Phil Spector was known as a recluse. He rarely allowed his photo to be taken and his bodyguards routinely requested photographers turn film over to him. He lived in a big mansion, formerly owned by horror film star, Vincent Price. To catch him out and about was a rare find, and there was always incredible interest in the eccentric recluse. I got invited to this press conference in the Hollywood hillside Magic Castle and Phil arrived with his entourage. The rest is history.

All The Right Ingredients For A Sellable Photograph! 1979: We were all horrified when thirteen-year old model/actress Brooke Shields stuck out her rather large tongue at the photographers at this Blondie party held at Fiorucci in Beverly Hills. This is exactly what the magazine editors wanted: an animated photo of a famous rock star and an international celebrity.

The photo was published dozens of times all around the world; and of course, the Japanese went nuts over it. I see Gene at my local deli from time to time.

Frank Sinatra Meets The Press 1980: Frank Sinatra detested the press! He hated reporters and he rarely posed for a photo unless it was a charity. He was entitled to be testy. He was Frank Sinatra and a legend. Celebrities like Frank, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis do not exist today. It is not easy to find a real icon to photograph. I saw Frank around town at parties and restaurants only a couple of times, always surrounded by rather large bodyguards. I never had the guts to snap a photo. His bodyguards were the big guys and it was not worth messing with them to get a photo.

I had heard a rumor there was a press conference for Frank at the Beverly Hills Hotel. I think I just showed up without an invite. Back then, if you had heard about an event and showed up, it was usually no problem. I arrived early, got a free breakfast of lovely little sausage links, croissants and freshly squeezed OJ. After my feast, I sat in the second row to get this totally amazing photograph.

You know how many photographers were there? About six. Incredible. In today’s hunger for online news and celebrity imagery, there would have been a feeding frenzy of media. At this press conference, I think there was only one TV crew from one of the local stations. Frank kept the press conference very brief. He left alone, except for the driver of a rather unflashy station wagon. After the press conference, I just kind of sat there rather stunned thinking, “Wow, I just photographed Frank Sinatra!”

Michael Jackson At Chasen’s

The Key To On The Rox 1976: I lived righted down the street from On The Rox which was the most exclusive private nightclub in Los Angeles back when this photograph was taken. It was owned by Lou Adler and Elmer Valentine. The entrance to the club was an unmarked door at The Roxy Theatre on the Sunset Strip and it was exclusively for the in-crowd to get into the place. However, there were some exceptions for its entrance: if you were a major celebrity or had incredible connections. In this case, you would be placed on the guest list. When you showed up, you would be reduced to having to speak into the intercom to plead your case. However, if you were a real heavy, you had a key to the front door.

My good friend Michelle Meyer worked the guest list for the club and she called me with a tip-off that Ringo was on the guest list for the Bob Marley And The Wailers showcase that evening at The Roxy. I remember it like yesterday when the call came down, “Brad Elterman! Ringo Starr is on the guest list for the Bob Marley dog dance this evening! Be there or be square!”

As you can see in this rare photograph, Ringo did show up and he brought some friends, John Lennon and Yoko.

Turns out that Ringo had that legendary key and here is the proof! What I like best about this photograph is the expressions of the two dudes. They cannot believe their eyes, right in front of them is half of The Beatles.

Joan Jett Flips Me The Finger 1977: Joan Jett is not pissed off at me. She is just being Joan!

We were all hanging around backstage waiting for Joan and the rest of The Runaways to take the stage. In a thousand years when a historian finds this photo they will be able to pinpoint the exact location by looking at the hieroglyphics on the wall of The Whiskey.

Madonna Meets The Press 1982: I was hired by Dick Clark’s press agent to cover the American Music Awards nearly every year for a decade. I had incredible access and I wanted to make a great photograph of this new singer called Madonna. All of the photographers were crowded into an area that I would always refer to as the “bull pen.” In such a small space there is little potential to make a creative photograph. Since I had all access, I worked for this photo. I yelled out her name and caught her eye. I remember the displeasure of the publicist when the photo came out. Not because I did not make an interesting photograph but because you could not see the AMA logo in the background!

Michael Jackson At Chasen’s 1978: Yes, believe it or not, this is a young and handsome Michael Jackson. I met him and then over the years, I photographed him at a bunch of parties and concerts. This photo was taken on the sidewalk at the old Chasen’s Restaurant at the corner of Doheny Road and Beverly Blvd (where Bristol Farms market sits today). Chasen’s had the best chili and fried chicken. This particular party was for the Grammy’s. The photos inside were boring and too posed. Michael wanted a break from the crowd of backslappers and stepped outside for some fresh air. I was right behind him. What I like about this photograph is the stain on the sidewalk. It is interesting that I had full access to Michael at this party and the most memorable photograph was taken in the street!

The Day I Shook The Hand Of Bob Dylan 1976: In every photographer’s career there will always be a photograph that will change your career and possibly your life too. This was the case when I got to meet and photograph Bob Dylan in the dressing room of The Roxy Theatre in 1976.

RoneeBlakley was performing a showcase at The Roxy Theatre on the Sunset Strip. She knew that I adored Dylan and made sure that I was on the guest list. It was not a tip-off but a Come and Enjoy the Show invite. Guess who shows up and takes a seat in the VIP section?

After the set, Dylan was escorted backstage and I was right behind him. Ronnee made the legendary introduction. Bob was incredibly friendly, remarking that I looked a bit like him! He even gave me a really limp handshake that was not all that impressive; but hey, it was Dylan!

Ronee grabbed him and we did this amazing set of photographs. I was in heaven. Bob set up another group shot of him with a new actor named Robert De Niro and a host of other friends that included musician David Blue, actress/singer Lanie Kazan, actresses Martine Getty and Sally Kirkland. I did not have a clue who any of these folks were, but I just shot away! photography agency collaborator

factory311

The Day I Shook The Hand Of Bob Dylan

By Joshua Karp | 11/1/10 | The Printed Blog http://bit.ly/theprintedblog We continuously work to identify the very best content on the web. To that end, in this Showcase Issue, we have entered into a collaborative arrangement with a UK-based photographer management company, FACTORY311. They have submitted photography from a number of their world-class artists, and we are pleased to include some of these images in both this issue, and our forthcoming Fashion Issue.

FACTORY311 is a photography and illustration agency specializing in high end fashion and beauty. The agency boasts an extensive archive of images available for licensing and syndication.

By representing only a select group of highly regarded photographers and illustrators, FACTORY311 can maintain the highest of standards, offering an individual and innovative approach for creative industries worldwide.

support our collaborators and visit factory311’s web site today. www.factory311.com Views expressed within The Printed Blog do not Necessarily reflect the views of the publisher or The Printed Blog Inc. www.theprintedblog.com

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photography

Chris Buck | http://bit.ly/cDso7m

Chris Buck | http://bit.ly/cDso7m

the printed blog

thoughts on the printed blog and the future of print

By Joshua Karp | 11/18/10 | The Printed Blog

http://bit.ly/theprintedblog

I’m Josh, and I publish The Printed Blog.

The Printed Blog is a publishing experiment. It’s the only subscription–based, weekly, print magazine, comprised entirely of blogs and other online content.

Bloggers create great content. Not every blogger, but a whole lot of them. There’s more wonderful content, created by people worth knowing, than you could read in a lifetime.

It doesn’t matter if you write for The New York Times and you get 1,000,000 hits a week, or if you live in your parent’s basement and get 10 hits a month — if you have something to say we’ll publish it — in print. The Printed Blog is a level playing field.

Too much of the world is created for the lowest common denominator, and frankly, I’m tired of homogenized, dumbed down content, that I’m expected to enjoy because it was written to appeal to the masses.

The Printed Blog is NOT for the lowest common denominator. If you’re not impacted by our content — by a blog post or photograph — then we haven’t done our jobs. If we don’t lose a few subscribers each time we release an issue, it means that we were gutless and lazy.

Bloggers and photographers create work that has value, they deserve to be paid, and we should pay them. That’s why we charge a subscription, and why we pay everyone who is published a percentage of that money, big blogger, or small.

And yes, you can find everything in The Printed Blog somewhere online, but so what — that’s not the point.

The point is, editors pick stories worth reading and photography worth viewing, and we present it in a beautiful print package.

That’s what you’re paying for. For the two or three or four hours of quiet enjoyment with a print magazine, that will surprise you, or delight you, or scare you, or excite you with every article, and every photograph.

It takes a certain kind of arrogance to say that, “print is dead,” or to think that someone needs to “save” print.

Sitting down at a sun drenched dining room table with the massive printed Sunday New York Times is a privilege. The tangible act of opening the pages, straightening the creases, dirtying your hands — it connects you to history, to a time where the quiet, sincere contemplation of the world around you bettered your life.

The Sunday New York Times isn’t fast. It’s slow — it takes time, it’s deliberate, it has meaning, it’s romantic, it has tradition. The notion that we need to “save” this part of our culture is ridiculous… perhaps, however, for a moment, we need to shout above the din of innovation, and remind people that there are still things that are important.

Print and the web are not mutually exclusive — they’re just different. Not everything is better, just because it’s online.

Sometimes, I just don’t want to look at a screen, fumble with searches and links and load times and popups; I just want it in front of me.

Sometimes, it’s just nice to read something in print form.

I want Gawker in print. I want The Huffington Post, in print, and The Daily Beast. I want TechCrunch and Mashable. I want BastardLife, The Bloggess, and The Bitchy Waiter. I don’t care about your iPad app, I want Wired, in print, too, because not all coffee shops believe that wireless connectivity improves the taste of their coffee.

I worked to make The Printed Blog into what I wanted, and into what I couldn’t find anywhere else — the very best of the web, picked by editors I know and love, combined with amazing photography that I cannot see anywhere else, and presented in a beautiful print package, each week.

This is The Printed Blog.

We’re on the web at www.theprintedblog.com, find us on Facebook at facebook.com/ theprintedblog and on Twitter at twitter.com/theprintedblog.

Thank you.

If you have a blog, submit it to bloggers@theprintedblog.com, if you are a photographer, submit some images to photos@ theprintedblog.com, and we’ll consider you for publication.

8

Chris Buck | http://bit.ly/cDso7m featured photographer

Chris BUck Chris Buck likes taking pictures, he has been doing so professionally for 22 years. He hails from Toronto, Canada and he’s now based in New York and Los Angeles.

His clients include Diesel, Xerox, Microsoft, GQ, Esquire, and New York Magazine. In 2007 he was the first recipient of the Arnold Newman Portrait Prize.

Chris’s other interests include making cocktails, drinking same cocktails, researching Richard Nixon, street hockey, and admiring his cats. But his favorite activity is traveling to Portuguese speaking countries with his wife Michelle Golden.

They have an eight–month–old daughter.

He has been called “damaged,” and separately “clever,” but Donald Trump put it best when he said to Chris “Make this quick, I have many important people waiting for me.” http://chrisbuck.com photography editor

stephanie bassos Stephanie Bassos a Chicago-based photographer, specializes in portraiture, abandonment, and color. In addition to her fine art work, she has photographed bands such as Maps & Atlases, Matthew Santos, and, most recently, the cover for Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s new album, Buzzard.

“The Printed Blog is an internationally recognized print publication that publishes photography from the best practicing photographers in the world. Not only does Stephanie have an eye for the individual image, but she understands how imagery works together to evoke emotion and to communicate a story.” — Joshua Karp, Publisher “Stephanie has done an amazing job pulling together images for The Printed Blog. She has a great sense for photography.” — Tyler Shields, Photography Editor http://www.stephaniebassos.com

www.theprintedblog.com | (312) 305-1000 | info@theprintedblog.com | all content used with permission from content owner

lifestyle

Wait

By Eleni Zoe | 6/9/10 | Hope Dies Last

http://bit.ly/cDhMyT

It is July and I’m nervous.

I’m waiting for him to kiss me. I’ve read his palm. I’ve already traced my finger down his life line and accidentally felt his pulse. We both know it is going to happen because for the last two hours, all we can see are lips. He takes a sip of beer and puts down his glass. I pick it up and imitate him. The beer is cold and bitter but as I swallow I bite my bottom lip and it goes down sweet. He moves next to me. Kiss me, I think and he does.

I finally exhale and blow a stifled breath into him. When our eyes open, I expect to see my own relief reflected back at me. Instead I see hunger.

It surprises me. Wait, I’m not there yet. He leans in again and kisses me again and this time his hands are touching my body in places we don’t talk about with the lights on. Wait, I’m not there yet. I put my hands into his; here touch these instead.

‘Why are you being so coy?’ he growls.

I fall back, away from him. His words don’t scare me. It’s his eyes. They’ve fogged up; he’s not looking at me clearly. I’m disappointed. Wait. I don’t want this tonight.

‘Your body seems to want it’, he says as he kisses me again. My eyes stay closed but my legs open.

No, no, no. I scream to myself. Don’t want me for this. I want you to wait. It feels like a split second decision but it takes twenty minutes. I’m there, lying on the floor, but I’m not in my body. I don’t have to force myself to kiss him, because all I want is a kiss, but my hands are not my hands. They’re touching, grabbing, unbuttoning, pushing, pulling. Is this what you want? I challenge.

‘Let’s go upstairs’, he says.

‘No.’ I don’t want it to be like every other time; I don’t want to be another woman in his bed.

Instead I become another woman on his floor.

I want to wait. I don’t want this to happen now.

But it does. *** Last year, I didn’t love myself enough to believe that if I told him to wait, he would, and then still want me. Have you ever given in to the moment because you were afraid that if you didn’t, the moment would never come again?

Sometimes, it’s just nice to read something on paper.

Not everything is better online, by default. Subscribe to The Printed Blog today and get an issue like this sent to you every single week. Find out more at www.theprintedblog.com. photography

Tyler Shields | http://bit.ly/tylershields photography

photography

Stacy Kranitz | http://bit.ly/dw4rfW

Lies

By Neal Boulton | 6/9/10 | HeroinLife.com

Stephanie Bassos | http://bit.ly/agL3ID photography

Tamar Levine | http://bit.ly/dzeNB6

http://bit.ly/c5siBE

Drug deceit. Don’t expect teens — or their parents — to be honest about their drug use, a new study shows.

Researchers often survey teens to determine the extent of drug use, but this new research finds that respondents frequently lie even if they know they’ll be tested for drugs or they’re told the results will be confidential.

The findings are important for pediatricians to understand, said study lead author Dr. Virginia Delaney–Black.

“If you think it’s important to know whether a kid is doing drugs — specifically heroin, prescription painkillers or cocaine — then don’t rely on what the teens report,” she said.

Perhaps some folks don’t trust the confidentiality agreement; others may think their behavior is no one else’s business or they may fear reprisal. “Many of us feel that this kind of personal information is personal, and that we don’t have to tell other people what the truth is,” said Delaney–Black, a professor of pediatrics at Children’s Hospital of Michigan.

For this study, researchers surveyed more than 200 teens and 200 caregivers — 80 percent were mothers — about their drug use and then analyzed their hair for at least one drug. The participants were black, poor and from an inner–city urban area.

The study findings, reported in the November print issue of the journal Pediatrics, were published online Oct. 25, 2010.

No teens said they’d recently used opiates such as heroin or prescription painkillers, but the hair tests showed that nearly 7 percent had. Among parents, 3 percent admitted using opiates while testing revealed use by 7 percent.

About 1 percent of teens reported recent cocaine use, while testing revealed the actual number was about one-third. Hair analysis showed 28 percent of parents had used cocaine but only about 6 percent admitted it.

It’s possible that the hair tests indicated drug use when a person was actually only around people who used drugs, Delaney–Black said. But, in essence, what the teens and parents said about their drug use was “very misleading,” she said.

Parents also tended to under–report their teenagers’ substance abuse, leading the researchers to conclude that health-care providers should rely on other methods, such as drug testing, rather than self-reports or parents’ reports to identify at–risk teens.

Previous studies looking into teens’ truthfulness about their drug use appear to have looked only at kids in drug treatment or in the court system, Delaney–Black said.

Ty S. Schepis, an assistant professor of psychology at Texas State University at San Marcos, said the study “generally reinforces what we know from work in adults, which is that people are usually less honest about substance use than we hope.”

People are reluctant to tell researchers, or almost anyone for that matter, that they participate in illegal or undesirable activities, he said.

“Even if it means lying, people often like to present themselves in a favorable light,” he added. — Bloomberg

Help The Printed Blog reach 3,000 subscribers and create a print platform for the best of the web. www.theprintedblog.com

Views expressed within The Printed Blog do not Necessarily reflect the views of the publisher or The Printed Blog Inc. www.theprintedblog.com

9

photography

world featured photographer

ZACH HYMAN Zach Hyman was born in Northern California in 1987. His father’s job caused him to move all over the country and in turn caused Zach to become an advocate of constant change and adventure. He attended North Carolina School of the Arts for the conservatory actor training program, and made the decision to leave school after his second year. His move to New York was spontaneous and risky. He willed his way to clear a path for his photography career in only a few short years.

Since moving to New York City in June of 2007 his work has reached both local and overseas markets and press. Zach’s photo work ranges from shooting stills on Sesame Street to commercial and fashion, but is most recognized for his infamous nude photography of men and women in public spaces; most of which were shown in the 2009 exhibition “Decent Exposures,” marking a turning point in Zach’s work and career. Zach shares DAMN STUDIO with THE SHALTZES/photographers in Dumbo and continues to grow and develop as a photographer, mainly focusing on the nude figure. http://www.zhfoto.com photography

Tyler Shields | http://bit.ly/tylershields Lifestyle

An Artist’s Lesson

By Joshua Karp | 11/18/10 | Joshua Karp

bit.ly/theprintedblog

Tyler Shields is an artist. His primary artistic language is photography, but he also engages people in performance art, where he endeavors to demonstrate the value of creativity and to teach us lessons, through his actions. There is no doubt he is a polarizing figure – fiercely loved by many and disliked by a vocal few. Love him or hate him, he’ll have an impact on you.

Recently, Tyler didn’t sleep for 40 consecutive nights. That’s a pretty incredible statement, and an even more incredible achievement. It doesn’t matter if you believe him or not - or frankly, if it’s true or not. As an admirer, I suspended my disbelief and I tried to find something of importance and value in the lesson Tyler was trying to teach - and I did.

Tyler is a product of the “MySpace” generation, and his fan base consists largely of young people in the U.S. and around the world. He’s a favorite of the young, up and coming Hollywood celebrity set, too.

Tyler is a serious artist, but sometimes he isn’t taken as seriously as he should be, simply because his style attracts younger people. The fact that he radiates creativity to more than 15,000 followers on Twitter and more than 3,600 fans on Facebook is, without a doubt, important. Only three or four years ago, the notion of promoting art to nearly 20,000 young people would have been a daunting task; now, Tyler does it every day. He’s asked for it, every day.

Staying up for 40 nights is a risky proposition, and I asked Tyler why he was doing it. I wondered if it set the wrong example for his fans, the pursuit of an activity that could have serious health consequences, or even death. Why would he want to push himself so far?

Tyler’s response was, “I wanted to show everyone that the impossible is possible.”

I was taken a bit aback. That’s a rather profound response. It’s simple and straightforward, and if someone I just met on the street or at a bar told it to me, I would have smiled, or nodded in knowing acknowledgement, and forgotten it a moment later.

But Tyler said it to me, and it was less than a week after he had returned to his normal sleep patterns after staying up for 40 nights straight. His statement took on new meaning for me, and after thinking about the trials and tribulations of what he just did, his lesson became clear.

Far too many people struggle with problems in their lives, and do not believe they have the power to fix them. It’s too hard; they are too afraid of the consequences; they allow fear to govern their actions; their problems seem insurmountable. They loose their ability to hope; they become paralyzed and they cannot do what is needed to change.

Unfortunately, many of these people are young people, trying to grapple in a new age, with new fears, and new challenges.

Through Tyler’s art, they can find a moment of uplifting creativity, a moment of escape, a moment of hope, an opportunity to be pushed, just a little bit, beyond their normal barriers; an opportunity to catch a fleeting moment of perspective on their own lives. He gives them the ability to believe that if Tyler can accomplish something so crazy, and unbelievable - and “impossible,” that maybe, they too, can do what’s needed in their own lives.

This is the lesson from Tyler’s art. co-founder and photographer

tyler shields As an artist, Tyler Shields knows no limits. While he has photographed some of the biggest celebrities in the world, Tyler’s work is far from exclusive to the celebrity realm.

Innovative and inspired, Tyler is truly an artist who specializes in organized chaos. Having garnered enormous respect among the artistic community and Hollywood alike, Tyler is in the unique position as an artist in which the world is his playground. Getting his start by directing music videos, Tyler then turned his focus to risky and cutting edge photography.

His work features some of pop culture’s most recognizable faces performing unspeakable acts. http://www.tylershields.com http://twitter.com/tylershields layout editor

Christina Trkalovska Christina brought the newest vision of The Printed Blog to life.

She balanced the demands of some of the world’s most prolific bloggers, practicing fine art photographers, and seasoned journalists to pull together a magazine seen and loved by thousands and thousands of people in 20 different countries around the world. Christina’s perspective on design and her creativity stood out among a team of magazine makers who demand the best. We owe a significant part of our success to her work. — Joshua Karp, Publisher http://www.kikitrkalovska.com http://twitter.com/kviviana

We’re on Facebook at www.facebook.com/theprintedblog and on Twitter at www.twitter.com/ theprintedblog. Join the conversation! And don’t forget to subscribe to The Printed Blog at www.theprintedblog.com today!

10

Zach Hyman, Damn Studio | http://bit.ly/dlcZbg

Unknown Soldier

By Zach Hyman | 11/18/10| Zach Hyman

http://bit.ly/theprintedblog

The “unknown soldier” is part of my most recent work in Israel. I was hired to shoot a mission with an organization. I’m completely non-political, peaceful, and somewhat oblivious to what is really going on in the world… but I felt the best way to learn is to go see and experience it with my own eyes.

I met him before I left. He had come from Israel to discuss the project, the trip, and my role while there. I showed him my work and he laughed at first… but later mentioned that he loved the photos. He ended up accompanying me on a few of the missions to different army bases. On one of the trips, we pulled over for a bathroom break next to the Galilee Lake. He had arrived in his land rover and when I stepped off the bus to smoke a cigarette, he joined me. We got to talking and I asked him if he would pose for a picture. “Give me three minutes to think about your work,” he said. “To think if I want to do it, and to think about what we might end up with.” When he agreed, I was thrilled!

I ran onto the bus and grabbed my Hasselblad. We shot for a total of 15 seconds and then he offered to drive me to the Jordan River. This was a very kind gesture considering I had been traveling only by bus for a week and he had just bared it all for me.

When we got in the car he broke out some hashish and I rolled a cigarette. We smoked and proceeded to talk. The soldier ran down the entire history of Israel and Palestine and all of the problems in both countries. I asked questions, he answered them, and I listened. I learned that the majority of these kids entering the army want peace… and that “Zionism and terrorism are dying.” He is happy and hopeful for peace and harmony, and he does not, in any conventional standard, support war or violence. However, he cannot not support his friends and family who often do.

His leg is an obvious effect of this conflict, and there are thousands and thousands of others just like him who have endured trauma or death. His leg was lost to friendly fire. He spent nine hours waiting to escape a small house that was under fire. His only escape from the pain was a constantly lit cigarette that had to be smoked under a blanket so their location was not revealed to the enemy who surrounded them. Eventually, he was carried to safety.

He skis, dives, runs, and plays every sport in the book. The injury has only made him stronger in both his mind and body.

When I got out of the car I was blown away by the conversation, and also sufficiently high. I began to tell a close friend about the story and the photo shoot. While describing the scene, the word “stump” came out of my mouth and I literally broke down and realized what that image actually was. Neither I, nor the soldier had even noticed what we were creating.

You can interpret this photo however you want. My job is to create a beautiful image and let the viewer decide what it means to them. To me, this photo is representative of the conflict and war. You can cut down a tree to a stump and it will live only as a relic atop the earth to be surpassed by the evolution of man. This man was also cut down by war but he will pass the stump, living still, and head into the field of green reeds in front of him.

We need to let go of the idea that power and violence are the ways to solve our problems as a human race. We will move beyond that dead stump one day, no longer seeing its purpose, and evolve into individually powerful and accepting humans that live for each other regardless of race, religion, or class.

www.theprintedblog.com | (312) 305-1000 | info@theprintedblog.com | all content used with permission from content owner

photography

lifestyle

civic test

By Vehemently Deny | 9/2/10 | Vehemently Deny

http://bit.ly/de59tg

I’ve had enough. I’m done with the ignorance. Over the ignoring of the facts. Fed up with the twisting of reality to suit your needs in any given moment. I’m sick of the constant need to be contrary. I’m exhausted with invoking Jesus and God as your reason for acting so horribly and judgmentally.

I am now more than ever, convinced that the right to vote should no longer be a right, but a privilege. One bestowed upon those that can pass a simple civic test. It has become all too apparent in the past couple of weeks that freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom to be stupid are quickly becoming the tenants under which this country and its right leaning member’s think we should head. It’s not just a symptom of Republicans; it’s across the aisle. Which makes this even sadder to witness.

At a time when partisanship should be the core of every debate, when the very livelihood of our citizens is at risk, this political bullshit has to stop. And one way I see that we can stop this trend of narcissistic, self-aggrandizing politicians is to force the very people who vote for them to prove in some small way their value as citizens of this great country.

I therefore propose the following: Upon entering the voting booth, each person will be required to take a ten question test encompassing basic knowledge regarding our government.

Before you can vote, you must answer all ten questions. If you answer in the 90% percentile, meaning nine out of ten right, the voting screen will then allow you to vote. If you do not pass this test, the voting booth will shut down and off you go about your day. Maybe on the way home you can pick up a book. Or a newspaper.

A sampling of how this test might look: 1. What is the title of the document that contains the first 10 Amendments to U.S. Constitution?

2. In what year did the U.S. declare its independence from English rule?

3. Name the three branches of government.

4. Who is third in line after the President and Vice-President to assume the duties of U.S. President?

5. Name one right or freedom guaranteed by the First Amendment.

6. Who is the Commander in Chief?

7. How many Senators are elected?

8. What are the colors of our flag?

9. Who signs bills into law?

10. What kind of government does the United States have?

And there you have it. Simple. Answer them all correctly and you get to vote. It’s time we start taking responsibility in this country. Our politicians need to go, but the only way we can make that happen is to make sure our people aren’t seduced by God-fearing banter, or activist talk.

Religion shouldn’t be a part of government. Just as hate, racism, bigotry, and stupidity shouldn’t. photography

Clayton Hauck | http://bit.ly/an5YWA photography

Stacy Kranitz | http://bit.ly/dw4rfW founder and publisher

joshua Karp Joshua Karp is a Chicago-based entrepreneur. Most recently, he founded The Printed Blog, the world’s first print newspaper comprised entirely of blogs and other online content. Started in December of 2008, launched in January, 2009, shuttered in July, 2009, and relaunched in August 2010, The Printed Blog captured the attention of the national and international media alike, culminating when Business Week named The Printed Blog one of “America’s most promising startups.” http://twitter.com/jkarp http://facebook.com/joshuakarp

Tyler Shields | http://bit.ly/tylershields politics

The Real Reason Palin is Homophobic, and still wants to Skin a Moose

By Francesca Biller-Safran | 11/18/10 | Francesca Biller-Safran

http://bit.ly/cKoSqa

I don’t know what y’all think about why our moose-haulin’, Russian-neighboring, Tea Partysupporting, Governor-quitting Sarah Palin is homophobic and anti-gay marriage, but I think she’s just plain pudding’ jealous that gay weddings will far exceed straight weddings across every aisle.

Even with her high falutin’ spending habit on buttoned-up designer suits, coiffed hairdo, jet-setting eyewear and cutsy pie one liners, she won’t ever be able to outdue the fabulous gay weddings about Mary too! aft and way-wittier and winkier speeches should homosexual weddings become the legal norm in “these here” United States.

An FYI, Palin said, “I am, in my own state, have voted along with the vast majority of Alaskans who had the opportunity to vote to amend our Constitution defining marriage as between one man and one woman.”

Last year, our dear Sarah rambled about how she had affinity for God’s creature the Moose and considered them part of her nuclear family, and yet had no problem shootin’ one straight in the eye and sticking its head on her wall, after skinning it like her dear daddy taught her.

A more intellectual sound bite I have never heard, but it should get y’all thinking about how even though she loves homosexuals, as she does all moose members and Noah’s Ark affiliates, we’d better beef up security should she ever attend a gay wedding. And this is coming from a politically incorrect liberal woman who is anti-feminist and pro-gun.

Writer Fran Lebowitz said, “If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would pretty much be left with Let’s Make a Deal.”

To that end, the Palins of the U.S. who oppose same-sex marriage are blatantly homophobic, jealous, and ironically may fear they won’t be able to partake in the most elegant and lavish receptions if gay weddings become the norm.

On the ugliness of bigotry against gays, John Stewart asked, “Why can’t they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys with M16’s going, “Who’d you call a faggot?”

The F-word is ugly, and homophobes are even uglier as politicians, hate mongers and some religious organizations are envious that their taste will nowhere near match the stylish, and dare I say classier savior faire as non-straight’s, whatever the heck of beans that even means.

Just think of it, at Gay Weddings, there will more choices than merely chicken or fish eaten at a hotel or church, with only wine or champagne, man and wife, and Rabbi or Priest, while guests drunkenly dance to the Macarena and George Michael.

Even though I am straight so far, I admit I was jealous when Ellen De Generis married Portia de Rossi; their wedding was to die for, and Ellen was first on my list should I become a lesbian, followed by Wanda Sykes and Rachel Maddow.

With a mainstream of civil-minded culture of gay weddings, there will be an untold fortitude of fashionable hip attire, for bridesmaids, grooms-maid’s, brides-men, brides-brides and groomsgroom’s. I apologize if I left anyone out. Have your people call my people.

And to think of the photo-ops alone! There will be a moratorium on overweight pyramids of guests stuffed into tight outfits with bouffant hairdos posing for pictures, except for the rare drag queen who will finally be allowed to attend weddings for the first time in his/her life.

On the subject of talented gay designers, Robin Williams said, “We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.”

Gay weddings may even result in a recession and consequent depression when wedding planners, caterers, wedding dress designers and florists will become unavailable to the mainstream as they plan long-awaited weddings for their beloved friends, leaving “straight” couples to fend for themselves.

But that’s okay yawl, because we know from reading the best seller of all time, ‘The Bible’ that same-sex marriage is a sin, and if a homophobe is honest, losing out on sinful wedding assistants won’t be a sin in anyone’s book after all.

Just think of the aesthetic improvements alone that will come into vogue. No more D.J.’s to get grandparents from Miami and the Los Angeles Valley to dance to the YMCA, because the Village People will finally be allowed to get married, and in high style at that.

Hey y’all… I just had a light-bulb evangelical awesome epiphany! Hail Jesus! And Mary too!

And Pat Robertson while I’m at it!

Perhaps if homophobes became less bigoted; some gays may still have it in their hearts to forgive and help in your children’s and grandchildren’s weddings after all.

It’s just a matter of time until “those people” will be able to legally wed at some point anyway, so why not get on their good side now so they can be invited to some of the best parties known to man, and thrown by men.

This reminds me of a classic Woody Allen quote about human sexuality and gender when he said, “Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.”

Not such a bad thought after all, Woody. And don’t forget about all of the parties you may be able to be a part of and attend.

God knows, with all of the hate-mongering, thought police, bi-partisan, isolationist politics that has now become enmeshed with a paparazzi sound-bited unethical journalistic media, we could all use a lot more parties, and not of the political genre.

About gay marriage, I’ll leave you with the wise words of Chris Rock, “Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.”

Hallelujah!

Views expressed within The Printed Blog do not Necessarily reflect the views of the publisher or The Printed Blog Inc. www.theprintedblog.com

11

lifestyle

Technology

On loneliness

By Eleni Zoe | 3/30/10 | Hope Dies Last

http://bit.ly/cHcp6p

I live in a city of four million people. Yet I am lonely.

I sleep forty feet from my immediate family. Yet I am lonely.

I work – in solitude – on most days. So I am lonely.

I have 127 friends on Facebook. Yet I am lonely.

I go out with a few honest to god real friends. But I am lonely.

I am pleasant with another fifty or sixty people. I am still lonely.

I don’t have a boyfriend. My loneliness is only magnified.

I talk to far away friends. And I am lonely.

Because despite all the things I have and all the things I don’t have, I spend the majority of my day living alone and on mute. This loneliness follows me wherever I go. A bank teller will glance at me and I think he can see it in my eyes. She’s lonely. I smile at the widowed grandmother in black and I refuse to look directly at her. Because then her loneliness and my loneliness will merge into one seemingly endless pool of loneliness. I see loneliness everywhere. I wouldn’t know where mine ends and another person’s begins.

I know other people get lonely too. They’ve told me so. In hushed conversations about life and death and love and family; they confess, ‘You know, I’m lonely too.’ I watch people on the street, moving, walking, passing, living. How do they live with their loneliness? How can they not–pause–like I do and massage my chest with my hand? It is the closest I can get to nursing my heart without tearing it out of my chest and laying it in a pile of rainbows and lollipops. But if I did that there would just be a gaping hole and that is what it already feels like… … so how do they feel it and push past it? Maybe they sense it but don’t give it a name? And if there is no definition it can’t be real, right? Maybe they drink to get over it. Attend party after party to avoid it.

I don’t blame them. Loneliness is torturous. Each time I wander into it, I see that it is true and empty and senseless and unreasonable. It is everywhere.

Why wasn’t I warned? Why didn’t anyone tell me growing up that I would feel this way? That we would all feel this way? When the time comes, when I have children of my own, and they fear the dark and they fear the empty space beneath their bed I’ll tell them what has taken me years and years to learn.

When Loneliness lands on your doorstep, you should welcome it in. Offer it a cup of tea, have a chat. Loneliness has lots to teach you. Then when you’ve taken all you can, you should promptly shove it out the door.

Tell me — whisper if you must — are you lonely? photography

I am ‘jailbroken’ (and better off for it)!

By Steve Bunes | 11/18/10 | Steve Bunes

http://bit.ly/9SaRiR

As some of you know, I’m a longtime iPhone user. I’d used just about every other ‘smartphone’ before becoming one of Steve’s groupies. As I’d said from the start, “it’s a pretty darn good phone, but perfect? That’s just not the case.” Well, I’m hesitating to say these words, but a ‘jailbroken’ iphone might just be perfect. For those of you who aren’t familiar with ‘jailbreaking’, it’s a fairly simple concept. A jailbroken iPhone is a phone that has had it’s software ‘tweaked’ to remove any of Apples security restrictions that keep you (me) from doing whatever we want with the phone. It allows rouge developers to write programs that are not restricted from doing whatever they’re trying to accomplish even if it doesn’t fit in with Apple’s plans. Google for ‘iPhone and Flash’ for a good example!

Recently, Apple lost some of it’s power to restrict jailbreaking when they lost a federal case the result of which makes it perfectly legal for an iphone owner to jailbreak their phone. Info on this issue is all over the internet and makes for a fascinating read. While jailbreaking is no longer ‘illegal,’ it still carries the risk of making your phone inoperable or flaky if you don’t do things just right. It can be tricky.

Finding out how to break my particular phone (a 3gs) was not for the faint of heart. My particular phone was harder to jailbreak than some, so there were dozens of Google hits with instructions that were incomplete and/or claims that this couldn’t be done. I must have spent 3 hours on and off looking. I finally came across the golden info and it was easy. On my particular setup (iPhone 3gs IOS4.0), I simply had to go to a website (www.jailbreakme.com) and push a button. Viola, jailbroken!

This was the moment that my journey down the rabbit hole began. When you jailbreak a phone, you automatically install an App onto your phone called Cydia. Before jailbreaking, you could only install Apps via the iStore, but now a whole other world is at your fingertips. Cydia is the portal to that world. Cydia is a near copy of the iStore, but is operating under the laws of freakanomics. You now have a wealth of programs you can load, most of them free that have been written by individuals who were not happy to live by Apples rules. I could not believe how many apps were available. Most of the contributors of these Apps are open source and open systems supporters. They strongly believe that anyone should be able to participate in their ‘open’ marketplace.

Most of these apps were technically illegal before the copyright ruling in July. This too makes this level of organization amazing. Some Apps are free and some are not. When you choose an App that is not free you can use either Amazon or Paypal to purchase. I installed many apps (over 20), and not a one of them screwed up my iPhone. I’ve encountered some quirks, but nothing that approaches pain.

What kind of stuff did I install? Let me see. Post jailbreak I installed a program called iPhoneBrowser on my PC. That allows me to save my voicemail files on my PC for later playback and amusement.

I installed an App called SBsettings. Wonderful utility that pops up a screen upon a swipe of the screen that allows you to turn on and off all your important iPhone thingies. WiFi, 3G, Bluetooth, etc. these are all much easier to control with SBsettings. This makes it more likely that you’ll make your battery last longer.

As soon as I saw an App call RemindYou I installed it. RemindYou puts today’s calendar on my initial iPhone screen allowing me to easily see today’s agenda. Later, I found that there are lots of variations of these type of Apps to display all kinds of ‘widgety’ stuff.

Finally, I installed ‘Frash’ which allow the iPhone browser to display Flash files. My single biggest disappointment has been (nearly) solved!!! Without a Flash player, many web pages simply don’t work or will be missing their snazzy animations. Someone actually wrote a Flash player clone you can download via Cydia. The player isn’t perfect, but I’ve used in on around 20 websites and only a few didn’t work. For me, this add-on would be enough of a reason to Jailbreak by itself.

My phone is now more controllable, a mobile hotspot for my PC, run Flash animations, and allows me to easily save any files I might want for safe keeping. I could talk about the 10 other Cydia apps I installed, but I’ll save that for a later entry. I hate to gush, but I’m now in the camp that believes my iPhone is Insanely Great! A final bit of advice — be sure to do your research before you jailbreak to determine the correct technique for your iPhone and IOS version. If you don’t fully understand what you’re reading, try to find someone that’s done it. If you do it wrong, you won’t break your iPhone forever, but you may have to reload from scratch which is a painful experience at best. photography

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